Forbidden Lust
by MrsCTG
Summary: Anastasia Steele has been with boyfriend Brody for over a year. But what happens when she's introduced to his best friend Christian Grey? What happens when she finds out he is developing feelings for her? Will she stay faithful to Brody? Or will she succumb to tempation. (A/U) (O/C)
1. Chapter 1

Forbidden Lust

**A/N - Hi guys! This is an idea that has been swimming around in my mind for a while now. They are the still the same Ana and Christian we all know and love with just a few twists and turns added into the fun! Characters are slightly O/C but not much! I And just for the record there will be no Elena in this story!**

**Enjoy!**

**(I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey, all rights belong to the amazingly talented E.L James)**

Chapter One - Introducing Brody and Anastasia

Anastasia's POV

Why am I so nervous?! I can feel myself starting to sweat and I know that if I don't calm down soon I will have to reapply my make up, I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my curls vigorously trying to give them a just fucked bouncy effect.

I got off the phone with Brody 5 minutes ago, he leaves work soon ready to come and pick me up to go on ahead to the restaurant.

Tonight I'm meeting with his closest friends, and I cant seem to stop fretting about it!

We have been together for nearly a year, living together for 6 months. I never thought I would move in with a boyfriend after such a short period of time but with Brody it just felt so _right_.

We met when he came into Nordstrom needing help finding a dress, ironically for his girlfriend at the time.

I remember back to how I froze in my tracks as I saw him ambling around the dress section, clearly not having a clue what he was looking for.

"_Ana! Oh my god look at that absolute hottie over there! Oh my god I think I have just died and gone to heaven" Kate whisper yelled at me as we were rearranging the hangers on the Valentino collection rail._

_I glanced over to wear her eyes were trained and nearly had to pick my jaw up off of the floor, Wow he was gorgeous! Tall with sandy blonde hair that had that surfer boy look to it, he was donning dark denim wash jeans, paired with a black tee and a deliciously fitting leather jacket. Oh my god he was built! Okay now he's looking this way and right at me, well shit that's embarrassing._

"_He is so looking at you Ana, get over there and ask him if he needs any help"_

"_No you go he has just caught me checking him out!" Please ground swallow me up_

"_Don't be such a baby he wants you to go over there I can tell by the way he is loitering, go now before I shout something at him" And knowing Kate she would, so I slowly turned and made my way over to him, smoothing my black pencil skirt as I went._

"_Hello there Sir, can I be of any assistance to you today?"_

_He turned his head and smiled such a sexy smile I nearly melted to a puddle on the floor._

"_Actually yes I haven't got a clue where the hell to start, I'm looking for a dress, an evening dress"_

"_Okay, may I ask who the dress is for?" Please say Mother, or Sister, Grandmother even_

"_It's for my girlfriend" Shit. Not that I should be surprised, look at him! He is just so heavenly,_

_I couldn't help but notice how he said 'girlfriend' though, like he didn't really want to admit to having one. He sounded resigned, sad in fact. Interesting._

"_Actually she's roughly around your size, just a little shorter. So whatever you would choose for yourself would be a great help to me" Damn there's that smile again._

_I led him around different sections of the store making idle chit chat as we went, once he had told me she likes designer brands I narrowed it down. She sounded like a high maintenance brat to me._

"_The Herve Leger collection is really popular this season, especially these bandage dresses" I reeled off in my best sales assistant voice, when really all I'm thinking is how I want him to pick the most ugliest dress here to make her look hideous. Wow. When did I become such a bitch._

"_I like this one" He picks up the alabaster coloured bandaged dress, cut just above the knees with a deep plunging double V neckline. I must admit it was a beautiful dress. Unfortunately._

"_Stunning choice" I smiled trying to stay as professional as I possibly could_

"_This must sound really strange but would you mind trying this on for me?" _

_He looks at me shyly and I cant help but smile._

"_Not at all we often try on things for customers, Right this way"_

_Once I'm inside the cubicle I peel off my clothes and slide the dress over my head. Admiring the way it hugs my curves perfectly. If only a gorgeous sex god would come in and buy this for me. _

_He is stood leaning against the entrance of the dressing rooms looking at his feet, he notices my presence and stands off the doorway, looking at me. looking at me with those beautiful eyes._

"_Umm wow that is..just..yeah wow" He stutters out clearly trying to find words._

"_Do you think your girlfriend would approve?"_

_His face falls as I mention her._

"_Yeah I think so, anything with that price tag attached is defiantely a winner" he scoffs._

_We stand there in silence for a few minutes just staring at each other, I actually have to clench my thighs together as his eyes turn dark, shit this is getting a little tense._

"_So…Would you like to take it?"_

"_Oh sorry yes thank you, it's an amazing dress" I smile and make my way back inside to change, trying to calm my nerves, there is definitely a spark there, there is no denying that its so raw and I'm sure if sexual chemistry was visible everyone would be able to see it around us for miles._

_Kate is looking intently at me as I bag up his dress, clearly noticing the tension between us but trying to focus on the stock take sheets spread out on the counter in front of her._

"_Thankyou…Umm sorry I've just realised I didn't get your name"_

"_Anastasia"_

"_Thankyou for your help Anastasia, I'm Brody by the way"_

_He smiled that amazing smile once more and left the department, I just stood there staring, checking out his fine ass as he walked away._

"_Okay since when did we start getting on first named basis with customers exactly? He likes you Ana"_

"_Shut up Kate we were just being friendly, besides he has a girlfriend" Even I couldn't mistake the disappointment in my voice._

"_Sure Steele whatever you say" _

I didn't see him again for weeks, secretly hoping he would come back in so I could talk to him, hell just so I could look at him. I had never met a guy as gorgeous as that in all my life, compared to all the puny frat boys I surrounded myself with at college this man was an Adonis! Then one night Me, Kate and Olivia were on a night out when I bumped into someone, literally bumped into someone and fell flat on my ass in the middle of the dancefloor, I grabbed the strangers outstretched hand as they helped me to my feet and were met with those gorgeous blue eyes that I had only dreamed about for weeks. He bought me a drink and we got talking, that's where I found out that he was no longer with his girlfriend. Funnily enough they had a huge argument the night following his trip to Nordstrom, they had attended a works Christmas party on his behalf, only to spend the whole night arguing over her spoilt and rude attitude towards his colleagues, she never approved of his choice to become a construction worker. Deeming it beneath him and a lowly career choice. _Hmm a construction worker _images of him and hot, sweaty and dirty flooded my mind and I had to physically wipe drool away from the corner of my mouth.

So that night he ended it with her. Told her he didn't like the person she had become and to stay out of his life.

That was over a year ago and now he we are.

"Ana are you decent? Can I come in?" Kate snaps me out of my reverie by knocking on the bedroom door.

"It's not like you haven't seen me naked before, get your ass in here and help me find shoes!" She laughs at my outburst as she places two wine glasses on my dresser and plonks herself on the bed, leaning back on her elbows. Kate and I have been best friends ever since I started at Nordstrom 2 years ago. She is the only person that can piss me off but make me laugh until my sides hurt all at the same time, along with Olivia she is the most amazing friend I could ever ask for.

"So how are you feeling? Are you nervous?" She asks as she takes a sip of wine.

"God I'm so nervous and I really don't know why, its not like I'm meeting his parents for the first time, Shit do you remember how nervous I was then!"

"I don't know Steele meeting friends is more of a bigger deal then meeting family, you actually give a shit what your friends think"

"Jeez thanks Kate make me feel better why don't you!"

"Stop worrying Ana they will love you, besides me and Olivia will be there for support, you look hot by the way"

I look down at what I'm wearing, tight skinny jeans with a white low cut loose fitting tank top, paired with a long silver chain hanging from my neck and a black blazer. I shrug and make my way over to my closet pulling out pair of shoes after pair of shoes, until Kate points to a pair of suede red platform Louboutins. Perfect. see what would I do without her.

"So who are these friends of his? Are they hot?" I have to laugh, Kate is one man eater. She reels men in like nothing I've seen before, I don't think I have ever known her to be single.

"Ummm Dylan, Blake and…Christian I think, I cant really remember, all I know is that they have been best friends for years and they are more like brothers, He has been trying to get me to meet them for months but I have always thought of an excuse to get out of it, you know I hate meeting new people…And hey why are you asking if they're hot? What about Elliot?"

Kate and Elliot have been fuck buddies for so long now, Brody works for Elliot's construction firm here in Seattle and they were introduced to eachother one night, lets just say they hit it off well. They pretend they cant stand each other unless they are naked but I know different. Deep down they care but are both too stubborn to admit it.

""Ugh don't even talk to me about that shit head. If he likes his balls attached to his penis he better stay away from me tonight" Here we go.

"What did he do now?" I slip my phone, keys and lipgloss into my clutch bag and take a large gulp of wine. Dutch courage.

"Just the same Elliot shit, maybe I'm just tired of being his 2am booty call" Just as I'm about to reply I hear Brody come through the apartment door and the sounds of his work boots hitting the door mat.

"Baby where are you?"

"In the bedroom!" I yell back

"You better not be dressed yet, all I have thought about all day is bending your sweet ass over and sticki…..Oh hey Kate didn't realise you were here yet" I giggle at my boyfriends expense as he realises my best friend is sprawled out on our bed

"Hey Brody, sorry to put a kabosh on your plans for a quickie but we are on a tight schedule here so be a good boy and jump in the shower will you" I laugh as Brody mock salutes Kate.

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Baby what time are the reservations for tonight" I ask as I slide in my large hoop earrings.

"8.30, the guys will already be there when we arrive"

Well that just shot my nerves to shit, I was at least hoping I could be sat down when they all got there but now I have to make this big grand entrance. Brody must notice my discomfort because he places his large hands on my face and kisses me sweetly.

"Baby don't worry, they will love you how could they not, you look so beautiful by the way" He kisses me once more and makes his way to our En Suite. I really hope he's right.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two - Best friends or brothers?

Anastasia's POV

Brody holds my hand and strokes my knuckles as we ride over to Lola's, his touch soothes me and I relax into the seat resting my head onto his shoulder, Mmm he smells good.

"So Brody how did you guys all meet" Kate blindly tries to apply her lip gloss as we travel over speed bumps in the back of the cab.

"Well you know how I met Elliot, Dylan and Blake I met at college, we were all at the same frat party one night and me and Blake intervened a fight between Dylan and some asshole who was hitting on his girl, we were inseparable back then and had the best times together, then I met Christian through Ell, he's his little brother and he's one amazing guy, I wasn't sure what to think of him at first he was really closed off and quiet, but once you get to know him he has a heart of gold and would do anything for the people he loves, he's just started his own company actually. the Kids a genius"

"What company?"

"Grey Enterprises Holdings, manufacturing, telecommunications, finance you name it he does it"

"Wait is that the guy that's been splashed all over Seattle Times for the past month? Shit everyone is saying how he can give Bill Gates a run for his money!" Kate exclaims as she leans over me.

"Yeah that's him, he's worked his ass off for years to save for this. He didn't want to live off his parents like everyone expected him to and he saved every penny he made for this business venture. I told you the guy is amazing"

I cant help but smile as I hear Brody talk about his friends, I can see the pure love shining in his eyes. I knew they were all close but I never got just how much. Now I feel bad for taking so long to pluck up the courage and meet them, I just didn't want to let Brody down and embarrass him. I'm still scared that I will, Shit what if I fall over? Or get food stuck in my teeth. I'm not the worlds most gracious person. I feel the car come to a stop outside of Lola's and Brody helps me out. We scour the place once we're inside looking for his friends and we find them in the far corner of the restaurant hunched over bottles of beers.

"Here they are finally!" Elliot slams his beer down and stands to shake Brody's hand and kiss me on the cheek, I see him looking at Kate not quite sure knowing how to greet her but she just looks at anywhere but him linking on to my arm.

"Guys I want you all to meet my beautiful girlfriend Anastasia Steele, Ana you know Ell and this is Blake, Dylan and Christian" Brody stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders and points to everyone as he introduces them.

"Its so nice to meet you Anastasia, our boy here never stops talking about you its so nice to put a face to a name finally" Dylan kisses my hand and then my cheek as I remember myself and smile, still trying to quash my nerves, I move along to shake Blake's hand who I can already see glancing over at Kate smirking slightly. Shit let those games begin.

I come to a stop at whom I assume is Christian and look up into the most gorgeous grey orbs I have ever seen. Wow he is one good looking bastard. He is so tall and well built, I can see his well defined biceps flexing beneath his white dress shirt as he stretches his hand out to me and I can tell he must work out. A lot.

"it's a pleasure to finally meet you Anastasia" Wow even his voice is sexy, so deep and sultry that it makes the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end.

"Oh please call me Ana all of you, only my Mother calls me Anastasia and that's more than enough people for me" Brody pulls out my chair for me and kisses my cheek and we all easily fall into mindless chatter about anything and everything, I discover Dylan is married to his College sweetheart and they are expecting their first baby together whilst Blake is still single and waiting for the right girl. Hmm a player. I could sniff that out as soon as I saw him, he has those eyes that you know would train on any piece of ass that walks by as soon as your back was turned. Christian remains the quietest out of the group and doesn't divulge much information about his private life. He just listens intently and occasionally speaks up giving his opinion.

I look up and see Olivia bouncing over to our table in all of her Double D glory, Jeez I swear her tits just get bigger and bigger every time I see her. Olivia alongside Kate has to be one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in my life. She has this incredible hourglass figure that looks good in practically anything she wears, gorgeous mid length auburn hair, flawless skin and perfectly straight white teeth. I'm surprised I don't hate her actually.

"I am so sorry I'm late you guys I had one nightmare ass client who couldn't decide on highlights or a full head colour only for me to then get her to the sink just as her phone rang and I had to wait half an hour her to finish her phone call, then the stupid taxi was late and he couldn't find his way here he kept missing the turning, I mean seriously who doesn't know where Lola's is has he been living under a god damn flaming rock!" She lets out a deep breath following her rant and throws my wine down in two large gulps.

"Sweetie its fine we haven't even ordered we've just been drinking, which by the way you owe me now" She laughs as she realises it was my wine she chugged down in one and signals for the waiter to bring another bottle.

Once our mains arrive I look over the table to see Kate glaring over at Elliot and playing with her food, he gives her a 'what the hell have I done?" face and she just narrows her eyes at him downing the remainder of her wine. Shit he has really pissed her off this time.

"So Ana, Brody tells me you work at Nordstrom, how do you like it?" I snap my head around as I notice this was Christian asking me this. I couldn't mistake that sultry voice anywhere.

"Oh its okay I guess, it's a job and it pays well. Its just not what I envisioned myself doing with myself you know"

"Oh? What did you envision yourself doing?" He picks up his beer and takes a swig, I cant help but notice the way his throat bobs as he swallows the liquid, and the way his long fingers curl around the neck of the bottle. Jeez what is up with me.

"Something in publishing, I have always loved books ever since I was a kid, whenever I could I would be in our tree house with my head in a book just losing myself in the story. I even studied English Literature at college"

"Why didn't you pursue it? Use your degree?" This is the most he has said all night and I can see just how genuinely interested he is in what I have to say.

"I just lost my way I guess, after I graduated my Father was took ill and I had to head home and take care of him, he's okay now but I was gone for five months and once I moved to Seattle I just lost faith in myself to become a good editor" I'm surprised I'm actually even telling him all of this. Only Brody, Kate and Olivia know how hard it was for me when my Dad suffered with a heart attack and was in a critical condition for several weeks. My Dad is my hero and when I thought I was going to lose him my whole world crumbled around me, he came into my life when I was seven months old when he met my Mother, my biological Father was a complete waste of space and left my Mom when she told him she was pregnant with me. I have no desire to meet him or ever get to know him. I don't even know where he is.

"I think if you want something bad enough you do anything to get there, if publishing is your dream don't let anyone or anything get in your way. Look at me for example, My father wanted me to go to Harvard and become some hot shot attorney with my own firm and follow his footsteps but I didn't want it you know?" I nod as I know exactly how it feels when your parents don't support your career decisions, my Mom never wanted me to go into publishing, she wanted me to train in something 'proper' like medicine or finance. I love her to death but she is one condescending pain in the ass.

"So here I am, just started my own company and loving every single minute of it. I pissed off my Dad along the way but I'm so proud of myself for sticking with my decisions" I smile as he speaks, he is a really inspirational guy to listen to. Brody was right he's a genius.

Brody gently touches my arm effectively putting a stop to Christian and I's conversation.

"Baby Kate suggested we all go on to a club after here, what do you think? You up for it?"

Of course Kate would suggest a club, any excuse to drown her body weight in tequila and dance the night away.

"Sure babe whatever every one else wants to do" I smile and lean over kissing him softly on the lips several times, he gives me a sexy grin and pulls me back in for another kiss this time dipping his tongue inside my mouth slightly. Once I pull away I catch Christian in the corner of my eye looking uncomfortable and playing with his now empty beer bottle. Maybe he just isn't keen on public displays of affection.

I link arms with Kate and Olivia as we all leave the restaurant out on the sidewalk to hail a cab.

"Kate what's up with you tonight, if looks could kill I'm pretty sure Elliot would be dead right now"

She sighs heavily and shakes her head, turning her back away from the rest of the group.

"He called me Wednesday night asking me to meet him for a drink at the bar across from work, I went over there to wait for him and he never showed, an hour and a half I waited for the bastard before I eventually gave up and went over to his apartment looking for him. I pulled up outside his complex and saw that little slut that works for him leaving the lobby looking less then put together, then I saw Elliot trailing behind her with his hair all over the fucking place with a massive grin on his face opening the car door for her before shoving his tongue down her throat" Oh shit

"Kate I'm sorry honey" I reach over and stroke her arm, she looks really sad about this. Kate and Elliot have never been exclusive but I guess it must hurt having him wave another conquest in her face.

"What an asshole!" Olivia exclaims from beside me "I should go over there now and rip his head off for treating you like that, who the hell does that!"

"Liv calm down its okay its not like I'm really bothered or anything, I just hate the way he thinks he can just pick me up whenever he's bored only to drop me when little miss air head with fake tits comes along" I cant help but laugh at Kate's description of Cassidy, she works as Elliot's secretary and no one likes her, I often go down to the yard and want to rip her ratty extensions out for the way she acts around Brody. Seriously the girl has no class.

"Come on lets just have fun tonight, forget Elliot and his wandering dick for one night, he's not worth it" I grab their hands and we split up into two taxis. I squeeze myself in between Kate and Christian as Brody turns around from the front seat and winks at me.

Thankfully the journey to the club isn't a long one as I'm starting to feel really hot. That's when I realised its because I'm sandwiched in between my best friend and Christian in the back of a tiny cab, Christian hasn't turned his attention away from the window once and I cant help but wonder what he's thinking. God he's a beautiful man. Most guys are sexy and hot, handsome and rugged but never beautiful. Christian is the definition of beautiful. I really have to stop staring like that, its becoming inappropriate and if I'm not careful Kate will notice, or even worse Brody. I look over to see if he is watching me but he has his head stuck in his phone, that's weird Brody never gets his phone out in public, he considers it rude and disrespectful to the people you are with. I wonder what he is doing.

Before long we arrive at one of Seattle's hottest nightspots Trinity. Christian tells us all to follow him as he approaches security on the door and is immediately granted access into the club. Wow is that how he gets treated everywhere, just instant access? Not that I am complaining I loathe queues and waiting, I personally think you spend half of the night spent in a queue. Trinity is a multi story venue with three separate themed rooms and a large VIP area, we have been coming here ever since I moved to Seattle and rarely ever make it home before 4am. Funnily enough this is the club that Brody and I bumped into each other in all those months ago, when ever we come here I cant help but smile thinking this was the place where it really started happening for us.

"Baby what do you want to drink?"

"A Mojito!" I yell in his ear. Wow Brody orders so much alcohol my eyes near enough pop out of my head.

"Whoa babe you worried they're gunna run out!" There's four Mojitos, five beers, another five tumblers of bourbon, six neat vodkas and at least ten tequila shots.

"We haven't been out together in so long Ana I intend for us to have a good night, besides Dylan and Blake drink like sailors on leave they will slam half of this just between the two of them"

Once we are sat at the booth the drink starts flowing, I've already downed two Mojitos and I'm now starting my third tequila shot, I'm starting to feel a little buzzed and I don't think I'm the only one, Kate and Olivia bounce off towards the dance floor as Brody, Dylan and Blake head to the bar for more drinks. I decide to go join my girls and stand up to leave the booth, as I do my head spins and I have to grab the edge of the table to balance myself, shit I'm already feeling drunk.

"Whoa Ana you okay?" Christian stands to grab my arm worried I might fall backwards no doubt.

"I'm fine I just stood up too quickly!" I stick my foot out to step down but twist my heel and nearly end up flat on my face, I feel Christian grab me by the waste and pull me back before I hit the floor.

"Oops that was a close one! I giggle as I turn still in the hold of Christian, he grins with me showing off that amazing American boy smile making my heart skip a beat, he lifts his hand to gently push away a wayward curl hanging across my forehead.

"You sure your okay?" I can feel his breath on my lips and I have to swallow the lump in my throat, my eyes dart to his lips that look so soft and full, I shake my head at the direction my mind is heading and pull out of his grasp.

"I'm fine honestly, I'm heading over to dance" He nods at me and I cant help but notice the forlorn expression on his face as I turn and walk away. Shit was all that about. This alcohol must be going to my head way too fast, maybe I need to slow down.

As I reach Kate and Olivia the music changes to Usher's Scream and I immediately start swaying my hips to the beat of the song, Kate swings me around making me laugh as she starts grinding into my ass and Olivia moves round to the front of me rolling to the floor and sliding back up again. These two love to put on a show when it comes to dancing and hell so do I! It always gives me such a thrill and I cant help but feel sexy and feminine.

As I dance I can feel someone's gaze on me, I look around but everyone is in their own drunken filled hazes, I look up and that's when I see Brody leaning against the railing above us stood with the guys, I smile and wave at him blowing a kiss as he grins down at me and winking, I glance to who is stood next to him and see Christian looking intently at me, his eyes are burning in to me and I cant tell if he looks pissed off or not. The one thing I do know though is the way his gaze is making me feel, I can feel my breath hitch and movements slow but I try to recover myself and pick up my dancing again tearing my eyes away from his, as I dance I can still feel his eyes on me and I cant help but look back up in his direction. Even in muted darkness and flashing strobe lights I can see the desire in his eyes, he lifts his beer to his mouth taking a large gulp his stare never leaving mine. Shit why is that so hot? I know I'm staring back and I can't help it, what the hell is going on here? I'm with Brody, I love Brody! Fuck I need to go find him.

**A/N - The next chapter you will see Christian's POV**


	3. Chapter 3

**Two chapters in one go! Just because I really wanted this to go out tonight!**

Chapter Three - My Girl

**Christian's POV**

I'm stood at the railings above the dance floor with the guys looking down below, the girls are dancing like no one else is in the room and I can see Blake practically coming in his pants as he watches Kate grinding all over Olivia groping every inch of her skin as she goes, Blake makes my brother look like a fucking angel he has been with so many women I cant even count, I just hope he knows what he's letting himself in for lusting over Kate, Elliot may act like him and Kate are just a bit of fun but I know that he sees her as more I just don't get why he keeps going back to that tramp Cassidy, Christ is she one disgusting excuse for a woman. I went over to his yard tonight and as soon as she saw me she was practically sitting on my knee salivating over me, if she thinks shoving those grotesque fake tits in my face is what gets me going she has another thing coming. She repulses me and I haven't got the faintest idea what Elliot sees in her.

"Ell what's going on with you and Kate, she has been giving you the evil eye all night" I nudge my brothers arm as he moves to stand next to me, sighing heavily as he looks below and trains his eyes on Kate's movements.

"Fuck I don't know Bro, I like the girl I really do, she's sweet under all that bullshit front she puts on and fuck is she an animal in bed!" I roll my eyes as he grins into his beer bottle clearly conjuring up some visual in his head. Come back to me Brother

"But I don't want anything serious, I don't think she does either not really we're not programmed like normal human beings, we love sex and we love the chase. I know if I didn't get bored of her after a month she would sure as hell get bored with me, I'm just not a commitment kind of guy"

I can't say I practically blame him, I'm not exactly what you call marriage material. I tried the dating thing in High School and failed miserably at it, there were tits and ass in every direction being thrown at you and it would be typically every teenage boys wet dream, but there was just something missing for me. Something that didn't quite click.

When I turned Eighteen I hit an impasse in my life, I turned to drink and staying out every night of the week which in turn drove my Mother absolutely crazy, I would fuck random girls in bars on a regular basis, never even stopping to get their names. Not like I cared what their names were. I would get into fights and end up being bailed out of a prison cell by my Dad on more than one occasion. I knew all I ever did was disappoint my parents and the more that fact hit home the more I continued to disappoint them. I'm not much of a talker now and I was even less back then, I didn't want to make friends I didn't want to talk about my problems. I just wanted to find my own way through life, without the help of my Father and my inheritance. I wanted something to call my own, I wanted to be my own boss and not have to answer to anyone. I just wanted control. Girlfriends and commitment have never been my thing. I have just flitted from fling to fling never wanting anything more. I'm snapped out of my reverie as I feel a hand slap on my shoulder looking round to see Brody grinning at me.

"Having fun man?" He hands me a beer and comes to stand by the side of me leaning against the railing on his elbows.

"A fucking blast! You know how much I hate this kind of shit" He laughs and takes a swig of his drink before setting his gaze down on to the dancefloor spotting the girls. I see Ana look up and spot Brody looking at her, she blows a kiss at him making him grin. _Fuck she looks beautiful_

"Beautiful isn't she?" He asks me and I wonder if I accidentally said that out loud. "Hmm?"

"Ana she's gorgeous isn't she, I really hit the jackpot with her Christian" I look down at her and take her in, Gorgeous doesn't even begin to describe her. I nearly fell off my chair when she walked into the restaurant tonight. She has these amazing azure blue eyes that I cant seem to stop looking into, not to mention her outrageous body, Fuck her legs go on for miles they never seem to end! She is definitely one stunning woman. It's then I notice her catch my gaze and its like time freezes. The way she is moving is putting me in a trance and there is not one ounce of power in me that wants to stop looking at her. I've never looked at a woman the way I look at Ana before, I've never even found myself ever telling a woman she is beautiful because to me they are just _there_, there for one reason and one reason only. But with Ana she is something else. When I caught her from falling earlier I felt a spark, that spark that people always bang on about in books and movies. That spark that I thought was absolute bullshit until tonight.

I quickly snap back to reality before Brody realises I'm practically checking his girl out. _His girl. My best friends girl_ "Yeah she's a real looker Brody, you found a good one" He grins at me and shakes his head.

"I really do love her. I know I said that before about Evie but with Ana its something else entirely, She makes me feel alive you know, I can be myself around her and I know she wouldn't judge me. I knew she was the one for me as soon as I saw her in Nordstrom" I know I should be happy for Brody, he's one of the best guys I know and he deserves someone amazing after his train wreck of a relationship he had with Evie, God she was one gold digging bitch that wouldn't know a good guy if he got down on one knee in front of her, I was ecstatic when he called that one off. And I am happy for him, but why cant I stop looking at his girlfriend? I may be an asshole but I know the rules when it comes to friends girls and I would never cross that line. Shit I really just need to get laid.

"Here she is now, Hey baby you having fun?" Brody snakes his arm around her waste and nuzzles her neck as he pulls her close, her arms going willingly round his neck.

"Yeah I just missed you" Fuck pass me a bucket. Great now they're making out.

"Ughh will you two get a room your making us all feel ill!" Thank you Kate. Eventually they pull apart and Ana walks over to the bar ordering another drink.

"Shit Brody your necking them back tonight man!" I look over and Dylan is right he is taking those tequilas like water.

"Who are you my Mom I'm just having fun with my boys is that such a crime" I can see in his eyes he's clearly intoxicated but he doesn't seem to be slurring his words yet or stumbling around the place so he must be okay. Ana comes back with a tray full of more tequila shots, Fuck they drink like crazy!

"Christian?" Ana hands me a shot and I shake my head, I have had more than enough anymore and I will be on my back.

"Come on just one more" She tilts her head at me and smiles. _So adorable_. I take the shot from her and swallow the burning liquid in one. That shit is vile. While I only have the one Brody makes sure he has at least three before walking off to the toilet, Okay now he's stumbling so I make a mental note not to let him have any more.

"Ana I think he has had way too much to drink" I don't know why I have just said this as she is taking back another shot herself. I'm surprised Brody lets her even drink this much.

"He will be fine he's used to it, Seriously don't worry" She smiles that smile again and I cant help but smile back, then she picks up her Mojito and takes a sip never taking her eyes off of me, licking her lips as she swallows. Fuck my dick just twitched. Brody comes back from the toilet nearly tripping over his own feet grabbing Ana from behind practically dry humping her.

"Fuck you smell so good Ana I just want to take you home and eat you"

"Baby calm down we're in company remember" She turns her head and kisses his cheek trying to calm him down but that only makes him worse.

"You shouldn't have such an amazing ass then should you, then I wouldn't want to bend you over and bury my dick in you every minute of the damn day" He clearly thinks he is saying this quietly and only Ana can hear him but the truth is we all heard it and for the first time in my life I want to smack my best friend in the face.

"Brody!" Ana yells whilst everyone else is practically on the floor in stitches, I force a fake laugh when really all I want to do is hurl at the image he has just planted in my head. _Fuck why has that bothered me so much_

"Okay Casanova why don't we take this onto another club" Blake says as he helps Ana hold him up

"Err no guys I think I'm just gunna get him home he has had way too much. maybe he cant handle as much as I thought"

"Aww Ana the nights only young don't go yet!" Kate whines as she tosses back another tequila and looks over at Elliot giving him the eye. Yep them two will be fucking tonight.

"Baby im f..fffine honestttt" He lets go of her and Blake to try and prove his point but only ends up stumbling backwards catching himself from falling on the edge of the bar.

"No you're not your wasted Brody and we're going home now, You guys go on without us okay" She grabs his arm and tries to get him to move. Does she really think she can get him home by herself? " Ana let me help you get him home go downstairs and hail a cab I will bring him down"

"Christian it's okay I can manage honest"

"No I wont take no for an answer go on outside" I grab Brody and sling his arm around my neck as Ana hugs everyone in turn telling Kate and Olivia she will call them in the morning.

As we get outside I lean him up against the wall telling him to breathe the air into his lungs before the taxi comes, I spot Ana at the sidewalk raising her hand as a cab comes to a stop.

"Come on man its bedtime for you"

"Chris I love you man, like I really really love you" I fucking hate it when he calls me Chris but seeing as he's smashed I'll let it slide.

"I love you too now get in the fucking car and watch your head" I near enough throw him on the back seat as Ana reaches for his head and pulls it in her lap whilst rubbing his back, he moans and groans the whole way back to their apartment saying how sick he feels, he is gunna regret this one in the morning, finally we make it to their place and I once again sling his arm around my shoulder dragging him up the stairs as Ana fishes through her bag for her keys. Once inside she flicks on the light switches and leads the way to which I'm assuming is their bedroom. She pulls back the covers and tells me to lay him down whilst she goes to fetch some water and an Advil. I don't think Advil is gunna cure this one!

Once I've took his shoes off I throw the covers on him and wait for Ana to return. So this is their room. I look around and take in my surroundings. It's so _warm_. You can tell this is a couples bedroom just by its contents, separate walk in closets with the lights left on, clearly showing a males and females wardrobe. A dresser in the corner of the room with grooming essentials scattered across the top; perfume, aftershave, moisturiser and a jewellery box. On the bedside cabinet is a large wooden frame, I pick it up to inspect it further. Taken in what looks like some sort of meadow or park Ana and Brody are on the floor with their arms around each other, it looks like they were play fighting of some sort as someone has captured the shot as they have fallen to the floor, Ana has her arms around Brody's neck as she nuzzles his neck laughing whilst Brody has his hands laid over the top of hers grinning at her. They look so _happy._ I set the frame back in its place as Ana comes in with a glass of water and a bowl.

"Just in case he vomits in the night" She grins at me sitting on the edge of the bed pushing his hair off his forehead, by this point Brody is out for the count snoring like a lumberjack.

Ana stands and turns off the bedside lamp closing the door behind her.

"Damn he's gunna feel that one in the morning" She giggles and it's without a doubt the best sound I have ever fucking heard. It's the first time I have really noticed it, maybe because now we're not in some obnoxiously loud bar where you cant even hear yourself think.

"Would you like a drink? Tea? Coffee? Something stronger?"

"Umm coffee would be great, only if your sure?"

"Absolutely, somehow I'm not in a rush to be getting into bed with snoring Simon through there" I laugh as she makes her way into the kitchen pulling out mugs and boiling the kettle.

"So Christian are you seeing anyone?" Wow straight to the point

"No I'm not as it happens. I don't really do the girlfriend thing?"

She turns around and cocks her eyebrow at me "Not another Elliot are you?" I can't help but let out a loud laugh, of course she knows about my brother's sleeping habits. He is knocking off her best friend after all.

"No no nothing like that, It's just not for me. The commitment thing"

"Really? That surprises me"

"Why do you say that?" I perch on one of the breakfast bar stools leaning on the counter with my elbows

"Well..Just look at you…You're just so..You" I laugh again at her less then descriptive portrayal of me.

"What do you mean?" She pours the coffee into the mugs and adds milk.

"Oh come on Christian, sugar?" I shake my head "You're a young and attractive business man with so much going for you, you're smart and inventive not to mention inspirational, you could have any woman you want" All I heard in that sentence was that she thinks I'm good looking

"That maybe but half the women I come across are only interested in one thing, they are shallow and self centred creatures too lazy to earn a living so they decide its easier to latch onto a guy with money and sponge off them for the rest of his life" She places a mug in front of me and takes a seat across from me at the breakfast bar.

"Is that what Evie was like?" This takes me back a little

"Evie?"

"Brody's ex girlfriend? Is that what she was like? I kind of get the impression she was a bit of a bitch but Brody never likes to say too much about her, I think he thinks it would upset me if he spoke about her"

"Would it?" I ask genuinely interested

"No no way, I know there is nothing there between them anymore I'm just curious about her"

I take a gulp of my drink and decide to give her the information she obviously wants so much. "She was a bitch Ana, she never made him happy not deep down, they were young when they met and it was just a relationship of convenience more than anything. She was a part time secretary that lived off Daddy's money and never wanted to work, Don't get me wrong she was attractive but only on the outside. She was rude and manipulative and treated Brody like shit. We were all so glad when he ended it with her" I look at her and she is just listening intently, I don't think I am telling her anything she doesn't already know but I still think she needs the clarification.

"His parents got on with her though didn't they?" Boy did they

"Yeah they liked her, but they didn't see the side that we all saw of her. She was excellent at putting on a front for everyone around them, pretending to be the perfect girlfriend. Have you met them, Brody's parents?" She nods slowly but I can see the sadness in her eyes.

"Yeah we met pretty much straight away, we get on okay but I guess I've always felt like they compare me to her you know? Especially his Mom, not so much now but when we first got together she would make little comments saying 'Evie this, Evie that' I suppose things like that just stick in your mind for a while" She looks down into her coffee mug trailing her finger round the rim as she speaks, I want to grab her and shake her until she gets that Evie fucking Davis could never light a candle to her. She's just so perfect.

"Forget about her Ana and don't let her get in your head, Brody left her for a reason. She's a bitch plain and simple, and as for his parents? Lets just say that Maggie and Bryan Williams aren't exactly switched on when it comes to sniffing out low lives" I smile at her and without thinking reach over and grasp her hand across the counter. Her eyes dart to mine and then back to where my hand rests on top of hers and I swear I hear her breathing catch. I clear my throat and pull my hand back pulling myself together. "I should errr really be heading home now, early start and everything. Thanks for the coffee" I stand and pull jacket on as she heads towards the front door.

"No problem thank you for helping me get Brody back in one piece, and thanks for listening"

"Anytime…Call me if you need any help with him okay?" She nods and goes to open the door slightly resting her hand on the side of the frame. "Thanks again Christian" She reaches up and lightly presses her lips to my cheek. Fuck I think my heart just skipped a beat. She pulls back and smiles at me. I smile back and head out turning back to give her a slight wave. I take in a deep breath as the fresh air hits me. Fuck. I'm in trouble.

**Anastasia's POV**

I shut the door and slide off my shoes and blazer draping it over the arm of the couch. I maybe shouldn't of kissed his cheek like that but it just felt so right in that moment, He opened up to me about Evie and he actually made me feel better about it all, I cant talk to Brody about my insecurities when it comes to his ex girlfriend he just won't understand. I cant deny the fact that I find Christian attractive, I would never act on that but I think every woman would be lying if they said they didn't think Christian Grey is good looking.

I tiptoe into my bedroom and gently flick on the bedside lamp, Brody is still sleeping and I wish I could say he was sleeping soundly. Christ he sounds like a fog horn! I head to our bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, dumping my clothes in the laundry bin as I slip one of Brody's XL tee's over my head to slip in. I go to find his clothes that are lying on the floor next to the bed and pick them up, as I reach for his leather jacket his iPhone falls to the floor. I bend down to pick it up and accidentally hit the button and light up his home screen. And there lies a text. A text from _her._

_Thank you so much for coming over to help me last night, I don't know what I would do without you. Evie xxx_

I can't think. I cant breathe. He went to see _her_. behind my back? What the hell is he playing at, and why the fuck is that little bitch putting kisses at the end of a text to _my _boyfriend?!

I look at my sleeping man and slide in bed next to him, laying as far as I can away from him. Get your sleep baby, because your hangover is about to get a whole lot worse.

**A/N - Just for the record Christian does not practice in BDSM in this story, I was going to have him be a dominant but in the end ultimately wanted to go down a different route. This will be a slow burning story as I really want to explore them as their feelings develop. I will also be throwing a bit of Kate and Elliot into the mix from time to time. Just to add to the fun! Reviews are always greatly appreciated!**

**MrsCTG x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four - Time for the truth**

**Anastasia's POV**

I haven't slept a wink. I just tossed and turned all night until I could stand it no longer. I'm sat on the couch with my legs curled up beneath me cradling a mug of now cold tea just staring into space. I know Brody will be up for work in less than an hour and the truth is I can't stand to face him, I need answers about that text but do I really want to hear them? Whatever Brody has to say the bottom line is that he went to see her, it says so in black and white and clear as day. _He went to see her_. My stomach roils at the thought and I almost want to run to the sink to throw up. Why would he go to see her? What reason is there to justify that my boyfriend went to see his ex girlfriend behind my back? I already feel betrayed and it cuts deep. We have always had such an honest relationship with no secrets, we always lay everything out on the table no matter what. I feel a single tear run down my cheek and quickly dash it away, I will not cry! I hear the shower running from the direction of our En Suite signalling that he's up. What really gets me is that this is so out of the blue. I know she lives in Seattle and even mixes in the same groups and social scenes we do but we never see her, well we saw her once. Two weeks after me and Brody started dating we bumped into her whilst we were walking through Pike Place Market, all I remember thinking was how fucking beautiful she was. Tall and curvaceous with long sleek blonde hair, Hazel eyes and a tan to die for, She looked like a Victoria Secret model. She spotted us over the flower stand and practically sprinted over shooting daggers at me the entire time. Brody tucked me under his arm and squared his shoulders like he was preparing for battle. I didn't hear anything that I wasn't expecting. Home wrecker. Whore. Slut with no morals. At the time I couldn't really blame her, she had just lost her boyfriend and he was already in a relationship with another woman, I would be spitting feathers too, but now? Now she can rot in hell because _she _is the whore and the home wrecker, whatever has happened between them it is blatantly obvious that she is a vindictive bitch that will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

"My fucking head is killing me, why the hell did you let me drink so much!" That's it blame me you bastard. I just sit there still staring into space not even acknowledging his presence.

"Ana you listening to me?"

"Not by choice but I cant really drown you out"

"What's up with you? You didn't drink that much did you?" He's in the kitchen making a coffee and toast glaring at me like I have two heads. I'm never short with him.

"Nope I feel as fresh as a daisy"

"Then what is it?" I know I just have to come out with it but I can't. Not yet.

"Nothing I'm just tired, I'm gunna' go shower now you're done" I place my mug on the coffee table and wrap my robe around me tightly as I make my way to the bedroom. Shit this is hard. I don't even know where to start" _Why am I so bothered its not like I am the one texting my ex, why should I feel like the one in the wrong. _Just as I am stripping out of my pyjamas I hear my phone ringing in my bag. Rummaging through it I pull my phone out and see Kate's name flashing on the screen.

"Hello"

"Morning Steele, how's the patient?"

"Suffering I hope" I grumble

"What's he done? Snoring through the night was he?" If only that was it.

"Yeah something like that, What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you were up for lunch later?"

"Sure, what time?"

"I finish work at two so say half past? At the deli across the way?"

"Sounds good, see you then"

"Cool, you okay Ana? You sound a bit off?" I sigh heavily thinking of the right thing to say.

"I'm fine just didn't really sleep great last night. I'll see you later okay?"

"Sure thing, Bye"

I click the phone off and toss it on the bed, seeing Kate will do me good. She always knows what to say to in these sort of situations. Not that I have ever been in this sort of situation before. I know she will set me straight and tell me what the right thing to do is. This whole thing just sucks, my life just sucks. After my shower I dress in jeans, a cream off the shoulder jumper and brown leather knee length boots. I style my hair into a messy fishtail braid and pull it to the side. There that will do.

I find Brody sat at the breakfast bar with his head in his hands, he looks like shit. Good.

"I'm going out" He lifts his head and looks over at me.

"Where?" Like he has a right to know where I spend my time and who with.

"Just out"

"What's up with you? You've been in a mood all morning"

"Don't start"

"Don't start what?! I'm just asking you a question"

"Well I don't want to talk to you so shut up!" I grab my leather jacket off the hook and pull it on. Brody snorts and shakes his head.

"Look I don't know if you've got your period or something but cut the attitude with me Ana its seriously starting to piss me off" That does it.

"Got my fucking period! Fuck you you asshole it's nothing to do with my period it's to do with the fact that I have a lying sleaze for a boyfriend!" He snaps his head up with eyes wide as saucers not quite believing what I just said. To be honest neither can I.

"What did you just say to me?"

"Where were you Thursday night?"

"What?"

"You heard me, where were you? You told me you were working late?"

"Why you asking me then if you already know where I was?"

"Don't be a fucking smart ass with me just answer the question" I take a step closer and straighten my shoulders.

"I told you where I was I was working!"

"Really? You one hundred percent sure about that?"

"Ana cut it out what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"See I don't believe you were working, unless you call meeting your ex girlfriend work" His face falls and he turns white as a sheet, his mouth gapes open slightly and he goes to say something but then closes his mouth again.

"What's the matter baby, cat got your tongue?"

"What are you talking about I wasn't with her" I drop my fist from my hip and brace myself on the back of the couch with the palms of my hands.

"Don't lie to me Brody I saw the text"

"What text?"

"Your phone fell from your pocket last night as I was picking your clothes up off the floor, I saw the text on your screen from her. Thanking you for coming to see her and saying what would she do without you" I can hear the venom in my own voice as I spit out the last part.

"You read through my phone?"

"Don't turn this on me you dick I was putting your drunk ass to bed when your phone dropped, I didn't read it the text was already on the home screen! Care to fucking explain?!"

He takes a deep breath and sits on the bar stool, twisting his fingers.

"It's not what you think"

"What do I think?" I spit out

"Probably that I'm sleeping with her, when I'm not" I don't say anything I just wait for him to continue.

"She called me Thursday afternoon in floods of tears telling me she needed to see me, I wasn't even going to answer her call but after the tenth time she tried I got pissed off and answered it, screaming at her asking what she wanted" Again I don't say anything.

"Like I said she was crying and it took at least five minutes for her to even get a word out, she told me that her Dad had came to see her. You remember what I told you about her dad right?" I nod slightly. Brody told me he was a lowlife alcoholic that used to hit Evie and her Mom around when she was younger, One day he just packed up and left and they never saw him again.

"She said he forced his way into her apartment off his face demanding money from her, she threatened to call the police if he didn't leave but he just laughed and started smashing things up telling her the next thing he would smash would be her face if she didn't give him what he wanted. In the end she told him she would meet him the next day and that she would have the money with her, she just wanted him out"

"That's really terrible and everything but what the fuck has that got to do with you? Why didn't she call someone else in her hour of need?"

"Ana we were together for a long time and I'm the only one that knows everything that went on when she was a kid, she hasn't got anyone else"

"So what you went round there like the knight in shining fucking armour that you are I suppose"

He gets up and walks over to me trying to touch my arm but I back away. I want none of it.

"Baby please I just went to check she was okay, I wasn't even there half an hour I swear"

"That's not the point, the fact is you went round there behind my back! You played right into her hands"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh don't be so dense Brody as soon as she clicks her fingers you go running to her, Evie 1 Ana Nil"

"Ana this isn't a game, the girl was genuinely in a mess I was just trying to do the right thing"

I shake my head and fold my arms against my chest. "So what happened when you were there"

"I literally walked in her place and asked if she was okay, got her a drink cause she looked like she had seen a ghost, listened to what she had to tell me then left. I told her to call the police and not let him get away with it, stop running from him and let him get what he finally deserves this time"

"That's it?"

"That's it"

"So she didn't try anything then? Like make a move?" As soon as I say this I see his expression falter, he quickly tries to recover but its too late I saw it.

"No of course not"

"Are you lying to me?"

"Baby plea" I cut him off with my hand

"Don't baby me! Tell. Me. The. Truth!" He rubs his neck with the back of his hand and takes a step backwards.

"Okay she tried to kiss me but I pushed her off I swear" I knew it! I fucking knew it! I turn on my heel and make a beeline for the door but he stops me grabbing my arm and yanking me back.

"Ana you have to believe that I didn't kiss her back, I swear I pushed her away and left"

"Don't touch me! You lied to me Brody! First you go to see her behind my back and then you try to cover up the fact that she comes on to you?! I cant even bare to be around you right now"

"Ana please don't leave we have to talk this through"

"No we don't, I'm going for a walk and then for lunch with Kate. _You_ need to stay the hell away from me" I grab my bag and leave the apartment slamming the door behind me before he has a chance to stop me.

I can't stop the tears from forming in my eyes as I make my way through the complex lobby and out the door. As I climb in to my Mini Cooper I rest my head against the steering wheel and just cry. I cry until I can't anymore. _He lied to me. _I wipe the smudged mascara away from eyes in the front mirror and rev the engine to life. Fuck going for a walk I need to drive around like a bat out of hell and blow off some steam. I have hours until I need to meet Kate so I use this a good excuse to get my hair done. Retail therapy is definitely a perfect cure for this kind of situation. I park my car and walk in to SEVEN. I love this place so much, Some salons you walk into and you feel like every stylist is looking down their noses at you, judging you on appearance and status. But not here, it might also have something to do with the fact that my best friend works here.

"Ana!" I turn just in time to catch Olivia as she grabs me in a vice like grip around the neck. Jeez I only saw her last night.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was just wondering if you had a spare slot to fit me in, I'm thinking of a blow dry?"

"I've always got time for my girl! Come on" She turns me around and pushes me by the shoulders to a chair in front of a wash basin plonking me down.

"So how do you think it went last night? Did you get on with everyone okay?" She asks as she wraps a towel around my shoulders and gathers my hair together.

"Oh yeah I don't know what I was so worried about" I scoff and relax my shoulders as she starts massaging my hair as she rinses it.

"All the guys were super sweet, especially Dylan"

"You do know he's married right Liv?"

She giggles "Yeah of course! I was just saying he was sweet god Ana doesn't mean I want to jump him!"

"Sorry babe"

"You okay?" That's my best friend for you, she always knows when something is wrong.

"Me and Brody had a fight"

"What about?" God I love the way she washes my hair, so firm yet gentle.

"Long story, but he basically went to see Evie on Thursday night"

"What?!" She shrieks so loud that everyone's attention turns to us.

"Shhh keep it down"

"Sorry, what the hell did he go to see her for?"

"He kind of explained but right now I don't care, I'm so pissed off and upset with him. I just cant believe he betrayed me like that"

"Sweetie I'm sorry, Look you know I have always loved Brody. I see how happy he makes you and I know he loves you more than anything in the world, but going to see your hideous bitch of an ex? What the hell is with that?" She tells me to sit up and starts towel drying my hair.

"God I don't know, She tried to kiss him" She pauses her movements and steps back to look me dead in the eye.

"He didn't?…"

"He says not. He said as soon as she did that he pushed her away and left"

"Do you believe him?" She leads me to a station and asks if I want anything taking off my ends but I shake my head.

"I don't know, I want to believe him I really do, but I never thought he would even go behind my back like that in the first place"

"Look Ana I can't tell you what to think or believe, you just need to go with your gut instinct and do what you feel is right"

As she powers up the hairdryer all I can think about is my 'gut instinct' and how it's telling me that Brody isn't quite being honest with me. I love him I really do, but why do I feel like the universe is screaming at me not to trust him. Even if he is telling the truth the damage has already been done right? I have doubted him and questioned his loyalty to me. If we haven't got trust what have we got?

**Christian's POV**

Fuck what a day! If I have to deal with one more brainless fucking idiot I will literally rip my hair out. Benson has just left my office with his tail between his legs, what numb nut comes into a presentation with no fucking presentation! Jesus I don't pay these assholes to sit around all day twiddling their thumbs. I thought he was a bright guy.

"Mr Grey?"

Fuck here we go again. I press the intercom button.

"Yes Andrea what is it?"

"I have a Mr Brody Williams here to see you Sir" Brody? Why would be Brody be here? I check my watch and see its just after three. He should be at work.

"Send him in Andrea"

I stand and straighten my jacket and adjust my cufflinks just as he walks trough the door. Well I say walk more like dragging his feet. He looks like shit.

"Hey man what's up?" He shakes my hand and sits down on the sofa resting his elbows on his knees.

"Am I interrupting anything? Are you busy?"

"Nothing that can't keep, You okay?" I take a seat next to him leaning back into the couch.

"Me and Ana had a fight" Just him mentioning her name makes my heart flutter and my stomach churn. But I quickly distract myself back to the here and now.

"What about? Was she pissed at you for getting so wasted?" I let out a chuckle when really I don't find anything funny. I'm just trying to act nonchalant.

"I wish. I fucked up man"

"What did you do?" He lifts his head and looks at me and I can see tears in his eyes. Shit I won't know what to do if he starts crying on me.

"I went to see Evie the other night" I'm dumbfounded. Actually fucking dumbfounded.

"What did you just say?"

"Look before you start giving me that look and lay into me about what a dumbass move that was I already know" I just stare at him not knowing quite what to say. Why would he go to see her? "She called me in a state needing help and I just had to go round there to check she was okay, her Dad came looking for her again and she was in a real mess Christian" Brody gave me a bit of info on her Dad, a real bastard by all accounst but still. She pulls out that card and he falls for it?

"But why go round there Brody? She's not your concern anymore"

"We might not be together anymore Christian but I'm not a heartless bastard, she has no one else" I let out a breath and walk over to the window.

"How did Ana take it?" I hear him snort and let out a frustrated chuckle.

"Not great as you can imagine, she stormed out the apartment this morning and I haven't heard anything from her since, she wont take my calls"

"Fuck Brody are you surprised, I would be seriously pissed at you too" There I am telling Ana that there's nothing between them anymore and that Brody moved on years ago when the stupid dick is going round to see her giving her a shoulder to cry on. Little does Brody know that this revelation will have shot Ana's insecurities even further through the roof.

"Shit Christian what do I do?" I honestly don't know what to tell him, he's fucked up and he knows it. He has got the most perfect girlfriend at home and he feels the need to spend time with the wicked witch of the West. _Yeah she is perfect, and beautiful, and funny, and sexy, and adorable…Shit I'm doing it again_

"Just go home and wait for her. Lay all your cards out on the table and be honest, no more lies"

He nods and stands, that's when I notice he isn't even in his work clothes. He obviously couldn't face going in.

"Thanks man, I really appreciate you listening to me. I don't know what I would do without you sometimes" He shakes my hand and pats me on the back before leaving my office.

_Yeah I'm such a good fucking friend, that's why I went home last night and got myself off picturing your girlfriend under me screaming my name._

**Anastasia's POV**

I walk into my apartment later that night, Kate and I decided to go on for drinks after lunch and before I knew it it was gone 10pm. I slowly open the door and creep in not really sure what I'm in store for. Brody has been phoning me all day and night and I have ignored every single call. I was too angry and wired to talk to him, if I answered the phone I just knew I would make things worse.

"Hey you're back" I walk into the living area as he stands from the couch handing me a glass of wine, I hesitate at first but then I take it and sit in the arm chair next to him, I'm not ready for the closeness yet. I'm still pissed.

"Baby I'm so sorry, I know I fucked up so bad by going to see her and you cant even begin to understand how much I regret it" I don't say anything. I just keep my eyes downcast looking into my wine glass, I don't really know what he expects me to say.

"I get that your still mad at me, and I don't blame you. I would become unglued if I knew you had gone to see Adam, or Aston or whatever his name was"

"Alex"

"Alex, whatever I don't care, I'm just saying that I understand and I will keep my distance from you if that's what you want" He looks so sad, I fucking hate when he looks at me like that with those big puppy dog eyes. I don't think he does it purposely but still it gets to me.

"Brody I don't want to argue like this, but you have to understand you can't treat me like this its not right. I wont be lied to and disrespected that's not who I am" I'm still so angry but how long can I carry on like this for realistically?, I have come to the conclusion that if he says he didn't kiss her then I have to believe him. "If you ever pull a stunt like this again I will cut your balls off do you get it"

He snaps his head up not quite believing that I am willing to let this drop. I have to be mature about this. "I promise I won't do anything to hurt you again baby I promise"

I take a deep breath. "Okay"

He grins like a Cheshire cat and leaps up pulling me by the arms spilling my wine in the process, enfolding me in a tight embrace.

"I love you so much Ana I will never let you down again" He whispers in my ear as he nuzzles my hair.

"I know"

**Christian's POV**

It's gone 12am when I arrive back to my apartment, that workout with Claude was intense. I needed to blow off some steam I have felt nothing but fucking wound up all day. Taylor informed me in the elevator on the way up that Macy turned up here again today wanting to speak to me. Fuck she just won't get the message. Her and I had a bit of a thing a few weeks back but now she wont stop calling and texting and being a general pain in my ass. All we did was fuck a few times and she has turned into Seattle's number one bunny boiler, sweet girl nice body but fuck could she talk, after we had sex she would just want to lay and snuggle when all I wanted was to get her the hell out so I could sleep. Rule number one, never let them stay the night. They automatically take that to the heart and convince themselves that the next step is marriage. Not in this lifetime Sweetheart.

"If she shows up again get a restraining order on her, attention like that isn't good for me the press will be catching on and before we know it they will be making a big fucking deal out of nothing" The last thing I need is my mother breathing down my neck thinking I have a girlfriend.

"Yes Sir" Taylor nods and heads off to his office, to make a start on what I presume will be Macy's restraining order. We both know she will show again.

I reheat whatever Gail has left for me in the fridge and just as I am about to eat I hear my brother's fucking voice coming from the great room.

"Any of that for me Bro I am famished"

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Well that's a nice greeting for your big brother isn't it" He goes to steal my fork but I smack his hand away "Fuck okay I get it, Little Cwissy is hungry and doesn't like to share"

"Seriously Elliot what do you want, I'm not in the mood I have had the day from hell"

"When do you not" He goes to the fridge and helps himself to a beer

"Hey dick if your gunna' steal my food and drink at least get me one" He smirks and hands me a bottle after ripping the cap off with his teeth and spitting it out somewhere to the right. Fucking animal.

"Where did you disappear to last night anyway?"

"I took Brody home remember"

"Yeah but I thought you at least might have come back after"

"I didn't see the point, besides I knew you would have been pre occupied with Little Miss Kavanagh" He grins and takes a swig of his beer.

"Damn straight I was, we went onto another club and I dragged her off to the bathroom and fucked her" Why does that not surprise me. My brother really doesn't have any standards.

"Fucking hell Elliot you could of at least took her to a hotel or something, a bathroom seriously"

"Don't judge me you bastard there wasn't any time for that, you should of seen her purposely grinding her ass in front of me and pretty much rubbing my dick every chance she got, I was snapping up the opportunity before she turned into the ice queen again"

"I really don't get you two"

"Don't worry neither do I…I just roll with the punches Brother, anyway that wasn't what I came to talk about, Did you get a text off Brody?"

"No why?"

"Him and Ana are having a dinner party tomorrow night and we're all invited?" Huh? Dinner fucking party? Since when? It was only a few hours ago they weren't even speaking.

"Why?"

"Why what? Why they having a dinner party?" I nod "Jeez I don't know Christian maybe because that's what normal people do, eat drink and socialise. It's called fun" Smart ass.

"I mean why now fuck face? Bit short notice to plan a dinner party don't you think?"

"Brody said Ana's wanted to do this for ages and now we've all met her why not now?" Still doesn't explain the them not talking all day part. Is it wrong that part of me didn't want them to make up? When Brody came to talk to me today I couldn't deny the small part of me that felt glad they were fighting, that maybe they're relationship wasn't so perfect after all. _Fuck I am such a shit friend. How can I feel like this about my best friends girlfriend? I seriously have to stop this before I do something I know I'm going to regret._

"So you coming?"

"Huh what?

Elliot rolls his eyes at me. I fucking hate when he does that. "Are you coming to Brody and Ana's tomorrow night?"

"Yeah sure I'll be there"

"Good, and bring one of your decent bottles of juice will you, if we rely on Blake and Dylan it will be that fucking flat shit they call beer all night" I nod slightly and play with the rest of the food on my plate. All I can think about is tomorrow night and the fact that I'm going to see Ana again. Shit I have to get my act together, from now on she is just my best friend's girlfriend and that's it. _Easier said then done._

**A/N - So they may have kissed and made up but for how long for? Next chapter - The dinner party.**

**I plan to update this story as often as I can. I plan on getting at least a chapter out every 1-2 days but I know how ambitious that is whilst working all the time! So I just do my best.**

**I do love your reviews!**

**MrsCTG x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Awkward Dinner Parties**

**Anastasia's POV**

"Please Kate promise me you won't make a scene" I'm balancing the phone between my ear and my shoulder and adding the final touches to the goat's cheese and rocket salad whilst I try and convince my best friend to arrive on her best behaviour tonight. Kate was pissed when I explained the whole Brody and Evie situation, I actually had to stop her from making her way over here and murdering him at one point. She just didn't understand why Brody would do that to me when he knows how insecure I feel when it comes to his ex girlfriend, but there in lies the problem, He doesn't know of my insecurities because I have never shared them with him. Every time I would attempt to bring her up into conversation he would just clam up and refuse to talk about her, I get that talking about exes is hardly hearts and flowers but to me is it was always so important to know what she was like during their relationship. I basically didn't want to make the same mistakes that she did.

"I will try my best Ana but I don't know how I am going to be able to sit there across from him at a table all night and hold my tongue, he was a complete asshole"

"I know that but try Kate please, I'm trying to get past this and I really need you on my side. For me please"

I hear her sigh heavily and I know I've got her "Okay! But only because I know what tonight means to you and I don't want to be the one to ruin it"

"Thank you, So what time are you coming over?"

"It will be about an hour or so, I'm picking Liv up on the way"

"Okay well see you soon then"

"Laters Steele" I remove the phone from my shoulder grip and place the salad in a large serving bowl and place in the fridge. In all honesty I don't know why I am doing this. The last thing I really want to be doing is sat around a table with all of our friends pretending that everything is normal when in reality it's so far from it. After Brody and I made up I soon made the decision that the dinner party would go ahead tonight, I think I was trying to distract myself and take my mind off of the fact that my boyfriend betrayed my trust, I needed something to focus on. Even though I had technically forgiven him I knew I was still giving him the cold shoulder, once we got into bed that night he tried to initiate sex straight away but I just couldn't bring myself to respond. We've always been a sexually active couple and rarely go more than a day without each other, physical attraction has always been strong between us right from that first day in Nordstrom. So I know he was shocked when I brushed him off telling him that I was tired. He knows that even when I'm tired, grumpy, angry or as sick as a dog I'm always ready for sex and rarely ever say no. But to me we're not there yet, _I'm _not there yet.

"Brody!"

"What babe?" He comes through into the kitchen area and leans against the side of the counter with his arms folded against his chest.

"Can you do me a favour and lay the dining table for me please?" I'm reaching into one of the overhead units trying to reach for the wine glasses when I feel him come up behind me sliding his arms around my waist and moving my hair across to my other shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you" He whispers heavily in my ear before leaving hot open mouthed kisses along my shoulder blade all the way up to the column of my neck and then back again.

"Brody stop it everyone will be here soon and we're still not ready"

"I want you" Damn it! I'm still so angry at him and hurt but I cant deny the fact that my body wants him. As his kisses start to get more intense I can feel his breathing quicken and my body starts to relax into him. I lean back and close my eyes as I feel his hand move lower to the button of my jeans, as he pops it open my hand flies to his and I go to stop him, am I ready for this?

"Come on baby, I know you want me just as much as I want you" He spins me round and pushes my hard against the counter making me yelp out before he silences me with his lips, my hands automatically come up against his chest as a form of self defence as he fists my hair and yanks it hard angling my head so he can shove his tongue in further all the while groping every inch of skin he can possibly find. What the hell has gotten into him? There's something desperate in his movements, like he's trying to shake something out of his mind and I soon have an uneasy feeling wash over me, filling with me with fear and it is like someone has thrown an ice cold bucket over my libido, effectively quashing any desire and arousal I was slowly starting to feel.

"Brody hold on a minute" I mumble against his mouth but he doesn't hear me. It's like he can't hear me. He pulls back and rips open my blouse sending the buttons in every direction possible of the kitchen before returning his lips to mine with such force that I know they will bruise. He reaches behind and grips the back of my thighs lifting me onto the edge of the counter.

"Brody stop!" Again he's not listening to me. If anything his movements are getting faster and more frantic. One of his hands moves from my hair to my jaw holding it in a vice grip so I cant even move my head or detach my lips from his, his other hand fumbles on his own zipper before he can finally push his jeans down past his hips, I use this as a chance and use all my strength to push against his chest. I push and I struggle against his hold but its no use. He has closed off from me altogether and all he can think about is getting what he wants, and right now he wants to claim me.

"Brody I said stop!" I bring my knee up and hit as hard into his crotch as I can making him fall backwards into the opposite counter with a groan. I quickly pull together what's left of my shirt and cover myself with shaking hands immediately not wanting him to see me, I try and regulate my breathing and when I look up I'm met with his dark eyes that are filled with fury, not remorse or regret but fury.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I jump of the counter and scream in his face, now realising the severity of what just happened here. He has never been rough with me like that before, he has always respected me and never once forced himself onto me like that. His chest is heaving and I see his nostrils start to flare as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"What's wrong with me? More like what is wrong with you! What the hell has gotten into you!" He's blaming me? Seriously? He acts like a complete caveman and disrespects me to the point that I feel sickened and he is blaming me?

"You just acted like a complete fucking asshole and your not even sorry!" He takes a step closer and I take a step back. For the first time I feel afraid of my own boyfriend.

"Well excuse fucking me for wanting to have sex with my girlfriend, I didn't realise it was such a crime" His voice is barely above a whisper but it is dripping with sarcasm and contempt.

"Seriously Brody what is going on with you? I don't even recognise you right now" I hear my voice crack on the last part of that sentence and I know I am close to tears.

"Well maybe I don't recognise you either, You're acting so cold and I don't know when your planning on snapping out of this mood you have going on Ana but it better be soon because I'm getting sick and fucking tired of it"

"So you just expect me to just be okay with the fact that you betrayed me Brody? I'm yelling and I can't stop the tears rolling down my face.

"Nothing happened Ana you seriously need to get over it" I can't believe he just said that to me.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, this is getting old and quite frankly I've had enough of walking on eggshells around you waiting for you to throw it back in my face again, I've apologised what more do you want?"

"What I want is for you to not treat me like shit and lie to me! Is that so much to ask for?"

"And is it so much to ask for to be able to sleep when my girlfriend when I damn well please? Seriously Ana cut this shit out!" He opens the drawer and pulls out the cutlery before slamming it shut again.

"Where are you going?!"

"To set the fucking table just like you asked me to!" As soon as he leaves the kitchen I feel the tears leave my eyes in waves, I place my hand over my mouth to stop the sob from leaving my mouth but it's futile. I can't believe he just spoke to me like that, he has never spoken to me like that before. All I could see in his eyes was anger and disappointment. Why is he so mad at me? If anything he should be walking over hot coals to be making this up to me, he said he would never let me down again. He promised.

I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath, there is no way I am going to cry over that bastard tonight. If he thinks he can just click his fingers and I will drop my knickers for him he's got another fucking thing coming, I'm his girlfriend not his whore.

I make my way to the bedroom and pull what's left of my clothes off before slipping my robe on, I reapply my make up but make it slightly heavier this time, I plug in my heated curling barrel and go to my closet to find something to wear, what the hell do you wear for something like this anyway? I know for a fact Kate and Olivia will dress up, hell any excuse for them to glam up and they take it. I decide to go for my black skater dress with mid length sleeves, I love how this dress hugs my figure its so sexy but so demure all at the same time. I pair it with some thick black tights and my dark purple pumps. Hmm I think that will suffice.

As I'm curling the ends of my hair I hear Brody storm into the bedroom and walk into his walk in closet. So he's still sulking. Tough shit.

He comes into the bathroom in just his boxers and starts the shower up giving me a dirty look through the mirror as he goes, well that's mature.

"You need to hurry up everyone will be here soon" He just mutters something under his breath and gets into the shower not even bothering to give me a reply. Well this is going to be a fun night.

Dylan and Blake are the first to arrive both carrying a case of alcohol. Christ how much do they think we will be drinking tonight? I'm at work in the morning.

"Ana you look beautiful as always" Blake kisses both my cheeks and then my hand.

"And you are as charming as always" I grin at him as he gives me that cheeky little smirk.

"Where's Brody?" Dylan whips his head around trying to look for him as I take their coats and hang them up.

"He's just changing he will be out in the minute" I personally wouldn't care if he stayed wholed up in our bedroom all night but I know I have to play nice.

"Come through guys and I'll fix you a drink, beer or wine?"

"Beer please" They both answer in unison.

As I make my way to the kitchen I hear the door bell sound and I go to answer it. As I open it I feel like all the breath leaves my body.

**Christian's POV**

I get out of the SUV and tell Taylor to wait for a text telling him a time to come pick me up. Not forgetting the bottle of wine I make my way inside and up to Brody and Ana's floor. I really don't know how I'm going to play it tonight, I know I have to get this crush I have for Ana out of my head and now. Brody is my best friend and this is his girlfriend, I'm fantasising about his girlfriend for fucks sake it's just utterly ridiculous, I'm hoping she wears something disgusting tonight so I can't see the curves of her amazing body. Who am I kidding though, she would look fucking perfect in anything that she wears. She is one of those women that can just pull off anything and look beautiful. I know why Brody couldn't resist her. Who would be able to resist her.

I take a deep breath and ring their doorbell, after what feels like an agonising wait the door opens and in front of me stands Anastasia. _Fuck me fucking sideways_ she looks so gorgeous I can hardly breathe, she's wearing this amazing dress that shows off every single curve of her delectable body. Jesus when I think she can't possibly become any more beautiful she proves me wrong.

"Christian? Are you alright?" That's when I realise that I'm just stood there staring, Fuck I hope she didn't catch me checking her out. I can't help but notice she looks a little breathless herself, she has this adorable flush to her cheeks and I see her blow a tiny bit of hair out of her face. _Those lips…_

"Sorry yes, I just zoned out there for a minute. How are you?" She holds the door wide open for me and I step in bending down to kiss her cheek, She's so soft and smells so good.

"I'm fine how are you? Would you like a drink?" I look over and see Dylan and Blake already seated on the couch.

"Yes please, here this is for you" I hand her the bottle and she takes it with a sexy smirk playing her lips.

"Sancerre, excellent taste in wine too I see, you are full of surprises" What else does she consider me to have excellent taste in?

"Take a seat and I'll bring you a glass" She turns and walks away sashaying those hips as she goes, Fuck look at that ass.

"Hey Christian you okay man" Dylan holds his hand up and I take it giving it a firm handshake, repeating the gesture with Blake

"Where's Megan? I thought she was coming tonight?"

"She was but then she started to feel like shit this afternoon, this pregnancy is kicking her ass big time, she's only just got over the morning sickness but still feels tired all the time. I give her till ten before she's curled up in bed" Rather him then me, it must be so stressful having your wife have to go through 9 months of that.

"That's too bad I know she wanted to meet the girls" Ana comes back in skilfully carrying two beer bottles and the glasses wine in each hand. Brody comes out of the bedroom with a face like thunder, he shakes all our hands but doesn't make any move to touch or communicate with Ana. In fact he sits as far away as he can from her and I also notice her not looking anywhere in his direction. What's all that about?

"What time are the girls and Elliot arriving?" Blake asks.

"Oh soon I think they are all coming together" Ana replies before taking a sip of her wine

"Who's betting that Elliot and Kate are getting a quick fuck in before they get here" Brody remarks with a smirk and I see Ana scoff and roll her eyes at him.

"Babe where's my beer?"

"You have legs don't you go get it yourself" She spits and he just sighs and makes a stand to the kitchen. Yep something is definatly up with them.

"Everything okay Ana?" I ask before I even realise what I'm saying. She looks up at me with that same sad expression she had the other night when we were talking about Evie. _Evie_ they are most probably still arguing over that fucking trollop.

"Fine and dandy" Her voice is dropping with sarcasm so I just drop it and talk about something else. Ten minutes later Kate, Elliot and Olivia arrive and we all move onto the table whilst Ana and Kate prepare the starters.

"Is everything okay with you and Ana?" I decide to ask Brody while Ana is out of the room.

"No not really, far from it in fact"

"I thought you two made up?" He snorts

"Yeah so did I but it looks like Ana has other ideas on that one" I can tell he wants to say more so I just wait for him to continue. He scoots closer to me and speaks quietly in my ear so everyone else cant hear.

"I've tried it on with her twice since we made up yesterday and she's not fucking having any of it"

"What do you mean?" I frown as I'm not sure I really want to know the answer to this question.

"Sex. She still won't have sex with me and I know its because she's still pissed at me but seriously? I'm used to having sex with her at least twice a day if not more. This just isn't cutting it" I feel sick, just the thought of them having sex makes my stomach turn and I want to throw up right now. This is seriously getting too much for me too handle but I know I have to push all that aside and act as normal around Brody as I can.

"Maybe she's just not ready, you know what women are like they can hold grudges forever"

"Fuck your telling me. I just don't know how much more I cam take of her acting like this before I snap" I love this kid to death. I really do but right now I want to ring his neck. He went behind his beautiful girlfriend's back to comfort Seattle's biggest gold digging bitch, hurting her feelings more than he could ever of imagined in the process and now he's ticked off because he can't get laid? Seriously?

"Just give her time man she will come around" I squeeze his shoulder and force a fake smile out.

The conversation flows throughout dinner despite Brody and Ana ignoring each other. The tension is palpable but everyone chooses to ignore it. Fuck can Ana cook a good damn meal, just another thing that makes her even more fucking perfect. I seriously want to shoot myself right now. Brody has been throwing back the drink all night. Again. You would think that he learnt his lesson after the other night but clearly not. I see Ana look over at him disapprovingly but chooses to keep quiet. She's really quiet and I catch her just staring into space every so often clearly debating with herself over something. What the fuck is Brody playing at? He's not helping matters by acting like a complete fuck head over this. He was a broken man when he came to my office yesterday and now he is acting like the worlds biggest douche.

"So Ana tells me you've been a complete asshole lately Brody" Kate says like she's asking about the weather making Ana's head snap up and bringing her out of whatever planet she was on.

"Kate!" She hisses but Kate doesn't even look in her direction she just glares at Brody who is glaring right back

"Oh really? And what exactly did Ana say?" Everyone just sits in silence waiting for the blow up which I know will be any minute now.

"Oh just that you went to see that little whore behind her back, completely betraying her trust and breaking her heart in the process, ring any bells?" I'll give it to Kate she doesn't beat around the bush. Ana drops her head in her hands and sighs while Olivia goes to rub her back.

"So why did you do it Brody hmm? Why did you hurt your girlfriend like that just to make sure that your bitch of an ex was okay?" Dylan glares at Brody and for a minute I think that he might get up and sock him one. Dylan has never hid the fact that he despises Evie with every fibre of his being. At one point it was so bad between Brody and Evie that Dylan gave Brody and ultimatum. Her or his friends? Naturally Brody chose Evie and told Dylan to stay out of his life, that lasted about a week. Brody soon realised what a colossal mistake that was, she was never worth losing his best friends for. Another reason as to why he should never of gone to see her in the first place.

"You went to see her?" Dylan spits out

"Don't fucking start Dylan alright" Brody shoots right back and takes a swig of wine not even bothering to answer either question.

"Kate please I told you not to mention this" Ana lifts her head up and again that sad expression is written all over her face.

"Did you? Or did you want her to mention this to make me look like a dick on purpose?" Brody stands and glares at Ana.

"No of course not you think I wanted this to happen?"

"It wouldn't fucking surprise me the way you have been acting lately"

"Hey! Don't you blame Ana you ass this is all you! You were the one that let her down"

"And don't I fucking know it!"

"I think we should all calm down" Olivia chimes in but no one is listening to her evidently.

"Do you know what I think Brody?! I think you want your cake and eat it that's the way you have always been! When you were with Evie you came onto Ana and now your with Ana you go back to her! Can't you just fucking decide who you want"

"Ana is who I want!"

"Yeah you've got a funny way of fucking showing it!"

"ENOUGH!" That was Ana

"Just shut up all of you! I am sick and fucking tired of this I cant take it anymore!" She stands from the table and speeds off to the bedroom so fast her chair falls backwards. The room falls silent and Brody and Kate are just staring at each other with such hate in their eyes.

"I think we should all go" Dylan, Blake, Olivia, Elliot and myself make a stand to leave but Kate just remains rooted in her spot.

"Kate come on you've done enough damage" Olivia says angrily at Kate whilst putting her coat on.

Finally Kate relents and moves away from her stand off with Brody.

"You gunna' be alright?" I don't know why I'm asking that, the dick deserves to get his ass chewed after what he has done.

"Yeah I will be fine you go I'll call you tomorrow"

Once outside Dylan grabs my arm. "Did you know about this?"

"What?"

"Brody meeting that skank?"

I huff "Yeah he came to my office and told me once Ana found out"

"What the fuck is he playing at?!"

"Fuck if I know Dyl he's fucked up majorly and he knows it"

"Not that much he doesn't after his performance tonight, does he not know what an angel he has got in Ana" She is the definition of an angel.

"They'll sort it out we just cant get involved"

That's when I realise I've left my jacket in their apartment. With my phone in the pocket. Shit.

"I'll catch up with you tomorrow I've left my jacket up there"

As I step off the elevator I hear shouting coming from Brody and Ana's apartment. I stand outside the door and can frankly hear every word.

"You are such a fucking asshole you completely humiliated me tonight!" That's Ana

"Me?! More like the other fucking way around! Why d'you have to go and tell Kate anyway you should of known that she would shoot her big mouth off!"

"That's it blame everyone else you fucking pig!"

"Do you know what, I've had enough of this shit I'm going out!"

"That's it run away, Run to Evie and get her to suck you're dick!"

"I might just fucking do that! Don't wait up!"

The door flies open and Brody storms out not even acknowledging my presence. He makes a bee line for the elevator and off he goes. I slowly creep inside the apartment as the door was left open slightly, I find Ana in the kitchen loading the dishwasher with such force I'm surprised they're not smashed into smithereens.

"Ana?" She startles slightly and looks in my direction stopping what she's doing

"Christian? What are you doing back?"

"I left my jacket"

She nods at me "So I'm guessing you heard all of that?" She lets out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Umm yeah I did, I'm sorry I would of left my jacket but it had my phone in it"

"No it's fine" She turns her back slightly and I see her shoulders start to shake slightly. Shit she's crying. I slowly make my way over to her and gently turn her around enfolding her in my arms. She's so small.

"Shhh don't cry, please don't cry" I have one arm at the small of her back and the other one stroking her hair as her sobs become more hysterical.

"I'm s..sorryyy!" She clutches to me tighter and just cries. She needs this, She needs to let it all out.

"It's okay don't apologise. Just breathe for me okay" I slowly pull back and cradle her soft face in my hands wiping away the huge tears that are falling from her eyes. I tell her to take deep breaths to calm herself down before she ends up hyperventilating. Her sobs slowly subside and she raises her eyes to meet mine. She continues to take deep breaths breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Eventually she calms but we remain clinging to each other looking into one another's eyes. She's so beautiful I can hardly breathe myself sometimes, her eyes are the most perfect shade of blue with pools of depth to them, I could just look into them all day. I hear her breathing catch as we remain locked in this embrace. Neither one of us wanting to let go. But I should let go, I should turn around right now and walk out this door. But I just cant…

"Thank you" She breathes out.

"You're welcome" Her lips part and I gently run my thumb across her plump lower lip. It's so soft. The tension between us radiates in waves the air getting hotter and thicker by the second coaxing us to do something that we really shouldn't think about doing. Her breathing quickens and I know mine is doing exactly the same thing, I glance down and see her chest rise and fall with the obvious arousal that she is feeling, the swell of her perfect breasts just crying out for attention. I slowly drag my thumb from her lip, down her chin and throat, ever so slowly until I reach her sternum. I flatten my palm against her chest and feel the rapid thump of her heartbeat. _Da dum da dum da dum da dum. _Her eyes flit downcast to where my hand lies and her heart beats even faster. She brings her eyes back to mine and places her hand over the top of mine, gently stroking it. Well fuck if that doesn't turn me on even more.

I bring my other hand up to rest at the side of her neck, circling her cheek with my thumb. I take a step closer and pull her flush against me, if I do this, If I cross this line things will change forever. I slowly lean in to her and she automatically raises her chin meeting me halfway, just as our lips are about to touch I look deep into her eyes looking for a sign that she doesn't want this. But I don't. Instead all I see is lust, pure carnal lust. I pull her face towards mine and crash my lips to hers, she moans slightly and opens her mouth granting my tongue access. Fuck she tastes so good. She moves her hands up my chest and slides them into my hair gripping tightly at the nape of my neck, I groan and our tongues move faster and faster our breathing becoming more and more laboured. I walk forwards slightly and push her against the edge of the counter and I know she can feel my evident erection because she grinds her hips into mine looking for much needed friction. God this feels so good…I never want to stop, But I know we have to. We have to stop.

"Ana…Ana we have to stop" I try and pull back but she just grips onto me tighter.

"No" She breathes and latches her lips straight onto mine again. Fuck.

"No Ana we seriously need to stop" I reach behind my neck and pull her hands away from my hair. Holding them in between our chests. She looks at me and it takes all of the power in me not to take her on this counter right here and right now.

"I'm sorry I never should of done that" I whisper as I rest my forehead against hers.

"No it's okay, I'm sorry that was all me" It really wasn't all her at all. We both wanted that kiss to happen.

"I should go"

"Okay" I lift my forehead and lightly kiss the end of her nose, lingering slightly as I feel her lean into my lips. I release her hands and step back, I grab my jacket and leave the apartment without looking back, I know if I look back I will never leave. And I have to leave.

Once I'm in the confines of the elevator I lean back against the railings and rub my hands over my face. _Fuck what did I just do?_ I have never felt anything as strong or as powerful as I have just felt while kissing Ana. Its like our bodies were meant for each other we mould into one so perfectly. And I know she felt the exact same way, I thought this was just me but now I know its not. But the reality of what I have done soon hits me. I just kissed my best friend's girlfriend, and I know if I didn't stop when I did we would of ended up sleeping together right there in the kitchen. I know Brody has been behaving like a complete dick lately but I know just how much he loves her, I will never forget when he first told me he had met the girl of his dreams, I knew he was smitten instantly and that this girl was the one for him. Now I'm just scared that she's also the one for me.

**A/N - Happy Holidays everyone!**

**So there we have it their first kiss! Things will gradually start to hot up from now on but still not as fast as I know you all want. The next update should be tomorrow night. I'm a full time Mommy though so I can never promise but I will do my best.**

**I do love your reviews!**

**MrsCTG x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - What Just Happened?**

**Brody's POV**

I should never of left like that, I should never of spoken to her the way I did, I shouldn't even be in this situation. But here I am. And now I'm sat at this seedy bar downing my sorrows alone while my girlfriend is most probably crying herself to sleep. _I'm such an ass. _This has all got so crazy and ridiculous and I am sick and tired of having the same argument again and again with Ana. I have never seen her act so cold and distant with me, well with anyone but especially with me, I know I did this but I have apologised over and over till I am blue in the face, and to top of it off Kate is on my back and I know Dylan will want to drop me on my head next time I see him, he hates Evie more than I thought was humanly possible and for him to now know I was in contact with her again, well let's just say I am more than in the shit.

"Well well, I knew it wouldn't be long for you to get in touch with me again" I turn my head and there she is. Evie Davis. My ex girlfriend.

"Sit" I don't bother being polite I just want to get to the point. She perches herself on the stool next to me crossing her legs making sure her skirt rides up a few inches. Here we go.

"I can't say I was surprised when I got your phone call Brody, I knew it would only be a matter of time before you did" She smirks seductively at me then bites her lip, I cant help but think of the way Ana bites her lip when she does that.

"Look Evie I didn't call you here for that"

"And what would that be?" Oh so this how she wants to play it. Little Miss innocent act.

"You know what Evie, I need you to do something for me" She raises her eyebrow at me.

"I need you to go and see Ana and tell her that nothing happened between us the other night"

"Excuse me?" She opens her mouth slightly agape and her eyes widen.

"You heard me, She knows that I came to see you but she doesn't believe nothing happened between us"

"Oh but it did" I close my eyes and throw the rest of my bourbon back before signalling the waiter to get me another one.

"Evie stop it"

"Why are you trying to deny it Brody, you kissed me"

"No you kissed me, you just took me by surprise that was all"

She scoffs "Don't pretend you didn't feel it Brody, you started to kiss me back and you kno…" I cut her off with my hand. I don't want to hear this.

"You're reading too much into it, I was just shocked, but I soon came to my senses" She just looks at me. The truth is for a moment I did start to kiss her back. Just for a split second I wanted it, she's not stupid she knows that I did and this is why she came here tonight looking like this, short skirt with killer heels and her breasts spilling out of her top. She thinks I'm close to the edge and that I will go home with her. But I can't, not now. I know what a colossal mistake it would have been if I slept with Evie that night. I would of lost Ana forever and that's not something that I can even comprehend. Hell I think I'm starting to lose her now, that's why I need to fix this.

"Evie please stop playing games, I love Ana. I want Ana" She reaches over and places her hand on top of mine, lightly tracing one long painted fingernail over my wrist.

"When are you going to finally be honest with yourself Brody? You might think you're happy with Little Miss perfect but we both know you're not, she can't make you happy like I can. You know it and I know it" I grab her wrist with force and I know I have hurt her by her sharp intake of breath but I don't give a fuck.

"That is where you're wrong. Listen to me and listen to me good, I LOVE Ana, not you, Ana, she makes me more happier then you ever could of made me and that is the truth, you manipulated me and lied to me to get what you wanted throughout our whole relationship and you think I would give up what I have with my beautiful girlfriend to go through that again? Dream on Evie we will _never _be together again. She's everything that you're not, she's kind and special and caring, and to top it all off we actually have an honest relationship" I have her wrist in a vice like grip and I know I am right in her face whispering venomously through gritted teeth. She lifts her eyes to mine and lets out a sarcastic chuckle that sends chills down my spine.

"Yeah cause you are so honest with her aren't you Brody, that's why you're sat here with me instead of being at home with her. How do you think your precious Ana will react when she finds out that you've been with me again" That evil smirk that I know so well makes it way onto her lips and I drop her wrist like a hot burning coal. I have fucked up. Again. She takes her wrist in her hand and starts to rub around the area that I know will bruise. I stand up and walk out of the bar so fast without even turning back to look at her. Once the air hits my face I take a deep breath and breathe it in. _How could I have been so stupid?_ I have played right into her hands and she knows it, If Ana finds out I contacted her again even though I was trying to fix this, she will leave my ass and never come back. I can't believe I did this again. I have the most amazing girlfriend a man could wish for and I'm acting like the worlds biggest fuck head that ever lived. I need to get home to her now.

**Anastasia's POV**

It's been two days since the dinner party, two days since me and Brody had the argument from hell and two days since that kiss. I can't get it out of my head. I can't get _him _out of my head no matter how hard I try. Every time I close my eyes all I see, taste and hear is him, the way it felt to have him pressed up against me and how I never wanted him to stop. I knew it was wrong, as soon as he placed his hands on my face and held me I knew right there and then where it was going to go, I could have stopped him. I could have told him to leave and never touch me again, screaming at him for betraying his best friend like that, But did I? No. I was so far gone I was powerless to resist him. Thank the lord he came to his senses because if he didn't I never would have stopped. I laid in bed awake for hours that night, thinking about what it meant and why it happened. I have found Christian attractive from the very first moment I saw him but I have found a lot of men attractive, It doesn't mean I go sticking my tongue down their throats at every given opportunity. Why is he so different and why does he consume my every waking thought? Brody came home hours later and climbed into bed with me immediately pulling me in to his arms gripping me tight like he thought I would disappear right in front of his eyes. When I felt his chest shudder and his tears hit my face my whole body stiffened and I couldn't react to his embrace not even to soothe him. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had just cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend. Okay it was only a kiss and it didn't go any further than that but _I wanted it to. God more than anything did I want it to. _I felt my tummy roil and all I wanted to do was wriggle free from his hold and empty the contents of my stomach down the toilet but I couldn't, he was gripping me tighter than I have ever felt him before all the while whispering how sorry he was and how he has been acting like a complete and utter bastard to me, he kept repeating it over and over again and all I could do was remain silent. The hypocrisy of this situation made my head spin and I had never felt more of a terrible person than I did right there and then in that moment. I accused my boyfriend of cheating on me only to go and do the same thing. I am an awful disgusting person and I knew then that I had to stay away from Christian. I couldn't be put in a situation like that again, what we did was wrong on more levels that I can count and it can never happen again.

"Hello earth to Ana" I snap out of my reverie to Kate clicking her fingers in front of my face repeatedly.

"Huh what? What were you saying?"

"That is the forth time today you have zoned out on me, what is up?"

"Nothing's up, I'm just fed up. Today is dragging don't you think it's dragging?" I can't lie to save my life and I know Kate doesn't believe me.

"No more than usual, but you look really pale are you sure your okay?" God Kate give it up! I turn into a mumbling mess when she looks at me like she is right now and demanding answers from me.

"Yes honestly I'm fine, I'm gunna' take these returns into the store room and price them up" I can feel her eyes on me as I grab a handful of clothes and walk across to the other side of the store, Kate is the only person that can read me like a book and it frustrates the ever living shit out of me. But she's right I know I have been drifting off into space thinking about the ridiculous predicament that I have got myself into. I have to snap out of it, Brody still thinks I am angry with him because I have been so quiet, after he came home and broke down like that in front of me I knew I had to draw a line under all of this once and for all before too much damage was done. _Right focus Ana _I take a deep breath and get stuck into these returns that make my brain numb with boredom.

I emerge 2 hours later and make my way back to my counter, It's so ridiculously quiet in here today all I want to do is rip my hair out and scream from the top of my lungs.

"Hmm I will have to check with Ana first see what she wants to do" Check with me what? And what is she doing on her phone whilst right bang in the middle of the floor? Christ if our supervisor sees her she will have her ass. I stand next to her and look at her expectantly waiting for her to give me a signal as to who she is talking to, she just stands there twiddling the ends of her hair in between her fingers giggling like a school girl.

"Oh hang on she's here right now" She takes the phone from her and covers the speaker with her hand. "Tonight, you me and Liv out for drinks?" That is the last thing I want to do right now.

"Umm I'm not so sure, I think me and Brody are just having a quiet night in" She tilts her head to the side and looks at me as if to say _really? _

"Nice try Steele I already know that the boys are going out tonight Elliot's told me" Huh what since when? How come I didn't know about this and how come I am just finding out now through Kate? "So it's on, drinks and dancing?" She wiggles her hips to make her point and I can't help but giggle.

"Okay fine but I'm not making it a late one" I point my finger at her but she just laughs and shakes her head.

"We're on Liv, Yep…Yeah of course!…Okay…See you later" She hangs up "So 8'oclock tonight at Vessel and we have to look hot" Of course we do.

"Seriously Kate I just want a few drinks and then I'm going home, don't try and keep me out"

"Okay okay!" She holds her hands up in defence "I'm not that bad honestly"

"Have you met you?" She just sticks her tongue out at me making me giggle.

"Right cover for me I'm just going to phone Brody" I head to the staff quarters and dig through my locker trying to find my phone, once I have it I press the speed dial for Brody's number.

"Hey beautiful"

"Hey, why didn't you tell me you were going out tonight?"

"Sorry babe it was honestly a last minute thing, Blake phoned me an hour ago. I think it's so Dylan has an excuse to kick my ass over the other night to be honest"

"Who's going?" I ask when all I really care about is whether Christian is going or not. So much for not thinking about him.

"Ell, Dylan and Blake"

"What no Christian?" I try to ask as casually as I can.

"No not tonight, he's on a date" All the breath leaves my body in one full swoop.

"What?"

"Yeah apparently so according to Elliot, well I say a date he already knows her. He was dating her up until a few weeks ago. Well actually when I say dating it was more like casual sex every Saturday night kind of thing" He laughs but its all I can do not to throw up right here in the locker room. He's meeting with a woman that he used to fuck? Did that kiss between us mean nothing to him?

"How did that come about?" I try and keep my voice even but I know it cracked on that last sentence.

"Umm as far as I know he got in touch with her again a couple of days ago, rekindling old flames and all that. This is just what Elliot told me I haven't actually spoken to him in a while, I can't get through to him when I call him" Yeah babe that's because he was practically dry humping your girlfriend on your kitchen counter two days ago and now he's ignoring you. Which I know now clearly meant nothing.

"Right okay, well I will see you later then"

"Okay baby see you later, I wont be late home, I'm already dying to have your hot little body in my arms again" He all but groans through the phone and when that would usually reduce me to a puddle of mush on the floor, right now it just makes me feel sick. I don't know if its guilt or confusion that's making me feel this way but all I know is I hate this and I want it to stop. It's messing with my head and I can't think straight, and now on top of everything I have to deal with the fact that Christian is meeting another woman tonight? This just isn't happening.

**Christian's POV**

I'm sat here all but ready to gauge my own eyes out with this fork. Fuck was she always this irritating? All she has talked about for the past hour is herself and then some more about herself. Sure she's attractive but that's where her qualities end. I don't even know what I was thinking asking her out tonight, I can only take her in small doses and I have had more than my fair share right now. I know deep down I only asked Macy out to dinner to take my mind off of Ana when all it has done is make me think about her even more. I keep replaying the kiss over and over in my head and its driving me crazy, Brody has been calling and texting me continuously but I have ignored every single one. I cant face talking to him right now knowing what I did. I kissed his girlfriend when I am supposed to be one of the people that he can trust with his life. I know that Brody and Ana have made up through Elliot. He said they both realised what was at stake and agreed to put this behind them once and for all, that in itself makes me want to gag all over this table but I force myself to think about something else. They are making a go of their relationship and I have to do the right thing and stay away.

"Do you want to go back to my place?" She asks batting her lashes at me and placing her hand on my thigh.

"No"

She frowns at me and pouts her bottom lip. Does she think that's cute or something? "Why not, my room mate is out and no one will be there to interrupt us" Doesn't she realise that I have my own company and own my apartment? If I wanted to fuck her I would of just took her back to mine.

"I'm not in the mood" She's clearly not listening to me as she inches her hand up my thigh and moves her fingers around my crotch. I grab her wrist and drop her hand back in her lap.

"Cut that shit out it isn't happening"

"What's crawled up your ass? Why did you ask me out tonight just to be a dick?" She folds her arm like a petulant teenager and I want to laugh right in her face. Someone's getting a little antsy.

"Well I've just realised what a stupid mistake that was, I needed a distraction and since you have failed to provide with me that I think we should just leave"

"Christian? Fancy seeing you here" I would know that angelic voice anywhere, I turn my head and there she is. With a face like thunder.

**Anastasia's POV**

"Okay we'll grab a bite in here and then head onto somewhere else" We've just arrived at the Purple Café and Wine Bar to start our night out, I really just want to just go home and feel sorry for myself in bed but Kate and Olivia have other plans.

"Table for three please gorgeous" Kate winks at the waiter and he flushes ten shades of red. Poor boy she would eat him for breakfast. He leads us to a table in the far corner of the bar and I skim through the menu not really seeing anything I'm interested in at all, my stomach is flipping somersaults and my nerves are shot to shit, I swear Christian fucking Grey has turned my whole world on its head and put me off food in the process. All I keep thinking about is what he is doing right now with the little slut that he is on this date with. Not that I'm bothered he can fuck whoever he wants. As long as he keeps his distance from me that is.

"Hmm what to have? What are you girls having?"

"I think I'll have the salad" Seriously Kate we could of just had that at home.

"I'm not really bothered"

"What's up?"

"Nothings up I'm just not hungry. Can't we just go onto a bar and skip the food, they always take too long to serve in here we'll be here all night" I know I sound like a child but I cant help it. I'm on a night out that I don't want to be on, I am avoiding my boyfriend like the plague and I want to have sex with his best friend. Seriously this is my life?

"We don't have to eat if you don't want to sweetie, I'm not all that bothered either"

"What?! I could eat a scabby horse what are you talking about?! I roll my eyes.

"Kate you just said you wanted a salad, hardly a three course banquet now is it?"

"Jeez alright chill out we can just go on to the bar, where do you fancy?"

"Oooh I wanna' go Zig Zag's!" Olivia jumps up and down squealing like a school girl.

"Okay sounds good lets go" We stand and make our way to the entrance, on the way through I feel my heart skip a beat. _He's here. With that_. I see Christian at the other end of the bar sat a table with some blonde bimbo with absolutely no class whatsoever. Is that what he is into when he's not coming onto his friend's girlfriends? I feel bile rise in my throat when I see her lean forward and place her hand on what I can only presume is his dick, God what a slut she is in a public place has she no morals? I feel a bit of relief when I see Christian make no reaction in the slightest, he just removes her hand and places it back where it was leaving her looking crestfallen. _Good._

"Ana you coming?" Olivia and Kate are at the door waiting for me.

"Yeah you guys go on I'll meet you there, I'm just heading to the bathroom I don't feel too good"

"Hey I can come with you of you want?"

"No it's fine I'll be five minutes I promise" They look hesitant to leave me but eventually agree telling me to phone if I need anything. What I need is a hammer. To knock Christian's block off with. I slowly walk my way over to their table with my heart pounding ten to the dozen. Why am I doing this. I should just leave.

"Christian? Fancy seeing you here?" I sound a lot more confident than I feel. God I could be sick right here and now.

His head whips around and his eyes are wide as saucers. Fuck he looks good "Ana?! What are you doing here?"

"I was having dinner with the girls and saw you so I thought I should come and say hello" Yeah right, I just want a closer look at _this thing_. She's looking at me with a frown etched all over that caked up face full of make up. Christian looks green. _Yeah I bet you didn't expect to see me here did you buddy_

"Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Sorry. Ana this is Macy, Macy this is Ana" He pauses for a moment "My best friend's girlfriend" I reach over and hold my hand out to her. I don't really want to shake her hand but I have to carry on with this performance I decided to put on. "Pleasure to meet you Macy"

"Likewise" She doesn't want to be polite to me either, its like she knows why I have come over here. That's a woman's speciality, spotting the competition and staking your claim.

"Well I won't keep you from your dinner, I guess I'll see you around Christian"

"Oh don't worry you aren't keeping us, we were just about to leave actually. To get an early night" As she says this in that sickly sweet voice that makes my skin crawl she places her hand over Christian's and squeezes, this is her way of telling me to back off. I smirk right back_. He might be sat with you right now sweetheart but it was me he had pinned up against a counter with his tongue down my throat.. _

"Of course, it was great to meet you Macy, bye Christian" I turn on my heel and head out of the restaurant, intentionally swaying my hips more dramatically purely for that bitches benefit. Well maybe Christians as well. Once outside I take a moment to compose myself before heading in the opposite direction. But I don't get far.

"Ana!" I turn and see Christian making a bee line for me. Shit what does he want.

"What?"

"That's not what it looked like" He gestures back to the restaurant with his hand like I had forgotten what he was on about.

"And what would that be exactly?" I cock my hand on my hip and glare at him with narrowed eyes, I don't want him to think he has bothered me but I cant help but vent my anger at him.

"Her, Macy I mean. It was just dinner" I've never seen him looking so nervous before.

"Yeah and the rest Christian"

"Honestly I have no remote interest in her whatsoever. She was just a distraction" A distraction?

"A distraction from what exactly?"

He runs his hand through his hair and sighs heavily "You know what Ana"

"No I don't Christian! I haven't got a clue because I don't know what the fuck is going on here! Seriously this is ridiculous!"

"I'm trying my best to stay away from you Ana but your making it damn near impossible!"

"Me?! What the have I done wrong exactly?!" I know I'm yelling now as passing pedestrians are staring at us but I don't care.

"You just turn up here tonight and make a scene, looking like…That" He waves his arms in front of me and in my direction as I look down at my outfit trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with it.

"What's wrong with the way I look?" He tosses his head back and groans and damn if that sound didn't just make my panties wet.

"Seriously Ana? Do you not know how fucking amazing you look right now?" I can't help but smile at that, it's the first time he has actually complemented the way I look out loud and I would be lying if I said it didn't affect me.

"No I don't actually, why don't you tell me?" I cock my head to the side and purposely bite my lip and I see his eyes instantly darken.

"Don't do that"

"Do what?" I know I'm playing with fire flirting with him like this but I just cant help myself, when I'm around him all my inhibitions fly out of the window and all I can think about is him, all I see is him and all I want is him. He takes a step closer to me and raises his thumb to my lip gently pulling it from the grasp between my teeth.

"Bite your lip, you don't know what that does to me when you do that" He's looking into my eyes and I feel that same pull that I felt in my apartment when we kissed. Only this time its stronger, it's more passionate and it feels all the more dangerous.

"What does it do?" I say in a breathless whisper and he leans his forehead against mine. At this point I have completely forgotten that we're in public. I feel like we're in this bubble where it's just us knowing anyone can come and pop it at any moment.

"God Ana what are you doing to me?" He closes his eyes and I can feel his warm breath on my lips.

"I could say the same thing to you. Seriously Christian what is going on?" He takes a deep breath and pulls back leaving me feeling cold and bereft.

"I don't know, all I know is I am in deep and I don't know how to get out. Brody is my best friend Ana, he's more like a brother to me and I love the stupid idiot to death. Whatever this is has to stop before we hurt someone that we both love more than the world" I can't help the tears that roll down my face as he talks. He's feeling the exact same way as I am and it hurts. Really fucking hurts.

"We have to stay away from each other Ana, you know that don't you?" I wipe the tears away and nod. He's right. This is so wrong and someone is going to get hurt if we don't stop this now.

"I know. How are we gunna' do that though Christian? We mix in the same circles for god's sake its damn near impossible" This is the reality of the situation, its not like we can walk away tonight and never see each other again, we will bump into each other all the time.

"I know that, we just have to push whatever this is aside and think about Brody. After the fundraiser we can go back to just seeing each other when we all get together as a group. Its what's right"

"Fundraiser?" Then it hits me, Fuck I completely forgot about that. Christian is holding a charity event at his parent's house in Bellevue this weekend and we have all been invited to attend. Shit that will be awful. "Oh yeah I forgot about that"

He just nods "So we're agreed? We need to keep our distance?" All I can do is nod dejectedly and offer a forced half smile. What else is there to say?

"I'll let you get back to your date, Goodnight Christian" I turn around and walk away before he has the chance to reply. I can't stomach the idea of a night out after that coversation so I dig my phone out of my purse and type a quick text to Kate.

_I don't feel too well so I'm heading home. Have a good night. Sorry. A x_

I know I will get the third degree tomorrow but right now I don't care. I just want to go home. Once I'm in a cab I flop against the head rest and close my eyes. My throat feels like there is a golf ball lodged down it and my eyes sting with unshed tears, I cant cry. This is for the best, this is just a silly crush that we both have on each other and it will pass. I love Brody and he is my future.

The apartment is bathed in darkness as I arrive home, the only light coming from the stream of passing headlights outside and illuminated bar signs through the window. I head into my bedroom and see Brody in bed fast asleep. I muse to himself how early home he is, I think he is still trying to make up for the past few days but that just adds to my guilt and feelings of self disgust. I don't bother showering. I just strip my shorts and strapless top off and climb into bed. I don't even remove my make up. All of a sudden I just feel dog tired and want to sleep. Brody must feel my presence because he turns over and pulls my body into his chest, wrapping an arm around my waist and breathing in my scent from my hair. I know this is where I am supposed to be, We have plans together, a future together. Sure its too early for marriage and children but we have talked about it.

No this is right, we made the right decision.

_But if this decision was so right then why does it hurt this much…It shouldn't hurt this much…_

**A/N - So this was more of a filler chapter before I really get the ball rolling with the story. Let the fun begin ;)**

**MrsCTG x**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N - Another one for all you guys, I have a lot of chapters already pre written so it's a lot easier for me to update regularly.**

**All of your reviews have been so lovely and it really spurs me on to right more a lot faster.**

**DB84 - Cheating stories are a hard limit for me too! I don't condone cheating one bit but this is fan fiction so you can go crazy and venture out of your comfort zone, and I think where Ana and Christian are involved none of us mind it getting a bit hot and steamy between them do we haha! I would never write a story with them cheating on each other though that's just ludicrous to me that they would do that!**

**All8row - I know that you were all wanting me to have Brody cheat on Ana but it all adds to the drama I think! Brody isn't perfect and he did admit in the last chapter that he **_**wanted **_**to go further with Evie which to me is just as bad as doing the deed! There will be a lot of ups and downs throughout this story and it will be anything but smooth sailing (: **

**I love all of your reviews! And now on with the drama! (:**

**Chapter 7 - The Fundraiser - Part One**

**Anastasia's POV**

Okay. I now officially want to rip off my own head. We're shopping for dresses for Christian's charity event tonight and we're failing miserably. We've been at for hours and there is nothing that I like, I'm not the best shopper as it is but when you are trying on dress after dress there comes a point where anyone in their right mind would want to curl up in the corner and scream. Kate and Olivia on the other hand are in their element, seriously I have never met women that squeal as much as they do in my life, the first store we walked into they were bouncing around like children being told they were getting candy. Of course they have their dresses, that part was never hard they would look good dressed in garbage bags.

We're now in Neiman Marcus and my best friends are like demented women on a mission! They have split up and are scouring every single rail they can get their hands on determined to find me the perfect dress, I on the other hand am sat on a plush two seated couch near the changing rooms savouring the peace and quiet, finding something to wear is the last thing on my mind. I don't even want to go tonight it's just gunna' be torture. I haven't spoken to Christian since we agreed to keep our distance three days ago. Not one text or phone call or email. Just nothing. It's for the best though it's what we agreed, so why I have to spend a whole evening in his company is beyond me. Mingling with his friends, his associates even his family all the while acting like the dutiful girlfriend to Brody. _In other words I'm going to act like a fake bitch all night. _We're all heading down in a limo _courtesy of Christian _to Bellevue at 7 o'clock to be in time for the professional photographs in the grounds of the house, Brody said his parent's home is like something out of a film and I will be knocked for six when I see it. I can only imagine it is just as picturesque as described but I don't think that will be what knocks me for six tonight. I cant help but think what if he has a date with him? God what if it's that slut Macy? I hardly think he would invite his little fuck buddy to the social event of the year, where his photos will be splashed all over the Seattle Times. She's hardly a tasteful social butterfly now is she?

"Ana!" I'm brought back to the now by Kate's loud shrill. Jeez I thought she was at the other end of the store. "Oh my god this is the dress this is the dress!" I roll my eyes and reluctantly pull myself to my feet and go to find what hideous thing she has chosen for me this time. _Or maybe not…Wow that's gorgeous! _

"Oh my god Ana you have to try this on it is to die for!"

"Are you sure it isn't a little too much?"

"You can never have too much Ana! Go and try this on now before I take my dress back and swap it for this" Olivia pushes me towards the changing rooms whilst Kate chases behind practically skipping.

"Right come out as soon as you have it on, God I'm so excited!" Okay calm down Kate.

I pull the curtain across and pull my clothes off before stepping into the dress. Oh. My. Jesus.

This is without a doubt the most amazing dress I have ever tried on in my life.

It's a navy one-shoulder Monique Lhullier gown with a pleated trumpet skirt, it has bias pleats from the shoulder all the way to the hip with a contrast sequined applique at the right side. It's just so wow!

"Come on Ana we're dying of excitement out here!" I can just imagine them both shifting from foot to foot about to combust.

"Okay one sec!" I twirl in the mirror one last time and pull the curtain aside.

They both gasp in unison and their hands fly to their mouths. "Oh my god Ana! That is the most amazing dress!" I fiddle with the fabric of the skirt and look down at it.

"You think? I think it's a little over the top"

"Don't be ridiculous Ana you have to get that right this second!" Olivia says as she comes closer to me telling me to twirl.

"Liv's right you look so beautiful in it, Brody is gunna' die when he sees you in that" I reach across around the back and pull the price tag out and nearly have a heart attack.

"Ana don't worry about that, Brody gave you his Amex and told you to just get whatever you want"

"But…Seriously Kate this much on a dress?!"

"Yes this much on a dress it's amazing!" They both give me that look as if to say 'JUST BUY THE DAMN DRESS!"

"Okay okay! I will get the dress!" Queue the squeals.

**Christian's POV**

"Honey the caterers have just arrived and are in the kitchen setting up, Mia is with the florist making all the final touches in the tent and the band will be here in less than half an hour"

"Thanks Mom you have been amazing, you do know you throw the best parties right?" I grin at her and she just smiles at me her green eyes twinkling, My Mom has always been an angel to me, well to everyone in general she just has this beautiful personality that you cant help but admire, this is why she makes a wonderful paediatrician. She has helped me with this event right from the word go, this is the first public event that I will be holding since I have started GEH and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little apprehensive. It's been pitted the social event of the year and anyone who is anyone will be attending, the press will be here in droves and I have had to amp up security. People know I will be off my guard tonight and it's a perfect opportunity for someone to sneak in and plot something malicious, we're receiving more and more threats every day and I'm not taking the risk by being blasé with security, the worst thing that could happen would be something against my family. As I become more well known they get thrown into the firing line, being photographed whilst out, stories being printed about them and not to mention the paparazzi chases. Mia was driving home from the gym last weekend when she was tailed all the way home, she panicked and put her foot down only for the bastards to chase after her, she clocked on pretty much straight away but that still doesn't change the fact that she could have been hurt. She could of crashed or anything, I shudder at the thought. I'm currently in the process of placing individual CPO's on all members of my family. I know Elliot and Mia will fight me on it but it's just tough shit, I cant risk losing any single one of them.

"I enjoy helping you darling and you know I thrive off this kind of stuff" She cups my cheek "I'm so proud of you Christian, for what you have achieved" I cant help but smile. My Mother has always been my biggest fan but I know she genuinely means that from the bottom of her heart.

"Thanks Mom, I wish Dad would see things that way too" And it's true. He's still bitter about me leaving Harvard even after all these years, he so desperately wanted me to follow in his footsteps and carry on the Grey family name. He doesn't understand that I am still doing that, I just don't want to be an attorney. I want my own company and my own life. He will just have to get over it.

"He will come around Christian, he's just a stubborn fool. He's already softening, I caught him googling you the other day" I cant help but laugh.

"Really?" My Mother laughs with me.

"Yes, he thought I didn't see but I did. He's just stuck in his ways" That I do know. "Right I'm going to check on the preparations in the tent, You know what they can be like if you give them an inch. They mess up completely" As my Mom walks away I feel my Blackberry vibrating in my pocket, Shit it's Brody. I have been blanking his calls for days now and I know if I'm not careful he will start to think something is wrong. I hover my finger over the accept button before I finally press it.

"Fucking hell finally! Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry man, I've just been so crazy planning this event, I know I've been off the radar lately" I close my eyes while I lie through my teeth. Thinking that will lessen the guilt that I feel.

"I thought I had pissed you off or something"

"Don't be a dick of course not" I force a fake laugh and he laughs back.

"So how's it going over there you all set?"

"Yeah pretty much just the last minute touches, what time are you getting here?"

"The limo picks us up at 7, thanks for that by the way" It's the least I can do for being such a Judas.

"It's no trouble, I've gotta go Brody a million things to do before tonight. Ring me when you leave so I can get the photographer all set up outside for you guys. Oh are you still coming to the Fairmont later tonight?" I have arranged for an after party to be held at the Fairmont Olympic after the fundraiser for a selection of VIP guests, they will be mainly business associates that I want to suck up to but of course my family will be there and now I have invited the group as well. I have booked rooms for them all as well so they can stay the night. If I'm gunna do it I may as well do it properly.

"Fuck yeah I can't wait, That will be the highlight of the night"

"Oh right thanks don't die of boredom here on my account"

"I think I will survive"

"Okay laters"

"Catch you later Chris"

"Don't fucking call me Chris!" The bastard howls with laughter and I cant help but laugh with him. I've missed this fucker.

"Laters man" And he's still laughing. I shake my head grinning and head out to the driveway. The team we hired are laying out the carpet and the lanterns are being hung. I know it's going to look amazing once it's dark. My parents house has always been a beautiful building. I knew straight away that I would just have to hold the event here there was no other choice for me.

"Christian! You going?" I turn to see Elliot helping the band unload their van.

"Yeah I'm going to change!" I yell back and walk to the SUV where Taylor is waiting.

"Escala please Taylor"

"Sir"

**Anastasia's POV**

"Ana hold still!"

"You're hurting my head Kate cut it out"

"Only because you wont keep still!" Kate's twisting my hear around the curling barrel and it fucking hurts. She's not the most gentle of stylists.

"Has Brody seen your dress?"

"No not yet, it was still in the bag when he got home. No point in ruining the surprise. Now don't keep tugging my head you'll make me smudge my mascara" I'm sat on a stool in the bathroom with a towel wrapped round my body with my make up case on my lap, we're pushing it for time so I need to multi task.

"He is going to cum in his pants Ana" Trust Kate to put it like that.

"I still think it's over the top"

"You would! You look so hot in it just chill!"

"Are you done yet?" I hate when she does my hair for me she just takes forever. And did I say it hurts?

"Hold on just one sec…Just one more curl there, and there…And done!" She sprays my hair with so much hairspray that I nearly choke. She hands me a bigger mirror and lets me see. Okay I'll give it to her she's good. She has styled my hair into large, bouncy curls and pulled it all over to one side loosely gripping it in place so it falls over my shoulder, she fiddles with the tendrils around my face for ages and when I ask her what she's doing she says she is giving it a bit of 'Sex" Her words. Not mine.

Fifteen minutes later I am in my dress and placing my earrings in when Brody softly knocks on the door and walks in. I actually think he is going to pass out for a minute. He's just staring and not blinking the only movement is from the visible lump in his throat that I see him swallow.

"Wow. Baby you look so incredibly beautiful" He looks so handsome too, He's in his tux. I have always loved him in a suit he looks so dapper. I walk over to him and straighten his bow tie for him.

"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself Mr Williams" I smirk

"I'm the luckiest son of a bitch alive to have you do you know that?" I cringe. If only he knew just how wrong he was.

"Oh shut up you old charmer, only because you want in my panties"

He grins at me "Well yeah and that too"

I softly kiss him on the lips. "Hold that thought tiger, we have an event to get to" He takes my hand and we walk into the living area where everyone is waiting. The guys whistle at me and the girls all look like they're about to cry. Jeez anyone would think it was my wedding day or something.

"Right bitches lets get this show on the road!" Dylan throws back his beer and leads the way to the door. I'm so glad his wife Megan could come tonight, she nearly couldn't make it due to her morning sickness returning but she said she didn't want to miss it for the world. Even though she's nearly five months pregnant she's so petite and slender, you honestly wouldn't even be able to tell she's pregnant if you didn't already know.

Once we're all in the limo Brody pops open the champagne and fills our glasses, everyone is in such high spirits but I cant help but feel nervous, I just really hope that Christian is too busy to mix with us tonight because I'm dreading seeing him. This is the last thing I really need to be dealing with when me and Brody are starting to make progress and get back to normal, things still aren't perfect but little by little we are returning to how we were before. _But your still thinking about Christian. _

As we pull into the driveway my eyes nearly pop out of my head! Fuck Brody wasn't kidding when he said this place was amazing! The driveway is so long it takes us a good five minutes to get there but all you can see is soft twinkling lights scattered around the outside of the house. There are at least five cars queued in front of us and there is a burly guy dressed in a dark suit and tie directing them all where to park, As he tells us to drive around the side of the house I see the press all lined up near the entrance of the door. I guess they are there to capture the arrival of Christian and his family not to mention all the tycoons that will be attending tonight. This is all so surreal.

Brody tells me need to make our way to the grounds as the photographer is waiting for us, I'm still just gaping in awe at my surroundings as we all descend down stone steps on to a beautiful veranda decorated with more lanterns. The photographer lines us all up where he wants us and proceeds to snap picture after picture. I know that the results will be amazing as our backdrop is the spectacular Puget Sound. The lighting is just perfect as it is starting to turn dark but not too dark where you cant see anything. Once he is happy we make our way back to the house and are greeted by a gorgeous blonde in her mid thirties dressed in a black floor length gown. I know Blake will be drooling behind me.

"Good Evening and welcome to Coping Together. Can I take your names please" How many times has she said that tonight I wonder?

"We're here as guests of Christian Grey. Names will be under Williams and Carmichaels" She taps away on her tablet and when she is happy that we're on the list she smiles and gestures for us to move inside

"Have a wonderful evening" There are two butlers on either side of the entrance and we all take a glass. Brody slides his arm around my waist as we descend into the house. Christ it's even more beautiful inside! The foyer is ginormous with an amazing spiralling staircase, I look up and see the most biggest chandelier I have ever seen in my life and I know I have my mouth wide open as I look around. There is a large crowd forming already and several waiters and waitresses are circling the room with trays of appetisers, I feel too sick to eat. I have never been more out of my comfort zone in all my life.

"This place is amazing!" Kate says as she sips her champagne. She's not wrong.

"What's this event for again?"

"It's the Coping Together organisation that Christian's parents co founded ten years ago, It's a charity that helps young people with drug addictions, they set them up with rehab and counsellors the lot, Every year they hold an annual event to raise money for the charity and when Christian started GEH he committed himself to become one of the board members and this is why he's holding this years event, He's invited a bunch of business associates that will of course donate shit loads of money and it's also good PR for him. He's so passionate about it and has been dying to contribute ever since his Mom and Dad took it over" Brody explains and I swear my heart skips a beat, just hearing of the amazing things that Christian is doing for this charity just makes me melt for him even more.

As the room begins to fill more we are directed through the French doors which leads straight into a marquee that looks like it covers the whole of their back yard. Its huge! It's decorated so simply yet looks so beautiful, Large round tables with white tablecloths and gorgeous flower centre pieces. Again the lantern theme runs all the way through the tent creating a light and relaxing atmosphere.

"Ladies and Gentleman if you would please be seated dinner will be served shortly" As the announcement is made everyone subtly scrambles around looking for their name cards. Once we find our table we all sit down and talk amongst ourselves none of us really sure what the code of conduct is here, I look around and everyone seems to be doing the same thing so I relax. Several minutes later I look up just in time as Christian walks through the entrance way. Fuck! If I thought he looked good usually I was sorely mistaken, he looks so edible in a tux I could just combust right here and now. He looks so graceful as he shakes hands and kisses cheeks looking like the perfect host. The perfect everything. I instantly breathe a sigh of relief when I notice that he doesn't have a date on his arm, thank god I don't know how I would of reacted if I saw him with a woman tonight, I know I have no room to judge as I am here with Brody but it still brings this awful sick feeling to my stomach. Just then he looks up and our eyes lock. It's like time freezes and everyone in the room disappears, no one else at the table has noticed him arrive yet so they cant see our exchange thank god. I cant tear my gaze away from his, I'm powerless to his eyes are boring into me with so many emotions that it almost makes me tear up. Eventually I blink and look away remembering what we agreed. We have to act normal. I think he's going to walk over but instead he makes his way to a table right at the front of the tent sitting himself next to a beautiful older woman who stands to kiss his cheek, I presume it is his Mother by the way she is looking at him. There is so much affection in her eyes.

Throughout dinner the chatter around the table continues. I know I'm being quiet but its only because its all I can do to stop myself from turning around and looking for him. This is why I knew this was a bad idea coming tonight, I've been here for less than an hour and already I am feeling the strain, just being in his presence resorts me to a crumbling mess of lust desire and I cant concentrate on anything but him.

"Oh fuck" I hear Brody choke out next to me snapping my attention back to him

"What's wrong?"

"I swear I didn't know she was coming Ana" I know I must look confused because he gestures for me took behind me with his eyes. I turn and there I see staring at us is Evie Davis. This cannot be happening! I feel Brody grip my hand tight but I cant take my eyes off the bitch stood before me. What is she doing here? Then I realise she must of somehow been invited tonight as her parents are well known social elites around Seattle. She's wearing a skin tight red dress that stops just past the knee, a little bit tactless for this event don't you think? All of a sudden I see her moving forwards. Shit she's coming over! I look around and see everyone rooted to their spots with grave expressions. Why me?

"Hello Brody, Hello Anastasia" She sneers my name and I feel Brody's hand tighten around mine whilst starting to sweat. He doesn't say anything but I decide not to let this thing get the better of me.

"Hello Evie, how lovely to see you here" I couldn't sound more fake if I tried but I don't care. We all know I hate her guts.

"Yes how lovely, aren't you going to say hello Brody?" She smirks but still Brody doesn't say anything, I turn to look at him and he has his head bowed looking like he might be sick.

"What the hell do you want?" That was Dylan and he has a murderous look on his face.

"Just being polite Dylan no need to be so rude"

"Is there a problem here" Christian arrives at our table and looks at Evie with utter disgust. No one likes this bitch.

"Why hello Christian, long time no see"

"How the fuck did you get in here?" His voice is a whisper but yet it sounds so loud.

"My parents are on the guest list Christian and as their Daughter technically so am I" She smiles sweetly and I just want to punch her in the face.

"You're causing a scene now leave" She just stands there glaring.

"Christian it's okay honestly" I don't know why I don't just let her get her ass thrown out but im trying to be the bigger person, Christian looks at me for reassurance and I just nod.

"Sit down Evie and stay away from this table. One move from you and you will be out you hear me?" She smirks and looks at me one more time before walking back to her table. Brody is still looking down and I cant help but be pissed at him for not stepping in. Christian shouldn't of had to.

"Are you okay?" He touches my shoulder and squeezes gently, I immediately feel the current surge between us just from his simple touch. I know he feels it too because he pulls away just as fast.

"Yeah thank you for stepping in"

"No problem anytime. I will catch up with you all later okay" Everyone nods at him and I think they're still in shock, quite frankly so am I.

Something tells me this night is not over.

**A/N - So who thinks that will be the last of Evie tonight? Hmm I think not!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - I am in the process of creating a Pinterest account for this story and I will let you know when I have completed adding the relevant pictures so far (:**

**I do love your reviews! And I love how you're all dying for Brody and Evie to get together! **

**More drama to come! **

**Chapter Eight - The Fundraiser - Part Two**

**Anastasia's POV**

"What the hell was that?!" I seethe in Brody's ear once we have finished dinner and are away from prying eyes and ears. We are now in the second tent for the remainder of the evening, the auction has been held and now the band is in full swing, There is a large dance floor in the centre of the marquee which is already being filled with couples, the atmosphere is electric and the champagne is still flowing. I have already lost count of how many glasses I have had and I know if I don't slow down I will do something that I will regret tomorrow. Like rip that blonde bimbo's head off and spit in the hole. But I wouldn't regret that.

"I'm so sorry baby I didn't know she would be here"

"I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about your performance or lack of, why didn't you tell her to fuck off as soon as she approached our table?" This has been bugging me ever since dinner. Brody just sat there and didn't move a muscle whilst she was stood there, he would of known that I would of hated every single second of her being within an inch of me but he still chose to stay quiet.

"I don't know what happened…I just froze!"

"Your telling me! Brody you should of defended me and told her to leave" The fact that Christian had to step in and take charge pisses me off further, firstly because it should have been my boyfriend telling her where to go, secondly because who does he think he is? Does he think I am some damsel in distress that needs rescuing or something? And thirdly because he looked so damn hot telling her off, I haven't seen him losing his temper like that before and it seriously did things to me.

He steps forward and gently places his hands on my forearms rubbing gently. "Baby I'm sorry. You're right I should have done more but it just shocked me seeing her here that was all, I hate that she was even breathing the same air as you. Just lets not ruin her our night please?" He moves one hand to cup my cheek "She's not worth the breath we use discussing her believe me, she wont bother us again" He looks deep into my eyes imploring me to give it up. He's right though. She isn't worth the hassle.

"Okay I'm sorry, I just hate that she's here thinking she has one up on us"

"She hasn't got one up on us at all, she's here alone with only Mommy and Daddy for company and we're here together with all of our best friends, who is the pathetic one in that scenario?" I cant help but smile, she is here with her parents and you would think at twenty four she would be able to cut those apron strings by now.

"Let's just get a drink and find everybody else, we still have an amazing night ahead of us yet" He kisses my lips several times and grasps my hand leading me to where our friends are congregated near the bar at the far end of the tent. Why are we always the ones stood near a bar? I seriously think we have drink issues sometimes. Once Kate sees me she folds me in her arms and squeezes me tight "Are you okay? She whispers in my ear and I just nod. I refuse to talk about that bitch anymore tonight. Dylan hands me a glass of champagne and winks at me, out of everyone Dylan is the one person that hates her just as much as I do, as far as I know a lot of shit went down between the three of them when Brody and Evie were together. I slowly sip my drink as I know that this one could set me over the edge if I'm not careful, even though I have eaten a substantial amount alcohol always still makes me light headed and clumsy on my feet.

"Here he is the man of the evening" I turn and see Christian stood next to Olivia. Yep still as beautiful as before. He grins and shakes the boys hands before kissing Kate and Olivia, once he bends down to kiss mine I hold my breath, the last time I felt those lips we were seconds away from having sex in my kitchen. I refuse to think about that too much.

"How is it all going? Are you having fun? Do you think everyone else is having fun? It's not boring is it?" Rambling Christian is adorable. He's worried that this event will be a flop when in actual fact been what looks like to me an amazing success. Just from the auction alone the money was flying in by the thousands, and that is without the private donations that guests are still yet to make.

Brody laughs "Calm down Christian the whole night has been amazing, you don't need to worry one bit" Christian takes a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and takes a large gulp.

"I would be lying if I didn't say that I wasn't nervous, Hell I still am but having you guys here means the world" As he says that last part he looks me straight in the eye, his gaze not faltering onto anyone else. _Was he aiming that at me?_ I feel my cheeks heat and I cast my eyes downwards looking into my glass, Since when did I blush like a teenage girl? And he didn't even really say anything? I feel Elliot come to stand in between me and Kate and he puts his arms round us both.

"Good evening beautiful people" I glance at Kate and she looks like she might melt into a puddle on the floor, he gazes down at her and grins that boyish grin whilst giving her a wink and I think I officially see her swoon.

"You ladies are looking divine tonight can I just say"

"Are you drunk Ell?" Dylan squints his eyes at Elliot.

"Oh so he has to be drunk for him to think that we look nice! You pig!" Olivia socks Dylan in the chest and he nearly buckles to the floor but Megan holds him up whilst we are all in hysterics.

"Fuck Olivia that hurt!" Olivia doesn't realise her own strength sometimes "I was just asking because he looks like the only reason he is stood up right is cause he is leaning on Ana and Kate" He grunts out still rubbing his chest. Come to think of it Elliot does look like he would be swaying from side to side unless we weren't here for support.

"I may have had just a little bit of champagne and bourbon, just an incey wincey bit" With the arm that's round my neck he holds his hand up and shows us just how much he means with his thumb and forefinger. Christian comes over and grabs for him lightly brushing against my arm as she does so. I swear if I feel that fucking current surge between us one more time I'm going to flip out.

"Come on we need to get you some water before the press get hold of you on your ass, or worse our Mother" He leads him to a table and shoves him down before making him drink at least a pint of water. _So thoughtful._

"Looks like he will be out of action for you tonight Kate" Brody smirks and she just narrows her eyes at him

"What is that supposed to mean?" Oh Kate you know.

"I don't think he will be quite up to performing his fucking duties tonight" Blake actually snorts into his drink making him choke and Olivia giggles behind her hand, Kate looks like she is ready to cut Brody's balls off.

"Fuck off Brody! That was never going to happen tonight anyway!" Yeah right.

"So you're telling me that you two will be in separate rooms at the hotel tonight?" I would stop smirking if I were you baby she looks ready to charge any minute now.

"Yes! Ana tell him, he's being an ass!" What are we five? I hold my hands up placating myself and shake my head.

"Leave me out of this I'm saying nothing! I'm going to the Ladies room"

"Ooh I will come with you" Olivia links her arm with mine and we make our way outside looking for the bathroom, Fuck these may be portable toilets but they are more luxurious than my own bathroom at home! There are five cubicles in the ladies rest room and seven sinks on the opposing wall unit. I apply my lip gloss as I'm waiting for Olivia to finish up. Why is it once you get in a toilet you realise how drunk you feel? Your eyes feel blurry and applying make up feels like the hardest task there ever was.

"So do you believe Kate when she says she wont sleep with Elliot tonight?" Olivia says to me as she comes out of the cubicle and washes her hands.

"No not for one minute, do you?" She grins at me through the mirror and shakes her head.

"Not at all, I don't know why she tries to deny it they hook up every single time they see each other. It's like she cant resist him"

"Would you be able to resist Elliot Grey?" I ask while laughing.

"Ewww no I would never go there in a million years!" She scrunches her face up and shakes her head violently making me laugh hysterically.

"Well then maybe tonight will be the night that Kate does" We turn to leave but stop in our tracks as Evie walks in. Once she sees us a smirk grows at the side of her mouth that I just want to slap off.

"Hello again Ladies, we really must stop meeting like this" God does she anything other than sarcastic comments?

"We really must, and with that we shall be leaving" I nod at Liv to follow.

"Now now Anastasia what is the hurry? Is Brody missing you already? Awww how sweet" She cocks her head to the side and juts her bottom lip. Patronising bitch.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why cant you just stay away!" Olivia practically shouts drawing everyone's attention to us and takes a step forward to get in her face but I pull her arm back.

"Leave it Olivia she's seriously not worth it, Look Evie let's not play games here. You cant stand me and I quite frankly cant stand you. We have no reason to socailise with each other so lets not even pretend that we do. Come on let's go" I nod at Olivia to follow me and she does.

"Did Brody make it home okay the other night?" But that sentence right there makes me stop dead in my tracks. I slowly turn to face her and when I do she has the smuggest smile plastered all over her botoxed face.

"What did you just say to me?"

"Brody, Did he make it home okay from the bar the other night? I was worried he had had too much to drink" Okay, now I'm one step away from ripping her hair out.

"What are you talking about Evie! You just stir trouble all the time!" Olivia says.

"I think you will find I am actually just asking an honest question, what's wrong with that?"

"I'm sorry, I'm failing to understand what it is you are even talking about?" I know I must look confused because she starts laughing.

"Don't tell me he didn't tell you he asked me to meet him Sunday night for a drink?" She then smacks her hand against her mouth "Oh tell me I haven't just put my foot in it, did he not tell you?" I feel the blood rush from my toes to my face and I can feel my fist clench so I grip the counter for leverage.

"You're lying" I say though gritted teeth. Of course she is lying it's what she does.

"Oh why would I lie about that? It's the truth. He called me and I went straight to him" She twirls a curl and tilts her head to the side "While we're being honest I may as well just tell you that he was all over me practically begging me to take him home" That's it. I feel myself lunge for her and just as I am about to make contact Olivia jerks my arm back and pulls me away, I try to shake from her grasp but her hold on me is too strong.

"Ana don't! She's not worth it she's lying! Don't stoop to her level this is what she wants!"

"I'm not lying actually it's the truth. Ooh I even have the call log to prove it"

"What?" I turn around to face her again and she is already digging her phone out of her clutch purse. Once she has it she clicks a few buttons and hands it to me. "Here. See for yourself"

I stare at her cell like it's poison, I don't move I just stare at it. I look up and she's looking right back at me. This time there is no smirk, no smug grin. Just wide eyes telling to me take it.

"Seriously look at it, this will prove I'm not lying!"

"Ana don't, it's a trick she's just playing you don't even give her the satisfaction"

"Oh will you just hush the fuck up. You're really starting to give me a headache"

"Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"Olivia please! Please just be quiet and let me think!" She immediately shuts her mouth and looks to the floor. Evie still has her hand outstretched to me holding her phone. Without giving it anymore thought I snatch her cell from her grasp and look at her screen. And there it is. In black and white. Evidence that my boyfriend is a lying scrotum.

_Received Calls_

_22:02:13: 10:48pm: Brody Williams_

"See, I told you I wasn't lying. He loves me Ana he always has and he always will don't you see that yet?" I know she's talking to me but her words sound like I'm underwater and cant hear properly. My head feels like it's about to explode at any minute and I can't think straight. I can barely even breathe. I feel Olivia next to me telling me to come outside and get some air, I let her lead me to a bench away from the bathroom and she pulls me to sit.

"Ana can you hear me? Are you okay do you need some water?" I blink several times and turn to look at her, she has a mask of worry all over her face and she is holding my hand tightly gently rubbing my wrist and up my arm to soothe me. That wont soothe me one iota.

"He did it again" My voice is barely above a whisper but it's like my vocal chords are constricted and they won't let me speak at a higher octave. "He lied to me again, he went to see her again. Behind my back" She doesn't speak she just looks at me still rubbing my arm, I know she doesn't know what to say, what is there to say? My boyfriend has lied to me twice in one week. Meeting his fucking ex behind my fucking back! All of a sudden I see red. My breathing accelerates and before I know it I have hiked my dress up slightly before practically sprinting back into the marquee, I hear Olivia shouting behind me telling me to stop and calm down but that is the last thing I want to do. I scan the tent but I don't see him, I walk to the bar and scour the tables but still cant see him. Fuck where is he? I decide to check on the other side of the back yard so I make my way through the French doors and stride through the foyer and that's when I see him. He's leant against the staircase with his hands in his pockets and his ankles crossed over each other, Blake and Dylan are stood next to him and they are all laughing, _he is fucking laughing_. I storm in their direction, Dylan notices me and his eyes widen causing Brody to look round, just as his head turns I raise my clenched fist and swing fast, connecting perfectly with his nose making him stumble backwards.

"Fuck Ana!" Dylan catches him mid fall but I am nowhere near finished, I go to jump on him but Blake wraps his arms around my waist dragging me back causing me to kick my legs out whilst screaming at him to get the fuck off me, he grips tighter and I can hear him in my ear telling me to calm down, I see Kate and Olivia come into my view and once she sees me she yells at Dylan to get Brody out of here but both of them refuse to move.

"Blake get off me! Put me down before I rip your head off!"

"Not before you calm down Ana"

"I am calm!" I'm clearly not calm.

"Hardly, please stop struggling and kicking your legs. I promise I will put you down if you calm down" Eventually I stop lashing out and still my movements, once Blake is satisfied he slowly places my feet back on the floor and releases me from his hold. Brody is holding his nose which looks like it is bleeding profusely by the redness I can see seeping through his fingers. Dylan is looking at me like I have grown two heads and Kate is by my side in seconds asking me what has happened. I cant speak yet, my breathing is still laboured and my heart beat is going like the clappers. Brody raises his eyes to look at me and I can see that he hasn't got a clue what has just happened here. I take a step forward and stare right into his eyes, at that moment I can see him cower and he actually looks scared. _I would be scared too Buster._

"That. Is. The. Last. Time. You. Will. Ever. Humiliate. Me. Again" I say in staccato through gritted teeth. His eyes widen and he removes his hand from his nose letting me see the damage I have done, it looks a mess and for a minute I wonder if I have broken it but right now I don't care. He deserves more than a broken nose for what he has put me through, he's lucky I'm not cutting his balls off right here in the foyer.

"Ana…" I don't let him finish. I raise my hand silently telling him to stop. I don't want to hear anymore of his bull shit. I've heard enough of this to last me a lifetime.

"I'm sorry to cut in but what the fuck has just happened here?" Dylan asks stood beside him, still holding onto his arm. He has a right to ask, I have just attacked his best friend after all.

"Ask _him._ Ask him what he was doing Sunday night after I pretty much threw him out of our apartment" Brody looks like he might burst into tears after that statement, and that is the only confirmation I need. His eyes say it all. Dylan looks at Brody along with every other pair of eyes around me.

"Brody?" Blake comes closer and gets in his face pretty much, its like he knows that whatever Brody is about to say it will be bad.

"What the fuck did you do?" Brody just stands there, a repeat performance from the dinner table only two hours ago. In just two hours my whole life has been flipped to the shit.

"Well since as he wont tell you I will. My darling boyfriend here left our apartment and went to a bar, while he was at this bar he made a phone call, a phone call to his _ex girlfriend _asking her to come and meet him" I haven't even finished this sentence before Dylan has Brody by the scruff of the neck pressed up against the nearest wall.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! Seriously do you have a fucking screw loose! You met with that bitch again!" He's in his face screaming whilst Brody looks emotionless, he's not pushing back trying to defend himself, he isn't even saying anything.

"It's not what it sounds like"

"What the fuck does it sound like then Brody because to us it sounds like you fucked my best friend over again!" Kate lunges for him too but I look around to see her being pulled back, and she's being pulled back by Christian. He looks at Dylan, reaching for his shoulder and yanking him back forcing him to release Brody. He looks from Dylan to Brody, taking in his bloody nose and watery eyes and then onto me. He looks me up and down and pulls my hand up noticing my red and raised knuckles, along with my furiously heavy breathing he puts two and two together realising it was me that hit him.

"What's going on here?" His voice is deceptively soft but laced with menace all at the same time. I can't relive this again, why should I have to? This is Brody's fuck up and he should be the one having to explain.

I sigh heavily and step back "Ask him, I'm going to get a drink. And you" I point my finger in Brody's direction and narrow my eyes at him "You better stay the hell away from me. I would leave before I break your jaw also" and with that I spin on my heel and head in the direction of the bar. I need a very large stiff drink.

**Christian's POV**

"Darling I am so proud of you, tonight has been by far the most successful Coping Together Event we have ever held, and its all because of you" My Mother beams at me as we finish our dance and I cant help but flourish under her praise. I was so nervous about tonight I could barely eat my dinner without bringing it back up again, I have to say I am proud of myself. I never thought in a million years that I would be able pull this off the way I have, my parent's have always thrown spectacular events and have raised tremendous amounts of money in the process. As this was my first official charity gala there was a lot riding on it, people were waiting for it to fail and I am so thankful that it hasn't. Even my Father has congratulated me telling me that he was impressed with the outcome, okay it was only a handshake and a curt nod but it still meant so much more to me. To get my Dad's approval was the perfect way to end this night, It's nearly 11pm and people will start leaving after the fireworks display. I have already sent security over to the Fairmont Olympic Hotel to prepare for the VIP after party and to drop everyone's over night bags depositing them in each of their rooms. I have hired 'The Georgian' the hotel's premiere dining room to host it and there will be more than enough room for the select gathering, all in all there will be around 25 guests including my family. There will be Champagne on ice all night.

"Thanks Mom, I'm so relieved that it's nearly over though" I laugh and she laughs with me. And its true, this has been a ball ache to organise.

"You can pull off anything Christian, your about the only person I know that can" She reaches up and straightens my bow tie "Now where is your brother? In bed I hope sleeping it off?"

"He is but I said I would wake him before we leave for the Fairmont, he doesn't want to miss out" I grin thinking about Elliot as I was putting him to bed, he begged me like a small boy would his Mommy to wake him so he wouldn't miss out on the party. I'm half tempted to leave his ass in bed but I know that he would hunt me down.

"Oh Christian he is in no fit state to go tonight"

"Mom I agree but I have already had Kate on at me telling me that I need to make sure he's there" Oops that was more than I should of said by the look in her eyes.

"Kate? Who's Kate?" Fuck.

"She's just a friend, a very close friend" I'm praying my Mom catches onto what I mean as I really don't want to go into detail about my Brothers life. Thankfully she does.

"Ohhhhh I see. Well okay then that's fair enough. Which one is Kate" She whips her head around the room checking out the women.

"She's not in here, she was the curvy long haired blonde that was sat at Dylan and Blake's table. Black dress"

"Oh she's beautiful, and seems lovely too. I haven't really had the chance to speak to your friends tonight yet? Who are the other two girls that were sat at the table?"

"Olivia and Ana, Ana is Brody's girlfriend and Olivia is one of her best friends" Saying out loud that Ana is Brody's girlfriend stabs like a fucking knife in the chest. That is always how I have to introduce her, as Brody is my friend he is always invited to all this shit I put on. And now I know Ana will be here I best get used to saying it.

"The brunette has caught my eye especially, she is such a beautiful creature" You don't have to tell me that Mother.

"That's Ana, yes she is very beautiful" I hope that that came out as a casual compliment but looking into my Mom's eyes I know it really didn't.

"Oh Christian" She slides her hand down my chest and drops them to her sides.

"What?" I try and at least play dumb.

"Don't what me, don't think that I haven't seen you looking at her every chance you get, You cant take your eyes off of her. And don't say that you look at every woman like that because I know you don't, she's different" Well that's me well and truly fucking busted.

"I don't know what you mean Mom, she's just a friend. She's Brody's girlfriend"

"Yes exactly she's Brody's girlfriend, so whatever little crush you have on her stops right now Christian. You never betray your friends trust like that not for anything, do you hear me?" My Mom never raises her voice at me. I get the feeling she has been waiting for me to give her the opportunity to chew my ass over Ana all night, and I practically handed it over to her on a silver platter.

"Christian do you hear me?" I just nod my head not being able to look her in the eye. I feel her cup my cheek and stroke it with her thumbs. "Come, the fireworks will be starting any minute" and with that she walks away from me, so now my Mother knows I clearly have feelings for Ana, Fuck if she has noticed how many others have? Does Kate know? Or Elliot? I am getting way over my head with this. I turn to make my way out to the back patio for the display when I hear shouting coming from the foyer, in fact I hear screaming. _What the fuck? _I speed walk through to the direction of the commotion I hear and stop dead in my tracks. Dylan has Brody against a wall who I can see is clearly bleeding, Blake is just watching along with Kate and Olivia and Ana, well Ana is visibly shaken, I can see her beautiful chest rise and full with shuddering breaths like she will burst into tears at any minute now.

As I move closer I hear Brody saying something but I cant hear what, then I hear Kate yell out before she goes to lunge in Brody's direction. Shit what is going on? I manage to grab a hold of her before she reaches him and pull her around so she is facing the other way. Then I force Dylan to remove his grasp from Brody's collar and that's when I get a good glance at his face, Fuck he is bleeding everywhere, his hands and his nose is smeared in blood with the odd drop hitting the marble floor, someone has socked him one right in the face. I turn my attention to Ana and she is still breathing at a rapid speed, her eyes are glassy and she has her arms planted to the side of her body clenching what must be her fists. Wait a fucking minute. I gently bring her hand up to my view and see straight away that her hand is swollen and her knuckles are red and look sore. _Did Ana punch Brody? What the fuck?!_ As she turns to walk away Kate and Olivia chase behind and I am left with my best friends.

"Does someone care to fucking explain?!" Thank god that all of the guests are already outside and cant see the absolute fucking circus that is taking place in my foyer right now. Luckily there aren't even any staff around to witness this.

Five minutes later and I have the full story. How Ana has discovered that Brody contacted Evie asking her to meet him Sunday night. _After the dinner party, after the kiss _

"What the ever loving fuck were you thinking Brody?!" I yell

"Oh man don't even bother I have already tried that! Dylan is now pacing up and down rubbing his forehead. He looks pissed.

"I fucked up alright, I was trying to fix my relationship and have ultimately just ended it, Ana is never going to forgive me" Asshole. That's what he is. A fucking asshole. Does he need his brain testing? Does he not realise the amazing girlfriend he has hanging off his fucking arm?

"Just go home Brody, get some fucking ice on that nose and sleep this mess off. If you go in there after Ana she will rip your balls off, so admit defeat for tonight and go home" He looks at me and I think that he will burst into tears but he doesn't, he just shakes his head and nods dejectedly. I tell Dylan to take the limo to get him home and then tell him to come straight back. If everyone still wants to carry on and go to the Fairmont there is no way he is missing out. Brody has fucked up and he needs some alone time to realise this.

I head back inside to the tent to find it empty except from Kate, Olivia and Ana all huddled at a table, Ana necks back what looks like a full glass of champagne and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Girls can you give us a minute please?" They both raise their heads to look at me before standing and walking outside. I sit down on the chair next to her and look at her, she doesn't make any eye contact with me she just stares into the bottom of her empty glass.

"He's gone. Dylan's taking him home" She just nods not saying anything.

"I understand if you want to give the after party a miss" She scoffs and lets out a chuckle.

"Are you joking, the bar here has stopped serving and I'm guessing that you have champagne there right?" She looks at me and I nod "Well then I am there" I cant help but laugh "Besides if he has gone back to the apartment then I am going back to the hotel room and stopping there the night, no way am I going back there" I understand that completely.

"You should get some ice on your hand" She holds her hand up in front of her face and inspects it.

"It's fine, I cant feel anything"

"Maybe not now but you will soon, it will hurt like a bitch"

"An expert on that are you?" She smirks at me.

"I've had one or two bruised knuckles in my time" I smirk right back.

I hear her sigh heavily "Am I a hypocrite?" Huh?

"What?"

"Me, am I a hypocrite for hitting the roof over this? After what we did?" That's a fair point but I can honestly say no. Brody has lied repeatedly to her. Ana made a mistake once, an amazing mistake that made my heart pound out of my chest but a mistake none the less.

"No I don't, what we did was different it was a moment of weakness, we both realised it was wrong and agreed to stay away from each other" Her eyes bore into mine but I look away before I get caught in that magic fucking spell she manages to weave over me.

"Was it?"

"Was it what?" Her lips part

"Was it a mistake?" Oh god don't ask me that.

"Ana don't, you know it was"

"Do I? Because I personally think that's a load of shit and deep down we both know it was meant to happen, we both wanted it to happen" She scoots closer to me and I can feel her breath on my neck as she gently places her hand on mine.

"Christian look at me" I cant. If I do I wont be able to look away. When I don't look her way she puts her hand on my cheek and forces my head to turn, and I'm met with her beautiful blue orbs.

"I know you wanted it just as much as I did, I haven't been able to get you out of my head" I close my eyes and savour her words. To know she has been feeling the exact same way as I do does something to me. We have something there is no denying that. But it's still not right. I place my hand over hers and gently break the contact.

"Ana your upset, you've had a rough night and this is just the emotions talking. You're vulnerable and your hurt over what Brody has done, you don't know what you're saying"

"No its not stop doing that! Stop telling me what I feel when I know what I feel, and it's you. Christian its you it has….."

"Hey are you guys ready to go?" Fuck Kate! I don't know if to be relieved I didn't hear the end of that sentence or on my knees screaming. Ana immediately puts the distance between us before Kate notices our close proximity.

"Err yeah is Taylor back yet do you know?" Kate nods and tells me he is outside with the limo waiting to drive us to the Fairmont.

"Right lets go then!" Ana says and stands before walking outside without turning back. Fuck


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - Double update for you guys!**

**Chapter 9 - No Turning Back**

**Anastasia's POV**

From luxury to luxury. Seriously it's like living in another world, 'The Georgian' is absolutely beautiful, It has Palladian windows and outstanding chandeliers hanging above and I can't help but gape in awe. Despite the utter fucking catastrophe that has turned into my life tonight I am here and I am not going to let Brody ruin it for me, he's called and texted non stop since we left Bellevue and if he thinks I am going to answer him he has got another thing coming, I'm staying here tonight and I know when I go home tomorrow shit is gunna' hit the fan but I cant think about that yet, Kate and Olivia are walking on egg shells around me and it's starting to piss me off. It's like they think I am going to flip out and go bat shit crazy but I'm not. I'm actually okay and I have calmed down a lot, I'm still so pissed off and hurt but I have already hit him, he's the one with the bleeding nose sat at home feeling sorry for himself and right now that is compensation enough.

Having no Brody and no Evie here is like a breath of fresh air, I'm not constantly looking over my shoulder wondering what can go wrong next, I hate drama in my life and this past week or so there has been enough of that to last me a lifetime. There is still the tiny fact that everything with me and Christian is up in the air still, I am tired of pretending that I don't feel anything for him when in actual fact I do, I haven't been able to get him out of my head since we kissed and I cant pretend anymore. We agreed that we would stay away from each other because it's the right thing but why? Brody was hardly doing the right thing by me when he was meeting up with that slut behind my back, he wasn't thinking about me at home in our bed when he was getting cosy with her, he wasn't thinking about me at all. I know that Christian still feels like he has a right to stay faithful to Brody, I get that I really do. He is his best friend and they have been through a lot together, but at the same time I know he feels the same way I do, he feels the same things I am feeling and there's no use pretending. Every time I look in his direction he looks the other way. He wont make eye contact and he has barely said two words to me since we got here, I can see him talking with every other person in this room but he is yet to come over to me and make conversation. But every so often I can feel his gaze burning into me, I know it's him looking at me because I only get that shivers down my spine feeling when he's near, he is the only person that can turn me into mush with just one look. I have to get him on his own at some point tonight so we can talk. I wont let him push me away anymore.

"Oh my god have you seen our rooms?" Olivia squeals as she bounces up to me.

"Yeah they're something huh?" And they really are, I had a quick peak once we arrived here tonight to check my bag was there and the room was so beautiful I almost just wanted to hide up there all night. I noticed Brody's bag on the side too and I thought that they were obviously dropped off before what had happened tonight. I quickly stashed his bag away in the closet so I didn't have to look at it anymore and freshened up before I headed back downstairs, I considered changing into something more comfortable but I don't think jeans and a sweater would suffice so I stayed as I was.

"Can you imagine what Christian's suite looks like? Honestly if ours are like that his must be to die for" She says with wide eyes and I laugh. Olivia was made for this kind of lifestyle, she comes from a pretty wealthy family but once her parents divorced things turned nasty and her Mother ended up with hardly anything, Olivia was only ten so she can barely remember what it was like to live such a lavish lifestyle, a huge house, vacations twice a year and staff to wait on you hand and foot. She graduated high school and went on to cosmetology college and trained to become a hair stylist, she is one of the best in Seattle and she has done nothing but work her entire life to get where she is today. Her Dad often sends letters to her but she destroys them every time, she hasn't had contact with him since she was fifteen after he decided to move in a woman only a few years older than herself and proposed to her, Olivia was disgusted and vowed to never speak to him again. That's where we have so much in common, we both have useless Father's that have had no influence in our lives, not Ray of course he has been amazing, I don't know what I would do without him he got me through some pretty hard years when me and my Mom weren't getting along. He may not be my birth Father but he is more of a Dad to me then the sperm donor ever was or ever will be.

"I can only imagine Liv" I say as I sip what is possibly my hundredth champagne of the evening.

"Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine honestly, I know I acted pretty crazy earlier but I'm past that now honest"

"Jesus Ana I have never seen you act like that before, the way you went for him…." She shakes her head as she is obviously replaying the scene in her head. I can only imagine what it must of looked like to him, I just stormed over there and punched my boyfriend in the face with no warning, and judging by the throbbing in my hand and the state of his nose I know it must have been one hell of a punch.

"I'm sorry, I know it was pretty out of character for me and I should never of behaved that way especially tonight, but I saw red…From that bitch approaching us at dinner to then what happened in the bathroom. I just snapped" She steps forward and strokes my arm.

"Hey you don't have to explain to me I understand completely, you were in shock and angry and any one of us would have done the same"

"You think?"

"I know now stop worrying about it, do you want to stay in mine and Kate's room tonight?"

"No I really just think I want to be alone, besides are you sure _you _want to stay in there tonight? By the looks of it Kate and Elliot wont be down here much longer" I nod with my head to look behind me at the direction of them both huddled in the corner with their tongues down each other's throats, God they could be anywhere and they would still find time to make out like horny teenagers.

"Oh don't worry I have already had 'the chat with her' " As she says this she lifts her fingers and make air quotes and I laugh.

"What chat would that be?"

"No funny business in our room, she has to go back to his for that and under any circumstances is she allowed to bring him back to our room. Not a chance in hell am I being there to witness them two…You know…Frolicking" I am nearly on the floor in stitches, I have to hold my stomach while I try and catch my breath, Olivia has never been able to say the word fuck, hell she can barely even say the word sex and to see her get so worked up over what Kate and Elliot might be doing with her laid in bed in the next room nearly makes me pee my panties.

"Oh Liv you are just too much" I wipe my eyes as my laughter finally subsides "I'm sure they wouldn't dream of 'Frolicking' with you in the same room" Now it's my turn to make sarcastic air quotes as she grins and smacks me playfully on the arm.

"Even so I wasn't taking the risk, Oh hey speaking of Elliot have you met his hot Dad?" I do a spit take in my drink and cough a few times before clearing my throat. What did she just say to me?"

"Excuse me?"

"Have you not seen him? Ana for an older guy I seriously would!" I cant believe the girl that cant even say the word sex is telling me that she would fuck Carrick Grey.

"Olivia!"

"What I seriously would, don't tell me you wouldn't" She says as she points her finger at me. I have to admit he is one hot guy, well for his age. He is still well built and has beautiful blue eyes, he must be in his fifties at least and his face has hardly aged at all, his brown hair only has light speckles of gray running through and if I'm honest that just adds to his appeal. But I still wouldn't go as far as saying I would do him, Jesus he's a little out of my age range. His son on the other hand, him I totally would in a heartbeat.

"Olivia you are crazy, that's why I love you" She winks at me and I laugh.

"Grace is one lucky woman"

"Who's Grace?"

"His wife, Christian and Elliot's Mom" Olivia looks round the room. "She's over there in the far corner talking to the fat bald guy and the woman with the back cleavage" I look to where her eyes are trained and see a beautiful middle aged woman in a charcoal coloured gown with a wrap around her arms to match. Wow she's stunning, she has her hair pulled back in a chignon and is wearing the most gorgeous jewellery in her ears and around her neck that sparkle under the light magnificently. I saw her earlier at the dinner table but couldn't really get a good look at her, she really is beautiful. At that moment she turns her head and her eyes catch mine, _shit she just caught me staring at her _she looks at me intently for a moment before lifting her glass and smiling brightly at me, not just an ordinary smile either it was a more of a smile that was saying something but I haven't got the faintest idea what. I smile back and she turns back to her conversation.

"It looks like Carrick is a lucky man too" I muse still taking in her beauty, I can only hope to look half as amazing as that once I reach her age. I circle the room with my eyes and notice that Elliot and Kate are now exiting the dining room, well it looks like they have decided to call it a night. As they leave I see Christian walking in. _With her. _What is she doing here? Why would he invite her and why is she only arriving now? Surely she should have been at the main fucking event don't you think? She's wearing what looks like a rustic brown halter neck floor length dress, its backless and has a long split down the side which practically shows off her entire right leg, the dress has ruffles along the top of the split and to me it just looks tasteless, don't get me wrong it's a beautiful dress but for an event like this one? I'm surprised Christian isn't dragging her out making her change. He has his arm around her waist as he leads her to a group of middle aged men and she looks like she could skip for fucking joy, I know I'm staring. And I know I probably have the biggest scowl on my face but I cant help it. I don't get why he just keeps inviting her out? The other night when I saw them out he looked like he couldn't wait to get out of there fast enough.

"_She's just a distraction" _

His words replay in my head and I cant help but think that's why she's here tonight, did he invite her to take the attention off of me? Did he seriously pick up the phone and call her before we left Bellevue asking her to come here or had he planned it all along? I try and watch his facial expressions as he talks and how he reacts every time that she reaches over and places her hand on his chest or his arm, laughing that fucking annoying laugh that goes right through me the same way fingers dragging down a chalkboard does. He looks rather disinterested in anything that she has to say and that makes my shoulders sag with relief.

"Who is that Christian is with?" Olivia asks beside looking in the same direction I am. Shit I forgot she was there.

"It looks like his date"

"Really? Oh I wouldn't put him with that type at all, she looks so cheap and nasty"

"That's what I was thinking"

"Hey Dylan come here" Olivia yells at Dylan who looks like he is making his way to the bathroom.

"What is it?"

"What's the story on the chick Christian is with?" Dylan looks around trying to see who we are talking about and once he sees her he groans a frustrated groan.

"Oh that's Macy, he was seeing her up until a few weeks ago and I thought she was off the scene, I knew they had a date a few days ago but as far as I heard it was a disaster" I try and look like I don't know any of this when really I just want to scream at him and ask him why the fuck he has invited the little tramp.

"Why is she here then if the date was a flop?" Thank you Olivia.

"Fuck if I know, I'm hoping he is just having a weak moment because she is crazy" He twirls his finger near his temple to imitate crazy and I smirk. She's crazy alright.

I personally have had enough of looking at them so I excuse myself and head to the dining room bar, I've had enough of champagne so I decide to order a cocktail, I pick up their menu and scan it…Hmmm a sex on the beach sounds good right now, the bartender winks at me as he mixes one up and places it in front of me. Okay I may be the only person in this room drinking cocktails right now but I don't care, I just want to get drunk and for this night to end.

**Christian's POV**

I knew I shouldn't of invited her here tonight, it was honestly a last minute decision that I made before I got into the limo to come here. I thought that if I had Macy here with me it would prevent me from thinking about Ana, now I know that my Mother is onto me regarding my feelings for her I need to throw her and everyone else off the scent. I cant risk my friends thinking that there is anything happening between us that would be catastrophic, I don't know what is going on between Ana and Brody right now but this may just be a flash in the pan and they might be back together tomorrow, I cant risk Brody hearing that we have been flirting or disappearing for cosy chats all night, it's too dangerous and despite what happens with their relationship he is still my best friend, I wont betray him.

It's coming up for 1am and I am so ready to wind this party up and disappear, there is only so much ass kissing I can take and I have had my fair share for tonight, I only held this after party so I could introduce myself to some of America's most influential business men. The majority of them are bald, egotistical, chauvinistic ass wipes who think that they are above every other fucker, I get that its business and you have to look after number one, I myself am known to be a bit of a prick but the way they talk to their wives? Fuck I wouldn't talk to a dog that way. Everyone by now is pretty lit up, the champagne has been flowing since 7:30 tonight but I have been drinking water in between glasses, I cannot stand the feeling of being drunk and how it can make a person lose control.

Even though Macy is here I still haven't been able to get Ana out of my head, every time I look at her I just want to grab her and pull her into my arms and kiss her like she's never been kissed before, she looks so unbelievably beautiful in that dress, it clings to her figure like a second skin and the little flesh that she has showing makes her look all the more tempting, the way her long brunette tresses hang on one side of her shoulder showcases her soft and creamy neck, I have never in my life came across a more stunning woman than Anastasia Steele. She is just so perfect, unlike any of the women I have dated before she doesn't care about money and status, she works for what she wants in life and doesn't take any shit from anyone, tonight proved that.

I'm still in shock that she hit Brody, she's this tiny woman that probably weighs no more that 112lbs and from the look of Brody's nose she swung hard, Brody has been calling me all night. I answered less than an hour ago and he sounds shit. He kept asking me where Ana was and what she was doing, who she was talking to and if she was crying or not, I didn't have the heart to tell him that she hasn't shed one tear since he left and that this is the most I have seen her smile and laugh in the short time I have known her. He wants her to be heartbroken over this but she just isn't, its like a whole weight has been lifted from her shoulders and she can breathe again. Before he hung up he told me to keep an eye on her and not let any men talk to her. Fuck if that didn't make me feel ten times more guilty than I already feel, this is exactly what I mean, he trusts me.

"Hey gorgeous, do you fancy showing me your suite?" Macy comes up to me and flings her arm around my neck. Fuck she stinks of alcohol, she clearly just hasn't been on the champagne all night.

"Umm yeah about that" I reach for her hands and pull them away from my neck "I'm thinking of calling it a night soon" She grins and leans in for a kiss but I pull my face back, she doesn't seem to even notice my discomfort about her kissing me.

"Perfect idea, I have just the idea to help make you relax" She starts running her hands up and down my chest and I'm this close to pushing her off of me, I don't really want people seeing her being this affectionate with me, people talk and before I know it it will be all over the press. I knew this was a mistake.

"Macy listen, I'm not in the mood for that tonight, I've had a long ass day and all I want to do is sleep" I see a frown form across her forehead.

"You're not blowing me out again are you Christian?" Oh fuck, she pouts her bottom lip out and if I'm not careful she will create a scene. Time for some damage control. I place my hands on either side of her face.

"No of course not, I was thinking maybe I could take you to lunch tomorrow to make up for it, do a little bit of shopping maybe?" Her eyes light up like a fucking Christmas tree and I know the idea of me taking her shopping fills her with materialistic joy.

"Really?" Fuck I just want to get her out of here.

"Yes really, don't be mad at me please" She grins and latches on to my lips forcing her tongue inside my mouth, I really don't want her here a minute longer so I give into the kiss for a few seconds before pulling back. "I will get Taylor to drop you home" She smiles and nods as I call Taylor over instructing her to take her home. I just hope no one saw that kiss who shouldn't of, like a fucking pap. I scan the room and immediately lock eyes with Ana. _Shit did she see that? _Well of course she fucking saw judging by the look in her eyes, she looks equally sad and pissed off and for a minute I think I might get a repeat of what Brody had but she just shakes her head and goes back to talking with Olivia. Shit I really didn't want her to see that, now she's just gunna' think that I'm into Macy when that couldn't be more further from the truth.

I notice that everyone seems to be in deep conversation with someone or other so I use this chance to sneak off to my suite, I need to make a few phone calls and freshen up. Being in a tux for hours on end is fucking irritating and not my idea of fun at all. I tell Sawyer who is stationed at the entrance that I am going up to my suite and will be down shortly, I need a fucking reprieve.

**Anastasia's POV**

I cant believe he just kissed her, and what's worse he actually looked like he wanted to kiss her, he didn't pull away or look disgusted, he pretty much leant in and went to town and I felt like someone had gripped me by the throat stealing all my breath from my body as I watched. How could he? He was nearly ripping his hair out telling me just how little she meant to him the other night, what's changed? Has he gotten over me that quickly? I feel my eyes water up and I desperately try to blink them away before they fall. When I turn back I notice that he isn't there anymore, where did he go? I don't see him anywhere so I can only presume that he has left. I need to find him and we need to sort this all out once and for all.

"Liv I'm not feeling too good I think I'm gunna' head up to bed" I rub my temples and hope to god that she buys it.

"Oh no are you okay? I can come with you if you like?"

"No, no I don't want to ruin your night, I've just had too much champagne I think, you stay and I will see you in the morning" I kiss her on the cheek before turning to walk away.

I spot the guy that has been stood near the door like a statue all night and approach him, he must be Christian's security of some sort so if anyone knows where he has gone it will be him, I quickly glance back and check that Olivia isn't watching me, but she's in deep conversation with some Italian looking guy so I know I'm good.

"Excuse me Sir?" He looks at me but doesn't say anything. Okay.

"I'm looking for Christian Grey, do you know where I could find him?"

"And you are?" Jeez terse guy.

"Anastasia Steele, I'm a friend I just need a word with him" Or ten. He looks dubious to tell me but I just smile sweetly trying to convince him that I'm not a murderer or anything.

"He's gone up to his suite Ma'am, He will be back down shortly"

"It's quite urgent, if you could just send me in the direction of his suite, I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate" Please just fucking tell me.

"He's in the Cascade Suite Miss Steele, tenth floor" Finally!

"Thank you" I smile and dash to the elevator before anyone sees me and punch the button for the tenth floor. The journey to his floor feels like it is taking forever, the elevator pings and I take a deep breath before I make my way out down the hall to his door. I don't even know what I want to say, _Just do it and don't take any shit from him, you've got this. _After I have given myself a little pep talk and stop shifting from foot to foot I give three firm knocks on his door.

At first I don't think he is going to answer but then I hear footsteps and I know he's coming. Deep breaths.

He opens the door still in his tux sans bow tie and jacket, he looks even more mouth watering. I take in his shocked expression as his mouth opens and his eyes widen.

"Ana…What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk" I say bluntly as I literally push past him and into his suite. Wow Olivia was right this is amazing. I walk over to the couch in the centre of the room and throw my clutch down onto it.

"What do we need to talk about?" I spin around and glare at him.

"Seriously Christian? You're asking me what we need to talk about? How about we take our fucking pick shall we" I hold my hand up and pretend to count off my fingers. "How about the fact that you haven't spoken to me all night, you wont look at me, you brushed me off when I tried to talk to you earlier on and last but not least you kissed that slut Macy" I spit out the last part and drop my hand as he sighs and rubs his hand over his forehead.

"Ana look I, I don't even know where to start, this whole night has been one big fuck up, I haven't been blanking you on purpose"

"Bullshit Christian, you have been ignoring me intentionally all night and I've had enough of it!" I know I'm starting to yell now but I don't care, all my emotions of the past week are building up inside me and I cant control them.

"What do you want me to say Ana, this whole situation is just ridiculous and I don't even know what to do about it, You are my best friend's girlfriend, excuse me if I'm not dragging you to any available bathroom and fucking you up the wall!" I try to pretend I didn't hear that last part but my panties are thinking otherwise.

"Don't bring Brody into this after his fucking behaviour tonight! This is about you and me and why you wont talk to me. And why in the fucking name of God did you bring _HER _tonight seriously?!" I'm in his face now and I cant control my anger. "And you kissed her!"

"Only to stop myself from kissing you you god damn pain in the ass!" I gasp and stumble backwards.

"W…What?" He runs his hands through his hair and closes his eyes.

"You heard me, is that what you want to hear Ana? How much it's killing me to be near you and not touch you, to see you with Brody knowing that he is the one that gets to take you to bed every fucking night is that what you want me to say? Do you want to know how much it _kills _me seeing my best friend treat you like shit and knowing there's not a single fucking thing I can do about it. I don't want Macy?! I only kissed her to get her to leave" He takes two steps closer to me and stops right in front of me, I can feel his breath on my face and I know mine is just as ragged as his. "Do you want to know that you were the only thing I was thinking about when she was kissing me? That all I wanted to do was grab you and kiss you and never let you go" He says to me so seductively to me that I think I might faint. I look deep into his eyes and he's looking right back.

"Kiss me" I whisper and can automatically start to lean in. I feel his breath getting closer and I close my eyes just as his lips softly touch mine, it's slow and it's sensual. He nudges my mouth open with his and probes my lips with his tongue, I open my mouth wider and let our tongues begin to dance. This is what I wanted, this is what I needed to feel his mouth on mine like this. He slowly breaks contact with me and I open my eyes, I fear that he might regret what just happened but when I look into his eyes I see nothing but lust and dark desire.

I grab the back of his neck and pull his lips back to mine with force, this time it's not slow, it's not soft it's raw and it's carnal, I thread my fingers into his hair as he kisses me with abandon. Christian slides one hand into my hair and grabs my ass with the other yanking me flush against him, I groan into his mouth as I can feel his erection press firmly into my stomach and it stirs the desire in me tenfold. I slide my hands to his chest and push him firmly making his back connect with the nearest wall behind him, he gasps slightly at me taking control no doubt and I use that to my advantage by sucking on his tongue and biting his lip while I fumble with the buttons of his shirt, _Fuck I can't get them undone _I lose my patience and rip the shirt open causing the buttons to pop and fly in every direction of the room.

"Fuck Ana" He grabs my face in between his hands and I swear if his tongue goes any further down my throat it will come out the other end, I run my hands up and down his chest and over his pecks, he's so firm and toned with just the right amount of hair, I move my lips to the side of his mouth, lower onto his neck and suck all the way down his throat onto his chest. I feel his hands fist my hair tight and I know some of my hair pins are coming loose and falling to the floor. He pulls me back to his lips before grabbing the back of my thighs lifting me.

"Wrap your legs around me" I do and he speeds into the direction of the bedroom, he fumbles with the door handle while I suck on his neck. Once we're inside Christian practically throws me onto the bed and I balance myself on my elbows as he rips off his shirt and throws it somewhere, Fuck he looks like an Adonis, he is so ripped and muscular and I just want to lick every inch of flesh, so I do. I push myself up and lick and suck on his abs making him suck in a sharp breath.

"Ana lie back on the bed" There's something about his voice that makes me just do whatever the hell he asks, I consider myself quite dominant but I just want to lay and take whatever he wants to do to me. I lay flat on the bed and look up at him, he's looking at me with such an intense stare that I feel my panties become even more wet. He bends down and kisses me again while reaching around my back before managing to pull my zip down from my dress, he leans back up and grasps the top of my shoulder strap and slides it off, once that is down he continues to pull the rest of the dress down my body until I am left in just my strapless bra and panties and my Louboutin shoes.

"Fuck Ana you are so beautiful" He chokes out and strokes the back of his knuckles across my cheek all the way down to my breasts and onto my stomach, he reaches the hem of my panties and I automatically lift my hips as he goes to slide them down my legs, he then reaches for my shoes and slips them off my feet as they drop to the floor with a clatter.

"Take your bra off" I sit up and do just that, throwing it somewhere to join his shirt and my dress on the floor. Now I'm fully naked except my shoes and normally I would feel quite shy but right here I feel wanton and desired, _he makes me feel wanton and desired_ he bends down and kisses my throat roughly making his way all the way to the tops of my thighs, I'm a ball of salacious need and I so desperately want him to move his kisses just a little bit higher…Just there _fuck!_

"Fuck Christian!" I moan and reach forward to grasp onto his hair as he gently sucks on my clitoris before stabbing my opening with his tongue, he sucks, licks and swirls again and again and again making me cry out, I want this so bad it's all I have been thinking about since we shared that kiss, he weaves this incredible magic over me and I cant help but be putty in his hands, He flattens his hand on my stomach to keep me still as he continues his delicious torture. I feel myself starting to quiver and tighten and I know it wont be long before I come.

"Right there Christian, Don't stop" He slides one long finger inside of me while he is still sucking and gently thrusts it in and out, one finger turns into two and that's all it takes to make me plummet into the most intense orgasm I think I have ever had, I blindly try and reach for something above my head for leverage as the spasms continue to rack my body, once I start to relax I open my eyes and see him hovering over me undoing his belt and pulling his trousers down.

"I want you so badly" He thrusts his tongue back into my mouth and my hand travels round to his back gripping onto him tightly trying to push him inside of me.

"Please Christian hurry…I need you so bad" He silences me with his lips and I feel the head of his penis rubbing against my wet engorged flesh, he's teasing me and I can't stop the cry from leaving my mouth.

"Christian please!" He rests his forearm next to my head as I spread my legs as far as they will go, he stares deep into my eyes as I feel the head of his penis pop inside of me making us groan in unison. He threads his fingers next to my head into my hair and kisses me deeply as he thrusts all the way to hilt making me scream, his movements aren't slow or gentle in the slightest, he rolls his hips hitting my g-spot and I dig my nails into his shoulder blades making him groan.

"Fuck baby you are so wet and hot" He slides his hand into the crook of my knee hitching my leg up and over his shoulder as he pins my leg there with his arm, I cant move one inch and I feel so full. Fuck I can feel my head hitting the head board as he pounds into me over and over again, I can see the sheen of sweat on his forehead and as a bead drips onto my chest, he bends down and takes my right nipple into his mouth sucking so hard it's borderline painful.

"Is this what you wanted Ana…Me fucking you like this" Fuck I think I could just come with his words alone.

"Yes…Yes Christian don't stop, Just don't stop"

"I wont stop baby don't worry, I'll never stop" His thrusts are becoming more frantic and frenzied and I know that he is close to exploding any minute now.

"Ana…You need to come, I cant last much longer, fuck baby you feel so good…Come now" And that's all it takes for me to fall over the edge into another mind blowing climax. I know I am screaming so loud as I feel Christian thrust sharply three more times into me before jerking and collapsing onto me burying his face in the crook of my neck while he jerks out his own release. I don't know how long it is we lie there for, I softly run my fingers through his perspiration soaked hair as he kisses my neck softly, eventually he leans up and looks deep into my eyes as he slowly withdraws himself from inside of me. He pushes back the hair from my face and strokes my cheek still looking at me. I smile at him and his returning smile makes my heart melt.

"Fuck Ana that was so incredible" He breathes out as he rests his forehead against mine. "Don't go to your room tonight, stay here with me?" All I can do is stroke his face and kiss him softly.

"I'm not going anywhere"

**A/N - Awww finally! Next update will hopefully be tomorrow night guys!**

**I do love your reviews!**

**MrsCTG x**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - Wow! I loved every single one of your reviews about the last two chapters, I know a lot of you are concerned about the fact that technically Brody and Ana are still a couple but if a punch in the face doesn't tell you that it's over then what does! Plus Ana had a night from hell, she discovered her boyfriend betrayed her for a second time and on top of that she is trying to figure out her feelings for Christian but just like one reviewer said:**

'_**the heart wants what the heart wants'**_

**It won't be all smooth sailing from now on, there will still be plenty of drama to come, there a lot of people's feelings at stake!**

**Enjoy this chapter and drop me a review if you love! X**

**Chapter 10 - What now?**

**Christian's POV**

I open my eyes feeling warm. The first thing I notice is how light it is, usually when I wake it's still dark out, I blink my eyes several times to diminish the sleepy and groggy feeling you get just as you wake up and glance to the bedside table and see the time on the alarm saying 9:00, fuck that's one lie in for me. I stretch my limbs slightly and that's when I notice the head resting heavily on my arm. She has one arm slung over my waist and I can feel her warm breath on my chest. I shift slightly and slowly remove my arm from underneath her head hoping I don't wake her, she stirs and mumbles something incoherent in her sleep but doesn't wake. I lean my head on my elbow and gaze down at her taking in the way her lips part when she breathes and how perfect her little upturned button nose is, how her beautiful brunette tresses are spread out on the pillow next to her. _She's so beautiful._ The white Egyptian cotton sheet is barely covering her chest and I cant help but lightly trace the swell of her breasts with my forefinger, she's so soft, her skin is like porcelain, perfect alabaster porcelain.

Last night was more than anything I could ever have imagined. We finally passed out at 3am this morning after multiple rounds of fucking, I just couldn't put her down. Every time I thought I couldn't take anymore I would look at her and see her bite that fucking lip and I was hard all over again. She felt so damn good, so wet and hot and the way she would moan in my ear and drag her fingernails across my back and shoulders. At one point she was spread eagle gripping on to the headboard for dear life, her eyes were closed in ecstasy as I was knelt in front of her leaning back on the balls of my feet pounding into her, just thinking about that visual is causing a tent underneath the sheet, the way her breasts bounced and how she slung her legs up and over my shoulders allowing me to go deeper and harder screaming out my name as she climaxed , I have never blown a load like that in my life as I did right then in that moment.

I lay back down and stare at the ceiling and I cant help but wonder what she will be thinking when she wakes up, will she regret what happened last night? I know she was the one that came to me and pretty much mounted my dick outside in the living area but that doesn't mean she wont regret her actions. She was vulnerable and emotional and had the night from hell, maybe she just needed comfort. I knew at the time I should of stopped and told her to think about what she was doing but in all honesty as soon as she looked at me and told me to kiss her I was a goner. It felt like I had waited years to hear her say those simple two words to me and I just couldn't control myself any longer.

I reach for my phone and see a text from Taylor asking what time it is I want to leave, I quickly type a text telling him I'm in no rush and that I will phone him when I'm ready. I decide to get up and order us some breakfast allowing her to get some more sleep, I quietly put my boxers back on and throw on a white tee shirt and some sweats. I'll shower later. Once I'm in the living area reading through the hotel menu it hits me that I don't know what she likes for breakfast, does she like eggs and bacon? Or does she prefer something lighter in the morning like fruit? Fuck I don't even know if she takes tea or coffee, she made me coffee last week at her apartment so I just decide to go with that, as for the food I order a bit of everything that way there is bound to be something that she likes. We hardly know each other, we haven't had a long talk about our childhoods or favourite countries, I don't know what her taste in music and movies is like, I know she likes to read but that is about all I do know. We both would most probably struggle writing five things down each on each other and our favourite interests and hobbies. But somehow none of that matters, somehow I feel an instant pull with this woman and a connection that I have never felt with anyone else before, its like she just gets me. She's so delicate and precious and petite but fuck she is no force to be reckoned with, she doesn't take any bull shit from anyone and it is the biggest turn on ever. We still need to sit down and have one big discussion about what the hell happened last night? Well I know what happened , we had the most mind blowing sex that I have ever had but what did it mean? What is going on between us and what is going to happen with her and Brody? _Fuck Brody!_ A flood of guilt washes over me, I lean my elbows on my knees and rub my hands over my face exhaling a deep breath, I fucked my best friends girlfriend last night. Okay she might not be his girlfriend right now but she is the woman that he is so desperately in love with, I was the one that he came to right after their first date telling me how he had met this beautiful and amazing woman and how he thought that he had finally found the one, I was the one that he phoned at two in the morning after their first fight asking me how he was supposed to make it up to her nearly in tears saying how he couldn't lose her and that she meant the world to him, Fuck I was the one that he came to when he first slept with her, grinning like the cat that got the cream when he couldn't stop telling me about how perfect she was in bed and how he had never met a woman that made him feel the way he did. And now I know what he means on that one! I think I'm going to be sick, I rush to the kitchen sink and down a glass of water in one go. I can't believe this is happening, I have betrayed Brody more than anyone ever has or probably will in his life, I have betrayed him more than what Ana has, she may have been his girlfriend but we have been best friends for _five years! _I'm pulled back from my sickening internal debate with myself by a knock on the door, that must be breakfast. I tip the kid and ask him to place it all out on the breakfast bar before he leaves.

"Something smells good" Holy. Mother. Of. Fuck. Ana's stood at the doorway of the bedroom leaning against the frame in my white shirt from last night, in nothing but my shirt. Her hair has that just fucked look and her legs look like they go on for fucking miles. Shit I can feel my dick harden and she hasn't even done anything yet.

"Yeah…I umm…I ordered us some breakfast" Fuck am I stuttering? She smiles brightly and pads over to where I am stood and sits herself on one of the stools, Christ I can smell her from here, she smells like strawberries and sex and Ana, it's so hedonistic.

"I didn't know what you liked so I ordered a bit of everything" I say as I take a seat next to her.

"It all looks so good, I'm famished" I can't help but click onto the innuendo there and I feel my lips twitch into a smirk, she notices and smirks right back at me as she plates herself a plate of food, thank god she's a woman with a good appetite, I cannot stand girls who have a diet of salad leaves and water, it's not nutritious enough and they all look so damn thin. Ana's body is the envy of all women, she's so slim and slender but has perfectly shaped curves at the same time, my mind flits back to last night as I held her gorgeous hips in my hands as I drove into her…Fuck don't think about that, I reach down and adjust myself before she notices but luckily she is too focused on her food. We both eat in silence and I can't decide whether it's comfortable or not. Every so often we catch each other's eyes and share small smiles, I think we are both unsure of what to say and how to say it, so I decide I just need to bite the bullet and go for it.

"Ana, I think we need to talk about what happened last night" She puts her cup of coffee down and looks at me, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that has fell forward.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Well, everything. Don't you? What did it mean to you?" She smiles briefly like she is replaying what happened in her head and leans forward and grasps my hand in hers.

"Christian, I don't regret it if that's what you're thinking?" Really?

"No?"

"No, I don't, Last night was the best night of my life" She shrugs like what she has just said is no big deal when in actual fact it is the biggest fucking deal to me. "Why, do you regret it?" Do I regret it? The fact that I will hurt my best friend, Yes. But the fact that I spent the most amazing night making love to the beautiful woman sat in front of me, Never.

"No I don't regret it" Her shoulders sag with relief like she was worried I would say something different. "But Ana we still have a lot we need to talk about, this is really complicated" She sighs and runs her hand through her hair before focusing her attention onto the plate in front of her.

"I know it is, and I know that this wasn't perhaps the best way that we could of gone about things but I couldn't wait any longer Christian, I knew what I wanted and it was you" I swear I stop breathing. I knew she wanted me but to hear that her feelings possessed her just as much mine did me stirs something inside of me.

"I wanted you too, Ana last night was the single most amazing experience of my life and…Fuck it was so perfect and so special" She smiles at me.

"I'm sensing a but in there somewhere?"

"But…What about Brody?" She instantly huffs out a breath and a scowl appears on her face.

"What about him?"

"Ana what do you mean what about him? He is my best friend and you're…Well I'm not sure what he is to you right now but still, this will crush him" She looks down and I see her eyes well up but as quick as the tears come they go again as he rubs her eyes and turns her attention back to me.

"He lied to me Christian, he disrespected my feelings on more than one occasion and I won't be with someone that treats me like that" She lets out a sarcastic chuckle "Okay, I know that sounds a bit rich coming from me after what we have done but he has hurt me more times than I would ever allow myself to be hurt, this isn't the first time she has popped up in our relationship she has always been there in the back of my mind, I don't think he is properly over her and this is why he has gone behind my back to meet her"

"Ana despite what you might think, and this is going to sound really weird coming from me but he does love you" She rolls her eyes at me and snorts. "Ana he does, he's just a fuck head and made a mistake"

"He made the same mistake twice and besides that's not the point, he humiliated me and made me feel like I wasn't good enough" She casts her eyes down again and this time I see a lone tear roll down her cheek.

"Ana don't cry, I don't want to see you cry" I grasp her chin with my thumb and forefinger tilting her head up so she can look me in the eye. "You listen to me, you are more than good enough you are so perfect" She sniffs slightly and dashes the tears away.

"Really?" I smile and lean forward gently catching a falling tear with my lips.

"Really" I whisper and kiss her again, her skin is so soft it's impossible not to kiss. She slowly turns her head and connects her lips with mine, allowing them to perfectly mould together. I bring my hand up to cradle the side of her face as the kiss deepens, she hops off her stool and comes to stand in between my parted legs never once breaking the kiss and flinging her arms around my neck, Fuck I love it when she pulls on my hair like that. I slide my hands down her back all the way down till I reach her perfect little ass, her shirt rides up and I can feel that she isn't wearing any panties underneath _Fuck! _I knew she was only wearing this when she came out earlier. My left hand gently palms and kneads her cheek as my right hand comes around to her crotch and finds her wet folds making her cry out.

"Fuck Christian!" She moans into my mouth before I kiss her with more fervor and apply more pressure onto her clit.

"Jesus baby you are so wet" I stand and lift her at the same time sitting her on the edge of the breakfast bar, I yank her close to me and spread her legs as I rip open her shirt and latch my lips onto her neck sucking and biting but not hard enough so that I leave marks, I kiss all the way down her throat and across her shoulders and sternum making her breath hitch as I circle her nipple with my tongue, I feel her hand leave my hair, sliding all the way down my chest and into my sweat pants, she grasps my erection and starts to slowly stroke up and down, up and down as she bites my ear lobe making my groan like a feral animal.

"Fuck Ana!" I lift her once again turning and dropping her onto the dining table next to the bar, I immediately push her back and rip the remnants of my shirt from her body leaving her naked and spread eagle, I pull my tee shirt over my head and then grab her ankles yanking her to me as I free my erection from my pants. I don't even give her a chance to catch her breath before I thrust into her so hard her back arches off the table and she screams so loud that I'm pretty sure the whole floor heard her.

"Fuck baby that's it" She groans as she reaches for me pulling me down to her, I suck on her neck several times before I stand back up grabbing her ankles and spreading her legs as far as they will go so I can fuck her as deep and as hard as I possibly can. " You feel so good Ana, does it feel good for you?" She can't even get a word out she just nods erratically and moans over and over again, I know I'm not going to last much longer so I slow my thrusting down making her cry out in frustration.

"Don't worry baby I'm not stopping, I just don't want this to be over yet" I pull out and flip her over making her yelp, I make sure her feet are planted firmly on the floor before I ram back into her again, I can vaguely hear a consistent vibrating sound in the distance but right now I couldn't give a flying fuck what it is, I grab a fistful of her hair and yank back roughly making her back arch into a perfect 'S' Shape, Fuck I'm gunna' come if I concentrate on that visual in front of me much longer, She reaches her hand up and wraps it around my neck pulling my hair.

"Savage" I growl in her ear making her grin as she turns her head and thrusts her tongue into my mouth, this is so hot. I can feel my legs stiffen and my balls feel like they are going to explode at any minute now, I reach my hand round and rub her clit furiously making her scream my name.

"Come on Ana give it up, I need you to give it up for me" And she does, thank fuck for that. I pump only two more times before I detonate inside of her causing my legs to give out, I fall forward and collapse on top of her trapping her in between my body and the table. Holy mother of fuck that was intense! We're both breathing heavily and it takes us several minutes to calm down and when I do something hits me.

"Ana?" I grumble into the side of her neck.

"Yeah?"

"Please tell me you're on the pill" She giggles breathlessly making me grin against her skin.

"Of course I am, do you really think I would of let you do _that_ if I wasn't" I pull out of her making her wince and I help her to stand, smirking when her legs wobble a bit.

"Oh I don't know, I think you wanted my dick that much you wouldn't of cared" I grin at her as she slaps me on the hard on the chest and bends down to pick up the shirt that I ripped off of her minutes ago. I hear that damn vibrating noise again and quickly realise that it's Ana's phone. She goes to retrieve it from her purse on the couch where she left it last night and digs it out.

"Shit it's Olivia"

"Well, don't answer it"

"If I don't answer it she will think something is wrong and hunt this hotel down until she finds me"

"Oh fuck, okay then well make it quick and don't tell her you're here" She rolls her eyes at me.

"Please I'm not an idiot" She clicks the accept button.

"Hi Liv…Yeah I'm fine…Sorry I was sleeping I've only just woken up…No! You don't need to come to my room I'm just about to take a shower…Yes I'm sure I'm fine…I'll ring you soon okay? Okay bye" She releases a deep breath and flops down onto the sofa.

"Did she buy it?" I ask as I pull my tee shirt back over my head.

"Yeah I think so, she said her and Kate were going down to the restaurant for breakfast" She rubs her forehead and looks at me "So, what now?"

"I do believe we were in the middle of a conversation Miss Steele"

"Oh yes, before you attacked me with your penis" She grins at me and I cant help but laugh.

"I attacked you? Oh baby don't play the innocent with me" I stretch out my hand to her and pull her up wrapping my arms around her waist locking my hands together behind her back. "How about we shower and pick up where we left off?"

"The conversation we were having or the sex?"

"The conversation you insatiable minx" I kiss her softly "Although, I could easily be persuaded into the sex" I smirk at her and smack her ass as I drag her into the bathroom.

One hour later we are showered and dressed, I had to phone Taylor to fetch Ana's bag from her room and bring it to her, he's not an idiot. He knows why she's here but right now I can't think about that, he is the last of my worries. I'm in the bedroom waiting for Ana to come out of the bathroom and I decide to answer some emails, shit I get more and more of these each damn day I swear, while I'm scrolling through a text comes through from Brody. I take a deep breath and open it.

_Have you seen her this morning? Is she coming home? Please tell her I need to see her and that I love her_

That makes my legs buckle and I have to sit on the bed before I pass out.

"What's wrong?" I look up and see Ana come into the bedroom, she's wearing a gray deep v-neck, long sleeved sweater shirt tucked into high waisted leather look pants that look like they have been fucking painted on her with black suede heeled ankle boots. Her hair is flowing down her back in natural waves and her make up looks effortless and flawless. She takes my breath away.

"You look so beautiful" She smiles shyly at me and bites her lip.

"Are you okay?"

"Brody just texted me" She's standing stock still and I can't tell if she is affected by that news or not.

"What did he say?" I decide to just let her see for herself and hand her my phone. She takes it from me and reads it, blinking several times before handing it back to me.

"What does he expect me to do? Run back to him as soon as he clicks his fingers?" I run my hands through my hair and stand up.

"I think he just wants to talk Ana"

"Well I don't want to talk to him, he can rot for all I care"

"You don't mean that?" I cant believe she actually said that.

"Yeah I do, he treated me like shit Christian! Am I supposed to just roll over and play nice?" She crosses her arms and glares at me.

"No of course not, just hear him out!"

She narrows her eyes at me "Why are you defending him?"

"He's my best friend Ana!" I'm yelling now

"Oh yeah? Well he wasn't your best friend when you were fucking my brains out!" Ouch. That hurt. She blinks and shuts her mouth realising what she just said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that it just came out"

"It's true though isn't it" I sit back down on the bed and lean my head in my hands "I'm a fucking terrible friend" I feel the bed dip and I know she is sitting next to me.

"No you're not a terrible friend at all, we both did this" She puts her hand in my hair and massages my scalp softly

"But I started it, I started all of this. If I hadn't of kissed you that night in your apartment, if I had just left you alone"

"Christian stop it, this wasn't your fault, if I remember correctly I wanted you to kiss me that night " She cups my cheeks with her hands and turns my head so I can look at her "Just like I wanted to kiss you last night, and this morning and right now" She whispers before she presses her lips firmly against mine, lingering for a few seconds before pulling back and resting her forehead against mine.

"What are we gunna' do Ana?"

"I don't know, but you're right, I do need to go and talk to him" I look her deep in the eyes and nod.

"I think that's the best thing to do, Come on I'll drive you" I kiss her forehead and stand. She grabs her bag and I pick up my keys up off the counter before collecting my own bag. I open the door and check that the coast is clear before taking her hand in mine and pulling her briskly down the hallway, I speed walk us out of the hotel releasing her hand as we do so, the last thing we need is for the press to get a picture of us locked in any sort of embrace. I give the valet my ticket and tell him to make it snappy. Once he brings my R8 around I open the passenger's door and tell Ana to get in.

"Nice car" She smirks at me and I grin back "So it's not just women you have good taste in" Naughty little kitten.

"Evidently not" I park the car in reverse and spin out of the hotel. I'm apprehensive as we make our way back to Ana's apartment and I can tell she is too, she's gazing out of the window and chewing on her thumb nail whilst constantly tapping her foot. I place my hand on her knee and squeeze gently making her head jerk towards mine.

"Relax" I give her a reassuring smile and she returns it nodding. I know this will be tough but she cant ignore him forever, he may have been an ass but he still needs closure one way or the other. It doesn't take long for me to pull up 'Urbana Apartment's Ana and Brody's block. I don't park right near the door in case one of Ana's neighbours sees her getting out of my car and reports back to Brody. She unclips her seatbelt and exhales deeply.

"What am I going to say?"

"I don't know, just go with it that's all you can do"

"I don't know if I'm ready for this Christian" I take her hand in mine and kiss her knuckles lightly. I don't want her to be nervous.

"Hey look at me" She turns her head to me "It will be okay I promise" I brush the back of my hand across her cheek before pulling her in for a long deep kiss, I try and convey everything I am feeling with this kiss, all of the hurt and the anger, all of the lust and the desire, it's all in this moment. After what feels like hours I pull away. If I'm being honest with myself I never want her to leave this car but we have to do this.

"Call me later okay?" She nods and kisses me one last time before opening the door and climbing out, I click the unlock button for the trunk so she can get her bag and I watch her as she walks away and into the lobby doors. I text Taylor telling him I left the Fairmont and to meet me at Escala. I need a run.

**Anastasia's POV**

I fish my keys out of my purse and unlock the door to my apartment. I am absolutely dreading this. I creep inside to find the place bathed in darkness, the drapes are shut and there are no lights on. I drop my bag near the door and head further inside until I reach the living area. Brody is slumped in the arm chair in the far corner of the room still in his tux and swigging from what looks like a bottle of Jack. He still hasn't noticed me yet, even though it is dark it isn't pitch black so I can make out his appearance, I can tell from the state he is in that he hasn't moved from that spot all night and if he has it was most probably only to get more drink. His head in his hands and I can hear him sniffling so I know he has been crying. My heart jumps out of my chest, I don't want to see him broken like this. I didn't want this to happen but he brought all this on himself. I decide it's time I made myself known.

"Brody?" His head snaps up and I'm met with his bloodshot eyes, fuck he really has been crying.

"Ana?" He chokes out and is looking at me like he hasn't seen me in years. He shakily stands up and moves toward me like he is going to hug me but I take two steps back telling him that's now what I want. He cant disguise the hurt in his eyes and I look down at the floor, I cant stand looking at him when he looks at me like that.

"Ana, I'm so sorry, I know you don't believe me but I am" I actually don't even know what to say right now, so I decide to just go for it and not waste any more time.

"I think you just need to save your apologies and tell me what happened?" He looks at me like I have grown two heads.

"I have already told you what happened"

"No, you told me what happened the first time, if that was even the truth?"

"Of course it was the truth!"

"Well then you need to tell me what happened on Sunday night!" I walk over and rip the drapes open making him cover his eyes with his hands to stop himself being blinded by the sunlight no doubt. I pick up the half empty bottle and slam it on the kitchen counter, I will not have my home look like a fucking whore house.

"Sit down" He frowns at me and I just point to the couch trying to make myself clear. He sits down and I pull out a bag of frozen peas telling him to hold them against his nose for a few minutes. I really did a number on him, it just looks red and swollen with a dark circle of bruised flesh appearing. It's gunna' be a real shiner.

After about five minutes I ask him again to tell me what happened Sunday night.

"I found myself at this bar after our fight and was drinking pretty much my body weight in bourbon" I roll my eyes, there's a surprise "While I was there I got to thinking about us and what the hell was going wrong, I knew I fucked up going to see her the first time but I knew that wasn't just it there was more, I knew that you thought I had slept with her when I didn't. I swear I didn't" He takes a deep breath "I figured out there was only one way that I could fix it, I called Evie and told her to meet me, she arrived and pretty much thought I called her for a hook up but I didn't. I called her to try and convince her to talk to you, tell you that nothing happened between us and that nothing ever would, of course she laughed and got bitchy about it. And that's when I realised that I fucked up and never should of got in contact with her again. I swear that's all that happened Ana. I left straight away and came home to you"

I think my mouth is hanging open "Brody…How could you be so stupid?! Don't you realise even if she had agreed to speak to me I never would of believed her?! Hell I didn't even believe her last night until she got her phone out and I saw the proof!" He looks at me with teary eyes and I know he is so close to crying, I cant believe he thought that was a good idea.

"I'm so sorry Ana, I know now it sounds ridiculous but at the time it was the only way" It was the only stupid way.

"Brody I need you to be honest with me, and don't lie to me I have had enough lies" He nods at me and I know he is dreading what I am about to ask him.

"Are you over her? Like really over her?" He looks like I've just slapped him…Again.

"Of course I am! How can you even ask me that?!"

"Because you have lied to me repeatedly about seeing her and there must be more to it than that!" Then I remember something "When she tried to kiss you last week at her apartment, did you kiss her back?" His whole body freezes, he stops fiddling with the bag of peas in front of him and he slowly raises his head to look at me.

"W…What?"

"You heard me, did you kiss her back?" He starts to chew on his thumbnail and I start to feel nervous.

"Brody? Tell me"

"Ana I…I didn't kiss her…"

"But?" A tear spills down his cheek but he tries to wipe it away as fast as it falls.

"For a minute, for a split fucking second I thought about it, I thought about it but then I realised just how stupid I was and what I was risking and pulled away" Oh my god.

"You kissed her?!" I choke out and stand from the couch walking to the other end of the room. He jumps up to follow me and tries to grab my arm but I roughly yank it back.

"Baby please listen to me, I had a weak moment, she started to talk about how things used to be between us and for a minute I was reminiscing and she caught me off guard I swear! She's my ex and we have a lot of history I was just stupid!" I swear I'm gunna' stop breathing in the minute, he has been playing me for a fool this entire time. I knew he wasn't over her I should of just gone with my gut.

"You are a lying bastard Brody!" I smack him in the chest repeatedly and he doesn't even try to defend himself.

"I'm so sorry" He's crying bucket loads now and so am I "I love you Ana, I love you so much"

"Yeah well…Maybe that's not enough" His eyes widen and he chokes back a sob

"What do you mean?"

"I mean maybe your fucking 'Love' isn't enough anymore, maybe _we _are not enough anymore" And it's so true. I was convinced that I would come home tonight and confess to him about sleeping with Christian last night. But the truth is, right here and right now, this decision has absolutely nothing to do with Christian. Brody has slowly turned into a person I don't even recognise anymore and it's all in the space of a week. He has just admitted to me that he wanted to kiss his ex girlfriend, he says he loves me but does he? Like really love me the way I thought he did?

"No, Ana you don't mean that? Tell me you don't mean that"

I dash the tears away from my face and take a deep breath "Yes Brody I do mean it, I cant do this anymore, I think we just need to take a step back from this before we hurt each other anymore" He goes to grab my face but I just jerk it away, I cant bare to have him touch me.

"I will go and stay at Kate's until we sort something out, we need space"

"No we don't, I need you!"

"Just stop Brody! This is over, now I'm going to the bathroom to freshen up, don't try and follow me" I turn quickly and grab my bag before he can say or do anything else and dash to the bathroom. Once I'm in I lock the door and splash my face with water. I can't believe what has just taken place right now, I never thought I would ever leave him, he was my boyfriend and I loved him. But he isn't the same man that I fell in love with a year ago and I need to accept that.

_Can I come and stay with you for a few days? - A _I quickly text Kate whilst I dry my face and brush my teeth.

_Of course you can you never even have to ask Steele, are you okay? - K _

_Thank you. And I'm fine. We're over - A_

_I'm so sorry sweetie, me and Liv are on the way back from hotel now, I will be home in twenty - K _

Oh shit! I never even let them know that I left the Fairmont, they must of just thought that I had come home to talk to Brody, which I did do technically.

I decide that I need to speak to him, so I pick my phone up and dial his number turning on the faucet to drown out the noise, he picks up on the third ring.

"Ana?" I close my eyes. Just his voice alone soothes me.

"Christian, I just needed to hear your voice, I hope you don't mind" I whisper and I can almost hear him smiling on the other side.

"Of course I don't mind, are you okay?"

"Yeah I think so, it's over" He's silent for a minute and it kills me not knowing what he is thinking.

"Did you tell him…About us?"

"No, I didn't, I half expected me to do so but things never got that far"

"What do you mean?"

"It's one long ass story that I need to talk to you about in person really, Listen I'm going to stay with Kate for a few days until I get myself sorted, it might be hard for me to get away and see you but I'll try" And it will, Kate will be watching me like a hawk.

"It's okay Ana we will figure something out" I cant help but smile.

"Promise?" This time I defiantly hear his grin.

"I promise, I have to go baby I'm expecting a call from Argentina any minute, I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay, speak soon"

"Laters baby"

**A/N2 - So now the fun can really begin! I know I said that before but I mean it now haha! And believe me the drama is only just beginning!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 - You can always rely on your friends**

**Anastasia's POV**

"So come on Steele spill, you have been quiet all day and it's time you let it out" Kate says to me as she sets out three shot glasses on the coffee table in front of us and un screws a bottle of tequila. I've been slumped on her couch in my pyjamas ever since I arrived five hours ago.

"What do you expect Kate I have just left my boyfriend, I think I have the right to be a bit off, and I don't want tequila" She rolls her eyes and pours me a shot anyway. Oh god tequila never ends good for me, and added with the fact that I am an emotional wreck right now it would end up even worse.

"Tequila has got me through every bad break up I have ever been through, every ass hole that has cheated on me has well and truly been forgotten about., all thanks to my friend here" She holds up the bottle to validate her point.

"Well who's the third glass for?" Just then the intercom for Kate's door sounds.

"That could not of timed more perfectly" She bounces up and presses the buzzer leaving the door on the latch. Two minutes later Olivia comes through the door and straight over to where I am sat flinging her arms around me and stroking my hair.

"It's okay you need to let it all out Ana, have a good cry you will feel so much better" I hear Kate laughing next to me as I struggle to break free from her hold.

"Olivia I'm fine I don't want to cry, you can stop squeezing me now…Olivia I can't breathe!" Eventually she releases me and I look at my two best friends. "What is this?"

"An intervention, you have been staring at that same spot on the wall for hours now Ana I hate seeing you like this, you need your girl's around you" I bring my leg up and lock my hands around my knee. I'm actually okay, I'm sad and hurt but I thought I would feel a lot worse than I do.

"Guys you don't need to worry about me I'm okay" Olivia waves me off like I'm talking shit and grabs the shots handing one to Kate and then to me.

"Nonsense Ana give it a few hours and you will be crying that pretty little heart out and we need to be here for you when you do" Jeez thanks. "Now toss that back and tell us what happened "Olivia takes hers and Kate follows suit, Ahh what the hell they will only bug me all night if I don't. I lean forward and throw it back feeling that all familiar burn travel down my throat. Ughh that first one is always a killer.

"Where do you want me to even begin?" I sigh.

"The beginning! We know why he met with the bitch the first time which by the way" Kate holds her hand up and tilts her head to the side "I never truly bought when you told me his side of the story, but the second time! Give me strength! Or a sledge hammer" I can't help but laugh, Kate and Brody have always got on well right from the off but she never hid the fact that if he hurt me she wouldn't think twice about cutting his balls off with a rusty knife.

"He said he wanted her to tell me what had really happened between them once and for all, he thought I never believed him and that she could clear his name" I hear Kate scoff.

"Bull shit! Why would you ever believe that whore anyway!"

"That's what I said!" I shake my head "Anyway that wasn't the deal breaker for me to leave not really"

"What was it?" Liv asks as she leans back into the couch and turns her whole body to me.

"He said that when she went to kiss him, He wanted to kiss her back" Weird how saying it out loud makes it feel more real. I feel the tears prick the back of my eyes.

"That bastard! You wait till I get my fucking hands on him" Kate yells as she forcefully picks up the bottle and refills the glasses. Olivia is rubbing my arm and stroking my hair as I feel a tear spill over and roll down my cheek. "No! No crying Anastasia Rose Steele he's not worth it! Here have this" This time I don't need asking twice, I take the glass and throw the tequila down again.

"I can't believe he would do that, he is so obsessed with you"

I let out a sarcastic chuckle "Clearly not obsessed enough, of all the women he could want to cheat on me with why her?"

Olivia tucks my hair behind my ear and wipes a falling tear away with her thumb. This is where I couldn't have two more different best friends. Where Kate is so strong and forceful Olivia is so gentle and sweet, but together they are both so fiercely protective over me and would do anything to prevent me from getting hurt.

"Because he's a man Ana and that's what men do, they lure you in and then piss all over your heart while laughing….You know what I don't get?!" Kate shouts making both me and Olivia jump. "Why the fuck would he take you out and introduce you to the guys still after that?" You make a valid point Katherine.

"I don't know" I sniff "Maybe he was just pretending or something, I cant think about that right now, in fact I cant think about any of it right now I just want to forget"

"Well that my friend is where we come in" Kate hands us both another shot and we clink "Fuck men and fuck relationships"

One hour later and half a bottle of tequila down we are all a bit tipsy, Kate and Olivia have both joined me in pyjamas and we have just ordered a pizza, times like this make me realise how lucky I am to have these two in my life, they never fail to cheer me up and make me smile even when I am at my lowest.

"So, Kate come on, what's going on with you and Elliot?" I ask as I roll to my side leaning myself up with my elbow on the sofa and resting my head on my hand. Olivia is sat in the other corner and we have our legs draped all over each other and Kate is sat on the floor Indian style next to the coffee table.

"Ughh you know just as much as me Ana believe me, nothing ever seems to change between us"

"You hooked up last night though didn't you" I ask as I reach for my wine glass, I decided that we had had enough tequila for one night and it was time to move on to something not as stiff.

"Yeah we did, and it was so good "Her eyes widen and she releases a breath clearly remembering they're tryst making me and Olivia giggle "But as soon as it's over he pretty much cant wait to throw me out again, I think I'm starting to feel more for him then just sex but I would never tell him that because I know he doesn't feel the same way" She sighs and runs the tip of her finger around the rim of her glass.

"Kate I think you would be surprised, Elliot is just a typical guy with no idea how to convey how he really feels, I see the way he looks at you" Olivia sighs.

"You think?" I have never seen Kate look so nervous or unsure of herself as she is looking right now.

"I know so" I smile at her and reach over stroking her hair, she deserves someone to love her properly and not just use her for casual sex, Kate is a beautiful woman with a body to die for, but she also has a heart of gold and once you crack through her exterior she would do anything for you, Elliot Grey would be lucky to have her in his life.

"Anyway" Kate turns to look at us with a sly grin all over her face "I wasn't the only one who hooked up last night" Oh fuck! I feel my whole body freeze and I know my eyes are near enough popping out of my head. How does she know? Did Christian tell Elliot? Just as I am about to confess my sins I hear Olivia squeal next to me.

"How did you know!" What the fuck? Kate bursts into absolute hysterics next to me and I know I am looking at her with a more than shocked look on my face whilst she has both her hands over her mouth and reaches for the cushion to hide behind.

"Olivia Thomas! Are you admitting to what I think you are admitting to?!" She shakes her head and buries her head deeper into the cushion.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god I am so embarrassed!" I join Kate laughing and sit up pulling her hands away from her face.

"Don't be embarrassed you silly! Tell us what happened and with who!" She smiles shyly and sits up straighter in her seat.

"Wait before I tell you all do you already know Kate?" Kate can't seem to find her voice as she struggles to stop laughing, eventually she takes a calming breath and turns to us.

"I might do" She smiles sinfully and Olivia throws the cushion at her hitting her in the head.

"Oh my god you do know!"

"Wait I don't know so tell me!"

"Olivia spill the fucking beans don't be a wimp the deed is already done!"

"Okay okay! It was Blake"

"WHAT?!" I yell and nearly fall off the couch I sit up so fast. "What the fuck, how…When? How?!"

"After you had gone back to your room and you were pretty much MIA with Elliot, we got talking and had a few drinks and before I knew it we were in his room and kissing and then I blacked out and cant really remember much but I did wake up in his bed naked so I'm guessing we did it right?!" She gets out all in one breath with eyes wide as saucers.

"Olivia did you have a one night stand and you cant even remember?" I mock gasp and grin at her expression, Olivia has always been so straight laced so this is so out of character for her. She too is so beautiful and she never fails to have men falling at her feet but she hates casual sex and has always had long term relationships, I know she will be mortified that we know this.

"I know I know I'm a slut!"

"You are not a slut, you are 24 years old I have been waiting so long for this day" Kate jibes and Olivia just narrows her eyes at her.

"Wait, how did you know?"

"Aah well, Blake told Elliot this morning and Elliot couldn't resist telling me before we left earlier"

"Wait you mean you knew all day and never said anything?!"

"I couldn't bring myself to tell you I knew, not until now"

"Well just pretend you never heard, because I am pretending it never happened okay!" She reaches for her wine and drains it before shoving her glass it in Kate's face "Fill me up!"

**Christian's POV**

I've been holed up in my study for hours, busying myself with contracts, spreadsheets, financial reports and emails, anything I can get my hands on. I need to keep my mind busy and off of Ana as much as I can. Not that anything I do helps me fucking do that, It's just impossible she floods my every waking though, this is all so surreal. We have slept together and her and Brody are no longer a couple, I still don't know what that means for us in all honesty. Are we a couple now or what? We both have feelings for each other there is no denying that, it's too late for us to pretend that this was just a one time thing, I know if we didn't have to leave for her to talk to Brody I would have thrown her back in my bed and never let her leave. I'm so out of comfort zone here, even if this wasn't so complicated with her being my best friend's ex girlfriend I still wouldn't know how the hell to go about this, Ana is the first woman that I have had real, genuine feelings for and it scares the living shit out of me, I want more than just sex with her I want to be with her, I want to take her out and impress her. Ha! Since when did I ever have the need to impress women, usually they just fall at my feet but I have to remember that Ana is no ordinary woman, she is so special and amazing and she deserves to have everything. I rub my palms across my face several times vigorously and push my hair off my forehead. This is all such a big fucking mess, my best friend is most probably sat at home drowning his sorrows over losing his girlfriend and I am thinking of ways in which I can impress her?! My Blackberry starts ringing and I see Elliot's name on the screen, Fuck I really can't be bothered to hear about the pointless shit that he is ringing me for, but he will only turn up here if I don't pick up.

"Christian we have a problem"

"Well, hello to you too Brother"

"Don't be an ass, I need you to stop whatever boring shit you're doing and get to Brody's" _Shit_

"Why?"

"Has he not phoned you?"

"No I haven't spoken to him since last night, why what's up?" _Yeah that's it you play dumb you prick_

I hear Elliot sigh "Ana's left him, I guess she couldn't get over what he did this time" _Yeah that or the fact I fucked her within an inch of her life._

"No way, how is he is he okay?"

"Would you be okay if you lost a woman like Ana? He's a fucking mess Christian I called him and he sounded like he had been crying for an hour solid. So we need to get round there and check on him" Fuck I cant go round there.

"Why can't Dylan or Blake go?" Well that made me sound like a inconsiderate ass, and I know Elliot is thinking the same thing by his moment of silence.

"Dylan can't as Megan is sick and Blake is at work, anyway why don't you want to go? He's our best friend Christian?" I fucking know!

"I'm just up to my neck in work Elliot, with the benefit and everything I'm so fucking behind"

"So what! It will still be there when we're done Christian, Brody needs us now, I will meet you there in thirty" And before I get the chance to say anything else he hangs up. Fuck how am I supposed to go and comfort my friend when I betrayed him by sleeping with his girlfriend? What the hell do I even say? I do know one thing though, Elliot will chew my ass if I don't show up.

"Taylor!" I yell as I leave my study, I know he cant be far.

"Yes Sir?" He emerges from around the corner, see not far.

"I'm heading to Mr William's apartment"

"Shall I accompany you there Sir?" He asks as he crosses his arms behind his back.

"No that won't be necessary I'm just informing you, I will take the R8" He nods at me and I make my way down to the underground garage, I feel like a kid starting school for the first time, my stomach is in my mouth and my throat is dry, I have no idea how this conversation is going to fly, Ana said she didn't tell him about us but that doesn't mean he hasn't got an inkling, why didn't he call me earlier? Not that I really wanted him to but I'm just surprised that he didn't, unless it's just what Elliot says and he is in a real mess, which doesn't fucking help me either.

As I pull up I see Elliot's truck come in behind me, good timing.

"I didn't think you were going to show" He says to me as slams his door shut, he's still in his work clothes so he must have been at the yard.

"I said I would didn't I?"

"No actually you were trying to bail on me, what's with that?" He asks as we begin to walk in the direction of the lobby doors.

"I told you I just had a lot of work on, besides are you sure he even wants company?"

"Of course he does, and even if he doesn't want it tough shit" He presses the buzzer for his apartment and I feel sick when I see _Brody W and Anastasia S _next to the button.

"What?" Fuck he does sound like shit.

"Brody, it's Elliot and Christian, let us up?"

"What do you want Ell?"

"See I told you he doesn't want company" I whisper but Elliot just elbows me in the ribs.

"Brody we just want to check you're alright"

"I'm fine"

"You don't sound fine, just let us in okay, otherwise I will kick the door down" After another minute or so of silence we hear the buzzer indicating that he has let us in, Elliot pulls the door and we head for the elevators, when we get to his door we find it already open, guess he didn't want to get up twice. Fuck it smells like a dead dog in here, the lights are all turned on and coldplay are playing in the background, typical break up music right there. Brody is sat at breakfast bar with his head in his hands, still in his tux shirt and pants.

"Before you say anything, I know the place is a fucking mess"

"Hey I wasn't, I'm not your fucking Mother" Elliot pulls up the stool next to him and sits down, I'm stood halfway between the living area and kitchen with my arms folded against my chest, not really sure what to say or do right now.

"How are you doing?" Elliot asks as he slaps his hand on shoulder, a man's version of a hug.

"Fucking fantastic" He scoffs as he takes a large gulp from the bottle of bourbon in his hand, from the look and smell of him he has been on that stuff all day. "My girlfriend has left me, Dylan is practically ignoring me over what happened last night and my whole life in general is basically one big fuck up"

"Dylan is just a stubborn asshole, he will calm down soon enough he wont leave you to deal with this on your own"

"Won't he? Where is he then?" He drops his head in his hands again and Elliot turns to look at me, gesturing to Brody with his head giving me a look that says 'Do something' I decide I need to just be there for my friend right now, even though it will make me such a fucking hypocrite right now. I walk over to him and put my hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it firmly as I can hear him starting to sniff tears away.

"What happened?" I don't know why I even asked him that for the life of me.

"I told her the truth" He says without raising his head.

"What do you mean?"

"She asked me what happened when Evie kissed me and I told her"

"Wait what?! Evie fucking kissed you? When?" Elliot has the same look on his face that I have, he never told us that part.

"The first time I went to see her, she came on to me"

"Well, what the fuck happened?"

"I pushed her away, but I didn't straight away, for a minute I thought about kissing her back" Fuck Brody!

"What do you mean you thought about it?" Elliot is standing now.

"What I fucking say Elliot!" He spits out "She kissed me and it turned me on is that what you want to hear, she was there in her tiny shorts and tank top all over me and for a minute I wanted to take her to bed is that what you want to hear?!" Brody yells and his eyes widen as if he cant believe he just admitted that to us, Elliot and I are just rooted to our spots frozen, is he an idiot?

"Brody, do you know how messed up that is, you basically cheated on your girlfriend with your ex?"

"I didn't cheat on her I pushed Evie away!"

"Not straight away you didn't! You need to start being honest with yourself Man, do you still have feelings for her?" Elliot asks while pointing at him.

"No!…Well no not really, I thought I did but I haven't…I mean come on we all think about our ex girlfriends right?!" I know my face is scrunched up in confusion and when I look at Elliot his face is reflecting the same expression.

"No you don't at all, I know I don't think about Paige anymore, we have been broken up for 3 years and she never pops in to my head anymore" Paige was Elliot's girlfriend at college, they were pretty into each other actually I thought they would get married and go the whole way once, but things just didn't work out for them "Brody I think you seriously need to have a talk with yourself, from where I am standing you are not fully over Evie"

"I love Ana"

"You may love Ana but it's clear you still have feelings for your ex girlfriend, that's not right and Ana has obviously seen that" Brody looks at Elliot for a few minutes and then turns to look at me.

"Is that what you think too?" I have absolutely no idea what to say, I don't think my opinion is actually worth Jack right now. I know that he still looks at me like I'm one of his best friends but the truth is I can never go back to being that again. And the thought tears me up inside.

"Brody, Elliot's right, I don't think you are over her as much as you say you are. It's not your fault, you and Evie had barely broken up when you and Ana got together. Maybe it was all too soon"

"I do love her you know, Ana I mean" He says it as if he is trying to convince himself, I know he loves her. Who the hell wouldn't fall in love with that goddess? But can you be in love with two people at once?

"Just figure all of this shit out before you try and get Ana back" Elliot says to him. Fuck I hadn't even thought of the fact that he might try and win her back, Brody is never one to give up on something lightly but if he still has feelings for Evie would he do that? He nods dejectedly and wipes away the tears that are still staining his cheeks. I can't help it, I walk up to him and pull him into a hug. I grab the nape of his neck and rub his back lightly, I feel like the most terrible person in the world right now, but I love him and I know I always will no matter what happens between us. When he hurts I hurt and I cant help but want to comfort him.

We leave an hour or so later once Brody is passed out in bed, he eventually showered and changed after much persuasion. He still looked shit though.

I head to my bedroom and pull my clothes off and then quickly text Ana

_Can you talk?_

Only minutes pass when she calls me, I know I'm grinning from ear to ear when I see her name on my screen.

"Hey"

"Hey yourself, I wondered when you were going to call me"

"I said I would didn't I, and I never go back on my word Miss Steele"

"Hmm that is true, so what's up?"

"Nothings up I just wanted to hear your voice, much like you wanted to hear mine earlier" I wont tell her that I have seen to see Brody and about his confession, that's one shit storm that she can do without in her head right now.

"Is that right? Well I'm glad to be of service to you Mr Grey" Fuck it does things to me when she calls me Mr Grey.

"Oh baby, you service me alright, what are you doing?" I ask as I lean against my headboard.

"I'm in my room, I've just showered" She actually fucking purrs at me and images of her in nothing but a towel with damp hair flood my mind and I have to rub my dick to try and tame it, when all it does is make it fucking worse.

"Hmm are you naked?"

"No" She says so deadpan that I burst into laughter and I can hear her giggle through the phone.

"Well that just burst my fucking bubble, I can't wait to see you" And I can't, it's only been a few hours but she's like a drug and I'm addicted to her.

"I can't wait to see you either, when do you think that will be?"

I sigh heavily "I'm not sure, we have to be so careful. We don't want to draw any attention to ourselves"

"I know, Kate is the worst person to live with while you're trying to sneak around, she's like a Mom when she's on one"

"I need to see you before I go to Paris though"

"Oh? When do you go there?" I can't help but hear the tinge of sadness in her voice and I realise that I never told her I was going.

"Wednesday night, I'll be gone for two days. I'm there for a meeting and they can't come here so it can't be helped" I hear her sigh wistfully.

"Well, I'll miss you" Hearing her say that makes my face spilt into a grin.

"Come with me" I cant believe I just said that, well I can actually. Of course I want her with me, I don't want to be away from her anymore than she wants me to go.

"What?" She whispers but I know she is smiling.

"You heard me, come with me. Think about it, this couldn't come at a more perfect time, two days of spending time together just getting to know each other with no interruptions"

"No interruptions huh?" I smirk at what she is thinking.

"None whatsoever, so what do you say. You and me, the most romantic city in the world and a huge bed to roll around in?"

"Hmm that is a tough one, but I think you have twisted my arm slightly" She giggles and it's like music to my ears. "But wait Christian, wont it be a bit strange us both being away at the same time?" Shit I hadn't thought about that one.

"You just have to think of somewhere you can say you're going, I will fly out Wednesday as planned and I will send the jet to come and pick you up say Thursday? We don't have to come back until we want to"

"Damn you're good Grey, not just a pretty face and a big dick huh?

"Oh baby I think we have already established that" I laugh at her.

"Yes I think we have, Okay you're on" I know I'm smiling like a fucking Cheshire cat.

"Excellent, I will call you again tomorrow, and Ana?"

"Yeah?"

"Pack some lingerie"

**A/N - I know a lot of you are concerned about the way Ana and Christian have gone about getting together, yes technically they were extremely wrong and shouldn't of but they had fought their feelings for long enough and they were caught up in the moment, and as for Brody he did do wrong by meeting Evie and lying about it. You'll remember Ana and Christian talking about Evie back in Chapter 3 and she states then about her insecurities regarding her even then, so Brody's confession wouldn't of sat lightly with her. It's his ex girlfriend and she feels very insecure when it comes to her. And now you know that Brody is still unsure of his feelings for Evie, as one reviewer said he was very in love with her at one point. **

**Next chapter - Paris! **

**MrsCTG x**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 - From Paris with love **

**Anastasia's POV**

"Are you sure you're up to leaving right now?" Kate asks from beside me looking at me intently whilst I pack my suitcase.

"Kate I need this, a few days to clear my head and get some breathing space, I've cleared it with work and they said it's fine. I'm only going to my Dad's not Mars"

"I'm just worried about you"

"You worry too much Katherine, have I shown any signs of depression or suicide?" I ask with a smirk as I continue to fold my clothes.

"Ha very funny, don't joke that's what I'm worried about" I throw a pillow off of the bed at her while she laughs, I'm so pleased to know that my life is so funny.

Christian left for Paris yesterday morning and I am leaving for Sea Tac in twenty minutes, he wanted to send Sawyer to pick me up but there is no way that I can do that without Kate not noticing so we agreed that I would get a cab halfway then Sawyer would meet me and drive me directly to his Jet. I still cant believe that this is all happening, I'm going to Paris to spend two days with the most gorgeous and sexy man that ever lived, just thinking about all of the things that we can do together without any prying eyes on us gives me butterflies. I had to tell Kate that I am going to Montesano to stay with my Dad for a few days, that was the only place that I knew she wouldn't question me on. I just hope to god that she doesn't phone Dad while I'm away, but then again why would she? Of course then in typical Kate fashion she worried that I was running away and not facing my problems head on, I can't say she is wrong on that one. I'm deciding to avoid the much needed conversation with Brody about Christian by flying off to Paris, I know I need to tell him soon before he finds out from someone else, that would crush him a thousand times more and I don't want to hurt him like that, the thought of telling him that I have feelings for his best friend makes me feel sick to my stomach, then telling him that I have already slept with him, well I literally have to stop myself from gagging at that one. It's been three days since we split and I haven't spoken to him once, he tried calling and texting me so much that I thought my phone was going to blow up at one point but I haven't replied or returned his calls. It's all just bull shit though, if he wanted to speak to me that much he would be round here banging the door down demanding I talk to him, the Brody I met a year ago would do that, this just proving to me more and more that we aren't meant to be together, fuelling my theory that he is still in love with his ex girlfriend. Despite all of this the guilt is still eating away at me, to me my relationship with Brody ended the minute that bitch told me about them meeting in the bathroom, there was no going back from that for me. I knew I would never be able to trust him the same again, but I was still wrong to sleep with Christian, That has just added more complications to an already fucked up situation. We were delaying the inevitable though, it was only a matter of time before we gave into our feelings. The timing just sucked.

"Okay that's me all packed, taxi should be here any minute" I say as I zip my case and flop on the bed next to Kate.

"Why are you leaving so damn early?" She says through a yawn, it's nearly 5:30am here and I cant tell her that I have to leave early because I am flying to Paris so I just make out that I want as much time with Ray as possible.

"You are telling me everything right?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just so unlike you to take off like this at such short notice, I know it's only to Ray's but still, you know you can tell me anything right?" Fuck if that doesn't make me feel more guilty, I so want to tell Kate and Olivia everything but I just cant, it's too risky if it get's back to Brody. Me and Christian need to spend more time together and realise what we want from each other yet, a relationship? A fling? There is still so much we need to figure out before we drag anyone else into this.

"I know I can, BFF's forever remember?" I giggle as she bursts into a fit of laughter.

"God who say's that anymore? But yes you are my girl Steele"

"See me out?" She nods as I pull on my leather jacket and boots, I wanted to be comfortable for the flight so I stuck to jeans and a tank top, ironically much like the outift I wore when I first met Christian. Kate pulls my case to the door for me and opens it before pulling me into a hug.

"What do I tell Brody if he asks where you are?"

"Just tell him the truth, but tell him I don't want him to phone me or my Dad okay?" The last thing I need is for him to call Ray and find out that I'm not there.

"Okay, call me if you need anything" I smile and hug her one last time before making my way out of her apartment and into the waiting taxi, Christian said that Sawyer would be waiting for me outside DeLaurenti's deli at 6.30am ., I check my watch and its just after 6 so I know I'm in good time, all of this is just so crazy, all of the sneaking around and the pretence. I know it's the only way right now but I hate the lies.

_On my way to meet Sawyer now_

_Good, text me before you take off. I can't wait to see you. _And just like that, all of the lies seem worthwhile.

I wake with a start to Sawyer shaking my arm. "My apologies Miss Steele, but we are just about to land, you need to fasten your seatbelt" I stretch my limbs and let out a yawn, I don't know how long I was asleep for but I must of needed it. I buckle my seatbelt and reach into my purse near my feet pulling out my compact mirror, I ruffle my hair and touch up my lip-gloss feeling Sawyer's eyes on me the whole time, I wonder what he thinks of this whole situation? Christian flying out a woman to join him in Paris, they obviously know me and that I am…Was Brody's girlfriend. I feel my face flush as I realise Sawyer will now know what we were doing that night when I asked him where Christian was, fuck they must think I am some sort of slut. Maybe I am a bit slutty but not intentionally, I don't want them to think that I have a habit of sleeping with my boyfriend's friends or anything. Once the plane comes to a stop and the seatbelt signs are switched off Sawyer makes a stand and picks up our carry on luggage before making his way to the exit, the snotty little flight attendant that pretty much sneered at me the whole way through the flight is at the door already waiting for us, I want to reach over and wipe the drool away from her face as Sawyer thanks her, she licks her lips and pushes out her fake chest. Christ could she make it any more obvious that she wants him? She might as well just lay on her back and dangle her panties in the air. Hilariously enough he doesn't even pay any attention to her, he just narrows is eyes at me and nods at me to follow. I smirk at her as she turns puce, she thinks I am fucking him no doubt.

"Hey, we've just landed" I call Christian as soon as I'm in the back of the awaiting SUV like he asked me to. I instantly hear him release a breath.

"Thank god, that has been the most agonising wait of my life"

"Awww are you missing me that much already?" I smirk to myself, I've missed him like crazy too.

"Don't you know it baby, once you get to the hotel Sawyer will bring you straight to our suite okay, are you hungry?"

"I ate on the plane so I'm okay really" I'm not hungry for food.

"Okay well I'll see you soon"

"Okay bye" We hang up and I lean back in my seat taking in the sights of Paris, it's so beautiful with all of the dazzling white lights what look like they twinkle for miles, It's approaching half past midnight here and it's true what they say, the city comes alive at night. I cant wait to go out and sight see properly, the Eiffel Tower is definitely on my to do list without a doubt I just hope that Christian wants to see it as well, the butterflies are swirling around in my stomach like mad, I can feel my palms starting to sweat and I go to rub them on the back of my jeans. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Christian and I have been alone on our own together before? But I know it's because this will be the first time we will be properly alone, no friends, no exes, no paparazzi, and I hope his security keep a distance from us as well, I don't know how comfortable I would be with them following our every move all of the time. It will be just us.

It doesn't take us long to reach Hotel Le Maurice, it's a five star hotel situated in between the Place de la Concorde and the Musee du Louvre, Christian tells me that it's restaurant is also overlooking the Tuileries Garden which makes my heart skip a beat, the thought of sitting at breakfast with that as a view will be absolutely amazing. Walking into the hotel my heart literally drops out of my mouth, Holy shit look at this place! I cannot even begin to comprehend the size of the lobby alone! The hotel has an extremely distinct style to it, contemporary but chic and oh so beautiful, I'm in a daze as Sawyer escorts us both to the elevator and to the 3rd floor.

"It's just right there for you Miss Steele" Sawyer nods at a set of double doors in front of me and before I know it he has disappeared into the room four doors down. Bye then.

I knock softly and wait for what feels like forever, a feeling of déjà vu washes over me as I think back to the night at the Fairmont Olympic, how nervous I felt then.

Christian opens and grins like a Cheshire cat as he sees it's me at the door, his eyes roam my body and he reaches for my hand pulling me inside.

_Holy. Shit._

This Suite is out of this world, It's interior is decorated with classic French furnishings all in the style of Louis XVI. The period furniture is complemented with elegant fabrics and muted shades and it's all so beautiful, I know I am gaping in awe as I jump slightly when I feel Christian's arms slide around my waist and his nose nuzzle my hair breathing in deeply.

"You like?"

"Christian, it's so gorgeous. All of it this suite, the hotel" I turn in his hold and throw my arms around his neck "You" He smiles at me and leans down to rub my nose lightly with his, the touch is so soft and so simple but it feels like a thousand lightening bolts have ran through my entire body, he reaches up and lightly cradles my cheek with his large warm hand while looking into my eyes.

"I missed you" He whispers before bending to touch my lips softly with his making me want more.

"I missed you too" I stand on my tippy toes and press my mouth to his once more threading my fingers in his hair, he groans at the contact and my tongue gains access. I don't think I will ever tire of kissing this man, he makes my whole body ignite with just the smallest of touches, no one has ever made me feel desire the way he makes me feel and I don't think they ever will again, he has ruined me for all men. I feel my breathing quicken and I tug on the hair at the nape of his neck harder.

"Let's have a bath" Huh what? He breaks away from my kiss still leaving his hands on my face.

"Why a bath? Now?" He smirks at my breathless state and bends to give me several butterfly kisses before grasping my hand and pulling me into the direction of the bathroom, I don't want a fucking bath I want him naked in bed with me. The bathroom is even more beautiful designed with exquisite Italian marble, there is a huge egg shaped tub in the centre of the room and two large separate basins situated next to the walk in shower. I swear I will wake up in the minute and wake up alone in bed in Kate's apartment.

Christian walks to the bath and turns the faucet on before turning to me with a sly grin on that sexy face of his, he stalks slowly to me and runs a deft finger down my cheek and brushes the edge of my leather jacket.

"Strip" He whispers so sensually to me that I feel my entire lower stomach muscles tighten with anticipation. "Slowly" I look into his eyes and they have transformed into a dark slate gray, he doesn't blink once he just continues to look at me with intensity. I reach for the lapels of my jacket and slowly pull it down off of my shoulders, I pull one arm free and then the other, tossing it onto a nearby chair. I then grasp the hem of my tank in my hands and cross them pulling it over my head, when I look at him again I can see his lips have parted and his breathing has increased as his eyes travel down to my breasts, I purposely chose a lace bra that stopped just at the edge of my nipples leaving a tantalizing amount of flesh on show, I feel so wanton doing this for him, I'm stood in a bathroom in the middle of Paris stripping for this man and it is such a heady feeling.

"Continue" He rasps out as he stands back several steps and leans against the counter crossing his arms against his chest, fuck he looks hot when he does that. I bend down slowly to unzip my boots and gracefully step out of them and kick them aside with a flourish, I grin inwardly at myself at how confident I'm acting when really I'm a bag of mush inside, he has seen me naked, he knows exactly what my body looks like from the inside out, but having him watch every move I make does something to me. I reach for the button on my jeans and slowly pop it open, watching a small smirk form at the corner of his lips as I deliberately take my time sliding them down my legs. Once they hit the floor I step out of them and drop my hands at my sides leaving me in just my bra and lace panties. I can now hear his breathing from where I am standing and as I turn around and reach for the clasp on my bra he groans audibly not even bothering to hide the fact that he is turned on. I ever so slowly unhook the clip and hold my hands over the cups of my breasts as my straps fall down my shoulders, I turn my head and look him square in the eye as I bite my lip and let the bra fall to the floor. I see him lean off the counter and take two steps forward as if he is going to charge for me but I hold my finger up at him making him halt in his footsteps.

"I'm not finished yet Mr Grey, I do believe you instructed me to strip" He smirks devilishly at me and resumes his spot against the counter waving his hands in front of me gesturing me to continue. I release my breasts and slowly turn as I hook my thumbs in the edge of my panties, pulling them down my legs at an agonising pace, I see him uncross his arms and he stretches his fingers out shoving them in front of his pants pocket as if to stop himself from touching me. I don't give him much of a chance to linger on my body as I stalk to the bath swaying my hips and running my hand through my hair, I perch on the side of the tub and slosh the water with my hand testing the temperature and go to add bubbles with a bottle on the side step next to it, I can feel his eyes burning into me as I carefully step into the bath and sit myself down leaning against the back rest groaning as I sink into the delicious warmth, I turn my head and he is just staring at me.

"Are you going to join me, or are you too busy enjoying the floor show?" I taunt as I lift my wet leg in the air slightly and bringing it back down, he once again pulls himself off the counter and pulls his tee over his head in one swift move _Fuck me sideways _I swallow the lump in my throat as he proceeds to strip by removing his belt and pants tossing them across the room near mine somewhere, I can visibly see his erection through his boxers and I'm not at all surprised to see him standing to attention once he pulls down his boxers. I can feel my mouth watering just looking at it, he's so big and hard and we have barely even done anything yet, knowing the effect we have on each other sexually is intoxicating and I feel myself throb as I watch him step into the tub positioning himself so he is facing me. He grins at me once he's settled and pulls my legs up slightly so he can rest his in between them.

"Thirsty baby?" He asks and he reaches down the side of the bath pulling up an ice bucket with champagne and flutes.

"Oh Mr Grey you do sure know how to woo a girl" He smirks at me as he fills the flutes and hands me one, placing the bottle on the ledge next to us.

"As long as I'm wooing you that's all that matters to me" He leans forward and holds his glass up to me "To an amazing two days in Paris with you" I smile at him as we clink and raise my lips as he bends down to kiss me. He leans back again and strokes my leg with his hand as he drinks.

This is so comfortable, just him and me in a bathtub with no interruptions. I could seriously get used to this.

"So how was it getting away from Kate?"

"Surprisingly easy actually, I suppose she has no reason to believe that I am lying" He nods at me and sips his drink. "I just hope she doesn't call Ray, I cant see why she would but with Kate you never know what she has up her sleeve, I hope the time difference doesn't rat me out either if she tries to call" He just looks pensively at me for a moment.

"She's very protective over you" It's more a statement than a question.

"Yeah I guess she is, she always has been and no doubt always will be. We look out for each other"

"You don't think she will cut my dick off when she finds out about us then?" He grins at me and I giggle.

"Oh don't worry I wouldn't let her cut your dick off, I like it too much" I whisper at him as I raise my foot and flatten my toes against his erection moving up and down slowly.

"Is that so?" He breathes out as his eyes travel down to where my foot is playing underneath the water.

""Mmm hmm, It has very valuable uses to me" I say as I sit up slightly and place my flute on the side. Christian is watching my every move, I scoot forward slightly and replace my foot with hand lightly grasping the base of his shaft moving ever so slowly up and down, I watch as his eyes roll and his head drops back letting out a loud groan. I elevate myself up more and move my hand faster his breathing becoming more and more ragged, I lean down and lightly place my lips at this tip feeling his hands fly up and into my hair as he sucks in a breath. I fist the base once again and slowly drop myself down on him taking him in as far as I can possibly go.

"Fuck Ana" He groans and grips my hair tighter moving one hand so he can push the hair falling in front of my face out of the way allowing me to raise my eyes to lock with his as I continue to suck, I push and pull hollowing my cheeks as I come back up making him damn near cry out, my movements are slow and unhurried and I can taste a small bead of pre cum already, even though I'm in the water I can feel how wet I am just from doing this, hearing his breathing and his groans of pure pleasure spurs me on and I move my hand quicker causing more friction.

"Baby if you carry on doing that I'm really not gunna' last…Oh fuck yeah right there" I know he is close as I can feel his thigh tensing underneath the palm of my right hand, his hips buck forward pushing himself even further down my throat if that was even possible, I continue sucking and licking faster and faster until I hear a roar reverberate from his chest as his legs spasm underneath me and his thick spurts of release travel down my throat, I increase my suction to try and take all of him down and then I continue to lick him dry as I hear his breathing calm and the grip he has on my hair relax. I slowly sit up and wipe the corners of my mouth with my finger and watch him as he slowly raises his head blinking his eyes open looking directly at me.

"Fuck that was amazing" He doesn't waste anytime grabbing the back of my head and pulling me down onto his lips immediately shoving his tongue in my mouth kissing me with so much passion and intensity that I feel light headed. He roughly grips the back of my thighs and lifts me not even giving me a chance to react as I feel him probe my entrance with his dick before he slams me down so hard I scream out and grab the rim of the tub behind his head so I can keep my balance, he sits up slightly and palms my ass moving me closer to him as he thrusts upward hitting the spot where the dull throbbing ache from my strip tease once was, I move my hands back to his chest and scratch my nails across his pecks making him groan so loudly that it only adds to my arousal. I lean my forehead against his and rock my pelvis back and forth, back and forth faster and faster until I can feel my legs start to quiver.

"No baby not yet, just hold it" How is that even possible with the way he is thrusting into me with such determination?

"I can't…I cant hold it I'm gunna' come now…Right now" He silences me with his tongue whilst he rests one hand in the hair at the back of my head and one flat across my back, fuck if we get any closer to each other I think we will become one. I can feel the spasms coming and I know there's no going back now, I grip his hair and bite down hard on his lip.

"It's coming Christian…Yes right there, right fucking there don't stop" I know I'm screaming as my orgasm rips through me, my entire body shakes and I feel myself drop forward but Christian catches me holding my head in the crook of his neck as he thrusts into me so forcefully I can feel him in my womb. The spasms are still rocking my body, wave after wave consuming me as he tenses and stills grunting out his release in my ear. We hold each other for several more minutes just allowing ourselves to calm down, I feel Christian pull my hair away from the shoulder where his head is resting and he turns to press soft, languid kisses all the way up my shoulder blade to my ear and then back down again _Fuck that feels so good_ I feel my muscles slowly quiver once again as all the heat rushes back down to my groin, how is it even possible to want more after the orgasm I just experienced. But Christian obviously feels the same as I feel his dick twitch inside of me. I moan quietly in his ear as my hips slowly begin to rock, his breathing is shallow as his hands move to my waist and he lightly holds me there as his pelvis meets mine, I rock lazily as my tongue meets his in a sluggish kiss, his hand running through my hair, his lips move to my throat and neck and I toss my head back letting out a soft groan. This is so intense and passionate it's taking my breath away.

"Fuck baby you're so wet" He whispers in my ear and bites down on my lobe "Let it go Ana, let it all go for me baby" And that's all it takes for me to fall over crying out his name, but this time I'm not yelling or screaming, I'm whispering his name over and over again until I fall against him limp and spent and totally well fucked. He quietly jerks out his climax still holding me close.

"Jesus Christ Ana what the hell was that?" He pants in my ear as he smoothes my wet hair out of my face.

"I have no idea, but I wouldn't mind doing it again" I grin at him as he gently lifts me and pulls out of me.

"You are so insatiable, but right now I want to get you clean and take you to bed so I can hold you"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Mr Grey"

**A/N - A bit shorter than normal but I really wanted to get this chapter out to you today - More fun in Paris coming up! Please drop me a review telling me what you think (:**

**MrsCTG x**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 - In too deep**

**Brody's POV**

Fuck, this day can just end anytime it damn well feels like it, Elliot has had me on this remodelling job for two days now and I know why, it's to keep me busy and to keep my mind off of Ana. That's easier said than fucking done.

As soon as I go back to the apartment I see her everywhere I go, I see her in the kitchen cooking, I see her in the bathroom taking a shower, I see her in bed…That delicious little ass spread out in front of me as I fucked the living daylights out of her. Damn I miss her and everything about her, last night I just held onto her pillow for the longest time not wanting to let go, I can still smell her body wash and 'Ana' scent all over it, it was both comforting and depressing.

The apartment is mine, I moved in after Evie and I split and after six months I had Ana there with me, but now she owns it with her presence and there's no way I can stay there much longer. If I cant have her there with me then I need to find somewhere else. Somewhere fresh and new with no memories of Ana.

I pull up outside Grey Construction and jump out of the truck nodding to some of the boys as I make my way into the office, Cassidy is in there with her head in a filing cabinet, fuck if that skirt was any shorter it would be classed as a belt. She turns around when she hears me shut the door and her entire demeanour changes, she licks her lip before biting it whilst pushing the drawer to a close and leans up against it.

"Hi Brody" Does she always have to purr like that, it's fucking irritating.

"Hi, I'm just here to pick up some blue prints. Pretend I'm not here" I feel her eyes on me the entire time while I rummage through the shit hole that is my desk for the prints. She comes to stand in front of me bracing against the desk with the flat of her palms sticking her chest out as she goes, I try to make out that I haven't even noticed her presence but it's so hard when you've got those tits inches away from your face. "Can I help you with something?"

"I heard about you and Ana, I'm sorry" She's really not sorry at all, she has been practically trying to climb onto my dick for the best part of two years now, Evie hated her and so does Ana.

"Thanks"

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I flick my eyes in her direction and see her twiddling the ends of her hair with her fingers, by help me I'm guessing she means suck me off.

"No" She moves round to where I am standing and scratches my bear bicep with her fingernail whilst leaning into me and grinding herself onto my leg, Fuck who does that?

"Are you sure, I can be very persuasive" As she whispers this she moves her hand down my chest and firmly grasps my dick squeezing it. I would be lying If I said that Cassidy wasn't attractive, she's one hot piece of ass with tits that play a part in every man's wet dream, but she's so trashy with it, the girl has no class and she would fuck anything that looked her way. No offence to Elliot. I grab her hand and bring it up purposely looking at it in disgust before dropping it.

"What part of no don't you understand? Keep your hands off of me" She just smirks and continues to bite that fucking lip, why do women think that's sexy? Ana does it but unintentionally, and it is honestly the hottest thing in the world, when Cassidy does it, it just makes her look like a deranged lunatic.

"You're so tense, I don't know why you wont just let me help you relax. I know you used to worry that Ana would find out if we ever did anything but she's gone now so what's the worry?" That just pisses me off, like I need anymore reminders that Ana has left me, everywhere I go I get people saying 'Sorry' and 'If there's anything we can do' Unless you can bring my girlfriend back to me there's not a lot you can fucking do.

"And I still don't want to fuck you Cassidy so what does that say, go and find another dick to get yourself off on" I grab the prints I need off the desk and leave her stood in the office like a gaping fish. Heading back to my truck I hear Elliot call my name.

"I thought you were on the Johnson job?" He asks as he stops in front of me.

"Yeah I am I just came back for these" I hold up the papers in my hand to show him and open my door.

"You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine I wish everyone would just get off my fucking back saying that!" He just stares at me but doesn't say anything "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap, I'm just sick of it you know?" He nods and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm just worried about you, I hate seeing you all cut up like this"

"I know, I'm fine…I just miss her"

"Have you spoken to her?" I wish.

"Nah, I spoke to Kate and she said that she has gone to stay with her Dad for a few days, but she hasn't returned any of my texts or calls" I was half ass tempted to call Ray and make her speak to me but then thought better of it, no doubt she has filled him in and he's out for my blood, Ray Steele is not a man you want to piss off lightly, He's ex military and knows how to shoot my brains out without even flinching, his daughter is the single most precious thing in his life to him and I know he wouldn't think twice about knocking me down for hurting her.

"Hey that's a good thing, a bit of space to clear her head is just what she needs, she'll come back and realise that she still loves you I know it"

"You think?" I know that he is just saying this to make me feel better but the sound of Ana coming to her senses and taking me back makes my heart skip a beat.

"I know so, have you spoken to Dylan yet?

"Briefly, he called me apologising for being MIA lately, said he was just pissed off with my behaviour but that's it" Fuck it's like I have been through two break ups this week, Dylan has been pretty much blanking me since Christian's event, He eventually apologised and told me that he felt like a dick, not that I can blame him for wanting nothing to with me, even I'm disgusted at my behaviour.

"I knew he would come around soon enough, fancy a beer tonight at my place? I'll ask the boys"

"Sounds better than sitting at home wallowing over my pathetic fucked up life so yeah why not, Christian back yet?"

"No he's still in Paris, he didn't say when he would be back. Tonight then yeah?" I nod at him and hop in my truck just as my cell starts ringing. Fuck it's Evie.

"What do you want Evie?"

"I didn't actually think you would answer"

"I thought about ignoring it but I knew you would only call me back, what's up?"

I hear her sigh heavily "I wanted to see you actually"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"To see if you're okay? I know I'm probably the last person that you want to talk to but I…I still care about you Brody" I close my eyes and bang my head against the headrest, I don't need this in my head right now I'm still so confused.

Everyone is so convinced that I still have feelings for Evie but I'm not sure what the hell I am feeling, I know I love Ana, I think I fell in love with her right from the very first moment I ever saw her, even when I was still with Evie. But we have a lot of history, I was so in love with her at one point before she turned into a right royal bitch, she was so sweet and beautiful and we were best friends, and I know there is a reason why I was so tempted to sleep with her when I had the opportunity, I was this close to giving in but something inside of me snapped and made me push her away.

Could I ever love her the way I used to? I seriously doubt it now that I have had a real relationship with Ana, I know what real love feels like and I don't get that feeling with Evie. But I know I will always care about her and part of me deep down will probably always want to be with her, Fuck no wonder Ana packed up and left my ass as fast as she did. I'm sat here trying to decide who I loved more? I seriously need to sort my shit out.

"I know that, I have too much going on in my head right now though"

"I get that, can we talk soon?"

"Maybe once I have had some space" I know I shouldn't be agreeing with her and I know sure as shit that if Ana ever knew I had met to talk with her after everything that has happened she would never want to even look at me let alone take me back, but I have to do this. I owe her that much.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise"

**Christian's POV**

"Ana, Ana baby…Wake up" I softly kiss her naked shoulder gently rousing her from her sleep, I feel bad for waking her as I only put her down five hours ago but I want to kiss her before I head to my breakfast meeting, I'm leaving early so that I can take her out into the city as soon as possible, as much as I love being holed up in this room with her hot little body as my very own little play thing, I know she wants to see the Eiffel Tower amongst other things and I intend to take her everywhere that she wants to go, I have a surprise for her tonight that I hope will blow her away, Ana isn't one for flashy and expensive gestures, she doesn't care for materialistic things, it's so refreshing and it only makes me want to shower her with things like this all the more.

"Hmm what time is it?" She croaks groggily as she tilts her head up slightly.

"7am"

"Ughhh why so early?" She groans and buries her head back into the pillow yanking the duvet over her _So fucking adorable_

"Don't be a grouch, I only woke you so I could kiss you good bye" This makes her turn to me as she stretches her limbs out like a cat.

"Where are you going?"

"Breakfast meeting, I will be back around noon, don't go out anywhere we will head out when I get back" She blinks her eyes several times and then sleepily raises herself on to her elbows, how can someone look so utterly beautiful when they wake up? Her hair is a mess, there isn't a trace of make up on her face and I have never seen a more stunning creature in all my life.

"So I have to stay here all morning while you swan off being master of the universe" She smirks at me making me grin, I reach over and tuck her hair behind her ear, grazing the back of her soft cheek with my knuckles as I pull back.

"Yes you do actually, I promise that we will do something when I get back. There's a spa downstairs. Go and use it" I grab her chin and press my lips against hers roughly, god I love her lips "I will see you later okay"

"I suppose I can keep myself entertained for a few hours" She says to me as she flops back down on the bed turning so she is lying on her stomach. "I think I will head to the spa actually, find some gorgeous Frenchman to give me a Swedish massage, I could just to with a pair of strong hands relieving all of my tension" Naughty little minx. I pull the sheet down slightly and wallop her a good one on her bare ass making her jump and yelp out. "Ouch! What in the fuck was that for?!"

"You know what" I say pointing my finger at her "No man will be getting their hands on you're body except me Anastasia got it?" She rolls over leaving her tits on show not embarrassed one iota _I love that_.

"Hmm I love it when you get jealous, you look so hot" Fuck I could just spread her legs right now and fuck her into oblivion for that little comment. Yes I am jealous baby so you better get used to it.

"Don't you forget it" I say with a grin as I straighten my tie "Behave yourself, I will call you later"

"Kay" She mumbles at me but she's already rolled over ready to go back to sleep. I literally have to drag myself away from her and out of the suite meeting Taylor in the hallway. I read my through my emails as we ride down in the elevator and laugh to myself as I see the text I received from Elliot last night.

_How's Paris? Fuck any French chicks yet?_

I grin and shake my head expecting nothing less from my brother, he came here when he took a gap year from college and told me he had more sex here than anywhere else in his entire life, he said the women were practically walking around naked dripping of sex and arousal, one night he had three of them in one full swoop. Elliot is a certified man whore so the fact that he fucked half of the French female population doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I personally haven't given another woman a second glance the whole time I have been here, a year ago…Hell even a month ago I would have been all over them like flies around shit, but not now. I only have eyes for Ana. That woman has bewitched me in every sense of the word. I jump in the back of the car and tell Taylor to step on it. The quicker I get this shit over with the quicker I can get back to my girl.

**Anastasia's POV**

I'm reclined back in my lounger with a glass of champagne in my hand dressed in nothing but a robe as the most adorable woman tends to painting my toenails, she's naturally French but speaks exceptional English, actually if she hadn't of told me she was born and raised here I never would of thought she was. She can't be any taller than 5ft and she has the most petite frame I have ever seen in my life, now I know I'm not big but stood next to her I look like a cow, when she greeted me in the spa lobby I nearly fell off my chair at how tiny she was, yet she still has these breasts on her that look like they belong to a swim wear model _Hmm false maybe?_ She has the most beautiful Jade green eyes and jet black hair and even though its wrapped in a tight bun I can tell it must reach her buttocks.

"Are you married Pascal?" She looks at me and smiles an adorable smile, I just want to put her in my pocket.

"No Ma'am, came close once but never quite got there"

"What happened…That is if you don't mind me asking, tell me to shut up if you like" I want to slap myself for how nosey I sound but when I hear her giggle I can tell she obviously doesn't mind.

"No not at all, he was my childhood sweetheart and I thought we would be together for always. But my Father did not agree with our relationship, he never liked Adrian and didn't bother to pretend he did, once we announced our engagement he was so angry with rage" She looks so sad as she remembers what happened and I feel terrible for asking her now, I just want to pull her in for a hug but realise that would most probably make her so uncomfortable.

"My Father eventually forced him to leave me, said he would destroy his family and their reputation if he did not leave me and never return. That was four years ago and I have never seen him since" I feel a lone tear roll down my cheek as I think about the heartbreak this poor, beautiful woman had to endure at the hands of her own Father, I can only guess that he was a man that you wouldn't want to make an enemy out of for Adrian to leave Pascal without a fight.

"I'm so sorry, that must have been so awful" I wipe my tear away and take a sip of my drink to calm myself down, I don't usually get emotional at other peoples stories but she has touched me in a way no one ever has done before.

"It was tough but I got through it, I left home and found a job here" She waves her hand around the treatment room and smiles brightly at me, personally I don't know how she can be so positive and happy. Having your one true love ripped away from you with no warning just like that, a chill travels down my spine and I can feel Goosebumps appear on my arm, I wrap my robe around me as tight as I can with my free hand to try and get as much warmth into my bones as possible.

"Are you married Ma'am?"

"Me? Oh no I'm not married, there is someone but its not at that stage yet" I smile as I think about Christian, there is still so much that is unsaid between us and I don't even know 'what we are' yet but I do know that my feelings for him are getting stronger and stronger each day and when I'm not with him, he is all I think about.

"I can tell by that smile he is very special to you" I look down at her and she is gazing at me with a look of awe all over her face, I can only imagine that I was sat here grinning like an idiot to myself.

"He is special, we haven't know each other for long but we just sort of clicked you know?"

"I do, and there isn't any time frame on love Ma'am. It always creeps up on you when you least expect it" _Love?_ I didn't say anything about love did I? She smiles at me again and turns her attention back to my toes, I know me and Christian have something strong, possessive and all consuming but could it be love? He swamps my every thought and when I am with him there is not a single place on this earth I would rather be instead. Whatever it is that we have together I know I never want to lose it.

"Thank you for today it was so perfect" I lean against Christian's shoulder as we ride the elevator up to our suite. Just thinking about today makes me smile, once Christian returned from his meeting we headed into the heart of Paris and wasted no time doing the one thing I have always wanted to do, Climbing the Eiffel Tower.

Of course Christian groaned when we got there seeing the horrendous queues that seemed like they went on for miles, I didn't care one bit though, the hustle and bustle is what makes Paris such an amazing city, he wanted to take the elevators so we could enjoy the view that much quicker but I refused and dragged him to the staircase with me, part of the fun is actually getting to the top even though it was an agonising struggle up all 704 steps and only took us to the second floor but it was so worth it, then we rode the rest of the way.

Seeing Christian huff and puff and pant his way up the stairs cursing every word there probably is under the sun was the highlight for me, there I was thinking he was a fit guy? Now I'm no athlete but even I wasn't making the fuss that he was making, seriously at one point I thought he was going to sit down and throw a temper tantrum.

Once we reached the top I could hardly catch my breath, the view was the most mesmerising sight I had ever laid my eyes on and it's something that I know I will never forget. I was actually stood with my hand over my mouth for five minutes, in fact I could have cried, when I asked Christian if he had been here before he shook his head and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me, he said that although he has been to Paris more times than he could count her had never felt the desire to come here as he had no one special to experience it with, it was then that my heart skipped a beat and if he wasn't holding on to me I'm sure I would of fallen straight to the floor.

It was the most amazing moment of my life and I know that I will never forget it, the fact that I had Christian there to share it with me, that was just the icing on the most incredible cake.

"You're welcome, I just want to make you happy Anastasia" He kisses the top of my head and weaves his fingers through mine. Doesn't he understand that he makes me happy just by breathing the same air as me?

"And that you do, Mr Grey" He leads me into the suite and I make my way to the bathroom to pee making sure I have locked the door, I am nowhere near ready for him to see _that _yet. Once I come out I see him sat on the couch talking on his phone, I really hope he isn't working now that we're back, he notices my presence and stands making his way to the bedroom. I know I have a confused look on my face because he just grins at me tapping the side of his nose. Oh so it must be something about tonight.

He has told me that we're going out somewhere but he wont tell me anything else, all day I have fished for hints and clues but he just laughed at me telling me how adorable I looked when I get nosey. I hate surprises.

Five minutes later he re-emerges and sits across the couch next to me pulling my legs up into his lap and pulling my shoes off.

"I like these" He says as he gently traces each one of my red painted toe nails with his ring finger.

"Thank you, I always feel better after I have my feet done"

"So you had fun this morning then?" He continues to brush my feet with his fingers and when he reaches my instep I jump slightly and shiver, watching him grin at me as he continues to tickle me.

"I would have had more fun with you but yeah, it was good. I met the most adorable manicurist Christian. I could of talked to her all day" He smiles at me as I tell him about Pascal and the stories she shared with me, my mind instantly goes back to her story about Adrian and I almost tell Christian but think twice, I would only burst into tears no doubt.

"So for the last time where are you taking me tonight?"

"You are so impatient Anastasia Steele" He checks his watch "We will be there in less than an hour, can't you just wait a little bit longer?" I jut my bottom lip out and pout to let him know that no, I actually hate waiting and I want to know now. He sits up and leans towards me tracing my lips with his fingers "You are so sexy when you pout do you know that?" I cant help but break out into a grin as he runs his hands through my hair massaging my scalp slightly.

"Mmmm that feels good"

"I knew that would get a sexy little moan out of that mouth of yours" My eyes fly open and I smack him on the chest as he laughs.

"You're an ass, and if you wanted to make me moan I can think of a few other ways in which you can do that"

"Oh so tempting you have no idea, but we haven't got time. Come, we need to get ready" He releases my feet from his lap and stands stretching his hand out to me "Shower with me, but keep those naughty little hands to yourself Miss Steele" I mock gasp and place my hand on my chest feigning shock.

"Christian Grey what kind of woman do you think I am?" He bends down lifting me and flinging me over his shoulder making me yelp out as he spanks my ass again.

"The dirty kind and right now I need to clean you" I grab onto his hips to balance myself and slide my hands into the back of his jeans as he walks squeezing his ass tight, he has the best ass I think I have ever seen, so taut and firm, I just want to take a bite out of it every time I see it. "Ana stop it you don't know what you're starting" He teases but I can hear the mirth in his voice, I know he loves it just as much as I do. Once we're in the bedroom I expect him to put me down but he just stalks to the shower and turns on the faucet testing the temperature with his hands.

"Christian what are you doing? Put me down now" My pleas fall on deaf ears as he kicks off his shoes and steps straight into the shower, dangling me under the fast stream of hot water.

"Arghhh Christian what are you doing?! Put me down!" I kick my legs out and smack him on his ass as he laughs and pushes me in further making me squeal louder, even though I'm screaming I'm laughing, just hearing Christian laugh is contagious and it fills my whole body with warmth, eventually he slides me down his body.

My clothes are absolutely wet through and my hair is stuck to my face, I can only imagine what I must look like with mascara smeared under my eyes like a panda, but when I look at Christian he is looking at me with such reverence that my breath gets stuck in my throat, he reaches up and gently smoothes my hair away from my face never diverting his gaze, his hand slides to the side of my face and he ever so lightly circles my cheek with his thumb.

"You. Are. So. Beautiful" His voice is barely above a whisper but I heard every single word as if he was yelling it in my ear.

I open my mouth to say something but he silences me with his lips, I expect him to be rough and demanding but his movements are so soft and gentle, he probes my lips with his tongue and I grant him entrance immediately moaning quietly into his mouth, I feel the wetness pool in between my legs and I want nothing more than for him to pick me up and slide deep inside me right here in the shower, he gently pushes against me the wall and moves both his hands so that they are cradling my face, I run my palms up his chest and around his neck finding the soft, wet copper locks at the nape.

He groans as I twist my fingers in his hair and drag my lips down the side of his mouth all the way to the base of his throat.

"Ana wait, we have to get ready we haven't got time" He pants as my lips leave hot wet kisses on his neck, his hands still buried in my hair.

He thinks he can rev me up like this and then leave me hanging? I push my hands inside his tee shirt and stroke my fingers across his abdominal muscles, he pulls my head back up and crashes his lips back to mine. This time he is rough and demanding and it feels so fucking amazing.

He abruptly pulls away and grabs both of my hands in his holding them in between our chests, I'm a panting, hot, wet mess and I can hardly catch my breath, Christian isn't in a much better state himself.

"I think it's safe to say that we can't be trusted to shower together, so I will let you go first okay" He breathes out and presses a rough kiss against my forehead before swiftly leaving the shower. I can't believe he did that? I can feel the throb in between my legs and I know it will be there all night now, that god damn, sexy bastard.

Once we swap positions grinning at each other, I head into the bedroom telling Christian to make himself scarce for half an hour before throwing the suit he had laid out on the bed at him.

I bought three dresses with me just in case Christian planned a night like tonight, but I already know which one will blow him away. I grab the hair dryer and blow out my hair before styling it into soft bouncy curls with the heated barrel, I have never been one for wearing make up, I find it tedious and pointless half the time, Kate says it's because I don't need to wear it that's why I have no desire to apply any. But tonight I decide to go all out, how often is a girl in Paris with a gorgeous man after all?

I keep my complexion light and flawless with just a hint of pink blush, I line my eyelids with a dark chocolate eye shadow blending it in to a smokey effect , I cant stand eyes caked in what looks like black smut so I decide to keep it natural still, several lashings of mascara and a swipe of hot red lipstick later I'm good to go, I head back into the bedroom and slide on my underwear. I cannot wait for Christian to see what I have on underneath this dress later, I grin to myself as I slip my earrings through my ears and make my way back to the living area to find Christian. He has his back to me as he is pouring what looks to be champagne and I am already drooling at the sight of his suit clad ass and he hasn't even turned around yet.

I cough to get his attention and he quickly turns around coming face to face with me. Holy fuck if I thought he looked good from the back I had no idea what I was in store for once he turned around. He's dressed in the most edible black suit pants and jacket ensemble, he has a crisp white shirt on underneath with the top two buttons undone so I can get a glimpse at the top of his chest and the soft hollow base of his throat that I just love to kiss.

"Wow Ana….You look so beautiful, I have no words right now" I giggle as I walk up to him and fuss with his jacket wiping it over ridding it of any dust or fluff, I feel his eyes on me the entire time as his hands come to rest on my hips lightly

"This dress is stunning baby, I cant believe how stunning you look" I'm wearing a black Herve Leger strapless bandage dress, it has a sweetheart neckline with boning at the bodice and beaded detail throughout the style of dress. Amazing perk of working at Nordstrom, Incredible staff discount.

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself" He smiles shyly and I reach up brushing my fingers against his plump lips feeling the lush softness that lies there, I can't get over how beautiful he is, I think if I were to lay in bed next to him and just stare at his features I still wouldn't get bored.

He kisses me softly several times and turns to hand me a glass of champagne, he never takes his eyes off of me once and I know what that look means, it tells me that he's aroused, and he wants to bend me over right here and right now.

To be honest I'm still hot and bothered from that hot make out session in the shower and if he told me to drop my panties and spread my legs here in this room I would in a heartbeat. _Brazen slut_

"So, still not going to let up and tell me where we're going?" He grins at me and shakes his head as he sips his champagne.

"Oh Ana, Ana, Ana, you are one of a kind have I ever told you that?"

"Hmmm not today, but do feel free to keep telling me I don't tire of hearing it" I laugh as I drain the rest of my champagne and place it on the table "Okay, I have ran out of patience can we _please _go now?"

I watch as he repeats the same action with his own flute and threads his fingers through mine leading me to the front door, I bend a pick up my clutch off the table and follow him. Finally!

**Christian's POV**

I think I have swallowed my own tongue. I am roaming Ana's whole body with my eyes, she is wearing this fucking amazing bandage dress that clings to her like a second skin, she has a tantalizing amount of cleavage on show and all I want to do is lick, suck and kiss them until her legs buckle from underneath her, I honestly don't know how I am supposed to get through tonight with her looking like _that _and expect to keep my hands off of her.

I can feel my dick grow in my pants and I refrain myself from rubbing it to ease the discomfort, I don't want Ana to know that I am aroused right now even though she can probably tell by the way I am eye fucking her, if she knows I'm feeling weak to resist her she will take full advantage of me and we will never leave this hotel room, and I have plans for us.

Once we are in the confines of the SUV I turn my body to face her slightly and gaze at her as she buckles her seat belt and crosses those long luscious legs that I so desperately want to have wrapped around my neck right now.

"Do you trust me?" She turns her head to me and frowns clearly not understanding why I asked her that, I reach into my pants pocket and pull out a red, silk blindfold which coincidentally matches that sinful, red lipstick she is wearing.

I thread the blindfold through my fingers and scoot a bit closer to her "I need you to put this on, I don't want you guessing where we're going before we get there"

She smiles that beautiful smile at me and nods at me granting permission, I reach round and tie the blindfold behind her head and ask her if she can see, when she says no I'm satisfied and kiss her before settling back into my seat.

"This better be good Grey, you are bigging it up an awful lot" She says smirking at me, smart ass.

"Oh don't worry baby, it will be worth it don't stress that pretty little head" It doesn't take long for us to arrive at our destination, I actually feel nervous about this. I don't think I have felt this nervous in…Well ever

"I'm going to come to your door and help you out okay?" She nods and I make my way round to her door nodding at Taylor to proceed to start the preparations.

"Careful baby watch your head" I take her hand and pull her along slightly making sure I go slow so she doesn't trip in her shoes.

"Christian?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I ever tell you I hate surprises?" I laugh at her and wrap my free arm around her waist.

"Only once or twice, now…I'm going to remove the blindfold okay, keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them"

I undo the knot and slide the fold back into my pants pocket and stand behind her placing my hands on her soft shoulders "Okay, open your eyes" She slowly opens her eyes and looks confused.

"The Eiffel Tower? Twice in one day?"

"No baby, we're here for this" I turn her body around by her hips and when I do she lets out a squeal and smacks her hand against her mouth.

"What the…Are we going on that?" I nod my head and nuzzle her neck as she takes in what's in front of her.

We're facing the pier at the foot of the Eiffel Tower and I have arranged for us to take a dinner cruise along the River Seine, only I have booked the whole boat so it will be just us.

Just me and this beautiful woman cruising through Paris.

"Do you like it?"

"Christian" She reaches up behind her and rubs the side of my neck affectionately "This is so wonderful, it's the best surprise I could ever of asked for. Thank you"

She turns her head and kisses me deeply, she doesn't kiss me as if she wants to turn me on and rev me up, it's more of a soft and gentle appreciative kiss.

It still gives me goosebumps none the less.

"Come, let's step aboard" She grins at me and we make our way to the boat, it's beautiful with transparent sides and roof which will provide us with an amazing panoramic view of the sights of Paris.

I have never been one for romantic gestures and all of this hearts and flowers bull shit, but with Ana it all comes naturally to me. I actually want to do things for her instead of feeling rail roaded into like most of ex flings have often tried to do, women who date Christian Grey often think that it comes with meal ticket to an expensive lifestyle.

Hence why they never stuck around for long, there is nothing more unattractive to me than a woman out for what she can get.

"All checks have been completed Sir and all NDA's have been signed"

"Thank you Taylor" I had to ask Taylor to hand out Non disclosure agreements to all the crew on board and to the staff that played a part in arranging this reservation for me.

I have to be careful at the best of times but even more so now, With Ana and I still not being exclusive, the chances of there being a picture taken of us alone on this cruise are second to none and those getting back to our family and friends…And Brody, would be absolutely horrific.

A server approaches us with champagne and informs me that dinner will be served in forty minutes, I look at Ana and she is looking around the boat in absolute awe.

"Christian, where is everyone else?"

"Who?"

"Well the other guests, are we early?" I smile at her and pull her flush against me.

"There are no other guests Anastasia, it's just us" Her mouth pops open and I fight the urge to push it closed again with my finger.

"Just us? On this boat for the whole night?"

"Well besides the crew, yes. Is that okay?" Her face stretches into a grin and she grabs the lapels of my jacket kissing me roughly.

"Do you know how amazing you are? You did all of this for me?" Of course I did, I would do absolutely anything for her, seeing her this happy and care free makes my stomach flip and my whole body tingle.

Seeing that smile on her beautiful face makes me want to give her the world and more, it's what she deserves.

"I would do anything for you baby" I whisper as I stroke her cheek and the atmosphere changes suddenly.

Her eyelids become heavy and her breathing hitches, it's not a sexual or animalistic current that's running between us, no this feels like something more…_Something so much more. _

Her eyes are boring into mine with such intensity that it makes me feel light headed. I try and find words, any words that convey to her how she makes me feel but I cant, I cant seem to swallow the lump in my throat to get a coherent sentence out of my mouth let alone anything else.

So I kiss her instead, much like the way she kissed me ten minutes ago. I pour everything that I am feeling into this one kiss, I don't know what the hell is happening between us right now but this feeling is out of this world, I can feel my heart beating ten to the dozen as we pull away and regain our senses.

"Ana I…"

"Shhh don't say anything, let's just enjoy tonight and talk later okay" She kisses me softly and asks me to show her around the boat.

This thing is huge and even I feel lost in it, Of course it's designed to hold a lot more than just me and Ana but it all just adds to the experience, as we walk we hold hands and stop for sweet, soft kisses.

I love how comfortable she is with me, In the corner of my mind I cant help but wonder if she was like this with Brody, I feel my whole body tense as I think about her kissing him, and holding him…Sleeping with him. Ana must notice my discomfort because she stops in front of me and places her hands on my chest.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"Are you sure? You look like you were thinking about something" I can't tell her that I was envisioning her riding my best friend's dick, Fuck even saying that in my head makes me want to literally throw up over the edge of this boat.

This whole situation is bordering beyond fucked up and the more I think about it the more I realise that I haven't got a clue on how we need to handle this, we are going to hurt a lot of people and I don't think I am quite ready to admit to Brody that I think I am falling in love with the woman he adores.

The thought of having that conversation petrifies the living shit out of me, he doesn't scare me and quite frankly if he punched me in the face I would take it and not retaliate, I have betrayed him in the worst possible way and I know he will never forgive me, fuck I don't even think I forgive me.

The last thing I want to do is ruin tonight but we seriously need to discuss this and soon, we have buried our heads in the sand for too long now and this isn't a problem that will go away.

"I'm fine baby I promise" I stroke her cheek and hope that she believes me because I really don't want to bring this up right now.

She gazes into my eyes for what feels like forever, looking for anything that gives me away and tells her what she already knows, that I'm not fine and I'm lying through my teeth.

Eventually she smiles at me and nods, weaving her fingers through mine and squeezing my hand, it's like she can read my mind and is trying to reassure me somehow, but it will take more than a hand squeeze and a kiss to reassure me on this one.

"Let's eat shall we?" I don't even give her a chance to reply I just lead her to the dining room in the central section of the boat.

"I'm impressed I have to say Mr Grey, and I don't tend to impress easily" I cant help but grin at her, I knew straight away that she wasn't one to be swayed by diamonds and fancy dinners, if anything it would just piss her off and she would throw it all right back in my face.

So hearing her say she loves this makes me breath a huge sigh of relief.

"It wasn't easy I must admit" I say making her smirk at me as she picks up the menu off of the table and begins to scan it.

"Really? There was me thinking there was nothing that Christian Grey couldn't do"

"Hmm well you drive a hard bargain Anastasia" I see her eyes flit up in my direction and she bites her lip to stop a grin from breaking out across her face.

"I like it when you say that"

"Say what?"

"My name"

"Huh? You like it when I say Ana?"

"No, my full name, I usually hate it when people call me Anastasia it makes me feel like a child about to be punished"

"Is that so, why do you like the way I say it?" I ask in a low and husky tone knowing full well what it does to her, and right on cue I see the tablecloth move as she is obviously pressing her thighs together, I love how I can turn her on just by talking to her.

"It's just the way you say it, it sounds so…Sexy"

"Sexy huh? Well I love saying it, it just rolls off my tongue the way I like it" Her lips part as I mention my tongue and she is no doubt picturing all of the other things that I can make roll off of it.

"I can only imagine what you mean"

"I will say it more often, anything to make you feel as turned on as you are right now" Her pupils dilate and she sits back in her seat slightly, a small frown appearing on her face.

"I am not turned on" Really baby?

"Are you sure? I beg to differ"

"You don't get to me that much Grey so don't flatter yourself" I fucking love it when she gets feisty.

"Hmm, so you're not wet right now?" I lean forward and slide my hand up her thigh slowly, when I reach the hem of her dress I dip my hand underneath and soon discover that she is wearing what feels like stockings and a garter belt, she smirks at me realising I now know what's hiding underneath her outfit and I smirk right back at her _Naughty. Little. Minx_

"Well look what we have here? You are a devil woman Anastasia Steele" I purposely use her full name knowing how she likes it now and continue with my journey to the apex of her thighs, she gasps as my fingers lightly brush against her panty clad sex and I'm not disappointed, I can feel her wet heat and her quiet moans are telling me she is more than aroused.

"Oh Ana, I knew you would be wet for me" She grasps the edge of the table and closes her eyes as I slowly sink one long finger into her folds and thrust gently.

The combination of her wet pussy, her soft moans and knowing she is wearing something indecent under this dress is making my dick hard as stone and I would love nothing more than to throw her onto this table and fuck her until she screams.

In the corner of my eye I see the waiter approaching us so I remove my finger and place it in my mouth sucking her juices off, Ana's eyes widen when she sees me and I grin an all teeth grin at her and mouth 'delicious'.

"Are we ready to order?"

"Yes, I think I will have the chilled king prawns to start and the poached sea bass with the truffle sauce to follow. Baby, what do you want?" I cant help but notice my own double meaning question as I know full well what she wants, and it's not on this menu.

"Mmmm, the same for me please" She answers flustered and reaches for her champagne to most probably try and calm herself.

"You are so bad"

"That's what you get for toying with me Ana"

"How have I toyed with you? I don't think it was me with my hand wrapped around your dick was it?" The image of her on her knees in front of me with my dick in her hand floods my , I reach down and rub my erection through my pants willing it to play ball with me just for a few more hours.

"Fair point well made"

As our starters arrive we fall in to an easy conversation about anything and everything, she tells me about her childhood growing up, briefly mentioning her upbringing and telling me that her Father is actually her Step Father, her Mother's many attempts and fails at marriage and how she always wanted siblings and resented her Mom for not having any more children.

"Now I'm older I'm thankful that she didn't, I don't really relish the thought of having brothers and sisters to all different Dads, call it selfish but I don't think I could handle the complications that would bring"

"I don't think it's selfish at all I know exactly what you mean, I found it hard growing up knowing that me, Elliot and Mia weren't blood related but now we're all so close it's hard to imagine my life without them"

"I think it's amazing, you would never tell that you weren't related looking at you all, aside from looks you're all so similar" I know I have a confused look on my face as she giggles at me.

"Excuse me? You think I am similar to Elliot?"

"I wasn't referring to his man whore qualities, you just have more in common than you think you do. But don't make out your innocent when it comes to women Mister" She says smirking at me, lifting a fork full of prawn and crab sauce to her mouth, she even makes eating look hot.

"I don't know what you mean"

"Oh please! One word to that. Macy" Shit I forgot that Ana knows about her, in fact I forgot about Macy full stop. I never did call her after the Coping Together event like I promised I would, she of course phoned and texted demanding to know where I was and why I hadn't called, she was the last thing on my mind then.

"She meant nothing to me at all"

"I rest my case!"

"Okay that sounded harsh but it's true, she was just a means to an end, I found her insanely irritating if you must know"

"I cant think why" She snickers into her wine glass "Okay ask me a question"

"A question? On what?"

"Anything, you ask me one then I will ask you one, and we have to give honest answers" This could be interesting.

"Okay…What did you think when you first met me?" She smiles shyly at me thinking about her answer

"I thought you were a genius, hearing about what you do with GEH just blew me away. I thought you were sweet, and funny with a huge heart and I could see how much Elliot meant to you, and I thought you were an insanely good looking bastard" She grins at the last part and I laugh.

"Really?"

"Fuck yes, didn't you clock on to my dumbfounded, gormless expression written all over my face when we first shook hands?" I never thought for a minute that she felt that way when I met her, I thought it was just me with an insane crush on my best friend's girlfriend.

"Good to know, now you're turn"

"What did you think of me?"

"Can we ask the same question twice?"

"My game, my rules now spill it"

"Okay. I thought you were beautiful, caring, passionate, you made me laugh like no one else ever has done before, I thought that you were sweet and feisty all at the same time. And I thought you had the best tits and legs I have ever seen in life and all I could think about was fucking you" She splutters into her champagne and I have to pat her back gently to stop her from coughing herself to death, once she recovers she looks at me with wide eyes.

"You thought that? Even then?"

"Of course I did, how could I not Ana you mesmerised me even then" And it's true, I cant believe I thought I could ignore my feelings for her and pretend that I didn't want her, she was all I thought about.

"Next question?" She chokes out clearly affected by my words, that doesn't even begin to cover what I feel for her, I just cant string the words together into a sentence to tell her.

"How many men have you slept with?" I know I'm going to regret asking this question but it's been bugging me for a while now, she knows that I'm not exactly a virgin but I have no idea how colourful her sexual history actually is.

"Excuse me? You did not just ask me that?" She gasps but I see the humour dancing in her eyes, clearly not embarrassed or shocked at my question, I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

"I did, just tell me" I snap but she just laughs at me clearly seeing my distress of waiting for her answer.

"Okay okay. Four. I lost my virginity when I was sixteen to my best friend at the time, we were both drunk and decided to just try it and see what all the fuss was about. Then I was in a long term relationship with Adam for three years but I broke it off when I was in my final year at WSU, it just wasn't flowing anymore and why force something when its not there? And well…You know about Brody, and then you"

I sit back and try to take in what she has just said to me, I don't know if I thought it would more or less but I know I'm fucking pissed. It was bad enough just thinking about her with Brody but now I have to accept that she was with two other men as well? Fuck why did I ask that question?

"Who was this fucking friend of yours Anastasia, and who the fuck is Adam? Why am I just hearing about these assholes now?" I know I sound like a petulant teenager but this woman brings out levels of jealousy in me that I never thought existed in me.

"Hey you asked, my friend was called Lucas and we pretty much grew up together, it went how it went. We both snuck off to a party and got ridiculously drunk, one thing led to another and that was it. I don't even remember much except feeling so awkward the next morning. It was safe to say that our friendship never repaired itself after that and we lost contact eventually" She looks sad as she talks about this, she clearly misses him and that just pisses me off even more but I choose to keep my mouth shut.

"And Adam? Who was this fucker?"

"You curse a lot when you're jealous did you know that?" I see a hint of a smirk playing at the side of her lips but I'm not laughing.

The waiter arrives at the table with our main courses but I don't take my eyes off of Ana until he leaves us again.

"Come on Ana I'm waiting"

"I told you, Adam was the guy I was with for three years give or take. It just fizzled out"

"I thought Brody was the only boyfriend you had?"

"How could you just presume that? I was 24 when I met Brody where do you think I have been living? In a convent?"

"Now is not the time for your smart ass comments Ana this isn't funny"

"Do you see me laughing Christian? Jeez I knew I shouldn't of told you" She digs in to her sea bass with such force that I'm surprised she hasn't gone through the plate. Now I've pissed her off.

"Baby, I'm sorry don't be mad at me. I just don't like the thought of other men touching you, seeing what I have seen" I try to keep my voice calm as I take her hand in mine but I know I'm gritting my teeth.

"Christian I don't like the thought of you being with other women either but we're not kids, we cant change the past"

"I know, I just get so ridiculously jealous where you are concerned. I cant help it" She puts her fork down and leans forward bringing our clasped hands up slightly as she places a kiss on my knuckles, the gesture is so small but it feels like my heart has just plummeted into my stomach.

"It's okay I get it, I like that you're jealous it shows that you care about me. But don't let it bother you, none of them meant to me what you do" She freezes and her eyes widen as she realises what she just said, what does that mean? She feels for me what she never felt for them? Does she feel more for me than she felt for Brody? My heart rate quickens as I realise the enormity of that cryptic sentence and watch her as she pulls away and takes a large gulp from her champagne flute.

"I think that's enough of that game, I don't want you exploding with rage at any other questions you might ask me" She lets out a nervous laugh to try and throw me off and all I want to do is ask her what she meant but she clearly isn't ready to talk about it so I drop it.

We have desert and coffee and the conversation soon returns back to light hearted fluff, I cant seem to take my eyes off of her for more than a few seconds at a time, she looks so beautiful and carefree.

I take in all the small things as I watch her, the way her eyes twinkle as she laughs and the way she runs her hand through her gorgeous hair when she concentrates. I love how she plays with the rim of her glass when she talks and the way she pouts the most adorable pout just before she gives me a sarcastic remark.

All I want to do is take her back to the hotel and make love to her all night long, and if we had my way I would be stopping this boat right now and whisking her off of it.

I take her hand and lead her to the railings as we pass the 'Notre-Dame" I stand behind her and slide my arms around her waist, breathing her hedonistic scent in as we continue to sail.

"Christian this is so beautiful, look at all the lights" I slowly turn her around to face me and let her lean against the railings, I bring both of my hands up to cradle the sides of her face whilst I look into her gorgeous blue eyes.

"Not as beautiful as you" I say in a breathless whisper as I lean in slowly placing a soft kiss on her cheek, I linger for several seconds relishing the feel of her smooth skin underneath my lips.

"What's happening between us Ana?" I have to ask this, we cant go back to Seattle without talking about this. I need to know what she feels.

"I don't know, this is all so…Unexpected. Three weeks ago I never even knew you and now" She gazes at me as she tries to find the right words "And now I cant imagine my life without you"

My breath hitches as she reaches for my lips and runs her thumb across them, back and forth in small soft circles.

"I cant imagine my life without you either, you have completely bewitched me Ana. I don't know what it is that you are doing to me but I know I don't ever want you to stop"

I crash my lips to hers and our tongues begin the now familiar dance, I tilt her head so I can kiss her deeper and she doesn't disappoint, she reaches up to her tippy toes and slides her arms around my neck interlocking them at the back, once we breathlessly pull apart I lean my forehead against hers and run my hands through her hair.

"I think I'm falling in love with you" I whisper barely audibly against her wet lips, but judging by her sharp intake of breath she heard every single word.

"What?" She asks in a high pitched squeal and I automatically bend down to kiss her again.

"You heard me, I'm falling in love with you Ana and I cant stop myself, I know what we're doing is wrong and we're hurting Brody but I just cant grasp the thought of not having you in my life anymore, this is crazy and its quick and I know we haven't known each other long but I want you so much. More than I have ever wanted anything or anyone in my entire life"

And there it is. Everything that I'm feeling for this woman is making my head spin but if I was to lose her, I don't think I would be able to function.

A tear rolls down her cheek and I catch it quickly with a kiss only for another one to fall.

"Hey, why are you crying?"

She sniffs and wipes her eyes quickly before breaking out into a soft smile "Because, you Christian Grey, take my breath away. Do you really mean that?"

"God baby I have never been as sure about anything in my whole life" She leans into me and nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck.

"I love you too" I think my heart just stopped beating. Never have four words held so much promise and hope before, I feel the corners of my eyes starting to sting and I know I am seconds away from crying. I haven't cried since I was a child, I actually thought that I was void of the emotion up until now.

I blink away the tears that are threatening to fall and wrap my arms around her, I hold her so tight that I'm afraid I might be crushing her but when she pulls her arms around my neck and sighs in contentment I know she is perfectly fine, I slide one hand up and stroke the back of her head softly before I feel her start to pull back.

"Christian, when we get home I want us to come clean to everyone, we need to if we want this to work. I know it's gunna' be hard telling Brody, and I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to lose you"

"I agree, I know it's what we have to do. It will be tough but we'll get through it together" She smiles at me and pulls my lips to hers, fuck I could just kiss her all night and never tire of it. She always tastes so sweet.

"I want you to take me to bed Christian" My dick just stirred back to life, I lace my fingers with hers and pull them so they are behind her back, causing her back to arch and press into my body while I affectively trap hers in between the railing and myself. I rake my teeth across her bottom lip and bite down on it gently making her moan.

"We have ten minutes before we return back to the pier baby, do you think you can wait that long? She shakes her head breathlessly and shoves her tongue in my mouth so hard and fast I almost stumble backwards in shock. Someone's a little horny and needing a good fuck.

"Patience baby, I will make good on it don't you worry. Once we are back in that hotel suite I'm not putting you down until you beg me to, you literally wont be able to walk once I'm finished with you" I hear her groan softly in my ear and it sends a jolt of desire straight to my groin.

Finally we pull back into the pier after what felt like the longest ten minutes of my fucking life. I thank the captain and the on board crew as fast as I can without looking like an ungrateful asshole, once we are back on dry land I drag Ana to the car and before she can even sit down I drag her onto my lap, sliding the privacy screen across before grabbing the back of her head and pulling her lips to mine.

She fists her hands in my hair and angles my head, forcing her tongue so deep into my mouth I think she might actually climb down there in the minute, she grinds on my dick rocking back on forth clearly desperate for some friction, I thrust my hips upwards making her cry out sharply. Fuck if she keeps rubbing against me like that I'm gunna' come in my pants.

"Fuck I have been thinking about this all night" I slide my hand down her neck stopping at the curve of her breast and squeezing tightly, I tug the top of her dress down slightly and pull her breast out of the most sexiest fucking lace bra I have ever seen in my life, I envelope my lips around her erect nipple and start to suck.

She has without a doubt the most sensitive and receptive nipples on the face of this earth, I think I could just get her off by doing this and this alone. And judging by the speed of her rocking on my dick I know I'm close to doing just that.

"Christian I need you inside me right now, I don't think I can wait" She pants in my ear as she fumbles with my belt pulling my dick out, fuck she's really taking charge and it's the hottest thing I have ever experienced in my life.

I quickly pull her panties to the side and within seconds she's sliding down on to my dick, inch by inch until I've sheathed her to the hilt.

"Fuck baby that feels so good" I hold on to her hips as she rides me relentlessly, this is the most animalistic I've seen her and she feels like fucking silk, I move her up and down, back and forth over and over again, she circles her hips grinding down on me slowly and I damn near explode right there and then. I yank her close to me and bury my face in her neck, sucking on the base of her throat so roughly I'm sure there will be marks left.

"Faster Christian, don't stop"

"Shit Ana I'm gunna' come, slow down baby hold it" My pleas fall on deaf ears as she leans back slightly balancing her weight on my knees, once she finds her balance she continues bouncing up and down so fast and hard its making my head spin.

I feel the car come to a slow halt and I know we have arrived at the hotel.

"Baby, Ana we're back. We have to stop" I breathe out but it's like I'm not here, she doesn't stop riding me until I have to literally pick her up and lift her off of my dick making her cry out in frustration.

"Christian! What are you doing!"

"We're here Ana, we have to get out the car" I fix her back up as fast as I can and slide out of the car grasping her hand tightly in mine.

"Taylor, take the rest of the night off" I don't even wait for his response as I drag Ana through the hotel lobby and into an empty elevator. Once the doors are closed I attack her and pin her against the wall, I have to literally fight the urge to slam back into her, I know we will be at our floor any second so I pull back and try to compose myself, I look at Ana and she is a panting, hot mess that can barely stand up right now _So fucking sexy_

As soon as the elevator pings I pull her into the suite and push her against the door, she tries to unbuckle my pants again but I grab her wrists and pin them to the side of her head.

"Christian don't play games I need to now!"

"You have something I want to see first Ana, take your dress off" I whisper in her ear and release the hold on her wrists. A slow smirk spreads across her face as she steps towards me and grasps my hand in hers pulling me towards the bedroom.

She literally pushes me onto the bed and stands back, reaching around for the zipper on her dress and pulls it down slowly.

I watch as the dress drops, pooling at her feet. She kicks the garment away and stands there. In what I can only describe as the hottest, most sexiest lingerie I have ever seen.

She's wearing a strapless, black lace bra that push her beautiful breasts up so much they look like they are nearly touching her chin, she has matching lace panties and a sexy garter belt attached to these black, sheer stockings.

I feel my dick stand to attention even more than he already was.

"You like?" Ana whispers seductively, batting her long eyelashes at me.

"Oh baby I more than like, I fucking love. Come here" I reach for her and pull her on top of me, she pushes me down so she's straddling me as my hands roam her perfect little ass. I grope and squeeze and spank playfully until I cant take it anymore.

I reach up and unclasp her bra throwing it to the side, she sees this as the green light and sits up pulling me with her. I shrug my jacket off and she literally rips my shirt open reminding me of the way she did it at the Fairmont for the first time.

She crashes her lips back to mine and reaches for my belt, this time I don't stop her. Once my dick is released again I pull my pants off the rest of the way, lifting her ass so I can get them past my knees.

"I cant wait any longer Ana, take me" She doesn't hesitate, she slams down onto me so hard I know it knocked the wind out of her, I take her face in my hands and kiss her roughly to take her mind off of the jolt of pain she just felt.

"This is going to be hard and fast baby, you have been driving me crazy all night" I lift her up and slam her back down again before I thrust upwards into her at a rapid speed, he tits are bouncing with every thrust and I can already feel her starting to quiver.

"Fuck Christian I'm gunna come already" I cant stop her, she's too far gone. I'm actually surprised she didn't come as soon as I entered her, I knew she was so wet and worked up from our quick round in the car.

"It's okay baby, I've got you. Come all over me" I hold her face in my hands tightly effectively holding her in place as her orgasm takes over her, her mouth opens in ecstasy as she releases a primal scream and a garbled rendition of what I think is my name.

Her pussy is gripping me in a vice grip that is so tight I feel like my dick is gunna snap in two.

Once she regains her senses she drops forward into my shoulder going limp.

I roll us over and push her legs open further with mine, never once breaking contact.

I pound into her over and over while she claws my back so hard that I think I could be bleeding, but I don't give a fuck. She feels so hot and wet I could just stay buried in here forever.

"Ana look at me" She lifts her head and stares deep into my eyes, her lips are swollen and she only now has a smeared stain where her lipstick used to be, I push her hair away from her beautiful eyes and instantly feel my legs begin to shake.

"I love you Ana, I love you so much" She reaches up and strokes my cheek never diverting her eyes away from mine for a second.

"I love you too, Come inside me Christian. I need you to"

Hearing those words leave her mouth sends me over the edge, I bury my face in her neck as my orgasm racks my body, it feels like the spasms are lasting forever, wave after wave after wave.

I feel Ana stroking my hair and kissing my cheek softly, it's the most comforting and amazing feeling I have ever felt.

Once my breathing returns to normal I roll off of her onto my side, we both lie there panting and heaving staring at the ceiling, I turn to look at her and she must feel my eyes on her because she turns her head In my direction.

She smiles brightly at me and I reach over stroking her cheek with the back of my hand.

"So I take it you approve of my choice in underwear?" She grins seductively at me and I grin right back.

"Oh baby, I more than approve"

**A/N - They said it! **

**Coming up - Ana and Christian return home, will they tell Brody?**

**Get prepared for the fall out!**

**Pleaseeeeee review! I love you all**

**MrsCTG x**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N - Thank you all for your reviews on the last chapter, I take each and every one of your comments on board and I am so pleased you're all loving the story! (:**

**(I apologise for any mistakes this was a last minute edit, I just really wanted to get this out to you guys)**

**Chapter 14 - Tough love**

**Anastasia's POV**

"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't realise that I would leave marks like that on you"

We're on the Jet flying home and I am rubbing my neck furiously trying to rid myself of the red and purple blotch that is starting to form on the right side of my throat, I look at Christian and see the bastard bring his fist up to his mouth biting down softly on it clearly trying to stop himself from laughing.

"Christian! It's not funny. How the hell am I going to explain why I've got a fucking hickey after spending two days at my Dad's!"

"It's not even that bad, it looks more like a small bruise, don't be so dramatic"

"Not that bad! Are you freaking kidding me? Look!"

I turn my body to him and lift my hair up pointing at the marred spot on my neck, I sock him one on his arm when he just looks at me and bursts into a fit of hysterics. I flop back into my seat crossing my arms and staring in the opposite direction. I know I look like a spoilt brat right now but I really hate hickeys, they just look so tacky and…Ughhhhh

"Ana…Ana stop it I'm sorry, I just got caught in the moment" He mutters apologetically once he stops laughing "I didn't see you complaining at the time" _Of course I wasn't_

"You're such an ass" I smirk at him and swing my feet up into his lap, Christian slips my shoes off and starts to rub them, applying pressure into the ball of my foot where I need it most.

"I really don't want to go back" He mumbles quietly never taking his eyes away from my feet and the movements of his deft fingers, I sit up slightly and brush my hand across his forehead, pushing his hair back away from his eyes.

"Me either, I had the most amazing time" He cocks his head to the side and smiles at me, his beautiful grey orbs twinkling in the light as he reaches up and pulls my hand from his hair, lacing his fingers through mine and planting soft butterfly kisses across each of my knuckles.

"Me too, thank you for coming out here with me" As if he really needs to thank me, these past two days have been the best of my life and it's all down to this gorgeous man sat right next to me.

"Christian, you could have asked me to go to anywhere with you and I would have said yes. I wanted to spend alone time with you just as much as you wanted to spend alone time with me"

* * *

The beam spread across his face slowly turns in to a frown as he searches my face, looking deep into my eyes.

"How are we going to do this Ana, where do we even start" I pull my hand free from his hold and run it across my forehead, back and forth, back and forth as if it will give me the answers I so desperately need. I know straight away what he is talking about and I honestly don't know what the solution is.

We could go and find Brody together as soon as we land, come clean to him about everything and not hide away for a single second more. But we both know that's not going to happen, I honestly don't know how I can even find the right words to tell him.

"_Oh yeah by the way, I have fallen in love with your best friend and we have been fucking each other behind your back. Sorry" _

Whatever we say, and however we say it. It's going to crush him, I just don't think I am ready for that yet.

When we were on the boat I was determined that this was the right thing to do, now that we're only hours away from facing reality? Not so much.

"I really don't know Christian, this is so hard"

"I know baby, but we have to do this. We agreed remember?"

"That was when I thought I knew what I was going to tell him, but now when I think about it it all just sounds fucked up. I don't want to hurt him Christian, despite what has happened I did love him once and now I am coming in between your friendship and I know he will never forgive me, or forgive you for that matter…" I am pulled from my ramble as Christian lifts me and sits me on his lap, tucking my head underneath his chin and stroking my back.

"It's all gunna' be okay Ana, fuck I'm scared too but this is what it is now…Unless you're having second thoughts" I shoot straight back up and look him in the eyes, noticing the forlorn expression spread across his beautiful face.

"God no, Christian of course not" I lift my palm to his cheek, feeling the slight stubble on his jaw as he leans into it automatically, turning his head slightly kissing the pad of my thumb "I'm in this with you now, I still cant get my head around how fast this is all moving but I haven't doubted us for a minute, this situation just sucks"

"You're telling me" I catch movement in the corner of my eye and see Sawyer coming out from the bathroom making his way to his seat at the back of the cabin, he catches my gaze and I smile slightly at him, only getting a feeble attempt at a smile in return.

"Hey, what's up with him?" I whisper at Christian, he looks over his shoulder in the direction of my gaze.

"Who, Sawyer?" I nod "What do you mean?"

"He just seems so…Terse, and grumpy all the time"

"Baby, he's part of my security detail. He's paid to be terse and grumpy"

"Really? So he can't ever crack a smile once in a while? Honestly he looks like he has a stick permanently stuck up his ass" This makes Christian laugh as he reaches up to kiss me softly.

"He can smile, but he's a guy who works a nine to five job every day of the week. He's probably just horny" I slap his chest.

"Why is everything about sex with you?"

"Because it just is, I'm a man and have you heard it's all we think about?" He picks up a strand of my hair and twirls it around his fingers "Speaking of, you fancy heading to the bedroom for a bit?"

"For a bit? Oh stop you're making me blush with all of your romantic words"

"Hey I gave you romance in Paris, you can't have it all of the time" I giggle and press my lips against his

"You are such a charmer Christian Grey"

* * *

"Call me tomorrow okay? We need to come up with some sort of idea of how we're going to do this" We're parked around the corner from Kate's apartment, Christian is stroking my cheek as I try to pluck up the courage to get out of the car, I don't want to leave him and I don't think I am quite ready to face the tornado that is Katherine Kavanagh just yet.

"I promise, are you working tomorrow?"

"Yeah, back to normal now baby. Just don't stress over this okay, it will all work out" I nod and kiss him, I kiss him like I'm not going to see him for a week and in all honesty that's what it feels like right now, he kisses me back with equal fervour and I only pull away when realisation hits me that Taylor and Sawyer are still sitting in the front, seeing and hearing everything no doubt.

"Okay I'll talk to you tomorrow, I love you" His face breaks into a grin and my heart melts, I love seeing him happy like this, I love being the one that makes him happy.

"I love you too beautiful, now go before I drag you back to my apartment and keep you there" His eyes dance with mischief and it makes him look all the more handsome, when he smiles he looks years younger than he actually is and all I want to do is jump on him and kiss him till he can no longer breathe. With one last kiss I open the door and climb out, Taylor pulls my case from the trunk and smiles sincerely at me before he climbs back into the drivers seat. _Oooh a security guy that does smile._

Once I'm back in the apartment I lean against the door and look around, I've only been gone two days but it feels like a lifetime. It all looks the same, Kate's personality radiates through the whole apartment, so warm and cosy. She has photo frames hanging everywhere, some of us, some of Kate with her parents and Ethan, family vacations, even some of herself. The living room couch is literally adorned with cushions and throw over's. Bright ones, light ones, fluffy ones, all made with different types of fabric.

I make my way to my temporary bedroom and dump my case on the ottoman at the foot of the bed, that can wait till tomorrow. I glance at myself in the dressing table mirror, pulling all of my hair to one side so I can inspect my hickey in the light. _Hmm it actually doesn't look too bad._

Thank god, I applied a thick layer of make up over it until it became pretty much invisible, well as invisible as it could be. I am so gunna' get him back for that little stunt.

"Ana? You home?!" Oh goodie, and so it begins

"Bedroom!" Within seconds Kate barges through the door tackling me so we both end up on the bed, she is squealing so loud that I'm pretty sure I will be deaf in the morning.

"I have missed you so much! Don't leave me again! I laugh and push her off of me nearly sending her flying off the bed.

"Kate we have gone for longer periods without seeing each other than this"

"Yeah but it's not the same, you weren't just round the corner, come on we need wine. You can tell me how Ray is doing" Oh god, I'm the worst liar known to man and now I have to lie through my teeth pretending I have been spending time with my Dad when that couldn't have been further from the truth I reluctantly follow her through to the kitchen and watch as she pulls two glasses from the cupboard.

"So how was it? What did you get up to?"

"Oh you know, we just chilled most of the time, I went fishing with him and that's about it"

"You hate fishing"

"Yeah I know, but Dad loves it. I just wanted to spend time with him"

"How was he?" She fills my glass with wine and I take a big gulp straight away.

"He's good, you know Ray. Doesn't have much to say, I think he was just pleased to have me there. What's been happening here?" Please stop asking me questions, I can feel my throat tightening and I know I will start to sweat if she carries on for much longer. Thankfully she doesn't.

"Not much, work. Went for a drink with Liv last night but that's about it" She takes a sip of wine and looks at me sheepishly. "I saw Brody" Just hearing his name makes my stomach roil.

"Yeah? Where?"

"He came into Nordstrom, He asked me why you weren't returning his calls so I told him you were with your Dad, he looked shocked actually but I told him you didn't want him calling Ray. He told me to tell you to call him"

"I have nothing to say to him Kate" Nothing that he wants to hear anyway.

"I know, and hey I was this close to punching his lights out when he came over. But I just think he will keep trying until you answer" The whole time I was in Paris I was swamped with texts from him, at one point I had to turn my phone off I couldn't take the constant hassle from him any longer. I didn't tell Christian of course, would have been bit of a mood killer.

"Maybe. I will speak to him, I'm just trying to find the right moment"

"Is there ever a right moment?"

"Nope. How's Liv?" Please change the subject.

"She will be here any minute now, she wanted to be here before you got home but tough shit"

"Okay, I'm gunna run and change before she gets here then" I hop off the stool and make my way back to the bedroom, now I have to cope with both of my ever inquisitive best friends in one full swoop, Jeez I so wasn't prepared for this. I change into a baggy tee shirt and boy shorts and when I walk back into the living area Kate is sprawled on the couch flicking through the T.V channels before landing on a re-run of 'White Collar'

"I'm here!" Olivia's shrill pierces the air as she strolls through the front door, Kate must of left it on the latch. "Aaaah you're already back?" She frowns and pouts her bottom lip out as she fists her hip.

"Well I can go again if you want me to"

"No! I missed you" She bounces across the room and lands straight into my lap, she kisses me all over my face and ruffles my hair before jumping off and helping herself to wine.

"I missed you too, were you planning a surprise for me?" I tease her as she smiles that adorable smile that makes her look like a five year old.

"You should be so lucky Steele, you're not that special" I smack my hand on my chest and mock gasp.

"I am hurt by that Katherine"

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah it was nice, it was good to get away for a few days. I needed the space you know"

"Well don't go away again okay, you need us around you right now and we want to be here for you" A pang of guilt hits me and I look down into my glass not able to look my friends in the eyes, I am sat here lying to the two people that I thought I could tell anything, they think I have been hiding away at my Dad's trying to get over my break up when in actual fact I was having the time of my life in Paris, falling in love with the most amazing and perfect guy wishing we could stay out there forever. I really fucking hate myself right now.

"Oooh before I forget, cancel what ever you're doing tomorrow night, Blake has asked us round his place for drinks" Kate and I look at each other and grin.

"Hmmm Blake did did he, how very chivalrous of him" I stifle a laugh into the rim of my wine glass and divert my eyes away from Kate's before I fall into a pit of hysterics.

"Oh stop it! It's nothing like that, he was just being friendly. I think everyone's going"

"Will Brody be there?" I have to ask, I'm not ready for that kind of awkward atmosphere just yet, not around all of our friends.

"No don't worry I already asked, apparently he's busy. I think he's avoiding us though if I'm being honest" Olivia says as she sinks back into the couch placing a cushion over her lap. Thank god for that. I cant help but wonder if Christian will be there too, not that I would mind that in the slightest, it's just having to pretend that there is nothing between us except friendship.

"Okay I'm up for it, any excuse to get drunk"

**Christian's POV**

"So you coming tonight or what?" Elliot asks as he stands from his seat in front of my desk, he has been here bugging me for the past hour about un-important shit.

Seriously I love my Brother but he can be the most fucking irritating bastard on this planet.

"Yes Elliot I will come, now for the last time fuck off I am trying to work"

"Alright keep your panties on, who pissed in your cheerios this morning?"

"No one, I'm just busy" That and the fact I have to think of a way how I can break it to my best friend that I am in love with his ex girlfriend. I called Ana this morning and she agrees with me that we need to do it as soon as possible.

"Okay if you say so, I text Brody asking if he was coming but he said no. Said he had something to do" I inwardly breathe a sigh of relief, I never thought I would see the day where I was afraid to be in the same room as him.

"What's he doing?" Elliot shrugs and picks up his keys off the desk.

"He didn't say, I didn't ask to be honest. Be at Blake's for nine tonight, I'm going to flirt with your hot secretary now" He winks at me and grins before making a beeline for the door, Elliot has always had the hots for Andrea. But I told him from fucking day one that she is one pool he cant dip his dick in. I don't need any of that shit complicating things for me once he has had enough and fucks her over.

I pull my phone from my breast pocket and go to my mail box, I see Brody's name and hover my thumb over it. I have to do this, the more I put it off the worse it shall get, that's if it can get anymore worse than it already is.

_Are you free for lunch tomorrow?_

Minutes later I get a reply.

_What are we, fucking women? But yeah I'm free, I've been meaning to call you actually. How was Paris?_

I drop my phone and bury my face in my hands, I cant fucking believe I am doing this, I literally have to swallow the bile in my throat as I re read his text _'How was Paris?" _Fucking amazing, I had your ex girlfriend naked in my bed for the duration of the trip and I loved every second of it.

_Boring work shit, glad to be back. Purple café at 1.00pm?_

_Awesome._

I'm one step closer to destroying my friendship with the person that has been more of a brother to me over the years. And I feel nothing but sick and disgusted at myself. I told Ana that it would be better if I do this alone, she insisted that we do this together but I know it will only make things worse, Brody doesn't need to hear the same hurtful truth coming from both of us. And I flat out refused to let her meet him alone even if it was in a public place, I don't think for a minute Brody would actually do anything to physically hurt her but it's not a risk I am willing to take, at least if he lashes out it will be at me and I can more than handle it, Ana is small and dainty and I'm not putting my girl in that position. Not a chance in fucking hell.

I started this whole mess so I will finish it.

**Anastasia's POV**

Blake's condo is your typical bachelor pad, dark and closed in with no warm touches to it at all. The furniture is stark and the walls are filled with Mariners posters and scantily clad women. I didn't really expect anything else really, from what Brody told me about him he could give Elliot a run for his money he is such a man whore and not ashamed to admit it.

"Just think Liv, when you and Blake get married this will all be yours" Kate says as we walk through the apartment.

"Fuck off Kate how many times! That was a one off now drop it" Olivia is so adorable when she get's angry, her face turns so red that I actually think steam will come out of her ears.

"I'm just messing with you, Blake is hot you should be proud you tapped that"

"Seriously Kate have you heard yourself some times" I say as I search the kitchen for drinks, Dylan and Blake are already in the living area watching a game, why do men do that?

Invite guests round but fuck off as soon as they get here and entertain themselves.

"What it's true! He's not up there in Elliot's league but he's still hot" I turn around and grab her face roughly.

"Will you please, _please _just marry this fucking guy already, you have not stopped talking about him since you woke up this morning, It's been Elliot this and Elliot that. Seriously Kate you're so into him its ridiculous"

Her mouth gapes open and she's stood stock still, I am so sick and tired of her pretending that she feels nothing for him, and Elliot is no better.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"You Kate! I have watched you cry over Elliot for a year now, Now I know I am in no position to give relationship advice but you two are driving me crazy!" I'm damn near yelling now, waving my arms in the air trying to get my point across. I glance at Olivia leaning against the counter with her eyes wide as saucers holding onto her daiquiri glass.

Kate closes her mouth and reaches for Olivia's drink, snatching it from her hand and draining the whole thing in one go.

"I think I'm fucking in love with him"

"I know! I've known that for months now I was just waiting for you to catch up! Shit Kavanagh you really are slow on the up take sometimes" I look at her and see her eyes fill with tears, one spills over and her bottom lip trembles. I pull her into my arms as quick as I can and I feel her shudder as the sobs rack her body.

"Shit Katie what's wrong?" Olivia asks as she comes up behind her and rubs her back soothingly, Kate pulls away and fans her face with her hands willing the tears to stop.

"I just hate feeling this way, he is such an asshole and he doesn't deserve my love. Out of all the men I had to fall for?!" She reaches for the nearest bottle of alcohol and takes a long pull, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"We cant help who we fall in love with sweetie" My mind instantly drifts to Christian, you really can't help who you fall in love with. It's way beyond our control and once it happens there's no going back, despite how much we try to fight it and pretend it's not there. One day it just hits you in the face so fast you can't even fight to catch your breath.

I take a step closer to her and wipe her tear stained cheeks with my thumbs.

"Have you told him?"

"Fuck no! Why would I tell him just for him to turn me down?"

"Why do you think he would turn you down?"

"Because…He's Elliot fucking Grey. He doesn't love, he just fucks around" Just then the doorbell rings and I know that it must be Elliot and Christian.

"Shit is that them already?" Kate wipes her cheeks roughly to try and hide the fact that she has been crying but it's futile, she needs to wash her face and calm down.

"Kate go to the bathroom and sort yourself out okay, I will deal with Elliot until you get back" She nods at me as Olivia takes her hand and drags her down the hall, the doorbell sounds again. I take it no one is in a hurry to answer it. I take a deep breath and walk to the door, checking my hair and lip gloss in the mirror as I walk by.

Elliot and Christian are stood on the other side and I try, I really try not to focus my gaze on my man but it's damn near impossible.

"Hi boys, finally decided to show?" I smirk still not making eye contact with Christian, Elliot grins and kisses my cheek as he walks through the door.

"We're here now sweet thing, where is everyone?" He asks me but he's already trailing himself off.

"The lounge!" I yell back before I turn my attention back to Christian, he's leaning against the door frame with his arms folded against his chest and he looks utterly beautiful.

"Hey you" He grins at me as he pushes himself off the frame and moves a step closer to me.

"Hey yourself" I automatically lean into him and kiss him softly on the lips completely forgetting where we are right now, I see him close his eyes and inhale a breath as he brushes his lips against me for a few more seconds.

"Are you ready for this?" I ask as I pull him into the apartment and close the door.

"Ready as I'll ever be, you?"

"I'll be just pleased when all of this is out in the open, I hate sneaking around so much"

"Me too baby" He runs his hand through my hair and kisses my cheek.

"Come on, lets just do this" I turn and make my way to where everyone else is, Kate and Olivia still aren't back from the bathroom yet so I sit myself on one of the stuffed armchairs in the corner and grab a beer from the coffee table, I feel relief when I see Christian sit next to Dylan, I don't think I could handle being within such close proximity to him all night.

"Hey Chris, how was Paris?" Blake asks as he hands him a beer.

"Don't fucking call me Chris, and it was fine. Nothing special" He glances at me and I see a trace of a small smirk play across his lips but I choose to ignore it, I could easily break into a face splitting grin just thinking about Paris if I'm not careful.

"Really? No chicks to keep you company?"

"Blake man I've already asked him this, the answer is a big fat no" Oh he had a chick to keep him company alright.

"I haven't got fucking time for that shit Elliot, we're not all sluts like you" Elliot just laughs and slaps his thigh, clearly not offended at being called a slut. I swear he wears it like a badge of honour.

"Hey, female still present here" I raise my hand in the air to make myself known.

"Sorry babe" Blake grins at me and winks and I see Christian narrow his eyes at him, what's up with him? Just because Blake called me babe?

"Right I'm starved what are we ordering?" I decide to steer the conversation to safer territory before Christian rats us both out by sitting there like someone pissed in his mouth, he cant hide his jealousy whatsoever.

"I fancy Pizza"

"Boring, Chinese definatly" Dylan says as he pulls out a pile of menus from underneath the table and throws them at Blake.

"I heard Pizza" Kate comes back into the room looking beautiful as ever and you can't see a trace of evidence that she was a blubbering wreck ten minutes ago. I mouth 'are you okay' at her and she nods smiling, perching herself on the arm next to Blake completely ignoring Elliot's presence, I see him look at her and frowns when he realises she wont look back at him.

"Fine Pizza it is, I'll order"

"How you doing Ana?" Dylan asks me as he takes a bite into his third slice of the meat feast.

"I'm fine why?"

"Well you know, after what happened with Brody, I haven't really had a chance to talk to you about it all yet?" Oh god please don't bring up Brody, not with Christian in the room I wont be able to cope.

"You mean after the little slime lied to her and humiliated her in front of everyone, yeah she's doing dandy" Kate mumbles in between mouthfuls from her spot on the floor.

"Kate drop it" I glare at her and prey that she keeps her mouth shut, this is so uncomfortable as it is without her bringing Brody further into the mix berating him.

"What it's true! Everyone agrees with me Ana" The room falls silent and I glance in Christian's direction to see him rubbing his forehead, I know he will be screaming inside at himself right now. I feel the same way, I love Kate but she just doesn't know when to stop and shut up.

"He made a mistake Kate, I'm sure he feels like shit over it" Blake says softly but looking at me as he speaks.

"Ha! You can say that again, I don't think he's paying for it enough, not like Ana has" Okay I now officially want to run head first in to that wall and knock myself unconscious.

"Look I don't think Ana needs us all getting involved, they will sort this out themselves" Thank you Olivia! Thankfully Kate doesn't comment further she just rolls her eyes and reaches for her wine glass.

I risk a glance in Christian's direction and see him already looking at me, I give him a tiny smile and he gives me one back, I'm just relieved that he isn't mad at me.

"Okay, I want ice-cream now" Olivia demands as she closes the empty pizza box and wipes her hand on the paper napkin next to her.

"I haven't got any ice cream Olivia, I'm not a fucking woman"

"How can you NOT have any?! I really wanted some"

"Well go get some then, you know how to drive don't you"

"I cant asshole I have had too much to drink, you take me you have hardly had any" I laugh as Blake looks at her like she has just slapped him.

"What the fuck?!"

"Oh come on I will come with you we need more beer" Dylan stands up and shrugs his coat on, Blake groans like a child and stomps to his feet making Olivia squeals as she claps her hands together bordering the line of looking like a demented seal.

Once they have left I look at Kate and cant help but feel the awkward atmosphere in the air, and this time I know its not from Christian and I.

She catches my gaze and I raise my eyebrows at her secretly asking her what's going on. She catches on and shrugs at me, I try and point to Elliot discreetly telling her she needs to talk to him, she shakes her head at me but I just glare at her till eventually she cracks.

"Elliot can I talk to you please?"

"What now?"

"Yes now you idiot it's important" I watch as she stands and walks to what I presume is a bedroom, Elliot looks at me but I just shrug, I'm not giving anything away. He sighs and stands following after her literally dragging his feet as he does so. Then I realise it's just me and Christian left alone.

"You okay?" I ask him and his head snaps up to look at me.

"Not really, this is so fucking uncomfortable Ana" He leans forward and hunches over his knees running his hand through his hair, I notice now he only does that when he's nervous or over thinking.

"I know, I'm sorry I should of known that they would ask me about Brody"

"It's not your fault baby, you didn't ask for this"

"No I didn't but I chose it, what do we really expect from this right now?" I stand up and begin to tidy the coffee table, picking up as many empty bottles and pizza boxes as I can possibly manage to carry at once and take them to the kitchen, feeling Christian on my trail.

"Tomorrow this will all be sorted Ana, it's gunna' be horrendous having to tell him but once he knows we don't have to hide anymore" He's right I know he's right. He moves towards me and comes to a stop inches away from my face.

"I know, I'm just scared I guess"

"Don't be scared baby" He cups my face with his hands and brushes his lips softly against mine "I cant wait to be with you properly, no hiding, no more pretending, just you and me the way it's supposed to be"

I cant help but smile, there is nothing I want more.

"Me too" I reach up and lock my hands around his neck, effectively pulling him closer to me "Kiss me"

I feel his breath on my lips as he moves closer to me, as soon as he makes contact I lunge for him, demanding entrance into his mouth with my tongue, I slide my hands down his chest and around to his ass and squeeze tightly making him groan into my mouth.

I can feel his dick against my stomach and I want nothing more than to pull it out and sink down onto it, he pushes me against the counter making me yelp out slightly, I hear something in the far corner of the apartment but cant quite manage to pull myself away from Christian long enough to see what it is, he grabs my leg from underneath my knee and hitches it around his waist pressing his erection in to my core making me want to beg for friction, his kisses move from my lips to my cheek all the way down to the base of my throat where he begins to suck softly. I open my eyes slowly and feel all the air leave my body, if Christian wasn't holding me against the counter I'm sure I would have collapsed to the floor right now.

"Fuck, stop Christian" I whisper but he fails to listen to me, I feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes as I pull his head back up and turn him so he is facing what's behind us. I feel his entire body tense as he turns and sees what I see.

Standing right in front of us is Brody.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - I know I'm evil leaving you like that!**

**I had planned for Brody to find out about Ana and Christian like this right from the very beginning, cruel I know but all so very dramatic ;) ****Enjoy this one you beautiful people and please review (:**

**(Again, please excuse any mistakes)**

**Chapter Fifteen - Coming clean**

**Christian's POV**

It feels like we are frozen in time, no one is moving and no one is speaking. My heart is pounding so fast and so hard that I fear it might actually drive me into a panic attack, I can feel my hands starting to sweat and my throat constricts leaving a lump what feels like the size of a golf ball lodged down there. I try to swallow but my mouth is beyond dry, I roll my tongue around hoping I can form enough saliva to wet my mouth but it is futile, the whole time I am staring into Brody's eyes, and he is staring right back at me. He isn't blinking, he hasn't even flinched once. He actually looks like a wax work model right now he is that still.

I feel a soft hand gently touch my bicep, she doesn't squeeze me or go to hold onto my arm she just touches me, silently reassuring me that she is still here, I hear her feet shuffle and I know she is getting ready to move in front of me but I instinctively stretch my hand back around me halting her movements, I need to protect her and keep her out of this right now. I turn my attention back to Brody and watch as he slowly flexes his finger tips and lifts his head up slightly, it's like everything is in HD right now, every movement is heightened and the silence is deafening. He takes a small step forward never once diverting his eyes away from mine, his eyes are lifeless and his jaw is locked from where he is clearly gritting his teeth.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. This?" He says so softly and so quietly but to me it sounded like he had screamed it through a speaker phone switched to full blast, I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out, It feels like my mouth is ten steps in front of my brain as I cant formulate the right words in my head, whatever I say will never make a difference. He has caught us red handed and if he had walked in five minutes later he would of surely caught us fucking on Blake's kitchen counter.

"ANSWER ME!" He yells and it makes both Ana and I flinch, Brody doesn't scare me physically but hearing the clear pain and hurt in that scream makes my stomach churn, I try again to open my mouth and speak as I know I have to give him answers.

"Brody….I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry" He narrows his eyes at me and I see his fists clench at the side of his body.

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" Fuck he actually wants me to say it.

"For what you just saw, you will never know how sorry I am"

"What did I just see? Because to me it looked like you had my girlfriend pinned against a counter with your tongue down her throat" He grits out harshly at me and hearing him say it that bluntly makes my head spin and my muscles tense.

"Brody it wasn't like that, let us explain" Ana says as she steps in front of me, I grab her arm and try to pull her back but she shakes me off determined to see this through.

Brody's ice cold stare turns to Ana and if I thought he was looking at me with hatred and disgust, it increases ten fold as he looks at her.

"What the fuck is it like then Ana! Because I am pretty fucking clueless right now!" He yells as he moves two steps closer to us, I move forward and stand behind Ana placing my hands on her shoulders, Brody's eyes flicker to where my hands are lying and back to me again, he looks disgusted seeing me touching her and I really don't blame him one bit. But if he touches her I think I will lose it.

"Brody please! Can we please just talk somewhere privately?!" No fucking way is she going anywhere on her own with him right now.

"No! You fucking tell me what is going on right now!" I see Ana look to the floor, this is not how either of us wanted him to find out, Brody steps forward and grasps her upper arms roughly, shaking her as he yells.

"Fucking answer me or so god help me Ana!" Seeing him be so rough with her causes me to see red, I pull him off of her by the collar of his shirt and slam him up against the nearest wall pinning him there.

"Don't fucking touch her Brody this is between me and you" I growl at him as he tries to push me off of him. I have never been violent with my best friend in all the years I have known him, but when it comes to the woman standing behind me I would kill anyone who dares to lay a finger on her.

"How long have you been fucking her?!" He shoots back at me but I don't answer him.

"Christian let him go, put him down!" I don't though, I can see his face turning red and his knuckles are so white from where he is clenching them so tightly around my wrists.

I have seen Brody in fights before and I know what he looks like before he is about to blow. And this is it right now.

Just at that moment Elliot and Kate burst into the room clearly having heard the yelling from the bedroom, I'm actually surprised they haven't come out sooner.

"Christian, what the fuck are you doing?!" Elliot looks horrified at the scene playing out in front of him, me holding our best friend by the neck against the wall.

"Just go Elliot and take Kate with you, this has got nothing to do with you" Kate has her hand over her mouth and she calls Ana's name but Ana isn't listening one iota, she is just gazing intently at Brody and I and she no doubt thinks I'm going to hit him, I don't want to hit him.

"No you stay where you are Elliot, did you know about this?! Put me fucking down Christian before I kick your ass through that wall!" He continues to struggle but my grip on him increases.

"Know about what?! What is going on?"

"Him!…That's what's going on, He's been fucking my girlfriend behind my back!" That makes me drop him and I instantly take a step back, Elliot and Kate have eyeballs as wide as saucers and Ana buries her face in her hands either from embarrassment or shame, I pray to god it isn't shame.

"W…What, that's impossible Brody you have obviously got the wrong end of the stick" Elliot says as he moves closer towards him.

"Really?! It didn't feel that way when I walked in on them ten minutes ago, practically ripping each others clothes off" He spit's the last part out as he focuses his gaze on Ana, she lifts her head and looks right back at him, her beautiful eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"Ana?" Kate whispers as she comes to stand beside her and gently pushes her hair away from her face "What's he talking about?" She cant speak, she simply turns her attention to me and searches my face desperately as if she is trying to find the solution to this god awful mess, I have nothing for her though. I have no answers.

"Christian? Is it true?" Elliot comes to stand in front of me, he doesn't look angry or pissed off he just looks confused. I think I would be confused too if the roles were reversed, to an outsider it all sounds so crazy but to me and Ana this is our lives, we have fallen in love with each other and now we have to come clean. I lean in closer to him so only he can hear me.

"Please take Kate and Ana out of here, call everyone else and tell them not to come back yet. I promise I will tell you everything later, just keep Ana safe for me and don't leave her on her own" I pull back and he still has the same expression painted all over his face, only this time he knows. That last part was the confirmation he needed to hear telling him that Brody isn't wrong and he is telling the truth. I half expect him to punch me in the face but instead he just nods slightly and goes to grab Ana by the arm but she pulls away and moves closer to me.

"Ana go with him please, please just go" At this point Brody is facing the wall bracing himself against it with the flats of his palms hanging his head down.

"No, I need to be here with you to explain, I wont let you do this on your own"

"Please Ana, I need you somewhere else and safe right now, I will talk to him and explain everything I promise" I reach my hand up and tuck her hair back behind her ear and lean into whisper "I love you, everything will be okay"

A single tear rolls down her cheek and I quickly dash it away, she hesitates for a moment more before nodding and making her way to the front door, she doesn't look back she just leaves, I don't think I could handle seeing that devastated expression on her face again. Elliot and Kate follow her, still stunned into silence leaving me and my best friend alone.

I make my way over to the kitchen and search for two tumblers and the bourbon, Once I find the bottle I pour triple the amount you should into the glasses.

"I think it's gunna' take a lot more than fucking bourbon to fix this" Brody has pushed himself off of the wall, he picks up the tumbler and swallows the fiery liquid down in one gulp before slamming the glass back onto the bar. He lifts his head and I am met by those cold eyes that are so lifeless but yet I can see them burning with rage.

We stand there for what feels like hours, but when in reality its probably more like fifteen minutes, we're not speaking. we're not even looking at each other.

"Start talking" I take a deep breath and take a sip of my drink, I knew this wasn't going to be pretty but I never thought I would dread it this much.

"I don't know where to start"

"Start from the fucking beginning, how long have you been fucking her?" I know he thinks I have been sleeping with her while they were still together, I just cant seem to find the right words to defend myself "Tell me Christian!"

"It's not what you think, I never slept with her…While she was with you"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!" He slams his fist on the breakfast bar startling me.

"I didn't sleep with her behind your back is what I mean, well I did but she didn't cheat on you. It's only been going on a few days"

"How many days?" I cant tell him how many, they had barely broken up and I had already jumped into bed with her claiming her as mine, he will never understand.

"It started the night…The night of the Coping Together event" I whisper as I bow my head down not able to look him in the eye, I have never felt as terrible and as disgusted in myself as I do right now in this moment.

"Excuse me" Fuck don't make me say it again.

"We first slept together then, it was the night of the benefit at the Fairmont. I'm so sorry Brody I never meant…." I don't even get to finish my sentence before Brody yells out and swings his arm back sending everything that was on the breakfast bar flying across the room, he turns and lifts the dining table with both hands effectively turning it on its back with force, I have never seen him filled with such rage, Brody's not an angel he can fight with the best of them but looking at him right now. I barely recognise him.

"All this time! You fucked my girlfriend hours after I had left, the whole time I was confiding in you asking you to look after her and you fucking slept with her!" He grabs me by my shirt and slams me against the wall much like the way I did to him not even ten minutes ago, I can feel his breath on my face as his heavy panting increases but I don't fight back. If he hits me I will take it, it's nothing I don't deserve.

"I'm sorry"

"You're fucking sorry! How could you you son of a bitch! I trusted you, I trusted you with my life and you do this to me! He chokes on those last words as tears start to fall down his cheeks, seeing him this broken and crushed and knowing that I am the one who caused it sickens me to the very core of my stomach and I have to fight back my own tears.

"I never meant for this to happen it just did, neither of us wanted to hurt you. You have to believe that" He releases me and staggers backwards as he furiously wipes away his tears.

"I just don't fucking get it, why? How? How did this happen?" I decide that I just have to be brutally honest with him, he deserves the truth no matter how much it is going to hurt him.

I walk over to the couch and sit down, hunching over my knees and resting myself on my elbows.

"I have had feelings for her, I think ever since I first met her. She just mesmerised me, I couldn't stop thinking about her and I tried, you have to believe me when I say I really tried.

I thought it was just a crush, a stupid pathetic crush on my best friend's girl that would go away. But every time I saw her I would feel sick, every time I would see her with you, kissing you and touching you it would make me feel physically sick" I glance up at him and he has now moved to opposite chair with his head buried in his hands "When you fucked up with Evie, I wanted to fucking kill you for hurting her, I wanted to shake you and scream at you telling you how you had the most perfect, amazing woman and how you were destroying your relationship"

"I thought you would be happy that I had fucked up, given you the green light"

"It wasn't like that, Ana loved you and I never wanted to break you two up. Well I did but I never would of done anything about it, I wanted to fix you"

"Fix us! Yeah you did a grand job of fixing us" He scoffs sarcastically.

"You fucked up the first time Brody, you had already pushed her away by the time we ever did anything" He removes his face from his hands and looks up at me.

"What does that mean? Are you trying to say that I pushed her to you?"

"No it wasn't like that, she wanted it just as much as I did" I instantly freeze as soon as the words leave my mouth, I cannot believe I have just said that and judging by Brody's expression neither can he.

"What?"

"That came out all wrong" I scrub my face and try to compose myself, I'm doing a shit job at explaining myself "Ana, she eventually started developing feelings for me. I know its not what you want to hear but she did"

"Who made the first move?" I can't tell him about the kiss in their apartment, he doesn't need to know that but I refuse to blame Ana, even though she came to my hotel room I am not putting her in that position just so he can blame her.

"Me. She came to my room to talk to me and I ended up kissing her, I'm sure you can guess the rest" He puts his hand over his mouth and I swear I hear him gag slightly, I cant blame him. The thought of Ana in bed with anyone else makes me feel sick to my stomach too.

"This doesn't make any sense, of all the women you could have had why did it have to be her?!"

"I didn't choose it Brody, do you really think I wanted this to happen? You are my best friend and I love you, I never wanted it to come to this"

"Best friend? Some fucking best friend you are! I came to you and told you everything, the day Ana found out about Evie I came to you! And you betray me like this"

"I tried to ignore it, fuck I went out of my way to avoid her, both of you" His head snaps up and his whole demeanour changes, his eyes narrow and it's like a light bulb has just clicked on above his head.

"You were avoiding me last week, I called and texted and I got nothing back, Why?" He's pointing his finger at me the entire time he is speaking.

"I just told you, I felt awkward and uncomfortable and I needed space, it was easier to be out of the way" He doesn't look all that convinced, I can hear my voice shaking and I know I don't sound like I'm being honest.

"You said Ana wanted this just as much as you, what does that mean?" He looks at me with watery eyes again and I have to tear my gaze away, I cant look at him when he looks so broken it's physically killing me. I hesitate for a few minutes more not knowing the best way to say this.

"You two were barely speaking, you have to admit to yourself that you weren't in a good place Brody. We just got close, I don't know what else to say"

"She still loved me though, just like I loved her" His voice shakes and he drops his head into his hands once again "Did she try and push you off? When you kissed her did she push you away?"

I consider lying to him purely so he doesn't feel so fucking shitty about this but I cant, he has been lied to for long enough "No she didn't, she didn't even try to push me away" I expect him to blow again but he doesn't, he doesn't even raise his head.

"All this time she has been blaming me for Evie and she does this? Tell me where the fucking logic is in that?!" I don't say anything, it actually sounds like he is talking more to himself "She has destroyed our relationship and for what, a few fucks with you until you get bored with her and fuck her off" This gets my attention.

"What did you just say to me?"

"You heard me, it's what you do Christian. You fuck women and then you chuck them out like yesterdays rubbish. What makes Ana so different?" I can feel my breathing quicken as I listen to him, I cant believe he has just said that.

"I wont do that, Ana is nothing like the brainless airheads I have been with before" I growl through gritted teeth as I see a malicious smirk spread across his face.

"Oh yeah? Don't get me wrong I know what it is you see in her I have been there remember" He is trying to push me, and it's fucking working.

"Shut the fuck up Brody"

"What it's true, I fucked her for the best part of a year remember? She's good isn't she? She knows just how to get me going, those tits in your face as you fuck the living shit out of her. And don't forget the amazing head that she gives, she never fails to swallow…" I don't even let him finish that disgusting sentence before I stand and drag him up by his collar, getting in his face only leaving inches between us.

"Shut you're fucking mouth Brody, don't you _ever _talk that way about her again you hear me? She is not some slut who I want for a quick fuck when I'm bored, she's special and beautiful and when I'm not with her she is all I can think about. I'm in love with her"

That wipes the smug smirk off his face, all of the colour drains from his face and his mouth drops open slightly, I know he wasn't expecting him to profess my love for her, neither was I in all honesty but hearing those filthy words leave his mouth made me lose it, now I have that visual in my head and I know I'm going to have to make love to Ana over and over again tonight to wipe it out.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me, I love her. I'm in love with her and she's in love with me" He pulls away from my grip as if I am burning him with my touch, I have never seen him look so shocked and disgusted. Not even earlier tonight when he first caught us together.

"You're wrong, she doesn't love you, she's just using you to get back at me"

"She loves me Brody" I inhale a deep breath "She told me she does, while we were in Paris together"

"Paris? What?"

"She came to Paris with me, I asked her to come and she did. We spent two amazing days together and that's where she told me she loved me"

"She was at her Dad's, you're fucking lying! He points his finger at me again.

No I'm not, she just said that for a cover story. She was with me"

His eyes widen even more as the realisiation hits him like a freight train, now he knows that Ana was with me in Paris and not at her Dad's in Montesano. I watch as he slowly steps backwards, never once tearing his eyes from mine looking at me like I am a complete stranger, I know in many ways that's what I am to him now. He continues to walk until he reaches the apartment door, he looks at me one last time before turning and bolting from the room.

Once he's gone I bend over and place my hands on top of my knees releasing the biggest breath as if I have just ran a marathon. Now he knows, he knows everything and it only makes me feel even more sick.

**Anastasia's POV**

"Here, drink this" Kate sits next to me and hands me a glass of something, I don't look at it but I can smell it a mile away, it smells like vodka or tequila.

We have just arrived back to her apartment and I have been staring at the same spot on the wall ever since I sat down, Elliot has wisely made himself scarce, I don't think he knows what to say right now and I don't blame him, what the hell do you say to this mess? I keep replaying the whole scene over and over in my head. Christian ravaging me with his mouth and me loving every single minute of it practically begging for more. I keep remembering the minute that I opened my eyes and saw Brody standing right in front of me, I will never forget the look on his face. The horror, the disgust and the hate. I shiver as I think about what is going on between him and Christian right now.

"Ana, talk to me. Tell me what happened?" I hear Kate say from beside me, I don't want to talk about it.

"Not now Kate"

"Yes now Ana, what the hell is going on between you and Christian? You're sleeping with him?" I simply just shrug at her not moving my gaze away from the wall.

"Ana?"

"There's nothing else to say Kate, I have been fucking Christian and now I'm in love with him" I say completely dead pan as I pick up the glass and chug the whole lot in one gulp, relishing the fiery burn as I swallow it.

"Love?" Kate chokes out, I turn my head and her expression radiates nothing but shock.

"I love him, it's fucked up but it's true" For the first time ever Kate is stunned into silence, it's a novel experience "I didn't go to see my Dad Kate, I went to Paris with Christian"

"What?" Her eyes widen as I know she wasn't expecting that.

"He asked me to go to Paris with him , I spent two days with him there. Did you not see this on my neck?" I move my hair away from my neck so she can see the hickey, she softly touches it as if she is checking it's real.

"I saw something but I honestly just thought it was a bruise. Shit Ana why didn't you tell me?"

"About the hickey?"

"No not about the hickey! About Paris! Why didn't you tell me?" She sounds hurt and I instantly feel guilty, I tell Kate everything, from what day I come on my period to what I have for breakfast, so for me to keep something as big as this from her must be really hurtful. I twist my body and grasp on to her hand.

"I'm sorry Katie, I wanted to tell you really I did, it was just too risky. We couldn't risk Brody finding out"

"I would never have told him!"

"No I know that, but the less people that knew the less chance of it getting out. You understand don't you?" She looks at me and nods sincerely, squeezing my hand.

"Of course I do, I just want you to feel like you can tell me anything. Best friends remember?" I smile at her and lean in for a hug, I just want to feel the comfort of my best friend right now.

"Always"

"So, you and Christian Grey huh? You lucky bitch!" I laugh my first real laugh of the night and pull back to see her grinning right back at me.

"Yeah I am rather lucky, he's amazing Kate"

"Yeah?" She asks and I can tell she is genuinely interested, this is what I love about this girl right here, she never judges me.

"Yeah really, he just gets me you know? I clicked with him in a way I have never clicked with anyone before…It sounds terrible but I didn't even click with Brody like that" I look at my knotted fingers in my lap feeling ashamed to admit it.

"Hey, it's not terrible Ana. You cant help who you fall for" Just then there is a loud and harsh bang on the front door, my head snaps round and I instantly know it will be either Brody or Christian.

"Shall I answer it?" Kate asks as she looks at me.

"Open this fucking door Ana before I knock it down!" My heart sinks into my stomach. Brody

"You don't have to talk to him"

"No I do, I owe him that much and besides, if I don't answer it he will never leave" Kate stands and makes her way to the door, she doesn't even get it halfway open before a furious Brody storms through strolling over to where I am still sat.

"Kate, can you leave us please?" I whisper as I look into the malicious eyes of my ex boyfriend.

"Ana….I don't think that's a good idea"

"I'll be fine Kate honestly go" I don't actually mean a word of that, If anything I want nothing more than to run from this room screaming, Kate must catch on to my hostility because she mouths 'I will call Christian" as she leaves. _Thank fuck._

Once she has left my whole body tenses as the temperature in the room plummets to zero, Brody is just staring at me and I don't know what to do.

"How. Fucking. Could. You?" He spits out at me. So I guess he is just jumping straight in there.

"Brody I…I'm sorry"

"No you're not! You have been lying to me this whole time you bitch, making me feel so shit over Evie and the whole time you WERE FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND!" He roars right in my face making me stand.

"No actually! You lied to me about that whore long before I even touched Christian!" I get in his face and jab him hard in his chest "What I have done doesn't take away the fact you treated me like shit!" He moves closer to me and I can see his chest heaving hard and heavy.

"You still fucking betrayed me, and how the _fuck _can youcall Evie a whore after the way you have behaved?"

"Well if the cap fits!"

"You know what Ana, I should of just fucked her when I had the chance, got in there before you" I raise my hand and the next thing I feel is the sharp sting as my hand connects with his cheek.

"Fuck off Brody!" I seethe "You as good as slept with her anyway, you were never the same after that" He holds his face with his hand rubbing the area where I hit him looking at me with utter horror. I cant believe I did that myself, I have never hit him and we have had some hot and heated arguments in the past.

"But I didn't did I, because I loved you. Where was your love for me when you were jumping onto Christian's dick eh?" I don't know what to say, when I first slept with Christian I hadn't fallen out of love with Brody, I just chose to switch my feelings off for a while, hoping it would take away the guilt.

"I did love you, but what did you do with it? You abused it and lied to me, making me feel like shit for being affected by you spending time with your ex girlfriend. You made me feel like I was in the wrong!"

"So you fuck my friend?! Did you do it just to get back at me?!

"No!"

"Then why did you do it?!" He's inches away from my face again now.

"Because I love him!" I scream so loud I'm pretty sure they heard me in Bellevue. He steps back from me and closes his eyes as if he is taking in my words.

"He told me that already" He whispers. Huh? Christian already told him that I love him?

"He told you?"

"Yes" I run my hand through my hair and breathe deeply.

"I'm sorry"

"For what? Fucking my best friend? Lying to me about it? Or for going to Paris with him?" My eyes snap to his. He knows about Paris?

"Yeah your lover boy already told me all about that, nice touch I must say"

"It wasn't ever anything malicious"

"No? So it was just so you could spend time together in the most romantic city in the world? Get some good fucking in did you?" He spits as he moves closer to me.

"Don't say that, you make it sound do sordid"

"Well wasn't it?! Tell me Ana, does he make you feel the way I do?" He gets in my face and I can feel his breath on my lips.

"Stop it"

"Stop what? Just tell me, does he know your body like I do?" He places his finger underneath my chin and tilts my head up so my eyes meet with his, I hold my breath. "I bet he doesn't, I bet he doesn't fuck you like I can fuck you" he whispers to me and puts his hands on my hips, my hands automatically fly up to his chest getting ready to push him off, he's gotten physical with me before and I know he can do it again.

"Brody, get off of me" I try and keep my voice even but I cant mistake the evident fear hidden in there. He pushes me back roughly into the wall behind me.

"You know you loved it between us baby, you cant deny that not for anyone. Let me show you how good we were?" He roughly grabs my hands and pins them to the either sides of my face, I want to kick and scream but I cant, it's like I'm frozen.

"No, I don't want to. Let me go" I'm close to tears now, I know that he is hurting and he isn't in the right frame of mind right now. But that only frightens me more, he is capable of anything.

"Get your fucking hands off of her" I hear from the right of me and I instantly recognise it as Christian's voice, I turn my head and lock eyes with him. He is stood in the doorway with eyes like ice, I can only imagine what this must look like to him.

Brody has me pinned against a wall practically on top of me, I'm near breaking point and I can feel myself shaking.

"You heard me, get your hands off of her before I make you" He isn't shouting, he isn't screaming. But his voice is laced with menace and to be honest it scares me all the more, he looks like he is ready to explode into blind rage any minute now.

Brody slowly releases me and backs away, I instantly bring my hands down and wrap my arms around myself to try and provide my body with some warmth.

"Now get out" Christian growls but Brody doesn't move.

"We aren't finished talking"

"You are now, leave Brody before I throw you out" He turns his attention back to me and eyes me up and down, before leaning in and whispering "You are making a huge mistake Ana, he will only throw you away mark my words" His words sting but I don't listen to him, I know that's not true. He's in pain and he naturally wants to make me and Christian feel pain.

He walks towards the door and I see them both glare at each other like tigers circling each other ready to pounce, Brody slams the door shut making me flinch.

Christian immediately strolls towards me and folds me in his arms, pressing his lips against my forehead and stroking my hair, I place my arms around his torso and squeeze hard, he feels and smells so good.

"God baby are you okay?" His voice sounds so strangled and I know he is thinking the worst.

"I'm fine, he didn't hurt me Christian" I mumble in his chest without releasing him "It just scared me seeing him like that"

"I could have fucking killed him"

"He's hurting baby, he isn't in the right frame of my mind. Once he calms down he will hate himself for doing that I know. He isn't violent you know that" He leans back and cradles my face in his hands.

"I know, I just cant bear the thought of you getting hurt" I cut him off with a kiss.

"I wasn't though okay" He nods and regards me intently for several seconds un-nerving me slightly.

"You. Are. Mine. Ana" He says with such passion and adoration I feel my insides tighten and my legs wobble, that's the first time he has said that to me and I have never heard anything as possessive and all consuming as that sentence right there.. I reach up and touch his lips softly.

"I am yours Christian, only yours" He crashes his lips to mine and holds me so tight in his arms to prevent me from falling to the floor from the force of his attack, I meld into him and lose myself in the kiss, all of the hurt and the anguish from tonight is poured into this one kiss and it's so…Intoxicating. Finally he releases my lips and I draw in a breath as I feel he has just sucked it all out of me.

"Come on, you're coming back to my apartment tonight"

"What? Why aren't we just staying here?"

"Because I need to make love to you Ana, I need to claim your sweet little body all night and I need privacy for that" I think my heart just stopped beating, he gently strokes my cheek and kisses me softly before talking my hand and leading me to the door.

I don't need telling twice,


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 - Trying to understand**

**A/N - I am so overwhelmed with all of your reviews on the last chapter. Thank you so much!**

**I apologise that this has taken a few days to get out so I have decided to make it a little longer to make it up to you (:**

**Hope you enjoy this next chapter and please review!**

**Anastasia's POV**

I stretch my limbs and blink my eyes open, lifting my head up off of the pillow I feel slightly disorientated for several seconds until I remember that I am in Christian's bedroom at his apartment. I slowly turn to my side and stretch my arm out for him only to be greeted with a cold and empty spot _He's not here. _I lean myself up on my elbows looking around the colossal area of space that is Christian's room, looking for his clothes that were strewn all over the floor but find nothing.

My jaw nearly fell to the floor when we arrived back here last night, I knew that his apartment was going to be flash and superior but I never expected it to be like this, just the sheer magnitude of the place alone knocked me for six. He proceeded to give me a quick tour but as soon as we reached his bedroom door on the second landing we didn't resurface again for the entire night.

After his '_You are mine' _declaration my head was in a complete tail spin, I was a mix of confusion, lust and adoration for the man stood in front of me and the only way I knew how to convey my feelings for him was to let him claim me as his, and solely his. Sex with Christian has always been incredible, but last night was something different entirely, it felt like a whole weight had been lifted from both of our shoulders allowing us to relish each other properly for the first time. Instead of feeling like a dirty little secret that had to be hidden away and only brought out to play with once we were behind closed doors, I felt special and cherished. I felt like I belonged to him, _his girlfriend_.

How Brody discovered our relationship was horrific, I shudder every time my mind drifts back to the moment I opened my eyes and saw him watching us, I don't think I will lose that visual for a very long time. I never wanted for him to find out that way, I wanted to sit down with him and explain how Christian and I slowly started to develop feelings for each other and how it all eventually became too difficult for us to ignore.

I know that he sees my actions as betrayal, and on many levels he's right. I was still in a relationship with Brody when I kissed Christian for the first time, but emotionally my feelings for Brody were already descending on a downward spiral. I had lost my trust in the man that once meant the world to me, every time I would see him on his phone I would become incensed with paranoia wondering if he was texting her or any other woman for that matter, it may sound extremely hypocritical coming from me but without trust what are you left with? A relationship is nothing without trust.

I shake my head ridding myself of my own thoughts and kick my legs out of the bed, I wrap the sheet tighter around my naked body and hunt for something to wear, the only clothes I have are the ones I was wearing last night but without clean underwear there is not a chance in hell they are going back on.

I spot a white robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door and shrug it on noticing straight away that this is a female's robe. _Why does he have a woman's robe in his bathroom? _Macy immediately springs to mind but I wipe that nauseating thought away instantly, I doubt that Christian even allowed her to stay the night let alone provide her with clothing. But then again what do I know? I have known this man all of five minutes so my knowledge of what he has done with women previously is next to nothing.

I descend down the hallway and the stairs looking for Christian as I go but not seeing him anywhere, judging by the coldness of his side of the bed he has been up for a while, he wouldn't leave for work without saying goodbye would he? Once I am downstairs I head straight for the kitchen area, my mouth gapes open in awe as I take in the beauty of his apartment once again.

There is a stark contrast of white throughout and there are very few indications that give away someone actually lives here, in all honesty it looks like a show home and nothing more, there are no pictures of his family or personal belongings scattered anywhere, but that doesn't take away how utterly stunning it all is. What really takes my breath away is the floor to ceiling windows that provide such a mesmerising view of the city skyline, I spot a spacious seating area on the balcony and smile to myself when I think about sitting there at night with Christian, drinking wine and watching the beautiful lights twinkle below us, maybe have dinner out there? Sex even? Now _that _would be an experience. A romp with my man in full public view overlooking Seattle, Hmm I will have to put that forward to him.

"Can I help at all?" I jump out of my skin and scream as I hear the voice from behind me, I spin on my heel clutching my chest as I come face to face with a middle aged woman dressed in a black pencil skirt and white blouse "Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to startle you, you just looked a little lost" She's beautiful with blonde hair twisted artfully into a chignon and light make up.

Her features are delicate and even though I can tell she is perhaps in her early forties she looks a lot younger than her years, she radiates warmth and her small smile instantly relaxes me.

"I'm sorry, you are. . .?" I know I must look embarrassed not knowing who this woman standing in the middle of my boyfriends apartment is because that's exactly how I feel, she steps forward and holds her hand out to me.

"Do excuse me for not introducing myself Miss Steele, I'm Mrs Jones. Mr Grey's housekeeper"

I take her hand and give it a soft shake, so Christian has staff? And she knows who I am?

"Pleasure to meet you Mrs Jones and please, call me Ana" She smiles at me as I release her hand, realising I am wearing nothing but a robe I start to feel some what uncomfortable, I pull the tie tighter and cross my arms in front of my chest, this isn't the thickest of materials and the last thing I want is for my nipples to make an appearance, now that would make me want the ground to swallow me whole.

"Can I get you anything? Breakfast or some coffee?"

"Ummm. . .Coffee would be great but it's okay I can fix it myself" I'm not used to having people look after me like this, I have always been self sufficient even when I was a teenager so my feeling slightly uncomfortable would be an understatement right now.

"Nonsense, take a seat and I will make it for you" I meekly follow her to the kitchen area and perch myself on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, I desperately try to find something to start a conversation with as she busies herself with my coffee but she looks like she isn't one to usually talk while she works, is she even allowed to have an open discussion with me? I don't know how strict Christian is with her.

"How long have you worked for Christian?"

"Oh only for six months or so, not long at all"

"Do you enjoy it?" I know I sound nosey but I hate awkward silences, it's bad enough that I am sat here practically naked.

"Most certainly, Mr Grey is a wonderful man to work for, I haven't known him for very long but I can already see that he has a big heart" I smile as I listen to her talk about Christian, he has that affect on most people I think, his kind and caring personality shines through almost instantly. He might be a big bad business man working in the cut-throat world of mergers and acquisitions, but deep down he is an absolute softy and he would do anything for the people he loves.

"He is wonderful" She places my coffee in front of me and I wrap my hands around the mug "Speaking of, do you know where he is?"

"He often works out with Mr Taylor in the mornings, either in the penthouse gym or they go out for a run. He should be back soon. Are you sure you wouldn't like any breakfast?"

"Oh no I'm fine thank you, I'm not a big breakfast eater"

"Okay, well don't hesitate to ask me if there is anything else you need" I smile at her and watch as she departs the kitchen leaving me alone.

I can't help but wonder if she is used to tending to women dressed in barely anything, I silently berate myself for letting my mind wander to Christian's exes again but I cant help it, he has openly admitted that he didn't do relationships before I came along but what did he do?

Did he just fuck them and tell them to get out afterwards?

Or did he allow them to stay the night? Cuddle with them and hold them?

My stomach roils at the thought of other women sat where I am sat right now, dressed in this very robe after a night of fucking with the sex god that is Christian Grey. I know I have to bring this up with him or I will drive myself stir crazy, he knows of my past relationships and flings but I am yet to really question him on his, I don't want a number from him. To be honest I don't think my mind could take knowing how many women he has slept with, sometimes ignorance can indeed be pure bliss.

I am pulled from my internal debate as I feel a pair of strong sweaty arms engulf my waist.

"Good morning gorgeous" Christian nuzzles my neck and peppers soft kisses all the way from my ear to the hollow of my shoulder blade.

"Right back at you Grey, where have you been?" I turn my head and capture his roaming lips with mine, lingering slightly and relishing the taste of his salty top lip where beads of sweat have formed, its strangely erotic.

"I went for a run with Taylor, I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful sleeping" He releases me and makes his way over to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. He looks mouth watering dressed in sweat pants and a tight vest that clings to every delicious muscle, there are slight patches of sweat around his neck and underneath his arms but that only adds to the appeal even more.

"Yeah, well I was tired, I didn't get that much sleep last night" He smirks devilishly at me before tipping his head back and taking a long drink of his water, my eyes train to his neck watching the lump in his throat as he swallows, he makes everything look so hot.

"Oh yeah? I didn't hear any complaints coming from your end baby" Of course there wasn't, I didn't want him to put me down for a single second.

"Hmm funny that, I must have been enjoying myself" He saunters back over to me pulling me around to face him, placing himself in between my parted thighs.

"I whole heartedly agree Miss Steele. Have you met Mrs Jones yet?"

"I have, she's lovely. You didn't tell me you had a house keeper" I slide my hands up his chest and around his neck as his arms settle around the lower of my back.

"Just all part of the package, I have no time to cook or clean and besides, you women are just so much better at it then we are" I slap the side of his head as he grins cheekily at me.

"Sexist pig. I do have a question for you though"

"Yeah? Fire away"

"Am I the first?" He lifts his eyes to mine and his face morphs into confusion, his brows furrow causing tiny frown lines to form and I resist the urge to reach up and kiss them.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean am I the first to stay the night? Am I the first one to meet Mrs Jones and am I the first woman that has worn this robe?" I get out in one rushed breath.

"Whoa, where did all that come from?"

"I'm just curious, this isn't a man's robe Christian so it has to be one of your. . . Conquests" He looks at me for a minute no doubt trying to figure out what to say for the best, now that I think about it if this robe does belong to Macy I will be seriously pissed, it's like me giving him something of Brody's to wear. It's just weird.

"Okay first of all, I don't want you thinking things like that. Secondly no, no one else has stayed the night Ana, a few of my exes have met Mrs Jones but that is only because she works for me.

And thirdly, that robe does not belong to any one of them it's Mia's"

"Mia? Your sister?"

"She has a whole wardrobe of clothes in the guest room but she must have left that in my bathroom, she often stays here when I am away on business. I didn't provide them with night wear Ana" I can't help but notice the disdain in his voice and I know I have pissed him off, I drop my gaze feeling stupid for even asking but he lifts my chin straight back up again with this finger.

"They didn't mean anything to me Ana I have already told you this, it's only you"

Christian drops his head into the crook of my neck kissing me softly, but it's not long before they turn into hot, wet, open mouthed kisses which he drags all the way across to my throat "It's only ever been you" I close my eyes as I lose myself in his touch, feeling his hands come to rest on top of my breasts kneading them slightly causing my breathing to quicken and my nipples to harden. I push my chest into his palm only for his right hand to skim past the side of my breast and move lower and lower until he reaches the apex of my thighs, he takes a step closer to me and I instantly feel his prominent erection pressing into my stomach. His hand creeps underneath the hem of my robe and I cant help the groan that leaves my lips as his fingers find the wet flesh that is hidden there.

"You're so wet baby, what have you been thinking about?"

"You" I breathe into his ear before taking his lobe into my mouth and sucking slightly, I fist my hand into his hair as he slides two fingers through my folds but never once giving me the penetration that I so desperately need, the more he teases the heavier my breathing becomes. I push my hand into his sweat pants and grab a hold of his hard and heavy dick, he sucks a sharp breath through his teeth and pinches my clit softly making me mewl.

"Fuck baby don't do that, we haven't got time I need to get ready for work" I don't feel the conviction in his words though as his forehead drops to mine, all the while his fingers are still teasing me.

"You know you want to, you started this" In other words finish it. If he thinks he can make a habit of turning me on and bringing me to the brink of an earth shattering orgasm before leaving me high and dry he can think again.

My hips start to rock to their own accord as I fist my hand around him and begin to pump him all the way from base to tip. I feel a bead of pre-cum form and I swipe it off with my finger, I lift my eyes to his and brazenly place my finger into my mouth, sucking it harshly before releasing it with a loud pop.

He hurriedly unties the sash of my robe leaving my naked body on show to him, I feel my nipples pucker as the cold breeze hits them making me shiver slightly. A low groan reverberates deep from Christian's chest as he finally thrusts two fingers inside of me, my head drops back and I feel my hair tumble past my shoulders tickling my lower back, I can already feel my muscles begin to tighten and I know that it wont be long before I explode.

I release him for a second so I can yank his sweats down past his hips along with his boxers, once they hit his knees he gracefully steps out of them and kicks them somewhere across the apartment floor. I fling my leg up and out so that the heel of my foot is resting against the edge of the breakfast bar, allowing him to slide a third finger inside of me.

"Fuck baby, that's so fucking hot. Ride my hand Ana"

I take his dick in my hand again and continue to pump whilst I grind down on his hand, I can feel my upper thighs begin to shake and when Christian curls his fingers into a "come hither" motion and hits my G-Spot I scream out and buck into his hand so hard that I almost fall off of the damn chair.

"Yeah, that's it baby. You look so amazing right now. So beautiful" I open my eyes and lock gazes with his. It overwhelms me sometimes how much I love this gorgeous and wonderful man, in just a few short weeks he has become my reason for living, I can't function without knowing he is close to me. He completely consumes me body and soul and I know that I am in this for the long run. I am his and only his.

With that thought I detonate around his fingers, my eyes roll back into my head and I feel my legs begin to shake uncontrollably. I am a wet, quivering mess of limbs and I can't stop the primal scream that erupts from my throat. As the waves continue to roll throughout my body Christian removes his fingers and slams into me with full force, causing more smaller spasms that feel like they last forever.

I grip onto his bicep with one hand and grasp the edge of the counter with the other to prevent myself from falling straight on to the floor, he leans forward and wraps his arms around my back holding me tightly as he drives into me.

"Fucking hell Ana! You are so fucking tight" He grunts out into the dip of my shoulder before biting down softly, he reaches for my leg that is still perched on the breakfast bar and brings it so that I can wrap it around his waist. He picks me up off of the stool and walks us over to the couch in the centre of the great room, with every step he takes his dick repeatedly hits the throbbing ache inside of me making me cry out, he lowers me onto the couch and picks his speed back up again, fuck its even deeper this way.

Christian braces himself onto his forearms looking into my eyes whilst stroking a tendril of hair that has fallen away from my face.

"I want you to come again for me, I want to feel you baby" How can his words alone have such an affect on me? It's like they have a hot wire straight to my groin leaving me a quivering pool of desire.

He bends down and latches his lips onto my neck sucking harshly, the fear of him leaving another disgusting hickey jumps to the forefront of my mind so I reach for his face and pull him straight to my mouth, stroking my tongue against his we continue to fight the battle for dominance, finding myself losing and Christian winning.

He reaches for my hands and yanks them so they are planted firmly above my head, effectively immobilising me so that I am nothing more than a rag doll to do with as he pleases, I feel spent and lifeless as he continues his relentless thrusting, fuck how can he have this much stamina? Christian has only ever been the one person to be able to exhaust me to the brink of collapsing during sex, yet I never want to him to stop. The moment he releases me I feel bereft and empty and I want nothing more than pull him close to me again and demand that instant connection with him once more, I lock my ankles around his lower back and push his ass down so that he can move deeper.

"Oh yeah baby, you like that?" I capture his upper lip with my teeth and clamp down hard "Fuck Ana!" He growls underneath my hold and thrusts his hips sharply which only causes me to bite even harder, I feel a metallic tang coat my own lips and I instantly recognise it as blood, _Fuck I've made him bleed!_

He either hasn't realised or just doesn't care because he releases my hands and sits up resting on the backs of his knees, grasping my hips in a vice like grip he pounds into me harder than I have ever felt him go before, I think I actually feel him in my womb and it takes a moment for me to catch my breath, suddenly Mrs Jones pops into my lust filled mind, _where is she? _She could just be around the corner hearing every damn moan and scream that leaves my mouth and Christian isn't exactly being quiet either.

Or even worse Taylor could be watching us on a security monitor right now! Oddly enough the notion of that only turns me on even more, the thought of our explicit round of sex being caught on camera for everyone to see, combined with Christian reaching in between us and rubbing my clit furiously is what finally pushes me over the edge. I screw my eyes together tight and dig my nails into Christian's back as the spasms rack my entire body, scraping them all the way down to his forearms.

All I feel is white, hot heat scorching throughout my body and my brain feels like it's being flooded, I feel him shudder on top of me and the roar that leaves his throat is so primal that I swear it only makes me come harder, he finally collapses on top of me and I run my fingers through his sweat drenched locks trying to calm him down, he is breathing so hard and fast I fear he might start to hyperventilate. After what feels like hours he lifts his head and I am met with his beautiful, piercing grey orbs, he smiles the most breathtaking smile and I just know I am grinning like the cat that got the cream right back at him.

"Fuck Ana, that was incredible. You came so hard I thought you were going to snap my dick off" He chuckles at me breathlessly as he pulls out of me and flopping himself down on the opposite end of the couch.

"You turn me on Mr Grey, what's a girl supposed to do?" I grin at him as I sit up and wrap the robe around me once again, I make a mental note that I must get this washed before I give it back to Mia. Or maybe I should just get her a new one? Yeah that sounds more appropriate.

"You make a valid point there baby, did you bite my lip?" I burst into a fit of giggles as he pats his thumb against his lip and sure enough, there's blood there.

"Sorry, I got carried away"

"Don't apologise, that's so fucking hot"

He strokes his hand up and down my bare leg, it's not sexual it's more soothing. Thank god, I don't think I could take another round like that for a while, he looks so comfortable and relaxed as he sits there still naked from the waist down, his cock now flaccid but still extremely impressive.

"I really have to get to the office, I have back to back meetings all day" I don't want him to go, I want to stay with him like this, just the two of us basking in each others company. Preferably naked. But I have to leave for work soon also.

"I know, me too"

"Sawyer will drive you to work"

"Ummm I need clothes first, unless you want me to go like this?" I gesture to my state of dress with my hand and catch his sly smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"This hot little body is for my eyes only baby so that would be a no, but I have already have that covered, I had Taylor get you some clothes this morning"

"Huh? From Kate's?"

"No, from Neiman's. They are hanging in my closet"

"You did that?"

"Of course I did, I didn't think you would want to rock up to work in last nights clothes" He gives me the most adorable smile and it just makes me want to straddle him and jump him all over again.

"You are so sweet, did you get me underwear too?" He nods at me and I see the salacious twinkle in his eyes. "Wait, how did you know my size?" He scoffs at me and leans forward to press a delicate kiss on the top of my knee.

"Baby, did you really think I didn't know your bra size? I have been very up close and personal with those beautiful puppies lately" Boy has he! But still, he knows my bra size?

"I'm impressed Grey, you are full of surprises" He stands and holds his hand out for me to take so he can pull me up, he pushes me in front of him by my shoulders slapping my ass as I take a few steps ahead of him, I turn and glare at him only to be met with the shit eating grin that is spread across his face, I smirk and rub the spot on my ass that is now stinging and head straight for the bedroom.

"I'm gunna' take a shower, do you want to scrub my back?" He raises his eyebrows suggestively at me making me laugh, is he ever not ready for sex?

"As tempting as that sounds I think I'll pass, we don't have time" I glance to the bedside clock and see that it's already 9.30am. Fuck I have less than an hour before my shift starts "In fact, I'm gunna' use the shower in the guest bedroom, save time" He pouts at me and I swear it only makes him look even more hotter than he already is.

"Don't pout, it does things to me and we don't have time" I reach up and give him a soft, chaste kiss and pull away before he can deepen it any further.

I head into his closet and instantly spot the outfit he got for me, a beautiful navy, smitty lace pencil skirt and a black, sleeveless jersey peplum top. _Does he have good taste in fashion or what? Or is that Taylor? _I pull my clothes off of the hanger and head straight for the guest bedroom.

* * *

"Baby, if Brody calls you today or tries to contact you in any way you have to tell me" I twist my head in Christian's direction as we ride the elevator down to the basement garage.

"Why?" He fiddles with his tie and smoothes his jacket looking somewhat nervous, not even an hour ago he looked like a bad boy in his sweaty workout gear and now he's dressed in a fitted Tom Ford suit that makes him smoulder, once again I marvel at just how beautiful he truly is. He can pull off any look and any style and he's all mine.

"I just don't want him near you right now Ana, he's no doubt still really pissed about us and I haven't forgotten what he did to you last night either" He interlaces his fingers with mine and leads me across the parking lot once the elevator doors open.

"Christian, he wasn't thinking rationally last night, he had just walked in on us practically fucking for crying out loud, we both knew this would affect him. He's not a bad person you know that " He stops and turns to face me once we reach the two Audi SUV's.

"Baby, I know he was upset and shocked but that doesn't excuse what he did, fuck when I think about what could of happened if I hadn't walked in when I did" I feel a shudder run through me when I re-play Brody pinning me against the wall in my mind. I admit that I was petrified, his eyes were so cold and callous and for that split second that he had me restrained I didn't recognise him, he wasn't the sweet and caring Brody that I once fell in love with.

Christian must sense my trepidation because he pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly close to his chest, I feel his lips press against the top of my head repeatedly and I wonder if he is trying to sooth me or himself right now.

"I won't let him hurt you baby, I need to try and figure out a way to fix this but you have to promise to let me deal with him" He pulls back and cradles my face with his hands looking into my eyes, silently imploring me to agree with him "Promise me Anastasia" _Ooh Anastasia! _

"Okay, I promise" My voice is barely above a whisper but I know he hears me because he instantly latches his lips onto mine, no doubt thanking me for being reasonable.

I understand that he is worried about Brody's state of mind right now but I know that he would never hurt me, not deep down. He still loves me and the two people that he trusted most in the world let him down, that kind of betrayal cuts deep and I know that it will take a lot more than pretty words and a beer for Christian to get through to him.

"See you back here tonight?" He whispers against my lips as he pulls back from our kiss, I see Sawyer in the corner of my eye opening the door to one of the SUV's and I take that as my signal that he's ready to leave.

"Yeah, okay" I kiss him softly once more before I jump into the back of the Audi.

**Christian's POV**

"Get Morris on the phone to reschedule next weeks lunch meeting, make it a Wednesday instead. Call Mile High and reserve the private dining room, there will be seven of us in total. Chase the contract with Van de Burgh also, I need the final copies forwarded straight to legal by the end of the day"

Andrea taps away furiously on her tablet as I fire my instructions at her, to her credit she never once flusters or looks panicked. She is probably the one person other than my Mother that can handle me and my asshole ways, I know if I ever lost her as a PA I would be seriously fucked, she's just brilliant.

"Anything else Sir?"

"Yes, if Anastasia Steele calls you put her through to me immediately, I don't give a fuck what I'm in the middle of she's put straight through to me understand?"

"Yes Sir" I dismiss her and no more than five minutes later she buzzes the intercom telling me that Elliot is here asking to see me. Fuck, no doubt he's here to chew my ass over Ana.

"Send him through Andrea" Ten seconds later my big brother walks through my office door looking seriously pissed, no surprise there.

"What the fuck Christian?" No hello or how are you then, just straight into the lecture.

"If you're here to berate me over Ana you can fuck off Elliot, I wont be made to feel like I have done something wrong" He rubs his hands through his hair and scratches his scalp, something we both do when we're exasperated. I note that he is dressed in his work clothes, trailing dirt through my fucking office.

"Don't give me that bull shit Christian, you are fucking your best friend's girlfriend! Do you not see how fucked up that is?"

"Ex girlfriend actually, and yes the thought has crossed my mind once or twice. I'm not a complete shit head" He flops himself down on my corner sofa and crosses his ankle over his knee.

"How did this even happen?" I stand and walk to the edge of my desk, sitting on the corner.

"It's a really long, complicated story but all you need to know is that Ana and I are a couple now. That's not going to change"

"Well you're gunna' have to fucking explain it to me Christian because I am at a loss here, one minute we're all having a good time and the next thing I know I walk into the kitchen straight into that fucking mess, what the fuck?" I think Elliot is the one person that curses more than I do, he can be talking about the weather and the word 'fuck' sneaks it's way in there at least five times.

"Have you seen him?" I ask him and inhale a deep breath, rubbing my left temple at the same time.

"No, he didn't come to work this morning and I can't get through to his cell, the poor bastards probably face down in his vomit right now, no doubt he drank his body weight in whiskey last night"

"I love her Elliot" This causes his head to snap up and his eyes widen to the size of golf balls "Do you get it now? Do you seriously think that I would do this to Brody if I didn't have feelings for Ana?"

He doesn't say anything, he just looks at me like I have grown two heads. No doubt in shock at hearing me confess my love for someone, I don't he has even heard me say the word 'love' out loud before. I make my way over to the couch and sit down next to him.

"It started off as me just fancying the shit out of her, every time I would see her my dick would nearly burst out of my pants at the sight of her. But then I couldn't stop thinking about her, she would consume my mind all day long and when we slept together for the first time I just knew, I knew that I was in love with her"

"When did you sleep with her? Was she still with Brody?"

I'm not surprised that he asks me this, he knows that I have fucked women before that were in relationships, hell some of them were even married but I didn't give a shit as long as I got what I wanted. For the first time I see my actions in a different light, if some prick tried to sleep with Ana I would rip their fucking head off with my bare hands without even blinking, bringing me back to my feelings of absolute hypocrisy. Because that's exactly what I did to Brody right?

"No, well not really. It was the night we were at the Fairmont, after she had punched him. Ana says in her eyes they had already broken up and there was no going back, so we just. . . ."

"Fucked?" I can't help but laugh at Elliot, he always has to say things exactly how they are.

"Yeah, pretty much. I just can't imagine my life without her, and I know that I have risked my relationship with my best friend to be with her but Ell, Ana is more than worth it"

"Fuck me, I never thought I would see the day that you fell in love. Has hell frozen over?" I grin and shake my head, that's a pretty good comparison.

"You could say that"

"So you are in love with Ana, Ana's in love with you, and Kate's in love with me? We're a right fucking bunch" My head shoots in his direction and I see him gazing at the floor not blinking, something tells me that he didn't mean to say that out loud.

"What? Kate's in love with you?!" He snaps himself from his internal reverie and looks at me for several seconds before he shakes his head and scrubs his face with his hands.

"That's what she was telling me before we walked in on you guys in the kitchen, she admitted that she's in love with me and has been all along, I didn't know what to fucking say back Christian"

"Well, do you love her?" I ask even though I already know that he does, he starts to pick at some dried dirt on the bottom of his boot.

"I don't know, I mean I know I care for her but do I love her? The sex is amazing and I always end up going back to her, all this love shit is just too confusing. It's all so much easier when it's just no strings attached fucking" He leans forwards and runs his hand through his hair again.

"What else did she say?"

"She said that she's had it being my booty call and we're either together or are we aren't, so basically I fall in love with her or I lose her"

"Or realise you're already in love with her?" He slowly turns his head and his face morphs into utter confusion.

"What?"

"Elliot, you've been in love with Kate for months now. It's just you that hasn't clicked on to it yet. Fuck a month ago I would of told you to turn your back on her and move on to someone else but now. . ." I pause and try to find the right words to say, now I know what it's like to be in love with the most beautiful woman and have her love you back, words can't even begin to describe how amazing and cathartic that feels.

"Since when did you get so sappy?" Elliot snorts at me and I cant help but agree, I swear I lost my balls the day I met Ana.

"Beats me man" Just then my office door flies open and a dishevelled but furious Brody bursts right on through with Andrea hot on his tail.

"Mr Grey I am so sorry, he just came straight through I told him that he had to wait" I stand and I notice that Elliot jumps to his feet just as quick.

"It's fine Andrea, leave us please" Once she leaves and shuts the door I move towards Brody, he is in the same clothes as last night and he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. I can smell the alcohol stench on his breath from here.

I don't manage to move any further as Brody lunges forward and connects his fist with my jaw. I feel Elliot catch my arm but I shrug him off, I was expecting that swing last night so it doesn't take me by surprise whatsoever. I dab the corner of my lip with the back of my hand as I taste blood seep into my mouth , Fuck first Ana makes me bleed and now this.

"Okay, I deserved that" I grunt out as I regain my balance, bending down I pick up a tissue off of the coffee table and wipe my lip with it.

"You're fucking lucky that's all you're getting you son of a bitch" He spits out at me, I raise my eyes to his and see nothing but disgust and contempt "Elliot, fuck off and leave us please"

"I don't think so, if you're gunna' beat my bother to a pulp I'd rather stay here to clean up the mess"

"It's fine, just go Elliot" He looks at me like I've lost my mind but I don't care. This is a conversation we need to have in private.

"Christian. . ." I cut him off with my hand and motion to the door with my eyes, no doubt he is sick of me kicking him out as this is exactly what I did last night but tough shit. He looks hesitant but he eventually leaves, I think he wants to say something to Brody but decides against it as he heads straight to the door.

Brody shakes his head and starts to pace my office once Elliot leaves, I can hear him muttering something to himself but I cant quite hear what he is saying.

"All fucking night I have been re-playing it over and over in my head, but I'm left with the same question every time. Why her Christian?"

"I told you last night, I didn't mean for this to happen it just did. I don't know how many more times you want me to say it"

"Oh, I'm sorry for being such a fucking nuisance but what the fuck do you expect, you stole the woman I love away from me! We would be together right now if it wasn't for you" I whip my head up not believing what he just said, is that what he really believes?

"Brody, even if I wasn't on the scene Ana still wouldn't be with you. You betrayed her"

"Oh like she betrayed me you mean? And she would of gotten over it she's always over reacting" I cant help but notice how erratic he looks right now, his consistent pacing, the way he is rubbing his face like there's something on it every ten seconds to his wide eyes that look so lifeless but wired all at the same time, I wonder to myself if he has taken anything other than whiskey but shake that thought right out, Brody is a lot of things but he would never touch drugs.

"It was over between you two before she came to me, you have to accept that and stop blaming me for your relationship failing" He lets out a disturbing laugh and leans against the wall near the book case.

"Seriously? Because you are such a fucking angel aren't you Christian, you never do anything wrong" I know he is trying to rile me again but I wont react this time, I wont stoop to his level.

"You hurt her, you lied to her and you betrayed her trust"

"Where was that fucking trust when she was fucking my best friend!" He yells at me making me jump, this is exactly why I didn't want him near Ana, he's unpredictable and right now I consider him a threat to my girlfriend.

"That's beside the point and you know it, you're rough with her. What you did last night was disgusting and you're lucky I'm not laying you out right now for that" I spit through gritted teeth as I recall the moment I walked in on him on top of Ana, just the thought of it makes my skin crawl. He pushes himself off the wall and continues that fucking frustrating pacing again.

"Don't be so dramatic, Ana can handle herself. It was just like last time, she made out she didn't want it but I know she did" My whole body freezes, I slowly raise my gaze to his and try to decipher what the fuck he just said to me.

"What did you just say? What do you mean it was like last time?" He shakes his hand in front of him as he tries to conjure up a sentence to explain himself, he doesn't look the least bit affected by my tone of voice.

"The last time I tried, she pushed me off acting all put out and pissed off but I knew she wanted it"

He says the last bit with a smirk and I see red. He's been rough with her before? What the fuck? Why didn't Ana tell me? Before I can stop myself I lunge forwards and push him against the book case behind him, this is how I can tell he's under the influence because he doesn't even try to defend himself or push me away.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? What did you do to her?!" I yell in his face but he doesn't even blink.

"She's my girlfriend, if I want sex with her I will fucking get it"

"WAS your girlfriend and what the fuck does that mean? Have you forced yourself on her you piece of shit?" My grip on his collar tightens and I know my face is no doubt bright red, I have to steel myself from knocking his teeth out as the thought of him hurting my Ana floods my mind.

"Did I fuck, I just tried my luck what's wrong with that? She wanted it!" I drop him like the feel of his shirt underneath my skin is burning me and stagger backwards. I cant even believe what I am hearing right now.

"Get the fuck out of my office, if you ever go near her again I will fucking kill you" He pathetically pats his shirt down trying to smooth himself back out but failing miserably. I can't even bare to look at him right now.

"Don't worry I'm going, I did what I came here for" He nods to my jaw with a sarcastic smirk and moves towards the door "And as for staying away from Ana? I can take her away from you just like that" He snaps his fingers in front of him to emphasise his point before swinging my door open and slamming it shut behind him.

I can't breathe, I can't think. I feel my whole body shake with rage and I reach up to loosen my tie from my neck, why do I always wear them damn things so tight.

What the fuck did he mean? He can take her way from me? He can't. No one can take her away from me ever, they will have to come through me first.

I pick up the phone reciever and stab in the speed dial for Taylor.

"Taylor, my office now"

For the first time in my life I am scared of Brody Williams, the man that was my best friend and confidant for nearly six years.

I'm not scared of him physically, what petrifies me the most is the thought of him hurting my precious baby, she's so small and petite and even though I can know she could destroy any woman in a fight she would crumble underneath Brody.

I saw the look on her face last night when he had her against the wall, she froze and didn't know how to defend herself, my mind instantly wanders to what Brody said, what did her do to her last time? Did he hit her or hurt her? My stomach roils and I force myself to sit down before I collapse right here in my office.

"Yes, Sir" Taylor enters my office with Sawyer following behind him.

"Why the fuck aren't you with Anastasia?!" I bark at Sawyer as he closes the door.

"You didn't assign me to her protection for the day Sir" He answers without missing a beat before taking his usual stance, feet apart and hands clasped behind his back.

"From now on you never leave her sight do you understand me, you take her to work and you bring her home. You are now assigned to her security detail"

"How will that coincide with the regulations at Nordstrom Sir?"

"I don't give a fuck, phone head office and tell them straight that you are her CPO. If needs must drop my name into it and inform them that she is my girlfriend and under no circumstances is she left unsupervised even for a minute"

"May I ask what the urgency is for the sudden change in security Sir?" Taylor asks from beside my desk, I know I must sound and look like a crazy bastard right now but I don't care. I can't risk Brody getting to her in any way.

"We have received a new threat, Brody Williams and before you ask yes, it is the same Brody Williams that you are thinking of" They both know that Ana was his girlfriend so it doesn't take a genius to figure out he is bitter and no doubt seeking revenge.

"Do we need to place security on Williams?"

"No, not yet. Just keep eyes and ears open at all times, if you see him anywhere near her you intervene immediately. Understood?" Both men nod at me.

"Where is Miss Steele right now?"

"Her shift finishes in an hour Sir, I am taking her back to Miss Kavanagh's apartment before heading to Escala, she wants to pack an overnight bag" Sawyer responds.

"Okay good. Go to Nordstrom now, even if you have to sit and watch from the car" He nods at me and retreats, he knows as soon as I demand something to do it immediately.

"Sir, are you okay? You seem to have a cut on your lip" Shit I forgot about that

"I'm fine. Taylor, I don't know how serious this threat is but I'm not taking any chances. Not where Anastasia is concerned, I want you and the team to be on full form with this" I know I don't even have to ask this, my security team are exceptional and I have no qualms in their ability to keep my girlfriend safe.

**Anastasia's POV**

If I could just lounge in sweats all day I so would, the clothes that Christian bought me were beautiful and I felt like a million dollars at work but those skirts are so damn tight I could barely move! That's why I had to stop at Kate's before coming back here, I've changed into a pair of yoga pants and a white vest top and I feel so much better, if only I could get away with wearing this for work.

Christian will be home soon thank god, this place is so huge I feel like I'm just rattling around all by myself. I've read a book, I've watched T.V, I've even cleaned the kitchen much to Mrs Jones reluctance. She insisted that she could do it for me but I needed something to occupy myself with, besides I'm more than capable. She will soon learn that I'm not like the lazy bitches he used to associate himself with, I like to pull my weight and I wont be waited for hand on foot like some pampered princess.

Just as I finish flicking through my third magazine I hear the elevator ping signalling that someone is home, I check the time and see that it's just after five. He's home earlier than I thought he would be.

"Hey, you're back early" I call from my spot on the couch as I hear his footsteps behind me.

"I couldn't fucking concentrate anymore, I just wanted to get home to you" He leans down and plants an upside down kiss on my lips "Do you want some wine?"

"Hmm love some, I can get it"

"It's alright baby I've got it" He's already walking over to the refrigerator so I use the opportunity to check his ass out, even in suit pants it looks so taut and muscular. I've never seen a more delicious peach in my life.

"How was your day?" He asks me as he hands me my glass, I scoot to the other end of the couch so he can sit down and plonk my feet straight in his lap "You look really hot in those clothes by the way" I smile at him and sip my wine, at least he approves.

"It was okay, same old shit. Kate was on my ass all day trying to get information out of me about us, she's like a dog with a bone"

"Dog being the operative word" He scoffs and I slap his hand that is resting on top of my knee playfully, he smiles and I notice him wince slightly. That's when I notice it.

"Christian, what happened to your face?!" I lean forward and grab his chin roughly jerking it towards me, his lip is cut and swollen and a bruise is starting to appear on his jaw line.

"It's nothing" He tries to pull his chin away but I keep a firm grip on it so I can inspect the damage.

"Christian, that is not nothing! What happened?"

"I had a little visit from Brody today" He says as he takes a long gulp of his wine.

"Brody? Did he do that?"

"It's not like I wasn't expecting it, I'm surprised he didn't hit me last night" He says so casually like this is okay, well it's fucking not.

"What the fuck does he think he's playing at? I'm gunna go round there" I jump to my feet and scan the room for some shoes but Christian grabs my arm and pulls me back to him.

"You won't go anywhere near him Ana do you hear me?"

"Christian he hit you! He can't get away with it" I try and yank my arm out of his grasp but he only tightens his hold even more.

"No Ana and I mean it! I told you this morning!"

"That was before, Let me go Christian"

"We need to talk Ana, I need to ask you something"

"We can talk later, I need to talk to Brody first"

"For fucks sake Ana no! You're keeping your ass right here and we are having this conversation now!" He all but yells in my face making me jump, he drops his head and rubs his hands up and down arms softly "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to shout, but this is really important"

"What's wrong?" He lifts his head and I see his eyes fill with tears, okay he's scaring me now.

"Come and sit down baby" He tries to lead me to the sofa but before I sit down I head to the freezer and retrieve a bag of frozen peas.

"Here, put these on your lip it will take down the swelling" He presses the bag against his cut for a few seconds before twisting his body in my direction so he can face me.

"Ana, I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me okay?" He sounds so scared, I have never seen him look so terrified and it's doing nothing to calm my nerves.

"Okay, I will I promise" He takes a deep breath

"Has Brody ever hurt you? Before last night was he ever forceful with you?" What? I know I must look confused because Christian reaches over and wraps his hand around mine, abandoning the bag of peas altogether.

"Has he ever hurt you in any way?"

"No, never, I told you Christian last night was a one off he's not a bad person, I'm pissed at him for hitting you though"

"Was it a one off though Ana? Are you sure he hasn't been rough with you before?" My mind instantly flickers back to the moment we had in the kitchen, when he came on to me even though I tried to put up a fight and push him away. I remember how scared I was and how I thought he was actually going to have sex with me against my will. Christian moves closer to me and strokes my cheek gently.

"It's okay baby, you can tell me" Why is he asking me this?

"He didn't do anything, it just got a bit heated for a minute" Even I can hear the crack in my voice as I speak and it certainly doesn't go unnoticed by Christian.

"What did he do Ana?" I shake my head and try to control myself.

"It was the night you all came round for dinner, I was in the kitchen and called him to help me. He just came on a bit strong that was all" I feel Christian tense beside me and I see his eyes turn cold and dark, I hesitate but he nods at me to continue "He lifted me on to the counter and ripped my blouse open, I told him to stop and that I didn't want to but it was like he was switched off and couldn't hear me. I told him to stop" I feel the corners of my eyes prick with tears but I shake my head to rid them of falling.

"What happened next?" His voice is so low and quiet but his tone is menacing, I know that he will be furious at Brody for this but something tells me he already knows something.

"When he wouldn't stop I panicked and kneed him in the balls, it got him off of me. We argued and he asked me why I didn't want to sleep with him, that was it really. That's why the atmosphere was so tense all night" As soon as I stop talking he wraps his arms around me and drags me into his lap, burying his nose in my hair and inhaling deeply.

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"What was the point? And besides he didn't do anything not really" I whisper against his neck, fiddling with the top two buttons of his shirt.

"That doesn't matter, what he did was still wrong. Which is why I have to do this, Baby from now on Sawyer will be your CPO" I jerk my head up and glare at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Ana, Brody was out of control today. I don't trust him and I'm not taking any chances where your safety is concerned, so I've assigned Sawyer to your security detail. Where you go he goes, I'm sorry I know you don't like it but I have to do it" I don't even let him finish his sentence before I'm off his lap and pacing the great room.

"Don't like it? Damn straight I don't like it Christian! How could you decide this without even consulting me first?!"

"Because I had to Ana!" He's standing now too and he roughly pulls his jacket off throwing it on the couch next to him "You didn't see him today, you didn't hear the things he was saying. He told me and I quote, that he could take you away from me just like that"

"He wouldn't of meant it, he's hurt and confused!" He runs his hands through his hair and tugs harshly.

"Why are you defending him?! Ten minutes ago you were all but ready to race round there and kill him for hitting me! He will stop at nothing to break us Ana, or worse he will end up hurting you!"

"He wont hurt me Christian, he loves me"

"Why the fuck do you keep saying that? Like I need anymore reminders that you were with him first!"

"Oh, grow up Christian you sound like a petulant teenager!" This is just ridiculous.

"Oh, I'm sorry for wanting to protect my girlfriend against jealous psychopaths" He's un buttoning his shirt now at a rapid speed, I don't even let my eyes train to the direction of his chest, if I see those perfectly chiselled pecks I know I will lose my resolve.

"It's Brody! Brody, you're fucking best friend!"

"Well not anymore!" He roars at me making me take a step back, I know Christian would never hurt me but it's just a natural reaction "That ship has sailed remember, I stopped being his best friend the minute I fucked his girlfriend" He spits at me, my eyes widen and I cant stop the gasp that leaves my throat.

"So we're back to that are we? Are we always gunna' end up back here? Raking over the fucking details of our betrayal" He places his hands on his hips and drops his head, not knowing what to say to me "Is this what it's gunna' be like with us?"

"Ana, I didn't mean. . ."

"No, I think it's pretty clear what you meant. I'm going to bed, don't even think about following me"

"It's not even six yet, you haven't eaten"

"I don't care" I move towards the bedroom leaving him stood in the middle of the great room looking hurt and desolate.

As I strip my clothes off and change into my boy shorts and tank top I cant help but feel pissed off, first of all he assigns me security that I don't need nor want without telling me, then he has the fucking nerve to blame me for defending Brody.

He seems to forget that this is the guy that we ripped to shreds by falling in love with each other, and I know that's what we did, we fell in love and it was all beyond the realms of our control, but Brody is understandably upset, I'm still furious that Brody hit him though, storming round to his office demanding a fight isn't going to get any of us anywhere. I can only guess Brody admitted to the kitchen incident and knowing Christian he flew off the handle and demand that my security is amped up, I get that he is hurt and angry and is only trying to protect me but the way he went about it was wrong and controlling.

I brush my teeth and curl up on my side of the bed, I cant believe I have gone to bed this early. Now who is acting like the petulant teenager? But I refuse to be treated like a child by my own boyfriend, he has to learn I am not some pathetic little damsel in distress, I can defend myself even if it is from Brody.

* * *

I squint my eyes open as I feel the bed dip behind me, the clock on the night stand reads 11.40pm. After much tossing and turning I must of finally fallen to sleep, I feel his warm breath on the back of my neck and I swear I feel his hand hovering over my arm before it drops to his side.

"Ana? Are you awake?" I hear him whisper in the dark but I don't answer him, I want nothing more than to snuggle up to him but I'm still mad "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so angry with you"

I still refuse to turn over, keeping my body still on my side of the bed, he cant just click his fingers and demand that I be okay with him. I hear him sigh and punch the pillow next to him.

"Well this is just fucking ridiculous, I thought you would of snapped out of it by now" He mutters and once again I refuse to retaliate, I wouldn't dream of giving him the satisfaction, just when I think he has given up and gone to sleep he sits up and flicks his night stand light on making me squint my eyes shut from the harsh glare of the bulb.

"I know you're not asleep so why are you pretending?" I exhale a deep breath.

"Just shut up and go to sleep Christian, I don't want to talk to you"

"Well I want to talk to you so stop being a brat" He reaches for my corner of the duvet and yanks it off of me making me squeal, the cold air hitting my thighs.

"Cut that shit out you dickhead, what the hell is wrong with you!" I pull the covers back over me and lie back down again.

"Me? You're the one acting like a spoilt little bitch who hasn't got her way" I bolt straight upwards and turn to glare at him, he's already sat against the head board in nothing but his boxers, once again I refuse to look at his chest. No doubt he has chosen to wear so little on purpose, he knows the affect he has on me.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me, you're acting like a spoilt little bitch"

"Did you just call me a bitch?"

"Err, yeah I think I did. Problem?"

"You are so fucking childish do you know that?"

"Says she! The one who storms off to bed at six in the evening just because she didn't get her own way" I reach over and sock him one straight in the thigh but he doesn't even flinch, I'm not surprised. His legs are like buns of steel.

"You are such an asshole! I'm going to sleep" I turn back over and pull the duvet right up to my neck "And turn that light off!"

"Turn that light off" He mimics me in a mocking school girl voice but I choose to ignore him, what is he? A CEO or a child? I feel the bed dip once more as he finally lies down and thankfully the light goes off. After several minutes he kicks his leg out and hit's the back of mine with it, I'm guessing it was intentional, when I don't respond he does it again but this time harder.

"Christian! Fucking stop it"

"Stop what?"

"You know what, go to sleep!" When he does it again twice as hard I bring my leg up and boot it backwards so his knee receives the brunt of my hit.

"Arghh, fuck Ana that fucking hurt"

"Good! Leave me alone" He doesn't though, he just continues to tap the back of my leg with his foot until I finally have enough and snap, I reach round and grab his foot in my hand halting it in it's place, he twists it to try and break free from my grasp but I have it in a vice like grip so he can't go anywhere.

Eventually he sits up and reaches for my arms making me squeal, pulling me over so I end up on top of him.

I can only make out the faint outline of his face in the darkness but I can see his eyes are looking straight into mine, my stomach is resting against his groin and when I feel his erection twitch to life beneath me my breathing hitches and my sex clenches sending delicious tingles all the way to my toes.

"Stop it" He whispers against my lips before latching onto them with his own, I don't fight him. I want him and I hate arguing with him so much.

He grabs the back of my head effectively holding me in place so he can angle his tongue deeper into my mouth causing me to groan and rock my hips against the hard shaft that is pressed against me.

"You drive me fucking crazy" He breathes into my mouth as I continue to grind against him, I'm so revved up I can hardly catch my breath, it's like our argument earlier and our petty fighting in bed have combined together and turned me into a wanton sex addict, making me need my fix of him before I combust.

I sit up slightly and fist my hands at the nape of his neck, making out in the darkness heightens my senses more. Because I can't see him all I can rely on is the feel of him, the feel of his hands and his lips and the feel of his breath against my skin. I snake my hand underneath the covers and yank on the hem of his boxers, I blindly try and pull them down to his hips never leaving his lips once, I lean up on my bent knees and pull my own shorts aside before I impale myself on his dick without any preamble.

"Fuck Ana!" Christian sits up straight and I wrap my legs around him, rocking myself back and forth at a frenzied pace. He places his hands on my ass and squeezes tightly, my moans are so loud and breathless that I thank god that we are in the penthouse apartment and that no one can hear me right now.

I lean backwards and brace myself on the flats of my palms as I continue to lift myself up and down, back and forth. I'm so wet that I can barely feel any friction as we move together, this makes me rock even more furiously determined to reach my climax. I can feel the sweat dripping down my face and on to my chest, I frantically pull at the hem of my vest trying to take it off.

"Christian. . . Off. . . Take it offff" He must understand what I mean because he immediately reaches for my shirt and drags it over my head, I have no bra on underneath leaving my breasts bare and on full show, Christian leans forward and wraps his mouth around one nipple sucking and tugging harshly making me cry out. His hips are bucking into me so fast and hard and I know that I am seconds away from coming.

"God, Christian that feels so good"

"Let it go Ana, you're holding off on me. I can feel how turned on you are" He growls against my nipple and with one last bite and thrust of his hips I shatter into what feels like a thousand pieces, I sit straight up and wrap my arms around his neck tightly as I ride out my release, Christian follows suit and we both collapse onto the bed trying to catch our breath.

"Fuck! Fucking fuck Ana!" I lift my head and move it so I can rest it against his chest, I turn on my side and run my fingers through the smattering of hair that I love so much.

"I know, I think that was my way of saying let's not fight anymore!" I breath out making him laugh.

"Well if it was we should fight more often" I press a kiss against his skin and lift my head to look at him.

"Christian about earlier. . ."

"Shhh it's okay baby, I'm sorry. I know I should of spoken to you about the security thing but I just panicked, I freaked out and I thought about what would happen if I ever lost you, I cant lose you Ana" His arms tighten around me and I curl into his side willingly, I know that he was scared, maybe I should have been more understanding and not jumped straight to Brody's defence.

"I'm sorry, I should of taken your feelings into account a bit more, you wont lose me Christian I'm not going anywhere" I push myself up and lean on my elbow looking straight down at him "And I agree to the security detail, if it makes you feel better knowing I am safe then I'll do it"

He releases a breath that he looks like he has been holding since this afternoon and pulls me back down into his arms once again.

"Thank you baby, you don't know how relieved I am to hear that"

"I promise I will try and be a bit more amenable, I'm just not used to taking orders" I feel his chest move against my cheek as he lets out a chuckle.

"That sounds good baby, and I promise to do a little less ordering and a little more asking. I love you so much Anastasia Steele"

"I love you too" My eyes start to feel heavy and I fight the battle to stay awake, enjoying the feel of Christian's skin beneath me and the steady hum of his breathing, he pulls the covers up over me and strokes my hair before kissing my forehead.

"Sleep now beautiful girl"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 - How could they?**

**Brody's POV**

"You're quiet tonight" Evie murmurs as she turns onto her side, trailing her fingers up and down my bare chest.

"Not in the mood for talking" And I'm not. I didn't come here for sweetness and light, I came here for sex and now that I've got it all I want to do is walk my ass out of here, but she has other ideas by the sounds of it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, besides the fact my girlfriend is now fucking my so called best friend. Other than that I'm just peachy" She huffs and rolls onto her back, pulling the sheet up over her tits and stares at the ceiling.

"Why does that bother you so much?"

"What?"

"You know what, why are you so bothered about Ana and Christian? I thought you would be pleased?" I turn my head to look at her in absolute confusion, what the fuck is she on about? Why the hell would I be pleased about that? She looks at me and must see the bewilderment that is written all over my face.

"I just don't get you two, I never have. I don't know what you see in her"

"I see everything in her, I love her" She scoffs and rolls her eyes as she sits up and leans against the head board, pulling the sheet around her tighter.

"Oh please, you love her so much you're round here fucking me. Not for the first time I might add"

"Shut up Evie, you haven't got the first fucking clue about mine and Ana's relationship"

"Or lack of, Come on Brody get real. She doesn't love you she never has, not the way I do" She scoots down and reaches for my cock but I push her hand away and jump out of the bed, picking up my boxers off of the floor and pulling them on.

"Where are you going?"

"Work. I'm not fucking talking to you about this, this is all your fault anyway"

"Mine? How the hell have you worked that one out?" She sits up on her knees and looks at me with wide eyes brimming with tears, a year ago I would of done anything to prevent her from crying but now I don't feel a thing, she caused this. She broke me and Ana.

"You should never have phoned me that night asking to see me, you told Ana that I called you, you purposely went out of your way to destroy my relationship and guess what? You fucking succeeded Evie. Two days ago I punched my best friend, I hurt the one person that was more like a brother to me and now I've got nothing " I pull my sweater over my head and look for my boots, finding them near the bedroom door.

"Don't say that, you've got me" She puts her hand on my arm but I shrug her off, I don't want her pity, I don't want her full stop.

"It's not you I want" I stand and turn to look at her, expecting to see the tears spilling down her face but instead I see nothing but anger and resentment and it's all directed at me.

"You could have fooled me, it wasn't Ana you were wanting ten minutes ago when you were fucking my brains out" She has got a point, I left work and came straight here knowing exactly what I wanted. As soon as she opened the door I had her pinned against the wall, I fucked her every way imaginable whilst trying to get Ana out of my mind. It worked for all of five minutes.

"I shouldn't have came here, I'm sorry. Losing Ana has made me realise how fucking stupid I was to risk what we had. I love her and I want her back, I know that's not what you want to hear but it's true" She kicks her legs off the bed and walks over to me, standing only inches away from my face.

"But I love you, don't you see that I have always loved you?"

"It's too late Evie, you're beautiful and special and you will always have a place in my heart but that is as far as it goes for us anymore" She takes a step closer to me and rests her hands against my chest, I see a single tear fall from her eyes, rolling down her cheek and I gently wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.

"Please Brody, we can start again I know we can. We can forget this past year ever happened and be together, we're meant to be together" She's full on sobbing now and even though I hate to see her cry I cant keep giving her false hope that I want to be with her.

"No, Evie. We can't go back"

"But what about this? We just slept together, you cant pretend that didn't mean something"

"I was using you" Her sobbing seizes as she raises her tear stained face to mine, dropping her hands from my chest and taking a step backwards.

"W…What?"

"I was using you to get Ana out of my head, but I couldn't. She was all I could think about the whole time we were having sex" Harsh, I know. But it's true. She wipes her tears away and takes a deep breath, gone is the emotional Evie that was spilling her heart out to me, she's been replaced with the Evie that I know so well, cold and manipulative, the Evie that would trample over anything and anyone to get what she wants.

"Well newsflash buddy, she doesn't want you, she's with Christian now remember? Maybe she's found a real man who knows what he wants, instead of a little worm like you. One minute you want me then you want her, no wonder she got sick and tired of your pathetic mind games. I'm just surprised she stayed with you for this long"

She spits at me with eyes as cold as ice. I wont deny that didn't hurt because it did. Everything she said is true, I messed with Ana's heart and mind like she meant shit to me and now I've lost her, and I've lost her to my best friend.

"Now get the fuck out of my apartment and don't come back" She spins on her heel and heads to the en suite in the corner of the room, slamming the door behind her.

I don't waste anymore time in staying, I reach for my truck keys off the bedside table and make a bee line for the apartment door.

Everything is such a fucking mess and I don't know what to do with myself. I cant get Ana out of my head no matter how hard I try, every time I go back to that fucking condo she's all I see, I know it's only a matter of time before I sell up and look for somewhere else to live, the place is full of nothing but the memories we made together. The first time I slept with her, the first meal she ever cooked for me, the day that she moved in, our first real fight, and the incredible shower sex that followed soon after. But what really hurts is the not knowing what she is doing right now, no doubt she's with _him. _I bet the fuckers already moved her in, locked her away in that pretentious fucking apartment of his and stopped her from seeing anyone, namely me.

I know I scared him shitless when I went to his office, I told him I could take her away from him without even blinking and I meant it. She's mine, she's always been mine and he can't have her, he doesn't know her like I know her. I've called her phone endless times and left message after message but I haven't had a reply, not that I'm surprised. I know she will still be upset with me after the way I acted the night I caught them, I should never have gotten physical with her like that but I just couldn't stop myself. All I remember was the uncontrollable urge to fuck the living daylights out of her right there and then, to show her that I'm the one that owns her and the only one, not him. Not that bastard. I know I scared her, like the way I scared her when I practically ripped her clothes off her in the kitchen the night of the dinner party, she had the exact same look in her eyes then. A look of utter disgust and as much as it made me hate myself, it made me want her all the more, I wanted her to be scared of me. What kind of a sick fuck does that make me?

Above anything I just miss talking to her, I miss her little voice and the way she scrunches her nose up before she starts to laugh, I miss the feel of her soft and warm body in my arms as she falls asleep, and the way she bites her lip and squints her eyes when she's really concentrating. I just miss everything about her. I want to tell her that I forgive her, I can get over the fact she has slept with Christian and move on, I know it wasn't her fault. He would of lured her in and taken advantage of her, seeing how upset she was over our bust up and made a move on her. Why wouldn't he? She's so beautiful and sexy and she has always had men falling at her feet, I shouldn't of been surprised that my friend wanted a piece of her too.

Without even realising I find myself parked outside Kate's apartment, I see her Mini Cooper parked at the side of the road so I know she's here, I look around and luckily I don't see Kate's car so that must mean she's here alone. I just want to talk to her, I want to apologise for acting like such a fuck tard and beg her to take me back, I know I can be the man that she fell in love with again, hell I still am that man deep down I've just been a complete bastard and betrayed her trust more than once.  
I swing my truck door open and make my way to the front door, even if she screams at me and tells me to leave at least I know I have seen her. I just want to see her.  
I steel myself and knock on the door, but find that it's not even shut properly as it swings open slightly, I take a step inside and the first thing I notice is how quiet it is.

There's no music or television on, strange. Ana always had to have some kind of background noise even if she was just reading, she said she hated the silence and wanted nothing more than to scream from the top of her lungs just so there would be sound.  
As I get closer to the hallway I start to hear heavy breathing, really hard and heavy breathing actually, as I take several more steps forward I freeze when I hear a moan, I know that moan anywhere, I used to hear it enough times as I slammed my dick in to her relentlessly never once letting her catch her breath.  
I peek around the corner and feel the bile instantly rise to my throat, I cover my mouth to prevent the gag of disgust that I can feel bubbling in my throat from coming out.

Right in front of me is the beautiful love of my life, mounted against the wall with her legs wrapped around my best friend as he pounds into her, her head is thrown back and her eyes are closed as he sucks on her neck and moves his lips down to the swell of her breasts.  
He's still in his suit and she is wearing nothing but a tiny tank top and what must have been her boy shorts that I used to love so much from the torn fabric that is strewn across the floor.

"Fuck, yeah right there Christian, harder"

"All damn morning I have been thinking about this baby, I couldn't get a fucking thing done all I could think about was being balls deep inside your pussy"

"Ditching the office for sex? You're such a bad boy"

I feel like I am going to be physically sick, I cant even begin to comprehend what I have just witnessed and I know I cant stay here for another second.  
I leave as quietly as I came and once I am outside I am losing the contents of my stomach into the potted plant near the door, that was without a doubt the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life.  
I feel the hot, scalding tears wetting my face as I start to dry heave, my head starts to spin and I have to brace myself against the wall with my hands to stop myself from passing out.  
How could she? How could _he?! _How could they both do this to me, my mind automatically replays the scene in my head like a fucking slide show, the way he had his hands on her bare ass as he drove into her, the way she was gripping onto his hair for dear life, I know that's what she does when she's really turned on. It's like she cant take anymore and has to grab on to something, anything to prevent herself from exploding right there and then.

I stagger back to my truck and dash the tears away from my eyes, heading straight for Grey Construction.  
There I was thinking we could work it out and try again and there she is fucking that asshole not even giving two shits about me, when did she turn into such a selfish bitch? She was always so sweet and loyal and never would have even dreamt of cheating on me, but now? It's like she has been possessed by this devious whore who wants nothing more than to destroy me and my feelings for her.

I'm parked at the yard in record time, I know I jumped two red lights and nearly hit a cyclist but I don't give a fuck. Why should I give a fuck when no one else does.  
I head straight for the office and see Cassidy standing at the side of Elliot's desk on the phone, she looks up when she hears me enter and before I even know what I'm doing I'm marching over to her. I rip the receiver from her hand and throw it against the wall before grabbing the back of her thighs and literally throwing her onto the desk.  
I grasp her face roughly with my hands and force my tongue into her mouth, within seconds she's responding and yanking my sweater over my head, I shove my hand underneath the fucking belt she calls a skirt and rip her thong right off of her making her moan, I unbuckle my belt and she reaches into my boxers pulling my hard dick out pumping it several times.  
I push her back and lift her thighs as I slam into her with full force, I don't even know if she was wet enough to take a thrust that hard but judging by her groans and the way she pulls her tits from her shirt to play with her nipples, I'm guessing she was more than fine.  
I don't give it a second thought as I begin to fuck her, I fuck away all of the Evie's and all of the Ana's, and most importantly I fuck away all of the deceiving bastards that call themselves friends.

* * *

"Well….That was unexpected" She pants as I pull out of her and tuck myself back into my jeans, she lifts herself up and props herself on her elbows, legs still spread wide open leaving the remnants of my cum dripping down the underside of her thigh.

"I needed it…You were there"

"Jeez, how fucking romantic are you?" She grabs a tissue and begins to clean herself before adjusting her skirt and jumping off the desk, she doesn't even seem phased that she has to last the rest of the day without any underwear on, so something tells me she's done this before. It wouldn't surprise me.

"Don't make out like you're offended Cassidy, you've been wanting that fuck for well over four years. So you got what you wanted" She smirks and steps towards me, wrapping her hand over my now covered dick and squeezes hard making it twitch again.

"Boy did I, and you didn't disappoint one little bit baby" I step away from her and go to grab some contracts from the desk before heading for the door, may as well do something with my day. All I've done so far is fuck brainless bimbo's who drop their knickers at the drop of a hat.

"Where are you going? We haven't had the real fun yet?" I look over my shoulder and see Cassidy sitting at her desk grasping a small bag of white powder in between her thumb and forefinger.

"What's that?" I say as I point to her hand with a frown.

"Don't pretend you don't know Brody, you know what it is"

"I don't actually that's why I was fucking asking" She just laughs and shakes her head

"Cocaine. . ." She says its like the most normal thing in the damn world.

"I didn't know you did that shit?"

"Every now and then, it's just a little pick me up. And by the look of you I think you could do with one" She says as she looks me up and down.

"What does that mean?"

"It means, that even though you just fucked the shit out of me you still look wound up and tense. This will help you relax" I'm in shock actually, I always knew that Cassidy was a party girl, she loves the sex and the drink but I didn't think for a minute that she was into drugs. And why the fuck is she doing it here? Does Elliot know? Does Elliot do it too?

I snap out of my over thinking when I see her come back into my vision, she presses herself up against my chest and lifts the cocaine up, dangling it in front of me like it's a bag of candy.

"Come on, just a line it wont do any harm. It will just relax you, make you forget about Ana" Forget about Ana? The notion of that sounds fucking perfect to me, it was bad enough having her on my mind 24/7 before, but now I have to contend with the images of her fucking Christian in my head and it's driving me crazy.

Before I give it a second thought I rip the bag from her hands and kiss her, I kiss her hard and rough before pulling away and looking into her lust filled eyes.

"Show me how"

**A/N - This is more of a filler chapter before I get the next one out to you guys which will be back to being longer chapters, and this is where shit is gunna start to go down!**

**I am not turning this story into a drug addiction plotline, I'm simply highlighting just how low Brody is and how he is slowly heading on a downward spiral and right now he is not in his right mind.**

**Stay tuned because it's about to get interesting!**

**Please excuse any mistakes, this was barely proof read as I wanted to get this out to you all today! x**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N - I have created a Pinterest page for visuals regarding this story - **

Pinterest**dot**com/fiftyshades12/forbidden lust

**Thank you once again for all your amazing reviews! You're the best!**

**Chapter 18 - Time for a change**

**Anastasia's POV**

"So, I'm thinking I need to start looking for my own place"

"What?!" Kate screeches from her spot in the kitchen, where she is making. . .Well more like _attempting _to make a chicken stir fry. Kate is known for many things but her culinary skills are not one of them, she is the only person I know that can successfully burn pizza to a crisp "What do you mean?! What's wrong with here?"

I kick my legs out in front of me on the couch so they are dangling over the arm rest and pull my hair from my pony tail, running my fingers through it and massaging my scalp slightly.

"It's not that at all, you know I've loved living with you again I just think I need to stand on my own two feet. I think it will do me good to have some breathing space" She takes a sip of her wine and eyes me carefully over the rim of the glass.

"I don't want you to go, it's been so awesome having you here. I never wanted you to leave before" My mind flits back to the moment I told Kate I was moving out the first time, she was shocked at first, then emotional. . ._God was she emotional. _It felt like hours before she eventually stopped crying, and even then she looked like Bambi did when he found out his Mother had just been shot.

I'll admit that I rushed into moving in with Brody, we had only been together for six months when he asked me and I said yes straight away, it's strange now when I think about that time in my life. I remember feeling nothing but apprehension, the day I moved in was like a blur, I was in this brand new apartment with my brand new boyfriend that I was only just starting to get to know, and I hadn't the first clue as to what was normal or how to act. I think in the back of my mind I knew it was too soon too fast but I was that head over heels in love with him none of it mattered to me, I just wanted to be with him.

"I know, we've had so much fun but I need this. Kind of like starting a new chapter in my life" Kate abandons the vegetables she was in the middle of chopping and walks over to me, perching on the edge of the arm rest near my feet.

"What, new boyfriend new apartment kinda' thing?"

"When you put it like that, yeah. This thing with Christian is so new, and so amazing and so god damn exhilarating. But I still feel like my break up with Brody is so fresh, I need my own head space"

"I get it, I do. I just hate the thought of you not being here all the time. I like having you around" She says with a pout and I can't help but laugh, there's that Bambi face again.

"You see me like everyday anyway you big drama queen" I kick her playfully with my left foot as she grins.

"Hey, at least I will get my bathroom back"

"So you will, I admit I am a bit of a bathroom hogger"

"A bit? Ana it took you over an hour to emerge the other day, I thought you had banged your head in the shower and fainted or something" She says with a chuckle, I don't know why it takes me so damn long sometimes? It's not even like I wear a lot of make up. But this hair is just so long and thick blow drying it seems to take forever, and don't even get me started on when I try to flat iron it. I jerk my head up when I see a cloud of smoke forming in the corner of the kitchen.

"Ummm, Kate the noodles" Her head whips around and she shoots up like I have just shoved my heel up her ass.

"Shit, shit, shit!" She lifts the wok and moves it onto the left ring whilst trying to waft the smoke away with a dish cloth "Why am I cooking again? You know I can't cook for shit!" I lift the cushion to my mouth to try and stifle the fit of giggles that are threatening to bubble from my throat, Kate rarely flusters over anything so to see her in such a flap over a stir fry is priceless.

"Yeah, you can laugh Steele. This is no way edible now, let's just order in"

"How did I know that was coming, just make something else" I lean up on my knees to try and survey the damage, the kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it and I'm actually quite pleased that dinner has gone up in smoke, I dread to think just what she was preparing to put into it.

"And risk burning the apartment down! No way, just get the menus and pick something! I mock salute her and amble over to the array of takeaway menus sprawled out on the breakfast bar. Chinese, pizza, sushi, Cantonese. . . I wonder if Kate actually ever cooks for herself or she just relies on these to keep her fed? Looking at her figure you would never peg Kate as a fast food eater but she can pack away the carbs better than the rest of us.

"So, have you told Christian about wanting your own place?" She asks as she scrapes the burnt noodles into the garbage bin.

"No, not yet. I'm planning on telling him when I meet him for dinner tomorrow night, did you know he owns his own club?" I drop in as I lean across the bar, resting my chin on my hand. When he told me would be dining at the Mile High Club, _his club _I nearly fell off my chair.

"No, but it doesn't surprise me, Doesn't he own like half of Seattle?" Kate rips the menu from my other hand and begins to scan it.

"Slight exaggeration Katherine, more like a quarter of it" I smirk at her and laugh. I'm only just starting to grasp just how powerful the Christian Grey actually is. Ironically I had never even heard of him before I met him, he was just Brody's friend who I was too chicken to meet. But now it's like I see him everywhere.

"What do you think he will say?" I shrug and sip my wine, what can he say? It's not like he can stop me. "Ooooh, I bet he offers to buy you an apartment!" She exclaims as she pats her hands together, eyes wide and a grin spread across her face. I narrow my eyes at her.

"Don't be ridiculous, as if I would let him"

"Pfft, as if he would take no for an answer. You wait, this time next week you will be moving in to some sort of penthouse with your own elevator" That would _never _happen. Just because I am in a relationship with someone wealthy, that doesn't mean I am going to live like some pampered little princess.

"Not a chance in hell Kate"

"Oh, there's every chance. I think we should start picking out your colour schemes now" She says whilst she sarcastically smirks over the top of her glass. _Such a wind up_

"Maybe we should, and then we can help move Elliot in here once I'm gone" I reply with mock enthusiasm, watching her with my own smirk as she narrows her eyes and slams her glass down on the bar, a tiny bit of wine spilling over the top.

"Not fucking funny, like that's ever gunna' happen. As if I would want that bastard living with me"

"What's going on with you two now?"

"Nothing, that's precisely the point. After he left here that night it's like he has just disappeared into thin air" Kate filled me in on what happened at Blake's apartment, how she told Elliot she was in love with him and how he said nothing back, she said he just stared at her for the longest time. Even though I know it was the hardest thing she has ever done, I am so proud of her for telling him. And I'm even prouder that she told him he either gets his act together and commits to her or they are over for good. Now I'm just worried he has chosen the latter.

"Kate, Elliot's just as ass. He's not the type to just go confessing his undying love for women is he? Just go with it and it will all work out"

"Oh I've already took matters into my own hands, I went to the yard today"

"You did?"

"Hell yeah I did, I'm not letting that asshole walk all over me and think he can just run away when the going gets tough" She reaches for the wine bottle and refills both our glasses. I sit on the stool next to me and look at her expectantly, I can only imagine how this turned out.

"What happened?"

"I stormed into his office and he was sat at his desk with that slut perched on the edge, she had her disgusting tits shoved in his face. Ughh she is so vile she makes me want to gag every time I see her" She scrunches her face up and I can only guess she is talking about Cassidy.

"What was he doing?"

"Just sat there like a dick head, pretending to read over some contracts but I could see his eyes trained on her horrendous botched boob job" Kate always says Cassidy's breasts are false but we all know that they're real, they're too. . .Bouncy to be false. "He eventually noticed me stood there and when he did he looked like he had just swallowed horse shit. I walked outside and he followed me with his tail in between his legs, and I just had it out with him" She says so dead pan, I guess she has just become numb with her feelings for Elliot so any other emotion is pointless.

"And?" I wind my hand in an 'I'm waiting' motion, willing her to continue.

"He apologised, said he had been an ass blah, blah, blah, tell me something I don't know Grey. I basically told him to fucking grow up and call me once he does, then I walked away. Felt pretty good actually" She grins and cocks her hip to the side.

"Good for you, at least you are standing your ground" She nods but the smile slowly fades from her face.

"What?" She inhales deeply and tilts her head at me, looking at me cautiously.

"I saw Brody as I was leaving" She says softly and I can tell she is going to say something I don't really want to hear, but I know if it was really bad she would have told me before now.

"You did? And. . .Was he okay?"

"No, not at all. Ana he looked like pure shit, like he hadn't slept in weeks not to mention how unkempt he looked. I'm surprised he was actually allowed to work, he looked like he was going to fall asleep any minute, his eyes were so droopy and tired" I hate that he is in such a mess, but I don't know what I am supposed to do, I could go and see him but I know that it wouldn't help matters one iota. Plus, Christian would never let me. I promised I would be more understanding when it comes to his fears over my safety, he told me he has a bad feeling about Brody right now and I have to trust his intuition.

"Did he say anything?"

"That's just it, he didn't say a thing. When I saw him I was convinced that he would approach me straight away and ask me a hundred and one questions about you, but he didn't. He looked right at me and chose to ignore me, strange don't you think?"

"Maybe he just doesn't want to ask about me? He might finally be coming to terms with it"

"Ana, that was _not _a man that is coming to terms with a break up" What does that mean?

"Kate, what do you mean?"

"I don't know, he just looked so…Lifeless. He was leaning against his truck with his head in his hands, when he looked up I barely recognised him" I hate that's she's telling me this, I want to know but I don't. It just puts me in an awful situation, there's nothing I can do for him, I just have to let him heal on his own. Kate must see the debate that I am having with myself because she shifts next to me and wraps her hand around mine.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't tell you to make you feel bad Ana, I just thought you wanted to know"

"I do…Well sort of, I just don't like to think of him like that really" She half smiles at me and rubs my arm softly.

"He will be okay, he just needs time" I return her smile before she thankfully changes the subject back to ordering some food. But I still have Brody in the back of my mind, I think in the morning I will call Dylan and Blake. Usually Christian would be the first person that he would talk to at a time like this, but now that ship has long sailed he needs his other friends around him. I don't want him alone right now.

**Christian's POV**

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" She lifts her head and smiles shyly at me, reaching over the table and stroking her finger nails over my hand slightly. Sending goose bumps straight to my dick. She's wearing an amazing black sheath, one shoulder dress that stops just above her knees. Her hair is pinned back loosely into a bun at the side of her neck, leaving her perfect, creamy skin on show. I so desperately want to run my fingers over her soft flesh, but if I do I know we wont even make it through the first course.

She stayed at Kate's last night so I'm more than dying to get her naked and into my bed, I miss her like crazy when she's not with me, my bed feels so empty and cold and I wonder how I ever lasted this long without her hot, little body nestled safely in my arms as I sleep.

"Thank you, you don't look so shabby yourself" She grins at me flashing her perfect white teeth that make her eyes sparkle even more than they do already. I pick her hand up and press my lips against it, kissing each one of her knuckles never once taking my eyes off of her. I smile when I see her visibly shiver at my touch, I fucking love that I have such an affect on her.

"I've missed you"

"I missed you too" She tilts her head to the side and captures her lip in between her teeth. Fuck if she starts doing that then we _definitely _won't make it through the first course.

"How was work?" I interlace my fingers through hers and stroke her hand gently, relishing in the feel of her warm skin under mine. She's like a balm that instantly soothes and calms me, after spending the day with incompetent fuckers that have their heads shoved so far up their asses, Ana is the perfect distraction.

"So, so. I actually wanted to talk to you about work"

"Oh? What about baby?" She takes a sip of her wine and darts her tongue across her glossy lip.

"Well you know that retail wasn't actually my desired career and its not what I really want to do. I was thinking of maybe sending some resumes to local publishing houses, I think it's time that I focus myself on my career again, get out of the rut I've found myself in" I cant help but smile, I have been waiting for her to tell me this ever since I met her. She's such a bright, intelligent young woman and I know that she would thrive in the publishing world, I always thought she was wasted at Nordstrom, she has too much going for herself to be stuck behind a cashier all day.

"Baby, that sounds great" I cant help but notice relief flicker across her face as I say this, was she nervous about my reaction?

"Really? You think it's a good idea?"

"Of course I do, Publishing is your thing Ana. You worked so hard to get your degree I never wanted you to waste it and stay in a job that you loathe" She leans forward in her chair and tucks a stray curl behind her ear.

"I don't loathe it, I just don't love it. When I started there it was never supposed to be permanent, I just needed a job until I got my groove back so to speak"

"But it never came back?" I stroke my knuckles down the side of her cheek and she leans her face into my touch, shaking her head as she answers my question.

"I was looking after Ray for so long that when I arrived in Seattle I just didn't know what to do with myself, I had prepared myself for a life without my Dad and I suppose I became somewhat depressed" She smiles but it's not sincere, My heart twists at the thought of my girl hurting the way she did, and I realise now that she never really told me what happened to her Dad.

"What was wrong with him, when he was sick?"

"Heart attack, he was fishing with an old marine buddy and he just collapsed in agony. I got the call and rushed back to Montesano straight away, he was in bad shape. The doctors told me to prepare myself for the worst and that's what I did, he was in hospital for over a month, he needed surgery and even when he was home I still feared the worst. I would often creep into his room at night and check he was still breathing, I was so scared that I would lose him" I continue to brush her cheek as she talks, I cant believe she had to go through all of that alone.

"Where was your Mother? Didn't she help you take care of him?" She scoffs and shakes her head.

"She came and stayed with me for a week, we both stayed at Dad's but I could tell she was itching to get back home. In the end she was doing more harm than good so I told her that she didn't have to stay, she gave me the whole concerned Mother act but I could have cared less if I'm honest. I had Dad's sister with me so I wasn't alone, we took care of him together and got him back on his feet. He still has underlying heart problems but I make sure he eats well and is as healthy as he can be" It baffles me that her own Mother didn't want to help her when she was at her lowest, She was a 21 year old woman that had just graduated college and she shouldn't have had to deal with that even if she did have help. She should have been focusing on starting her new life and becoming the editor that she always wanted to be. Although I cant help but admire her strength, the thought of seeing my Mom so ill and nearly at death's door makes me want to throw up, Hell I cant even imagine seeing my Dad like that and I'm a 27 year old man.

"You're so brave baby, you had all of that on your shoulders for so long?" She shrugs like it's no big deal but to me it is.

"I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, my Dad means the world to me" She smiles as she talks about her Dad, I can see just how close they must be and I cant help but feel a bit nervous about that. What would he think of his little girl's new boyfriend? Once he hears of how we came to be I'm sure he will have a few choice words to say to me, not that I can blame him. I did practically steal Ana away from Brody and I'm not sure how strong their relationship even was. If Ray loved Brody I'm pretty sure that he will hate my guts, Fuck even I hate my guts so he is definitely bound to.

"Christian? You okay?" I see Ana click her fingers in front of my face snapping me from my own dismal thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry baby I just drifted off for a minute. You know I will support you in whatever you decide to do don't you?" She smiles that breathtaking smiles and nods, stroking my bottom lip with the pad of her thumb back and forth.

"This is what I want, I've been thinking about it for a few days now"

"Then go for it, have you decided on what publishing houses you're interested in? She picks up a crispy prawn and swirls it in the sweet chilli sauce before rising the dip to her lips, I don't think she's doing it intentionally but the way she is sucking the sauce off the prawn is turning me the fuck on. I can see her tongue dart from in between her lips, and when she swipes a crumb from the corner of her mouth with her finger and sucks it clean off I nearly lose it right there and then.

"I'm considering Adventure books and Sasquatch books among others, they both specialise in non fiction and that's what I love the most"

"Really? I would have put you down as a more fiction kind of girl, romance novels that kind of thing"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, I have seen you read 'To Kill a Mockingbird' and 'Little Women' at the apartment so I just figured" I shrug and feel fucking shy all of a sudden, I don't want her to think I sit there and stare at her but that is basically what I do.

I love the way she curls up into a ball as she reads, the way her eyes light up when she reads something she clearly likes and the way she frowns when she reads the complete opposite. She is so god damn adorable it pains me to physically tear myself away from her.

"They are classics, I can read them over and over again. Along with 'Jane Eyre' and 'Pride and Prejudice' but there's something about non fiction that just reaches out to me, authors that have documented real life events. I love it" Hearing her speak so passionately about this makes my heart swell, it makes me want to leave here and buy her her own company right this minute, but I know that's not what she wants, she wants to work her way from the bottom. She wants to be the assistant that makes the coffee and scans the paper work, she wants to over see the hustle and bustle of what goes into making a book and I love her even more for that.

"Obviously I won't leave Nordstrom until I find somewhere else, I'm not that naïve to think that I will get employed straight away, I know it could take months" The waiter comes over and takes our order and Ana tells me that she will have whatever I am having, I see his beady eyes linger over Ana a little longer than I like, his gaze stops on her legs and the fucker actually steps back and bends slightly so that he can get a better view of what's hidden underneath the table. This prick obviously doesn't value his job or his life for that matter but thankfully Ana is completely oblivious, although she frowns when she notices my eyes narrow on him and I swear a growl actually leaves my throat.

"We'll take the steak twice, and another bottle of Sancerre" I snap bringing the assholes attention back to me, _yeah look at me fucker, not her._

"Certainly, Sir"

"What was that?"

"What was what?" I try to act dumb as I watch him walk away.

"You, looking at that poor boy like you wanted to rip his head off"

"Ana, that _poor boy _was just checking you out like I wasn't even sat here, so yes, I did want to rip his head off" She rolls her eyes at me and lounges back in the chair.

"You're such a Neanderthal, you can't stop men looking at me"

"I can and I will, no one touches what's mine and no one even looks at what's mine. It's as simple as that" She will soon learn.

"Christian, unless you plan on locking me away in a cage you're gunna' have to deal with male attention just like I have to deal with female attention directed at you" Lock her away in a cage? That sounds perfect to me. She leans forward and snakes her hand underneath the table and squeezes my thigh.

"It's not like I want any of them, I only want you" Hearing her say that is like music to my ears.

"Say that again" I growl. Her hand slides further up my leg and her fingers dance around my crotch, my dick twitching to life knowing she's so near yet so far.

"I only want you" I grasp her face with one hand and bring her mouth to mine, moulding our lips together I probe her lips with my tongue and she grants me access straight away. Thankfully we're sat in the far corner of the restaurant with a drape shielding us slightly so I don't have to worry about prying eyes.  
I pull away and smother her nose, cheek and throat with feather light kisses making her breath hitch in her throat and her body go slack.

"Christian…" She pants out and I grin against her neck, I'm breaking her down and I love it, a little more of this and she will be begging me to fuck her right here on this table.

"What baby?" I continue with my journey trailing my lips down lower, until I reach her collarbone and swipe my tongue across it slightly, making her whimper and the sound alone makes me rub my erection over my pants, trying to provide some relief.

"I need to talk to you about something else" I feel her shudder slightly and when I lean back up, her eyes are closed and her head is tilted back, she's so turned on I can smell her arousal from here.

"What is it?" Her eyes blink open and she sits up straight trying to compose herself, reaching for her wine.

"I spoke to Kate about it last night, I'm gunna move out and find my own apartment" Excuse me?

"What? Why? Where will you go?" My voice gets louder with each question

"Don't panic it's not like I'm leaving Seattle, I just want somewhere with my own space" I cant deny the unsettling feeling rising in my stomach, when she wasn't staying with me I liked knowing that she was safe with Kate. If she moves out she will be on her own and the thought of that petrifies me.

"Ana, I'm not sure I like the sound of this" Her eyes widen before they narrow at me and her lips purse slightly.

"What does that mean? Why not?"

"Because it's not safe"

"Oh, please we're not getting into that again are we? I have already agreed to the extra security what more do you want from me?, living at Kate's was only ever supposed to be temporary I need my own space Christian" She whines at me and folds her arms across her chest, she looks like a petulant teenager right now. A hot as fuck petulant teenager.

"Baby, I'm not saying this to be an ass okay. It's just the thought of you being alone without any protection… It scares me" My voice lowers and I cast my eyes downwards, I feel like such a fucking wuss right now but that's the affect that she has on me, she brings out all of my worst fears and they all revolve around her getting hurt, or me losing her. God, I can't even comprehend the thought of losing her. I feel a soft, warm hand enclose around my own as I look into her beautiful blue irises, gazing at me with nothing but love.

"Christian, I never want you to feel like this. And I have already thought this through, I will look for an apartment closer to you and I will allow Sawyer to be wherever he needs to be at all times, Hell he can even live with me if its makes you feel better" I tense at that last part, no way in hell would I allow another man to live with my girlfriend even if it is her security. If she does find her own apartment he will be stationed outside at all times, I will have to employ another CPO so they can alternate shifts, but under no circumstances will she be left unsupervised, not until I get this situation with Brody under control.

I haven't told Ana that I am now having him watched, at first when Taylor asked if I wanted security on him I refused, but the uneasy feeling regarding his out of control behaviour is driving me crazy, I couldn't sleep a wink last night from thinking about it, it didn't help matters that Ana wasn't with me but the thought of him outside Kate's apartment watching her sent me into a tail spin.

Lewis is on him and he reported back to me that he was spotted leaving Evie's apartment two days ago, so I know that he is fucking her. After all that has happened he has gone back to that bitch and I honestly want to punch him for it, she may just be a rebound fuck but something in the pit of my stomach is telling me that he has been involved with her all along, I could never tell Ana that. She already has her suspicions over Brody's infidelity so I don't need to fuel them further.

But what really, _really _disturbs me to my very core is that after he left there he headed straight for Kate's apartment.

He pulled up outside and walked straight through her front door, when Lewis told me that, I threw a chair across my office, screaming at him and Sawyer as to why they didn't stop him and head straight to Anastasia, ready to fire them both right there and then.  
When Sawyer told me the reason they didn't intervene was because I was already in the apartment with her I froze. I left the office mid day because I couldn't get Ana out of my mind, all I could think about was being inside her, hearing those delectable little moans as I slid into her, kissing those soft plump lips until I left them sore and swollen, and that wasn't the only thing that I wanted to leave sore.

As soon as she answered the door and I saw her in a tiny top and those shorts that make her ass look so damn perfect, I picked her up and attacked her, devouring her mouth with my own as I carried her through the apartment. My intentions were to take her to the bedroom but I couldn't resist any longer and ended up taking her against the wall in the hall way.

Lewis said Brody left not even five minutes later and threw up outside, my stomach dropped as I put two and two together. He must have seen us fucking, it kills me to think about him witnessing us together and I can only imagine how disgusted he must have been, but my anger over rid my sympathy as the thought of what could have happened if I hadn't been there crept into my mind, he could have hurt her.

This is exactly why I assigned Sawyer to Ana's protection, I _knew _that he would attempt to contact her and I will be fucking damned if he gets another opportunity.  
I'm brought back to the now as the dickhead waiter arrives at the table with our food, thankfully this time he doesn't check my girlfriend out.

"I promise that I won't evade or disrespect my security, I know what this means to you Christian and I know that you only want to keep me safe" She is so perfect, ever since our argument when I initially told her about her impending CPO she has been nothing but amenable.

"I know baby, you are doing nothing wrong and I'm sorry that I'm being such a dick over this. I just want to take care of you" She places her palm against my cheek and strokes her thumb in small, soft circles. Her touch is so soft and warm I cant help but lean into her.

"I know you do and I love you for it, sure I was pissed at first but I get it now I really do" I kiss her palm and hold my hand over the top hers "So, will you help me?"

"Help you?"

"To find a place, after all I do need the opinion of my over protective, gorgeous, sexy boyfriend don't I?" She says with a naughty grin and I cant help but smile, just hearing her call me her boyfriend makes my heart skip a beat.

"Of course I will help you baby, you don't even need to ask. Now eat before it gets cold"

**Anastasia's POV**

"Christian, are you okay? You've been quiet ever since we left the restaurant" We're in the back of the SUV with Taylor driving heading back to Escala, he has been brooding the whole way home and I'm beginning to think I have done something wrong.  
He turns his head and gazes at me, I feel relief wash over me when he reaches over and takes my hand in his, but there is still something off with him.

"I'm fine baby, I just want to get you home" It's not that at all, those are not the words of a horny man those are the words of a worried man.

"Are you sure that's it?" His lips are pressed into a firm line and for a second he looks pissed at me but he doesn't release my hand, if anything his hold on me tightens even more. Taylor pulls up outside the apartment and tells us he will park the car whilst we head up.  
Christian moves round to my door and holds his hand out for me so I can climb out, the ride in the elevator is tense to say the least, he's still holding my hand but it's so robotic, usually when he touches me it's because he needs to be close to me, but right now it feels like he is doing it because he _needs _to keep me in line.

Once we're in the penthouse he releases me and walks over to the drink's cabinet, pouring two tumblers of whiskey and handing me one, I don't usually drink this stuff but right now I feel like I need it.  
I sit on the couch and bend down to slip my shoes off but Christian stops me and takes them off for me, he rubs my feet with deft fingers after removing each shoe and lifts my left foot up, planting a soft kiss on my ankle.

"What's wrong Christian, and don't tell me nothing because I know something is up" He sighs and sits next to me on the couch, leaning back and resting one arm across the back of it.

"I'm just apprehensive about you moving out" This again?

"I thought you were okay with it"

"I thought I was, but throughout dinner doubts kept creeping into my mind. Your safety is paramount to me Anastasia. I can't risk you being in any danger whatsoever and right now I feel like you are" I cant help but feel pissed at him, he said he was okay with this and now he's changed his mind? "Baby don't look at me like that, I have good reason to be worried"

"Have you? Because you don't tell me anything, you give me all of this shit about how I am in danger but you haven't actually told me what I am in danger from" I stand and glare down at him.

"You know what from Anastasia" I laugh sarcastically and fist my hip as I cock it to the side.

"Oh yeah, Brody. Funny that because I haven't heard from him in like two days, his phone calls and texts have stopped and I haven't even seen him since the night he found out about us" He rubs his temple and closes his eyes, I know I am raising my voice but I have tried to be understanding about this, whereas now I'm not even sure what the hell he is so worried about.

"He came to your apartment Ana, well Kate's apartment" My eyes widen at him as he looks up at me.

"What? When?"

"There's a reason why you haven't heard from him in two days Ana, he came to see you the day I was there at lunchtime" I know my face is radiating nothing but confusion, I don't understand what he means. He must catch on to my confusion perplexity because he answers my unspoken question.

"The day I came to see you, when we had sex…In the hall way" Brody was there then? "He came into the apartment Ana" And then it all pieces together like a disturbing puzzle._ Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!_

"He saw us?!" I screech as Christian nods "Oh my god Christian, he saw us having sex!" I pace the great room frantically and soon feel Christian hot on my tail. That is so wrong and disgusting, I never wanted to be caught in the act by anyone but especially by my ex boyfriend!

"Baby, I know that's weird but that's not even the point" How can that not be the point? He spins me around and places his hands on my shoulders.

"The point is that he went to see you, Ana he just walked straight in. Okay that was my fault for not shutting the door properly but he still came to see you, he could have attacked you or anything" He suddenly crushes me to his chest and holds me tight, his lips press into the top of my head roughly as he rubs the nape of my neck as If he is trying to soothe me, but I think he is actually trying to soothe himself.

"He has tried it once Ana, I cant risk him trying again"

"Wait a minute" I break away from his grasp and look up at him "How did you know that he came to see me?" He face morphs from fear to guilt almost instantly and he closes his eyes, running his hand through his hair.

"I'm having him followed, I had to"

"You're having him followed? Who by?"

"That doesn't matter, he's just someone on Taylor's team. If I didn't have him followed I never would have known that's the point I am trying to make" Even though he is completely invading Brody's privacy I am pretty relieved that someone knows if he is within distance of me, it's different if I want to approach him I would be prepared, but Brody is known for his unsettling mood swings.

"Christian, I refuse to let this dictate my life. I'm not going to let Brody Williams rule where I go, or where I live for that matter" He nods at me and I think he is starting to understand, this isn't any fun for either of us, but it's just the price we have to pay to be together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"What if we could meet in the middle?" He asks softly and looks deep into my eyes.

"What do you mean?" He takes a step towards me and places one hand against my hip, pulling me flush against him and holds my cheek with his other hand.

"What if you move in here, with me?" Move in the what now? Did he just say what I think he just said?

"Did you just ask me to move in with you?" He nods and presses his lips against mine softly.

"Christian, I think it's too soon for that don't you?"

"No" He answers without missing a beat "I love you Ana and I want you with me all of the time, this isn't just about Brody and the security, I have actually been thinking about this for a few days now" I cant believe he is asking me this, we have been together for all of five minutes. Okay granted I have never felt this way before and I can't imagine my life without him, the thought of living with him actually fills me with nothing but happiness, but I have rushed into this decision once before and I refuse to do it again, Christian means too much to me to run the risk of losing him.  
I lean my forehead against his and kiss the tip of his nose softly.

"Baby, I love you too. But it's too soon for us to take this step, we're still getting to know each other" His arms tighten around my waist with our foreheads still touching "And I'm not saying never, I don't know if you know it yet but I'm in this for the long run" I see his lips curl into a smile and relief floods me, I never want him to think for a second that I am pulling away from him because it's the complete opposite, I'm falling for him more and more each day.

"So your not saying no?" He looks and sounds so small right now, like a little boy who has just been reprimanded by his Mother.

"No baby, I'm not saying no. Just not right now" I lean on my tip toes and kiss him, without my heels on I'm a great deal shorter than him so I have to fling my arms around his neck to keep my balance, I tease his tongue with my own and start the all familiar dance that makes my insides clench tight.

"I've had enough of talking about exes and apartments for one night, take me to bed" I whisper against his lips and without hesitating he bends down and grasps the backs of my thighs so I can wrap my legs around him. I hold onto his neck as he carries me through the apartment to the bedroom.

**Christian's POV**

"Fuck, don't stop Christian. I'm so close" She's clenching me so fucking tight right now, We're in my bed and I'm on top of her in between her legs, I bend down to suck her perfect and erect nipple which causes her back to arch, and effectively push her breast into my face even more. Fuck she looks so beautiful when she's spread out like this, naked and bared to me for me to do as I please.

"You want to come don't you baby, do you want to come?" She nods her head and mewls as that's the only sound she can form right now, she has one hand on my ass and the other one is grasping the pillow above her, trying to find some leverage as I drive in to her over and over again.

"Well you can't" I whisper against her neck as I bite down hard, my thrusting slows until they are nothing but gentle strokes, she locks her feet around the lower of my back trying to push me in deeper but I halt my movements altogether.

"Christian, what the fuck are you doing? Move…Please" I grasp her hands in mine and hold them at the side of her head, leaning myself up on my elbows I look down at her and my heart almost stops. Her long tresses of hair are splayed out across the pillow and her face is flushed, her lips are red and swollen and her eyes are the bluest I think I have ever seen them. _Fuck she's so gorgeous_.

"You are so beautiful baby, do you know how beautiful you are?" She shakes her head as she rocks her hips up to meet my pelvis, trying to gain some much needed friction.

"Well you are, you mean everything to me" I choke out as I look down at her, the rocking of her hips stop as she gazes into my eyes, I feel so pent up with emotion right now. It's like I'm seeing her for the first time all over again, having her in my bed, in my apartment, spread out in front of me as I make love to her. I feel like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.  
She reaches up and strokes my face, brushing her thumb across my bottom lip before she pushes her hand through my hair, scratching my scalp slightly.

"I love you" She whispers and my heart soars. This still feels like a dream and that I will wake up at any given minute and she won't be here, never has a woman made me feel this way in my entire life, Anastasia Steele has turned my whole world upside down and I never want to lose her, I cant lose her. She's mine.

"You belong to me Ana" I pull out all the way to the tip and thrust back into her sharply making her cry out, I do it again but this time I capture her cry with my mouth, kissing her with such reverence because that's what I feel for her. Absolute devotion. "Say it baby, who do you belong to?"

"You, I belong to you Christian. Please….Faster"

"No baby, I want this slow, I need to feel you" I continue to push into her at an unhurried pace, with measured and gentle strokes. Gradually pushing us higher until we're both hanging on the edge.

I feel her nails claw into my shoulder and scrape down all the way to my elbows, I feel the first spurt of my release shoot inside her as I bury my face into her neck, allowing the spasms to consume my body.  
It feels like volcanic lava is coursing through me and when I hear the primal scream that leaves Ana's throat I fist my hand around the sheet next to me and continue to ride out this incredible and intense orgasm, her muscles clench around me tighter than they ever have done before, milking me for all that I've got.  
After what feels like forever our bodies start to return to normal, the shaking and shuddering seizes and our breathing calms back down. I feel Ana kiss my shoulder lazily and I slowly rear back to look at her.

She smiles at me as I push back the sweat drenched locks away from her face, if she was flushed before she is even more so now.  
I kiss her softly, tasting the beads of perspiration that coat her top lip before I gently pull out of her and roll on to my side, taking her with me and tucking her underneath my arm. She traces circles on my chest with her fingers as she tries to get her breathing under control, _That _was something else fucking entirely.

The serene moment is broken by my blackberry buzzing incessantly on the night stand next to me, I groan and lift up to retrieve it without releasing Ana.

"Grey" I snap, pissed at whoever has interrupted my alone time with my girl.

"Sir, it's Lewis. There have been some developments regarding Mr Williams that I need to discuss with you" That gets my attention, I see Ana's head move in the corner of my eye so that she can look at me but I keep my expression blank.

"What kind of developments?"

"It would be better to explain in person if that's possible Sir?"

"My office in ten minutes" I say before I hang up.

"Problem?" Ana asks as I sit up.

"Nothing for you to worry about baby, just something I need to take care of" I stroke her cheek before I climb out of bed and search for my boxers, Ana sits up and leans against the head board, the sheet is only just covering her breasts and she looks so god damn desirable right now, if I didn't have to deal with this shit right now I would be fucking her again.

"Is there anything I can do?" I pull my jeans up and shrug one of my workout vests on, she eyes me up and down salaciously and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip as her eyes land on my top half, I know this vest clings to me and she can see every one of my muscles right now, I smirk when I see her lips part knowing she is no doubt getting wet again. _Insatiable little minx_

"Don't look at me like that baby otherwise I wont be able to get a fucking thing done, I'll be as quick as I can okay? I'll only be in my study" I cup her head and kiss her, she reaches up and tries to pull me to her as she forces her tongue into my mouth, Fuck she can't get enough tonight!

"Ana…Stop it" I manage to pry her off my face and laugh when I see her pout, so cute "Stay here and get some sleep okay" I look at the alarm and see that it reads 11.45 pm. Fuck we were going at it for well over an hour.

I make my way to my study and when I get there I find Taylor, Sawyer and Lewis all seated in front of my desk, they stand as I enter and I nod at them to sit back down.

"So what is it? What's happened?" I move round the desk and sit in my chair. Lewis is the first to speak.

"I have just followed William's to and from a young ladies apartment Sir, we looked into the address and found out that it is registered to a Miss Cassidy Phillips. He was in there for at least two hours and left looking less than put together, we ran an extensive background check on the female and discovered that she is your brother's assistant at Grey Construction" Cassidy? Why the fuck was Brody at Cassidy's?

"I know her. What do you mean he left looking less than put together?"

"He was stumbling, uncoordinated and seemed to be under the influence, he almost fell into the side of the road in front of an oncoming car before reaching his truck and climbing inside"

"He was drunk? You didn't let him fucking drink and drive did you?" I ask as I see Lewis look at Sawyer.

"Well, fucking spit it out!"

"I approached him Sir and pulled him out of his truck, he was definitely intoxicated as he didn't even try to fight me. I pressed him against the vehicle to prevent him from falling over and so he could get some fresh air" He pauses and I can tell that he is trying to find the right words, I am really starting to lose my fucking patience "The first thing I noticed were his eyes, they were glassy and his pupils were dilated, He came across as extremely panicked and paranoid, once he had regained himself slightly he started to fight back, he was very irritable when I wouldn't release him"

"What are you trying to fucking say Lewis?" I snap having had enough.

"He wasn't drunk Sir, he was high" What the fuck did he just say to me? "I recognised the symptoms almost straight away, he wasn't under the influence of alcohol he was under the influence of drugs. And if I'm not mistaken it was more than likely cocaine" I feel numb, I cant believe that he would touch that fucking shit, he has always been so into his health and fitness and he wouldn't dream of getting involved with anything like this. Plus I didn't think he was a complete and utter brainless idiot.

"I called Sawyer for assistance and when he arrived he went up to Miss Phillips apartment" I look to Sawyer and silently tell him to start talking.

"The door was open when I arrived, I found her face down in the bed naked, covered with a sheet and passed out, I checked to see she was still breathing and she was, she was just ridiculously high. I searched her apartment and came across the stash in the living area" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out three bags of cocaine throwing them onto the desk. I feel physically sick, not only is he obviously fucking that whore but she has dragged him into drugs.

I drop my head in my hands and try and figure out a fucking plan, I cant leave him to fall into a pit of addiction just so he can lose everything, his job, his home his life. It's all on the line now.

"What happened next?"

"I drove William's home and put him to bed, he will sleep for a considerable amount of time but other than that he was fine, he hadn't overdosed. Sawyer drove his truck back and we left him, he wont remember anything in the morning he will just think he managed to get home safely" I am disgusted with his behaviour, not only was he fucking high but he was going to drive home?! He could have killed himself along with other innocent people.

"I will contact my brother in the morning and inform him of Miss Phillip's little habit. As for Mr Williams, keep an extremely close eye on him, where he goes who he sees. This could have just been a one off" I say this but I don't feel the conviction of my own words, Brody is low right now. I know he has been fucking Evie but now Cassidy? Random sex and drugs are becoming his lifestyle and it kills me to admit it.

"Also, Taylor run extensive background checks on all the publishing companies in Seattle, I want detailed reports on all the staff immediately"

"All the companies Sir?" I know this will take him hours, we're talking about hundreds of members of staff here but I don't care, if Ana does get a job with one of them and no doubt she will I want to know who she will be working with.

"Yes all of them, I don't want any stones left unturned understood?" He nods at me and all three men stand.

"Anything else Sir?"

"No you may all retire for the night"

Fuck what do I do? I have to tell Elliot about Cassidy that's for sure, he has to know that he has a drugged up slut working for him, not exactly assistant material is she. Not that she ever fucking was in the first place.  
Do I tell him about Brody? Elliot loves Brody and they are just as close as we are…Were. But would he stand by him if I tell him he is into drugs? Something tells me that he would kick him to the curb after he fires his ass, Elliot may be extremely laid back but when it comes to his employers he is as hot as shit, he doesn't stand for any fuck ups and he is really anti drug, probably more so than me.  
What I do know is that I have to get him help, I refuse to let him kill himself over this. And something tells me that there is more to this than just losing Ana.

* * *

She's curled up into a ball and sound asleep when I walk back into the bedroom, I sit on the edge of the bed next to her and stroke her cheek gently. She's so soft and precious, It's my job to protect her now and I will do anything to keep her safe.  
I was scared shitless about Brody hurting her and I'm even more petrified now I know his state of mind, or lack of.

Do I tell her what I know? She will be so devastated that this is the path he has chosen to go down and knowing my sweet Ana she will want to help him, call it disgusting and selfish of me but I don't want her anywhere near him.

I've seen the affect that drugs has on people and I don't want her exposed to that kind of world, it's a vile and sick environment to surround yourself with and I don't want that for Ana.  
She is so pure and special, sure enough she is a little fire ball and she can throw one hell of a punch and not to mention how wild she is in bed. But underneath that she is so fragile.

I have to keep her out of this god awful mess, she needs to focus on leaving Nordstrom and finding the job that she has always dreamt of, and I will sort this shit out once and for all.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N - Hey guys! Thank you again for all of you're amazing reviews.**

**Please excuse any mistakes, once again this was barely proof read as I had no time and wanted to get this out to you as it's been a couple of days. Enjoy this next one!**

**Chapter 19 - I love him**

**Elliot's POV**

I pull into the yard at Grey Construction and park my truck, Benson and Marcus both stop me to discuss the refurb project at _Scarlett's _in Redmond but I couldn't give a fuck about that right now. I brush them off and head straight to my office hoping that I will find that little slut there, I'm not disappointed. She's sat at her desk twiddling the ends of her hair whilst focusing on the laptop screen in front of her, _Ha, that's a fucking joke! _Cassidy has only focused on one thing since she started here and that was fucking every single member of my staff, Okay, I'll admit that I have dipped my dick there once or twice but never a-fucking-gain will I make the same mistake.

Christian phoned me this morning to inform me in on the information regarding my PA's '_extra_ _curricular activities' _and I almost choked on my bacon, never once did I think that she was into cocaine, she has always been a wild fireball and I know that she parties every night of the fucking week but as long as she turned up for work on time and was on top of her game I didn't give a shit.

But that was before, before she dragged Brody into her filthy, disgusting habit. When my brother told me that his goons had found Brody at Cassidy's apartment high as a fucking kite I damn near stopped breathing, I didn't even ask as to why he had security on Brody in the first place but I don't care.  
All I could think about was the fact that my best friend and employee had been taken advantage of while he was at his lowest, she sickens me to my very core and if I wasn't such a gentleman I would be throwing her out of this office by her fucking hair.

I slam the door shut making her jump and stalk over to where she is sitting, bracing my hands against the desk I lean forward and stop when I am mere inches from her face, she smirks and her lips part in desire.  
She probably thinks that I am here to fuck her, I would often come to find her during the day and bend her over her desk but the thought of that now makes me want to throw my guts up.

"I. Want. You. To. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Office" I spit through gritted teeth and watch on as her face morphs into sheer confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, pack your shit up and get the fuck out. You're fired" Her eyes widen in shock but she quickly recovers herself and narrows her gaze at me, trying to pretend that she is tough and a force to be reckoned with. I couldn't give a shit.

"Fired? What the fuck are you on about, you can't fire me" She squares her shoulders and sits up straight in her chair, I notice she's pushing her tits out again like she always does when she tries to get what she wants but I'm past that shit now. Looking at her I feel nothing but hate and disgust.

"I think you'll find I just did, I don't want drugged up whores working for _my_ company" She looks like I have just slapped her in the face, and to be quite honest that is exactly what I want to do "I know all about your lifestyle Cassidy, you disgust me and I want you out of here immediately"

She blinks several time and smoothes her hair nervously before standing and glaring at me dead in the eye.

"I haven't got a clue what you are even talking about, how dare you even accuse me of such a thing" _Here we go._

"Don't try to pretend like you're little miss fucking innocent, I know all about your cocaine habit, I know that you take a hit every night of the week and I _know _that you've been doing that shit right here in my fucking office" I wasn't actually one hundred percent sure that she was taking drugs here but judging from the look on her face I know that I have hit the nail on the head.

"I…I don't know where you've heard that but you're wrong" She couldn't look more guilty if she tried, I can practically see the beads of sweat forming on her forehead and when she wipes her palms over her pants I know she has a case of the clammy hands.

"Cut the bull shit Cassidy, face it you've been caught out. You are no longer fit to work here so I want you out. Now" She just stands stock still, not moving an inch. "If you don't leave I'll call the police and have you forcibly removed. When her feet still remain planted to the ground I shake my head and reach for the phone on the desk, I don't even get the receiver to my ear before she's in front of me and tugging at my arm to put the phone back down, I look at her and her eyes are filled to the brim with tears, never once in the past four years have I even seen Cassidy close to crying but I'm not fooled, I know she's only trying to cover her back so I don't fire her but I am so fucking done with her lies and deceit.

"Please Elliot, I made a mistake, a stupid mistake and it will never happen again" She has both hands on my chest and I feel my blood start to boil, having her hands on me sickens me now I know that she has been touching that toxic poison, not to mention the fact that she has fucked my best friend also.  
I'm not jealous one bit, I couldn't give a shit if she fucks the entire population of Washington, but I don't share the same pool as my friends. Simple.

"A mistake?" I ask deceptively soft as she nods her head frantically, dashing a tear away that is rolling down her cheek. "Do you want to know what I think?" She raises her head and looks at me, not really knowing what I'm going to say but nodding once away. I place my hands on either side of her face and jerk her head higher so she can see nothing but me.

"I think you're lying, I think that you have been doing this shit all along. How many times a week Cassidy huh? Once? Twice? Every night?" She shakes her head and tries to break free from my grasp but I just tighten my grip further "You're an addict, face it. And I don't want addicts working for me. So this is the last time I am going to say this, get the fuck out of my office" I release my hands roughly slightly pushing her over as she whimpers, I hear her sobbing as I turn around but I haven't got one ounce of sympathy for her. She chose this life, now she has to live it.

"Elliot please! I need this job, you can't just throw me out!"

"You should have thought about that before you got into this, you know I have a zero tolerance policy on drug abuse, you're contract clearly states that in black and white. Now I've got nothing left to say to you so just leave" I'm moments away from picking her ass up and throwing her out.

"What about Brody? You gunna' fire him too?" I slowly turn around and find that she has stopped crying and her face is now just a red and blotchy mess, her demeanour has changed completely and she has now narrowed her gaze.

"Brody is none of your concern, stay the fuck away from him" Her mouth curls up into a smirk and her eyes are dancing with malice.

"But will he be able to stay away from me? That's the question, now that I have shown him something that he likes, something that makes him happy, he will only want to come back for more" I could kill her, I could actually shake this vindictive bitch until there is no life left in her pathetic body.

"Is that how you get your kicks? Reeling in vulnerable people and taking advantage of them?" Her smirk widens as she perches on the end of the desk like she fucking owns it, folding her arms across her chest and crossing her ankles.

"I was helping him, he needed a distraction"

"A distraction? A distraction is taking him to a bar and letting him get shit faced, not fucking him and then handing him a bag of fucking cocaine!" She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Where was the crying mess from only two minutes ago?

"Don't be so melodramatic Elliot, I think you will find _he_ was the one that fucked _me_, I never would have even gone near him, and as for the cocaine. Everyone does it." Is that fucking right? "He needed to forget about Ana, poor bastard was devastated over losing her to your brother, so if there is anyone that you need to be blaming for this, it's him"

"Leave my brother out of this, everyone goes through break ups it doesn't mean you get addicted to fucking cocaine!" I yell as I take two steps forward, she is seriously pissing me off.

"Why so edgy Elliot?" She pushes herself off the desk and walks over to me and strokes her hands up and down my chest "You're so tense, let me help you" She whispers before she presses her lips against mine but I push her away instantly, she stumbles but that doesn't deter her. She reaches for my hand and snakes it inside her pants, she's really wet and a week ago, fuck even a day ago I would be fucking her so hard right now, but at this moment in time my dick hasn't even twitched.

I pull my hand away and step back, relishing in the horrified look on her face, I have never turned her down once.

"Don't ever touch me again, get out of my office and listen to me when I say stay the fuck away from Brody. If you go anywhere near him I will call the cops on your ass so fast you won't know what hit you, now fuck off" I grab for the door knob and pull it open, gesturing for her to leave. She scoffs underneath her breath and finally packs her shit to leave, once she has her purse and is at the door, she gives me one last dirty look before stomping off like a five year old who has just been refused ice cream. Good fucking riddance.

"Fuck," I slump over my desk and lay my head in my hands, contemplating my next move. I should fire Brody, if anything I should be firing him more so over Cassidy, he is the one that is operating machinery all day and if he isn't switched on some one could get hurt or even worse, killed.

One of my guys approached me only yesterday and asked if he was alright, when I asked why, he told me that Brody was near enough falling asleep on the job, he was doing the measures wrong and kept fucking up repeatedly with the plans. I assign Brody to project manager on near enough every job, he has always been one of the best on my team, I shrugged it off and put it down to him having a bad day.

This is what pisses me off, he has been a construction worker ever since he left college and he's fucking brilliant at it too, why the fuck is he throwing his career away for a skank who lets him snort cocaine off her tits?

I should fire him. But I can't, despite his stupidity he is my friend and he's been through a lot lately. I love my brother and would walk to the end of the earth for him but he has really done a number on Brody, he is now in a relationship with his ex girlfriend and that has seriously done something to him, I know that he saw Christian as a brother and even though he has known Dylan and Blake longer, hell he has even known me longer, he would still turn to Christian for anything.  
But after all that is said and done, it still doesn't excuse his behaviour. I just know I need to help him before it's too late.

I phone Brody's cell and tell him I want to see him. Ten minutes later he walks through the door and I am appalled as I take in his appearance.  
He has always been a good looking bastard and a bit vain with it too, he has these ripped arms and his abs are fucking impressive but right now I can't believe how shit he looks, he has dark circles under his eyes and his face is pale and clammy. His hair is a mess and he looks like he is running a fever, which I know he is not.

"Sit down" I growl harsher than I wanted to but looking at him right now pisses me off, I still cant believe that he is doing this to himself.

He rubs his hands up and down his pants several times much like Cassidy was doing earlier before he sits down.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask as he scrubs his hand over his face, I notice he is rubbing the spot under his nose more so than any other area and seeing him do that alone infuriates me.

"What, what do you mean?" He even sounds like shit.

"Devon told me you weren't too good yesterday?" He starts bouncing his leg and if I didn't know that he was agitated as a side affect from the cocaine I would think someone had put itching powder down his boxers from his consistent shifting.

"No, I'm fine. Nothing wrong with me"

"You sure?" I just want him to say it. _Talk to me Brody._

"Nothings wrong, just not sleeping great right now" He hasn't looked me in the eye once yet, because I know the guilt is eating away at him, he knows he is coming to work high and risking his safety and everyone else's around him. I still don't have a fucking clue what to do here, I thought once I saw him it would come to me instantly but it doesn't.

"How are you doing? You know with everything?" He raises his swollen and puffy eyes to mine.

"What, Ana?" I nod.

"Fucking peachy, but she can do what she wants I'm past caring. If she wants him she can have him" Two days ago I would have been relieved to hear him say that, but now I know how he's 'dealing' with the break up it fills me with nothing but dread, the more he hides away and refuses to let people in the further he will sink.

"Go home for the rest of the day, we don't need you"

"What about Redmond?"

"It's covered, I'm heading down there. Go home and get some sleep" I cant even look at him, I feel nothing but disgust and I know if I look at him I will lose my shit.

"Are you sure?" _Yes, just fuck off!_

"Hundred percent, I'll call you later" I hear him stand to his feet after a minute or so and when I lift my head he's walking out the door.

I could cry right now, seeing him look so weak and lifeless and just plain pathetic sickens me to my core. I press the speed dial for Christian and after two rings he answers.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah, it's me. I fired Cassidy"

"Fucking good, what about Brody?"

"I haven't fired him if that's what you're asking"

"I don't want you to fucking fire him Elliot, I mean have you seen him?"

"I've just sent him home, fuck Christian you should have seen him. I've never seen a person look so shit. I don't know what to do, what the hell do I do?" He doesn't reply for several seconds and I know he is trying to think of what to say.

"He needs help, serious help. I have already contacted several rehab centres, I can get him in there as soon as tomorrow with his cooperation-"

"Wait, what? Rehab? That's a little fucking serious don't you think? He just needs _our _help Christian, not the help of a bunch of doctors and quacks"

"Elliot, he has been taking cocaine. On more than one occasion, that makes him an addict. He needs professional help, help that we cant give him. Besides he doesn't want my help anyway, I'm the last person that he will want to confide in" I run my hands through my hair trying to think about what the fuck to do for the best. I don't want to send my best friend off to some rehab clinic, he needs people who care about him around.

"Have you told Ana?"

"No, and I'm not going to tell her either, so don't even think about telling Kate because she will run straight to Ana. I mean it Elliot I don't want her to know"

"Alright, alright jeez calm down I was only asking, although I think you're an ass to keep this from her, she was his girlfriend and she does still care about him"

"Yes I am quite fucking aware of that, but now she's _my _girlfriend and it's my job to protect her, Brody might be someone we love but he's still a drug addict, and their not famous for rational thinking"

"He would never hurt her Christian"

"It's not a chance I am willing to take Elliot, he's unstable right now" My mind flits back to ten minutes ago and Brody did seem slightly erratic, he was paranoid and on edge and I knew that he wasn't thinking straight, he would never intentionally hurt Ana but who knows what he is capable of when he is needing his next fix.

"Okay I get it, so what now?"

"Call Blake and tell him the situation, I have already spoken to Dylan"

"What did he say?"

"Not a lot, I think he was in shock. He's in Atlanta visiting his in laws but he said he would be back in the next week or so. I've got Taylor looking into Cassidy's dealer, he's already discovered she's getting it from the same guy every time but that's all we know for now, Lewis is on Brody 24/7 so we will know if he goes to her apartment again. We just have to buy our time, if we all approach him he is going to feel cornered and it wont help him"

"Okay, okay I understand. I hate this so much. Will you be at Mom and Dad's tonight?" I cant talk about Brody anymore.

"I think so, I asked Ana this morning and she said she would come with me, I think she's a bit nervous actually"

"It's the first time meeting the folks, she's bound to be on edge. I urrr…I'm bringing Kate" I cough nervously as I finish the last part of that sentence, there's silence for several seconds and I swear I can practically hear the bastard grinning into the phone.

"Kate? Since when?"

"Since I asked her last night, we…we had a talk"

"What about?"

"You know what about you jackass, I finally admitted my feelings to her" When Kate told me she loved me I freaked the fuck out, we have always had a casual relationship but over the last few months we have gotten close, really close and it scared the shit out of me, I started to want to spend time with her outside of the bedroom and I started to see her as more than just a casual fuck buddy, she makes me laugh and she is the only woman that can handle me when I am at my worst.

When she told me I either commit, or hit the road I panicked, I didn't want to lose her but I wasn't ready to tell her how I felt. But when she came here and demanded that I sort my shit out once and for all it all but clinched the deal for me, she looked so beautiful in a floral sundress and her hair thrown on top of her head, the way she stormed into my office was hot as hell and I realised right there and then that I was in love with Katherine Kavanagh.

"I'm fucking with you, I'm happy for you Bro honest"

"Thanks, it's early days yet but I want Mom and Dad to know that I am serious about her. Are you bringing anything tonight?"

"The usual, wine but Mom asked if I could pick up some dahlias"

"What the fuck are they?"

"Flowers you moron, she want's them for the table centrepieces or some shit like that"

"Since when did we become so domesticated, or whipped for that matter" I hear him laugh down the phone.

"Fuck knows, brother"

**Anastasia's POV**

"Kate, I am freaking out!"

"Calm down it's not that bad, you have loads to wear"

"Nothing that I like, seriously what the hell was I thinking when I brought _this?!" _I hold up the disgusting floor length maxi dress with a floral print that looks like it should be on drapes instead of clothes against my body and scrunch my face up at it as I look at it in the mirror.

"That's mine"

"Oooh, sorry. I bet it looks good on you" I mumble as I toss her the offending dress before turning my attention back to the array of clothes spread over my bed, Christian is coming to pick me up in two hours so that we can head to his parents house and my nerves are shot.

His Mom phoned him this morning before he left for work asking us round for dinner tonight, I was actually surprised I was invited as I didn't even know he had told his parents about our relationship.  
When I questioned him on it he gave me an _"Are you crazy?" _look and rolled his eyes, he told me that his Mother had her suspicions surrounding our connection before we even got together, and that alone shocks me. I drift off to our conversation earlier this morning.

"_What do you mean she already knew?"_

"_I didn't say she already knew I said that she was suspicious, apparently the sexual tension between us was palpable" He smirks at me as he sips his coffee._

"_I'm serious Christian"_

"_So am I, we were dancing and she told me that she knew I had feelings for you, she said I hadn't taken my eyes off of you all night. I can't say she was wrong. That's when I discovered you had punched Brody in the nose"_

"_Ugh don't even remind me, So that's why she was looking at me strange" I say more to myself._

"_When did she look at you strange?" He asks me as he folds his newspaper in half and finishes the last of his bagel._

"_At the Fairmont, I caught her eye, well she caught my eye and she just…Looked at me funny, she smiled at me though"_

"_Of course she did, because she knew you were the woman that her son was hopelessly in love with, she was just sizing you up. Anyway, I spoke to her before I left for Paris and told her everything" He says so nonchalantly making my eyes widen to the size of saucers._

"_You told her that we were together?"_

"_Yes, she's my Mother she's not stupid. She knew something was up with me as soon as I answered the phone"_

"_What did she say?"_

"_Well understandably she was concerned about Brody, but once I told her that we were serious about each other and that I was falling in love with you that was it, it took me five minutes to get her to stop crying" My heart melts instantly, he told her that?_

"_You told your Mom that you were in love with me?" I almost expire on the spot when a slight blush creeps across his skin and as he shrugs his shoulders like it's no big deal, he's gone shy! I jump up from my stool and fling my arms around his neck, his hands go around my waist and I smother his face with wet, sloppy kisses._

"_You are so sweet, although you had that the wrong way round you know. You were supposed to tell me first" I say with a grin as he laughs at me._

"_I was just trying it out for size, so are you up for tonight?"_

"_Yeah, I guess. Will I be under scrutiny?"_

"_No not at all, they just want to get to know you baby" He strokes the back of his knuckles down my face and kisses the tip of my nose._

"_What should I wear? Is it formal?"_

"_It's just dinner, but Mia always likes to dress up, wear whatever you want baby"_

He was no fricking help at all, I don't want to turn up overdressed but I don't want to be underdressed either, I hate this.

"What are you wearing?"

"This" She gestures to her outfit from her spot on the bed with her hand, typically she looks amazing. She's wearing a black and cream wrap dress, it's sophisticated and sexy at the same time and it's the perfect outfit to wear whilst meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time. She doesn't even look nervous, I want to hit her.

"This is cute, try this on" She picks up a black skater dress with a lace top and holds it against my chest.

"I don't know Kate, isn't it a little revealing?" It's not slutty but it does have a slight v-neck on the top, allowing a small amount of cleavage to be on show. I don't want them to get the wrong impression about me.

"Pair it with thick, black tights, it will look perfect" I reluctantly try the dress on and I must admit it does look pretty cute.  
As I start curling my hair I hear my phone ringing, I ask Kate to bring it to me and I'm surprised to see it's my Dad calling. I don't hesitate to answer.

"Hey, Daddy. How are you?"

"I'm good baby girl, I'm not calling you at a bad time am I?"

"No dad, I always have time for you. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine Annie, you worry too much about me you know"

"I can't help it, I'll always worry about you you're my daddy. What are you doing tonight?" I try and multi task, wedging my phone in between my ear and shoulder whilst I wrap a strand of hair around the barrel but it's not easy.

"There's a mariners game on later, that will keep me entertained" I smile to myself, there are three things that keep my dad happy in life. Fishing, baseball and me "What are you doing, is Brody taking you out?" I cringe, I still haven't plucked up the courage to tell him about mine and Brody's break up yet, or the fact that I am now in a new relationship with his former best friend.

"Ummm…Actually dad, I've been meaning to call you, there's something I need to tell you"

"What, what is it? You're not pregnant are you? He asks in a flustered breath.

"No dad of course not!" I immediately hear his sigh of relief.

"Thank Christ, what is it then?" _Shit, where do I even start?_

"Brody and I aren't together anymore" _No point in beating around the bush is there? _He's silent, too silent. Dad and Brody have always got on, I was petrified to introduce them to each other at first after my disastrous relationship with Adam, Ray didn't even pretend to like him he just hated him right from the off, saying that he was a _"bad egg". _But I needn't have worried, he got on with Brody like a house on fire right from the off.

"Since when, what happened Annie?"

"Oh, it's a really long and boring story dad, but things just didn't work out for us that's all"

"Are you okay honey?"

"Yeah I'm fine honestly, it's for the best"

"Well, I wont say that I wont miss the boy, but as long as you are happy that's all that matters to me. Bit of alone time will do you some good" I steel myself and take a deep breath.

"Actually, that leads me on to my next bit of news"

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" I decide to just jump straight in there.

"I've met someone, someone special. I really think you'll love him" I try and act blasé about the fact that I have already got a new boyfriend but inside I'm feeling anything but, and I know that I wont be fooling my dad either he knows me better than anyone. In the corner of my eye I see Kate walking back into the bedroom with rollers now in her hair.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I've met someone else, his name is Christian and he's really great Dad" Kate looks at me dumbfounded but I turn around so I cant see her, she probably thought that I had already told him. Nope. I'm just a fucking coward.

"Help me out a bit here Annie because I'm slightly confused, you've ended things with Brody and you're already in another relationship?" I nod stupidly and then realise that my dad cant see me.

"Yeah, pretty much"

"Christ, Ana that's a little bit fast don't you think? Who is this guy?" I'm not ready to explain all the warped ins and outs just yet, that's a conversation I need to have with him face to face.

"I really care about him dad, I know it's soon but he's special to me and why wait? When it's right it's right. Listen, why don't you come over for a visit next week? We can catch up properly"

"I guess I could do that, spend some quality time with my baby girl" Just the thought of seeing my dad has me grinning from ear to ear, I hate not living close to him and every time I see him I regress into a ten year old child again, I cling to him for dear life the whole time he is here and cry like a baby when it's time for him to leave again.

"Perfect, I will call you tomorrow and we will make plans okay?"

"Okay baby, speak soon"

"Bye, daddy" I click the disconnect button and turn around, Kate is stood leaning against the door jam with her arms folded against her chest looking at me expectantly.

"What the hell Ana? I thought you had already told Ray?!"

"I just never found the right time that was all Kate, he knows now so it's no big deal" I continue to wrap my hair around the barrel feeling my best friend's eyes on me the whole time.

"And what do you think he will say when you tell him everything?"

"I haven't got that far yet, Ray loves me and he just wants me to be happy, and Christian makes me happy" I spray my hair and swipe gloss over my lips before stepping into my black pumps.

Show time.

* * *

"Wow, baby. You look…Yeah wow" I giggle at my boyfriends stupefied expression as he stands at the threshold of Kate's apartment, he looks so gorgeous in his dark jeans and white dress shirt paired with his pinstriped jacket. _I could just eat him right here._

"Where's Elliot?" I ask as I shrug on my blazer, pulling my hair out of the back.

"He'll be another ten minutes or so yet, he's worse than a woman, shall we go?" I take his outstretched hand and yell out to Kate that I'll see her there before we head to the car.

"No Taylor?" I ask I see the R8 parked at the side of the sidewalk.

"No, I thought it could just be you and me for a while" He grins that dazzling American boy smile at me that makes my panties wet as he opens my door for me. _I love him._

He pulls out into the road and we head in the direction of Bellevue, I can feel the knot twisting in my stomach as I'm reminded with the fact that I am meeting his family tonight, what will they think of me?  
Grace knows that I was Brody's girlfriend so she is bound to have formed her own opinion of me, I just hope that she doesn't think I make a habit of this type of behaviour, leaving men for their best friends. I want her to know that Christian is it for me and I'm not going anywhere.

"What are you thinking about?" Christian asks as he places his hand on my knee and squeezes gently.

"Just tonight, I really want your parents to like me"

"Baby, why wouldn't they? Just be yourself and they'll love you just as much as I do"

"You want your dad to love me just as much as you do?" I say with a sly smirk making him laugh. He looks so hot when he's driving, his movements are so smooth and controlled, the way he shifts gears with his strong, firm hands…. _Fuck, I could just tell him to pull over so I can have sex with him right now._

"No, not exactly the way I do but close. Don't worry, they wont bite"

"Speaking of dad's, mine called me tonight"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I finally told him about us" His eyes flicker in my direction briefly before he turns his attention back to the road.

"What did he say? Was he pissed? Does he want to shoot me?" I can't help but laugh, I never thought I would see the day where Christian Grey was afraid of someone.

"No, I only told him your name I didn't go into details, he's actually planning on coming to see me next week so you can meet him then"

"Fuck, talk about throwing me in at the deep end Ana"

"What? It's no different to what you're doing to me tonight, at least I'm giving you a weeks notice"

"Yeah, but your dad is ex marine, he can kick my ass if he doesn't like me" _So cute._

"Now who's worrying? My dad is the easiest person to get along with, just talk about fishing and Mariners and you will be fine"

Before long we pull into the Grey's driveway and even though I have been here before, I'm still dumbfounded at how beautiful this house really is, Christian was so lucky to have grown up here with a big family around him. I don't know if he realises this but If I had a slice of the life he had as a child I would have been so incredibly grateful.

"Ready baby?" He asks as he turns the engine off and twists his body towards me in his seat.

"Ready as ever" I smile brightly and try to relax, he brings my hand to his lips and kisses each of my knuckles softly.

He knocks on the door and I instantly wonder why he just doesn't walk in?

Grace opens the door and wraps her arms around Christian straight away, the love radiating from this woman for her son is astronomical, she strokes his cheeks and gazes at him lovingly before stepping back to look at me, I half expect her to slap me and tell me what a slut I am but instead she pulls me into an embrace and squeezes me tightly.

"It's so wonderful to meet you Anastasia, Christian's told me so much about you" She holds me at arms length and takes a good look at me, she really is a stunning woman. She actually reminds me of Gail, naturally beautiful with a warm and gentle personality that instantly relaxes me.  
I slowly feel the anxiety ebb away as she strokes my cheek much like she did to Christian.

"Please call me Ana, thank you for having me" I feel Christian's arm wrap around my waist as we walk through the foyer and into the living area, I didn't see this part of the house during the coping together event and I'm not at all surprised at how gorgeous it is.  
Although it's just as polished and superior as Escala, it is filled with so much more warmth compared to Christian's apartment, the walls are adorned with photograph after photograph of their children at various stages in their life, there is a huge glass cabinet in the far corner of the room filled with trophies and framed certificates and I can tell at once that they are extremely proud parents and as they should be, I'm sot sure what Mia does yet but Christian and Elliot have achieved so much at incredibly young ages.

"Ana, this is Carrick my Father, Dad this is Ana" I stand forward and hold my hand out for him to shake but he pulls on it instead, wrapping me in a bear hug. _A family of huggers I see! _I look at Christian once Carrick releases me and see that he is stood there with wide eyes, and then I remember what he told me about him and his dad not having the closest of relationships, he's probably surprised at how affectionate he is being with me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ana" He says as he looks me up and down "I see you've got yourself a beautiful one here son" Grace and I laugh as Christian pulls me into his side.

"Would you really expect any less of me dad?" Carrick laughs and slaps his arm playfully.

"Lets sit down and have a drink, Christian where is your brother?"

We sit on the large 'L' shaped couch in the middle of the room and right on cue a waitress walks in carrying a tray of champagne, she's blonde and slim and looks like she's in her mid twenties.

I notice that her chest coincidentally pushes out further as soon as she reaches Christian, she bats her eyelashes that are heavily coated in mascara as she addresses him in a sickly sweet voice, unfortunately for her he doesn't even acknowledge her presence, he just simply takes the flute from the tray with a gruff thank you, the dejected look on her face is priceless and I grin inwardly to myself. _Back off bitch, He's mine._

"He'll be here soon, he's picking Kate up on the way"

"Kate is your friend isn't she Ana?" Carrick asks me as he takes a seat next to his wife, he really is a handsome man, if I didn't know that Christian and Elliot were adopted I would never have thought it because they are all just so damn gorgeous.

"Yes, I've known her for just over two years now, we met through work and we've been inseparable ever since" Grace smiles brightly at me as she snuggles into Carrick's side.

"How nice, our boys falling in love with best friends Cary" Christian places his hand on my knee and rubs his thumb in small circles, just his touch alone soothes me.

"She's more like a sister to me, I can assure you that Elliot has found a diamond in Kate" I say as I champion my friend, why not big her up, huh?

"Where's Mia?"

"You know Mia, she takes a week to get ready. I'll go call for her" Grace jumps up and heads to the staircase.

"Christian tells us you studied English Literature at college Ana?" Just how much has Christian told his family exactly? I was half expecting them to know next to nothing about me but here they are firing the questions at me.

"I did, I've always loved reading and it just felt like the natural route to go down, I studied for four years before I received my degree and I loved every minute of it" I feel proud as I talk about my time at college, before I would shy away and change the subject as the only feelings I felt were embarrassment and shame, there I was with a degree in English Literature and I was working at Nordstrom. But now Christian is in my life that has all changed, he makes me feel the courage I never knew I even had, he makes me the person that I have always wanted to be and he guides me every day without even being aware he is doing it. _I love him._

"Intelligent as well as beautiful I see, where did you study?"

"Washington State University, It wasn't the most fancy of colleges but it served it's purpose, I had a lot of good times there" I feel Christian stiffen beside me, as I turn my head to look at him I see his gaze fixated onto his flute and champagne, he must feel my eyes on him because he looks up almost immediately. I mouth 'are you okay?" at him but only receive a small smile in return. Strange.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my shoes" I hear in a high pitched squeal behind me and am met with a tall, curvaceous brunette bouncing in our direction, once her eyes fall upon me her hand flies to her mouth as she gasps audibly, I stand just in time to catch her as she flies into my arms nearly knocking me on my ass. _Jeez, excited much?_

"Hi, I'm Mia! I'm so happy to meet you!" I flinch a bit as she squeals in my ear, god she's really loud!

"Pleasure to meet you too Mia, I'm Ana" I try to pull away but she just tightens her hold on me even more, I feel Christian's hand on my arm no doubt trying to break me from his sister's grip but she's not having any of it.

"Jesus Christ Mia let her go! You'll frighten her away!" Eventually she lets me go and I feel like I need a tank of oxygen just to get the air back into my lungs.

"Oh, lighten up Christian! I just cant believe you have finally brought a girl home!" She shrieks as she claps her hands together, jumping on the spot like a small child.

"For heavens sakes pull yourself together Mia" Grace admonishes her daughter as she comes back into the room, I cant help but smile. Just to see how excited Mia is to have me here fills me with joy, It only just hits me now that I am the first girl Christian has introduced to his parents, I blindly reach for his hand seeking the connection with him and when he interlaces his fingers with mine, I near enough dissolve into a puddle of mush on the floor. _I love him._

**Christian's POV**

The atmosphere is light and relaxed as we eat dinner, Ana is to the left of me and I haven't removed my hand from her knee for the duration of the entire evening. She looks so happy and carefree right now, I was so worried that she would be too nervous about tonight and bail out on me but here she is - Looking beautiful and showing my family just how perfect and amazing she really is, she hasn't stopped talking all night whereas I have been more quiet and reserved.  
Just to hear her talk about her life so jubilantly like this amazes me, any question that my family have thrown at her she has answered with enthusiasm, I think it relaxes her having Kate here with her too, kind of like moral support when she needs it most.

I still cant actually believe Kate _is _here, I knew from day one that my brother was in love with this woman but I never thought that he would admit it to her, or to himself for that matter.  
He hasn't taken his eyes off of her all night, he is hanging on her every word and if I wasn't so in love myself I would be ripping the shit out of him.  
Every so often he will stroke her cheek or tuck her hair behind her ear, he's being so tender and sincere and I know that I'm not the only one who has noticed, Ana smiles every time she looks in their direction and my Mom looks like she will burst into tears at any minute, she's probably just still in shock that her two promiscuous sons who slept around like dogs on heat have finally found love.

"So what publishing firms have you chosen honey?" I hear my mom ask Ana as I tear my gaze away from my brother.

"I've sent resumes to every company in Seattle so far, I want to cover all bases" She replies softly as she twirls the pasta around her fork, she _even _makes eating spaghetti look hot.

"Wise girl, when do you think you will hear back?" My dad asks whilst standing to refill every ones glasses, I am dumbfounded at how relaxed and animated he is being tonight, I was expecting him to be an asshole if I'm honest, not to Ana but to me, belittling me at every chance he could get and making me look like a dickhead but he's actually being - _nice._

"I don't expect them all to want me, that's why I have contacted every firm" My girl is so sweet, she still doesn't realise how utterly brilliant she is, she's so naturally intelligent and they would all be fools to let her slip through their fingers.

Taylor has vetted each and every publishing house in Seattle and so far so good, there are more men under employ than I would like but what can I exactly do about that? If I had my way I would fire each and every one of them but I realise that's completely irrational and barbaric even for me.

All members of staff are clean and the worst offence found was a speeding ticket, when Taylor came back with the report I instantly breathed a sigh of relief, all of this shit with Brody is making me paranoid and even more protective over Ana than usual, the thought of anything happening to her is abhorrent to me. She has only been in my life for a matter of weeks but she already means the world to me and even that doesn't begin to scratch the surface.

I know it was sudden when I asked her to move in with me yesterday but it felt so right, the thought of waking up next to her every morning and falling asleep whilst holding her every night made my stomach churn, but in the most amazing way possible.  
I couldn't mask the disappointment when she said no, I wasn't at all surprised as I know its so soon but I just want her with me all the time, I want to look after her and protect her every minute of the day just as she looks after me.  
I have fallen in love with this girl so fast and so hard that I can barely breathe sometimes, I know that I have to tell her about Brody but I just don't know how. Knowing my Ana she will be absolutely devastated and blame herself for his downfall, I do believe that our relationship has played a part in this but something tells me in the pit of my stomach that there's more to this than meets the eye, more than what Brody is letting on.

"I cant believe you're leaving me, it wont be the same without you at work" Kate says with a pout as she reaches for her wine glass.

"Hey, we'll still see each other all the time you know we will. And I haven't left yet"

"Don't you two live together?" Mia asks as she points her finger between Kate and Ana.

"We do at the minute but I'm actually looking for my own apartment" The sinking feeling returns to my stomach and I automatically scoot closer towards Ana and wrap my arm around her shoulders, needing to feel close to her.

"Where will you go?"

"Not far, in fact I'm hoping to move closer to Escala" _Not close enough baby, just move in with me._

"That is so sweet, you two can be together all the time" Mia squeals as she fidgets in her seat, Christ she is so fucking annoying. Anyone would think that she is two not twenty two.

"That's what I thought" Ana turns her head and smiles sweetly at me, her beautiful blue eyes sparking in the light. _God, I love her so much._

Just then Gretchen walks into the room with a cheesecake laden tray.

"Would anyone like desert?"

* * *

"How fucking surreal is this man, you and me at our parents with our girlfriends" Elliot whispers to me as we sit on the loveseat in the lounge with a beer, the girls are sat at the opposite end of the room giggling into their wineglasses and I am once again mesmerised at how beautiful my baby looks, her laugh alone can light up a room.

"I know tell me about it, it's like we've been transported to another fucking planet. Feels good though right?" He nods at me and clinks his bottle against mine.

"Christian -"

"No Ell don't, I know what you're about to say and I don't want to hear it, lets just enjoy tonight okay?"

"We have to tell them though Bro, Ana especially, if she finds out from someone else she is going to be seriously pissed with you"

"I know, I'm just buying my time that's all. This is going to hit her hard"

"It's hit us all hard Christian, but he needs us right now." He's right, Ana does have a right to know and I have to tell her as soon as possible, I'm just scared she will want to help him and I still don't want him near her, I cant get over the fear that he will hurt her.

I actually had a nightmare last night that Brody broke his way into Escala and took her, he actually took her from me and it was so vivid and real, in the dream I woke up to her empty spot in the bed and realised that she wasn't there, I searched for her for what felt like eternity and eventually found her at his apartment, tied to the bed with needle marks in her arm and completely out of it. I shook her and screamed her name but she wouldn't wake up, she was so pale and cold. It was fucking horrific, I woke up drenched in sweat and fighting for breath. I pulled her close to me and squeezed her for dear life, she woke confused as hell but I couldn't form the words to explain what was wrong with me let alone string a sentence together, all I could do was roll her over and slide inside her. I needed reaffirming that she was really there with me and that she was safe.  
It's safe to say that that was the single, most terrifying moment of my life.

I see Ana stand and I grab her hand as she walks past me.

"Where are you going baby?"

"I'm just getting some more wine for your Mom, I will be two minutes" She smiles at me as she walks away and my eyes land on her gorgeous ass, best damn ass in Seattle.

"I'll be right back" I nudge Elliot before I stand.

"Where are you going?" I raise my eyebrows at him and watch as he clicks on, a smirk growing at the corner of his mouth.

I find her unscrewing a bottle of red wine in the kitchen, she hasn't noticed my presence yet so I quietly sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, nuzzling my nose in her hair, inhaling her unique scent.

"Fuck! You scared the shit out of me" Her hand flies to her chest as she breathes a sigh of relief when she discovers that it's only me.

"Sorry baby, I just couldn't resist touching you. I've missed you" I pepper soft kisses along her neck, occasionally licking and sucking as I go.

"Missed me? I've been right here all night"

"You know what I mean, I've missed doing this" I say as I cup her breast in my hand, it's so full and heavy "and this" I scoop her hair away from her shoulder and begin to suck on her beautiful, creamy skin. She gasps audibly as her head drops back onto my shoulder, pushing her breast into my hand further "and this" I whisper hotly in her ear as my left hand moves from her hip to her panty clad sex.

"Christian-"

"Shhh, don't speak baby" I rub her over her dress and tights for several seconds before lifting the hem of her dress and snaking my hand inside, I'm greeted with a wet lacy thong, a _very _wet, lacy thong.

"My, my, my baby, what do we have here?" I apply pressure to her clit and she whimpers in my ear slightly, she's so turned on right now, I can tell just by her heavy breathing. She rocks her hip trying to gain friction as I continue to rub her over her panties, I slide them aside and run one finger up and down her drenched folds, fuck she's so wet. I feel my cock respond and twitch, threatening to burst from the seam of my pants any minute now.

"You're so wet baby, are you horny? Have you been thinking about me fucking you?" I feel her nod against my neck and I cant help but grin, thinking about sex at my parents dinner table? Naughty little minx. I spin her around and push her against the counter roughly, her arms fly out to the sides so she can grasp onto something for leverage as I sink two fingers inside of her, her head drops back as she moans softly, there is nothing I love more than seeing her moan and writhe in pleasure, the way she sinks her teeth into her lip gets me every fucking time.

"Christian we can't -" I cut her off with my lips, giving her a searing kiss that sets my blood on fire, I could fuck her right here in my parents' kitchen but I know we don't have time, I'm playing with fire already knowing that anyone could walk in and catch us at any minute. Although that just turns me on even more.

"You like that baby? Is this what you were thinking about? Me, fucking you with my fingers like this?" I add a third digit and thrust inside her at a furious pace, I can hear her juices slapping against my hand and it's the most hottest sound in the world, next to Ana's delectable moans.

She grabs onto my hair and nuzzles her face into my neck, mewling and whimpering over and over again, I can feel her legs begin to tremble, her insides starting to clench me so deliciously.

"I can feel you Ana, I want you to come for me baby" I kiss her neck and suck harshly but then pull away, remembering how much she hates hickies.  
She lets out a long but quiet moan as she pulses around me, pulling my fingers in so tight and deep so that I can feel every spasm and every quake, her breathing is laboured as she rides out her climax, her fingers tightening in my hair as she wraps her free leg around my waist, grinding against my dick as the intense waves continue to consume her, I grip onto her thigh and pull her close to me, rocking my hips into her sex as she comes down from her release.

I kiss her neck softly as her breathing returns to normal, once I know she wont wobble over in post orgasmic bliss I remove my fingers and pull my face away so I can look at her, a beautiful flush is creeping over her chest and neck as what I have soon discovered is an after affect from sex for her. She looks so fucking beautiful.

"I love to watch you come" I bring my fingers to my mouth and suck each one individually, sucking her sweet juices off never once taking my eyes off of her.

She gasps as she sees what I am doing but I know it turns her on.

"Christian, I cant believe you just did that" She says as she adjusts her dress to it original state.

"Did what?"

"You know what"

"No I don't. Say it?" I tell her with a sly smirk, I love it when she gets all shy about sex. Even though she just came on my hand in my parents kitchen. Is it just me or do we have a thing for getting horny in kitchens?

"You know, _that. _With your…Fingers" She whispers as she looks to her feet. She's so god damn adorable I just want to put her in my pocket. I place my finger under her chin and lift her head to meet my gaze.

"Don't be coy baby, we've done all manner of things together for you to be shy with me. And I am nowhere finished with you yet" I kiss her softly before unscrewing the wine and leading Ana back into the living area.

"What took you so long? We thought you had gotten lost" Mia says from her spot on the floor next to Kate.

"Ana had trouble opening the wine so I lent a hand" I pull her next to me and try not to lose it as I see Ana's horrified expression, my mom, dad and Mia are none the wiser but when I look over at Elliot he has his fist in his mouth stifling a laugh.

**Anastasia's POV**

"Hello"

"Anastasia Steele?"

"Yes, speaking?"

"This is Debra Collins calling from the HR department at Seattle Independent Publishing" My heart stops, I sit up quickly on the couch making Christian jump.

"Oh, hello. How are you?"

"I'm very well thank you Miss Steele, I'm calling to invite you along for an interview regarding the open position for an editorial assistant" I grin to myself and conceal the scream that wants to erupt from my throat. I look at Christian and he is looking at me expectantly, wondering why the hell I am grinning like a crazy person no doubt.

"Wow, that's amazing thank you. What date and time?" I motion the word pen at Christian and thankfully he catches on, reaching into his laptop bag beside him and pulling out a pen and paper before handing them to me.

"This coming Monday at 11.30am. Is that time suitable for you Miss Steele?"

"That's perfect"

"And you know where to find us?"

"Yes absolutely, thank you so much"

Once I hang up I jump up from the couch and begin to bounce on the spot, shrieking like a banshee and flapping my arms about.

"Care to share?" I whip round and turn my attention to my boyfriend who is now sat in an upright position.

"I got an interview!" He immediately jumps up and wraps me in his arms, picking me up and spinning me round making me giggle.

"Baby that's amazing! Who for?"

"Seattle Independent, I cant believe it. I only sent them my resume yesterday" I say once he sets me on the ground, still keeping his hands on my hips.

"That's because you're amazing Ana. I knew that as soon as they saw what you had to offer they would snap you up. I'm so proud of you baby" He strokes my cheek and I lean into his palm.

"I haven't got it yet don't get too proud of me" He tugs my hand and we flop back down onto the couch, we have been lazing around the apartment all day, we didn't get home from his parents till late last night and surprisingly Christian has taken the day off work so he can spend time with me, we've talked, watched movies, ate rubbish food and had sex more times than I can count, it's been perfect.

"I have every faith in you baby, you will knock them dead I know you will" He wraps his arm around me as I snuggle into his side, pulling the blanket over my bare legs "Do you know what division it is yet?"

"No, not yet. They have several positions opening up in various departments so it could be any. I still cant believe it"

"This is the first step Ana, the first step into leaving Nordstrom and getting the career you have always wanted" Christian says softly as he runs his fingers through my hair lulling me into complete relaxation.

"I wont leave work until I know this job is mine and I can sign on the dotted line, I cant get my hopes up too much" I feel his lips press against my forehead, I trace circles lazily against his chest as I close my eyes, I can feel my eyes begin to droop as I feel dog tired all of a sudden.

"I know, that's because you're smart baby. I think we should go out to celebrate tonight, what do you think?"

"Hmmm"

"We could go to the Mile High again? What do you want to do baby?" I honestly cant think of anything while he is playing with my hair like that.

"Can we just stay in, I can cook for you" I mumble sleepily against his chest.

"We can go anywhere for dinner and you want to stay in and cook for me?" He says with a chuckle.

"Hmmm, I like cooking for you. It makes me happy"

"Okay beautiful, I only ever want to make you happy"


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 - Ex boyfriends and sordid pasts.**

**Anastasia's POV**

"I can't believe it's your interview tomorrow, this is so amazing!" Olivia squeaks from behind me as she starts to remove the heated rollers from my hair, she demands that I _must _get my hair done at least once a month. According to Liv it's a 'necessity' and a 'way of life'.  
I honestly think it's an excuse for us to catch up and gossip, but I'll go with it.

"Neither can I, I can't get my hopes up though, it's only an interview. They probably called another twenty candidates as well as me" Her hands still in my hair as she tilts her head to the side and cocks a disapproving eyebrow.

"You are so low on yourself Anastasia Steele, they contacted you because _you _are amazing, you have a degree in English Literature and a fricking GPA 4.0! I wish you would believe in yourself more" _Easier said than done my friend._

"Olivia you have to tell me that, you're my best friend, you're hardly going to tell me how shit I am are you" I say as I run my fingers through the soft, bouncy curls that are framing my face but Olivia slaps my hand away, telling me to leave them alone until they are cool.

"I would tell you if you were shit, but you're not so shut up!"

"Olivia, chip chop please. You're next customer is in fifteen minutes" The bitchy supervisor sneers in the mirror from behind us, she is the one member of staff here that I could quite easily slap. She struts around the salon like she owns it, pissing everyone off in the mean time.

"Yes, Melissa" Olivia replies in a sickly, sweet voice, smiling brightly from ear to ear but once Melissa's back is turned she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"She is one pain in my ass, who the hell does she think she is. And who talks like that in front of customers!"

"She knows I'm you're friend that's why"

"That doesn't matter, you're a paying client and she needs to learn some manners" She mutters as she continues to remove the rollers, teasing the curls as she goes.

"We're nearly done anyway it's fine, I'm meeting Christian at his office for lunch in half an hour" Olivia's face lights up when I mention Christian's name, she is the only person that hasn't judged me and our relationship and it's so refreshing.

Olivia called me the day after everyone found out about us asking for all the details, she was understandably freaked out when she returned back to Blake's that night.  
Elliot phoned Blake and explained that they couldn't head back to the apartment until he gave them the green light, of course Blake demanded an explanation. Hell so would I if someone told me I couldn't go back to my own apartment.  
In the end Elliot told him everything, and in turn Olivia and Dylan discovered the truth.

"How is all that going with you two?"

"So far so good" I say with a smirk "He's amazing Liv, I've never felt this way before, not even close actually. He just _get's me _you know? I feel like I can tell him anything and everything, he's just perfect" I can't help but smile as I talk about my man.  
I flick my eyes in the mirror and see Olivia gazing at me with a look of adoration all over her face.

"I've never heard you talk that way before" She says softly as she places her hand on my shoulder and rubs gently.

"I suppose I have never had reason to before" That sounds awful considering I was in two serious relationships before Christian, but I can honestly say that neither of them could ever compare to what I have now. I _did_ love Brody, he was my life for the best part of a year and I would have done anything for him, but things just _fizzled out_. Plain and simple.

"Well, I'm happy for you sweetie. You deserve true love more than anyone I know, and Christian is sooooo…" I laugh as her eyes roll back into her head as she tries to complete that sentence, I know my man is dreamy. Dreamy doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

"Right, there all done!" She exclaims triumphantly as she fiddles with the side of my hair, fluffing the top with the tips of her fingers and nearly choking me to death with the amount of fix and hold she sprays over my curls.

"Thanks Liv, I love it" She is a damn good stylist, my hair is so long and thick but she makes it look so effortless every time, when I asked her to cut an inch or so off the ends for me she near but slapped me in the face, telling me that I was so lucky to have 'Rapunzel hair' and that most women would die for half the length that I have. It's just a pain in the ass to me.

As I'm putting my coat on I see Sawyer standing near the exit and looking out the glass doors, he lifts his arm to his mouth and I wonder what the hell he is doing until I realise that he is speaking into the piece attached to his cuff. It's honestly like being chaperoned by James Bond.

"What's he doing?" Olivia asks as she walks behind the reception desk, standing on her tip toes trying to see what it is Sawyer is so damn fascinated with outside, just as I am paying he stalks over towards me.

"Miss Steele, we have a situation. The press have been tipped off that you are here and are stationed outside" Olivia gasps as her hand flies to her mouth and I swear all eyes in this salon have turned to me.

"What? How?" I don't even know where to start, this will be my first real dealing with the paparazzi without having my boyfriend by my side since they discovered I am now the girlfriend of Christian Grey.  
They got pictures of us both leaving the Mile High Club three nights ago as well as pictures of us walking through Pike Market Place hand in hand.  
Ever since then they have been camped outside Escala, outside Nordstrom and even Kate's apartment waiting to get their precious shots of me, I honestly think its ridiculous.  
I'm just a normal girl that happened to fall in love. Okay fair enough I fell in love with one of the most wealthiest businessmen in the whole of the United States but still? What is so god damn interesting about me and my life?

"How many?"

"A lot Miss Steele"

"It cant be anymore than there was this morning, it will be fine"

"No Ma'am I'm afraid we can't leave the premises right now, both Taylor and Mr Grey have instructed me to keep you here until they arrive. I have extra security surrounding the perimeter of the building so the press can't get too close and get a picture of you in here" What?

"Oh my god this is so crazy! You're like a freakin' celebrity Ana!" Olivia squeals as she grabs on to my arm and shakes me excitedly, of course she finds this fun. To anyone looking in from the outside it looks so glamorous and opulent but to me, it's frustrating and tedious and basically an invasion of my god damn privacy.

"Why is Christian coming ? What's going on?" I mutter exasperatedly as I cock my hip to the side and cross my arms against my chest.

"There has been an article in the _Seattle Nooz _Miss Steele. And it has gained a lot of unwanted attention"

"What kind of article?" I'm vaguely aware that the room is deathly silent right now, even all the hairdryer's have switched off, I glance over my shoulder and see at least twenty pairs of eyes trained on me and my security.

"I'm not at liberty to say Ma'am"

"Oh for god's sake Sawyer! Just tell me and stop calling me Ma'am, how many more times do I have to tell you it's Ana!" I run my hand through my hair but Olivia pulls it away as she sighs under her breath, no doubt pissed off that I am ruining her master piece.

"The curls aren't cool yet Ana leave!" She scolds me like a small child. If only all I had to worry about was my hair not being quite set.

"I have been instructed to wait until Mr Grey arrives" He is so fucking annoying, what's the difference between him telling me and Christian telling me? Fine I will find out by myself.  
I pull my iPhone from my purse and search for the _Nooz _website. I feel Olivia peering over my shoulder and when I glance up Sawyer is looking at his feet, I guess he knows he cant stop me from looking on my own phone and probably thinks if he can't see me then no harm is done.  
Once I reach the 'Hot Gossip' section I scroll down until I find the offending article.

_**RAUNCHY INSIDE SCOOP FROM GREY'S GIRLFRIEND'S EX LOVER!**_

_**You've read it here first! Ever since the news hit that Seattle's very own notorious billionaire playboy has now indeed settled down, we have all been left wondering who this mysterious woman that has managed to captured the untamed heart of Christian Grey is. What's her story? Where did they meet?**_

_**Reports have revealed his new love interest as Anastasia Steele, a 23 year old English Literature graduate from Montesano, Washington  
**__**But now a new source has stepped forward ready to share hot off the press information about the beautiful brunette, all in the form of her ex boyfriend, Adam Atkins. And let us tell you that some of it is X-Rated!  
**__**Atkins contacted **__Nooz __**stating that he had been in a three year relationship with Miss Steele during their stint at Washington State University, where they studied for four years.**_

_**When questioned on the intimate details of their past, Atkins didn't hesitate to answer.**_

"_**We were together for three years, we grew up together and shared things that people can't even begin to imagine, we were always extremely physical especially in the early days of our relationship. There wasn't a day where we weren't all over each other, We've all wanted Christian Grey's life at some point so to know that I have had his girlfriend first thrills me no end. I even considered emailing him giving him some tips on what she likes, I know what pushes her buttons better than anyone"**_

_**When we asked how they came to be an item he said -**_

"_**We met during freshman year of college, we were at a party and were introduced through mutual friends. We hit it off straight away and started to get to know each other, by the end of the night we were back at her place and getting it on. She was a complete fireball and I knew right there and then that I had to have her again and again and again. After that we would secretly meet at different spots on campus and have sex, the cafeteria the bathrooms even the laundry room. It was so hot and she loved every minute of it"**_

_**We then asked what he thought of his ex girlfriends new relationship with Grey? -**_

"_**I can't see it lasting long, I know Ana and she is not made for the lifestyle that he can provide, she doesn't care for lavish luxuries and attending social events of the year, she finds it all conceited and it's only a matter of time before she throws in the towel and leaves"**_

_**We asked Atkins why they broke up and could he ever see a reconciliation in the near future? - **_

"_**As we reached our final year things got a little tense, Ana was determined to ace through her exams and that meant distancing herself away from me to focus. We drifted apart even though we were still really attracted to each other, we would have sex all the time but she wasn't the Ana that I met.**_

_**We eventually broke it and went our separate ways, I cant lie and say that I don't miss her. There is a lot of unfinished business between us and when she ends things with Grey I will be waiting for her"**_

_**Atkins even went on to say that his ex would often send him saucy pics of her in her underwear and sometimes even nude! We asked if he still had these offending pictures and he refused to comment. Hmmm does that mean that he does? And what would happen if these snaps were ever to leak? **_

_**He did however provide us with a PG picture of the pair when they were a couple and we cant help but notice how happy and well suited they seemed, does Christian Grey have competition? (See picture below)**_

_**Well there you have it Seattle, Miss Anastasia Steele has a raunchy past. Having hot sex in bathrooms and cafeterias?! Whatever would the elite have to say about such scandal *GASP* And we cannot wait to see how Grey reacts when he discovers the details of his girlfriend's life before him - Something tells us he won't be very pleased.**_

I feel all the breath leave my body and my hand that is holding my phone starts to shake, I vaguely hear Olivia in my ear but it's just noise. What the fuck is this?! How could he do this to me? I scroll to the top of the page and re read the article again, all the words begin to meld into one as I'm pulled onto one of the chairs in the waiting area, my eyes focus on the picture at the bottom of the article.  
I remember when that was taken, we were in a restaurant situated near campus and I am sat on his knee as the waiter captures the moment, my right arm is flung around his shoulders as he has both arms wrapped around my waist. We did look happy but it wasn't real, I thought it was but it wasn't. Not now I know what real love feels like. What we had was just a dress rehearsal.

"Ana, honey are you okay?" Olivia takes my hand in hers and rubs her thumb over my knuckles, I feel my phone being taken from my hand but I pull it back, I want to read it again.

"How could he, how could he say those things about me Liv?" My eyes begin to fill with tears but I refuse to cry, I will not cry over that fucking bastard!

"Because he's an asshole sweetie and he's jealous, he's seen the pictures of you and Christian and he's acting out"

"Everyone is gunna' read this, Olivia my Dad is going to read this!" I yell as I feel a tear spill over and fall down my cheek, just the thought of my dad having to read sordid details of his daughter's relationships sickens me. It's going to sicken him!

"No one reads this Ana, everyone knows it's just a gossip rag that holds no truth, don't worry about it"

"Don't worry?!" I scream as I stand to my feet making Olivia jump, attracting the attention of the entire salon once more.

"Is everything okay Olivia?" Oh great, it's this bitch again.

"Yes Melissa everything's fine"

"It doesn't seem like it. She's causing a scene"

"Oh piss off you interfering harpy, this is a private conversation and it has got nothing to do with you!" Olivia's eyes widen at my outburst and even I am shocked that I just came out with that. The little bitch doesn't retaliate though, she just rolls her eyes and flicks her fake blonde hair over her shoulder before stomping off.

This is a fucking disaster, I cant even begin to imagine how pissed Christian is going to be. I feel my hands clam up and I fan my hands in front of my face to try and calm myself down, my throat feels like it has constricted twice the size and my lips are so dry, I dart my tongue across them to try and regain some moisture but it's futile. To be honest I just want to be sick, I want to be sick right here in the lobby and I don't care who's watching. Hell they know everything about my sex life so what's a little projectile vomit?

I suddenly hear a commotion from outside and the paps are going crazy, I can hear yelling and the shutters of the cameras clicking and I instantly know that Christian has arrived. I move towards the window and feel Sawyer grab onto my arm as he tells me to grab my purse and stay close to him. He speaks into his piece for several more minutes before opening the door and pulling me out, I hear Olivia shout something to me from the doorway but I cant hear what she is saying, all I can hear is the pack of wolves in front of me, _Fuck there's so many of them_!

I hear my name being screamed in every direction but I shut them out, I lift my head and am instantly met with the furious face of my boyfriend, he climbs out of the car and pushes his way through the crowd until he reaches me. He grips my arm in a vice like grasp and manoeuvres me through the sea of press. I never realised how close they got until now, Jeez talk about invading personal space!

Once we reach the SUV, Taylor opens the door before I am practically pushed into the back seat by Christian.

He slams the door shut once we are safely inside and I have never been more grateful for the heavily tinted windows.

I lean my head against the back rest and close my eyes, releasing the breath I had been holding ever since Sawyer ushered me outside.

"Fuck!" I open my eyes to see Christian slam his hand against the seat in front of him with force. He turns his attention to me and the first thing that hits me are his eyes, they are so cold and dark and once he narrows them at me and shakes his head I feel a chill run through my body. He's pissed at me.

**Christian's POV**

"Sir, we have a situation" I look up from the contracts on my desk to see Taylor bursting into my office with Davenport behind him.

"What is it? Is it Ana? Is she okay?" I immediately panic and fear the worst.

"Yes and no Sir, not in the way are you thinking. The _Nooz _have just released an article and it's bad"

"What kind of article?" I am pulling at my tie now, when I see Taylor panic I panic.

"It's about Miss Steele. An ex boyfriend has sold a story on her and revealed some…Private information" I stiffen and feel the blood rush from my face, just the words 'Ana' 'ex boyfriend' and 'private information' makes my head spin, I pull my tie further until it is literally hanging at my waist and run my hands through my hair. This can only be bad news.

"Where is it? I want to read it?"

"Sir I think I should brief - "

"Give me the fucking article now Taylor!" To his credit he doesn't even flinch, he simply walks around my desk and types in the search bar of my computer screen. After a few minutes he stands back and turns the screen to face me.

I don't even get past the headline before I begin to sweat, I feel my teeth clench as I read the filthy, disgusting words that are before me and want nothing more than to hurl the contents of my stomach into the trash can next to my desk.

"Mother fucker!" I swing my arm back and send all the papers that were on my desk flying across the room. I can't breathe. I can't even fucking think straight.

Some fucking asshole has released a story on _my _girlfriend and thinks he can get away with it? My eyes reluctantly re- read the words and I have to place a hand over my mouth to stifle the gag that is begging to be released from my throat. _She's mine. She's mine .She's mine. This was before me. She's mine now._

"Sir, Miss Steele is currently at Salon Seven where her friend Miss Thomas works, Sawyer has reported there to be a large number of press stationed outside deeming it unsafe for them to leave. I suggest that Davenport and I head down there and sort this cluster fuck out, I have already pulled four more guys in and they are on the way now. Sir?" I haven't lifted my eyes from the screen once, all I can focus on is the grotesque picture in front of me.

_My _Ana sat on this fucking fuckers knee whilst he has his hands all over her, I can see his right hand resting on her ass and my fists automatically clench. _That is MY ass and that is MY girlfriend you god damn son of a bitch._

"Let's go Taylor" I grab my jacket and head for the elevator with only one thing on my mind.

**A/N - A MEGA short chapter but this is to give you a taster of all the drama that is to come (: **

**And I'm sorry for the slight cliff hanger but I promise I won't keep you waiting for long…**

**(Again, please excuse any mistakes)**

**Please review (: xoxox**

**Visuals at - pinterest dot com / fifty shades 12 / forbidden lust (Remove spaces)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 - Could I be any more of an ass?**

**Christian****'****s POV**

"Taylor, I want you to shut this shit down. Get on the phone to the editor-in-chief at the _Nooz_ and ensure that this fucking article is removed" I bark from the back of the SUV, Taylor is driving us to Salon Seven on Pine Street where Sawyer is waiting with Ana.  
I am seething. Actually seething doesn't' even begin to cover how I am feeling right now. All I can think about is this fucking story and what it said, seeing the two of them in that picture together all fucking sunshine and smiles. I feel the bile rise in my throat when I echo the words in my head once more.

"_There wasn__'__t a day where we weren__'__t all over each other__"_

"_We would secretly meet at different spots on campus and have sex, the cafeteria, the bathrooms even the laundry room. It was so hot and she loved every minute of it__"_

"_I know what pushes her buttons better than anyone__"_

No fuck head you don't! If this little asshole thinks he knows _my _girlfriend better than me he has got another thing coming, I couldn't give a shit that he was with her for three years and that we only met not even two months ago, he doesn't know her like I do. He experienced, young, eighteen year old Ana who most probably didn't even know what she wanted from life, he doesn't know Ana now. My Ana.

When he said that he didn't think she would stay with me for very long because of my lifestyle I damn near stopped breathing, that hit a raw nerve. The details of their sex life being spread out in front of me made my stomach roil, I was seconds away from vomiting in my office when I read that but this, this made me feel even worse.  
I'm already petrified that I will lose Ana and it's only a matter of time before she realises what a mistake being with me was and leaves, but I'll be fucking damned if I lose her without putting up a fight, we have a lot of issues to work through and things are bad enough with having this Brody shit hanging over us but now I have to contend with this also, I phoned Sawyer and told him not to tell Ana about the article until I arrived, I don't want her reading this I know how much it will upset her, she will feel humiliated and exposed and I definitely don't want her to leave the salon without my protection with the amount of paparazzi that are camped outside.

As we turn into Pine Street we immediately come to a halt due to the press taking up the roads and the side walks, their flocking around the salon like a pack of blood thirsty hounds trying to get a shot of Ana, I can only imagine what she must be thinking right now. _"I know Ana and I know she isn't made for the lifestyle he can provide, it's only a matter of time before she throws in the towel and leaves" _Those damn words return to the forefront of my mind to haunt me, I feel my stomach muscles clenching, and twisting and I come over feverish all of a sudden, I yank my tie off completely and throw it onto the seat next to me.

When the media discovered our relationship three days ago, they have been following Anastasia's every move ever since, where she goes, what she wears, who she's with. Sawyer is not to leave her side under any circumstances when I am not with her, I don't even want her going to the grocery store down the road without security, I know how to deal with these bastards and I know how relentless they are when it comes to getting a money shot.

I can tell that Ana is overwhelmed with the amount of attention she is receiving right now and that only fuels my anxieties further, she's a twenty three year old woman that has been thrust into the limelight without warning or without desire, all she did was fall in love with me and now she has to face these dickheads every day. Her life will never be the same again now she is Christian Grey's girlfriend, even if she _does_ leave me she will always be under scrutiny from them simply because she has been associated with me. _I'll never let her leave me._

Taylor sounds the horn to get the fuckers to move out of the way but as soon as they recognise the car all hell breaks loose, they charge forward like a herd of elephants and barricade the car trying to get a picture of me but I know their actions are futile as the windows are heavily tinted and you can't see a thing looking in from the outside. This is absolutely fucking ridiculous, Anyone would think I was standing for election with the amount of attention I am receiving, but I know that they are all killing themselves to get a shot of my reaction, Ana is my first real girlfriend and the first woman that I have allowed myself to be photographed with, I even avoided the cameras when Macy attended the Coping Together after party so I know that this is like bringing home the bacon for them.

"Taylor stop the car, It will take fucking hours to move these vultures"

"Sir it's not safe to leave the car, I don't see how we can get Miss Steele to the car at this moment in time there are far too many people" Fuck I'm not waiting any longer, I need to get my girl out of here and back to Escala pronto.

"Have Sawyer meet us halfway then, I'm not waiting another minute"

As soon as I see the salon door open I am barrelling out of the car at lightening speed with Taylor next to me, Sawyer is holding Ana by the arm and I can't get to her fast enough, I can hear the shouts and screams from the crowds but I blank them out, I have to blank them out because when I hear one of them yell - _"__Who__'__s better in bed?!__"_I have to fight the urge to shove his fucking camera down his miserable throat.

Once I reach her I take the arm that Sawyer was holding and pretty much drag her back through the crowds, I catch her eye and she looks confused, scared and pissed off. So my guess is that she has already discovered the piece and knows everything.  
I turn to face her once we are in the confines of the car, she looks so fucking beautiful and I want nothing more than to pull her onto my lap and hold her, that must have been terrifying for her. They were practically on top of her whilst screaming obscenities in her direction and I pray to god that she didn't hear half of them.

But the asshole side of me refuses to even touch her, I can't even bring myself to _look_ at her in the eye for more than several seconds at a time, I know I shouldn't be angry at her but I am. I'm furious at her and I know it's pathetic and immature and the only reason I am so pissed off is because it reiterates the fact that she has had a life before me, when she told me about this prick in Paris I could feel my blood boil and my teeth clench , and then when we were at my parents house she said she had a lot of good times at college, _Yeah, she wasn't fucking kidding! _I can barely think about her being with Brody for too long but this is even worse, she was with this guy for three years so she must have had deep feelings for him, you don't stay in a three year relationship just for the sake of it.

"Escala Taylor" I divert my attention from my girlfriend to the window and gaze outside, I don't even know what to say right now. I feel like if I speak I will blow my top and say something I will really regret.

"Have you seen it?" I hear the soft voice from beside me and I can already hear the hurt underlying there.

"What do you think Ana, of course I've fucking seen it" See what I mean? _Asshole _

"Are you angry with me?" _No baby, I__'__m just a jealous dick head that can__'__t stand the thought of you with anyone else_

"I don't want to discuss this now Anastasia"

"Well I do Christian!" I see her shift in the corner of my eye so that she is facing me and I force myself to return the eye contact. She looks even more frustrated than she did before and I know I deserve a slap right now.

"I said not now Ana, wait until we get to Escala" She huffs and leans back into her seat, pouting as she folds her arms across her chest. She looks like a child being scolded right now but I know that I am the only one that is acting like the child.

As soon as Taylor parks the car in the garage I open Ana's door so she can climb out, I offer my hand to her based on good manners but she slaps it away and storms off in the direction of the elevator. She's pissed off. _Yeah, well so am I baby._

I punch in the code for my apartment and notice that Ana stands as far away from me as she possibly can, she still has her arms folded and that pout is as present as ever, I take in her outfit for the first time today as I know she returned to the apartment to change before her appointment with Olivia. She's wearing a white long sleeved sweater and a pair of tight leggings that showcase her amazing ass, those along with the brown heeled boots make her legs appear as if they are going on for fucking ever, and her hair looks amazing, I love it when she has it hanging loose like that I just want to run my fingers through it, she looks hotter than hell but I cant let that distract me. _Easier said than done._

The doors are barely open before she's taking off, I'm hot on her tail though, I'm not going to let her rule this one, there is a lot I want to say.

"Stop fucking stomping around like a child, it's starting to piss me off" I say as I shrug my jacket off and throw it onto the breakfast bar.

"I'm pissing you off? Oh how very sorry I am, I didn't realise _you_ were the one that just had to endure your name being dragged through the dirt you fucking ass hole" She reaches for the wine from inside the refrigerator and pours herself a very large glass before chugging half of it down in one go.

"I don't want a drink, thank you for asking" I mutter petulantly as I lean against the bar and watch her, she rolls her eyes and continues to gulp the wine, I would usually berate her for drinking this early in the day but after the afternoon she has had I cant really blame her, and I know I am just making things worse.

"Get your own, and when you do you can start explaining to me why you are so angry at me when I have done nothing wrong"

"I beg to differ Ana" I say without even realising, it's like I'm suffering from word vomit and I can't stop myself from spouting stupid shit like that, her eyes narrow at me as her glass halts in the air inches away from her lips.

"Excuse me? How the_ fuck _have you worked that one out exactly? I didn't ask him to contact the Nooz did I?" I pull the glass from her grasp and pour the remaining wine down the sink, slamming the glass on the draining board but carefully enough so I don't break it.

"He wouldn't have had a story to contact them with if it wasn't for you would he?" Her eyes widen and her jaw nearly hits the floor.

"Fuck you Christian! You are seriously blaming me for this? Our relationship ended years ago, you're acting like a real asshole right now you know"

"How do you expect me to react Ana? I have just had to read the most disgusting filth about _my_ girlfriend fucking guys in cloak room closets and bathrooms for the best part of three years, I'm sorry if I'm not exactly understanding right now"

"It was one guy Christian!" She holds her index finger up to prove her point "One guy that I was in a relationship with, you make me sound like a slut"

"Well if the cap fits" Ohhhh shit. I cannot believe I just said that, and judging by the aghast expression on her face neither can she, her face morphs from anger to hurt and back to anger again and I realise that I have just royally fucked up.

"What did you just say?" I don't answer her, I just lean against the sink as casual as possible when inside I am sweating profusely, I basically just called my girlfriend a slut. _What the fuck am I doing?_

"Answer me! What did you just say?"

"Ana, don't take that fucking tone with me"

"Don't take that tone! You have just called me a slut you son of a bitch, what the hell do you think you are playing at?!" She turns on her heel and I think she is going to walk away but she just runs her hand through her hair repeatedly and sighs exasperatedly.

"I did not call you a slut Ana stop being dramatic, and stop evading the truth. And what the _fuck _does that asshole mean when he says he has pictures of you?" I roar at her as I remember what he said, the image of Ana sending nude pictures to this prick invades my mind and I resist the overwhelming urge to drown my body weight in bourbon. She spins around and meets my scorching gaze.

"_That _wasn't true, I never sent him a picture of me once! He asked but I never did it, because deep down I didn't trust him, do you actually think that little of me?"

"It has nothing to do with what I think Ana it's what I read, do you really think that I want to stand here and re-hash your past like this, it makes me feel physically sick and all I want to do is get my hands on that little weasel and strangle the life out of him. You are _mine, _do you understand that?"

"Oh don't give me the 'You are mine' bullshit Christian, it's not like you are exactly a virgin, this could have been you in my position a thousand times over" She's not wrong, the difference is that I made my flings sign NDA's, not exactly the most romantic thing to do after sex but I didn't give a shit, I needed to protect myself and I couldn't risk one of them selling a story on me just for a hefty pay out. I never made Ana sign one, I didn't need to. I just trusted her straight away.

"Ana, I'm not trying to be a dick here but you have to see where I am coming from, this is going to reflect badly on me" You think that I would be able to stop myself but no, I just keep on digging this hole deeper and deeper. Anyone got a shovel?

"Are you ashamed of me?" Her eyes widen and I see the pang of hurt that flashes across her face and I immediately feel like a dick. Now she thinks that I am ashamed of her, on top of calling her a slut.

"No, that's not what I mean -"

"Well that's what it sounds like Christian, what are you worried about? That you're family will be disgusted with me, that the conceited, pretentious and egotistical assholes you work with will want nothing more to do with you?" She spits through clenched teeth and I know that I have pushed her too far. I take a step forward and reach my arm out to touch her but she yanks away from me, that hurt like a fucker but I try not to look affected, I know it's pointless though when I see a tear roll down her cheek, my heart breaks to see her cry because of me, not because of Brody or because of Adam but _me._

Baby, I'm sorry -" She cuts me off with her hand and glares at me, I decide to shut the fuck up before she rips my heart right out.

"Don't you fucking dare Grey, you think you can insult me like this and expect me to just get over it as soon as you decide to apologise, think again" She pivots on the spot and bends to pick up her purse before making a beeline for the elevator.

"Ana, where are you going?" I follow her and stand behind her as she stabs the call button with force.

"Away from you, don't call me or text me. Just stay away from me Christian" She says flatly as she steps inside the cart.

"Baby please, we need to talk about this"

"I was prepared to talk earlier but _you _didn't want to, remember? Now I don't want to talk. Leave me alone" The doors close and I can't even move a muscle to stop her, what does she mean _leave her alone? _Is this her walking away from me? From us? I wouldn't blame her, I have just acted like the worlds biggest insensitive asshole all because I can't control my jealousy issues.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Sawyer's speed dial.

"Miss Steele is leaving the penthouse, follow her" I don't even wait for a reply before I hang up, I'm guessing that she is heading to Kate's. I suddenly remember she has her interview tomorrow and I groan with frustration at myself, I have now pissed her off the day before she faces the biggest interview of her life, just another thing to add to my list of misdemeanours. _Perfect._

I pour myself a large glass of bourbon and head to my study, I fire up the Mac and type in _Seattle Nooz. _

The story is still there larger than life so I can only presume that Taylor is fighting tooth and nail to get it removed, I can't stop myself from re-reading it over and over again despite the lump forming in my throat as I do so, that picture of the two of them will be imprinted in my mind for years to come I just know it.

I cant take my eyes off of Ana, she looks young and happy and care free, she looks like your typical student, jeans and a tight fitting top with her hair hanging in messy waves, she looks exactly the same as she does now but just younger, her eyes are still that amazing shade of blue and I can see that she has always been blessed with a sexy and curvaceous figure, that fucker looks like the cat that got the cream with his filthy hands all over her, did they go back to her room that night and have sex?

Did he fuck her from behind?  
Did he fuck her up the wall so he could see her gorgeous tits bouncing in his face?  
Or even worse did he make love to her? Did he climb in between her legs and look into her eyes as she fell apart around him? _Fuckkkkkkkk! _

Before I know it, I have thrown the glass of bourbon across the room so it hit's the wall and smashes to smithereens on the floor, the amber liquid trickling down the wall.  
I stand and tug at the ends of my hair roughly whilst screwing my eyes shut, my breathing becomes ragged and laboured and I feel like my chest cavity is closing in on me, all of the emotions that I was feeling when I first read this filth return back to me at full force.

_She's mine, she's mine, she's mine. _

All I want to do is chase after her but the look on her face just before the elevator doors closed on her comes back to haunt me, she looked so desolate. Like I had just ripped her world from underneath her feet in two split seconds, not that far from the truth really.  
She is so precious to me, yet I treated her like a fling that I was ashamed of, I feel nauseous as I replay my words in my head. I didn't even give her a chance to explain herself before I jumped down her throat, blaming her and making her feel like shit. _I am one fucking asshole.  
_

I just need to find a way to apologise, I can't lose her over this.

**Anastasia's POV**

"Are you sure you want to go out tonight Ana? You don't look like you're in the mood" I step into my pumps and check my appearance in the mirror, going out is _exactly _what I want to do, I need to have a few drinks and dance my troubles away, I refuse to sit in and let Christian fucking Grey get to me. Not a chance in hell.

"For the last time Kate, _yes. _Since when have you ever passed up on an opportunity to get drunk?" She's sitting on the bed with her legs crossed, she's already dressed in her high waisted shorts and bandeau top but she's eyeing me with uncertainty and hesitation.

"I do when my best friend turns up at my apartment in floods of tears, unable to get a word in edgeways then not even three hours later demanding to go out"

"I was upset and now I'm not, you don't have to come with me you know. I will be fine with Olivia and Mia"

"No way Steele, I need to be there to look after you when you get emotional and reckless" She stands and straightens herself out, fluffing her blonde waves with the tips of her fingers.

"I will not get emotional and reckless Kate" She scoffs and pushes me out into the hallway.

"Whatever you say babe, lets have a drink" I giggle at her contradiction, one minute she's telling me its not a good idea then she's practically forcing drink down my throat.

I phoned Olivia and asked her to be here for nine thirty, typical Liv she didn't even question me. Just asked me what she needed to wear.

Kate asked me if I would mind Mia tagging along with us, she promised her a night out when we were at the Grey's for dinner and they exchanged numbers, I can't say that I really relish the thought of being around my asshole boyfriend's sister for the entire night but I really like Mia, she's sweet and adorable and you can't help but like her.

We've agreed to meet her at Trinity's later, I questioned if I wanted to go back there after all that place holds for me and Brody, but why should I stay away because of painful memories. Brody is in the past and I have to move on, I'm tiring of exes rearing their ugly heads and making themselves known to the point where I am ashamed of stepping foot inside.

"See this is what I mean Ana, every time I look at you you look like you're about to break down at any minute"

"After the day I have had Kate, I think I'm allowed to look a bit pissed off. I'm so humiliated"

"Ana, this is exactly the reaction this prick wanted from you, he wanted you to be bothered and upset why else would he send the story in?" Kate pours two shots of tequila and slices a lemon into two wedges.

"Money, revenge? Who knows. I didn't think he was capable of acting like such a selfish bastard, he was always so sweet when we were together"

"Yeah, until you dumped his ass and never wanted to see him again"

"Oh, thanks Kate. You sound like Christian" I pick up the shot and toss it back in one.

"Hey I didn't mean that, I just mean he is bitter. He lost an amazing, gorgeous catch like you, he is bound to be a bit put out" I roll my eyes and motion for her to pour me another drink. I don't care if I cheated on him with every guy on campus, that doesn't excuse his disgusting behaviour and the way he treated me, I have never felt so dirty and cheap in all my life.

"And as for Christian, I don't see how he can judge you after the amount of women he has screwed over the years"

"Once again, thank you Kate. A wonderful image you have painted for me right there" I swallow the burning liquid once more and slam the glass back on the bar, It's my interview tomorrow morning and I don't want to be hung over but my best friend is really throwing them at me tonight.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really helping am I?"

"No it's fine, you're only saying what I am thinking. He really hurt me tonight Kate" I drop my head to my palm and massage my temples, I haven't been able to get Christian's words out of my head since I walked out on him, he looked at me like I disgusted him, and he has never once spoken to me like that before, I felt like a whore in front of my own boyfriend and that isn't easy to forget.

"I know babe" Kate stretches her hand across the bar and caresses my arm softly "But you need to forget about him tonight okay?" I nod softly and try to attempt a smile, no doubt it looked more like I was constipated but it's a start.

* * *

Olivia bounces through the apartment half an hour later looking as beautiful as always, why this girl is still single astounds me.

"Wow, Ana you look seriously hot!" She eyes me up and down and grins when she takes in my outfit, I'm wearing a backless, black and gold sequined long sleeved dress, and I will be the first to admit how indecent it is. It barely covers my ass but I don't care, I purposely chose this dress because somehow I know it will get back to Christian and he will be pissed. Good, he deserves it.

"Is it too slutty?" I already feel like I am starting to slur my words and I know I need to drink some water before we leave, I don't want to get drunk I just want to dance.

"Shut up, you look so sexy it's unreal! Now, where's my drink" She spins on her heel and struts towards the kitchen I search for alcohol, hitting the jackpot when she opens the lower cupboard in the corner.

"Right girls, we need to make a pact. No guy talk tonight, no Christian, no Elliot, no _Blake_" Kate looks directly at Olivia who just rolls her eyes and continues to blend together what looks like arsenic.

"I agree!" I raise my glass in the air as a salute and drain the remainder of wine, I feel my phone buzz from the spot on the couch next to me, I pick it up and see that it's a text from Christian.

_**Sawyer tells me you're going out. Please come home so we can talk**_

Pfft! Fat chance of that happening Grey, you can't just click your fingers this time.

_**No. As you have just said, I'm going out. **_

Not even one minute later my phone alerts me to his reply.

_**You have your interview in the morning, you don't want a hangover on the most important day of your life.**_

Patronising ass!

_**Not that it is any of your business, but I don't intend on drinking much. I'm not an idiot. Now please leave me alone.**_

I stash my cell back into my clutch and toss it on the sofa without even bothering to wait for his reply, he can wait.

"I hope that wasn't a guy Anastasia Rose Steele!" Kate yells at me as she stands to her feet, I note that it's with a slight wobble.

"Just getting rid of him for the night, now lets drink whatever shit Olivia is making and get out of here"

* * *

"Arghhhhhh you all look so amazing!" I once again catch an exuberant Mia before she sends me on my ass once we walk into the entrance of Trinity, the club is as heaving as always and I can already feel my feet beginning to itch, I can't wait to dance.

"So do you! Mia this is Olivia, Kate and I's best friend!" I shout over the music and pull Olivia alongside me so that I can introduce her.  
We manoeuvre ourselves through the crowds and spot an empty booth in the far corner of the bar, I order a pitcher of water with my wine so that I can alternate between the two, I have waited what feels like a lifetime for this shot and I don't want to mess it up by being a rotten mess.

"Are you okay? I spoke to Christian before I came out and he sounded like shit, I get the impression that you two have had some sort of fight" I'm confused, has Mia not seen the Nooz website today?

"Have you not seen it?" She sips her wine and tilts her head before turning to face me.

"I heard about the article if that's what you mean, but I haven't read it. My friend Lily told me about it and tried to tell me what it said but I didn't want to know, it's none of my business Ana and I don't want you to think I am nosey" I cant help but tear up as she speaks, even though the music is blaring I can still hear her soft tone and it soothes me no end, this is what I wanted Christian to say to me earlier. I wanted him to understand and not judge me, instead he berates me like a child and makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you" Mia pulls me into a hug and that's when I realise that I am crying, fuck I haven't even been here ten minutes yet!

"You haven't! You've done anything but Mia, thank you for understanding" She gently wipes my eyes and smiles at me.

"Hey, we've all had disgruntled exes in our time. Some of them are just bigger pricks than others!" I cant help but laugh, that is the perfect way of putting it.

"You okay Steele?" Kate asks as she sits beside me, she knows I've been crying. She always knows.

"I'm fine, I just had a minute!"

"And don't worry about my brother, I know better than anyone how he can be, he doesn't think before he speaks!" You're telling me!

"Hey, we said no guy talk remember!"

"I know, I know. I'm just being silly I'm sorry" I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath.

"That's my girl, I have something that will cheer you up"

"What?"

"Elliot fired Cassidy" She beams and I can tell straight away how happy this makes her, I don't blame her. I wouldn't want my boyfriend working with someone he used to fuck either.

"Why?"

"He didn't really elaborate, he just said that she wasn't working out anymore. I'm just happy she has gone"

"Cassidy? Elliot's assistant?" Mia asks as she sips her wine, reclining back into the booth sofa and crossing her legs.

"Yeah, the slutty assistant that had no fucking morals" Kate seethes as she twirls her hair around her finger.

"I heard she got fired because she was into drugs" What?!

"Where did you hear that?" Kate shoots up and practically knocks me out as she tries to get closer to Mia.

"I overheard Elliot talking to my Dad last night, he said she got her ass involved with drugs and became unreliable" Mia shrugs her shoulders like it's no big deal. This is huge!

"Why didn't Elliot tell me that?"

"Because he probably doesn't want to talk about her to you Kate, he knows you're not her biggest fan" She scoffs and nods her head.

"True, but oh my god! I knew she was a skank but drugs! That girl seriously has no class!" Here, here.

"Tequilaaaaaaaaaaa!" Olivia sings as she approaches the table with a tray full of shots. Oh fuck, I think I'm gunna' need another water pitcher.

**Christian's POV**

"What is she doing now Sawyer?" I bark down the phone, I have been getting hourly reports from Sawyer about Ana now I know she is at the club, I'm going crazy holed up here not knowing what she is doing.

"She's dancing with her friends Sir" _Dancing. _My mind flits back to the first night I met, her when I watched her dancing with Olivia and Kate from the overhead balcony, she looked so alluring and sexy moving to the music and I knew right there and then that she was going to be trouble. I know all the assholes will be eye fucking her within an inch of her life and that only pisses me off further, I'm not there to protect her and it's driving me insane.

"Don't let her out of your sight. Is she drunk?"

"She doesn't appear to be Sir, she has been drinking water at regular intervals" _That's my girl._

"Good. Don't let her drink much more. Keep me informed" I hang up and swallow the remainder of the bourbon, I have drank far more than I usually do but right now I need it, it's numbing and I couldn't be numb enough at this moment in time.

Mia sent me a picture of Ana posing with Kate and Olivia and my heart stopped beating. She looked so fucking amazing in that dress I nearly stopped breathing, once I had gotten over the shock rage bubbled up inside me. I could practically see her fucking underwear it was that short, I don't doubt for a minute that she has done this to piss me off, she knows Sawyer will be reporting back to me but I don't think she was betting on Mia ratting her out. Well, to be fair she didn't rat her out she was more like showing me what an amazing thing I had. The picture came attached with a message -

_**Don't be an asshole. Make this right**_

I know I'm being an asshole but I don't _know _how to make it right. She has every right to pissed at me, I hurt her and I insulted her beyond belief. But I fucking hate not having control over this situation right now.

Taylor demanded that the article was to be removed from the website which of course caused an uproar. The pricks demanded twenty thousand dollars as the story had already been released, _well no fucking shit Sherlock!  
_I would have paid any amount of money to ensure that this god damn piece was taken down, twenty thousand dollars means nothing to me where as my girl's reputation means everything.  
I want to text her and tell her but she told me to leave her alone, now usually I would laugh and march over to her apartment, throw her over my shoulder and bring her back here, demanding that she talk to me and stop dismissing me. But I'm scared if I do that I will push her away for good.

So I'll just wait, and wait, and wait. Until I can sort this shit out once and for all and get my girlfriend back.

* * *

"I won't lie to you Christian, you acted like a real jackass" Elliot kicks his legs up and sprawls out all over my couch, leaning his head on his elbow and taking a swig of his beer.

"I fucking know Elliot you don't have to tell me that"

"I'm sorry but seriously, what _were _you thinking? How do you think she would have felt if it was one of your bimbos writing into that trashy rag. Something tells me that she wouldn't have blown her top like you did" I will seriously hit this dick in the minute, I thought he was here to make me feel better?

"Elliot, this woman makes me practically insane with jealousy, I can't even stand it when men so much as look at her, reading this was like a punch in the gut. It doesn't exactly leave a lot to the imagination" He looks at me and nods like he understands, not that he does. Him and Kate have been openly fucking other people for along as they have known each other, I know my Brother loves her but he will never feel the possessiveness that I feel for Ana, she's mine and only mine. No one can have her.

"I get it bro, but there are better ways of going about it. I mean _Christ _calling her a slut?" Elliot whistles through his teeth as I shake my head. Not one of my finest moments.

"I didn't actually call her that"

"You said, 'if the cap fits' that's basically saying "Hey, you said it sweetheart but I'm not going to disagree with you" He's right, of course he's fucking right. I was a royal dickhead and I have some serious ass kissing to do.

"Alright shut up, you're not helping here you're just making things worse" I pick the corner of the sticker on my beer bottle mindlessly. I should be making love to my girlfriend right now, but instead I'm sat here with this baboon drowning my sorrows.

"Okay let's talk about more pressing matters then. Brody for example" I roll my eyes and groan, I really didn't want to think about my former best friend turned drug addict right now.

"What about him?"

"What's he doing? You still got your guys on him?"

"Of course, he hasn't been seen near Cassidy's apartment but there have been a number of different people coming and going from his place. It doesn't take a genius to guess what they're doing there" Elliot sits up and slams his bottle down on the coffee table.

"Fuck, so that means he is still snorting that shit. Fuck Christian why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you would act like this, what did you really expect though Elliot? It's not like he would just stop just because you took away his primary source from him. There are other ways" I say flatly but inside I'm breaking in two, I was really hoping that this would be a one off and that he would knock it on the head. Turns out I was wrong.

"Well we need to pull our fingers out of our fucking asses and do something, he needs our help" Elliot is glaring at me like I am the one to blame.

"Don't look at me like that, I have already told you that we have to tread carefully with this, we can't ambush him"

"I'm starting to get past the caring stage now Christian, I don't want to wait anymore, it could be too late before we decide to finally do something"

"This isn't about you Elliot, Ana needs to know before we do anything" I have come to the realisation that Ana has a right to know, I am still refusing to let her anywhere near him but she should still know. As much as it sickens me to say it, he was her boyfriend at one point.

"Well can you get a fucking jolly on with that please, the quicker Ana knows the quicker we can take action" I am about to reply when I am interrupted by my phone ringing, it's Sawyer.

"What's happening? Is she okay?"

"Sir, I think you should know that I have just dropped Miss Steele and her friends off at her apartment. Davenport is driving Miss Grey back to Bellevue"

"Is she okay?" Sawyer pauses and I start to panic.

"I have advised her to drink plenty of water, she should be fine" Fuck, so that means she's drunk.

"What about her friends?"

"Slightly worse for wear Sir" I am already pulling my leather jacket on and searching for my keys, I need to go and check on her, if she's drunk she needs Advil and water. And by the sounds of it Kate and Olivia are in no fit state to look after her.

"I'm on my way, stay stationed outside until I arrive" I hang up and pull my shoes on.

"What's wrong, where are you going?" Elliot asks from his spot on the couch.

"Kate's. They're all smashed so I'm going round there. You coming?" He doesn't answer me he just follows me to the elevator and steps in with me.

Once I pull up outside I instruct Sawyer to head back to Escala, I tell him that I will be staying the night so he doesn't need to stay. That is if Ana even lets me stay, I really haven't thought this through properly.  
We both walk to the door and I knock firmly three times, if they were asleep that was bound to have woken them up.  
Kate answers looking like pure shit, her hair is all over the place and her face resembles a panda, her mascara smudged all the way down to her cheeks.

"You okay babe?" Elliot asks as he leans against the door frame.

"You fucking woke me up so no. What do you want?"

"Where's Ana?" I don't piss about getting to the point.

"She's changing, why are _you_ here?" She narrows her gaze at me and if looks could kill I would be dead right now.

"I need to see her, so are you going to let us in?"

She sighs and spins on her heel, marching off in the direction of Ana's room and banging loudly on the door before disappearing into her own room with Elliot following. I notice that Olivia is passed out on the couch, still in her barely there outfit complete with sky high heels, I actually bend down to check she is still breathing because she looks like a corpse right now.

"She's fine, she always looks like that after too much to drink" My head snaps up as I hear the angelic voice from beside me, angelic but tinged with malice.

_Fuck! _She's standing in the middle of the room dressed in her pyjamas, a black silk cami set with shorts that accentuate her perfect legs, I can see the swell of her breasts and her nipples are slightly peeking through the thin material of the top, I feel my cock come to life but I will it to stay down. I don't think she will appreciate any horny advances from me right now.

Her hair is still hanging in loose waves and she hasn't got a spec of make up on, she must have been getting ready for bed and she looks so incredibly beautiful. This is when I crave her the most, when she is natural and vulnerable to me, she is such a natural beauty and there's nothing I love more than seeing her soft, creamy skin on show just for me.

"Ana…" I can't even string a sentence together right now, I thought I would have this all figured out but I don't. She has her arms folded and her whole posture screams closed and cold, she is looking at me without breaking eye contact but her eyes look so lifeless, she isn't looking at me like I am her sole reason for breathing, she is looking at me with disappointment and discontent.

"If you have came here to apologise you can save it, I don't want to hear it" She breezes past me and makes her way to the kitchen, opening the cupboard and standing on her tip toes to reach for what likes the Advil.

I try, I _really _try to not look at her ass but it's damn near impossible when she is leaning like that, I can see the curve of her cheeks and I have to close my eyes and turn my head just to break the trance that she puts me in.

"I have come here to apologise actually, Ana I'm so sorry. I should have never spoken to you the way I did. I was just angry and you took the brunt of it" She turns and leans against the counter as she swallows the pills with a glass of water, at least she doesn't look too drunk.

"Do you have any idea how much you hurt me Christian?" She says so softly that I barely hear her, my stomach drops. I know I hurt her.

"I'm so sorry baby, I've been an ass I know that. I don't blame you if you hate me right now" I say as I hang my head in shame, I hear her scoff and the snort of a giggle.

"I don't hate you, you idiot. I just don't like you very much right now, you were so horrible to me today"

"I know, I just couldn't control myself and I will never forgive myself for the things that I said to you, you didn't deserve the awful things I said"

"No I didn't" She sighs again and rubs her temples with her fingers "I'm tired Christian, can we talk about this in the morning please" She doesn't give me a chance to answer, she walks to her bedroom and I give in to the urge to follow her.

"Ana, I think we should talk about this now don't you? We have a lot to discuss" She pulls back the bed covers and clambers in, leaning against the headboard and scrubbing her face against her hands.

"I'm too tired Christian, I drank more than I should have and I have my interview tomorrow, I just want to sleep" I stand awkwardly at the side of her bed not really knowing what to do, do I just leave?

"Are you going to stand there all night or are you coming to bed?" She says as she pulls back the other side of the sheet. She wants me to stay?

"What?"

"You heard me, are you coming or not?" She cocks her eyebrow at me. I hesitantly kick my shoes off and peel my jacket off, followed my by shirt and jeans until I am left in my boxers, I see her eyes rake me up and down but she quickly turns her head away, I smirk to myself. Even when she's angry she is still affected by me.  
I climb into bed as she shuffles down, turning onto her side and facing the opposite direction, it looks I am literally getting the cold shoulder then.  
I lie down and stare at the ceiling, she flicks the nightstand light off plunging the room into darkness, I can hear her heavy breathing and I know she is still awake. I carefully turn on to my side so I am facing her back and slowly place my hand on her arm, rubbing my thumbs in gentle circles.

"I'm so fucking sorry baby" I whisper in the dark. After what feels like an age I hear her soft reply.

"I know" She shifts slightly so that she is pressed into my chest and I take that as my cue, I wrap my arms around her warm body and pull her flush against me, I bury my nose in her hair and inhale her perfect scent.

"You're still an ass" I smile slightly as I didn't hear an ounce of contempt in that sentence.

"I know, such a fucking ass. I don't know why you put up with me"

"Because I love you. Even though you're an ass" I pull her even closer to me and hold her close to me, kissing her neck softly, I hear her breathing slow and I know that she is moments away from falling asleep.

"I love you too, sleep now baby"

**A/N - I'm so sorry for the wait! Life caught up with me!**

**So don't think that Ana has forgiven Christian because she hasn't, she has just thawed a bit.**

**Coming up - Ana's interview with SIP, the article fall out continued, and more Brody Drama - I think it's time for that to heat up don't you? ;)**

**Visuals at** **pinteres**tdot**com / fifty shades 12 / forbidden lust (Remove spaces) **

**I will also be answering reviews in the next chapter, I have just had no time to do so yet! Please review x**

**(All mistakes are mine)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 - Confessions**

**Anastasia****'****s POV**

Once again I wake feeling warm. Christian has his head resting on my chest, his right leg is intertwined with mine and his hand is firmly grasping my breast, even in his sleep he's groping me. The first thing I do is pick up his hand and move it away from my nipple, I may have invited him into my bed last night but I did not give him permission to fondle me, I am nowhere _near _ready for his touch just yet.

When he showed up here last night looking like a little lost puppy I crumbled, I was, and still am so angry with him but I didn't have the heart to kick him out after his half assed attempt at an apology, I have no doubt in my mind that he will wake up and expect me to be okay with him but that I cannot do, he needs to show me just how sorry he is otherwise I am out the door. Or in this case he is out the door.

Luckily he doesn't stir when I pull away from him, causing his head to drop onto the pillow slightly. I creep out of bed as quietly as I can and shrug my black, silk robe on and head to the bathroom down the hall, I lean my ear against Kate's bedroom door as I walk past but don't hear a peep. Thank god, I don't think I could stomach the sound of her and Elliot having sex this early in the morning, they are _so loud. _I know I'm not exactly quiet but fuck are they loud.  
Once I relieve myself I head to the kitchen to make a start on breakfast, no doubt everyone is gunna' be in need for something greasy and high in fat this morning. Me especially. I feel light headed and wobbly on my feet and it takes me a few seconds to co-ordinate myself. I nearly jump out of my skin when I see Olivia sprawled out on the couch in the lounge, _fuck I forgot she was here. _I bend down and gently poke her with my index finger, nothing. She looks like a lifeless rag doll with her mouth agape and her eyes closed, I can see why Christian checked to see if she was still breathing last night.

"Oliviaaaaaa" I sing into her ear and laugh as her hand flies up to swat me away "OLIVIA WAKE UP!" I bellow this time and crease myself laughing when she jumps up like I have just thrown freezing cold water over her, whipping her head around the room with wide eyes, when she sees me next to her bent over whilst clutching my stomach she groans and flops back down, throwing her arm over her eyes.

"Anastasia! That was not nice" She rolls on to her side obviously forgetting she is on our couch and nearly comes flying off the edge but catches herself just in time, once I'm in the kitchen I fill the kettle with water and flick it on.

"I'm sorry babe, I couldn't resist"

"Yeah, whatever" She mutters as she turns her head into the sofa.

"I don't know about you, but I am in desperate need for a strong, black coffee" God am I in need, my head feels like a shed and my mouth is as dry as the Sahara Desert, _why did I have that last tequila shot?_

"Make mine extra strong, don't use that decaffeinated shit either my body _needs _caffeine! What the _hell _did we drink last night?" I try to remember as I pull out five mugs from the overhead cupboard.

"I know that we had wine, and I _know _there was tequila. As for the rest of it, it's all as foggy for me as it for you" Even though we drank the same amount, I know Olivia, Kate and Mia will be feeling ten times rougher than me because I drank at least two pitchers of water. I dread to think what state I would have been in if I didn't.

"Are you making breakfast too?" Olivia groans as she drags her hung over ass to the breakfast bar, she is still in her mini dress and her hair has fallen from the bun she had at the nape of her neck last night, her fuchsia pink lip stain has smeared and is half way across her cheek and her eyes are ringed with mascara and eye kohl. She looks a fright.

"Yeah what do you fancy?" Opening the fridge door I call out whatever I can see that at least looks edible "Eggs, bacon, cheese, bagels, some weird milk, carton crap that looks like it has been here decades - I'll do bacon and eggs, I'm sure the boys will appreciate that more"

"Boys? What boys?" She screeches, as if she has just discovered they spread cooties.

"Christian and Elliot"

"They're here?" She whispers and points her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the bedrooms.

"Yeah, but you don't have to whisper you know" I mock whisper her back and she rolls her eyes at me as I laugh at her.

"Why are they here? Especially Christian"

"They turned up last night and ended up staying" I shrug my shoulders and try to act nonchalant but Olivia isn't buying it.

"Have you two made up?" I stir the coffees as I pour the water into the mugs and try to think how to answer that question.

"No not exactly, I let him hold me in bed but that was it. We didn't really talk much, he said he was sorry a thousand times over and I brushed him off and told him I wanted to go to sleep" Olivia blows on her coffee before taking a sip whilst eyeing me the whole time.

"Do you believe him?"

"When he said he was sorry?" She nods.

"Kind of, he _looked _sorryand I know that he regretted his actions but it will take more than a few pretty words to fix this one, he was vile to me and I haven't forgotten the things he said, not by a long shot"

"At least he has apologised, most men don't even know what the word sorry is"

"He was still an ass" I rinse the spoon and drop it into the sink "Take these to Kate and Ell will you babe, I will go and rouse my idiot of a boyfriend" She looks at me like I smell of something disgusting, like vomit or horse excrement.

"What if they're _naked, _and you know…" I shake my head like I don't understand what she means trying my hardest not to break into a fit of laughter at her horrified expression "_You _know…"

"What, bonking?" Her eyes widen and she nods her head making me lose the fight, if you didn't know this girl you would seriously think she has never had sex before, she talks about like it's the plague "You are priceless Liv, don't worry they wont be, I already tried to hear out for that this morning and there was no sign of life let alone anything else"

"Thank god! They shouldn't be doing that when we have company anyway, I'm glad you and Christian are arguing because there is _no _way I could handle all four of you going at it"

"Well I'm pleased my current predicament has benefited you Olivia, go on you'll be fine" I leave her looking revolted as she stares at the two cups on the breakfast bar like they hold the key. Jesus Christ.

Christian is still sleeping when I enter the bedroom again, he is laying on his stomach with his head turned to the side. The sheet is covering his boxer clad ass and on a normal day I would be ripping it away and diving straight in there, but this is not a normal day. I'm still pissed.

"Christian" I perch on the bed next to him and gently nudge him with my hand, he shifts but doesn't wake "Christian, wake up" I move the coffee closer to his nose hoping that the scent will rouse him and it does. He turns his head and groans groggily, anyone would think that he had been the one drinking till all hours judging by the state he is in this morning.

"Morning" I say softly as he opens his eyes and looks at me, he looks confused for a few seconds and I know that he is most probably dubious of how I am going to be with him, he should be worried.

"Morning" He replies gruffly and stretches slightly as he sits up and leans against the head board, his chiselled pecks and abs rippling with the movement of his body and damn if he doesn't look good right now, I hate that he has this affect on me and I _hate _that he knows it.

"Here, I made you this. Thought you might need it" I shyly hand him the mug and look down at my knees when he takes it from me, I can feel his eyes on me and I cant help but feel awkward, it feels like we have just had a one night stand and we are now in that complex 'morning after' phase where neither of us know what the hell to say to each other.

"Thank you. Are you okay?" He asks quietly as he sips his drink.

"Yeah fine, I'm not hung over if that's what you think" I know that sounded petulant and snappy even to my ears but I cant help it.

"That wasn't what I was implying at all actually, I was just asking if you were alright" I turn my head to look at him and are met with the exact same lost, puppy dog eyes that he had last night. The eyes that I couldn't say no to.

"Sorry, I'm just tired. I didn't mean to snap" I feel his free hand reach for mine and I yank away instantly, I daren't even look up right now because I know that he will be hurt and wounded that I have just pulled away from him but it was an instant reaction. I just don't want to feel his hands on me right now, I cant handle it.

"Baby, -"

"I'm making breakfast" I cut him off by standing to my feet and wrapping my robe around me tighter "Are you joining us?"

"Yeah sure, I'll be out soon" He looks like he wants to say something else to me but decides against it, I hate seeing him looking so hurt and upset but I don't know what else to do, at least he knows what it feels like to receive the cold shoulder now when you need someone the most.  
I find Olivia sat in the same spot where I left her, but the mugs are now gone so she must have taken them to the dreaded sex room.

"So, were they naked?" I say with a smirk as she lifts her head from where it was resting against her palm.

"No. Kate still had her clothes on from last night, I think you were the only one that managed to change" I hand her two Advil's and she snatches them from me like a child that has just spotted candy.

"That's because I was drinking water, you should try it some time"

"Only because you have your interview today, you usually hammer it along with the rest of us, how are you feeling about that by the way? Are you nervous?" I prepare the pans and place the bacon rashers in before turning my attention back to Olivia.

"A little, I just don't want to mess it up. What if I say something stupid or my mind goes blank? God that's my worst nightmare"

"You will be amazing I know you will, you have waited so long for this chance Anastasia Steele, don't let your nerves get the better of you"

"I promise I won't. Anyway, what's going on with you and Blake?" Her head snaps up in my direction.

"Why do you and Kate think there is something going on with us?" She almost looks affronted.

"Because we know you Olivia, you make out that you're not interested in him but it's bull shit, why don't you just admit it?" Her head drops into her hand as she closes her eyes.

"Oh Ana I don't know what to do, it's just, he's _Blake_. I know we have only just met him but we've all heard about his reputation, he's not exactly marriage material is he?" I turn the heat down on the stove and lean against the counter, I look intently at my friend and try to gage what she is thinking, is that what she is worried about?

"Liv, Blake may have had a colourful past but who hasn't? You can't judge him on the way he used to live his life that's not fair, if I judged Christian on his past I wouldn't even be with him!" I remember when Elliot and Brody used to talk about Christian before I knew him, it was always 'my brother the player' this or 'my best friend the man whore' that, despite us never really speaking about it, I know that he has had his fair share of sex, he's so hot and gorgeous it doesn't even surprise me. Then there's me, I have only had sex with four people in my whole life, one of them is my current boyfriend and yet _I _am the one that has been slated in the media, I have been branded some kind of exhibitionist slut when that couldn't have been further from the truth.

"I know what you're saying Ana, I just don't know if I could handle being with someone that has that sort of past, I'm not strong or thick skinned like you and Kate, I'm sensitive and pathetic" I take two steps closer to her and tuck a tendril of hair behind her ear.

"You are not pathetic Olivia, you are sweet and kind and beautiful, Blake would be a lucky bastard to have you on his arm and don't you forget it" She lifts her make-up smeared face and forces out a small smile before leaning her head on my shoulder. I know there are more issues here deep down but I decide not to push it, I think she's slightly insecure and unsure of her abilities to satisfy Blake but that's ridiculous, even sat here right now she looks so incredibly beautiful. I will have to talk to Kate about this, it sounds like we need to stage an intervention, and soon.

* * *

Christian emerges from the bedroom just as I am plating up the food, Kate and Olivia have finally showered and look a little more human than they did half an hour ago and are lounged on the couch with their eyes closed. I seriously don't think they will even be able to keep this breakfast down.

"Looks good baby" Christian whispers into my ear making me shiver, I feel his lips linger against my cheek and my eyes involuntarily flutter closed, I haven't kissed him in over twenty four hours and I'm starting to feel it, I desperately want to turn my head and meld my lips with his, but I can't. He pulls away after planting a swift peck on my cheek and pulls out the stool next to Elliot.

"Guys, food!" I holler over to the two hang over twins but they don't even make an effort to move. Breakfast for three then.

"What time is your interview Ana?" Elliot asks he dives in, practically inhaling the bacon.

"11.30" Christian tentatively wraps his hand around mine, and this time I don't pull away from him. He squeezes gently and I offer him a shy smile, I don't want to fight with him, but we have a lot to talk about before I brush this under the carpet once and for all.

"You'll do amazing baby"

"Thank you, I'll try my best" He releases my hand and gently brushes the back of his knuckles against my cheek while looking into my eyes, I know he's imploring me to forgive him but that's easier said than done, it might sound harsh but I want him to be scared. I want him to be scared of losing me so that he never pulls a stunt like this again.

"I have a bone to pick with you Elliot Grey" I decide to change the subject, and besides I really want to know about this.

"Oh yeah? What's that little lady?" I lift my glass of juice to my lips and take a welcoming sip, my mouth is finally beginning to feel like normal again.

"Why did you fire Cassidy?" Elliot pauses mid chew and I notice that Christian tenses too.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Just something that I heard that's all, so come on tell me what happened?" The two of them exchange glances at each other and Elliot cocks his eyebrow at Christian. Are they forgetting that I am still in the room or something?

"What did you hear baby?"

"That she has got herself into trouble with drugs. Is that true?" Christian closes his eyes and holds the bridge of his nose in between his thumb and index finger, why the hell does he look like I have just told him his dog has died? And why does he clearly already know about this?

"Yeah, that's true Ana, I found out that she was taking cocaine so I was left with no other choice but to fire her, she was unreliable"

"Cocaine?!" I squeal loud enough that I make Olivia jump in her sleep "Christ that's a bit heavy isn't it? I thought you were going to say marijuana or something, shit how did she get into _that?__"_Elliot stares at his half full plate and when I look at Christian he looks pig sick as he chews on his thumb nail. Something I notice he only does when he's really nervous.

"What's wrong?" I place my hand on his bicep and squeeze gently, something's bothering him and I don't like the uneasy feeling that is washing over me all of a sudden.

"Nothing baby, it's nothing for you to worry about" Well that didn't exactly answer the question.

"Christian, why do I get the feeling that you are keeping something from me?" Elliot nudges his shoulder and nods his head in my direction, silently telling Christian something that I am clearly in the dark on. When he looks back at me his entire demeanour has changed, he now looks lean and strong. Like he has convinced himself that he is in total control of this situation. Whatever this situation is.

"I do have something to tell you baby, but I don't want to tell you before your interview. Come to Escala afterwards then we can talk okay?" A cold chill runs through my body and I cant help but feel worried? How did we go from talking about Cassidy to this? Has this got something to with Cassidy? Has Christian been involved with her before? Jesus Christ has he screwed her?!

"Christian, if you tell me that you have slept with that filthy whore I swear I will rip your dick off and make you eat it are we clear?" I spit through gritted teeth and realise that I have a fistful of his shirt in my hand and am only mere inches away from his face, whilst I am practically laying on top of the breakfast bar.

"Fuck no of course not! I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole she makes my skin crawl!" I can see in his eyes that he is telling the truth, once I am satisfied that he is I slowly let go of his shirt and lean back in my chair. I know I just looked like a crazy woman but I don't care, she is a skank and the thought of her with my man makes me become unglued. I see Elliot looking sheepish in the corner of my eye, and I don't know if that's because _he _has been stupid enough to sleep with Cassidy or because of something else entirely.

"Good. What's so bad that you can't tell me now?"

"I didn't say it was bad did I? I just said that I don't want to tell you now. You need to focus on today and I don't want anything tainting your chances. I promise I will tell you everything later" He interlaces his fingers with mine and presses a soft kiss to my palm. I don't like this, I don't fucking like this one bit but I know he wont tell me right at this moment in time.

"Fine okay, you better tell me everything later Grey or else there _will _be trouble" I see a ghost of a smile appear at the side of his mouth but it goes as quick as it comes, whatever this is I know it's bothering him and I hate it. He seriously needs to start communicating with me better, I want to help him and what upsets him upsets me, if this relationship is going to work we need to start talking through our problems like adults. Something that we are not doing so great with at the minute.

* * *

Seattle Independent Publishing is a small, unconventional company, and I knew as soon as I walked in, that I wanted to be a part of it.  
I'm sat on one of the plush, deep red couches in the far corner of the reception area taking in my surroundings while I bounce my leg in agitation. The whole place screams 'charm' and 'character' and unlike the other houses I looked into, this one seems to be so relaxed and tranquil. Several members of staff pass me by as they walk through the lobby, and the first thing I notice is their state of dress. The women are dressed much like me, fitted shirt and pencil skirts, but the men are much more casual than I thought they would be. Dark jeans and tee shirts, I spot the odd suit but even then they are worn without ties or jackets. I find that endearing. Head office clearly don't mind how their staff dress, it's a calming thought and I find myself smiling inwardly. One thing I cannot stand, is companies that are so far up their own asses, employees that strut around the place like they are superior. Just because they are dressed in designer threads? I don't think so.

"Anastasia Steele?" A middle aged woman with long and wavy red hair calls my name from beside the reception desk, she smiles kindly at me as I stand to my feet and try my hardest to look strong and confident, when inside I am feeling anything but "Miss Steele, I'm Allyson Harding, Head of Human resources here. A pleasure to meet you" I'm knocked off guard by her polite and welcoming manner, usually they look you up and down like you are unworthy of their presence and as if they _want _you to mess up. This woman is a refreshing change.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too" I take her proffered hand and shake firmly, before she leads me to an office situated at the bottom of a long and narrow corridor.

"Please, take a seat Anastasia. Do you mind if I call you Anastasia?"

"Oh no, of course not. In fact, call me Ana" She's making me feel so relaxed and at ease and my anxiety ebbs away almost instantly, her office is a generous size. Her desk has several papers stacked into piles and the whole room oozes warmth.

"So, first things first Ana. We're looking for an editorial assistant to be based in our non fiction division here, the job description consists of performing a range of administrative and editorial tasks - Organising and researching projects, correcting manuscripts, working alongside future commissioning editors, supporting editorial staff and liaising with other writers, printers, illustrators among others. Does that sound like something you would be interested in?" I can't stop the grin from spreading across my face, just hearing her describe what could be my job gives me butterflies.

"Absolutely" She smiles brightly when she hears my response and turns her attention to what looks like my resume.

"You're resume is extremely impressive Ana, you come highly recommended by your former lecturers at WSU. I have to ask though, why Nordstrom? You have an outstanding GPA, why did you not follow a career in Publishing as soon as you graduated?" She asks softly as she leans back in her chair and tilts her head at me. Strangely enough I don't feel intimidated by her question, I knew it was coming and I know that I have to be honest, I am not looking for sympathy but I decide to just go all out and tell her exactly what happened. I clear my throat.

"Two days after my graduation ceremony, I received a call from Mason General Hospital. My father had been taken ill and I had to leave Vancouver to get to him, my original plan was to move here to Seattle and apply for internships, but I had to take care of my dad and I ended up staying in Montesano with him for two months until he was back on his feet, as soon as he was better he tried to get me to go home and I quote "get on with my life " but I was too scared to leave him and by the time I eventually returned home I had just lost my. . . Flow I guess. I followed through with my plan and moved here, but as for finding a job in publishing it just didn't happen. I knew I needed to find a job to get by and that's when I applied for Nordstrom, it was mind numbingly boring and if it wasn't for my best friend who I worked with keeping me sane, I would have resigned after a week" She lets out a small laugh and I surprise myself with how forthcoming I am being with this information.

"I admire your honesty Ana, that must have been tough. Having to deal with that at such a young age, do you have any siblings?" She's now sat up straight in her chair, her elbows leaning at the edge of her desk and twiddling with a pen in her hand as she gazes at me intently.

"No, it's just me. But we managed fine, my Aunt came to help out for a month so I wasn't totally alone. It's safe to say my dad is ecstatic I am here today" I beam as I think about Ray's reaction when I told him about the interview, he never liked me working at Nordstrom, he has always said that I am wasted there and that they don't appreciate me. I can't deny the pressure that I feel to do well today and get this job, I have wanted to make my dad proud from day one and I _know_ that this would make him proud of me.

"That's great, so why SIP?" I present my well rehearsed speech not leaving one single detail out, I want her to know that I am so passionate about this career and I will do whatever it takes to work my way up and be the best that I can be. _I hate _that cliché, but right here in this moment it couldn't be more true.

"I love reading, it's as simple as that. I love stripping a story down to the basics and reading between the lines, trying to get into the mind of the author and decipher what they were thinking at the time of writing it, surrounding myself with manuscripts all day is my idea of heaven" She smiles as she scribbles down what I am saying onto her note pad, I don't think she has stopped smiling the whole time that I have been here.

She fires intellectual questions at me, and even though they are formal I feel so relaxed, I don't feel like I have to give stuffy and false replies because I am worried about what she might think of me, I even find myself asking _her _things. Where she grew up, where she studied, family life that kind of thing, I can't help myself and she doesn't seem to mind whatsoever she even tells me to call her Allyson. I'm surprised that she hasn't asked me about my boyfriend, she has surely read the press and seen my face plastered all over the media, that disgusting interview pops into my mind but I banish it away, she hasn't asked so she's clearly not interested. Good.

She tells me that if I am to be successful I will be working alongside editor Logan Chalmers, he has been an editor at SIP for five years and by the sounds of it he has a lot of experience under his belt, my first train of thought is Christian, and what he would think when I tell him that my boss will be a man. He will just have to get over it.

"I have no further questions for you Ana, do you have anything else you would like to ask me?"

"No, thank you. How soon do you need someone to start?"

"We will be contacting the successful applicant over the next two days, so preferably at the end of the week, would that work for you?"

"That's fine" I smile brightly as I straighten my shoulders.

"Great, thank you for coming Ana, it was lovely meeting you" She stands to her feet, straightening out her maxi dress as she goes, who would ever put the head of human resources in a maxi dress? Not me. But yet, I love it.

"Thank you Allyson" I shake her hand and bend to pick up my purse, I walk back through the lobby and out the main reception doors feeling like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I am never usually one to get ahead of myself but that went _so_ well. I don't know if it was because I connected with Allyson pretty much straight away, or just because the answers to her questions came naturally to me, but I feel like this job could be mine. And I couldn't feel any more happier if I tried.

I spot Sawyer leaning against the SUV across the road and make my way over to him, he sees me and stands up straight again, reaching for the passenger door handle and opening it for me.

"Thank you Sawyer"

Pulling out my phone I see the clock reads 12.30. I was in my interview for over an hour yet it felt like only minutes passed, I contemplate phoning Christian but remember what he said about being in a meeting for the best part of the afternoon, so I decide to text him instead.

_**Aced my interview, will hear back in two days. **_

"Where to Miss Steele?" I catch Sawyer's gaze in the rear view mirror as he starts the engine to life.

"Umm, Escala please Sawyer" I know that Christian won't be home for hours but I may as well head over there and wait, I know I have sweat pants there so I don't need to stop off at Kate's first.

My phone vibrates as we pull out into the midday traffic and I'm surprised to see it's a reply from Christian.

_**I knew you would be amazing baby, I'm so proud of you. Are you heading to Escala?**_

_**Thank you. Yes, Sawyer is driving now. What time will you be home?**_

Minutes later I get a reply.

_**Around half six baby, Gail will prepare dinner. I will see you later. I love you.**_

Even though I am still really confused and hurt by our argument yesterday, reading those three little words makes my stomach flip somersaults.

_**I love you too.  
**_

**Christian's POV**

Ana has just informed me that she is on the way back to the apartment and I instantly breathe a sigh of relief, after yesterday I didn't think that she would ever want to step foot into the apartment again.  
I feel sick to my stomach when I think about our impending conversation, I have to tell her. There are no two ways about it anymore. When she asked Elliot why he fired Cassidy I nearly choked on my food, and then she said that she heard she was into drugs, well fuck that almost made my heart give way there and then.

I don't know where she heard that, but I can only presume it is a rumour floating around the nightclub scene. If they are talking about Cassidy, how long will it be before Brody gets thrown into the mix? I can't risk Ana finding out that way, it will devastate her and when she discovers that I already knew - I know that she will never forgive me.  
I plan on telling her everything tonight when I get home, but right now there is something else I need to deal with. Adam Fucking Atkins.

His detailed background check fell onto my desk an hour ago and I am reading it for what feels like the hundredth time.  
He's twenty three years old, lives in Portland and works as an accountant for his Father's firm, he's currently single - _No fucking surprise there, _and lives in a two bed apartment with his brother. So basically he's a preppy little fucker who works for daddy and has only just discovered what it feels like to be independent, and _he _thinks he is better than _me?_

When I reached the _'Relationships' _section and saw Ana's name I felt my blood boil, just seeing the confirmation that they were once together in black and white fills me with pure, unadulterated rage and I want nothing more than to rip this asshole limb from limb.  
I instructed Taylor to prepare the helicopter so that we can leave for Portland in under an hour, I have debated whether this is the right thing to do or not, but each time I come back to the same conclusion. Atkins is a cocky, arrogant, disrespectful son of a bitch and he has tried to fuck with what's mine. He needs bringing down a peg or two, and I can't _wait _to be the one that does it.

* * *

Taylor parks the car outside 'Collin's Circle'. Atkins apartment block on Columbia Street, I'll be the first to admit that the kid has found himself a nice spot to set up home, his apartment overlooks the Vista and Fremont Bridge, I can see from here that the place has been recently renovated and it looks modern and well constructed, it's no Escala but it suffices.

"Right Taylor, lets do this"

"Are you sure you don't want me to go up alone Sir?" _Is he fucking with me?_

"Yes, Taylor quite sure. I want to meet this little dick head" I don't give him a chance to reply before I am climbing out of the car and heading to the lobby entrance, I scan the apartment listings on the side of the door and press the buzzer for 413 when I locate his name.  
I have already contacted his office and I know he isn't working today, Taylor informed me that his brother is out of town so he has to be here.

"Hello?" _Fuck, even hearing his voice makes me want to put my fist through the door._

"Mr Atkins I presume?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Christian Grey" Silence. That's what I hear. Dead silence.

"Christian Grey?" He answers, clearly sounding shell shocked.

"Yes, I believe we have some things to discuss. Can I come in?" I don't bother with a please, the fucker should be grateful that I haven't kicked the door down by now. Just when I'm about to repeat myself, I hear the door buzz, indicating that he has allowed us access. On the way up, Taylor advises me to keep my calm and let him do the talking, I want to tell him to fuck off and leave me to it but I understand that he is just doing his job, and his job is to protect me from anything that may endanger me or to be classed as a threat, But Adam Atkins is no fucking threat.

I knock on the door harshly and not even ten seconds later it opens and I am met with the man that nearly destroyed my relationship, he humiliated my girlfriend and in turn tried to tarnish my reputation. And I have never wanted to beat the living shit out of someone as much as I do now.  
He's a good looking son of a bitch, tall, muscular and blonde. Much like Brody actually so I am guessing that Ana had a type before me, because lets face it, I look nothing like the surfer boys that she has dated previously. He eyes me up and down and to his credit he doesn't look scared. _But he fucking well should be._

"Mr Atkins. Christian Grey"

"Yeah I gathered that when I buzzed you in, what do you want?" _Feisty little shit I see._

"Can I come in? I would prefer to have this conversation in private"

"Who's he?" He nods in Taylor's direction.

"Jason Taylor, my head of Security. Now can I come in?" I say more forcefully this time, I'm beginning to lose my patience. He rolls his eyes and opens the door wider before walking away, his way of inviting us in. Not a bad place inside, furniture is sparse and a little plain but I can't say I am one for colour and personal belongings, too personal and intimate for my liking.

"I would offer you a drink but something tells me you're not here to play nice" Perceptive as well.

"You guessed right. May we?" I gesture to the couch next to me and he nods his head once, sitting himself in the arm chair across from us. I lean back and cross my ankle over my knee, I take all of him in and he looks to be doing the same. Effectively we are two rivals, we have both loved Anastasia Steele at a point in our lives, the only difference is that she's still mine. And she always will be. _He_ can never have her again, and I am here to set that little fact straight for him.

"So, why are you here?" He copies my stance and leans back into the chair, I don't know if he does it to piss me off or what, but I decide not to react. _Got to play it cool, Grey _

"I think you know why, why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know what. Don't test me. _Why _did you send that article into the Nooz?" He rubs his fingers along his lips, pretending to be deep in thought when in reality this bastard knows exactly why he did it. If he thinks he can outsmart me or provoke me into a reaction he has got another thing coming.

"Oh _that? _It's quite simple really. I had a story to tell about your girlfriend, why wouldn't I share it with the world?" His mouth curls into a smug smirk and I want nothing more than to knock it off, I feel Taylor nudge me with his knee slightly, silently imploring me not to react. He knows what Atkins is doing, he comes across assholes like him every day.

"Why would you do that to her? You humiliated her in front of her friends and family, does that give you some sort of sick thrill?" I am now leaning forward, resting my elbows on my parted knees, glaring directly at the prick in front of me.

"I only told the truth, people should know what she's really like. Social elites expect _the _Christian Grey's girlfriend to be respectful, demure and pure. Someone that can be idolised in the sycophantic world that you live in, but I knew otherwise. She's none of those things and never will be. She's the girl that would suck my dick in public rest rooms" I feel myself lunge forward but Taylor holds me back, how fucking _dare _he speak that way about my girlfriend, the image of Ana on her knees in front of him plays out in my mind and I have to swallow the bile that rises in my throat, but this is what he wants. He wants to get to me and taint what Ana and I have, well he can't. No one can.

"So you decided to tarnish her reputation before people even got to know her?" The fucker shrugs his shoulders as if to say _'maybe, maybe not' _"Why? She hasn't done anything to hurt you, she told me how your relationship ended, hell even _you _said in the interview that you just drifted apart. What could possibly posses you to be this cruel towards her?" The smirk fades from his face and is replaced with a cold and calculated stare, aimed directly at me. His eyes narrow and darken as he shifts his body to face me.

"She left me. She promised me that we would move to Seattle together and start a new life, but what did she do? She fucking bailed on me just so she could focus on her final exams, she didn't give a shit about me. I would have done _anything _for her and she used and abused my love for her, so I wanted revenge. What are you gunna' do, sue me? Fucking go ahead and I will just phone in more stories about _your _precious Anastasia" He's standing now and pacing the carpet in front of me. I recognise this type of behaviour, as much as I hate to admit I see myself in him. He has just admitted to me that the only reason he has done this is because Ana ended things with him, he's bitter and resentful. But that doesn't excuse what he did for one fucking second "Because let me tell you I've got loads, which one do you want to hear first? The one where she called me at three in the morning begging me to come round and fuck her? Telling me how wet she was for me and how she wanted nothing more than to slide her hot, wet pussy down onto my hard dick. . . -"

In a flash I am on my feet and charging for him , not even Taylor can react quick enough to stop me. I swing my arm and my fist connects perfectly with his jaw, he stumbles backwards but I catch him and slam him against the nearest wall. I can't even see straight right now, I feel like I am seeing white spots in front of me and my vision is blurred. My heart is beating so hard and fast and it feels like it's about to burst out of my chest. I feel Taylor behind me but he doesn't lay a hand on me. He understands. He's a man in love himself and I know for a fact if another man had spoken that way about Gail, they would be nothing more than a bruised and battered ball of flesh on the floor right now.

"You fucking listen to me you god damn son of a bitch, if I _ever _hear you speak about _my_ girlfriend like that again I will do a lot more than punch your sorry fucking face in, are we clear?"

"Can't you handle the truth - "

"I'm not finished talking" I yell in his face and watch as he flinches before he lifts his thumb to wipe the blood away from his mouth "I couldn't give a _fuck _if she left you. I'm glad she did, she clearly didn't love you. Get over it, she's mine now and believe me when I say I will do anything to protect her. You think that one pathetic interview with that low life trashy rag will change how I feel about her? Do you?" He doesn't say anything, he just stares at me with a blank expression painted on his face. I still have him pinned against the wall. "Well it won't. I love her and she loves me, she means everything to me and there is nothing that _you_ or anyone else can do about it. She's _mine" _I drop his sorry ass to the floor and step back to catch my breath.

Fuck, did it feel good to get that off my chest. Seeing this prick makes me realise how much of an asshole I was to Ana yesterday even more, I should have supported her and told her that none of it mattered to me. But I didn't. I insulted her and pushed her away, I gave this dick exactly what he wanted and judged her. I cant lie and say that his words didn't have an affect on me. I don't know if what he said about her calling him for sex was true but I don't care. Well that's a lie, of course I _care. _But I refuse to hold it against Ana, this was in her past, I am her present, and I hope to god her future. This doesn't matter. _He _doesn't matter.

"So, this is what's going to happen" I straighten my jacket and adjust my cufflinks as he rubs his jaw repeatedly, I know that hit hurt. My knuckles are still throbbing "You, are going to contact the Nooz again. You're going to tell them that your previous story was false and you are going to retract every disgusting thing that you have ever said about my girl"

"Why the fuck would I do that?" He mumbles as he continues to try and soothe his aching jaw. _Fucking pussy._

"Because if you don't I am going to buy your father's firm and let it crumble to the ground, I've done my research, it's failing and it's failing fast. He would snap my hand off for the offer I plan to make for it, it's a very _low _offer mind you but I know how desperate he is. Then you will have to watch on as everything daddy dearest worked so hard for disappears. You will be cut off, you will lose this apartment, the cars, the vacations in the Bahamas, the women that only look at you because of your trust fund. You will lose everything. Is that something you want to happen?"

"You can't do that, you don't have the power. You're bluffing" _Oh really?_

"I think you will find I'm not. I'm Christian Grey, I can do whatever I want and what I want is for _you, _to take every sorry little word that you said back, You will say that it was all in your head, you wanted people to believe that you were in a relationship when in reality, it was nothing more than a fantasy that you would think about as you jerked off in your bed alone. Understand?" The look on his face is priceless right now, all the colour has drained from his face and he looks like he will vomit any minute.

"You cant make me do this"

"I think you will find I can, and I will. Now get your ass over here and sign this. Taylor?" I turn my attention to my security, he reaches inside his jacket pocket and pulls out the folded contract along with a _GEH _engraved fountain pen. I notice the small smirk playing at the side of his mouth even though I know he is trying his best to hide it.

"Sign what?" Dick head asks as he stands a little straighter.

"An Non Disclosure Agreement. By signing this it means you will not be permitted to discuss today with anyone, you can't tell anyone that I was here, what I have told you or about our little. . .Interaction" I gesture to his bloody mouth with my head and hold out the pen for him to take.

"And if I don't sign it?" _He really needs to ask._

"I think you know what will happen don't you? You will lose everything. So lets not play around here. Sign it" I glare at him as he refuses to take the pen from me.

"Sign. The. Fucking. Contract" I spit at him and eventually he does, honestly it's like talking to a fucking child.

"I will expect you to contact the Nooz over the course of the next two days. If I don't see this article up and running by the end of the week I will have my team contact your father and start the proceedings, and before you ask he _will _sell"

"You're a fucking piece of work Grey, do you know that?" He narrows his eyes at me and I take that as his way of saying, _Okay I understand, but I don't like it_.

"Oh I know" I do up the top two buttons on my jacket and straighten my stance "But it gets me what I want, and don't you forget it. Thank you for your hospitality Mr Atkins we will be on our way now. I have a multi billion empire to run and a gorgeous girlfriend waiting for me at home, ready for me to fuck her brains out. Do have a nice day"

And with that, I am gone.

* * *

I feel her presence before I see her, I walk into the great room and she's curled up in the overstuffed armchair reading a book. Dressed in yoga pants and a grey tank top that shows off her toned, flat stomach, her hair is pinned in a messy pony tail on the top of her head and she looks. So. Fucking. Beautiful. She hasn't seen me walk in yet so I take this chance to admire her from a far, she's engrossed in whatever it is she's reading and every so often her little nose scrunches up and fuck if it's not the most adorable thing I have ever seen.

"I know you're watching me" She doesn't lift her eyes from the page or turn her head in my direction.

"How did you know?" I push myself off the door frame and stalk towards her.

"I could feel your eyes on me" As I come to stand in front of her she tilts her face towards me and eyes me up and down. I can't actually tell if she is still pissed off with me or not, she told me that she loved me earlier but what does that mean? Did she just say it because I said it first? I perch on the arm of the chair next to her as she closes her book and tosses it on the floor.

"I like my eyes on you. So come on tell me, how did it go?" Her face lights up and I know then that she sailed through the interview.

"It couldn't have gone any better, the head of HR was so sweet and we just clicked, I'm not getting my hopes up but I have a really good feeling about it" I bend down to kiss her forehead and breathe a silent sigh of relief when she doesn't flinch or pull away.

"That's amazing baby"

"You're later than you said you would be. I tried calling you"

"I had some errands to run, they just took longer than anticipated"

"What kind of errands?"

"Okay I'm just gunna' say it, I went to see Adam Atkins" As soon as the words leave my mouth she's sitting up in her chair, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"You did _what?" _

"I had to Ana, it has been playing on my mind ever since I read the fucking thing yesterday and I had to sort it out"

"Sort it out how exactly? Did you hit him?" _Oh, how she knows me so well_

"Maybe, just a little bit - " She's on her feet before I even finish my sentence, hands balled at her hips and glaring at me like she wants to rip my throat right out.

"What the fuck Christian? How is _that _going to help matters? Why would you do that? Did you go to his apartment in Portland? Did he hit you back?" Okay she's rambling now.

"Baby, slow down. I went because the little shit has disrespected you and doesn't exactly sit well with me, I hit him because he was talking about you and I _won't _even repeat the disgusting things he was saying, of course he didn't hit me back as if I would even let him, and how the hell do you know he lives in Portland?" She looks at me with a _"what the fuck_" look and cocks her hip to the side, crossing her arms across her chest and pushing those gorgeous tits up.

"I have friends from college Christian, friends that still live in Portland and they told me that he never moved. Is that okay with you?" Smart ass.

"Fine, whatever" I pull my tie loose and take my jacket off "And for the record it will help matters, I've told him to retract his statement immediately and lets just say that he will do as I say"

"Why would he agree to that?"

"I _may _have told him that if he doesn't, I will destroy his whole entire life with the click of my fucking fingers and there's nothing he can do about it. Safe to say he has agreed" Her face radiates confusion and bewilderment and I don't blame her, I didn't even tell her I was going to see him, and now here I am like Mr fucking fix it.

"I don't understand, explain to me again what you said to him" I pull on her hand and drag her towards me so that she is standing in between my parted legs, I lock my hands behind her lower back as she tentatively places her hands flat against my chest.

"It's nothing for you to worry about baby, I don't want that shit in your head and to be honest, it's not even important. The main thing is that the prick has seen the light and he's going to fix the sorry mess that he made. You need to trust me on this okay?" She purses her lips and releases a heavy sigh, I know she feels conflicted and wants to know what I said and did, but if I tell her I have to go into details about the conversation we shared. And I _really _don't want to re-hash the filthy and derogatory things that he was saying.

"Honestly baby it's all okay. . . Kiss me" She looks up at me from her long lashes and tilts her head to the side.

"I'm not sure you deserve it Grey" I can feel her warm, sweet breath on my lips as she fiddles with the collar on my shirt.

"Please baby don't deny me, I've missed your hot lips on mine these past two days. Come on baby, give me some sugar" She giggles and my world starts spinning again. Fuck I've missed that sound. She shakes her head as she laughs and leans into my already puckered lips, once they make contact with mine all humour disappears and it's just me and my girl again. I move my hand to cup the side of her face and tease her top lip with my tongue, she moans softly and that's all it takes. I grab hold of her ass roughly and yank her to me, her arms move around my neck and when she twists her fingers into my hair I practically drag her onto my lap whilst forcing my tongue deeper down her throat, my whole body comes alive and all I feel is white, hot heat. Fuck, I've missed her so much. It's only been two days but it feels like so much longer, a fucking minute where I am not inside my baby is a minute wasted.

"I want you so much baby, let's go to bed" I moan against her lips in between kisses as my hand comes to rest at the nape of her neck, holding her in place as I kiss her with everything that I have.

"Christian. . .Wait a minute" She tries to pull away from me but fuck if that's happening, I need her so badly I can barely breathe, my dick feels like it's about to burst from the seam of my pants.

"Come on baby, you know you want it just as much as I do" I nip her bottom lip with my teeth and damn near convulse on the spot when she releases a long, low moan. I drag my lips from hers to the side of her mouth, all the way down her throat until I reach the swell of her fucking outrageous tits. I have never craved another woman more than I do Anastasia Steele, she drives me fucking crazy with want and if I could be in bed with her 24/7, her hot little body spread out for me and me only, I would in a heartbeat.

"Christian seriously, we need to talk remember" She says breathlessly as I pull her top down and latch my lips onto her perfect, erect nipple. I start to go to town on her but then she yanks my head up so that I release her breast with a loud pop.

"There's something you need to tell me remember?" Huh, what? "At breakfast this morning, you said you needed to talk to me about something" _Fuck, I forgot about that. I don't want to talk, I just want to get my baby naked and fuck her senseless._

"You want to talk now?" She nods at me as she tucks her tit back inside her bra and stands back, effectively breaking away from me, leaving me feeling bereft.

"Yes, I want to talk now. Come on, spill it Grey" I push myself backwards and flop on the chair with a flourish, I was _this _close to impaling her with my cock and she decides she wants to talk instead. Wonders will never seize.

"Okay, give me a minute. I need to figure out how I am going to tell you this" I grab her hand and pull her over to the couch and try to adjust the prominent bulge in my pants. But if I'm honest, just thinking about this conversation is rapidly killing my libido more and more by the second. Ana twists her body to me and I notice the anxiety that is written all over her beautiful face. It's like she knows whatever this is, its going to be bad.

"Fuck I don't even really know how to say this"

"Christian you're scaring me, what's going on?" I push my hair off my forehead and take a deep breath. _Just fucking tell her, Grey._

"Okay I'm gunna start from the beginning, or at least what I think is the beginning. Brody and Cassidy slept together" Her face morphs from worry to confusion in a split second, her forehead crinkles and I can't mistake the look of disgust on her face.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me baby, they slept together"

"When?!" She yells making me jump slightly. She's so dainty and petite but when she shouts she could wake the dead "Was that bastard cheating on me with her too?" I know she is talking about Evie when she says 'too'. It's no secret that she thinks they were seeing each other behind her back, and to be honest I'm starting to question it now also, but I am _not_ going into that right now.

"No Ana, as far as I know it only started last week. Don't ask me why he did it because I don't have a clue, but that's not what's important"

"What is it then?" I take her hand and stroke her knuckles with my thumb, I don't know who I am trying to comfort more. Ana or myself.

"She's got him into some shit baby, serious shit. And when I say what I am about to say you have to promise me that you won't blame yourself okay?" She frowns at me again and I see her chest start to heave with the rapid breaths that she is taking.

"Christian -"

"Promise me Ana?" I hold her gaze with my own and she slowly nods.

"She's. . . She offered him some, fuck I can't even say it. . . She gave him some cocaine and he took it, he's been taking it ever since" I look up and am met with frozen, wide eyes. Her whole body tenses and her grip on my hand tightens, I run my free hand up and down her bare arm but get no reaction.

"Baby? Say something Ana please" I stroke her cheek with my hand to try and provoke some sort of reaction from her but get nothing "Baby?"

"What? I don't understand?" Her voice is barely above a whisper but there's no mistaking the hurt that is underlying here.

"He is taking drugs Ana, Lewis has been tailing him and he saw him leaving Cassidy's apartment last week stoned out of his head, they have been sleeping together and in turn, she has been supplying him with cocaine. I know what you must be thinking baby and I know it's disgusting, I don't know what he is playing at -" She cuts me off with her hand, I wisely shut my mouth and watch as she releases a deep breath and shakes her head slowly.

"So let me get this straight, Brody, my Brody has been taking drugs? He has been sleeping with that vile, disgusting slut and he has been taking drugs?" I cringe when she says _my Brody _but I know she didn't mean it that way. She's just trying to figure out why in the hell the Brody that we all loved so much is doing this. Because I know have no fucking idea.

"Yes, Elliot fired Cassidy and she hasn't been near Brody since"

"You told Elliot?" I nod

"Why didn't you tell me?" _There it is._

"Ana, I wanted to but I just didn't know how. I knew you would be upset"

"I'm not upset Christian, I'm fucking angry" She stands and pulls her hair free from her pony tail, rubbing her head vigorously, her breathing is getting heavier by the second and I see her fan her face repeatedly, something that I've noticed she does when she is _really _trying to calm herself down.

"Why, why would he do this. . . I don't understand. Fuck, I can't. . .Breathe" I'm stood in front of her instantly with my hands on either side of her face.

"Baby, I need you to calm down okay. Deep breaths Ana, breathe with me" I breathe slowly and deeply and plead her to do the same, she copies my movements and her breathing starts to calm. I see her shoulders shake and within seconds she is crying her eyes out, I pull her close to my chest and just let her cry. The sobs rack her body as I stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head. I don't say anything to her, I just let her cry. I know it's what she needs to do right now.

"Why did he d..ddo it? Is it b..because I left him? I _knew _that she would blame herself for this, that's just what she does. I cant stand the thought of her beating herself up because her ex has got his stupid fucking ass in trouble with drugs. This is more my fault than hers, he trusted me and I betrayed him.

"You listen to me" I pull her face back and try to wipe the tears away that are falling fast and heavy. She is choking on her tears and she cant even look at me "Ana listen to me, this is not your fault do you understand me? Brody has an addiction, a dangerous addiction but it has got _nothing_ to do with you. Okay?" I sit down on the couch and pull her with me. I fucking hate that this is cutting her up so badly, I don't really know what I was expecting though? She has just discovered her ex boyfriend is a drug addict, someone that she lived with and shared her life with. This has got to hurt like a fucking bitch.

"We need to help him Christian" Finally her crying has stopped, I can hear her sniffling against my shirt as I stroke her back but thank god she isn't crying anymore. I cant stand to see her like that it fucking breaks my heart.

"I know baby, now that I have told you I'm going to check him in to a rehab facility. Hopefully he goes willingly but there's no promises with that one, it's just knowing how to approach him" She sits up and wipes her wet cheeks with her hand, her eyes are red and swollen and her nose looks sore but she is still the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She doesn't shout. She doesn't scream. Her voice is so soft and quiet but I can still hear the accusation there, she's pissed and I can feel it oozing off her in spades, but its like she has run out of energy to yell at me.

"I didn't want to hurt you Ana, and I _knew _that telling you this would hurt you. But when you told me you were hearing rumours about Cassidy I knew that enough was enough, you had to know the truth and it needed to be me that told you" She scans my face for any signs that I might be lying, her eyes are glassy with tears and I expect her to blow up at any minute. I lied to her. I hurt her again and my hear beat starts to pick up, what if she leaves me? What if she decides that she is better off without me and realises what a selfish asshole I am.

"I'm so sorry baby, I know I've kept something really fucking important from you and I deserve such an ass kicking but I only did it to protect you. You have to believe me when I say that" I feel the corners of my eyes prick with tears and I turn my head away from her so that she can't see me. _Fuck, am I crying? I never cry._ If she leaves me I don't know what I will do, the thought of that causes the large knot in the pit of my stomach to twist, I love her so much I don't know what I will do without her. I feel her hand on the side of my cheek as she tries to turn my head but I don't move, she can't see me fucking cry.

"Christian look at me" I cant, if I do and she tells me she's going I'll break "Christian please look at me" I slowly turn my head slightly, flicking my eyes in her direction I see her gazing at me intently. Her expression is unreadable and that just petrifies me even more. She shifts closer to me and raises her right hand so that she has both palms resting on either side of my face.

"What's wrong?" _Fuck, does she really need to ask that._

"I've let you down" I choke on a sob. "I hurt you yesterday when I said those fucking awful things to you, I'm disgusted with myself for what I said and I know I can never take them back, and as for Brody I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for keeping this from you, I don't know how I can ever make this -" I shut the fuck up when I feel her lips on mine, her kiss is harsh and demanding and all consuming, once I snap out of my funk I curl my hand around the back of her neck, her hand comes to rest on my cheek and that's when I realise that It's wet, I didn't even feel the tears falling from my eyes. Once we pull away breathless and sated she drops her forehead against mine.

"Thank you" _She's thanking me? What in the world does she have to thank me for?_ "Thank you for being honest with me"

"You're not mad?"

"Oh, I'm more than mad I'm furious. But I get it, I get why you thought you needed to keep this from me. But Christian, I am _so _much stronger than you think I am. I can handle tough situations, okay I may have just had a minor melt down but I'm okay now. All I can think about is how we're gunna help Brody, because that's what we need to do Christian. We need to help him" She's not leaving me?

"You're really not mad with me?" She looks at me before climbing onto my lap and burying her head into my shoulder.

"I'm not happy with you but I'm not mad. And as for yesterday, I just want to forget that ever happened. If you say that you have fixed it with Adam then I believe you, but our main priority is Brody now right?" God, I love this woman more than anything. Even when I let her down she still loves me and wants to be with me.

"Yes, our main priority is Brody, we will get him the help that he needs okay?" She nods as I stroke her soft cheek and push her hair away from her face.

"Christian?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Can you take me to bed now please? I need you"

**A/N - If only it was that easy? (;**

**I love you all so much. Your reviews are overwhelming and only spur me on even more (:**

**(All mistakes are mine)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 - Confrontations & Seduction **

**Anastasia's POV**

I awake to the feel of Christian leaving hot, languid kisses on my neck , and before I can even blink my eyes open properly, he's lifting my leg and hitching it around his waist, before sliding his rock hard cock into my dripping sex.

"Shit Ana, you're so wet" He breathes into my ear from behind me, as he grips my hip harshly and really starts to thrust.

"I thought it was a dream" I manage to gasp out in between my soft moans and groans.

"No, no dream baby, just me and you. Here. Fucking like this" Even his words turn me on, I turn my head slightly and join my lips with his, our tongues stroke and dance with each other, igniting the burning desire even more, my hips begin to rock to their own accord, back and forth, meeting him thrust for thrust. I need to touch him, I need to feel his skin beneath me. My right hand reaches up so that I can thread my fingers into the soft hair at the nape of his neck, I tug hard eliciting a strangled groan that is so hot, I nearly come on the spot.

"Top, Christian…Let me on top" I grunt out as his hand snakes to the conjunction of my thighs, finding the wet, engorged nub hidden there and rubbing furiously as he continues to pound into me at a relentless pace. He doesn't seem to be listening to me though, he wants to control this fuck and take me exactly how he wants to but that's not what I want, I want to own him. Show him who is really in control. I use all the strength in my legs and twist my body up and around, effectively pushing him into the mattress beneath him as I straddle his hips and halt my movements.

"Fuck, Ana what are you doing?" If I wasn't so turned on right now, I would laugh at the stunned expression on his gorgeous face. I trace his jaw with my fingertips before stroking all the way down to his chiselled pecks, placing my palms flat I lift myself so that only his tip is left inside me before I slam back down with force, impaling myself until I feel like he will come out of my throat. Christian's head drops back into the pillows as his eyes shut together tight, his hands flies to my hips as I start to move.

"Yeah, baby that's it. Ride me" Leaning forward, I bend my head and crash my lips to his, as soon as I feel his hot, wet tongue slide into my mouth that's all the ammunition I need. I move hard and fast against him groaning into his mouth the whole time, for some reason I feel so hedonistic and unrestrained, I don't know if it's the fact that we went nearly two days without sex, or because we have finally made up and now I can't get enough. But more than anything I think it's because I saw my man in a whole new light last night, he was vulnerable and when he told me about Brody I could see how much it was churning him up inside, he was petrified of telling me, yet he pushed his own feelings aside and was honest with me. Something changed for me in that moment, It was like he had grown up and matured all in the space of ten minutes, even though I _wish _he had told me about Brody sooner. I understand why he didn't, I think we're getting better at this communication thing. Slowly but surely.

Plus, knowing that he punched my, low life, scrotum of an ex boyfriend might have started the fire a bit as well.

"Fuck, Christian that feels so good" My head flies back as I sit up straight again, needing to feel him as deep as possible. His fingernails are digging into my hips and it's only just not painful, I lower my eyes and lock gazes with his, the look on his face is so seductive and carnal, it's like he is looking straight through me and reaching places that only he can reach.

"I love you" His grip tightens on me as he closes his eyes and groans, as if it pains him to hear my words. As soon as I purposely clench my walls around him as I lift myself up and down harder and faster, he suddenly sits up so that we are nose to nose.

"_Fuckkk_, fuck, fuck Ana stop! Please stop moving baby" I grasp his face and yank it so his lips are level with mine, before darting my tongue out and swiping it across his bottom lip quickly "If you move right now I'm gunna' come, I really don't want to come yet baby" His voice sounds so pained and strangled, I can feel his hot and heavy breath against my neck and I know he is desperately trying to fight his orgasm.

"Christian, move with me. Please, I need you to move" If he doesn't I'm going to combust, I feel my sex throb and contract and I know that it won't be long, I'm so aroused and ready for this I'm surprised I have even lasted this long, but I want to fuck him, I want to watch him fall apart beneath me as I fuck him senseless. When I ask him to move again and he refuses I lose it, I brace my hands against his chest and push him so he falls backwards, before he can even protest I am bucking my hips at a rapid speed, once again his eyes screw shut tight and I can see the beads of sweat forming against his forehead, he is so desperate to come, I don't understand why he just doesn't let it go.

"Come for me Christian, I want you to come for _me" _I know he's shocked by my demand, hell even I am. But I want to own him, I want him to mark me and claim me as his, just as much as I want to claim him as mine. At this point he isn't even meeting my thrusts, it's like if he matches my movements he will detonate and it's clearly not what he wants to do yet. His head thrashes from side to side and a strangled sob leaves his throat.

"No! I'm not coming before you Ana, there is no way in hell I am ending this. You feel so fucking good, so hot and tight" Oh so that's how he wants to play it, is it? He is _still _trying to control this even though I have quite clearly hijacked the ride. I lean back down again as my rocking slows, I still maintain the clenching of my internal muscles and bite down on his earlobe, mewling like a cat softly. I know it drives him wild when I moan quietly in his ear, it gets him going so much more than when I am screaming like a banshee at the top of my lungs. I slide my hand up his chest and rake my fingernails through the small smattering of hair that is nestled there. Gripping the head board behind his head, I use that for leverage as I move slowly. So, so slowly while moaning in his ear the whole time.

"Fuck, I can hardly believe this is still happening sometimes" I hear him whisper, although it sounds like he is talking to himself more than he is to me.

"What?" Pressing a firm kiss against his neck as his fingers rim my nipple, he strokes slowly and reverentially before squeezing my whole breast with the palm of his hand.

"You and me, having sex. It just feels so surreal, like you'll disappear if I think about it for too long" _I'll never disappear on you, Christian Grey._

"I'll always be with you, I love you more than you will ever know. You complete me Christian"

"Don't say things like that baby, I will lose it if you keep talking like that" His hands move into my hair at either side of my head, keeping me in place so that I can't move. That's okay, this is where I want to be anyway.

"I can feel you, I know you want to shoot your hot load inside me so bad, come on Christian. Pump that dick baby" I emphasise the word _hot _and graze his jaw with my teeth, nipping slightly. His arms lock around my back suddenly and his face buries into my neck as I hear a deep, low roar reverberate from his chest. I try and sit up so I can watch him but his grip is so tight I cant even move an inch, hearing his raw grunts and groans spurs me on for my own climax, still locked in his grasp, I lift myself up and down over and over again, riding him harder than I ever have done before, his legs stiffen beneath me and when I feel his hips jerk as he fills me, that's all it takes to push me over the edge, trembling, I convulse around him almost violently as the spasms rack my body.

"Fuck, Christian!" I can hear the primal scream that leaves my throat and I'm powerless to stop it. The waves feel relentless and never ending, my body is shaking uncontrollably and even though I can feel Christian whispering something in my ear I cant stop coming, the coil has well and truly snapped and I feel like I might pass out if I don't calm down. I'm vaguely aware that he has rolled me over so that I am laying beneath him.

"Shhh, it's okay I've got you baby" Christian is whispering in my ear and stroking my cheeks as my breathing calms slowly, eventually the spasms seize and my body, _and mind _return back to earth. _Holy fucking shit, what the hell was that?!" _That was other worldly.

"Are you okay?" I open my eyes to see my boyfriend looming over me, concern spread across his beautiful face, I reach up to stroke his jaw and I can't stop the face splitting grin that wants to break out.

"I am _way _more than okay, that was…Wow!" He chuckles and dips his head lower, planting a soft kiss on my lips, then the tip of my nose before pulling out of me and rolling on to his side of the bed.

"I know, fuck that was intense. Do feel free to start all mornings off that way Miss Steele. Shit you came so hard"

"I do believe that it was _you _that started that, Sir. I just simply followed instruction" He props himself up onto his elbow and traces my exposed areola with his index finger making me shiver at the contact.

"More like took the lead, fuck Ana that was so hot. Since when do you talk dirty?" I turn my head and look at him.

"I've talked dirty before" I say with a frown, I actually don't think I ever stop with the filthy talk it's getting to become embarrassing, Christian brings out a side of me that I didn't even know existed. He makes me feel carnal, and wanton and desired. And in turn, making me a brazen and insatiable hussy that can't get enough of him.

"Yeah, but not like that, whispering in my ear and talking about my dick like that…-" He closes his eyes and groans making me giggle, I lift my head slightly and glance at the time on the nightstand.

"Jesus, Christian it's only 6.30. Couldn't you have at least waited another hour before you attacked me?" He grins and bends down to nip my ear lobe making me squeal.

"I tried to leave you alone, but then you turned over and the sheet fell down. I couldn't take my eyes off your tits and that was it. I was a goner" He tells me while massaging my breast, it's like he cant talk about them without touching them at the same time "And besides, you were more than ready for me"

"I told you, I thought it was a dream, I could feel you touching me but it didn't feel real" His hand snakes under the covers and cups my sex, no doubt still drenched from the product of our combined releases.

"Well it certainly felt real from where I was baby, you are so fucking sexy" Pulling my head towards him, he dips his tongue inside my mouth, teasing me before pulling away again.

"I actually need to get up now anyway, so I would have had you despite your tantalizing tit show" I pull the sheet up higher and turn on my side so I can face him.

"Why do you have to be up so early, it's just not right being awake at this hour" I stifle a yawn with my hand but it creeps out regardless.

"The world of mergers and acquisitions never sleeps Ana, this is late for me. I'm usually up and dressed for six"

"What? That's crazy!" He shuffles down the bed so that we are now only inches apart, our noses nearly touching.

"This was before you, I used to sleep terribly. But you have this affliction on me Miss Steele. Now I literally have to tear myself away from you and getting up is so hard" He whines like a petulant school boy and when he pouts my heart melts into a puddle right here in the 100% Egyptian cotton bed spread.

"You are so hard done by aren't you? You just got hot sex at six a.m. in the morning, count yourself lucky Grey" He yanks me closer by my hip and threads his free hand into my hair.

"Have I ever told you what a smart mouth you have?"

"Hmmm, once or twice" His mouth lowers to mine and we are soon a frenzy of tongues, hands and hair pulling, His touch is igniting my skin and setting it a light, how can he have such an affect on me? He just made me come like a freight train and now I'm raring to go again? Fuck, it's just not normal.

"I thought you had to be up for work?" I mumble against his lips but he doesn't give up.

"Fuck it, I would much rather be inside you then sat with a boardroom full of incompetent jackasses. They can wait" He tries to roll me over but I push him back with the flats of my palms.

"I don't think so, you need to get up. Later" And there's that pout again. _Jeez, he's so freaking adorable._

"But I don't wanna"

"Well you gotta" I mock him and turn back over onto my side so that he can now only see my back.

"I'm gunna' doze while you shower" I manage to get out through the middle of a yawn "Kiss me before you go"

"Baby, baby wake up. I'm going now" My eyes reluctantly flutter open, Christian is standing over me dressed in his suit and tie, god even in my tired and groggy state I can see how gorgeous he looks.

"Hmmm, what time is it?" I try and bury my head under the sheet again but he pulls it away whilst laughing.

"It's 7.15"

"Ughhh, 7.15! I don't need to be at work until noon!"

"I thought you wanted a kiss before I left?" He tries to sound hurt but I can hear the amusement in his voice, and sure enough when I lift my head he's grinning at me like a loon.

"So I did, come here then lover boy" I spread my arms open and pucker my lips earning myself another laugh. His, warm, soft lips make contact with mine and I'm in heaven again. He makes my stomach flip even with a kiss, I'm falling deeper with him every day and it's so god damn frightening.

"I love you, see you tonight?" That's his subtle way of saying,_ "are you staying here tonight or your place?" _I'm here practically every night and very rarely do we stay at Kate's. It just makes more sense to be here, we have more space and more privacy. In other words we can fuck wherever we want and how loud as we want.

"Do you want me to stay tonight?"

"Baby, I want you to stay every night. But only if you want to?" He smiles that shy smile and it reduces me to nothing more than a bag of mush. I know he is still worried about my reaction from last night, but he needn't be I am fine. I'm worried shitless about Brody and still cant quite believe it, but as for Christian and I? We are more than fine.

"I can stay, I want to" He flashes me that gorgeous, all teeth grin before planting one more chaste kiss on my lips.

"Perfect, I'll call you later. Stay out of trouble" He cocks his eyebrow at me and I giggle, what the hell can I do at Nordstrom? Except strangle myself with a coat hanger, if that doesn't kill me the boredom definitely will.

"Of course I will, now go before your entire empire crumbles before your eyes" He shakes his head as he stands and straightens his tie, picking up his wallet, he shoves it into his pants pocket before heading to the door.

"Laters baby" And with a cheeky wink, he's gone.

* * *

"Hey dad, I'm not catching you at a bad time am I?" Sawyer opens the passenger door for me as I fail to manage it, trying to grasp a handle while holding a croissant in one hand, a flask full of coffee - _courtesy of Mrs Jones _and attempting to balance the phone in between my ear and shoulder at the same time is no easy task. I flash him a smile and climb into the back of the car.

"No Annie not at all, I've been trying to call you but I couldn't get through" I close my eyes, I feel terrible. I have purposely been avoiding my dad ever since that god damn story came out, not even one hour after I had arrived at Kate's did Ray try calling me, I knew what it was about. He had seen it, or heard about it and I couldn't have felt any more nauseated at the thought if I tried.

"I'm sorry daddy, I've just been super busy, that's why I'm calling now, are you still coming to see me?"

"Of course I am, I told you anything to spend time with my girl, but are you sure you want it to be this week? You will be pretty snowed under when you start your new job" I shake my head and take a bite out of my croissant. He is determined that I will get this job, I love that he has faith in me but I will be crushed if I don't get it, telling my dad that I failed will make me feel even worse.

"Not when dad, if"

"They will be fools not to take you on Anastasia Steele and you know it, but if you're sure I can be with you by Thursday, is that good for you?"

"Perfect dad, I will be staying with Kate so I'll let her know you're coming" If I'm honest I daren't ask Christian if we can both stay at his apartment, I think I'm asking for too much too soon and it will only create uncomfortable tension between the two men in my life, they need to get to know one another before I throw them into close proximity such as that. There's silence at the other end of the line and I tense. Either, he's going to ask about Christian or the article. Or both.

"Ana, there's something I need to talk to you about" _Fuck, here it comes._

"Yeah?" I squeak.

"I'm sure you know what I'm about to say, I came across something quite disturbing at the weekend-"

"I know what you're gunna' say dad, I'm sorry you had to see that, no father should ever have to read that but there was nothing I could do until it was too late"

"Why in the earth would he do that, I know that I never liked him but I always thought he cared a great deal for you Annie" I lean back into the seat as Sawyer cruises down the interstate 5.

"I think he did at some point, but maybe he just cared about the money and the attention more"

"Well it's not on Anastasia, no man should ever talk about a woman like that, the things he said were despicable" I cringe when I think about what it said and my dad reading it, the sex in the bathroom and cafeteria? I have to stop myself from gagging the last of this croissant back up.

"I'm sorry"

"Stop apologising Annie, this wasn't your fault. I always knew that he was a rotten little snake, I never trusted him right from the off"

"I know, I remember" He pauses once again.

"I saw the pictures of you and Christian too" I don't know how to take that, I cant decipher what he is thinking and I can usually read him like a book, but right now I can't."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Handsome young man I see" I smile, _handsome is an understatement daddy._

"He is, he want's to take us out for dinner when you get here. He really wants to get to know you, he knows what you mean to me"

"That sounds good, I need to check out the man that my daughter is in love with after all don't I" My heart stops, like literally stops.

"W…What?"

"I know Ana, I saw the pictures and I can see just how in love with him you are, I know when my daughter is truly happy and this fellow makes you happy. I haven't seen those puppy dog eyes since you were ten years old and you had that crush on your English teacher." I laugh even though I can feel my eyes well up with tears, I desperately try to keep them at bay. We have never had a conversation like this before, not on anything. My mother gave me the sex talk when I was fourteen but other than that, nothing. Dad always found it too intimate and personal, I guess it's awkward to talk about sex and boyfriends with your little girl.

"Dad..-"

"You know I just want you to be happy don't you baby girl?"

"Yes"

"And this Christian makes you happy?" _Fuck, a tear._

"So happy, dad. I know it's early days but he's it for me, I know he is"

"Then that's all that matters to me, so you can tell him that I won't be bringing my gun with me" I laugh, I think Christian was actually seriously worried Ray would bring a weapon to harm him with.

"I will dad"

"Good, now in the mean time, I need to track this little asshole down and make him pay for treating my baby the way he did, I think a good beating will suffice just nicely" I wipe my eyes.

"Oh, don't worry dad. Christian has already been to his apartment and hit him" I say dead pan as I sniff my tears away.

"He did? I'm starting to like this kid more and more"

**Christian's POV**

I knew it, I knew I should have just stayed in bed with Ana. These assholes are just wasting my time and I can feel myself getting more and more pissed by the minute. I focus my attention on Charles, he's a forty-something prick with a receding hair line and wears suits that are two sizes too small for him, he's sat here talking his head off about shit he knows nothing about and it's boring me rigid, he's always been an egotistical asshole and fifteen minutes in his company is enough to make me want to gauge my eyeballs out. It's times like this where I think I'm too young for this game, even though I find myself mature and older than my years, being around these fuckers makes me realise just how young I actually am.

"What do you think Mr Grey?" Charles' assistant purrs from beside me, I turn my head as she bats her false eyelashes at me and cocks her head to the side, this one has been flirting with me ever since she walked through the door over an hour ago, she's tall and slim with jet black hair that reaches all the way down to her lower back and I'm not going to bull shit and say that she isn't attractive, because she is. Very attractive, but she's not Ana, she doesn't even _begin_ to compare to Ana. Not to mention her blatant and shameless panty dropping is a major turn off, if I pulled my dick out right now and told her to suck on it I know for a fact that she would, not that _that's _ever going to happen.

That makes my mind drift back to this morning in bed, _Fuck _was she an animal or what. I woke up before her and just watched her for the longest time, she looks so peaceful and beautiful when she sleeps and if I could stay awake and gaze at her al night then I would, but when she rolled on to her back causing the sheet to pool just below her abdomen that was it, her tits always get me going without fail, they're so soft and creamy white and they were begging for me to touch them, I could feel my dick harden as she sighed contently and unconsciously pushed her chest into my hand, even in her sleep she belongs to me and it couldn't have turned me on any more. I thought she was going to push me away when I slid into her, but when she rocked her hips against me and took all that I wanted to give, I knew that she was just as aroused as I was. I can never get enough of her plain and simple, she owns me mind, body and soul and _fuck _does she know it.

"Mr Grey?" The little harpy chirps from beside me again, and it's then that I realise I never answered her question, I'm just sat here staring into space with a rock hard cock, thinking about the way my hot, girlfriend rides me until she detonates to the point of passing out.

"What do I think? I think that I have had enough of this for today, when you decide to pull your finger out of your ass, contact my assistant and rearrange another meeting. Because this?" I stand and motion to the table of men in front of me as I straighten my jacket "This isn't getting resolved any time soon and I am a very busy man"

"Grey, we need -" I don't let the fucker finish, he is just wasting my time and I have had enough, I have a million and fucking one things that need to be done today and sitting here with this prick shooting the breeze is not one of them.

"Like I said Mr Charles, this presentation is nowhere near completed and I would think after five months that it would be. I haven't got time for sloppy and incompetent behaviour. Do have a safe trip back and contact my team when you have your shit sorted" I leave a shocked board room full of people in my wake, and don't even get to the end of the corridor before I hear Ros holler behind me.

"Whoa there Christian, what the fuck was that? We were that close to clinching the deal and you storm out. What the fuck has crawled up your ass and died?" Ros Bailey is the only person in this building that can get away with talking to me like that, she's fierce and ruthless and doesn't take any shit from anyone. And _that _is why she is my second in command.

"We were nowhere near closing the deal Ros, don't bull shit me and tell me that you thought they were prepared in there?" I carry on walking but she's hot on my tail, even though she is in six inch heels she can run like the best of them.

"So they were a bit unorganised? So fucking what, Christian we deal with asses like that day to day and still manage to get what we want. I saw you in there, you weren't even listening half the time. What the hell is going on with you?" Once I arrive at my office, I tell Andrea to bring me an update on my schedule in ten minutes. Long enough for me to get Ros off my back.

"Leave it Ros, there is nothing wrong I am just not in the mood for dickheads today"

"Are you any other day? You've been off your game for days now Christian, is it Ana? Have you fell out or something?" I pull out my chair and sit down with a huff, I know she wont fucking give up until I share something with her, even though we work together I do class her as a friend, I've always admired her spunk and tenacity and we have always bounced off each other. She has a shrewd mind and hence this conversation right now, she always knows when something is bothering me.

"No, no nothing like that. We _did _have words but we're all good now. I suppose you have already seen that god damn fucking article that was released about her" She sighs and walks over to my desk, perching on the edge while leaving one foot firmly planted on the floor.

"I did as it happens, but I don't believe for one minute that this is what's bothering you" I lift my head and cock an eyebrow at her.

"Excuse me?" She rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest.

"Oh please, you're Christian fucking Grey, I don't doubt for a minute that you got revenge on the little asshole that dared to disrespect your girlfriend and made him fear for his life, am I correct?" _Fuck, she's good._

"Actually, yes you are. That reminds me, I want you to keep any eye on the take over for Atkins Accounting Services, keep tabs on who makes an offer and how close he is to taking it" She frowns at me and twists her body so that she is facing me.

"Why? Why are you interested in that firm?"

"Because, it belongs to the family of _that _little asshole that dared to disrespect my girlfriend. It's on it's way out, I know that he's looking for a buyer and is getting desperate. I told the little fucker that if he didn't retract his statement I would buy the business for pennies and let it fail, well pennies to us. I give it a month before he goes bankrupt"

"You would never let a business that you acquired fail"

"_We_ know that Ros but he doesn't, it worked. It scared him and he will do as I say"

"Why do I need to watch the firm then?"

"Come on Ros you're a smart woman use your head, I need it for insurance. If he doesn't follow through and retract his statement then I will crush him. I might just do it anyway for trying to fuck with me, but I need to know that Ana's name is cleared first" Her ruby red lips curl up into a smirk and she shakes her head laughing.

"There's the asshole Christian I know and loathe, I was starting to think you had lost your touch for a minute there" I lean back in my chair and laugh.

"Of course not, I always get what I want you know this" This seems to throw her off, the truth is fucking Atkins is the least of my worries right now, I know that I have been slacking here and I need to get my shit together, but until I speak to Brody and get him some help that's easier said than done, Ana and I were talking in bed last night and we agreed that the only way forward is rehab, I know he wont go willingly and it will take a lot of hard work but it's where he needs to be.

She asked me if she could go and see him but I flat out refused, I know that she cares about him still, and as much as it pains me to admit it she most probably always will. But I need to keep her out of this as much as I can, I still need to protect her.

"You have a mid morning lunch meeting, a conference call with Dubai and then another call with New Orleans. And Mr Walker from PR is requesting a meeting regarding the media attention surrounding your relationship with Miss Steele, you have an hour free at 2pm this afternoon, shall I slot him in there Sir?" Andrea reels my itinerary off from the iPad resting in the crook of her arm.

"No not today Andrea, I need that slot leaving free. Pencil Walker in first thing tomorrow" I need to head down to Grey Construction and I cant hold it off any longer, Elliot text me as I was riding into work telling me that we needed to move in on Brody and fast, he had turned up for work high as a kite and completely out of it, Elliot tried to get him home but he refused to leave, in the end he got into one of the trucks and attempted to drive away, he got as far as the gate before one of the guys shut them just in time so he couldn't leave.

I phoned Lewis and asked him why the fuck he was driving to work in the first place, he said that when he left his apartment he was fine. Which tells me three things, either Lewis wasn't on top of his shit this morning, the drugs hadn't got into Brody's system properly or he had taken a hit while he was driving, I don't even want to _think _about that last scenario. I shudder when I think about what could have happened.

My security have been giving me daily detailed reports on Brody and it's plain as fucking day that he is still using, he was seen driving to Cassidy's apartment but didn't even get out of his truck, he just sat there for at least half an hour with his head on the steering while before driving away, unsavoury characters have been spotted leaving his apartment on a regular basis and I can only presume that they are supplying him with god knows what. Enough is enough. He is cracking and we cant leave him to self destruct any longer.

* * *

"Where is he?" I storm over to Elliot who is huddled with some of his guys over a table covered in plans. His head snaps up and he immediately walks towards me pulling on my arm.

"Thank fuck, where the hell have you been? Do you know how hard it has been trying to keep him here" He pulls his hard hat off his head and runs his hand through his hair, all the time leading me towards his office at the end of the yard, filling me in on Brody's condition, it sounds like he is starting to sober up but in turn that is just making him worse, he is anxious and his paranoia is through the roof.

"Have you told him that I am coming?" He shoots me an incredulous look and I take that as _no, don't be fucking stupid. _We reach the office door and Elliot pulls out a bunch of keys from his pocket.

"You locked him in?"

"Of course I did. Either that or he leaves here and most probably never comes back" The door swings open and I step inside, Brody is in the corner of the room sat on the two seated couch, he is bent forward and resting his weight on his elbows that are leant on his knees, I feel a lump form in my throat when I see him rocking back and forth, he looks so broken. _I did this._

"Brody?" His head whips up when he hears my voice, _Fuck, he looks fucking awful!_ His skin is pale and washed out, and I can see from here the beads of sweat that are running down his forehead. He has lost weight, his cheekbones are more prominent than ever and his face is starting to look gaunt. His expression registers shock when he sees me stood at the door beside Elliot, I left my jacket and tie in the car as I knew I would only rip them off in haste and anxiety once I was here, Taylor wanted to come with me, and when I told him to stay put I could see the internal debate he was having with himself. I'm asking him go against his work ethic by letting me come in here alone to try and reason with a drug addict, but I need to do this in private, just me and my Brother, and the best friend that was as good as a brother to me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He bellows and points at me, I'm not surprised at his reaction. I haven't seen him since the altercation we had in my office nearly two weeks ago when I told him to stay away, then he saw me fucking Ana in her apartment, just before all this mess started. _I did this._

"I need to talk to you, _we _need to talk to you" I motion at Elliot who steps further into the room, Brody scoffs and shakes his head as he stands to his feet.

"Tough shit, because I don't want to fucking talk to you. Either of you, now let me out so I can fucking get out of here, why are you even holding me like some sort of prisoner?"

"We know about the drugs Brody, and it's got to stop" I'm talking with a confidence that I don't even feel, inside I am a nervous wreck and I don't even know if my presence during this conversation will even help matters, he's looking at me like I am toxic and I know I deserve it, but this isn't about us. We need to help him.

"What, what are you fucking talking about? I don't know anything about no drugs" He's shifting from foot to foot and wiping his nose as he sniffs repeatedly, he looks and sounds like he has got the flu but we know otherwise.

"Stop pretending, we know what you have been doing Brody and we are here to help you" Elliot says as he steps forward but Brody shrinks away from him "We know the trouble you are in and it's driving us crazy"

"It's driving you crazy? Oh how fucking sorry I am, but you're talking bull shit, I don't know what it is you think you know but you're wrong, it's Cassidy isn't it? She's been spreading shit about me, well she's lying, she's a slut and she's lying" He's nearly backed up against the wall at this point.

"We know you've been sleeping with her Brody" I decide it's time to speak up and stop being such a pussy, I'm here for a reason and I have had enough of his pathetic denial, I know drug addicts are always in denial until they get help but this shit has got to stop. His eyes find mine and he lets out a disturbing laugh.

"I haven't been sleeping with her, I've been fucking her, there's a difference. You should know that Christian, after all you are Seattle's biggest play boy, besides Elliot that is. You have fucked more women than I have had hot dinners" He spits at me and scrubs his hand over his face. "And now that you have been through the _whole _female population you decide to move onto women that are taken. My girlfriend for example" I knew that was coming, hell I'm surprised he didn't remind me of that small fact as soon as I walked through the door.

"Brody, I know you're still pissed with Christian -"

"Pissed? No Elliot, try fucking furious, and hurt and betrayed. Only then will you be scratching the surface" His eyes find mine again "I fucking hate you, you ruined my life" _I know I did, and I will never forgive myself for it._

"I'm sorry - "

"NO! No you're not sorry you son of a bitch, were you sorry when I caught you fucking the woman I love up against a wall?" Elliot flips his head around and I know that he is confused and shocked, I never told him that part, I wanted to save Ana any more embarrassment, hell I wanted to save _myself _any more embarrassment.

"You were never meant to walk in on that, I'm sorry but I wont apologise for our relationship any more. I love her and she loves me, this isn't just a fling Brody she is it for me" Elliot turns around and mouths me '_what the fuck are you doing?'_ I know I am not helping matters whatsoever but I always feel like I have to defend myself when he brings Ana up.

"How the fuck did you know that I saw that? I know you didn't see me, you were too busy being balls deep inside _my _girlfriend.

"Fucking stop it Brody! She isn't _your _girlfriend anymore, she's mine and if I want to fuck her I will, I don't have to answer to you or anybody else for that matter!" I roar and point my finger at him the entire time, Elliot moves in front of me and pulls on my arm as if to stop me from charging towards him but I'm not going to, I just cant stand it when he _still _continues to refer to Ana as his, she hasn't been his for a long time now.

"Guys! We are getting off fucking track here, this has nothing to do with Ana!" Elliot releases my arm and stands in between us, we haven't taken our eyes off each other and if looks could kill I wouldn't even be standing right now, it sickens me how much hate I can see reflecting in his eyes but what do I expect? I know I have lost him for good and I accept that, what I won't accept is this path he has chosen to go down. "Brody, sit down" Surprisingly he does as he is told and takes a few calming breaths.

I stay near the door and lean against the wall, as I know he will flip out if I move any closer towards him, Elliot sits on the table opposite him and leans forward, bringing his face level with Brody's.

"I fired Cassidy because I knew that she had got you into a mess Brody, I knew that you had slept together and I _knew _that she offered you cocaine, you took it didn't you?" He buries his head in his hands. "You took it didn't you?" I have never heard Elliot talk so softly before, it's like he is talking to a small child.

"Brody talk to us, just tell us what happened" I see his shoulders shudder slightly and I think that he's crying for a second, but then I realise that he isn't when he moves his hands lower, so that they are just covering his mouth in a praying motion.

"I fucked her, I came here and I fucked her. She didn't say no" _Of course she didn't, she would fuck anything with a dick. _"I just needed a distraction, I needed to forget for a while. I can't even say I was horny because I wasn't, after what I just saw I was anything but in the mood for sex" He looks at me as he says that last part, so this started the day he saw me and Ana. _I did this. _"But she was here and I needed to forget, so I fucked her, right there on that desk but it didn't work. All I could see was Ana's face and it was driving me crazy, I wasn't hearing Cassidy's moans I was hearing Ana's" I feel the bile rise in my throat and my fists ball together at the side of my hips, Elliot glares at me and warns me with his eyes to shut the fuck up, I know Brody is goading me and purposely talking about Ana, but I swear I will rip his head off if he talks about Ana sexually again.

"So, what happened next?"

"I went to leave and then she stopped me, she said the real fun was only just beginning and that's when she pulled out the…the um bag of coke" His voice lowers to just above a whisper as he gazes at the floor.

"Okay, so what happened then?"

"I took it, you know I took it, Cassidy has no doubt told you everything. She showed me how and we did it right here, the high was incredible, I cant even begin to explain it. I forgot about all the shit and for once it was just me, I felt good about myself and I never wanted it to end. I fucked her again and told her that I wanted more, I would go to her apartment and we would have crazy sex before getting another hit. Is this what you wanted to hear? Because that's what happened" I cant believe how he is talking about this, it's like he thinks the way he is living is acceptable. I know my eyes are the size of golf balls and my jaw is nearly on the floor, he doesn't even look ashamed.

"And?" I know Elliot is seething, hearing Brody tell him that he took drugs in his office must have infuriated him, the sex wouldn't have bothered him one bit. Elliot can't judge people on that because he has done it more times than I can count.

"And what? We would meet every night at her place, then you fired her and she refused to see me again. Said it was too risky and that I could get caught, so she gave me the number of her dealer so I didn't have to go without" I cant fucking believe this, he sounds like he is talking about the god damn Mariners results! I turn around and lean my head against the wall not being able to look at him any longer, I barely recognise him right now. This is no longer the Brody I knew and loved, he is a complete stranger to me now.

"Brody, why? Why the _fuck _are you doing this? You are worth _more _than this"

"Am I? Ana doesn't seem to think so. She would rather be with _him _than me so what does that tell you?" He's standing now and towering over Elliot whilst pointing at me, his chest is heaving with ragged breaths and he looks like he is ready to charge for me at any minute.

"Why do you keep blaming Ana for this?" I kick myself off the wall and take two steps forward, I am trying to help him but the more he talks, the more he pisses me off. He is using my girlfriend as an excuse and quite frankly, it's a pathetic cop out. I _know _that there is a lot more to the story than this.

"I'm not blaming Ana, I'm blaming _you!_ You stole her off me, you took her and brain washed her against me. She is the only woman that I have ever loved and you fucking took her" I cant stop the chuckle that leaves my throat, this just gets better and better.

"The only woman you have ever loved? What about Evie?" Elliot jumps to his feet and I can see straight away how pissed he is with me, this wasn't part of the plan I know it wasn't, but he is repeatedly blaming me and while I know that I am partly to blame, well mainly to blame, but I refuse to be his scapegoat.

"Evie? What about her?"

"You never loved her?"

"Of course I fucking loved her, she was my first love but what I feel for Ana doesn't even compare. She was it for me"

"So why did you go back to her then?" He visibly tenses and Elliot takes a step closer, this is something that I need to get off my chest, it's been bugging me ever since he was seen leaving her apartment.

"I didn't go back to her, how many more times do I have to fucking tell you all that!"

"I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about last week. I know you slept with her" His mouth drops open and I know I've got him, he fucking slept with her and I am sick and tired of him pretending that she meant nothing to him.

"Christian-" Elliot tries to interrupt but I hold my hand up to stop him from going any further. This is where the real crux of the problem lies. This whole thing started with Evie, he drove Ana away because of _Evie._ And now he is trying to deny the fact that he slept with her again.

"What are you talking about?"

"Cut the bullshit Brody. I know that you slept with her last week, why don't you just admit it?"

"I don't know what you have heard-"

"It's not what I've heard Brody, its what I know, did you or did you not fuck your ex girlfriend?" He takes a step backwards and I know that he is shrinking away from me, that's what he does when he is feeling guilty and backed into a corner. It's always been his tell.

"What's it to you if I did? Why do you even care?" I shake my head as I hear Elliot mutter something like 'fucking idiot' under his breath. I don't know if it's me or Brody that he is referring to.

"How many times? Once? Twice? Was this the first time?" He laughs nervously clearly trying to cover up how nervous he is but it's futile, if he wasn't sweating before he definitely is now.

"You don't know what-"

"JUST answer the question Brody" He looks at me and for a minute I think he is going to cry, but he soon straightens his stance again.

"It happened once or twice yeah" He says as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Was the first time before Ana left or after?"

"Fucking after you asshole, I only went to Evie to get Ana off my mind!"

"So you never went there before? Not even in the early days of your relationship?" He blinks several times and I know that I have touched upon something there.

"No, never!"

"See, I think that's a lie. I think you and Evie had something going on right from the off, maybe it was when you and Ana weren't so serious, but there was definitely something between you two" he runs his hand through his messy hair and shakes his head repeatedly, continuing to shift from foot to foot nervously.

"You know fuck all! Who do you think you are!"

"Christian? What the fuck are you doing? This isn't helping, I didn't call you here for this!" Elliot is in my face and I reluctantly divert my attention to my brother.

"I'm trying to get to the truth Elliot, it will help him in the long run!"

"You are accusing him of cheating on his girlfriend, how the fuck is _that _going to help?"

"I'm still in the fucking room you know! And I don't need your god damn help!"

"I beg to differ Brody, you nearly crashed into a fucking wall this morning because you were that high! This has got to stop" I step in front of Elliot and stop when I am mere inches away from Brody's face.

"The way I live _my _life has got nothing to do with you…Wait a minute" His head snaps up and he narrows his eyes at me "How did you know that I slept with Evie? I never told anyone?" _Shit _"Come to think of it, how do you know any of this? You knew that I was at Ana's apartment. How?" I know I will have to tell him, there is no way that I can get out of this one after slipping myself up twice. I don't even bother sugar coating it.

"I've got security on you" After a beat, he starts to laugh, like really laugh. He is bent over holding his stomach and struggling to catch his breath, Elliot and I are just watching on not moving.

"Oh…That's fucking priceless. Of _course _you have security on me! You are Christian Grey after all, trying to control everything and everyone!"

"I don't trust you. You're not in your right mind and I wont have Ana put at risk" His laughing subsides and he stands back up straight again.

"Excuse me? You think that I would hurt Ana?" I don't say anything, I don't need to.

"I don't know, but its not a risk I am willing to take" He stalks towards me and grabs me my the collar of my shirt, he's not going for me. It's like he just needs to get in my face.

"I would _never _hurt her you son of a bitch, how could you even think that?"

"I never thought that you would do drugs Brody, but you proved us all wrong there as well didn't you"

"You ruined my life, what do you expect me to be doing? Cartwheels and fucking hand stands?" He drops me and takes another step backwards.

"Brody, it doesn't matter what any of us have done in the past. We just want to get you the help you need"

"I don't need any help Elliot! I'm fine! And do you know what else I don't need?" He flicks his index finger between me and Elliot "I don't need you two, I don't need your _'friendship' _and I don't need this fucking job. I quit" He walks over to the couch and picks up his phone and jacket. Before turning his attention back to me and my brother.

"This is the last time I set foot in this office and this is the last time that I surround myself with this bullshit. I don't need your pathetic concern and you" He looks at me and points his finger. "You keep your fucking goons away from me, if I see anyone of them anywhere near me I will call the police. I'm not in your life anymore and I will do you for harassment, you got it?" Before we can even stop him, he's out the door leaving a slam in its wake.

Well _fuck. _That went well.

**Anastasia's POV**

"Will you just get your ass out here! This could be the last chance I get to dress you up if I hand in my resignation!" I push myself off of the door frame to the fitting room and scan the area once again, checking that we are alone.

"Don't say that, I don't want to think about the fact that you could be leaving" Kate whines from behind me, she has a bunch of lingerie hanging over the crook of her arm as she walks toward room number two and knocks on the door.

"Come on Olivia, we have plenty more where that came from so just hurry up!"

"I hate you two, I don't know why you are making me do this!"

"Because, you need a reality check, you're hot and you need to realise that you're hot. Now come out and give us a twirl" We both laugh as we hear her mutter under her breath before the door eventually opens and a scantily clad Olivia steps out.

"Ooh, la, la Olivia Thomas! You little sauce pot you!" I whistle and tell her to turn around, she rolls her eyes and folds her arm against her chest. "Oh don't act so coy, you look amazing!"

"Ana's right, Blake won't know what's hit him when he sees you in that!" Her head whips up and she drops her arms, standing straight as if she is preparing for battle.

"I am _not _buying it! No way in hell"

"Don't be such a prude, you are so sexy Olivia you need to show it more" She's dressed in an iridescent bronze bra and panty set completed with a garter belt. The plunge bra is designed with three sheer part cups, embroidered with a glitter bow trim and alluring lace. She looks phenomenal in it, and it really bugs me that she can't see how beautiful she is.

"Guys, this isn't me!" Her shoulders sag and her face falls, she drops onto the ottoman in the corner of the room and buries her face in her hands "I'm just not cut out for this sexy shit" Kate and I glance at each other, sharing a secret conversation with our eyes. Our best friend is suffering with extremely low self esteem right now, she is seeing a guy who could fuck women for a living and she doesn't know how to keep him satisfied, something tells me she's doing a pretty good job but convincing her of that, is another story entirely.

"Olivia, it's not about being sexy, it's about feeling confident in your own skin. You don't see what we see" I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side, the amount of times this woman has comforted me over men is ridiculous, now I need to be there for her. "Blake _really _likes you, it's plain to see just how much" She lifts her emerald green eyes that are clouded with unshed tears and blinks at me.

"Really?"

"Hell fucking yeah!" Kate squeals as she squats down on the floor at the other side of her "Liv, you are one hot bitch and you could have him eating out of the palm of your hand, you've just got to believe in yourself"

"But what if he laughs at me?"

"Why would he laugh at you?"

"He's just so…Sexual. The first time we slept together, we were both that wasted I can barely remember it. Then the second time, I just felt so awkward and uncomfortable. He flung me around like a god damn rag doll I could barely even catch my breath!" I purse my lips to stifle the giggle bubbling in my throat, when I look at Kate I can tell that she is doing the same. The look on Olivia's face is priceless, she looks horrified at the visual she is clearly playing in her head and its all I can do not to fall apart.

"What do you mean?"

"Ana he was a cave man! He kept telling me that I was a -" She pauses and swallows audibly before shaking her head "that I was a dirty slut and that I needed a good seeing to, he pulled on my hair so hard I thought I had lost a chunk at one point! Not to mention the way he kept spanking my ass every time he flipped me over!" I double over and let out an uncontrollable laugh, I actually howl and struggle to catch my breath as I glance up and see her wide eyes flitting between Kate and I, who is in the exact same position as me.

"Why are you laughing? What's so funny?" I wave my hands in front of my face and bounce in my seat as I try and calm myself down.

"Wooo, Olivia…You're too much, god damn…Okay, okay!" I force myself to stop laughing and cough several times to clear my throat "Jesus, Liv. You make it sound like what he did to you is a bad thing!"

"Well, isn't it? He wasn't exactly gentle and caring -"

"Who want's gentle and caring? Fuck, Olivia he sounds like a _machine _in bed, this is a good thing!" I laugh as Kate widens her eyes and shakes her head in Olivia's direction.

"Kate's right, he clearly fancies the fuck out of you and can't get enough, you should count yourself lucky sweetie"

"Fancies me? Blake? _Really?"_

"Yes, really! God, damn it how many more times woman. So this is what you're gunna' do, you're going to buy this little number and you're going to give your man the ride of his life"

"_My man_?" She squeaks out and squints her eyes.

"Yes! Just do as Ana says will you!" Kate stands to her feet and cocks her hip to the side "And try on these chemises as well"

"No way! It's bad enough that you are making me get this -" She motions to her underwear with her hands and pulls a distorted face "this, thing! I am not, and I repeat _not, _getting anything else. You or Ana buy them"

"I've got enough lingerie to last me a life time, I don't need any more" Olivia turns her head and looks at me.

"Don't give me that look, I'm with Kate!"

"Oh yeah? When was the last time you got new underwear Steele?" Kate cocks one perfectly shaped brow at me as she tilts her head.

"You know, um. . . Last _week"_

"Bullshit! I bet you still have the same bras in your drawer that you wore in high school"

"Okay, slight exaggeration there Katherine but whatever, I will have you know that I bought new lingerie for Paris" Both heads whip around to look at me and I suddenly feel put on the spot.

"Did you now, you dirty little minx. What was it?"

"Victoria Secret"

"Full set?"

"Yes"

"Stockings?"

"Yes"

"Good. I taught you well. Try this on though, you'll look to _die _for in it" She thrusts a scrap of fabric at me and claps her hands, motioning for me to get a move on.

"Um, when did this become about me? I thought this was Olivia's intervention"

"This is an intervention?" Olivia gasps like it's headline news.

"I'm working Kate, I can't just swan off to try things on. It's bad enough that we are in here anyway, I feel like we're playing hooky" Kate scoffs and waves her hand at me.

"Oh, so what. What they gunna' do, fire you? You already said it yourself, this could be your last time to play dress up. Now move, get your peachy little ass in that fitting room and get sexy!"

* * *

I check the time and see that it reads 7.30. Christian arrived home from work an hour ago and told me that he was heading to the penthouse gym to work out. He looked do stressed and agitated and when I asked him what was wrong, he waved me off and left me stood in the great room with a chaste kiss, he never kisses me that softly so I knew that something was bothering him straight away. That's why I am planning a night of seduction, I need to de-stress my man and fast.

I carry the ice bucket to the glass coffee table in the centre of the great room and place it next to the platter of strawberries. I told Gail to retire for the evening and that we wouldn't be needing her services for the rest of the night, she plated Christian's dinner up and told me to reheat it for ten minutes when he wants it. But I've got a whole other menu for him to choose from tonight, starting with me.

I hear the now familiar sound of the elevator ping, signalling that Christian is back from the gym. I can hear his heavy foot steps all the way from the foyer and his breathing isn't much lighter, I make out a few muffled words and I presume that he is talking to Taylor. After a beat he comes into view, and what a view it is. My boyfriend is stood before me in all his manly, sweaty glory, he's wearing his usual workout gear, sweats and a tank top but he is absolutely drenched in perspiration, I can tell that he has pushed himself beyond his limits to get into a state like that. He looks so incredibly edible. He walks further into the room and that's when he freezes on the spot. His eyes focus on me before travelling up and down the length of my body, I'm sprawled on the couch with my legs crossed in front of me, dressed in a In Bloom by Jonquil baby doll. Black lace forms the halter bodice, that descends into a satin skirt. Leaving very little to the imagination as it pushes my breasts in and up. And judging by the carnal look on Christian's face, he's noticed that small detail too.

"Good work out, baby?" I purr seductively as I innocently twirl the ends of my hair around my finger, he blinks several times before curling his lips into a salacious smirk, taking two steps forward and stalking towards me, eyeing me like a predator would their prey right before they attack.

"It was okay. But if I knew what was waiting for me up here, I would have wrapped it up a lot sooner" _Oh god, he's using that voice! _That low, husky baritone voice that has my panties wet in a matter of seconds, not that that rule applies tonight, seeing as I'm not wearing any.

"Is that so? Why, have you seen something you like?" He comes to a stop behind me, I crane my neck slightly so that I can see him and I swear he looks even more delicious from an upside down view, his sweaty, musky, scent is invading my senses and I can feel the coil begin to tighten. He hasn't even touched me yet!

"That is indeed so, Miss Steele. Although, there's not a lot of it covered up" He whispers as he lowers his head, his lips are only inches away from mine just begging to be kissed. I can feel his breath on my lips and it's making me light headed, I tilt my neck further back and look into his eyes as I purposely start to touch myself, I bring my left hand to rest on my bent leg, starting at my knee and slowly trace upwards toward my stomach. I can feel his breath hitch on my skin as his eyes leave mine and land on my hand, I continue my journey and glaze my fingers over my lace covered nipples, circling slightly until I feel them pucker, knowing that they will be poking through the sheer material of the baby doll by now. I release a content, half sigh, half whimper and spread my legs slightly.

"I wished you had wrapped it up sooner too, I've been awfully lonely up here without you Mr Grey" I bat my eyelashes as I shuffle down the couch, resting my head on the arm of the chair as I keep my legs remained open. I bring my right arm up and gently caress his arm that is closest to me, all the while I never take my eyes away from his. His face lowers to mine further and I quickly dart my tongue out, licking his top lip, He tries to suck it but I retract it and turn my head.

"Why don't you have a shower, then we can have a drink and a chat"

"It's not a chat I want baby and you know it" Still stood behind me, he grabs my face and jerks it back to where it was roughly, before sealing his lips against mine, his kiss is harsh and demanding, he is literally swallowing my face and I can tell by his heavy breathing that he is _extremely _turned on. His left hand moves from the base of my throat and trails down my body, lightly grazing my breast before descending lower, he goes to reach for the hem of my skirt but I grab his wrist and detach my lips from his. I'm not ready to reveal that little part of the surprise just yet.

"Go shower" He smirks at me and kisses me roughly on the lips one more time before standing.

"Don't move a muscle, I want you spread out like that for me when I come back"

* * *

"I thought I told you not to move?" I hear him growl not even ten minutes later, I knew he wouldn't take long, when he stood to leave his erection damn near poked me in the eye.

"How do you expect me to pour the champagne? I can do a lot of things whilst on my back but _that _is not one of them" I turn my head and watch fascinated as he saunters over to me, he's dressed in freshly laundered sweat pants, and only freshly laundered sweatpants. His hair is still damp from the shower and beads of water drip on to his bare chest, making me want to reach forward and lick every one off.

"Oh I know Miss Steele, I am quite aware of what you can achieve whilst on your back" He drawls as he sits down next to me, I hand him a flute as he reaches for my legs and pulls them into his lap, I keep my legs shut tight, not wanting him to catch on to my panty less state.

"What's all this in aid of?" He leans back in to the chair, shifting his bottom so that he can face me more before tipping his head back and taking a sip of his champagne.

"You looked stressed earlier, I just wanted to relax you" He grins and shakes his head.

"Baby, this is doing anything _but _relaxing me. You do know that right?" I giggle and squirm as his hand snakes up my leg.

"Yeah, well you're just a horn dog" He splutters into his drink and tries to cough through a laugh.

"When I walk in on you looking like that, what do you expect baby? I am a red blooded male after all" _Oh, yes he is._

"Hmm, you have demonstrated that several times" I reach over and pick up the tray of fruit next to me, plucking a strawberry with my thumb and index finger before swirling it in the small dish of cream.

"Strawberry, Sir?" I lean forward and bring the fruit to his lips, he meets me half way and bites the tip off, looking at me intensely as he does so.

"Mmmm, delicious" Fuck, the way he licks his lips nearly makes me expire on the spot. _That tongue. _He then picks one up, repeating my motion of dipping it in the cream before offering it to me. _Let the seduction begin._

I lick my lips as I lock eyes with his, opening my mouth slightly, I fold my lips around the tip of the strawberry and hollow my cheeks as I suck the cream off gently, his pupils dilate as he watches me, I make sure I take my sweet time licking the strawberry clean before taking a bite, chewing slowly. His hand is still suspended in mid air as I chew, looking at my mouth with wide, lust filled eyes. I notice cream on the side of his hand and once I swallow I sit up and take his hand in mine.

"Oops, missed a bit" I whisper seductively before darting my tongue out and swiping it across his skin, I moan softly as I trail my tongue all the way to his little finger, swirling around the tip before taking his whole finger into my mouth. Replicating exactly what I would be doing if it was his cock in my mouth, _and right now I wish it was. _When I open my eyes, I am met with dark, stormy grey orbs that pierce through me, I flicker my attention to his crotch for a brief second and sure enough, his erection is straining against the seam of his pants, even though it is covered I can see just how big and hard he is, my mouth dries at the thought, and I feel the dull ache begin to throb in between my legs. I want him right here, right now. But I want him to literally explode with desire for me, I want him to want me just as much as I want him.

"Got it all, baby?" He cocks his eyebrow at me and I nod my head.

"Every, last drop" I lean back into the couch once again and watch as he picks up another strawberry, I thought it was my turn to feed him, but he clearly has other ideas. He shifts his weight onto his left leg and leans himself up on his knee slightly, he brings the cream covered strawberry to my mouth as he tells me to lay further down the couch, as I bring my head lower so that it is level with the arm rest, I feel the cold drip of cream hit my chest, I look up and see Christian smirking devilishly at me.

"Oh, look at that. How very clumsy of me, let me get that for you baby" With the strawberry still in hand, he bends down and laps up the cream with his ardent tongue, I close my eyes and relish the feel of his mouth on me, I can feel the wetness coat my thighs as his tongue glides over me again, and again. I yelp when I feel something cool on my breast, I glance down and quickly realise that he has managed to free me from the confines of my outfit, tracing my nipple with the tip of the strawberry, spreading the cream over my sensitised nub. He dives in, literally gobbling my whole breast into his mouth, I let out a long, low moan as he nips me with his teeth slightly, before moving on to my other breast and repeating the ritual once again.

My chest begins to heave as his sucking becomes harsher, my muscles begin to clench and I can feel desire spread me through wild fire. I lift my hips and rub against his ever present erection, desperate for some friction.

"Fuck, I love your tits Ana. I can never get enough" He groans as he comes up for air for a second, before diving straight back in there again, He's driving me wild and he has barely even touched me, my sex is throbbing uncontrollably and I can already feel an orgasm creeping up on me, his right hand cups the breast he isn't sucking, he squeezes it firmly before trailing his hand down my body, over my stomach and to the hem of my skirt, he is pulling the baby doll up as he descends lower and I soon feel the breeze hit my wet, folds as he exposes me completely. He hasn't even realised that I have gone commando yet as he is still giving my breasts all of his undivided attention. I grasp his face in my hands and pull him away, needing to feel his lips on me I drag him to my mouth and seal my lips with his. He groans into my mouth as he deepens the kiss, bringing his hand up to cradle the side of my face.

I reach for his hand and guide it to the apex of my thighs, once his fingers make contact with my sex his eyes fly open and he pulls away from my lips. He looks down and when he raises his face to mine, a salacious beam spreads across his face.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here, has my naughty little kitten gone pantyless?" I nod my head slowly and mewl softly when he drags his fingers through my folds, applying delicious pressure as soon as he reaches my clitoris "You're a dirty girl, Anastasia. Whatever am I going to do with you?" I bring my eyes level with his and stare into the depths of his mesmerising pools of grey.

"You can fuck me" His fingers stop moving and he returns my intense stare.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, fuck me. I need you to fuck me" He looks shocked. His eyes widen and after a beat he blinks, before sitting up in between my legs and ripping his sweat pants off of him, his erection springs free and I lick my lips as he takes himself in his hand.

"Is this what you want, Ana? You want me to use this?" I nod my head and moan as I watch him, he fists himself in his hand and pumps slowly. Fuck, that is the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life, he's so hard and huge and I can see him throb from here.

"Yeah? Well you can't have it yet. Not until you give me what I want" He picks up the tub of cream and pours some over the head of his dick, my mouth waters when I realise what it is he wants me to do. "Suck"

I don't hesitate, I sit up with my legs still bent so that he can see my sex in full frontal, his sharp intake of breath doesn't go unnoticed but right now I want to please him, this is what tonight was about. I wanted to relax him and take his mind off whatever it is that's bothering him. I think it might be working.

I lick the underside of his dick and swirl my tongue over the tip. I repeat this several times, ensuring that I am swiping the cream up as I go, I look up at him from underneath my lashes and see that he is watching me enthralled. I swirl my tongue one last time before taking him all the way back to my throat, his hands fly to my hair and he groans so loud that I am sure Taylor heard him.

"Fuck, Ana! That's it baby, take me all the way!" I suck him relentlessly, hollowing my cheeks with each pull so that I give him ultimate friction, he damn near releases a cry when I scrape my teeth gently before taking him in deep again. He is gripping my hair so tight it's starting to hurt slightly, but I don't care, the only thing I care about is this man in front of me, and making him come.

"Baby, enough. That's enough, I don't want to come in your mouth" I don't stop, I keep sucking, harder than I was before until he grips me under my arms and picks me up so that my face is level with his, I smirk as I wipe my mouth, just before he growls and crashes his lips against mine. He pushes me backwards and literally rips my negligee off my body. I feel desperation oozing from his every pore as he devours my mouth, cheeks, throat and breasts with his mouth, he nudges my leg open further with his knee.

"I need to fuck you now, I can't take it anymore" I don't even get the chance to reply before he stuffs his dick inside me, thrusting as deep and as hard as he can.

My head flies back as I cry out, he feels so fucking good and I know I will come any minute now, I was already dripping wet and frantic for him.

"Right there, Christian. Fuck I need you so much"

"I'm here, baby. What do you need?" His lips move to my ear and he bites down on my lobe softly.

"Just you, Christian. I just need you" A carnal roar leaves his throat as the words leave my mouth, he buries his face into my neck as he picks up speed, he drives into me with such determination and precision and I am a quivering, trembling mess of limbs in a matter of seconds.

"I can feel you, beautiful. You keep coming, I want you to come again" _Again?! I haven't even come down from this one yet!"_

He grabs my ass with his hands and bucks me into me so hard I scream at the top of my lungs, it didn't hurt. I just wasn't prepared for _that._

"Fuck! You feel so good Ana, you're clenching my dick so tight" I can already feel myself building again, it's like he weaves some sort of magic over me, he owns my body like no one ever has and ever will. He is the master and I am his servant. Willing to do whatever the hell he wants.

"I need to come, baby" He grunts out against my neck "I want you to come with me, are you ready?"

"So ready, baby. I love you" I whisper into his ear and with that, he falls apart on top of me. He shoots off inside me and that's it all it takes for him to take me with him. I am totally spent, I can barely catch my breath and I feel like I will choke on the lump that is wedged in my throat.

Christian rains kisses over my neck and face before pulling out of me.

"Jesus, fucking Christ, Anastasia. You take my breath away" I grin and close my eyes, I could just fall asleep right here, right now. That has left me exhausted.

"Ditto. I think I needed that just as much as you did" He reaches for me and pulls me into his arms. Draping the throw that was on the back of the couch over me, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead.

"I think we both needed it. Thank you, baby. I love you so much. You know that right?" I sleepily nod my head and turn my face so that I can kiss his chest.

"I know, I love you too. More than you will ever know"

**A/N - Please review! I love hearing what you guys think it thrills me no end! (:**

**Visuals for this story are available at - **Pinterest**dot**com / fifty shades 12 / forbidden lust (remove spaces)

**(All mistakes are mine)**

**MrsCTG x**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N - Have I told you all how amazing you are! I loved what you all had to say on the last chapter, you all give me so much encouragement!**

**Visuals for this story including Ana and Christian's outfit for this chapter are available at - **Pinterest**dot**com / fifty shades 12 / forbidden lust (Remove Spaces)

**Enjoy this next one guys!**

* * *

**Chapter 24 - What now, I just can't figure it out.  
**

**Christian****'****s POV**

"So, why can't you both just stay here? It's not like I don't have the room" To be honest, the thought of living with my girlfriend's father for three days scares the shit out of me, I don't think I'm quite ready to be acting like the perfect boyfriend just yet. Not in front of an audience anyway. But I know that if Ana is staying at Kate's with Ray, she won't be here with me. Call me selfish and self centred but it's bothering the fuck out of me, this is why I want her to move in with me permanently, I can only manage to be away from her while we're at work, any longer and I start to lose my mind.  
She places her sunglasses on top of her head and rummages through her purse one more time, why she needs to add more shit to the pile that she calls 'necessities' is beyond me, she could give Mary Poppins a run for her money.

"I just think it would be easier to stay at Kate's, Dad's not good with change as it is and me dragging him here will just un-nerve him more, I want him to get to know you in his own time without me forcing it" I lean against the door frame and watch her, folding my arms against my chest and kicking my foot in front of the other "It's nothing personal, Christian. My dad is just a bit…Taciturn" She slides her dainty little feet into her brown wedges and turns to face me, she looks so gorgeous. It's quite a warm day out so she's in a black, strapless maxi dress with a tie underneath the bust. Her rich, chocolate tresses are hanging in loose waves down her back and I feel like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world right now.

"Why are you grinning at me like that?"

"Huh?"

"You, you're grinning like a lunatic at me"

"I just can't help it, you're so beautiful baby" She smiles shyly before hanging her purse in the crook of her arm. I grab my wallet, phone and keys and put them in my back pockets as she reaches up on her tip toes and presses a soft kiss to my lips.

"Ready?" I take her hand as she nods and lead her to the elevator, Taylor and Sawyer are already waiting downstairs. I think they have clicked on that we like to ride down together alone, they leave a few minutes ahead of us now to give us some privacy. Wise men.

Once I hit the ground floor button I casually lean against the wall, feeling Ana's eyes on me the entire time.

"You look hot, have I told you that you look hot today?"

"You did mention it once already" I smirk at her as I turn my head in her direction.

"Well I'm saying it again, I love it when you have your chest showing like that"

I'm wearing skinny pants with a grey, mid-length sleeved shirt with the top three buttons undone. Seeing as Ana is out for the day with her dad I have decided to head to Elliot's, we have both agreed that today will be a work free day. Beer, food and maybe even shoot some hoops. Blake and Dylan are coming over and I know that we all need to have a long discussion about Brody at some point today, Tuesday didn't exactly go according to plan. I acted like an insensitive asshole and I made the situation a thousand times worse, after Brody left Elliot ripped me a new one, ten times over and then went back for more. He was furious with me and in his own right too, I totally went off track and dragged up shit that wasn't even relevant - Well, it was relevant but I still shouldn't have brought it up. Elliot demanded that I call off Brody's surveillance, I flat out refused and told him that I needed to keep a close eye on him for Ana's safety but he completely lost it with me, screaming at me saying that all I think about is myself and that I'm not helping him see that he has a problem - He _even _blamed me for Brody's addiction, saying that, and I quote '_if you hadn__'__t fucked his girlfriend and stole her away from him none of this would have happened in the first place__"_That fucking stung, I expect that shit from everyone else but never from my own brother, he apologised once he calmed down and told me he didn't mean it, I could see how sorry he was for lashing out at me, but it's left a sour taste in my mouth that's for sure. This _is _my fault. And I have to fix it.

"So, what's the plan for you and your dad today?" I open the car door for Ana before sliding in behind her.

"We'll go for lunch at _Japonessa Sushi Cocina, _Ray always likes to go there when he visits. Maybe do some shopping and then hang out at Kate's. Which reminds me, I don't want Sawyer following me today" She eyes me with a serious expression marring her gorgeous face, looking adorable as fuck.

"Baby, I don't know how comfortable I am -"

"I will be with my dad. Christian, there is no other man on the planet who I would be more safe with, other than you that is. I just want some alone time with my daddy without security tailing our every move, please" Fuck, I hate it when she gives me those puppy dog eyes, so big and blue and beautiful. God, this woman has got me by the balls.

"You fucking own me Ana, you don't leave your dad's side for one minute do you understand? I'm only agreeing to this because I believe you when you say -" She cuts me off with a wet and sloppy kiss to the lips and a dazzling smile that makes my world go round.

"I promise I'll behave, Girl scouts honor!" She holds her three fingers up and winks at me, and I fight, _literally fight _the urge to ravage her delectable little body right here in the back of the Audi.

"Do you want to do dinner tonight? Or would you rather wait until tomorrow once he's more settled in?" She smirks mischievously before letting out a small giggle "What?"

"Christian Grey, are you nervous?" I scoff and roll my eyes.

"No"

"Are you sure? It sounds like your stalling to meet my dad to me" Her smirk gets bigger and its starting to piss me off.

"Ana, drop it I said I'm fine about meeting Ray"

"Touché, Mr Grey. I have already told you he's not bringing his gun" I see her shoulders shaking in the corner of my eye as she starts to laugh uncontrollably. I huff and fold my arms, Fuck, I know I look like a spoilt brat who has just been refused candy right now, but that really hit a nerve. I don't get nervous about anything.

"Ana, will you fucking stop it. You're pissing me off" She holds her hands up and mouths 'Ooooh' at me, while still fucking laughing.

"Okay, okay. Sorry that wasn't funny" She shuffles closer to me and places her hand on my knee.

"Seriously though, I think we should wait until tomorrow night for dinner" _Is she ashamed of me?_

"Is there any particular reason why?" She tilts her head and chews her lip nervously.

"I just need to work on him a bit more, not only are you my new boyfriend, but you're my new _billionaire _boyfriend that comes with security and a penthouse apartment. Not to mention everything else that's part of the deal"

"Ana, that's all superficial shit I couldn't care less. What I do care about though is gaining your dad's approval. I want him to see how much I love you and want to protect you" She smiles shyly at me before resting her head on my shoulder.

"He will see it, I've already broken him down a bit. Once I told him you hit Adam he pretty much fell in love with you"

"WHAT? You _told _him that?" I narrow my eyes at her in disbelief as she nods like it's no big deal.

"Jesus Christ, Anastasia. Now he's gunna' think that I'm some sort of violent thug"

"No he wont, he's ex military Christian. He can shoot targets in the head without even flinching, not that he would. And he would quite easily hit anyone that even dared try to hurt me. Adam's lucky that it was you that showed up at his place, he wouldn't be walking if my dad had got hold of him"

"Can we not talk about that fucker please, he's not my favourite topic of conversation believe it or not" Just thinking about that asshole makes my blood boil, I really don't need that shit in my head on top of everything else.

"Oh stop being a crusty old grump, that's all sorted now anyway" _Not until I see the new and improved Nooz article it__'__s not, baby._

"Sorry, I'm just stressed" I lean down and kiss the top of her forehead.

"That's why it will be good for you to hang with Elliot today, you need a break from work and all that big boss bullshit" I snort a laugh.

"Big boss bullshit?"

"Yep, it's making you cranky, and I can't keep giving you sex all the time to de-stress you Grey"

"Oh no? I think that works quite well"

"You would!" She slaps my shoulder and giggles as Taylor pulls into Elliot's driveway.

"So, you'll call me later?" I turn to face her and feel a lump ball in my throat, Fuck I feel all emotional all of a sudden. _Man the fuck up, you__'__ll see her tomorrow night you pussy!__"_

"I promise, I'll call as soon as we get back to Kate's. I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too, baby" My hand reaches up to cup her cheek and she instinctively leans into my touch, rubbing her soft, warm skin on the palm of my hand. I hover over her lips slightly, giving her nose a little nudge with mine before I force our lips together. I only intend for it to be a soft parting kiss, but as soon as I start to pull away, she grabs my hair and yanks me back. Coaxing her tongue into my mouth before kissing me like she will never see me again. She moans into my mouth and I feel my dick harden, how this woman can rev me up to the point where I am close to coming in my pants just with a kiss is beyond me. She detaches her lips from mine and grins, her lips are red and swollen from our hot make out session and it's the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen.

"Just a little something to keep you going, baby" Her thumb swipes across my mouth, removing the traces of lip gloss that she had left in her wake. I know I have a dumbfounded look on my face when she giggles and places her finger underneath my chin, lifting my jaw up so that I can close my mouth.

"Fuck, Ana. Now you've given me a hard on. You know you're gunna pay for that later right?" She cocks her head coquettishly and bites her lip. Knowing full fucking well what that does to me.

"Oh, I know. And I can't wait"

* * *

I find Elliot outside in the yard fiddling with the grill on the barbeque, Cursing profusely under his breath. I slap my hand on his shoulder roughly and pat him twice. The male equivalent of a hug.

"I was wondering when you were gunna get your ass over here" I check my watch and frown at him.

"It's only 11.30am, what's your beef?"

"Exactly my point, brother. The Christian a month ago would have been here at 9am sharp, but the Christian now decides that it's okay to rock up at noon" The bastard says with a smirk, pulling a beer out of the water bucket and handing it to me.

"Dick. That was before I was waking up next to the worlds most gorgeous and sexy woman, getting out of bed is just that _little _bit harder now days" He shakes his head and grins at me.

"Whoa, you have got it bad man, I'm almost worried"

"Give it a week, you will be exactly the same way with Kate" He scoffs and his eyes widen in mock disgust, I know just how crazy he is about her. He might be an ass at times but she's it for him, there's a reason why he has kept her around for this long.

"Seriously though, things good between you two?" I lean against the table and pull my aviators on, before taking a long swig of beer, shrugging my shoulders in acknowledgment as I swallow.

"Yeah, couldn't be better. She's amazing. Like _seriously _fucking amazing Ell. I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I do Ana. Every time I look at her I swear I'm gunna' choke up, she's just…_It_. In every way" I look at my brother and see a smile tugging at his lips, I know how weird it must be to hear me talking this way about someone. A woman none the less, I was the last person in Seattle, hell I was the last person in the _world _to even think about settling down. But that was before Ana came into my life and turned it on it's head.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I see a future with her, house, marriage two dogs and a cat the lot"

"Fuck, marriage?…You haven't…" He pauses and points his finger at me, insinuating whether I have already popped the question or not.

"No, no nothing like that. It's just something that I think about sometimes" _A lot. _Marriage. Husband and Wife. Mr and Mrs Christian Grey. Anastasia Grey. _Fuck, that sounds so god damn amazing. _I shake my head to rid myself of my wayward thoughts, In all honesty I would marry her tomorrow, I would whisk her off to Vegas and make her my wife. But I know that's totally out of the equation right now, I need to get her to move in with me first.

"I'm happy for you Bro, she's a good girl. I couldn't ask for anyone more perfect for you than Ana" We both smile like fucking idiots until Elliot snaps out of it and coughs.

"Yeah, anyway. Enough of that sappy fucking bull shit. Get the hot dogs from the kitchen, I'm starved"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Blake and Dylan arrive. Dressed pretty much identical to us, although me and Elliot have taken our shirts off now. It's really warm out here, plus playing about with the ball heated things up a bit.

"Beer in the corner, Hot dogs in the kitchen" Elliot mutters, never once moving from his spot. He's reclined in the chair, legs spread and arms hanging limply over the arm rest. He's worse than a fucking woman.

"Hello to you too, Elliot. No need to get up, I got this" Dylan murmurs sarcastically before grabbing four beers.

"I'm not your Mother. You've got legs right?"

"Where are the girls?" Blake asks as he sits his ass in the chair next to me, pulling his sunglasses from the collar of his shirt and over his eyes.

"Ana's with her dad, Kate's fuck knows where and Olivia's working I think. Not sure" I notice him blink nervously when I mention Olivia's name. Ana told me they were fucking but I didn't really think much of it. I know Blake and he's not one for monogamy, even with a girl he's _just _seeing. I get the impression that she's really into him, I just hope he's not fucking her about. Olivia's a sweetheart.

"Ray's down?" Elliot asks as he lifts his head, peering at me over one of his ray ban lenses.

"Yeah, she's spending the day with him. He'll be down until to the end of the week. How do you know his name?" He cocks his eyebrow at me as if to say _'really?" _Of course. Brody. I hear an uncomfortable cough from Dylan's direction and I realise how awkward this is, I haven't really seen the guys since it all kicked off at Blake's apartment. I've only spoken to Dylan briefly on the phone.

"Right, shit yeah. Well he's here anyway. We're all going out for dinner tomorrow night"

"Big step. Meeting the parents" Blake says from beside me.

"Well in this case, just Parent. I cant see me meeting her Mom anytime soon, I get the impression her and Ana aren't that close"

"I heard she's a right bitch, doesn't really see Ana all that much" I cringe when Elliot says this, we all know what source he has _heard _that from. My stomach roils at the thought of Brody talking about Ana. It's times like this where I feel insecure, a feeling I am not all that familiar with. Brody knows Ana pretty much inside out, he knows a lot more about her relationship with her parents than I do amongst other things. _But it's you that she loves. _Elliot doesn't stop there either.

"Jumped from marriage to marriage, always put Ana second apparently. Brody told me that her second husband was a right perverted prick, he was literally obsessed with Ana. He would wait for her outside the bathroom door so he could catch her in just a towel, not to mention the times she would wake up during the middle of the night, and he would be watching her at the end of her bed. What kind of a sick fuck does that?" Even though I want to punch Elliot for talking about this in front of Blake and Dylan, and for once _again_ reminding me that Brody knows more about my girlfriend than I do. I'm desperate to ask more questions, this is the first I have heard about this and damn if it doesn't piss me the fuck off, who was this son of a bitch? And why hasn't Ana told me about him? Elliot doesn't seem to want to offer any more information so I decide to drop it, I'll get him on his own later.

"How is Brody?" _Annddddd there it is._

"Yeah, have you seen him yet?" Dylan leans forward and looks straight at me.

"I went to Grey Construction on Tuesday, we talked" I feel all three pairs of eyes train on me and me only, why am I in the fucking hot seat?

"What happened?"

"Let's just say it didn't go to plan" I hear Elliot scoff under his breath and when I look at him he's sitting up straight in his seat, taking his shades off and throwing them onto the table.

"Christian didn't exactly help matters" Fuck, throw me under the bus why don't you Bro?

"What's that supposed to mean? What did you say to him?"

"I lost it a bit, I brought Evie up and it pissed him off, then I told him that I have security watching him. That just hit the nail on the head well and truly, he stormed out before quitting his job and telling us he never wanted to see us again" May as well just get it out there.

"Whoa, back up a minute. Why did you bring Evie up?"

"He kept bringing Ana up, I know I deserved it but it was pissing me off. He was purposely doing it to goad me" I pause, not really sure if they need to know this next part, but if they want the whole story then they have a right to know "And I know that he slept with Evie last week, he flat out denied it at first but I backed him into a corner, he was seen leaving her apartment by my team and I'm pretty sure he wasn't there just for cake and a gossip" Blake shakes his head in disbelief and Dylan just looks pissed off, I don't really blame him for being angry at me. I promised him that I would help him when I phoned, I know I've made this situation ten times worse.

"He slept with her? He admitted it?"

"Christian didn't really give him much choice"

"Who's side are you on Elliot?" I spit at my brother, he's really starting to piss me off. I thought he was done blaming me for Brody's mess.

"It's not about sides Christian, he was in a mess already without you throwing that at him"

"You two shut the fuck up, did he admit to sleeping with Evie?"

"Yeah, eventually" Dylan grunts and shakes his head, whenever Evie is mentioned he clams up and loses his cool, nothing else bothers him but Evie Davis is another story.

"What the fuck was he thinking? So he cheated on Ana? A-fucking-gain!" My head shoots in his direction, and I know that Elliot and Blake followed suit. Dylan blinks several times and all the colour rushes from his face, I know he didn't mean to say that last part but he did, and we all heard it.

"Dylan?" He buries his face in hands and doesn't say anything for at least two minutes, he doesn't even look at us.

"It was right at the beginning of his and Ana's relationship, they were together for only a few weeks or so. Fuck, I never should have said anything"

"Well you have, so tell us. Did Brody sleep with Evie behind Ana's back?" He nods once before looking away again. We're all stunned to silence, I had my suspicions but hearing Dylan confirm it is shocking none the less "Did you two know about this?" I nod at the boys but they both shake their heads.

"I didn't know anything, Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" Blake fires at Dylan. The three of them were a pretty tight knit group before Elliot and I came onto the scene. I can understand why Blake is a bit put out about being kept in the dark.

"He made me promise not to tell anyone, that's why I was so pissed when I heard she was back on the scene again. He swore to me that he would never speak to the bitch again and that he loved Ana. I really believed him when he said it was a mistake"

"How did it happen?" I ask before draining the remainder of my beer. I'm really starting to need something a bit stronger.

"They bumped into each other on a night out, he said he was pretty smashed and didn't remember how it happened, all he remembered was waking up the next morning in bed with her at her place" My grip on the empty bottle tightens, Brody fucked his slutty ex even though he had Ana, he had the most beautiful and amazing girlfriend yet he went back to her and betrayed Ana's trust. He never deserved her in the first place, he was hurting her even then.

"Who the fuck was he out with? Why didn't they stop him leaving with her?" Elliot yells louder than I think he meant to.

"Your boys from the yard, it was a bachelor party or some shit like that" I can see the wheels turning in Elliot's head as he tries to back track.

"Paul's. I remember now, I didn't go in the end. I was that close to though, fuck I should have gone and then it never would have happened"

"Maybe not that night Elliot but it would have somewhere else down the line, those two are like fucking magnets, they just can't stay away from each other. Why the fuck didn't he just leave Ana? Was he that much of a selfish prick that he wanted both of them?" My voice raises with each question, the thought of him disrespecting my girl like that makes me feel sick.

"He loved Ana, he knew he had made a mistake and didn't want to ruin what they had by telling her, he swore fucking blind to me that he would never speak to her again" His face is reddening as he speaks, this explains why he was so pissed off when Evie came back into the picture. We were all angry but Dylan looked like he was about to pop a vein. "So was he having an affair with the whore like Ana suspected?"

"I don't know, he said that it was just this time. He said it was to get his mind off of Ana" He snorts and lets out a laugh.

"That boy always did think with his dick, and now what? He's into fucking drugs and fucking random women that are probably riddled with all sorts of shit. I could wring his god damn fucking neck!" Dylan stands abruptly and storms inside. Brody is like a brother to him, he's like a brother to all of us and it's devastating watching him go down this route. No matter what he has done in the past.

"I'll go" Blake disappears after him leaving me and Elliot in silence. This conversation turned on it's head in a matter of seconds.

"He'll be alright, this is just a shitty situation" Elliot tells me like I don't already know "Did you tell Ana about talking to Brody?"

"I thought about it" _But then she seduced me and I fucked her into oblivion, multiple times. _"I didn't really know what to say, I promised her that I would help him. She would be furious with me if she knew I let him leave without anything being resolved" He nods at me but I can tell he's thinking how fucking whipped I am. I know I'm being a coward, but we have had one argument too many this past week. I've only just properly got her back.

"Are you gunna' tell her. . You know about what Dylan just said - "

"And say what? "Oh baby by the way, everything that you thought was true. All those times you thought there was more going on between your boyfriend and his ex? Yeah you were right" I cant tell her. She will feel hurt and humiliated, even more than she already does after what happened at the Coping Together event"

"She has a right to know, maybe it will give her some sort of closure, you just said that she has had her doubts and insecurities. Can you imagine what it must feel like not knowing?" He's right of course, he's always fucking right. I just don't know if it will do her any good knowing that she was cheated on. Who the hell wants to know that?

"I'll think about it. Elliot?" He looks at me and pushes his wayward hair away from his eyes. "What else do you know about Ana's time with her Mom? She never talks about it, I never even knew about her step father and that pisses me off" He looks to the floor and then back at me. Looking unsure and dubious.

"I don't know much, Christian. Just what I told you, Brody didn't go into details"

"Why would he tell you about that though? Surely it should have stayed private"

"I honestly can't even remember what we were even talking about for it to come up, I should have never even said anything. Especially in front of Blake and Dylan that was really insensitive of me"

"They probably all know, it sounds like everyone knows more about her than what I do" I pick up the beer that Dylan gave me and take a long pull. Yep. Definitely needing something stronger.

"I doubt it, Brody is hardly the type to go gossiping"

"Ell, we didn't think he was the type to cheat on his girlfriend and snort coke but he seems to be surprising us a lot lately don't you think?" He reclines back in the chair and tilts his face towards the sun again.

"Maybe, but I still don't think he would have said anything to anyone" We sit in silence for several minutes.

"She never talks about that part of her life you know. Her Mom is a touchy subject and she clams up whenever I mention her, I just want to understand her better"

"She probably just doesn't like talking about it, it sounds like she went through a lot of shit when she was younger"

"But she told Brody. She clearly didn't mind talking about it with him" I can hear how whiny I sound and I feel like a fucking spoilt child, jealous and petulant and I hate it. But why won't she talk to me? Am I that unapproachable?

"You don't know that Christian, we don't know why or how she told him. Just talk to her, and not in that accusing way that you're used to, talk to her like a human being. I know that's not something you're used to" _Dickhead _"You probably just scare her away with that face you pull all the time"

"What face?"

"You know, that face that makes you feel like you're a kid again about to get scolded" He contorts his face into a distorted expression as he tries to mimic me. He just looks constipated.

"Fuck off, I do not look like that. It's called authority Elliot, something that _you_ are not used to"

"Hey, I can be authoritative asshole. I do run my own company in case you have forgotten" I scoff sarcastically and roll my eyes.

"Yeah, just. It's more like a day care centre down there, and that's on a good day"

"At least I don't have a stick shoved so far up my own ass that I don't know how to have a good time"

"Oh we all know how you like to have a good time Elliot, there's a reason that you hired a female assistant"

"You're hardly a fucking virgin"

"I've never fucked my assistant"

"That's because you're a fun sucking prick. You won't even let me fuck her -" He's interrupted by Blake coming back outside.

"Chris, Dylan want's a word" I glare at Elliot and stand to my feet, I get to the door when I yell over my shoulder.

"Don't fucking call me Chris!" I find Dylan in the kitchen, his palms are resting on the counter as he braces himself against it, his head downcast as he looks at the floor.

"Dylan?" He lifts his head and looks at me. He looks angry, as well as defeated and overwhelmed. "Blake said you wanted me?" He eyes me before nodding once.

"I want to know what your plan is?"

"My plan?" He nods again.

"Brody. What do we do? Because I haven't got the fucking foggiest" I walk towards him and lean my ass against the same counter where he is stood and cross my arms.

"I wish I knew. Like I said, Tuesday didn't go-"

"Forget about Tuesday, we need to think of something else and pull together so that he gets the help he needs. Because I fucking refuse to watch him kill himself" I pinch the bridge of my nose and inhale a deep breath.

"Do you want the truth?" He doesn't respond so I can only guess he nodded "I don't think I'm the one to help him"

"What the fuck do you mean? If anyone can it's you. Blake and I might have known him longer but you're his boy. He looks up at you like a brother"

"_Looked _at me like a brother. I betrayed him Dylan, after what I did with Ana -"

"That's irrelevant Christian, you have to forget that right now and be there for him"

"How can I forget about it when it's the reason that he's even in this mess"

"It's not"

"It is, I fucked his girlfriend and then took her away from him. I fell in love with her and took her away from him, I didn't even give him the chance to try and get her back"

"Christian, you and Ana fell in love with _each other. _It wasn't all you and you know it, yeah it was a shitty situation but it was it was"

"I don't think Brody quite thinks of it like that" I glance at him and see him shaking his head.

"I know you think that you are the reason that he's done to himself but it's not, okay it wouldn't have helped matters but it's not the reason"

"What does that mean? What else do you know?" He doesn't say anything, he just shifts from foot to foot and I know he's thinking about what to say "Dylan?"

"He got into trouble with drugs once before. Back in college, not cocaine but other shit. Marijuana went round campus like it was fucking candy, he always said no until he had a huge bust up with his parents. You know what they're like, they never approved of him wanting to go into construction, they refused to support him through college and one day they just…Cut him off. They told him that he either comes home or they wouldn't pay his tuition fees. So either way he would have to go home" Brody never once told me this. He always said he understood how I felt when I would tell him about my dad not supporting me, but he never once elaborated.

"Then what happened?"

"He went home. He had no choice, he couldn't afford to stay on by himself. I will never forget his face when he told me he was leaving, I begged him to stay, I _begged _him. But I soon realised how ridiculous I sounded, he couldn't stay even if he wanted to. He was gone for about three months, we would speak on the phone but other than that nothing. Then he re-enrolled himself, once his parents split he went to stay with his dad, you know he never got along with his mom not really. I think that was what he had in common with Ana, they both came from familiar backgrounds. Anyway, his dad agreed to give him another shot, he let him come back and that's what he did. But he was different"

"What do you mean?"

"He was short tempered. He would sleep in all day and be out all night. We all partied back then, fuck, there wasn't a weekend that went by where we weren't wasted. But Brody was different, I caught him smoking pot at a frat party and went ballistic. He brushed me off and told me it was just that once but it wasn't, he would drink every single fucking day and smoke that shit until he couldn't even stand. He never took anything else other than that but it was enough, he got the buzz for it and it took him a long time to get his ass in to shape. It was only when he started failing that he realised what a prick he was being, it took him a while but he finally got sorted. He told me all about what happened when he was away, he had to watch his parents go through a messy divorce and he thought he would never be allowed to go back to college, he was in a fucking rut and he had no one. If I'm being honest, I've been waiting for this day to come" He scrubs his face over his hand and shakes his head. I know I am stood here with my mouth wide open. I cant fucking believe that he has already been through this once. Did I know him at all?

"That's what I mean when I say this isn't all down to you, this is his coping mechanism and it's the only way he can control his life. He feels alone, just like he did in college. We've all abandoned him one way or another, I should never have ignored him for as long as I did. I was just so pissed at him. But we have to so something now" He looks at me with a devastated expression spread across his face.

He has already had to watch Brody go through this once, and now he's back in the same predicament. But this time it's worse, he's into fucking cocaine and he's in deep.

"So? What are we gunna' do? I cant lose him Christian" Fuck, he looks like he's about to cry. His voice wobbles as he brings his hand to his mouth. I bring my hand to his shoulder awkwardly and rub it firmly, I am the worst fucking person to deal with shit like this.

"Hey, we won't lose him. We'll get him help I promise"

**Anastasia's POV**

"Daddy!" I fly into my father's arms as soon as I open the apartment door, He wraps both arms around me and lifts me off of the floor. It feels so good to hold him.

"I've missed you so much baby girl" He pulls back so he can kiss my cheek but I tighten my grip around his neck even tighter, not ready to release him yet.

"I've missed you too, I cant believe you're here" _Anddddd queue the tears_

"Hey, no crying now Anastasia Steele. I didn't come all this way just you can cry on me" He pulls my arms from around his neck as he sets me back on the floor. Bringing his hands up to my face, he wipes the tears from my eyes and smiles at me.

"I'm sorry, I've just missed you so much" I sniff and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. _So attractive._

"Ditto baby. But I'm here now, and I don't want to see any more tears okay?" I nod and reach to up so that I can kiss him on the cheek. His light stubble chafes against my lips but I relish it, it brings me comfort knowing that my daddy is here with me.

"Okay I promise, are you hungry? I thought we could do the sushi bar that you love?" He grins at me like a little boy and my heart melts, I love seeing him smile.

"You bet, you know the way to my heart Annie. Are you ready?"

"Where are your bags? Don't you want a coffee first, we don't have to rush"

"Bags are in the car, I'll get them later. I would have a coffee but I know you're only gunna' give me that decaffeinated crap so I'll pass. And that sushi bar is why I'm here, other than you baby. So lets get a shift on" I slap his chest and pout as he laughs at me.

"Too right it would be decaf. But okay, let's go. Let me just run to the bathroom and fix my make up"

I dab concealer under my eyes and touch up my mascara, crying is never a good look. I throw my make up back into my purse and decide to shoot a quick text to Christian.

_**Dad's here. Heading for lunch now, will call you tonight. Missing you already. **_

Not even a minute later my phone beeps with his response.

_**Have fun baby. I miss you too. I love you, you know that right?**_

Huh? What made him say that?

_**Of course I do. I love you too, talk later handsome.**_

_**Laters my beautiful baby.**_

As soon as I manage to pick my swooning ass off the bathroom floor, I make my way back to my dad who is waiting for me near the door. Twirling his car keys around his fingers.

"Okay I'm ready" I say brightly as I swing my purse over my shoulder. My dad looks at me before breaking out into a proud beam.

"What are you smiling at?"

"You're so beautiful Annie, I can't believe how grown up you are now"

"Okay, no more of that you'll make me cry again. Let's go"

* * *

"It all looks so good, what are you having dad?"

"All of it" He laughs and rubs his hand over his jaw "The salmon and tuna maki rolls are looking pretty damn fine though"

"Mmmm good shout. I'll go with that too. Sake?"

"Always"

As we eat we talk about anything and everything, my dad is usually so reserved and quiet but once he's around me he doesn't stop talking, it's like he's in his element and I love it. We have always had an amazing bond, he's been my only constant in my life and I don't know what I would do without him. Personally I think the motto _'the only man a girl can trust is her daddy' _is so damn spot on and couldn't be anymore true where Ray and I are concerned.

"I just thought I would have heard by now, it's been three days"

"That doesn't mean anything Ana, I have every faith in you and so will they. Give it time they'll call you" He reaches for my hand and presses a kiss against my palm. Something that he used to do when I was little. He know it comforts me even at twenty three years old.

"I hope so, I want this job so bad dad"

"I know you do, and you're gunna get it. I didn't raise you to be so negative on yourself now did I?" He looks at me sternly even though I know he doesn't mean it. Ray is the last person to ever raise his voice or get angry, I've only ever seen him lose his temper once, and I would really rather not think about _that._

"No, you didn't" I smile at him as I stroke his cheek tenderly "How are you doing dad? You feeling okay?" He grins and shakes his head.

"You do know you ask me that every time you speak to me don't you Ana?"

"Yes, I am quite aware smart ass. I'm just asking, you know how I worry"

"I know you do, but you don't need to I'm fine. The doctor says everything's working as it should be and there are no problems, as long as I keep my blood pressure low I'll be fine"

"What are you eating?" He lets out a loud laugh and shakes his head at me again.

"Who is the parent here me or you? I'm eating fine Annie"

"Are you sure? Are you steering clear of butter still? And beer what about beer? Remember you need to be getting your Omega 3 and eating more vegetables -" He places his hand over my mouth to shush me whilst still laughing.

"Seriously Ana, you will be the one getting heart disease if you carry on fretting like this. I'm a big boy I can feed myself you know"

"As long as you are feeding yourself the right foods dad, you shouldn't even be eating this really" I gesture to the plate of food in front of him just as he takes a bite out of his Tofu roll.

"Technically, this does contain vegetables so I'm okay" I roll my eyes as he laughs, I'm glad he finds this funny. I couldn't bare to go through any of that again, it nearly killed me last time. I really thought I was going to lose him. He must pick up on the depressing direction my desolate thoughts are heading in because he wraps his hand around mine and squeezes tightly.

"I'm sorry baby girl, I shouldn't laugh I know how much you worry about me. But I'm fine, I'm still having my regular check ups and I promise that I would tell you if there was something to worry about"

"Promise?" He smiles and kisses my palm again.

"I promise. Now enough of this chatter okay?" I nod and force out a smile, the last thing I want to do is think about how I nearly lost my dad. Not a place I like to revisit very often.

"So, come on. I'm dying of suspense here" I frown at him not knowing what he means.

"Christian? You haven't told me anything about him yet?" I wondered how long it would be before this came up.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Now it's Ray's turn to frown.

"Of course I do. He is the man in your life after all, I want to know all about him" I can't help but smile, I've been wanting to tell my dad all about Christian but held off because I wasn't sure if he wanted to know or not.

"Well, he's twenty-seven. You've seen him in the papers, so you already know he's a successful businessman" Dad whistles through his teeth and nods.

"I did see that, intelligent young man by the sounds of things"

"He's amazing dad, he built it all up by scratch and he's doing incredible, it baffles me sometimes when I think of what he's already accomplished"

"Well I'm impressed, I admire anyone that works hard and sticks at it" I smile and nod my head, I know just how much of a compliment that is coming from Ray.

"He actually reminds me of you in many ways" He turns his head to looks at me and raises his eyebrow with an intrigued grin spreading across his face.

"Oh yeah? Which bit? Being a billionaire or the devastatingly good looks?" I giggle and push my hair out of my face.

"Oh all of that, no I mean his compassion. The way he stands up for what he believes in and never backs down no matter how many people he pisses off on the way, not to mention that he would do anything to protect me" Boy would he! But I've come to love that about him, I can see how much it pains him to think of anyone hurting me and I would do anything to take that pain away from him. He loves me and I'm seeing it more and more every day.

"That's all I want, someone to take care of my baby and keep her safe. That's why I never liked that shmuck Adam, he was a selfish prick and I knew he would never put you first. Brody on the other hand, he had a bit more about him and I could see how much he adored you" My heart sinks when he mentions Brody, there is no way in hell I am telling dad about him using. He would kill him and then go back for more just to make sure he got the job done.

"Speaking of Brody dad, there's something else about Christian you don't know" That's got his full attention, he leans forward and rests his weight on his elbows, motioning for me to continue with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, here's the thing. Christian and I met through Brody" That sounded pathetic. _Just fucking tell him._ "They are. . . Well they _were _sort of, kind of best friends" I close my eyes so that I can't see the disappointed look in my dad's eyes, It sounds slutty and deceitful and I dread to think what he must be thinking about me right now.

"Best friends? What do you mean?"

"They met each other around five years ago, long before I even came onto the scene. Around a month ago, Brody introduced me to his friends for the first time. I had held off meeting them for so long because well, you know how shit I am at meeting new people. Sorry for swearing, anyway, Christian was there, we clicked straight away and at first I thought it was just a crush but then I would be around him all the time and my feelings started getting stronger. Brody and I were going through a lot and we weren't doing good, we eventually split and that's how Christian and I got together. I know it sounds really slutty and evil but I couldn't help it dad, I was falling out of love with Brody and in love with Christian, I know you must be thinking -"

"Ana! You're rambling, calm down and take a deep breath" I feel the first tear roll down my cheek and not because I'm sad about the situation, I have accepted that for what it was, people change and you fall in love with different people, there is no helping that whatsoever. No, I know the tears are because I'm afraid I have disappointed my dad. I fucking _hate _letting him down.

"I'm sorry, I know you must be so ashamed of me right now"

"Why would I be ashamed of you?" His thumb reaches up as he swipes the tear from my cheek "And I thought I said no more crying?"

"Because, what I did was really immoral and deceitful? I hurt Brody and destroyed a friendship" Oh shit, another tear. And another one.

"Annie, you didn't do anything wrong. Were you afraid that's what I would think?" I nod, feeling pathetic.

"Never baby, I could never think bad of you do you hear me? You fell in love with someone who just happened to be close to your ex boyfriend, don't beat yourself up over it what's done is done"

"You're not mad?"

"No, Ana I'm not mad. Do you want to talk about Brody? The problems you were having?" I shake my head as I wipe my tears away, scanning the restaurant and hoping that no one is looking at me.

"God, I would be here all day. There's no point in rehashing all of that now dad, it's finished with"

"Does he make you happy? Christian I mean" I smile through my tears and nod.

"So happy, we're still getting to know each other and it's all really new still but he's amazing. He's it for me dad, I just know he is"

"Well, like I said before. That's all I could ask for, someone who makes my girl happy"

"He does, I told him that we could do dinner tomorrow night, is that okay with you?"

"Absolutely, now I cant wait to meet him" He smiles widely but it disappears from his face as quickly as it appears. "Ana, does he know? Have you told him?"

"Told him what?" He tilts his head at me and searches my eyes, for what I'm not really sure.

"About Morton?" My heart drops into the pit of my stomach just at the sound of his name resounding through my ears, my dad's voice was barely above a whisper but he may as well have yelled it through a mega phone. I feel my heart rate begin to pick up but I take a deep breath and try to stay calm.

"No, no I can't. I can't tell him dad-"

"Shhh it's okay, baby. I just wondered that's all, don't get upset. But why haven't you mentioned it? you said that he want's to protect you -"

"That's exactly why I haven't told him, he will hit the roof and then look for him. I know he will dad, and he'll find him. He's Christian Grey he has the resources to find anyone"

"Is that such a bad thing?" His voice is laced with venom and I can see his chest start to heave with ragged breaths "I know you didn't want to re live it all again but he's still out there Ana"

"Don't you think I know that!" My voice raises several octaves more than I wanted it to, and I realise I have now attracted the unwanted attention of the other diners. "Sorry dad, I didn't mean to shout" He reaches for my hand again and squeezes.

"No, I'm sorry Annie, I never should have brought it up"

"No, you were only asking, it's not like I don't want to tell him dad. I just _can't _tell him. I don't want him to look at me differently, or treat me differently. I love the fact that he just see's me as Ana" I hear my voice shake and I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the sob that wants to come out. "I'm just Ana to him, not Ana the -"

"It's okay sweetheart you don't need to say anything else. You go at your own pace okay? You'll know when the time is right to tell him, and from what you have told me, I don't doubt for a minute that he won't treat you any differently, he loves you any fool can see that" I feel my lip quiver and the lump begins to form in my throat, like there is a huge pill lodged down there that won't shift.

"I love him so much dad, I just don't want to hurt him by telling him"

"I understand baby, now lets leave it there okay? I have seen tears falling from your beautiful eyes today more than I have seen over the past year and I don't like it. Shall we go home, watch a movie and eat rubbish? Well, you can eat the rubbish and I will stick to the carrot sticks" He pulls a disgusted face and I giggle, that sounds like the best offer I have ever had.

Although I suddenly start to feel the yearn for Christian, I want him to hold me and tell me that he loves me. I _need _to hear him tell me that he loves me. But I don't want to leave my dad, and I will quite happily settle for his arms around me right now. I need his comfort just as much as Christians.

"Perfect idea daddy"

**Brody's POV**

The walls feel like they're closing in on me, all I want to do is sleep. Fuck I could sleep for days, I am so fucking sick of feeling like this. This is the worst part. The comedown.

Even though my body feels like it's ready to shut down, my head is screaming at me to get up. Another line is what I need, I look to the right and see Cassidy passed out on the couch in just her bra and panties. Now that I know Christian's fucking pricks aren't watching me, I phoned Cassidy and told her to get her ass over here and to bring a hit with her. She pissed me the fuck off when she said no, telling me that someone somewhere would be watching but I told her to get a grip. Since when did she give a fuck about the consequences? It's safe to say that she soon changed her mind when I told her I wanted to fuck her, once I explained how hard my dick was for her she was round here so fast I barely had time to hang up.

So that's what we did, I fucked her brains out up the wall, In the kitchen and then on the couch before taking a line. She rambles like a fucking budgie and it's so god damn annoying, I never noticed how whiney she actually sounds and I have been around her for over four years.

"Here, drink this. It will make you feel good" I try to give her a tumbler of vodka but she just moans and swats my hand away, burying her face into the couch further. I toss the liquid back and grunt through the burn, so fucking good. I rub my face and lean back into the cushion behind me, pressing play on the sound system remote and closing my eyes. _Sleep, I just want to sleep._

_I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat,  
__I shouldn't be crying, tears were for the weaker days, I'm stronger now,  
__Or so I say, but something's missing_

_Whatever it is, feels like it's laughing at me through the glass of a two sided mirror,  
__Whatever it is, it's just laughing at me,  
__And I just wanna scream, _

Through the foggy haze I hear my phone vibrating, I blindly reach for it even though I know full well I wont be answering it.

I blink and see Dylan's name flashing across the screen. He can take a fucking hike, bastard hasn't wanted anything to do with me this past week so why should I bother with him. As soon as it stops ringing it beeps alerting me to a text. _Oh, just fuck off! Sleep, I just want to sleep._

_**Brody, answer the fucking phone! If you don't I will just come round there.**_

Yeah good luck with that one dickhead. So much for fucking friendship, he has been completely MIA ever since Ana left me. _Ana, my baby, my beautiful baby. _I can see her face as clear as I would if she was stood in front of me right now. Fuck, I miss her so much. Every time I think about her I feel like I'm gunna' pass out, I'm so sick of it hurting. So sick.

_What now, I just can't figure it out,  
__What now, I guess I'll just wait it out, wait it out,  
__What now, what now,_

I don't understand why she left me? We were so happy before that fucking son of a bitch took her away from me. This is all _him, _she was mine and he took her from me, turned her against me and convinced her that I was fucking Evie behind her back, Ana would never think bad of me I know it was all him brain washing her, I gave her everything and she knows it. I hate him so much. I hate him so fucking much. I loved him like a brother and now I hate him. I hate him more than I have ever hated anyone or anything in my life.

_I found the one, she changed my life,  
__But it was me that changed,  
__And she just happened to come at the right time,  
__I'm supposed to be in love but I'm numb again, _

_Whatever it is, feels like it's laughing at me through the glass of a two sided mirror,  
__Whatever it is, it's just laughing at me,  
__And I just wanna scream_

My phone rings again and I see that it's Dylan, he just can't take the fucking hint.

"Fuck off!" I scream making Cassidy jump.

"Whoa, keep it down!" She shifts so that her head is resting on my lap, I want to push her away. Tell her to get the fuck off me but I don't, she's the only person that understands me right now. She gets what I need and knows that only the cocaine will give it to me, that rush. That feeling of invincibility, there is nothing fucking like it. She knew I needed it, I needed it to forget and she gave it to me. _Forget Ana. _

_What now, I just can't figure it out,  
__What now, I guess I'll just wait it out, wait it out,  
__What now, please tell me, what now_

It doesn't help me forget Ana though, nothing does. Not the high, fucking Cassidy, the vodka, fucking Evie or any one of those whores at the bar help me to forget. What I need is Ana, she's the only one that can help me. _Sleep, I just want to sleep._

_**I'm fucking serious Brody, I'm giving you ten minutes to ring me back or I'm coming over. I just want to help.**_

Fuck him and fuck his help, I squeeze my phone before throwing it across the room. Watching on as it makes perfect contact with the wall and smashing to smithereens.

_There's no one to call, cause I'm just playing games with them all,  
__The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone,  
__Cause I spend every hour just going through the motions,  
__I can't even get the emotions to come out, dry as a bone and I just wanna shout _

_What now, I just can't figure it out,  
__What now, I guess I'll just wait it out, wait it out,  
__What now, somebody tell me, what now_

The picture of Ana and I sits in front of me, larger than life and twice as loud. Her eyes are boring into me and I swear she can see right through me, if she was here she would be yelling at me, telling me to clean up and take a shower. But she's not here with me, she's with him. Fucking him. Sucking his dick and making him come. Fuck, this hurts. It hurts so bad.

_I don't know where to go  
I don't know what to feel  
I don't know how to cry  
I don't know, oh, oh why_

She's supposed to be with me, we had so many plans. I take a long pull from the vodka bottle and try to numb myself, I need to prolong this high so that I don't feel the sheer utter fucking heartbreak that consumes me every single day of my pathetic life.

_I don't know where to go  
I don't know what to feel  
I don't know how to cry  
I don't know, oh, oh why_

I love her. I love her. She's mine. I need to get her back. She's mine. I love her. She's mine.

_I don't know where to go  
I don't know what to feel  
I don't know how to cry  
I don't know, oh, oh why, so what now_

I need to get her back, she will make all this go away. My Ana. Mine

_Sleep, I just want to sleep. Sleep._

**A/N - Song - Rihanna - What now **

**(All mistakes are mine)**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N - Sorry for the wait guys! This a slightly longer chapter so it took more time to get up, I have my chapters already outlined and summarised but they take a lot of tweeking and editing before uploading.**

**Once again your reviews blew me away.**

**Bostonstrong - It does not make you a bitch whatsoever! Brody has brought this on himself, he has been blaming everyone else when in actual fact it's all him. Now it's been revealed that he did cheat on Ana when they first got together we know that he is not a saint. And no one forced him to take the cocaine in the first place! ****Read on to find what happened between Ana and Steve Morton.**

**Twinkleeye - Nope! Drugs are never the answer, so glad you are enjoying this story.**

**Dublingirl - Thank you so much! I have always loved Ray and Ana's relationship so I knew right from the off that he would become a strong fixture in my story. Brody was a silly boy wasn't he! And I know right! That shirt is hotttttttt! Haha**

**Guest - (what an absolutely delicious treat) Thank you! Need to throw a lemon or two in every now and again ;)**

**Check out my Pinterest page for visuals for this story - **Pinterest**dot**com / fiftyshades12 / forbidden lust (Remove spaces)

* * *

**Chapter 25 - Keeping her safe **

**Anastasia's POV**

"Arghhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" My dad comes barrelling round the corner and scans the room with a panicked look on his face. Kate bursts through not ten seconds later in just her shorts and oversized tee shirt, hair wild and un-tamed with her toothbrush hanging from her mouth.

"Jesus Annie, what's the screaming about?!" They both look on in confusion as I bounce on the spot, clutching my phone to my chest whilst squealing like a pig being strangled.

"I got the job! I got the god damn job!" Dad pulls me into his arms and whoops, he actually whoops and swings me around, laughing like a school boy. Once he puts me down Kate grabs onto me and takes her turn in the squealing and shrieking.

"I knew you would! I just knew you would! I'm so proud of you baby" He tucks me under his arm and kisses my forehead, I can't stop smiling. I cant believe I finally have the job of my dreams, two years I have waited for this and now it's really happening. Someone really needs to slap me "When do you start?"

"Next Monday, I will be training for the first week and then it's all go from there"

"Nice one, Steele. Although I can't believe you will be definitely leaving me at work, I'm gunna' miss you so much" Here comes the infamous Bambi face, I see her eyes fill with tears so I walk over to her and fold her into my arms, kissing her cheek and whispering into her ear. She will be fine although I know this is like the end of an era. Nordstrom is where we met and if it wasn't for Kate, I would have given up years ago and be god knows where right now. Our lives are changing a lot, we both have new boyfriends, I have a new job and soon a new apartment will be thrown into the mix as well. It's all changing but I couldn't be more happier.

"You know this doesn't change anything between us right?" I pull back from our embrace and push her crazy hair away from her forehead, I see Ray moving into the kitchen through the corner of my eye. Probably uncomfortable with the direction this conversation is heading in. Women crying and getting emotional has never been one of my dad's strong points.

"Really?"

"I promise, we are dating brothers after all" She giggles and wipes a fallen tear from under her eye.

"True. I better be your Maid of Honour!"

"There will be none of that thank you very much Katherine!" My dad hollas from the kitchen, I think Ray would have a panic attack if I came home engaged before I was thirty. Or pregnant, pregnant and engaged, God he would be back in hospital if either one of those happened.

"I really am happy for you sweetie, I know how much you wanted this" I grin at her and pull her over to where dad is sat, propped up against the breakfast bar grimacing as he sips his coffee, his decaffeinated coffee.

"What do you want to today daddy? You got anything in mind?"

"I'm easy Annie, there's a game on at midday, So after that I'm all yours" I can't help but smile, my dad loves me but not quite as much as he loves The Mariners.

"Okay, I think I might go and see Christian at work if you're okay here on your own for a while?" I feel the slight blush creep onto my cheeks and I haven't got the faintest idea why, I guess it's just because it's my dad, I can't help but feel like his little girl whenever I'm around him even though I am a fully grown woman in a serious and committed relationship.

"I'll be fine Ana, you go and do what you need to do, I'll still be here when you get back" I kiss his cheek and ruffle his hair.

"I'm just gunna' get dressed then I'll fix us some breakfast. I'm thinking of viewing an apartment I've got my eye on later if you want to come?" He smiles and nods.

"You bet, I don't want my little girl living any old where"

"Are you kidding me?" Kate screeches mid chew "First the job and now you're looking at a new apartment?! You sure know how to kick a woman when she's down Steele!"

A bagel, one grey baggy tee and a pair of denim shorts later I'm ready to go. Sawyer is waiting for me as soon as I step out of the apartment door, casually leaning against the SUV watching the traffic. Doesn't he ever get bored? How long has he been waiting out here for me?

"Good morning Miss Steele" _Polite as ever._

"Morning Sawyer, how long have you been here?"

"Only half an hour, Mr Grey instructed me to be on hand if you and your father wanted to go anywhere today" _So much for relenting on security._

"Actually, it's just me today. I'm heading to GEH to see Christian I have something important to tell him" I don't know why I feel like I have to explain myself, he's my boyfriend and if I want to go and see him then I will.

"Very well Miss Steele, I will let Taylor know we are coming"

"Do you mind if we don't tell him? I want it to be a surprise" He eyes me sceptically before nodding and opening the back door, one of these days I'm hoping to crack a smile out of him. He's what? A man in his late twenties yet he acts like a forty year old, I get that he has to be professional and all that _blah, blah, blah. _But would it kill him to laugh every once in a while? I wonder if he has a girlfriend? There's no ring so he's definitely not married, he's really hot so he can't be single surely? But then again he was camped outside my apartment at 9am this morning, where would he tie a girlfriend in with his stupidly demanding schedule?

As we cruise through the early morning traffic my phone starts to ring, I rummage through my purse with haste thinking that it might be Christian but my heart sinks when I see my Mom's name on the screen. Why the hell is she calling me? I haven't spoken to her in well over a month, and even then it was the quickest conversation of my life. My thumb hovers over the accept button before curiosity finally gets the better of me. May as well see what she wants.

"Hello?"

"Ana! I didn't think you were going to pick up" Her sickly sweet voice rings through my ears and I feel my stomach churn "How are you sweetie?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Oh fine, keeping busy you know me. What have you been up to? I saw you in the paper with that delicious young man of yours" _Bingo! _Of course she has seen me, I'm actually surprised that she hasn't phoned me sooner, her one and only daughter is dating a gorgeous billionaire. Why else would she be calling? _Dumb ass._

"Did you?"

"He's gorgeous Ana, where on earth did you find him?" I inhale a deep breath and lean my head against the backrest, she hasn't even asked what happened between me and Brody?

"We met through mutual friends" _Not a complete lie _"Was there something you wanted mom?"

"No, just wanted to catch up with you honey, I miss you" _Of course you do._

"Yeah me too, listen I have to go mom I'm swamped over here. Talk soon okay"

"Okay sweetheart, I'm thinking of coming down to see you soon, I need to spend some time with my daughter, and well, I'm dying to meet this new man of yours. You've hit the jack pot there Ana, you will be taken care of for life with that one" My throat tightens and I feel my eyes well with tears. Christian is the only reason that she wants to see me, what does she think is going to happen? Does she expect him to write a cheque out for her there and then? She no doubt feels like she's owed something for raising me alone, _not completely alone though was she? _I screw my eyes shut and breathe through the sobs that threaten to rack my body.

"Okay. I'll call you soon, Bye" I don't even give her a chance to reply before I hang up and throw my phone across the seat, I can't believe her, I can't believe her audacity. She hasn't bothered to contact me in well over a month and now she does? All because of my celebrity boyfriend. Anger sweeps through me and takes over my train of thought, not only because she is selfish and quite blatantly doesn't give a rats ass about me, but because she has automatically accepted Christian due to his status, he could be an asshole for all she knows? She doesn't know a thing about him yet she is literally booking a plane ticket as we speak _just _so she can meet him. I feel sick, bam goes my fucking good mood.

"Miss Steele? Are you okay?" I raise my eyes to the rear view mirror and lock gazes with my security.

"I'm fine, Sawyer. Just feel a little light headed that's all"

"Would you like the window open Ma'am?"

"No, no I'll be fine honestly"

Thankfully the drive isn't too long, Sawyer pulls into the entrance to GEH and I swear my eyes pop out of their sockets. _Holy mother of balls! This place is huge!_Admittedly, this is the first time that I have seen the building in person. Once Christian and I met, I couldn't resist searching for him on Google, I wanted to know more about him and I was so embarrassed that I was the only person who didn't have a clue as to who he really was or what he did.  
Sawyer comes to a stop right in front of the glass encased doors and tells me to go in while he parks the car, apparently they will know who I am when I give them my name at the desk, of course they will. I have been plastered and demoralised all over the god damn press lately after all.

Inside it's all white, and sandstone. It looks so clinical and instantly reminds me of Escala, clinical but beautiful, one thing I know for sure about my boyfriend is that he doesn't like colour. He likes his interior décor to be clean and simple, in some respects he likes things to look cold, lacking warmth and personality. I plan to change that, not here of course but definitely at the penthouse, it needs some life bringing into it and fast, he's not a bachelor anymore.  
I'm greeted by a beautiful, twenty-something blonde, smiling at me warmly as I approach the front desk.

"Good morning, Miss Steele" _Jesus Christ she knows who I am already? _I expected her to recognise me once I had given my name but this, jeez this was fast.

"Oh, good morning. Um I'm here to see Christian, I mean Mr Grey. Is he around?" Why the fuck am I stuttering like an idiot? I feel ridiculous seeking permission to see my man but I get that it's nothing more than procedure here.

"Go straight up to the twentieth floor Miss Steele, Mr Grey's assistant will take care of you" She beams at me once more and I don't know if it's because it's her job or just because I am the boss' girlfriend, but she is so over friendly it's nauseating. Sweet girl, but I can't stand the false smile that is permanently fixed on her lips. Now, I have worked in retail, and I know you have to be an ass kissing leach even if you can't stand the prick in front of you. But it's still sickening.

"Thank you" I turn on my heel and head to the elevator at the end of the lobby, where a group of men are congregated. They're all dressed in sharp, black suits and talking amongst themselves discussing things I couldn't even begin to understand, it's all numbers and statistics. All four heads whip in my direction as I come to stand beside them and press the call button, I smile slightly and focus my attention on the steel elevator doors in front of me, willing them to open with my eyes as the feeling of uneasiness washes over me. I can feel they're eyes roaming over me and I regret my choice in outfit now, these shorts aren't indecent or flashy but I know that they are looking at my legs and it's making me feel really uncomfortable. I inwardly breathe a sigh of relief when the third elevator opens and I pray that they aren't going to step in with me, thankfully they don't, I hear one of them mutter '_That's Grey's new girl. Lucky son of a bitch" _as the doors close. I lean against the railings to calm myself as I am whisked to the twentieth floor. What fucking perverts. Who the hell stares at a woman like that without even having the common courtesy to say hello first? Pigs.

Christian's floor looks exactly the same as the lobby downstairs, white and sandstone. I roll my shoulders and stalk towards the reception desk and try to look confident, I'm completely out of my comfort zone here. There are impeccably dressed women everywhere, beautiful and graceful and I feel anything but right now, I'm not a shy person. I have never felt insecure about my looks or body image and I know I can hold my own, but who wouldn't feel nervous around all these stunning women? And why the hell _are they all women? _Why doesn't Christian have any male assistants or secretaries? The thought is an unpleasant one but I banish it completely, they are _not _here for _that._

I lean my hands against the desk and smile confidently at the blonde in front of me, almost identical to the one downstairs. She's dressed in a tight fitting pant suit, and even though she's sat down I can see that it hugs her curves perfectly.

"Good morning, welcome to Grey Enterprises Holdi…Oh! Miss Steele I am so sorry, I didn't recognise you for a moment there" Her cheeks flush as her gaze sweeps over me, clearly embarrassed but there's no need. She doesn't know me, it's not like I'm offended she didn't know who I was straight away, I'm not god damn royalty for crying out loud.

"You must be Andrea?" She nods and stands so that she can shake my hand, I was right. She looks phenomenal.

"Mr Grey is in his office, would you like me to take you through?"

"Umm, if you just point me in the right direction I'm sure I'll be okay" She motions towards a set of double doors to my left and tells me to just go straight through. Surely I should knock first? Then I pull myself together and remember that I'm his girlfriend, I don't need to knock.

I glance behind me and see that Andrea has busied herself with the computer screen in front of her, I ruffle my hair with my fingertips and smooth out my shirt before quietly pushing the door open.

He's sat at his desk, hunched forward and immersed in the paperwork that's in front of him, clicking a pen in his right hand as he runs a long finger across his lower lip, he hasn't noticed me yet so I admire him for a few more seconds. He's dressed in a charcoal grey suit, no tie though today. He looks unusually casual for a work day but still unbelievably hot. His hair sports the famous just been fucked look and I can only imagine that he has already ran his hand through it numerous times this morning.

"Good morning handsome" His head snaps up and the frown that was etched across his beautiful face slowly turns into a smile, actually more like a grin when he sees me stood at the threshold of his office.

"Ana, what are you doing here?" He throws his pen onto his desk and pushes his chair backwards before standing and walking over to me.

"I wanted to see you, I haven't interrupted anything have I?" Once he reaches me, he grabs my hips and pulls me roughly against him, crashing his lips down onto mine. His tongue instantly finds mine and I melt into his hold, it hasn't even been 24 hours yet but fuck have I missed him, the feel of his lips sends goose bumps down my arms and if he didn't have his arms wrapped around me I would be a puddle of limbs on the floor. After what feels like hours, he detaches his lips and drops his forehead to mine, I can feel his warm breath on my now wet lips and I want nothing more to attack him right here and right now.

"Nothing, and I mean nothing is more important than you, I've missed you" He gently nudges his nose against mine and my heart sores, how can a gesture as gentle as that make me feel euphoric?

"I've missed you too, you look stressed"

"I am stressed, I've already had the morning from hell and it didn't help that I slept like shit last night"

"Why didn't you sleep well?" He bends down and nuzzles my neck as he wraps his arms around my lower back, I run my hands up and down his biceps softly before resting them around his neck loosely.

"Because you weren't in bed with me. I've told you baby, I need you with me all of the time, you relax me in a way no one else can" I giggle and kiss his cheek.

"I should hope so Mr Grey, that's my job and my job only" He snickers against my neck before pulling back and leading me to the leather couch in the corner of the room.

"I don't just mean the sex, Ana. I mean all of it, I need to feel your presence around me, I don't know how I physically managed to cope without you in my life for this long. I just need _you _baby.

I scoot closer towards him and palm his cheek, circling my thumb against his freshly shaven skin.

"Christian, you have me. I'm not going anywhere" He smiles softly but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, he leans into my touch and presses a soft kiss to my hand.

"You know what I mean Ana, I want you with me _all _of the time. I want you to move in with me" I drop my hand into my lap and release an exasperated breath, this again?

"Christian, I thought that we had already been through this? It's too soon"

"No it's not, I love you and you love me. We want to spend our lives together so what the hell are we waiting for? You being at Kate's with your dad has made me realise just how much I need you with me" What do I even tell him? That I'm petrified if I move in with him our relationship will crumble before it's even began? That deep down I want nothing more than to spend every waking minute with him but I'm too afraid to? Because the last thing I want is to ruin what we have, I have rushed into this decision once before even though I _knew _that it was too fast. Okay, granted what I feel for Christian is worlds apart compared to what I felt for Brody, I know that this is the man I want to be with forever but I refuse to risk what we have.

"I just don't want to lose you, we haven't even been together for a month yet, we're still getting to know each other -" He silences me with the tip of his finger, pressing it to my lips halting me mid sentence.

"I know what you're going to say, that we haven't known each other long and it's too much too fast but, Ana" He twists his body so that he is facing me completely and lifts his hands to my face, cradling my cheeks and neck with his large palms "You're it for me, I love you so much and I want to start building our future together, just you and me" He leans in and kisses me softly, I want to cry. I can feel the love for me radiating off this man in spades, he adores me and I know he would do anything for me, I _want _to live with him and I fucking hate myself for being this scared and pathetic.

"I'm not saying no, Christian. Just give me some time okay? I was actually going to look at a place later with my dad" His eyes widen and a look of panic spreads across his face "But I'll hold off, I won't look for anywhere until I have thought this through properly"

"Promise me you won't view it" It amazes me how he can transform from a confident and strong master of the universe, to a small and scared young man who constantly needs reassuring.

"I promise" I place my lips on his and softly kiss him, it's a comforting and calming kiss, telling him that I love him, and that I'm not going anywhere. I just need time. He groans into my mouth and snakes his hand into my hair, tugging at the nape of my neck so that he can angle my head, probing my tongue with his he deepens the kiss and pushes me into the plush leather of the couch.

"I love you" He breathes out gruffly in between kisses, his lips move to the corner of my mouth, travelling lower until he reaches the hollow of my throat. My breathing becomes harsher as his hand comes to rest on my clothed breast, he squeezes gently and I feel his erection against my thigh. He's hard and heavy and I can tell from his breathing just how turned on he is. "Have I told you how fucking amazing you look today, your legs go on for miles in these shorts. "He plays with the hem of my shorts and slides his finger underneath slightly, stroking my bare thigh sending shivers through my whole body "You are so fucking sexy, Ana. And you're mine. All mine"

I moan and tilt my neck to the side, allowing him easier access as his kisses turn more harsh, he nips and sucks along my collarbone as he lifts my shirt up, tracing my stomach with his fingertips. Fuck, it's like he knows exactly what to do to me. He has barely touched me and yet my body feels like it's on fire. My hips begin to rock against his thigh, desperate for some friction.

"Are you wet?"

"Yes" I half moan half whisper as he continues to suck and nip at my skin, he's working me up and he knows it. My eyes are closed and my hips are still grinding against him, I need more. I need to feel more.

"How wet? Tell me?"

"Christian -"

"Tell me, baby. How wet are you for me? I want to hear you say it" Jesus! It's like his words are attuned to my libido, the inferno spreading through me at a rapid pace. His voice is low, raw and filthy, and so god damn hot.

"I..I, Fuck, Christian!" I can't even manage to form a coherent sentence let alone tell him how much he turns me on, I feel his hand fumble with the button on my shorts as my breathing accelerates, one minute we're having a serious conversation and the next he is sexing me with his mouth and hands, this man is mercurial at it's best and I love it.

"What, baby? What do you want?" I lift my legs and spread them as his hand snakes into my panties, I think I could come just by him doing this, being without him for the night has made me a needy, horny, mess and it's quite embarrassing really, I'm literally at the end of my rope and moments away from begging him to fuck me. I know he's turned on but for some reason he's holding off on me, taking his sweet time in torturing me and making me explode with desire.

"I don't think we need these do we?" He whispers hotly into my ear as he slides my shorts, along with my panties down my legs. They get caught on the buckle of my wedges so I help him by reaching down and untangling them, kicking them off my feet and bringing my legs up again so I can wrap them around him, he shifts so that he is in between my thighs and fuck if the seam of his pants doesn't feel good against my throbbing sex. His lips return to mine in a searing kiss and our teeth clash as we fight for dominance. I bring my hands to the waistband of his pants and shakily undo his belt before sliding the zipper down, I reach inside and take a hold of him. He's so hard and I know he's just as turned on as I am.

"Fuck, Ana. I love it when you touch me" His voice sounds like a cry, he closes his eyes and lowers his face into my neck as I fist him in my hand, pumping him slow and steady, I've noticed that's what he does when he's really aroused, it's like he can't look at me and if he does he'll detonate, it's a heady feeling knowing that I do that to him and it fuels my desire ten fold.

"I need you, Christian. Fuck me please" He groans low and long into the crook of my neck and thrusts his hips into my hand roughly.

"Fuck! I love it when you tell me what you want, say it again"

"Fuck me"

"Again" I release his dick and curl my hands around his neck, lifting my lips to his ear as I rock my sodden sex to his hips.

"Fuck me" That's all it takes. Without lifting his head he pulls himself out of his pants fully and impales me with one sharp thrust. I close my eyes and bite my lip to stifle my groan as I'm not sure if everyone outside this door can hear us or not. Christian bites into the flesh on my shoulder, no doubt doing the same thing. He stills for a minute and I feel him take a deep breath before he pulls out of me, he pushes back into me at an agonisingly slow pace and I can feel every inch of him fill me. Fuck, he feels so good. He's amazing every time but this is just something else entirely, this is what being apart from him does to me.

"You're so wet, baby. I can feel you quivering already, don't come yet. Hold it" _Hold it! _How the fuck am I supposed to do that when he is moving in and out of me like that, his thrusts are so deep and precise and he is connecting with my g spot every damn time.

"Christian, the door. It's not locked"

"Shhh, it's okay baby no one will come in, don't worry. Just feel me Ana, feel how much I love you" I close my eyes and swallow the groan that is bubbling in my throat, when he says things like that I'm weak and powerless to resist him. He maintains the slow and smooth pace that he has set, never once speeding up or losing control, his face is still buried into my neck and his breathing is harsh and heavy. He's controlling this fuck, he wants it to last and he knows if he goes any faster it will all be over.

"I love you so much, Ana. So fucking much" He says with a grunt and slides his hand down my body, resting it on my ass so he can lift my hips into his, perfectly timed as he drives into me once more.

"I love you too, I love you, I love you, I love you" This is so carnal, so hot and naughty and just the thought of an office full of people outside this door as we fuck feeds my libido even more, his entire weight is pressed into me and I can feel his stomach undulate as he rolls his hips into me.

"Christian, I'm gunna' come…You're making me…" I don't even finish my sentence before the waves course through me, gripping me like a vice and refusing to let go. I tremble beneath him as the spasms consume me, vaguely aware that Christian is shuddering on top of me before going slack. Shit that was good.

I stroke his hair as his breathing slowly returns to normal, he grunts and shifts his weight onto his forearms so that he can look down at me, his forehead is sweaty and he has a few strands of hair stuck to his clammy skin, I reach up and push them away from his eyes as a shy smile curls at the side of his mouth. Mirroring my own.

"Fuck, you're amazing. So amazing" He strokes my cheek softly as he pulls out of me and sitting up, leaving me feel empty and bereft.

"Even when it's limp it's impressive" I smirk as I lean myself up on my elbows, watching as he tucks himself back into his pants.

"I know I'm a big boy, you're a lucky girl" I lift my leg and lightly kick him as he laughs.

"Conceited ass. Now let me up, have you got a bathroom here? I need to clean up"

"Over there, baby" He pulls me up and swats my ass I stand and walk away.

Five minutes later I emerge, Christian is on the phone and motions for me to sit back down. There is a bottle of water on the table and I assume that he left it there for me, I twist the cap and take a sip as I lean back into the couch and watch him.

"Not fucking good enough, I want the revised contracts on my desk by the end of the day" He barks into the receiver before slamming it back down.

"I thought you would be relaxed after that little rendezvous?" He looks perfect once again, his suit is straightened out and his hair is back to it's normal state, although now it's worthy of it's just fucked title, you would never even be able to tell he was having sex with me not even ten minutes ago.

"Baby, you relax me no end. But there are always fuckers like that to piss me off again. How do you feel?" He perches his peachy little ass on the ends of his desk and folds his arms against his chest, smirking at me like the little shit that he is.

"I feel fine, you?"

"Fucking amazing. _You _can come to my office every morning and do that" I shake my head and stand, now that we have got _that _out of the way. I set out to do exactly what I came here for.

"There's something that I need to tell you"

"You want more already? Baby, I'm not a machine" I swat his chest and settle myself in between his legs as he rests his hands on my hips.

"Shut up, this is serious"

"Okay, that's gotten me interested. What is it?"

"I received a phone call this morning" He cocks his eyebrow at me and motions for me to elaborate with his hand.

"From SIP" A proud smile creeps onto my face and there's nothing I can do to stop it. His eyes widen as he clicks on to where I am heading and before long he too, is smiling.

"And? Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I nod as the shit eating grin remains on my face, Christian wraps his arms around me and picks me up, I fling my arms around his neck as he swings me around. Laughing as I giggle.

"You're fucking kidding me! You got the job? Fuck, baby that's incredible" He cups my cheeks and smothers me in kisses "I'm so proud of you, why didn't you tell me as soon as you got here?"

"I intended to but you distracted me"

"Jesus that is so amazing, when do you start?"

"Monday"

"Perfect. That leaves me with a whole weekend for us to celebrate, and I intend to spoil you rotten" I roll my eyes and tuck a tendril of hair behind my ear.

"Christian, you don't need to-"

"Shush that mouth, we're celebrating. Starting with tonight, I've made reservations at the Mile High for 8.30. Is that good for you and Ray?" He is so god damn adorable.

"Perfect. And speaking of Ray, remember he'll be here until Sunday morning, so whatever you have planned for just the two of us will have to wait" I kiss the tip of his nose.

"I know I can wait, what I cant wait for though is getting you back in my bed. It's so big without you"

"Oh you poor little rich boy" I comb my fingers through his hair and peck his lips with mine "I'll be back before you know it. Now I've gotta' go, will Sawyer be waiting outside?"

"Yeah, I've just phoned him he's with the car. Come on, I'll walk you to the elevator" I pick up my purse and take his outstretched hand, all eyes land on us as we exit his office. I can't help but feel under the spotlight. Did anyone hear us? Fuck I hope not I would never live it down.

Andrea smiles at me briefly before flicking her gaze back to her paperwork.

"I have a question"

"Oh yeah? What is it?" I glance up at him as we walk.

"Why are all the women that work for you blonde? And why are they all women?" He snickers and grins as we reach the elevators.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Just an observation" I shrug my shoulders "Now tell me"

"I don't know, it's not like I made it a specification or anything, and actually I do have a red head and a brunette that work in legal"

"Oooh wow, two women in this entire building that aren't blonde" He mouths a sarcastic _ha-ha _and pulls me towards him.

"Miss Steele, you wouldn't be jealous by any chance would you?" I scoff and roll my eyes.

"No not one bit. Although I'll rip they're hair out if they ever come on to you" He full on belly laughs and shakes his head.

"Baby, I don't even look twice, and they know better than to flirt with the boss, they know their place and they value it" I fiddle with the collar of his shirt and frown.

"Have you seen you? There's not a woman in the world that is immune from your charms and good looks" He smirks and raises his eyebrows at me, I glance around the office and sure enough, all eyes are trained on us watching our every move. It's unnerving.

"Good looks huh? I'll remember that" He reaches out and presses the call button before grasping my face and kissing me like his life depends on it.

"Christian" I breathe out once he comes up for air "Everyone's looking at us"

"I don't give a fuck, this is my building and you are my girlfriend" He kisses me again and this time I melt into it, I still feel every pair of eyes boring into us but Christian's right, he owns this place and what he says goes.

"Now go before I drag you into my office and fuck you again" He murmurs against my lips as the elevator dings, alerting us of it's arrival.

"Yes, sir" With one final peck I step into the cart and give him a seductive wave as the doors close. And just like that, my good mood is back.

**Christian's POV**

Well fuck, do I feel better for that or what. That woman is like a fucking balm, she relaxes and calms me every time just by being around me. The hot sex might have had something to do with it as well though.

I'm so proud of her for getting the job at SIP, I knew just how badly she wanted it and the triumphant look on her face went straight to my fucking heart, she's proud of herself and so she should be. She took the first step into getting the career she has always wanted and it's also the first step into our future. I just wish she would agree to move in with me, she wants to I know she does I don't know why she's fighting it. I get that she's scared, so am I, but it feels so right and natural.

Even though I have a permanent grin on my face thanks to my gorgeous woman, the feeling of dread and apprehension continues to consume me. Dylan phoned my office first thing this morning, he went over to Brody's apartment last night and found him crashed out with fucking Cassidy next to him practically naked. He couldn't rouse him and I can only imagine how scared he must have been, he said he picked his fucked up ass and dragged him to his car. When I asked what he did with Cassidy I could literally hear the resentment and hatred in his voice. He said he left her there and I quote "To fucking rot hopefully"

I'm so relieved that Dylan has stepped up to the plate, maybe now he will get the help that he needs. Brody doesn't want me or Elliot anywhere near him, understandably too. Even though Dylan explained all about his drug addiction at college, I still blame myself for pushing him down that road again. No matter what anyone says I will _always _blame myself for his downfall.

I plan on filling Ana in once Ray has gone home, I don't want her to worry herself and spend the weekend upset, I have vowed to be more honest with her and I promised her that we would communicate more, but I still think that I should wait for the right moment to do so.

Taylor steps into my office at noon precisely so we can discuss the agenda for the week, I'm planning on taking Ana out on The Grace this Sunday, I promised her that we would celebrate and this is how I intend to do so, I can't wait to see her face.

"Complete all the usual security checks, I don't expect Gail to work so I'll need Marian to be on board with us, I don't want Ana in the kitchen for the whole day, even though I know she would be in her element. Inform Mac of our arrival"

"Yes sir, will you be requesting the private room at the club tonight?"

"No, I think her dad will be more comfortable on neutral ground tonight, I think I would as well come to think of it" He nods at me.

"May I ask if Miss Steele was okay, Sir?" Why the hell would he ask me that?

"Yes, she was fine. Why do you ask?"

"Permission to speak freely Sir? I nod as the feeling of unease washes over me, whenever Taylor asks for permission to speak freely he is always about to either rip me a new one, or rip me a fucking new one.

"Sawyer told me that Miss Steele received a phone call from her mother on the way over here, and that when she hung up she looked upset and washed out"

"What were they talking about?"

"I don't know for sure, Sir. Sawyer said that Ana was quiet and short and only gave one or two worded replies, it was quite clear that she didn't want to talk to her mother. Miss Steele said she was feeling light headed when he asked if she was okay, but he suspects she said something to upset her" _Fuck, fuck, fuck! _Okay he didn't rip me a new one but I would rather he had of done, what the hell did she say to Ana? She seemed fine when I saw her, but maybe that was all an act? I run my hand through my hair and shake my head.

"And you don't know what was said?"

"No, Sir. Sawyer couldn't quite hear or make out the topic of conversation"

"Right, thank you Taylor. That's all for now"

This has been on my fucking mind since yesterday, ever since Elliot said what he did all I can think about is Ana and her step father, it's no secret that she doesn't get on with her Mom but why? And why didn't she tell me they spoke? Especially if it has upset her. She refuses to talk to me about this part of her life and it pisses me off, I want to help her and be there for her but she wont let me. Maybe I can ask Ray tonight? A bit sly of me I know but the not knowing is killing me, I could just pull up her background check and have Welch dig into it but I refuse to do that without giving her a chance to confide in me. She's not some employee she's my girlfriend and I need for her to talk to me. I just need to be patient.

* * *

I have never felt so fucking nervous in all my life, I fiddle with the cufflinks on my jacket for the umpteenth time tonight as I wait for Ana and her dad to arrive.  
This is it, I'm finally meeting him. This will be the first time I have ever met a girlfriend's parent and I'm petrified, well that's granted considering Ana is my first and last serious girlfriend but still, my heart is hammering in my chest and I feel my hands start to clam up. What if he hates me? What if he thinks I'm not good enough for his daughter? What if he tries to take her away from me? I take a deep breath and tell myself to get a fucking grip. I'm Christian Grey, I don't do nerves and I don't do being scared, I just have to show him that Ana is my life, and she is. I would do anything to protect her and I want him to see that.

Taylor informs me of Ana's arrival after what feels like hours when in reality it's only been ten minutes or so, I stand just as Ana rounds the corner with her father next to her. Fuck she looks so beautiful, she's wearing a monochrome skater dress that fits her like a glove, her hair is pinned up loosely with soft wavy tendrils framing her face and she literally takes my breath away, she beams at me when she sees me and I instantly relax, the power of Ana strikes again. She grabs on to Ray's hand and practically drags him across the room to our table. This is it.  
To my surprise Ana places her hands on my chest and presses a firm kiss on my lips, I didn't expect her to even touch me whist being in her father's presence, being a daddy's girl and all that.

"Hi" She whispers against my lips and smiles brightly at me.

"Hi. You look stunning, baby" She grins once more and turns to her dad.

"Christian, this is my dad, Dad, this is my Christian" _My Christian! _My heart just stopped beating, actually stopped beating. I don't know what I was expecting but I cant help but feel surprised when Ray pulls me in for a hug, slapping me roughly on the back in the way only men do.

"Good to finally meet you son, Ana has told me all about you"

"Good to meet you too, Ray and likewise. She never stops talking about you" Ana smiles shyly and reaches up to kiss him on the cheek and I can see how close they are straight away, he looks at her with such adoration and love and I know right there that this girl is his life, just like she's my life.  
He's a good looking guy, well built and fit. It's clear that he was a military man, just like Taylor he stands straight and poses a protective stance that I can guess only comes naturally to him.

"Let's sit shall we, what would you both like to drink?" I pull Ana's chair out for her and kiss her cheek softly as she sits.

"Whatever you're having Christian is fine with me"

"Baby?" I look at Ana and have to literally swallow the lump in my throat when our eyes lock, I can't get over how beautiful she is. It's like every time I see her I'm reminded of the small fact over and over again, she's gorgeous and she's mine.

"Wine is good for me, you know what I like" I motion for the waiters attention and almost instantly does he make his way over to us. At least it's not that preppy little fucker that couldn't take his eyes off Ana last time we were here.

"Cabernet Sauvignon please. A bottle" I reach over the table and interlace my fingers with Ana's. I'm surprised with myself at how affectionate I am being with her, when she met my parents for the first time I was all over her, fuck I even fingered her in the kitchen not giving a fuck who could hear us. But there's something different about being around your girlfriends father and being touchy-feely. I can remember the time Mia brought her boyfriend over for the first time, the poor fucker sat stock still all night when my dad was around, he didn't even dare look in Mia's direction.  
The small remainder of anxiety that I was feeling slowly ebbs away throughout dinner, we talk about how I started my business, Ray's time in the army and my favourite subject of all, Ana's childhood.

"As soon as she could talk the word 'no' was at the top of her vocabulary, that and going 'la,la,la' whenever she would hear music, and she used to have this cute little dance where she would stand on the spot and bend her knees as she bounced slightly, her hands would be balled into fists in the air as she would try to sing. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen in my life, she would do that at least ten times a day until she was three" I'm nearly bent over the table in hysterics as Ray talks, he even mimics some of the actions he's describing and it's all I can do not to fall off the damn chair, I look at Ana and she has her arms folded against her chest with a pout on her sexy as fuck lips, she does not look the smallest bit impressed.

"And don't even get me started on when we were trying to potty train her"

"Dad, seriously! You're going to start talking about that right now!"

"Don't get all antsy Annie, it's a cute story"

"It is not cute, Christian doesn't want to hear about this anyway do you?" She glares at me and fuck if it isn't the most adorable thing in the world.

"Actually, I think I would" I feel her heel connect with my shin and I groan out loud as I reach underneath the table to rub where she kicked me "Now I know I definitely would" I narrow my eyes at her and mouth 'Don't be a baby" but I just get a scoff and an eye roll in return.

"It was impossible, she would never tell us when she wanted the toilet and when we tried to put her big girl panties on she would scream bloody murder, yelling '_no, daddy, no, me don't wanna" _Ray mimics her in a whiney voice and I almost lose it. She still does that now.  
In the end we had to bribe her with candy just so we wouldn't have to change her ten times a day, it was an ongoing battle and after what felt like years she finally relented and used the potty all on her own" By this point Ana has her face buried in her hands, shaking her head to and fro as Ray talks.

"Dad, please stop now" Ray laughs loudly and I have to literally wipe my eyes with the fucking napkin as tears are nearly falling down my face.

"I'm sorry baby, you were just so adorable as a kid I cant help but relive it" Once Ray calms himself down he reaches over and presses the tip of his finger against her cute little button nose "Seriously though, Annie. You were the light of my life growing up, you still are but you have no idea how much joy you bought me as a little one. Just picture her Christian, up until she was five she came no higher than my knee, she had the same big blue eyes as she's got now, and boy did she have me wrapped around her little finger"

I smile as I picture Ana as a child, I have no doubt in my mind that she was gorgeous, my mind wanders to the possibility of us having a daughter and what she would look like, would she look like Ana? God, I hope so. I can't imagine anything more perfect than having a little girl that looks just likes my baby, she's so god damn perfect it scares me. Men want to fuck her and women want to be her, a fan club page has already been created for her on the internet and she has only been known publicly for just over a week. It follows what she wears and where she goes, the restaurants that we eat at and picture after picture of her has been uploaded, at first I was pissed and felt like it was an invasion of her privacy but Elliot told me to get a grip and be proud, my woman has captured the hearts of Seattle in the space of a week and everyone loves her, I still ensure that it gets checked out daily just so that nothing bad can be posted about her, but so far it's full of nothing but praise.

"Daddy, you'll make me cry if you carry on talking like that" I see her eyes shining with tears and I snake my hand under the table so that I can squeeze her knee reassuringly.

"I'm just telling the truth, I want Christian here to know what an amazing woman he has found in you, but something tells me that he already does" He nods at me and winks and I know that was his way of saying I have his approval, I feel the ball form in my throat as I nod back and I have to breathe through the outstanding emotion that I am feeling right now.

"Right on that note, I'm going to the bathroom before I really do have a melt down right here at the table. Feel free to talk about me while I'm gone" She kisses Ray on the cheek first and then me before walking across the restaurant floor, she moves with such grace and ease and I cant take my eyes off her, neither can all the other fuckers in here. I notice one guy check her ass out so blatantly that his girlfriend slaps him across the head and calls him a pig. _She's mine._

"She means the world to me Christian" I'm snapped back to reality as I hear Ray from in front of me, I look at him and see that he too is watching Ana walk away "No doubt you have already picked up on that already but she does, she will always be my baby girl even when she's married and has babies of her own" His eyes flicker towards mine and he points as he tells me "Don't get any ideas just yet mind you, she's still so young and even though being a parent brings you a lifetime of joy and happiness, I want her to live her life first, do all the things she wants to do and see all the places she wants to see" I can only nod, I want that for her too, I have been thinking about marriage a lot lately and not even ten minutes ago I was picturing what our children would look like, but I know it's all a long way off. I cant promise I will hold off on the marriage front but I decide to keep that to myself.

"I love her so much Ray, I want you to know that I will always protect her and take care of her, on that you have my word"

"I don't doubt that for a minute Christian, but I've seen my baby upset one too many times and I refuse to see it again" I take that as my gentle warning not to hurt her, but the part I heard the most was that she has been upset one too many times.

"Ray, I need to ask you something, and tell me if it's none of my business but I'm desperate to know. What happened when Ana was a teenager? I know that you and her mom divorced and that she re-married several times but that's it, I kind of get the impression more went down than what she is letting on but she won't talk about it with me. What happened?" Ray closes his eyes and when he opens them they look blank.

"Christian, that's not for me to tell you. Ana needs to talk to you about what happened not me" He picks up his half full glass and swirls the remainder of wine as he gazes intently at it.

"So something happened? Look I know I'm asking a lot, but I'm going out of my mind thinking the worst here, did someone hurt her? Did one of her step fathers hurt her?" He slams his glass back onto the table and for a minute I think he's going to rip my head off, but instead he releases a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I can't tell you son, I just can't. All I will tell you and Ana would kill me for even saying this, but you seem like a good kid and I can see just how much you love my daughter. Something _did _happen, there was an incident with her step father when she was fourteen. You need to talk to her though Christian, I do think she should tell you but if and when she does is down to Annie. Just be patient okay?" I feel like the room is closing in on me, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach returns and my ears ring with an incessant buzzing.

_Something did happen. Incident. Step father. Fourteen. _

The words roll around in my head for what feels like forever, I can hear Ray talking to me and I see him pour a glass of water before standing and placing his hand on my shoulder, I feel sick. I am now definitely thinking the worst and all sorts of images are conjuring up in my mind. Was she molested? Or worse was she…_Raped? _I have to fight the gag in my throat when I think of that possibility and only once do I calm down when I hear my angels voice in my ear.

"Christian, are you okay?" I turn my head and she is sat beside me once again, her hand is stroking my cheek and her eyes are filled with love and concern, worry is etched all over her beautiful face as she scans my own, looking for something, _anything _to indicate why I am damn near hyperventilating "Christian?"

"I'm fine, baby. Sorry I just came over all funny for a minute there. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I came back from the bathroom and you were sat here stock still not moving, you were breathing heavily I thought you were having a panic attack, are you sure you're okay? Dad, what happened?" She turns to Ray and to his credit he doesn't look guilty, I need for him to cover for me, if he tells her what we were talking about I'll break down right here and now.

"He told me that he was feeling warm and light headed, I gave him some water and he soon calmed down, don't worry, Annie he's okay" She doesn't look convinced, she looks from her father to me and back again until finally nodding and relaxing into her chair once more. I need to get her alone and soon, I can't go on not knowing for a minute longer.

"Shall we order desert? Ana loved the tiramisu last time we were here didn't you, baby?" I grasp her hand and force out the fakest fucking smile of my life, praying that she stops looking at me like I am lying.

"Yeah it was to die for, you should definitely try it dad" _Thank Christ._

* * *

"Ana, can you come to Escala tonight please? I really need to talk to you" I whisper into her ear as I help her put her jacket on, Ray is behind us making small talk with the coat clerk.

"Why? Christian I can't just leave my dad, what's so important it can't wait until tomorrow?"

"Please, baby don't ask questions, I wouldn't ask unless it was important" She looks at me for the longest time, I try and keep my expression blank but I know I look scared right now, and the truth is I am scared. I'm scared to have this conversation and I'm petrified to hear what she has to say.

"Let me talk to my dad okay? Stay here" She walks over to Ray and whispers into his ear, he looks at me and instantly catches on to why I have asked her to stay. After a few more minutes they both walk over to me and Ray nods in my direction. He gets it. I take Ana's hand and we all head towards the elevator where Taylor and Sawyer are waiting.

"Sawyer, a word please?" I motion for him to step away and follow me as I move out of ear shot "I want you to drive Mr Steele back to Miss Kavanagh's apartment, I will ride with Ana and Taylor. Remain stationed outside until I call you okay"

"Yes, Sir"

We all ride the elevator to the ground floor in complete silence, the tension is so palpable you could cut it with a knife. I'm pissed at myself for even bringing this up tonight now, I know it has tarnished the evening but I had to know and now I do know I wish I didn't. My grip on Ana's hand is so tight, I even hear her wince slightly but I don't let up, I need to feel her right now, I need to know she's with me.  
Once the valet brings Sawyer's car around Ana flings her arms around Ray's neck, squeezing him tightly and kissing his cheek repeatedly.

"I'll be home first thing daddy okay? We will do breakfast somewhere" He smiles and nods at her before turning to me. He pulls me in for a hug and holds me tightly and whispers in my ear quietly.

"Remember what I said, son. Be patient with her, you're a good kid and she loves you" He may as well have just granted me permission to marry Ana with how emotional I feel right now, I think it's because he is so fiercely protective of Ana just as I am, we both love her to death and someone has hurt her. He knows that it's gunna' cut me up when I hear it and that's why he is being so understanding.  
Once we're in the back of the SUV I pull Ana into my arms and tuck her head under my chin, I breathe the scent of her hair in and try to relax as Taylor pulls out of the Columbia Tower parking lot, I plead for him to put his foot down and get there fast because I am at fucking breaking point here.

"Christian, you're really scaring me now. What's wrong?"

"Don't be scared, baby. I promise everything is fine, I just need to talk to you okay? I love you so much and I don't want you to be scared" I stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head, she's here and she's safe.

"Has something happened?"

"Shhh, I'll explain everything when we get home okay. I will tell you everything then" She probably thinks something has happened to Brody, the fucking irony isn't lost on me. I have held off telling her the latest regarding that situation so I wouldn't ruin her weekend with her dad, yet here I am doing just that, bringing up something else entirely. Something that is no doubt a lot more painful for her.

As soon as we reach my penthouse I pull her into the great room, telling her to sit while I fix us a drink. She shrugs her jacket off and sits on the edge of the couch, wringing her hands nervously in front of her as I hand her a tumbler of whiskey, she eyes the liquid in her hand and tentatively takes a sip, where as I pretty much chug half of it down in one.

"What is this about, Christian? You were fine at dinner, did my dad say something to you while I was in the bathroom? Did he say something to piss you off?" I sit on the chair beside her and lean forward so that I am resting onto my knees, I look into her eyes as I mindlessly swirl the whiskey around in the glass.

"Yes, but not what you're thinking. He didn't threaten me or warn me off you or anything, we just got talking and something came up" She frowns and looks at me with a confused expression.

"What did you talk about? Fuck did you talk about Adam? Did my dad tell you stuff about our relationship because if he did you don't need to worry, my dad hated -"

"It wasn't about him Ana, that little prick didn't even come up once"

"What then? Because I am seriously starting to think the worst here Christian" I place the glass onto the table and stand, moving to sit on the edge of the table so that I am closer to her, we are inches apart and I take both of her hands in mine, the slight tremble of her hands doesn't go un-noticed.

"I asked him a question, a question that has been playing on my mind for a while now. I really need for you to be honest with me baby okay?" She looks so scared, and I feel like such a fucking ass for doing this to her but if we plan on moving forward we need to get all this out in the open. No holds barred.

"Okay I'll try, what is it?"

"What happened when you were growing up Ana, talk to me about what happened when your mom got married?" She snickers and rolls her eyes.

"Which time?"

"The second time" Her whole body freezes as the words leave my mouth, I can feel her hands shaking in my hold so I tighten my grip, my own heart rate accelerating as I take in her reaction. _She froze. She's scared _"Baby? Baby talk to me, tell me what happened?"

"Why are you asking me about that? What did my dad say? What the fuck did he tell you?" Her voice raises with each question and she tries to rip her hands away but I don't let her, I cant let her pull away from me.

"Ana, calm down. Don't get worked up, baby just talk to me. I want to understand what hap -"

"Nothing happened! I don't know what it is you think you know but you're wrong okay" She spits through gritted teeth and yanks away from me with force, standing and walking over to the glass windows, wrapping her arms around her torso as if she is trying to find warmth.

"Ana, I know something has happened, I made Ray talk and tell me" She spins on her heel and nails me to the spot with her cold stare.

"What the fuck did he say? He had no right to tell you anything!"

"Don't be mad at him okay, when you went to the bathroom I cornered him, I didn't leave him with any choice but to tell me something, I know something happened when you were fourteen. Please just talk to me"

"You had no fucking right to put my dad on the spot like that Christian, I made him promise not to tell you and you made him break that promise!"

"What can't he tell me? Please, Ana I am going out of my mind with thinking about this!" I'm standing now, I pull my jacket off and gaze at her. She shivers and looks away, the light hits her face and I can see her eyes shining with tears.

"It's none of your business"

"It is my business, Ana! You are my girlfriend and if someone hurt you I want to fucking know!" I see a tear fall and roll down her cheek, she tries to dash it away but I saw it none the less. In three strides I am in front of her, pulling her into my chest and cradling the back of her neck as she starts to sob.

"Shhh, it's okay sweetheart I'm here, I wont let anyone hurt you I promise, but I need to know what happened to understand, please talk to me Ana" I choke back my own sob and tighten my grip on her, I feel her nod against my chest and I breathe a sigh of relief. Pulling her over to the couch, I tug on her hand and turn so that I am facing her completely. She wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she speaks.

"I was fourteen, my parents had been divorced for a few months and life was hard, I missed my dad and wanted nothing more for them to get back together, but I knew that was never going to happen when she met _him_" I shudder as she says that, her voice dripping with contempt and disgust.

"We were still living in Montesano, not far from my dad and I still got to see him on weekends but it wasn't enough, my mom would constantly talk bad about him and in time I slowly started to resent her, she became selfish and would start going out all the time leaving me on my own. Then she introduced me to her new boyfriend, Steve. I screamed at her for moving on so fast and refusing to give her and Ray another shot, she told me that they would never get back together and that she loved Steve now" She closes her eyes and takes another deep breath, where as I am yet to start breathing again.

"It's okay, baby. Carry on"

"I always had a funny feeling about him, he was a waste of space right from the off. He didn't work and he would constantly sponge off my mom, she was like a pathetic kid in love when she was around him, she practically wiped his own ass for him. Anyway, after a few weeks she moved him in. And that's when it started" My stomach drops, I know what ever she says is going to be awful, I cant stand the thought of anyone upsetting her or hurting her.

"What started to happen?"

"The staring, he would always stare at me. I never even barely spoke to him, I hated him right from the off and wanted nothing more than to leave and never go back, but despite everything I couldn't leave my mom, I didn't trust him and I didn't want her alone with him. Then the touching would start, he would constantly find excuses to touch me. Brushing my hand as I was washed the dishes, pressing up against me whenever he could. He. Made. My. Skin. Crawl. Then he would start saying disgusting shit to me, telling me that I was sexy and beautiful, telling me that he wanted to take care of me" I bring my hand to cover my mouth and take a deep breath, I feel fucking sick. This piece of shit was grooming my girlfriend, the woman I love and it all happened in her own home. The place where she was supposed to feel safe and protected.

"It got worse, a lot fucking worse. He would start following me home from school driving as slow as I would walk, I refused to get in the car with him when he would offer to take me home. I was miserable, he would be there all the time I could never get away from him. I would try and spend more time with dad but I always had to go back there, it was like going back to my own personal hell and there was nothing I could do to escape it. My mom married him after another month even though I begged her not to, I even tried to tell her but she accused me of lying, saying that I was seeking for attention" Her voice wobbles and another tear falls, I take her hands in mine again but that's all I do, I don't want to distract her right now. "Once they were married his true colours started to show, he would become violent and temperamental, he would smash the house up and on occasion my mother's face, she wouldn't leave him though, I hated her for being so weak"

"Did he ever…Did he ever hit you?" I can barely get the words out, they sound so disgusting even in my head.

"I'm getting there, please just be patient with me" Ray's words resound in my head _"Be patient with her son"_ "He would hit my mom then come and find me, stroking my hair and telling me that I was his special girl. I felt sick every time he came near me. He would go through my phone and check my messages, my call list the lot. He found messages from Lucas and hit the roof, you remember me talking about him in Paris- " I nod quickly and say yes, I really don't want to think about the fucker that she lost her virginity too right now.  
"They were innocent enough, he was my friend and he completely misconstrued it. He told me that he was only after one thing and that I had to stay away from him, I didn't dare answer back so I just agreed. He made my life hell Christian, about 6 months later I had enough, I had to get out he was suffocating me, I was getting to the point where I didn't even want to get out of bed. So one Sunday while my mom was at work I packed a bag and planned to leave, I was gunna go and stay with Ray. I was going to tell him everything that had happened" Her tears are falling faster now and I cant stop my own escaping, I feel physically sick as she talks. He would touch her and get into her head, no fourteen year old girl should ever be exposed to shit like this.

"What happened, baby? You can tell me"

"He came home. He walked through the door as I was coming down the stairs, he asked me where I was going but I didn't answer. He saw my bag near the staircase and flipped out, screaming at me to tell him where I was going, I snapped and told him that I was leaving. I told him that I hated him and never wanted to see him again, he went for me" She chokes on her words and breaks down crying, I pull her into my chest and rock her from side to side. My chest constricts and I feel like my throat is closing in on me, this is it. "He pinned me against the wall and told me that I wasn't going anywhere, not until he got what he wanted. He tried to kiss me, god it was so disgusting I wanted to be sick right there in the hallway. I slapped him but he slapped me back twice as hard, telling me that I was a cock tease and I that I deserved everything I had coming to me. He had his hand around my neck as he kissed my face, his lips were fucking everywhere I can still feel them now. He dragged me into the living are and pushed me onto the couch, I was crying and begging for him to stop but he wouldn't, he hit me until I felt like I was going to pass out. My shirt was ripped open and that's when I really started to fight, I was kicking and hitting him but he didn't flinch, it only angered him more" She takes a shuddering breath as I continue to rock her, the tears are falling down my face at a rapid speed now and I'm powerless to stop them.

"Are you okay? I can stop if it's too much" She sobs against my shirt, even now she is worried about me and my feelings, this woman is unbelievable. I pull her tighter to me and tell her I'm okay

"He went for the button my jeans, even with one hand he was incredibly strong, too strong for me and once he got them open I screamed at the top of my lungs, I really thought he was going to rape me Christian, I was so scared, so scared. He told me that it was going to be rough and fast and to brace myself, that's when he fell forward and landed on top of me. My mom was standing over us. She had smashed a vase over his head and knocked him out. I pushed him off me and all I remember was feeling numb, I felt so numb and I couldn't stop shaking. I remember the police being there and talking to me. I remember my mom crying and holding me, telling me over and over again how sorry she was and how she would never forgive herself for letting me down. Then I remember my dad coming for me, he came to the hospital as they were examining me, he took one look at me and picked me up, he carried me out of the hospital and there wasn't one person alive that was going to try and stop him" Her sobs subside slightly and all that is left are sniffles and whimpers.

"What happened after that, baby? You're doing so well"

"I stayed with dad, I didn't want anything to do with my mom. She may have saved me from getting raped but it was too late, she put me in that position and I just couldn't forgive her, she accused me of lying when I tried to tell her what was going on and that sticks with me, I cut all contact with her for about a year. I didn't want her in my life and I wasn't interested in her pathetic attempts at an apology. My dad got me counselling and taught me self defence. I slowly started to get my life back on track and I eventually went back to school, I was still petrified every damn day of my life but I refused to let it control me. In the end I decided to give my mom another chance, things were good for a while but it was never the same, she married again and I was pushed to the side once more. We see each other every now and then but we're not close, I don't tell her things and I don't confide in her. I love her and I forgive her for what she did but I cant forget"

"What happened with him? Was he arrested?" I stroke her hair and circle my thumbs against her bare arm.

"He was initially but then he was released on bail, that's when he ran. He left the country and the police lost all sight of him, that was nine years ago"

"So he's still out there? No one ever found him?" I feel my blood boil, this son of a fucking bitch tried to rape a fourteen year old girl and got away with it? Where is the fucking justice in that bullshit?!

"I know what you're thinking and I want you to get it out of your head, Christian"

"What?"

"You're thinking about how you can trace him. But I don't want you to, this is why I was scared to tell you. I don't want you to look for him Christian okay"

"But, Ana he -"

"No" She sits up and looks at me, she has smeared mascara underneath her eyes and her hair is now starting to come loose but she still looks so incredibly beautiful

"I don't want him found Christian, that means I will have to relive it all again and I don't want to. I can't do it, promise me you won't look for him" How can she make me promise that, I am literally shaking with fucking rage right now. I want this mother fucker caught and brought to me so that I can torture him to the point that he begs me for his life, I want to squeeze every last miserable breath out of him with my bare hands and I want to do it now. But Ana is more important to me than that, she doesn't want him found and I have to respect that. I need to take care of her now. I stroke her cheek with my knuckles and kiss her lips softly.

"I promise, you have my word" She closes her eyes and exhales. I can only imagine how light she must feel right now, she has just shared the biggest and most painful secret of her life with me and I am so thankful, now that I know this I can understand her better. It all makes sense now, why she froze when Brody had her against the wall and why she didn't want to tell me about the first time he got rough with her. I clench my teeth together as I think about that and breathe through the rage. _She's with me now, she's safe, I won't let anyone hurt her ever again._

"Thank you for telling me baby, I am so incredibly proud of you" She smiles softly at me and leans against my chest once more. I feel her breathing slow and I know that she has fallen asleep. I gently lift her into my arms and carry her towards the bedroom.

I lay her down and slide her dress down and off her body, usually I would be a hard as a rock at the sight of her in just her underwear but sex is the last thing on my mind right now, I just want to hold her and keep her safe. I strip my own clothes off in record time and climb into bed beside her and pull her into my arms, I bury my nose in her hair relish the feel of her pressed against me. _She's with me now, she's safe, I won't let anyone hurt her ever again._

**Brody's POV**

"I don't want it" I push the plate of food away as soon as Dylan places it in front of me. I don't even fucking want to be here.

"Tough. You need to eat so eat"

"Why the fuck do you even care?"

"Because for some reason I still love you, and I am sick of watching you throw your life away. Enough is enough" He sits across from me at the table and pushes the plate in front of me once more"

"Yeah, you love me that much you won't even let Megan be around me. I heard you telling her to stay with her sister this morning. I'm not a fucking idiot"

"Neither am I, you are taking fucking cocaine Brody. I love you but I refuse to allow my pregnant wife to be around you right now. I don't trust you not to hurt her" This is what my life has come to? My own friends don't trust me.

"Why did you bring me here then?!"

"To get you help! Because you sure as shit aren't getting it anywhere else right now!"

"I told you before, I don't want you're fucking help. It's not you that I need" He scoffs and laughs as he looks at me.

"Who is it you need then? Cassidy? You have seriously lowered your standards with that one Brody"

"Fuck no, she's just there when I want sex"

"And coke?"

"Got it in one. But it's not her I'm talking about. It's Ana" He lowers his head and groans.

"Brody, you seriously need to get her out of your head. She's with Christian now"

"She doesn't fucking want to be, she loves me still I know she does. He has just brain washed her and turned her against me, but I know she loves me not him"

"Why isn't she here then? You _need _to let her go, this isn't helping-" I throw the plate across the room and stand as it smashes against the wall.

"Shut the fuck up Dylan! You know fuck all about me and Ana, she'll come back for me I know she will" He just stares at me pissing me off even more, how fucking dare he judge my girl and what we have. "I don't have to listen to this, I'm leaving" I head for the door and go to open it but find that it's locked.

"Where the fuck are the keys? Open the door Dylan"

"No, you're not leaving until you start to get your shit sorted. I have a doctor coming to see you first thing in the morning. And when he does he's going to refer you to a rehab centre, you're going to get clean and get your life back on track" I tug at my hair and pull roughly.

"No! You can't fucking do this to me, I need to get to Ana. I need to get her back let me out!" I kick the door repeatedly but I know it's no use, he's keeping me here and he wont let me go. But the longer I'm here the longer I am away from my girl, I need to see her so I can get her back. I need to.

"You're not going anywhere Brody, this is the where this fucking shit stops you got me! It stops here" I bang my head against the door and slide down it, I feel so restless and weak, the feeling of tiredness washes over me again and I want nothing more than to just fucking get away from this asshole. I bring my knees to my chest and drop my head against them. I hear Dylan's feet shuffle and I know he is walking away. He's leaving me. They all fucking leave me. If he thinks he can keep me trapped here like a fucking prisoner he's got another thing coming, I don't even know why I was ever friends with this sap in the first place. Was he always this annoying?  
I couldn't give a shit that he left Cassidy, she is the least of my problems and if I'm honest I couldn't give a fuck what happens to her. The only person I care about is Ana, and if I have to play along with Dylan and his self help bullshit then I will. I'll see the fucking doctor and I'll pretend that I'm willing to go to rehab.

But as soon as I can get out of here, I'm going to get her.

**A/N 2 - I always wanted the original trilogy to delve further into what happened with Ana and husband number three, I think there was always a reason why Ana was so shy and reserved until she met Christian. Even though my Ana is more stronger and sexually empowered, this was my take on what happened without there being any actual forced sexual intercourse.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N - HUGE apologies for how long this took for me to get out, life just got crazy! ****This one is unedited so I apologise in advance for any spelling mistakes!**

* * *

**Chapter 26 - Understanding and moving forward**

**Anastasia's POV**

"Quit hovering will you, you're making me nervous" I blow on my tea and tuck my legs underneath myself my eyes never leaving the television, although I am completely aware of my boyfriend loitering behind the couch as he runs his hands through his hair repeatedly.

I can't blame him. I unloaded some serious heavy shit on him last night and I know it has put him on edge. I woke to him watching me and I did wonder if he had been to sleep at all, he has been touching me all morning and I know it's for his comfort more than mine, he's worried about me and as adorable as it is there's no need. I dealt with all that crap years ago and I'm honestly okay now. I won't lie and say it hasn't affected me because it has, It took months for me to even leave the house just to go to the grocery store, my dad had to get me a therapist and in time I began to heal. But this is all new to Christian, he has just discovered his girlfriend was moments away from being raped when she was just fourteen years old, that _has_ to do something to a guy.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I tilt my head to glance at him and my heart almost breaks. His eyes are full of emotion and it looks like he is moments away from breaking down, this has hit him hard.

"Come here" I motion to the empty spot next to me and scoot up slightly, he looks unsure but I curl my finger and beckon him towards me once more, he pads towards the couch slowly and sits down. Usually he settles back and wraps his arms around me but he looks scared to even touch me right now. "Christian I'm okay, you don't need to worry"

"Of course I do, what you told me last night, Ana. . .I can't stop thinking about it no matter how hard I try, I just keep picturing you scared and helpless and alone"

"I wasn't alone, I had my dad. He was there for me" He leans back slightly but still makes no move to touch me.

"I know and I'm so grateful that you did, but you know what I mean. You're mom -"

"It was what it was, she chose him over me and didn't protect me. I don't beat myself up over that anymore I just had to accept the fact that she was a selfish person who neglected her own daughter"

"But you were fourteen years old, Ana. _No _fourteen year old should have to go through what you went through, and to not have your mother to take care of you after, baby I don't know how you got through that" His voice cracks and I see his eyes begin to shine with tears, I move closer to him and run my hand through his soft, copper locks.

"I got through it, it took time but I got through it. This is why I didn't want to tell you" He raises his face to mine and looks me directly in the eye.

"What do you mean?"

"Christian, you've been a wreck all day and I know you didn't go to sleep last night" He exhales and closes his eyes, shaking his head as he rubs a hand over his stubbly chin.

"I couldn't, it was impossible for me to even get what you told me off my mind for a second let alone long enough for me to fall asleep. I just wanted to watch you" I tug on his head and guide him towards my chest, I'm dressed in one of his shirts and I only have my panties on, I needed to have his smell near me it comforts me like nothing else can.

"I'm sorry, I never wanted to burden you with this -"

"Stop right there, don't you _ever _apologise to me for being honest, I wanted to know what happened even though I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. And you haven't burdened me with anything" He nuzzles my neck with his nose and kisses my exposed collar bone softly before wrapping his free arm around my waist. I was starting to worry he wasn't going to touch me at all.

"I just hate seeing you like this, I have never seen you this quiet"

"Stop worrying about me, I'm a big boy and I can take care of myself. And you, I can take care of you"

"I know that, but I'm a big girl too you know, I don't need protecting" His arm tightens around me and I know that was a pretty dumb thing to say, now he knows he's going to be more protective than ever, I don't doubt for a second that he had already assigned more security to me before I even woke up.

"I will _always _protect you, Ana. Never forget that" I smile against the top of his forehead and kiss it lightly. That is definitely a given.

"I know, but I don't want you to worry yourself with this okay. It's over and done with and it shouldn't play a part in our lives" He sits up again and pushes my wayward hair off my forehead, looking at me pensively.

"Baby, he's still out there. I know you said you didn't want me to look -"

"No, Christian stop it. I know what you're going to say and the answer is no, I told you I didn't want you looking for him and I meant it, I know you think I'm crazy for letting him get away with it but that was my choice nine years ago and it's my choice now. Leave it alone, Christian" I push myself away from him and I know I have raised my voice, but _I _was the one that was attacked and if I don't want my attempted rapist found then I don't want him found.

"Hey" He strokes my face with the back of his knuckles and whispers to me softly "I'm sorry I don't want to upset you baby, I just want to take care of you and the thought of that son of a bitch walking around like he has done nothing wrong makes me sick to my stomach, he hasn't been punished enough, Ana"

"I don't care, when the police told me they couldn't find him I was relieved. All I could think about when I was released from hospital was the thought of having to stand in court and testify against him, having to relive every disgusting detail to a room full of strangers that didn't know me or care about me. I was a kid and I just wanted to forget, I may be twenty three but it still petrifies me Christian, why can't you understand that?" He grabs the back of my head and crushes me to his chest, it hasn't gone unnoticed by me how we are forever switching roles, one minute I am comforting him then he is comforting me. It's a head spin.

"I do get it, baby. I can't even begin to imagine how scared you must have been but it doesn't have to be that way now, we don't even have to get the police involved" My head shoots up and I know I have a look of sheer and utter confusion all over my face.

"What does that mean?"

"I just mean that there are other ways we can get revenge, there are other means of punishment, Ana" Fuck the confusion, I don't doubt that I look horrified right now.

"Meaning?" He looks away from me and pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Completely breaking eye contact "Christian?"

"You know what I am trying to say, Ana" Realisation smacks me in the face and I automatically pull away from him, standing to my feet to create a gap between us.

"What are you planning on doing, Christian? Finding him then killing him? Is that what you want?"

"He deserves it, Ana! And I'm not saying I will kill him I just want to rip the fucker from limb to limb, I want to watch him bleed out and beg for life" A shiver runs through my body at the tone of his voice, he sounds so cold and detached and nothing like the soft and gentle man I know and love "And don't look at me like that, we are talking about the man who nearly raped you, Ana. He nearly _raped _you!"

"Why are you telling me like I don't know that? I was there Christian I fucking know what he tried to do" I can't even believe him right now, I am not an idiot and _that_ is exactly what he is treating me like. He stands and reaches for me but I yank away.

"Ana, he deserves to fucking rot for what he did to you and god knows how many other young and defenceless women out there. Don't you want him to suffer?"

"Of course I do! I have imagined that bastard dead over and over again but I fucking _refuse _to sit back and watch my boyfriend commit murder!"

"I'm not going to murder him, Anastasia!"

"No you'll just get Taylor to do your dirty work for you and god knows who else!" His eyes flash with anger and I know that I've hit a nerve.

"For your information, no I wouldn't. Do you really think I would pass up on the chance to hurt that piece of shit for what he did to you?"

"That doesn't matter, Christian! Because _you _are not going to even think about looking for him! I get that you're pissed -"

"Pissed doesn't even begin to cover what I am feeling, Ana. Try seething, and furious and incensed with hatred for a man that I have never even met" He spits through gritted teeth and clenches his fists at his side.

"I understand that I really do, I know that if the roles were reversed I would be feeling exactly the same way but they're not, this happened to _me. _And I am asking you to leave this alone, please Christian drop this before you do something you wont be able to take back" I feel the corners of my eyes prick with unshed tears as I speak, the thought of that scrotum being dragged back into my life scares the hell out of me, but the thought of the man I love more than life itself lowering himself to such disgusting levels petrifies me.

"Baby -"

"I can't lose you, Christian" His eyes meet mine and his face morphs into shock.

"You won't lose me, you will never lose me, Ana"

"If you see this through then I will! You may be the king of fucking Seattle but you're not above the law Christian, you will get caught and then what? You will be locked away and I will lose you. I refuse to sit back and watch you ruin your life over someone that all but destroyed me, because you will be doing exactly the same thing, you would destroy me" The tears are falling freely now and there's nothing I can do to stop them, in two long strides he is in front of me wiping my tear stained cheeks before kissing my lips softly - reassuringly.

"Listen to me, that will _never _happen, Ana. I would never do anything to risk our life together you have to know that. I won't look for him I promise, I'm sorry I even put that in your head that was an asshole thing to do. Don't cry, baby I cant bare to see you cry" He kisses me again and eventually the tears slow, just feeling his lips on mine soothes me even though he has really pissed me off.

"Stop making me cry then" I feel his chest shake as he chuckles softly, he wraps his arms around me tightly and holds me close to him.

"No more tears now okay, I promise you that I won't do anything you don't want me to. I won't even bring this up anymore you have my word"

"Promise?"

"I promise" His lips meld with mine once more and just like that all the anxiety and fear leaves my body, I just needed to hear him say that he will leave it where it belongs. In the past.

"Are you coming to brunch with us? My dad would love for you to come" I sniff and wipe the remaining tears with the sleeve of Christian's shirt as he smoothes my hair.

"Of course, baby. I just need to call the office and sort a few things out so I will meet you there, where are you wanting to go?"

"Macrina bakery, their Brioche French Toast is to die for" I close my eyes and groan making him laugh and I'm grateful the mood has been effectively lightened, it is _way _too early for tears and arguing.

"Okay sounds good, Sawyer will take you both"

"Why?" I know that came out as whiny making me sound really petulant but I was hoping that I could leave Mr. Happy behind this morning.

"You know why, you become more and more well known as each day passes, you're a target Ana and I won't risk someone hurting you. Besides, I received confirmation that Adam fucking Atkins retracted that article this morning, the new and revised version will be released any minute now so I'm expecting a lot of attention"

"Really? What has he said now?" I can't help but feel apprehensive, I don't know what he _could _say that can possibly make it any better, people have judged me over that story and opinions can't easily be changed.

"I'm guessing that it goes something along the lines of how it was all just a fantasy and in his head, how he was a bitter and jealous prick who wanted something that he could never get" He says with a smug smirk and I can't help but smile, he deserves to be smug over what he did for me. He put that asshole back in his place and fuck if the thought of that doesn't make me wet.

"I hope so, I can't lie and say that I feel sorry for him because I don't. Now he has to suffer the humiliation that I had to endure ten fold" Christian tilts my chin up with his index finger and plants a firm kiss on my lips.

"Oh he will do, baby believe me. Now go and get dressed you don't want to be late, I'm gunna' get started on those calls" And with one more kiss and a swat on the ass he's gone.

* * *

Christian was right, the paparazzi were camped outside of Escala and as soon as we pulled out of the entrance they went crazy, how utterly ridiculous. What were they expecting to see exactly? Thankfully they stayed where they were and didn't follow me to Kate's apartment, they were no doubt waiting to get the shot of Christian leaving before they left themselves. Losers.

Over brunch I fill my dad in on what happened last night, I can see how proud he is of me for confiding in Christian even though he said he feels terrible for hinting that something went on, I was hurt at first but I know everything Raymond Steele does he does for me and he would have only had my very best interests at heart.

"It was hard having to relive it all again but it feels like a huge weight has been lifted, only Kate knows what happened and I still haven't told her the full story" I pick up my juice and take a sip as dad places his hand on my arm, he smiles softly at me and tucks a tendril of hair behind my ear.

"I'm so proud of you, Annie. I know it couldn't have been easy to go through all that again but it's a good thing he knows it will only bring you closer" He's right, of course he's right. Christian _needed _to know if we had even the slightest chance of having a future together I just hope that he listens to me when I say I don't want Morton found. Once Christian gets an idea in his head that's it and there is no going back, he wants revenge and I don't think there is anything that will stop him. Just the thought of it makes me feel sick.

"I know that, and I don't blame you for what you did daddy, you just gave me the gentle nudge that I needed to come clean. I feel so much better now" I smile at him and squeeze his hand.

"Honesty is a good thing honey, the more honest you are the better your relationship. Trust me I should know" He scoffs and takes a bite of his Fried Egg Sandwich and I know what he is referring to, his marriage to my Mother was disastrous. She lied and cheated throughout their thirteen year relationship and the only reason he stuck around for that long was because of me. Carla was and still is a selfish woman who only thinks about herself, she was good to me after she caught her low life husband on top of me for all of a month, and even then I could tell she was struggling with the intimacy. We're just not close, we have tried and she is _still _trying in her own way but it won't happen. Kate's mom is more of a mother figure to me and that won't ever change.

"Ugh I know, did I ever tell you how much of a saint I think you are for not divorcing her sooner?" He laughs and shakes his head. Now I'm a grown woman and in love myself I realise just how toxic they were together, when they first split I was in denial and wanted nothing more than for them to reconcile, but that never happened and thank god it didn't, even though my parent's divorce led to the most traumatising experience of my life I am _so _glad that my dad got out when he did.

"I did it all for you, Ana. I couldn't leave her because that would mean leaving you and that was not something I was prepared to do, I knew in the end she would leave me but I couldn't be the one to abandon you I just couldn't, I had to stay to protect you"

"And you did, you never stopped protecting me. You know that I wanted to come with you didn't you?"

"God honey of course I did, I knew you weren't happy staying with her but there was nothing any of us could have done, she was your mother and she wanted you with her" I roll my eyes and choke back a grunt, wanted me with her my ass. Wanted to own and control me more like.

"She phoned me yesterday morning" Dad's head shoots up and I know that has shocked him, he knows we haven't spoken in over a month and I know that he is surprised _she _was the one that phoned _me, _it's usually the other way around.

"She did? What did she say to you?"

"Not much, she basically just phoned to tell me that she heard I have a new boyfriend, a new boyfriend that happens to be a billionaire. It doesn't take a genius to work out what her agenda was" Dad shakes his head in disgust and looks down, he hates my mother and this will just piss him off.

"That god damn woman, she has no morals Ana she never has, I hope you told her where to go" I shrug my shoulders.

"Not exactly, I just made my excuses and hung up the phone, she actually wants to come and see me dad so she can meet Christian, does she think I'm an idiot?"

"That's just it baby girl she doesn't think, that's not something Carla's brain can manage to function. Don't let her get in your head, she's poison and she is only looking out for herself. It hasn't bothered you has it?"

"God no, she stopped getting to me a long time ago it just threw me receiving her call, I hate how she just pops up out of nowhere and expects me to welcome her with open arms" He drains the remainder of his coffee and dabs the corner of his mouth with a napkin.

"I don't know how you even manage to keep your cool with her Ana, you're too damn polite for your own good"

"I know she's a witch but she was a good mother to me at one point, we were all happy once" He looks at me and flashes me a half smile, it's more of a sympathetic smile and I know he feels sorry for me but he doesn't need to. We _were_ happy once but that was a long time ago.

"She wasn't always useless, she was kind and sweet when I met her but once we got married her true colours started to come through and I saw her for what she really was. All I can say is you're biological father must have been an angel sweetie because there is not one single ounce of her in you" Fuck I hope there isn't, but my birth father was hardly a saint. He did leave us after all once he found out I was on the way. _Fucking coward_

"That's why I'm lucky to have you. I wish you didn't have to leave today dad" Sadness starts to creep in and I will myself not to cry, this is what happens. As soon as I think about him leaving again I turn into an emotional and pathetic mess. I just wish he could stay with me all the time.

"I'll visit again soon baby, but you have your own life including your new job which you need to focus on" He fixes his eyes on me and cocks his head and I know that's his way of warning me to stay focused and be the best that I can be. Even though I fully intend to he still feels the need to tell me.

"I know that, and I'm so excited I would just prefer you to be here with me too. I miss you so much when you're not here" My voice cracks and I release a deep breath as I waft a hand over my face, attempting to keep the tears at bay. Ray reaches out and pulls my hand away from my face.

"Hey now you none of that, I have had enough of seeing you cry it doesn't do me any good you know that"

"I know, I know I'm just being silly ignore me" I pick an unused napkin up off of the table and dab the corner of my eyes, the last thing I want is to have a repeat performance of what happened at the sushi bar yesterday. God that was humiliating enough.

"So come on, lets finish this while we wait for you're young man to get here"

**Christian's POV**

"So how is he this morning?"

"A mess. He's such a fucking mess Christian and I don't know what to do with him, he hasn't slept and neither have I to be honest, I'm too afraid of what I might wake up to"

"Dylan this is a good thing, this is the first step to him getting help. Real help"

"I know but it doesn't make it any less easier, I have never seen him in this state before and it's sickening, he's worse than he was in college. He's fucking addicted to this shit" Leaning forward I brace my elbows on my desk.

"I know it's hard, we all love him and we all want him better. When's the doctor coming?"

"In an hour, he has agreed to see him so that can only be a good thing right?"

"It means that he is aware of his problem, he never would have agreed to that when I spoke to him so you must be doing something right"

"I hope so, he wasn't thrilled at first but something must have happened because he told me I was right. Even though he's a mess I'm just relieved he is being amenable right now"

"Ditto, listen I gotta' run. You'll ring me as soon as the doctor leaves?"

"Yeah sure, do you want me to pass on a message or anything?"

"No I don't think that's a good idea, I don't want to piss him off today of all days, in a few days I will speak to him"

"Okay I get that. Listen you know you don't have to pay for the rehab? If and when he agrees to be admitted"

"_When _he agrees to be admitted, and yeah I do, it's the least I can do after what I did. I had a big part to play and I want the old Brody back, if not for me then for you, Blake and Ell. He's your best friend too"

"Thanks Chris I really appreciate it, and once Brody's better I know he will too"

"Fuck, I hope so. And don't call me Chris" I hear him laugh on the end of the phone.

"Sorry it's just too easy, talk later"

"Laters"

Knowing that Brody has agreed to get help relieves me no fucking end, I know it's just a start but it's one step closer, I admire Dylan so much for stepping up and taking him in like this even though he knows he has a drug addiction. He told me that he had to pack Megan off to her sisters until he is back to normal and I can only imagine how awful that must have been, the thought of sending Ana away makes my throat constrict and she isn't even my wife of pregnant for that matter. It just shows me how much he wants to help him.

I rub my hands over my face roughly, my eyes feeling heavy and sore all of a sudden. Fuck when will this shit ever end? First Brody and now the perverted and disgusting shit Ana shared me with last night, I cant get it out of my head no matter how hard I try. I watched her sleeping all night and I think I only managed to sleep for an hour or so before waking again, I pulled her close to me and inhaled her scent over and over again. I needed to feel her close to me. Around 3am I was really wound up, I was tempted to get out of bed and head to my office but I couldn't bring myself to leave her, I didn't want to take my eyes off of her for a second so I forced myself to calm the fuck down.

Oddly enough all I wanted to do right there and then was turn her over and fuck her, feel her soft wet folds encase me in a vice like grip. But I realised how selfish and disgusting that was after what she had told me only hours earlier, even though sex with Ana is the most comforting and gratifying feeling on the planet I couldn't bring myself to use her like that. She deserves so much more than a quick hard fuck at 3am in the morning just so I can quench the undeniable thirst I have for her, she needs me and she needs me to be there for her in every way possible.

She doesn't want me to look for the sick son of a bitch and I have to respect that, last night all I could think about was finding the sack of shit and squeezing his last miserable breath from him but after her small melt down this morning I realised that this isn't about me and what I need and want. She's scared, she doesn't want him back in her life even if it just for a split second before I beat him to a pulp, she wants to move on and forget and I need to help her do that. She trusted me enough to tell me her most darkest secret and I have to step up and be the boyfriend that she deserves. One thing is for sure though, if she thought I was protective before she's about to meet a whole new Christian Grey. Anastasia is my life and I couldn't prevent her getting hurt when she was fourteen years old but I can sure as hell prevent it now, and that is exactly what I intend to do.

* * *

"Call me as soon as you get home daddy, I want to know you're back safe" Ana sobs as Ray pulls her into his arms, I can see her small frame shudder with the tears I know she is crying and it fucking pains me to see her like this, I hate seeing her cry but I know she needs this moment with her dad. Now I know what he did for her when she was a teenager it all makes so much more sense, this man saved her life in more ways than one and he has been the only source of comfort and unconditional love she has had throughout her whole entire life. She wasn't kidding when she said her was her hero.

"I promise baby, you'll be okay?" I see her head nod against his chest and he continues to hold her for several more minutes, rocking her back and forth as her sobs eventually subside. Once he releases her he makes his way over to where I am leaning against the car and holds his hand out to me. I give it a firm shake and am not at all surprised when he pulls me in for a hug.

"Take care of my baby girl Christian, she's my everything" The lump forms in my throat much like it did last night, this man is trusting me to love and protect his daughter knowing everything she has had to endure, that can't be easy for him to do and the thought of that chokes me up with raw emotion.

"You have my word Ray, I love her" He looks at me and nods. I don't need to say anything else, I couldn't even if I wanted to do, his daughter is my life and one day I will be asking him for his permission to make her my wife. _Someday soon. _I need for him to know she is it for me. He shakes my hand one more time and turns his attention back to Ana who is stood with her arms wrapped around her torso, she has stopped crying but she still looks so sad. I can't stand to see her so sad. Ray strokes her cheek tenderly with one hand and smoothes her hair out of her face with the other.

"Take care of yourself kid, I'll call you soon" He kisses her on the cheek and we watch as he makes his way over to his car that is parked on the other side of the street. I motion for Taylor to accompany him and make sure he gets off safely, stupid I know as he is a fully grown man but it still makes me feel better.

"Are you okay baby?" I wrap my arm around Ana's shoulder and pull her close to me as she nods, she doesn't say anything until we see Ray pull out of his spot and drive off, honking his horn as he reaches the top of the road.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just hate that part it gets me every time" She snuggles into my chest and I feel her release a deep breath as I kiss the top of her head.

"I know but he'll be back soon. What do you want to do, baby? Do you want to go back to Escala?"

"God more than anything but I need more clothes first, I've got through the ones I have at your place, can we stop at Kate's first?"

"Of course we can" I pull back and take a hold of her hand, leading her towards the car where Sawyer is waiting.

"Do you need to go to work today?"

"Not till later on, I just need to sign some paperwork so I shouldn't be there for long" She climbs in the back seat and I clamber in behind her, pulling her to me as soon as we're settled in.

"Thank you for being her with me to see my dad off, I really needed this hug right now" She nuzzles my neck with her nose sending goose bumps down my arms, there is nothing more satisfying then holding my girl in my arms and feeling her soft, warm skin.

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else baby, I wanted to be with you"

"I know but still, you are always there for me and I want you to know how much I appreciate it" She lifts her head off my chest slightly so that her lips can touch mine, she kisses me softly and I feel my heart pounding in my ears. She has barely touched me and already I am hard and wanting her. This woman weaves some kind of incredible magic over me that has me horny within seconds, I can feel her warm breath on my lips and I feel the overwhelming need to be closer to her. My right hand tangles in her hair at the nape of her neck as I hold her in place, probing her mouth with my tongue needing to taste her. I hear a soft whimper escape her throat and I feel my dick pulse in the confines of my pants.

I pull her closer to me so she is practically sitting in my lap, he hands find their way into my hair and I know that she is just as turned on as I am. She always plays with my hair when she's turned on.

"I need to get you into bed" I whisper into her ear hotly and I am rewarded with a breathless groan, I glance forward and see that Taylor's eyes are fixed purely on the road, completely unaware of the hot and heavy situation that is playing out in the back of the car.

"Christian -" She pants and rocks her hips against mine slightly looking for some friction but I hold her still, if she moves against me like that I will be coming in my pants within minutes.

"Hold on baby we're nearly there. In five minutes I will have you naked and I promise I'll fuck you senseless" She moans again and her breathing accelerates, two minutes ago she was crying and emotional and now she is wet and horny and writhing on my lap like a crazed sex addict. Fuck I love this woman.

"I need you now, Christian. Don't make me wait" She bites down on my ear lobe and I almost lose it, I want nothing more than to throw her onto the seat and rip her panties off but I can't. I want her in bed screaming my name over and over again. I need to have her spread before me so I can do whatever the hell I want to her tight little body.

"Soon baby soon, I can feel you I can feel how wet you are for me" I don't know why I keep saying shit like that I'm just turning myself on more, my dick feels like it's about to burst through the seam of my zipper and I know for a fucking fact it wont take me long to blow. My girlfriend is straddling my lap and grinding against my cock whilst shoving her tits in my face, she's wearing another long maxi dress that is quite low cut so all I can see is her ample cleavage staring at me. I can see the outline of her lacy bra and I so desperately want to yank it down so I can latch onto her delicious nipple. Fuck she's killing me here.

I feel the car slow and I look out of the window to see Kate's apartment complex. _Thank fuck! _As soon as Taylor comes to a stop I have the door open and I literally drag Ana out, I tell Taylor to wait as I know that this wont take long. I give myself five minutes. We reach the double doors just as a good looking guy in his twenties comes out, he holds the door for us and I see his eyes literally pop out of his sockets as they land on his chest, I glare at him but he doesn't see me all he sees is my girlfriends tits. _Mine._

Ana is completely oblivious and I know it's because she's desperate for me to fuck her, the thought is a sobering one. She wants me, she needs me. It's me that she is dragging towards her apartment right now for a round of hot sex and it's me that gets to see her naked and wet. We reach the second flight of stairs and I push her against the wall. I pin her with my hips and kiss her rough and hard, she gasps in shock and I use that opportunity to force my tongue down her throat. She kisses me back with twice as much passion and she hooks her left leg around my hip, pulling me in closer.

"You're mine, Ana. Tell me you're mine"

"I'm yours Christian, only yours. Let's go upstairs I need you" I grasp her gorgeous face in my hands and kiss her. I can't stop fucking kissing her.

"No, I need you now. Right here"

"What! We're in the hallway anyone could come round the corner lets go" She grabs onto my hand and tries to tug me but I pull her back, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her towards me once more. She groans into my mouth and that's all I can take.

I snake my hand under her dress and search for the hem of her panties, I am met with saturated lace and I roughly rip them from her body, she gasps and her eyes widen in shock but I don't care. I needed her like I needed air to breathe before but now that fucker has checked her out it has increased my desire for her ten fold. She's mine and I need to claim her.

"Christian what are you doing?! We're going to get caught stop it!" She swats at my chest as I fumble with the belt on my jeans and pop open the top button. I pull her so she is effectively laying on the stairs and crash my mouth onto hers. I know someone could come round that corner at any minute but I don't care. If I'm not inside her within the next ten seconds I think I might just die.

"Shut up and let me fuck you" And with that I thrust sharply into her making her back arch, I catch her cry with my mouth and waste no time in giving her the fuck we both need so badly. She wraps her legs around me and rocks her hips, meeting me thrust for thrust.

"Fuck Christian hurry, I'm so close"

"I know baby I can feel you clenching my dick, I know you're gunna come. You feel so fucking good" I yank the top of her dress down and latch onto the swell of her breast, sucking and nipping as I continue to pound into her. I look down and the visual before me is so hot. Ana is spread in front of me on the stairs with her beautiful tits hanging out as I fuck her brains out. This is so naughty and erotic and the feel of her juices running down the shaft of my dick sends me into a head spin.

"Right there don't stop, don't stop, don't stop" She closes her eyes and chants those two words over and over until she tips her head back and whimpers, I feel her legs tremble underneath me as she comes and that's all I need to tip me over the edge with her. I shudder and shake before collapsing on top of her as I try to catch my breath. She pushes me off her after a few seconds and quickly puts herself back together before descending down the stairs and poking her head around the corner.

"Thank god no one was there, Jesus Christian we could have been caught" I tuck my dick back into my pants and fasten my belt as I stand, a smirk tugging at the corner of my lips.

"But we didn't baby, fuck I needed that like you wouldn't believe. That was incredible thank you" I reach for her and kiss her lips. "But I am nowhere near finished with you, come on"

* * *

Two hours and three rounds of hot sex later Ana is fast asleep in my arms, I glance at the clock and see that it has just gone 3pm, I told Ros I would be at GEH for two oclock but fuck that. No paperwork is more important then spending the afternoon in bed with my girlfriend. And on staircases. I phoned Taylor and told him to head off, after the romp in the hallway I knew that I wasn't even close to having my fill of her.

She stirs slightly and shivers so I pull the comforter up and cover her shoulders with it before kissing her head softly. She's so fucking perfect it scares me. I could lay here with her forever and never get bored. I snuggle in behind her and close my eyes, just as I feel myself drifting off to sleep I hear my phone buzzing from somewhere on the floor. Fuck I bet that's Ros now ready to chew my ass over being late. I gently move Ana's head and place it on the pillow before leaning over and searching for my phone, I find it near the night stand and I see that instead of Ros it's Dylan calling me. No doubt ringing to update me on the situation at his place.

"Hello" I answer as quietly as I can so that I don't wake Ana.

"Christian?

"Yeah man what's up?"

"Are you at work?"

"No, no I'm not why?"

"I need you to come over" I sit up and lean against the head board, glancing down I see that Ana is still in a deep sleep.

"Why what's wrong? Has something happened?" He pauses and my heart rate picks up as I begin to fear the worst.

"No not really, but it's Brody. He wants to talk to you" _What?_

"Talk to me? What do you mean?"

"He's asking for you, he said he needs to talk to you and it needs to be now. You need to come over Christian"

* * *

Pinterest**dot**com / fifty shades 12 / forbidden lust ( Remove Spaces ) Check it out for visuals - Including the hot staircase sex ;)


	27. Chapter 27

Pinterest**dot**com / fifty shades 12 / forbidden lust (Remove Spaces)

* * *

**Chapter 27 - We broke him.**

**Christian's POV**

I need to go in. I should go in. I need to go in.

I've been parked outside Dylan's for over half an hour now just staring listlessly at the door not knowing what to do. I don't know why I'm here. Why would Brody want to talk to me now? The last time we were in a room together he told me that he wanted nothing more to do with me so what's changed? I know how much he despises me so what possible reason is there for him to want to talk to me unless he wants to rip into me once more telling me what a lousy friend I am. Lousy doesn't even begin to cover how much of a shitty person I am so he doesn't need to waste his breath if they are his intentions.

I left Ana a note telling her I had to go into the office as she was still sleeping and I didn't want to wake her, if I'm being honest with myself I'm glad she was still sleeping. I will tell her I came here later but I knew that she would only want to come with me if I had told her prior to me leaving, not only to provide back up for me but to see Brody for herself. She's asked me numerous times if she can see him but I flat out refuse every time, I didn't want her near him when he was using and I still don't want her near him now, she says she just wants to see how he is doing but for me it's non negotiable.

I can't help but still feel insecure where their relationship is concerned, I know Ana loves me and wants to be with me but have her feelings for Brody completely disappeared? Is there a small part of her that regrets choosing me when she could still be with him? I'm being irrational thinking like that I know I am but it creeps into the back of my mind every single fucking day. They _were_ happy before I came along, they were living together and happy. I still think back to how they were with each other the very first night I met Ana, they were all over each other and forever fucking kissing, that memory never leaves me it's like it's imprinted in my fucking brain.

And the way she looked after him when he piss poor drunk? Fuck she was so gentle and caring and the feeling of pure jealousy washed over me instantly. I think I was in love with her even then even though I knew it was wrong, she was with my best friend and I took her. I pursued her and I messed with her head, I taunted her with Macy on more than one occasion and made her jealous, I _loved _how jealous she got and in the end _that _was what caused her to come to my hotel room that night, she was expecting to find Macy with me and no doubt getting ready to rip her hair out. I will never forget the minute she walked through the door all hot and feisty, she was a woman on a mission and within minutes we were naked and in bed together. I could feel how desperate she was for me and how turned on she was, she was practically clawing at me and her stamina was through the fucking roof, she never once said no or told me enough was enough, she kept going and wanted the sex just as much as I did.

Brody did enter my mind. I _did_ think about him. She was laid out in front of me naked and panting, I could see how wet she was and just before I bent down to taste her I thought about Brody.

It was like our whole friendship flashed before my eyes and all I could think about was how I was betraying my friend. _My brother. _I thought about him sat at home crying over losing his girlfriend and the utter despair he must have been feeling. She punched him. She actually punched him and told him it was all but over between them, I should never have sent him home in the first place, I should have stayed with him and took care of him the way a best friend is supposed to but did I? No I stayed exactly where I was and enjoyed the fucking party, I looked down at Ana and she bit her lip as she looked into my eyes. She was in my bed and she wanted me, so I did it.  
I fucked my friends girlfriend over and over again and then I went back for more, I woke up the next morning and fucked her and then I took her to Paris and fell in love with her. I was and still am a complete asshole so why the fuck does he want to see me?  
I exhale a deep breath and open the car door, it's now or never and I have to know what he wants. I don't even get the chance to knock on the door before it swings open revealing an ashen faced Dylan.

"Thank fuck! He's climbing the walls in there what the hell were you doing? I saw you pull up ages ago" I take two steps inside when he motions for me to come in with his hand.

"Steeling myself. Where is he?" He points to the guest bedroom with his chin and folds his arms across his chest. He looks panicked and tired, I can only imagine the hell he has had to endure since he brought Brody back, how the hell do you look after a drug addict? I can't imagine it being a bag of fucking fun "Do you know why he wants to talk to me?"

"No. I gave him and the doctor privacy and once he had left the first thing he said to me was 'Get Christian here' My guess is as good as yours buddy, all I know is he wants to talk to you and that can only be a good thing right?" _Can it?_

"We'll soon find out. What did the doctor say? Is he referring him to a rehab centre?" I whisper because I don't know if Brody can hear us or not.

"Not without his consent he can't, he's left me with numbers for clinics but unless Brody physically checks himself in there's nothing we can do"

"That's fucking ridiculous like that's going to happen, he's an addict and doesn't even realise he has a problem"

"Let's not write him off yet he agreed to see Dr. Carter didn't he? We didn't even think he was going to do that, maybe he's starting to realise he needs help"

"I hope so, I'll be pleased when all this is over" Dylan closes his eyes and releases a breath and when he opens them again they are shining with tears.

"Me too. I want my friend back" I place my hand on his bicep and squeeze firmly attempting to give him some comfort and reassurance, he places his hand on top of mine and tries to smile but can't quite manage it. I don't know how he can even tolerate to be around me let alone accept my touch, I did this after all. We're in this situation because I couldn't keep my dick in my pants.

I move towards the door leading to bedroom and stop. Why am I acting like such a fucking pussy? I need to man up and accept whatever it is he wants to tell me because I may not get another chance. I roll my shoulders back and shake my hands like I am preparing to break out into a sprint before reaching for the handle and twisting it open.

**Brody's POV**

I hear the door open and shut and I know he's here. Fucking took him long enough.

When he doesn't say anything I push myself off of the wall and turn around, he's stood at the threshold of the room with his arms at his sides just staring at me with an apprehensive look on his face and I revel in the fact that he actually looks quite scared. I don't make an effort to say anything I just take him in.  
He's dressed in jeans and a tee so I know he hasn't been to work, no doubt he was with Ana when Dylan called. _My Ana. _His hair is a mess but I cant deny he's a good looking bastard, he always has been and the women would literally fall at his feet begging for a fuck. Ha! Look how that turned out, I never thought my girlfriend would be one of those women. His eyes scan me up and down and I see him swallow almost audibly, I know I look like shit. I feel like shit it and it took all of my energy to even get out of bed, I haven't slept all night and when I did manage to get some sleep I would only wake up in a cold sweat.  
I'm agitated and restless and all I want is to get out of this fucking apartment so I can get a fix, I need something, _anything _to take the edge off I feel like I'm literally going insane.

"Are you just going to continue staring at me or are you planning on speaking anytime soon?" His head snaps up and he opens his mouth to say something but closes it again before looking at his feet. He has guilt written all over his sorry fucking face and so he should, I never thought I would see the day where Christian Grey has nothing to say.

"You um…You wanted to see me" He looks and sounds like he's been summoned by the principle at school and doesn't know what to do, could he look anymore pathetic right now. "What's up?"

"What's up? What's fucking up? That's all you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't know what it is you want me to say Brody, haven't we already said everything we needed to? I don't even know why you have called me here I've been trying to keep my distance"

"Oh how very fucking noble of you. You created this mess and you just choose to let me rot" He takes two steps closer but stops himself from coming any further.

"I'm not leaving you to rot, Brody I'm trying to help! What good could possibly come from me being around you right now you hate me"

"You're wrong actually I don't hate you, I fucking despise you with everything I have for what you have done to me. How do you get to be the one with the perfect life after this"

"I don't have the perfect life" He mutters with an incredulous look and I want to punch him, just looking at him makes me want to beat the living shit out of him.

"Really? You have the money, the flash pad and all the other superficial shit you can throw your money at, and now you have Ana. You want to tell me you don't have the perfect life again?" He shakes his head and laughs, he actually laughs and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to lunge for him, I'm pleased this is providing amusement for him.

"Oh fucking please, is that supposed to offend me? I couldn't give a shit about the money it just comes with owning a company and as for Ana? How many more times do I have to apologise for that?"

"I don't want you're fucking apology I want to know why! You could have any woman you wanted why did you have to take her!"

"I love her!" He screams at me as his face tenses and the veins start to bulge in his neck, hearing him say that is like taking a punch to the stomach and I literally have to fight the bile rising in my throat "Okay, I love her! I didn't choose to fall in love with her but I did so you have to let this go!"

"Let it go? How can I let it go? I've lost the woman I love because of you!"

"You lost her already, Brody remember? You fucked your ex behind her back and treated her like shit what did you expect…Yeah I know all about you two sleeping together Dylan told me" He says when he sees the shocked look on my face, I am going to fucking rip Dylan in half, he had no right telling anyone that at least of all _him_.

"That was months ago we were hardly even together and I told Evie to fuck off as soon as it happened"

"Yeah and that worked _so _well seeing as you started it all up again with her, when are you going to start taking some responsibility for what you did? I was wrong I know I was, I should have never betrayed you like that but _stop _blaming me for your wrong doings, Ana left you beforewe even slept together" Now it's my turn to laugh.

"And you waited what? A total of three hours before you moved in on her, you took advantage of her when she was at her lowest"

"Hardly"

"You're just a rebound, she _will _realise what she has done and leave you" His face falls and I know that hit a nerve "But you already know that don't you? You already know it's only a matter of time before she leaves you and comes back to me"

"She will never come back to you, what have you got to offer her? You're a fucking drug addict, Brody" He clenches his fists and I can see just how much that has bothered him. Maybe someone isn't as happy as I thought they were, the notion of that makes me fucking ecstatic.

"I'm fine. And when I get Ana back I will be even better, I'm only like this because I haven't got her with me right now"

"You will never have her with you when are you going to accept that? I am really fucking trying to help you here but you're making it impossible, just drop this and move on with your life"

"That's why I called you here actually, I don't want your help so you can stop having cosy little discussions with Dylan trying to figure out what's best for me because I don't need it. I know you are trying to check me into some rehab clinic but I'm not interested, you can't do anything without my permission so stop trying. Got it?"

"Why are you being so unreasonable?"

"I stopped being reasonable the minute you fucked my girlfriend, you were my best friend and you took the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I made mistakes with Evie but Ana was the love of my life, she still is and you have _no _fucking idea how much it hurts knowing you are the one that has her" My voice is laced with venom as I glare at him with ice cold eyes, because that's how I feel as I look at the Judas in front of me right now. Cold and resentful. Christian was the one person I would turn to for anything, my girlfriend wasn't the only person I lost that night they slept together. I also lost my best friend, my confidant and in some respects my soul mate, we were more like family but all that has been destroyed, if he died right here in front of my eyes I would be glad. I hate him, I fucking _hate _him.

"I'm so sorry -" I cut him off with a raised hand.

"I said I DON'T want your apologies I just want you to leave me alone, all of you" I stalk towards the door and pull it open with force hollering for Dylan to get in here, it takes him seconds to emerge so I know he has most probably been around the corner the whole time trying to listen in. Fucking pathetic.

"What's wrong?" He stands beside Christian and I see them share a secret glance with each other, or at least what they think is secret.

"I'm telling you what I've told this fucking asshole. Stop smothering me and Leave. Me. Alone. I don't want your misplaced concern so all of this -" I gesture between the three of us with my hand "Can stop because I don't want it"

"Brody we just want -"

"Stop fucking interrupting when I am talking! You are going to let me out of this apartment and you're going to leave me alone, don't call me, don't text me just stay out of my life. We're done okay? This friendship is done and I want nothing more to do with any of you, you have all betrayed me at some point and I am better off without you"

"You don't mean that" Dylan chokes out and he looks like he is about to break down at any minute, Christian is once again looking at the floor shamefaced which doesn't surprise me. I never pinned him for a coward but then again I never thought he was capable of having sex with my girlfriend behind my back, oh how little we know each other.

"I think you'll find I do. That doctor coming here today was the last fucking straw, sat there all high and mighty patronising me like a child. I don't have a problem I never have done, I am fully aware of what I am doing so you all need to get your heads out of your asses and drop it" I pick my jacket up off of the bed and shrug it on, their eyes widening as they realise I mean exactly what I am saying.

"Where are you going?"

"I told you I'm getting out of here, if you don't unlock the door I will fucking smash the windows so it's your choice" I stand and wait for someone to make a move but they don't, they just keep looking at each other like I am not even in the room. "Well?" Eventually Dylan takes a step towards the door as he fiddles with what I presume are the keys in his pocket, I'm hot on his tail willing him to go faster. I feel Christian's hand on my arm halting me as I reach the bedroom door. His touch burns my skin through the leather of my jacket, like he is pressing a hot branding iron to my flesh and I instinctively yank away. He lost the right to touch me a long time ago.

"Please don't do this, Brody. We just want you to get better, don't leave" I take a step forward and get right in his face never once tearing my eyes away from his, I can feel his ragged breath on my face and my eyes flutter to his lips. Those lips have been all over Ana. Her mouth, her neck, her breasts. He has been where I have been and once again I force myself to swallow the vomit that so desperately wants to come up. He makes me physically sick and I can't even bare to be around him, I only called him here to tell him to fucking leave me alone despite what he might have been hoping. I really, _really _hope he thought I wanted him here so we could sort things out, I hope he is in pain right now as the feeling of rejection stabs him in the chest over and over again. Because that is what he did to me, and lets face it, Karma's a bitch.

"Don't ever touch me again. Stay the hell away from me" I spit through gritted teeth and stalk towards the front door. Dylan is stood in the hallway with that puppy dog expression on his face again but I don't give a fuck. He did this, he brought me here against my will and now I just want to leave. I was willing to be amenable but fuck that now, I need to get out of here.

"Where will you go?"

"None of you're fucking business"

"Brody please, what are you going to do?"

"I'm not gunna' top myself if that's what you're thinking, none of you are fucking worth that. If you must know I'm going to my Dad's, I need to get away from here and away from all of you. Now for the last time open the door" And he does. He slowly twists the keys in the lock and I hear it click open, he doesn't even open it fully before I'm pushing past him and bolting down the street. I don't have my car here so I need to walk.

I glance over my shoulder and see that thankfully no one is following me, I pick up the pace as I dig through the back pocket of my jeans and pull out my phone. Shit, no surprise that the battery is dead. I can't even call a cab so I just keep walking, my heart is pounding through my chest as the now cool afternoon air hits my face. The feeling of freedom engulfs me as I take in my surroundings and I never thought I would feel more grateful to be outside as I do right now. It's only been a couple of days but being holed up inside the same apartment does something to the fucking mind. I walk and I walk and before I know it I'm outside Cassidy's apartment. I didn't even realise that I was headed here but here I am. Her car is parked on the other side of the street so I know she's here. She might have something, something I need. I jog up the steps and bang on the door not even bothering to ring the bell, a woman comes to the door and opens it as she juggles a kid and a stroller, she smiles at me and holds the door open for me so I can go in. I don't even know this woman but she is the first person that has offered me any kindness in the past week or so or maybe even longer, her kid is pulling at her leg as she continues to hold the door and I realise that I'm just stood here like a fucking moron. I let her through and mutter a thanks as I head towards the first flight of stairs.

The elevator is out of service so I take the next flight of stairs two at a time. I knock on her door with force and within seconds it opens. A look of shock spreads across her face as she registers that it's me, she looks good. She's dressed in a tight pair of pants with a low cut tank top and her tits are pushed up so high they are nearly touching her chin.

"What the fuck, where the hell have you been!" She yells as I push past her and step inside.

"I've been busy"

"Busy?" I hear the door slam behind me "I fucking woke up and you were gone, I called you and you didn't even pick up, where the fuck were you?"

"I told you I was busy but I'm back now so quit whining" She comes to a stop in front of me and wisely shuts her mouth. She looks so much better when she isn't fucking talking, If only I could gag her permanently she would be the perfect woman.

"Busy doing what? And why didn't you call me?"

"It doesn't matter. Worried about me were you?" I mutter sarcastically as she rolls her eyes and moves towards the couch, flopping backwards so she lands with a bounce.

"Don't flatter yourself, I just don't like people taking off without telling me that's all. You could have woken me before you left"

"I didn't have time. I'm here now anyway" I kick off my shoes and shrug my jacket off throwing it onto the floor before making my way to the kitchen, I rummage through the cupboards looking for something to drink. Preferably something strong.

"Oh do help yourself" She whines as I locate a half full bottle of vodka and unscrew the cap I take a long pull and rasp out a gasp as the liquid burns my throat. That shit feels good.

"What the hell is wrong with you, you look like you haven't slept in weeks"

"That's because I haven't. I've had a rough few days and I need something" Her eyes meet mine as she cocks an eyebrow and tilts her head.

"Is that all you came here for? A hit?"

"Well I'm not here for your delightful fucking conversation am I"

"Don't be an ass"

"Don't be an idiot, why else would I be here" A sly smirk tugs at the corner of her lips and she stands to her feet straightening her stance.

"I could name a few other things you came here for" She reaches for the hem of her top and pulls it off and over her head. A seductive grin taking over her face as she takes two steps closer towards me. My dick pulses in my pants as I take her in as she stands before me in a fire engine red bra that showcases her ample cleavage. She looks so hot, hot and easy and I know I could have her on her back within seconds if I wanted to. She is soon in front of me and reaching for the button of my jeans but I grab her wrist and stop her.

"No" I almost want to laugh at her horrified expression, she knows she's hot and she knows the effect she has on my cock so when I refuse her it's fucking priceless.

"No?"

"No" I mouth before pressing myself against herm grinding my erection into the one place she needs it most. Her eyes close and she moans audibly, I know she will be absolutely dripping wet right now and the thought has me throbbing once more but I hold off. There's something else I want more. I pull back and lean against the counter as I take another drink.

"Why the hell not?"

"I told you I need something but it's not that. Have you got any?" She huffs like a child and crosses her arms against her chest.

"I might have"

"Don't play games with me have you or haven't you?"

"What's in it for me?" I take a step forward and before she has a chance to respond I grab her face in between my hands and kiss her roughly and like the wet and horny mess that she is she wastes no time in groaning into my mouth and reaching for my denim clad dick, rubbing over the confines of my pants as her tongue twists with mine. I kiss her vigorously for several more minutes before ripping my lips away from hers, her eyes snap open and they are clouded with lust and desire as she tries to catch her breath.

"Give me something and I'll finish what I started" She smirks again and bites her lip, I still hate it when she does that as it only reminds me of Ana and that's something I could do without. She turns around and heads towards the bedroom, I know she keeps her stash in there but I don't know where, if I did that would have been the first place I would have headed to. A few minutes later she emerges with a shit eating grin on her face and a bag of cocaine in her hands. Fucking finally.

"Is this what you wanted?" She taunts seductively as she holds the bag up and dangles it in between her fingers, she's teasing me and working me up. She knows what she's doing. She's stood in her bra with the one thing I so desperately need in her hand. She knows that I'm worked up and horny and within minutes I will have done a line and have her on her back screaming my name. She wants a fuck and this is how she gets it. She's a manipulative bitch but she's got what I need and right now I need it. I move towards her and bend down so that my lips are hovering over hers, she darts her tongue out and I grasp her bottom lip in between my teeth and tug gently. I reach up and grasp the coke in my hands before pulling back. I smirk at her and sit on the floor in front of the coffee table pushing everything off of it. She needn't worry. She will get what she wants as soon as I get what I want.

**Christian's POV**

_Anastasia: 5 missed calls_

I let the latest call go to voicemail and throw my phone on the dash board as I drop my head back against the head rest. I can't talk to her. I can't hear her sweet and angelic voice as Brody's callous and venomous voice is still ringing through my ears. Dylan was a mess when I left, he wasn't crying but he wasn't talking either. His attempts to help his best friend were all in vein and now he's walked out and will most probably never come back. I left him ten minutes ago just as Megan phoned him, he wasted no time in picking up and I know that she was the person he needed not me. I need Ana just as much but I don't know what to say to her, I am just so sick and tired of this whole and sorry mess, this is just the latest curveball that we have been hit with and I don't know how I will tell her Brody is a lost cause and has refused any sort of help. I'm not an idiot and I know what will happen, he will go in search for drugs and fall back into the same old vicious circle once more. I'm just afraid that he won't come back out of it.

_Anastasia calling _

The incessant buzzing returns as I see the screen flashing with her name. She's wondering where I am no doubt, I check my watch and see that it's gone six and I realise that I have been here for over three hours.  
I still feel numb as to what just happened, I knew that it wasn't going to be pretty but I never expected this. I was actually holding out on the hope that he was going to ask for help but that was shot to fucking shit. I need to accept the fact that he is a different person now and we need to let him go as hard at will be, he wants to be left alone and I think that our presence in his life is only worsening his addiction even more.  
I need to get out of here. I twist the fob and ignite the engine to life before pulling out and heading towards Escala.

How the hell did it come to this?

* * *

"Sir? Sir is there anything you need?" Taylor meets me in the foyer as I step off the elevator, his eyes raking over my appearance and I know that he must have been shitting bricks over here as I have been ignoring his calls along with Ana's.

"No. No I'm fine. Where's Anastasia?"

"She's in the library, Sir" I nod at him and tell him that I don't need him for the rest of the night, no doubt he wants to grill me as to where I have been all day but I don't have the time nor the energy to tell him anything. I head for the library and see Ana curled up on one of the oversized armchairs with her head in a book. I'm surprised to see her still in her dress as she usually changes into sweats as soon as she arrives home. She still has her make up on although it looks slightly smeared no doubt as a result from all the sex earlier and her hair is hanging in loose, messy waves. Once again I'm bowled over by how fucking beautiful she is. Who wouldn't go off the rails after losing such an amazing woman like Ana? Because I know I would be as good as dead if she ever left me, which brings me back to the gut wrenching fear I feel every single day. Brody saying it earlier only doubled my doubts and I felt physically sick at the thought of her going back to him.

_What if she does? What if she leaves?_

I walk up behind her and curl my hand underneath her jaw making her squeal in surprise. Her hand flies to her chest as my lips descend to hers, I pepper her lips with soft and gentle kisses before pulling back and lifting her so that she can sit on my lap instead.

"You scared me, where have you been? I thought you were only stopping by at the office quickly?" She drops her book and tucks her head under my chin and presses a soft kiss to my neck, the move so gentle but so intimate.

"I didn't go to the office"

"Huh? You said in your note that -"

"I lied. I didn't go to work" Her head springs back up and she looks right into my eyes, a frown etching her beautiful face.

"Where were you then?" I pause before I answer her, a thousand and one questions are going to fly my way and I need to steel myself for them.

"Dylan's apartment"

"Dylan's? For all this time?" I nod and the frown deepens. I didn't even get round to telling her that Brody was staying at Dylan's apartment, I was intending to but then she told me about Morton and It didn't even seem important anymore.

"Brody was there and he wanted to talk to me" I reach up and smooth my hand over her hair, needing to feel her underneath my fingertips.

"Brody? What, why, when?" She gasps and sits up slightly so that she can see my face better.

"He has been staying there for the past couple of days and he asked to speak to me today, so that's where I was"

"Well what happened? What did he say?" I struggle to even find the right words to say, I don't even know where to start. "It's okay, Christian you can tell me" Once again my girl knows exactly what I am thinking without me having to even say anything.

"It wasn't good. He basically told me and Dylan to fuck off and stop bothering him, a doctor came round this afternoon to assess him and I think it tipped him over the edge, he's refusing the offer for a rehab clinic and he stormed out of Dylan's apartment to god knows where. He doesn't want our help, Ana we have to stop trying" She doesn't say anything she just looks at me, I try and figure out what she is thinking but her facial expression is blank. She isn't crying, she isn't even blinking she's just blank.

"So he just left? Just like that?" I nod "But he's a danger to himself right now what if he does something stupid?"

"Baby, we can't think like that. We just have to hope that he will sort himself out, apparently he's going to his dad's so that can only be a good thing, maybe he will gain some perspective while he's away?" She sits up even more and braces her hands against my chest.

"And what if he doesn't? Christian what if he hurts himself?" Her voice wavers and emotion suddenly floods her face, the asshole side of me is pissed at her for caring but I soon realise how ridiculous that is, she is only concerned.

"He won't, we cant think like that" I stroke her cheek and peck her lips softly.

"What else did he say? I know that he wouldn't have called you round there just for that, so what else did he say?"

"Same old shit" I shrug.

"Like?"

"Telling me how much he hates me and despises me for stealing you, telling me how much he still loves you and wants you back, fuck it was just rehashing all that crap and of course Evie came into it -"

"Evie? Why were you talking about her?" _Oh shit! _I didn't even realise I had just said that. The frown is back on her face and she is scouring my own like fucking crazy, as soon as she hears Evie's name she turns into the devil woman.

"Oh you know, I just told him that he lost you as soon as he met up with her and he needs to accept that" I can feel her eyes boring into me as I look away not wanting to give her eye contact.

"Was that all?"

"Yes" I meet her gaze once more and her eyes have narrowed into slits.

"You're lying" _Fuck._

"What? No I'm not, Ana don't be ridiculous"

"You're lying I know you are. You always look to the floor when you're nervous and right now I can tell that you're nervous" I exhale and pinch the bridge of my nose. I really don't want to tell her about Brody sleeping with Evie but she knows there's something else going on. This woman is shrewd and intelligent and she knows when there is more to a story.

"Ana -"

"Don't 'Ana' me, just tell me. What else did Brody say about her?"

"You wont lose your shit when I tell you?" She scoots up higher so that she is sitting on the very edge of my lap, there is nothing intimate about this embrace anymore.

"Depends. Just tell me" When I hesitate her hand flies up and swats me on the chest "Fucking tell me, Christian!"

"Don't swear at me, Anastasia"

"Stop stalling then! You're starting to piss me off, Christian you know something and you're not telling me, you always do this you always with hold information even though you know I will find out eventually, stop being an asshole -"

"He slept with her" The words leave my mouth before I even realise what I am saying. That was _not _how I wanted her to find out. Her eyes widen a fraction more and she her mouth remains agape from where she was mid sentence until I interrupted her.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, baby I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. They slept together"

"Recently?" She stands and moves off my lap, I try and pull her back down but she's not having any of it. She's pissed and to be honest so am I. She shouldn't be affected by this anymore this is old news.

"Yes and no"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"They slept together a couple of weeks ago, after you had left. And there was a time before" I mutter and risk a glance at her, her eyes well with tears and she sucks in a ragged breath.

"When we were together?" I can only nod. I hear a whimper escape her throat and rage engulfs me. She _is _affected by this. I get that it must hurt knowing you have been cheated on but she is with _me _now not Brody, she always had her suspicions so this shouldn't even come as much of a shock.

"How long ago?"

"What does it matter?" I snap more forcefully than I intended to and lean forward so that my elbows are resting on my spread knees.

"Of course it matters, if Brody was unfaithful I want to know when it was"

"When you first got together, do you remember him going out for a bachelor party?" Her eyes roll and I can tell she is back tracking in her mind. She pauses before giving a tiny nod and if I wasn't looking so intently at her I would have missed it. "He bumped into her at the club, and well, you can guess what happened"

"He had sex with her?" She spits and when I look back up again she has a murderous look on her face, pissing me off further.

"Yes he had sex with her, why do you even fucking care?" Her eyes widen but then narrow onto me once more.

"What is that supposed to mean? I'm sorry if I'm not jumping for joy at the thought of my boyfriend cheating on me"

"_Ex _boyfriend. He's your fucking ex boyfriend, Ana and you need to let it go. What's done is done"

"Did you really just say that? What the hell is your problem?" I spring to my feet and stand inches away from her.

"Do you still love him?" She gasps and automatically takes a step backwards. I wasn't planning on asking that question but I have been holding off for so long now and I've had enough of pretending that it's not what I am thinking about every damn day.

"What?"

"You heard me? Just answer the question, do you still love him?" My voice softens and I hear the wobble on the end of that sentence, I didn't want to ask but I needed to. She is clearly upset by what I have just told her and I want to know why.

"Christian, why would you even say that?"

"Please don't stall, Ana just tell me. I can handle it" _I can't fucking handle it. _I lower my head and place my hands on my hips, my stance resembling my mood. Slack and defeated. I feel her small hands on my chest for a few seconds before moving to my cheeks. Her touch feels warm and soft and all I want to do is crush her to me and hold her. I just want to hold her but I can't bring myself to touch her.

"Christian look at me" I don't "Look at me please" I nervously make eye contact with her and instantly wish that I didn't, a tear rolls down her cheek and she tilts her head to the side "Of course I don't still love him, I love you how can you even ask me that?" Relief washes over me but the anxiety doesn't ease. I'm not entirely convinced she is telling the complete truth and that cuts deep.

"Please just be honest with me, Ana. I _need _you to be honest with me"

"I am being honest! I. Don't. Love. Him. I stopped loving him as soon as I met you! It's you I want, Christian I swear it!" I try and pull away from her but her grip on me only tightens even more. "No! Don't you dare try and pull away from me Christian Grey I won't let you! You have to believe me" She chokes back a sob and my heart shatters into a million pieces. She doesn't want me not deep down, I don't doubt that she loves me but something isn't right.

"Ana, let go of me" She doesn't. She shudders against me as her head drops against my chest and the sobs rack her body. Her arms fly around my back and her hands rest on my shoulder blades.

"Please believe me, I love you!" I place my hands on her arms and force her to relinquish her hold on me even though she puts up a fight. I cup her jaw with my hands and tilt her tear stained face to mine.

"I love you too" She closes her eyes and sucks in a breath as her shoulders sag in relief "But I can't do this anymore" Her blue orbs fly open once more and her mouth pops open in shock, her bottom lip quivers and she shakes her head.

"W…What do you m…mean?"

"I don't think you know what you want, Ana. I love you so much but this is all so fucking confusing, we got together too quick and it's coming back to bite us on the ass. I don't know where we are heading right now" Her fingers curl around my wrists to hold me there as another sob escapes her throat.

"That's b…bullshit! Don't you dare say that to me you asshole!" She tries to yell but her vocal chords won't let her, they just wobble instead so that it comes out as a strangled cry.

"It's not bullshit, Ana it's the truth. I saw the look in your eyes as I was telling you about Evie, it hurt you" I go to move my hands and this time she lets me.

"Of course it hurt me! I have been lied to for a year and everyone except me knew about it! Of course I am upset"

"I get that but there's more to it I can just feel it in here" I tap my chest where my heart is and bend down so I am at eye level with her "This all happened so fast. Too fast"

"We couldn't help it though we fell in love! We didn't choose this but it happened" She attempts to dash the tears away with the back of her hand but her efforts are futile as they are falling thick and fast,

"I should have stayed away from you, I should have never pursued you the way I did" She staggers backwards and her hand flies to her mouth. My heart is fucking breaking with every word I speak but I need to get this out because if I don't do it now then I never will.

"You don't mean that!"

"I do. You were my best friend's girlfriend, Anastasia. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking" I shake my head and run my hands through my hair, it's like we have stepped into another dimension. This afternoon we were happy and in love but right now I don't know what the hell is going to happen. Seeing Brody has opened my eyes to some harsh realities that I didn't want to face. I broke him, _we _broke him and now he has nothing.

"Stop portraying what we did as wrong, Christian!"

"It was wrong!" I scream making her flinch. "Don't you see how wrong it really fucking was? Do you realise what we have done to him, he is a fucking cocaine addict!" Her sobs seize and her eyes slit slightly.

"What _we_ have done to him? He did this to himself! He cheated on me and continued to treat me like shit, our relationship was dead in the water long before you came along I was just too oblivious to realise it. _That _is why I was so hurt when you told me about Evie. I feel like an idiot for even staying as long as I did!" She takes two steps closer to me and places her hands back on my chest, rubbing up and down rhythmically as her eyes train on the movements of her palms. "You made me realise what I didn't have with him, _you _made me see what real love is, Christian you!" Her forehead rests against mine and I can feel her shuddering breaths on my lips, her hands find their way into my hair and her fingers curl at my nape twisting and tugging.

"Ana , don't -"

"Please don't push me away, I love you" Her lips press against mine and I can taste the salty tang from her tears, she coaxes my lips with her own but I remain still. "I love you" She whispers before kissing me again and with more determination this time, I can't help the whimper that escapes my throat. This is all so fucking messed up and I don't know what to do, all I know is that I love her so much I can barely breathe. My tongue darts out and strokes against hers as I finally relent and grant her entrance, she sags against me as my arms engulf her waist lifting her off of the floor so that I can walk with her. She claws at my tee shirt desperately trying to rip it off as her legs wrap around my waist.

Our kiss is harsh and rough as we dance that all familiar dance and I can feel the emotion pouring out of her in spades, she is still sobbing against my mouth and it only spurs my own tears to fall. This feels like goodbye and I fucking hate it, I hate that I feel so helpless and pathetic when all I want to do is love this woman and take care of her. I want to live with her and make her my wife, I want to give her children and watch her nurture a family for us. I don't want _this. _

Before I am even aware my pants are pooled at my feet along with my boxers and Ana's dress is somehow strewn across the room as well as my tee shirt as I pin her to the wall. She is writhing in my hold as her hands wrap around my back and scrape across my shoulders.

"Aaaah fuck, Ana!" I groan into her mouth as my tongue plunders inside her once more, she gyrates her hips against mine and thrashes her head backwards so it hit's the wall, my hand snakes into her hair so I can hold her still as I suck and nip at the hollow of her throat. She is moaning so loud, louder than I have ever heard her and I can't figure out whether it is turning me on or breaking my heart. She is still crying when I rip her panties off and slam into her, I grip her hips and bury my face in her neck as I halt my movements completely, I feel Ana's body shaking in my hold and I think for a minute that she has completely broken down crying until I realise that she has actually reached her climax, she sobs and shudders against me as her walls clench and pulse around my dick. Her arms tighten around my neck as she rides out her release.

Fuck I can't even describe this feeling right now, I have never known her to come so fast and hard like that before and I know it's because this sexual and emotional tension between us is so intense and overwhelming, I feel another tear roll down my cheek but I will myself to stop crying so I can make love to her the way I so desperately need to.

"Move, Christian please. I need to feel you moving inside me" She whimpers as her arms tighten around me, I shift her a bit higher and grip right underneath her ass as I kiss her neck, I need to feel her just as much as she needs to feel me. I pull out and oh so slowly ease back into her, I push and pull until I can go no further, I angle both of our hips and gasp when I fill her right to the hilt, I raise my head and almost come right on the spot as I take all of her in, she has her head against the wall and her mouth is hanging open in ecstasy, thankfully she has stopped crying and I know that she just wants to feel this connection as much as I do. I thrust into her sharply causing her to fall forward, I feel her hair tickling my shoulders from where it tumbled forward when she moved her head. I fuck her slow and hard and surprisingly neither of us are making any sound, we are both silent and the only noise filling the room are those of our heavy breathing and occasional grunts.

"Don't let me go, Christian please" She mewls and the double meaning isn't lost on me, she's telling me not to drop her at this moment in time and not to let go of her at altogether, she's begging me with her body to stick this out and not give up.

"I've got you, baby. I've got you" And with those words she detonates. She shatters into a million pieces around me as her orgasm consumes her to the point of no return, the feel of her quivering around me pushes me over the edge and I have to fight the urge to sag to the floor. My legs feel like they want to give way as the spasms roll through me relentlessly, this is so fucking intense and we have hardly moved. We have both reached mutual climaxes purely from this undeniable connection along with the odd push and pull. I hold her for what feels like forever, my legs and arms are starting to ache but I don't want to let her go, I don't want to pull out of her because I am scared of what will happen when I do. Her lips glide across my neck lazily as my fingers knead her ass, I'm still hard even though I have just experienced the most single and intense release of my life, this is what this beautiful, amazing and wonderful woman does to me.

I lift my head up and slowly pull out of her, lowering her gently so that her feet touching the floor before I let her go.  
We stand there just staring at each other, I am naked whereas Ana is leaning against the wall in only her bra, her hair is even more of a mess than it was before and her lips are swollen, her cheeks are tearstained and her eyes are puffy. How can she still manage to look so fucking beautiful right now?  
Neither of us move we just stand and gaze, our mouths unwilling to move whereas our eyes are doing all the talking. How did we come to this in a matter of hours? How could this happen?

"I ummm…I think I should maybe stay at Kate's tonight" Her voice is barely above a whisper but I hear every painful word. All I can do is nod, I don't know what else to do. I watch as she fixes her bra and steps into her dress, her panties are nothing more than a scrap of lace on the floor so she decides to just leave them where they are. After a beat I too dress myself, I feel numb as I button my jeans and run my hands through my hair. She moves towards the door and opens it slowly. I follow her every step of the way, I follow her into the kitchen where she retrieves her purse and I follow her to the foyer where she presses the call button for the elevator. I pull out my phone and speed dial Sawyer telling him to meet Ana downstairs with the car.

"Will you umm, will you call me when you get to Kate's?" I shift on the spot and fist my hands in my pockets not being able to even look her in the eye.

"Yeah I will. Christian?" My head snaps up when I hear my name leaving her lips "What's going to happen with us?" My heart sinks, she has just asked the question I have been too terrified to even formulate, all I can do is pull her into my arms, I place my hand on the back of her head and pull her so that she is planted firmly against my chest, my other arm wraps around her waist as she snuggles into my chest.

"Will we be okay?"

"I hope so. I want us to be, I love you so much, Anastasia" I press my lips against her forehead firmly.

"I love you too, you know that don't you?" She asks and I know she's referring to my question earlier. I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me but I needed to know if I was the _only _one she loved. Ironically that isn't even the issue at hand here, the crux of the problem is our betrayal and how we came to be, we have caused a lot of damage to Brody and others around us and until we figure out how to deal with that I'm not sure where we are headed.

"I know, you are the love of my life and I want us to get through this. We just have to figure out a way" I whisper against her ear and squeeze her one last time before releasing her. Bending down I press my lips against hers gently as the elevator doors open, she hesitantly steps inside and leans against the railings in the far corner.

"I love you" I say one more time as the doors close and she disappears from my vision. My heart drops into my stomach as I bend forward and grasp my knees as if trying to catch my breath. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to think clearly everything feels like such a fucking mess. I have to find a way to fix this before I lose her for good.

**Anastasia's POV**

Somehow I managed to get through my first day of work. This was _not _how I imagined the start of my dream job taking off, it was amazing and I loved every minute of it but I can't get Christian out of my head no matter how hard I try. I threw myself into work and I know I surprised my supervisor with how keen and enthusiastic I was but I knew if I didn't busy myself I would break down and cave in to the tears that have been threatening to fall ever since I left his apartment on Saturday night.

He called me this morning wishing me luck but I hated how awkward the conversation was, I miss him and I hate the place we are in right now. I get that he feels guilty for what has happened to Brody and he can't get over it but I just want my man back. Brody isn't a saint and he has done nothing but lay the blame at everyone else's door when in actual fact he is more to blame for what happened. He cheated on me with that whore and continued to lie to me, I thought we were happy but I can't believe how _unhappy _we actually were. Compared to how Christian makes me feel it doesn't even come close to how I felt whilst I was with Brody.

"Stop fucking moping and get ready!" I jump out of my skin as Kate appears in the doorway of my bedroom with her fists balled at her hips. She wants to go out to celebrate my first day at work tonight and I couldn't actually think of anything worse. She's called Olivia and they have already decided we will be going to the Purple Café and Wine Bar, all I want to do is stuff my face with chocolate and ice cream as I watch soppy chick flicks and depress myself over my current situation.

"I don't want to go I've told you" I flop backwards on to the bed and spread my arms above my head.

"Nonsense! You started your new job today and we want to take you out, come on Steele don't be a grump!" She throws the cushion from the chair in front of my dresser at me and pulls on my legs trying to get me to move.

"Kate, leave me alone! You go out I just want to stay here!"

"Okay I've had enough of your whining, I get that you and Christian are in some sort of weird head space at the minute but that does not give you an excuse to wallow in your own misery"

"We might be over for good, Kate that's serious!" I grab the pillow and cover my face with it, fighting the urge to scream into the fabric.

"You won't be over for good you're just taking a bit of time out to figure your shit out there is nothing wrong with that, look at me and Elliot. It took us months to figure out what we wanted"

"Are you seriously comparing us to you and Elliot? Completely different situations and you know it"

"Not really. Both fucking messed up when you think about it, anyway come on we have half an hour before we have to leave so chop chop!" She claps her hands together before she leaves the room. I know they will drag me kicking and screaming if I don't get a move on so I reluctantly drag my ass off the bed and get changed.

* * *

"I think Brody has done all of this on purpose if you ask me, he knows _exactly _what he is doing by going off the rails"

"Well I didn't ask you did I, Kate. And who the hell gets hooked on cocaine on purpose?" I scrunch my face up and drain the last of my third cosmopolitan and slam the glass on the table. This is all we have been talking about all night and it's starting to piss me off. I love Kate to death but she hasn't got a clue what she is on about when it comes to Brody, she thinks his moves are calculated and premeditated and as much as I wish that were true it isn't. Brody has issues and they stem from something a lot deeper than my relationship with his ex best friend.

"I'm just saying! He was never this crazy before was he, what the hell happened to him over night?"

"His best friend and his girlfriend hooking up might have had something to do with it" Olivia murmurs almost subconsiously over the rim of her cocktail glass and her eyes widen when she catches my eye, realising what she has just said "Shit sorry, Ana I didn't mean that"

"Well you're not wrong are you, that is after all the reason Christian and I aren't talking"

"I thought you spoke to him this morning?"

"You know what I mean, Kate" I huff "We're not exactly all sunshine and smiles right now are we, I miss him"

"It will all work itself out don't worry, Christian worships the ground you walk on anyone with eyes can see that"

"I'm scared he will realise he's better off without me, Brody meant the world to him and I pushed them apart"

"Will you stop that, Christian played a part in this just as much as you did. You both fell in love remember?" I trail my index finger around the rim of my glass and bite my lip as I contemplate Kate's words. We _did _fall in love even though we never should have, we should have fought our feelings but it was impossible, they were too strong to deny and Brody just happened to be in the firing line.

"I guess you're right"

"I know I'm right, now lets get another drink shall we"

"I'm only having one more then I'm heading off, I've got work in the morning remember"

"Oh yeah, you have a nine to five job now don't you. None of this shift work for you anymore" Kate smirks at me as she clicks her fingers at the passing waiter, I really wish she wouldn't do that it makes us look like spoilt bitches.

"I'm going to the bathroom I'm busting. Watch my bag I'll be two minutes" I make my way over to the spiral staircase that leads to the second flight down the hallway, I fucking hate how many stairs this place has it's hard work enough especially when you've had a bit to drink.

As always there's a queue and I wait for what feels like hours before a cubicle eventually becomes available, I literally push the woman out of the way as she steps out. I should have just peed in the street it would have been a lot quicker.  
Even though it's a Monday night the place is heaving filled with people out for dinner, or people like me who have been dragged out by their pushy best friends who never know when to quit.  
I walk out of the bathroom and lean against the wall near the fire exit in the far corner just needing a minute to myself before heading back downstairs, I pull my phone out of my jeans pocket and see that Christian hasn't called or text all night, I messaged him telling him that we were coming here but I heard nothing back. I feel like he is pulling further and further away from me and I hate it. I need to hear his voice so I just decide to call him even if he doesn't want to speak to me.

_Grey. Leave a message._

His sexy, baritone, st voice reverberates through the speaker and the goose bumps form on my bare arms like they always do when I hear his voice.

"Hey it's me. Well of course you know it's me you saw my caller ID no doubt, anyway I'm just calling to tell you that we're still at the bar and I'll be heading home soon if you want to come around so we can talk, I miss you and I just want to see you. Please call me back so I know you're okay. I love you" I hang up and stash my phone back in my pocket. I wouldn't be surprised if he ignored my call on purpose but there is no way in hell I am going down without a fight, I love him and I want him back.

I push myself off the wall but as I take two steps forward I feel pressure on my forearm as a hand wraps around me and pulls me back, I try to turn around but the other hand clamps over my mouth to stop me from making any noise. My heart rate accelerates as I am pulled into a hard chest and dragged towards what looks like the fire exit. The cold air hits my face as I am pressed against the railings at the top of the metal stair case. I feel the hand on my mouth pull away and I open my eyes. Fear crippling my entire body as I see who is in front of me.

"Shhh, don't scream, Ana it's just me. It's just me baby" His voice pierces the air and I freeze as my hands reach out to grip the railing behind me.

"Brody?"


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N - I LOVED the response the last chapter received and how you were all trying to guess what is going to happen!  
****I try to make sure I reply to all the reviews you guys give me but it****'****s not always possible, but I read every single one and you****'****re all amazeeeee (: **

**Now, I know how cruel I was leaving you all hanging like that so without further ado****…**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 28 - Nightmare come true.  
**

**Christian****'****s POV**

I feel like fucking shit. I've felt like shit ever since Ana left here on Saturday night and the feeling of pure disappointment and regret hasn't eased one bit, I made her walk away and now all I can do is sit here wallowing in my own self pity wishing I could turn back time and take the awful things I said back. It's not like I didn't mean what I said because I did, we _did _betray Brody on some level and no matter how much we try and pretty it all up the remorse still lingers there beneath the surface.

_But__…__._

We weren't in the wrong for deciding to be together, by chance I met the most beautiful and perfect woman and somehow she fell in love with me as fast and hard as I fell in love with her. Before she came into my life I was merely existing, sure enough I had my family and friends as well as my own business that was making me richer than fucking ever but it wasn't enough - And no amount of easy women who would drop their knickers at the click of my fingers were enough - They scratched the itch that needed scratching from time to time but they were nothing more, not one of them made a lasting impact on me or made me feel even an inch of happiness that Anastasia made me feel every single damn day - I can't even say I lusted after half of them all that much if I'm completely honest with myself but I'm a man, and when a single man without any responsibilities gets offered tits and ass on a plate near enough every Friday night they _are_ going to take it.

_But that was before, Ana._

This girl walked up to me hand in hand with my best friend dressed in jeans and a low cut tank top and I instantly felt a connection that I had only ever read about, she held out her hand and smiled at me and I swear my heart actually fucking stopped beating. At the time I put it down to admiring a beautiful woman when I saw one but that was all bull shit, after half an hour I was hanging on her every word like a little puppy dog that was obsessed with their owner and I knew what was going to happen as soon as we headed to the club, add sultry music and grinding bodies to the mix and you have just created sexual tension at it's very fucking best.

She felt it I know she did, she caught me watching her dance and she did nothing to stop me or warn me off of her. She could have pushed me to the side and chew my ass out for acting inappropriate towards her but did she? _Nope,_ she carried on the fucking show looking more hotter than ever, she knew exactly what she was doing to me and she loved it. I would catch her eye and see her staring at me, biting that delectable fucking lip as her blue orbs raked over my body all night. No, we were _both _falling for each other at exactly the same time but for what I'm not really sure? Was I just pining for a quick hard fuck to get her out my system or was I longing for more right from the very beginning? I don't even need to think twice about that one, Anastasia Steele captivated me at hello and I knew I was one fucked fucker.

Which brings me back to this god damn ridiculous situation. We're in love with each other so why the hell are we acting like we committed fucking murder? I feel bad, like _really _bad for my role in Brody's downfall but as Ana told me in the library, He did this to himself. He didn't deserve her and he never should have had her in the first place, I just wish that we didn't wait a year to meet our best friend's girlfriend because I know I sure as hell would have taken her away from him a lot sooner, as much as I love - _loved _Brody, I love Ana a whole damn site more and I would do anything to protect her and keep her safe. I just don't know how the hell I am supposed to make this up to her, where do I even start?

No doubt she hates me right now, even if she doesn't hate me I know she wont like me very much. I really hurt her, I pushed her away and made her feel like I cared more about Brody's feelings than hers - Granted at the time I _was _thinking about Brody but not in the way that Ana thinks, seeing him just messed with my head and I wouldn't be surprised if that was his plan when he asked for me to come over, he knows what pushes my buttons and he _knows _whenever he talks about Ana I lose my shit.

She sounded so cold on the phone this morning, I called her first thing so I could wish her luck for her first day at work but I could tell she couldn't wait to hang up. That hurt like a fucker but what should I expect? I had planned a romantic weekend for us so that she would be relaxed and happy before she started SIP but I fucked all that up like the complete prick I am, I wanted to take her out on the yacht and make love to her over and over again only stopping to eat, but what did we do instead? We both sat at our apartments miserable, we woke up this morning miserable, she would have started her first day at work - doing the job that _I _pushed her to pursue - _fucking _miserable. I am one fucking dumb ass, bastard.

"Are you going to stare at the wall all night or are you going to get off your ass and actually do something?" I am brought back to reality by the sound of my brother's voice coming from the far corner of the room, he left to fetch a crate of beer forty five minutes ago and I haven't moved from this spot since. I crane my head around to look at him before returning my gaze back to the fireplace, has it always been there? I don't remember having it installed. Funny, this is my apartment but I had fuck all in deciding what I wanted and where. I just paid a team of interior designers to hone in and transform the place within a week. Story of my life when I think about it, throw money at something and you can get whatever you want - Except the woman you love.

"You seriously need to grow some balls, you're acting like a pussy"

"And you need to seriously get out of my face and leave me the fuck alone"

"Don't take your bad mood out on me dick head, it's not my fault you acted like a complete tool and pushed your girlfriend away" Elliot pops the top off a Budvar and places it in front of me, he always resorts to getting me wasted when shit hit's the fan and it pisses me off. I don't want to drink, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be left alone so that I can rot in my own bowels of hell.

"Why are you here? Because you're sure as fuck not helping me" He takes a swig of beer and settles back in to the arm chair opposite me.

"Because you're my brother, and because I don't actually get off on the thought of you being upset, and because when I'm not here you put on this depressing crap seriously Christian, what the fuck is this shit?" He scrunches his face up and points his thumb over his shoulder towards the sound system on the far wall that is playing Nelly Furtado's _Try. _

"It's one of Ana's favourites, I find it comforting if you must know" I lay my head back and stare at the ceiling.

"It's fucking depressing that's what it is, since when did you listen to this tripe"

"Since my girlfriend left me and my life turned into a big, black fucking hole"

"Enough with the dramatics she hasn't left you, if anything you left her" I lift my head quickly and wince slightly as I feel it crack, he's settled into the cushion of the chair with his ankle crossed over his knee as he twirls the beer around in his bottle. I want to break his nose.

"Excuse me? I did _not _leave her, why would you say that?"

"Don't fucking cry about it I'm just telling you what I see"

"What you see? You weren't even here asshole so how do you figure that one out?" He rolls his eyes at me.

"Two words Christian. Women. Talk" He enunciates each word slowly as he looks at me with wide, mocking eyes. Did I mention that I want to break his nose? "Ana tells Kate everything and then Kate tells me which to be honest, I could do without hearing it bores me fucking rigid"

"What has Ana told Kate? Did she tell her everything I said? Did she say she wants to leave me? Oh my GOD is she leaving me?" I get out in one rushed breath as my heart rate accelerates.

"Calm the fuck down bro she didn't say anything about wanting to leave you, she just thinks you want out and have had enough. And lets be honest do you blame her, you didn't exactly leave her with much hope before she left did you?" I lean forward and tug at my hair roughly as panic starts to set in.

"I told her I loved her, I told her she was the love of my life"

"Yeah and that's all well and beautiful, Christian but you basically told her your relationship was toxic and full of betrayal, that shit doesn't do anything for a woman's ego" _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

"It wasn't like that, I just didn't know what else to do. The guilt was eating away at me, Elliot!"

"I get that I really do, but she was fucking heartbroken, man. Kate said she got home and locked herself away in her bedroom all night"

"Was she crying?" My heart twists at the thought of my girl crying, I thought I was going to disintegrate into a break down when she was sobbing in my arms before she left, fuck she was even crying during sex! I don't think she stopped crying once.

"Kate heard her around 2am when she went to the bathroom but other than that I don't know, I doubt she's walking on sunshine right now"

"She's gone out" I mutter before taking a drink "If she was that miserable why she would be out drinking?"

"Don't be an ass, Christian. Kate literally had to fucking drag her out she didn't even want to go" Ana text me an hour ago telling me they were heading to the Purple Café and Wine Bar. At first I was pissed at her for going out without me and on a week night at that but then I realised how petty that was. She's a twenty three year old woman and she has her own mind, that didn't stop me telling Sawyer to follow her though, although I thought about that one in advance, if Ana knew I had security on her while we are going through this she would flip her shit. So I told him to park across the street out of sight but visible enough so he could see when she leaves. I haven't heard anything from him so I'm guessing they are still there much to my annoyance.

"Your girlfriend is one royal pain in the ass do you know that? She's so fucking pushy with Ana all the time it bugs the hell out of me" I expect him to lay into me for that disrespectful comment but instead I look up to find him smirking.

"Yeah I know but she means well, Ana is more than her best friend they're more like sisters. You should be grateful Ana has someone like Kate looking out for her the way she does, in fact you should be grateful Kate isn't here _right _now ripping your dick off and using your balls for earrings" _Fucking smartass._

My blackberry buzzes to life on the coffee table and my heart literally leaps out of my chest when I see Ana's name. _She__'__s calling me._

"Well, are you going to answer that?" I hear Elliot's voice but I don't respond, I just stare at my phone wondering what the fuck to do, what do I say to her? What will she say to me? A few seconds later the call cuts off and I inwardly punch myself.

"Nice fucking one, that was your chance to talk to her and you blew it!"

"Shut up. It took me by surprise that was all I wasn't expecting her to call me"

"Well it looks like she has something to say" He motions to my phone with his eyes and sure enough a message beeps alerting me that Ana has left a voice mail.

"What do you think she has said on it?" I ask him as I run my hand through my hair and chew my thumb nail nervously.

"Why are you asking me that when you can just listen to it? Seriously Christian for a bright guy you are really fucking obtuse sometimes, just play the damn message!" Before I bottle it I snatch the phone off of the table and press the key that connects me to her voice mail and after a second or two her sweet voice echoes through my ears.

"_Hey it__'__s me. Well of course you know it__'__s me you saw my caller ID no doubt, anyway I__'__m just calling to tell you that we__'__re still at the bar and I__'__ll be heading home soon if you want to come around so we can talk, I miss you and I just want to see you. Please call me back so I know you__'__re okay. I love you__"_

"Well, what did she say?" Elliot asks as I hang up but I don't even know what to tell him right now. _She still loves me. She still loves me. She still loves me._

"She said 'I love you'"

"That's it? Just 'I love you?"

"And that she wants me to go round her apartment tonight so that we can talk. She said she misses me" I tell him numbly as I stare at my now blank screen, wishing it would come back to life again.

"Well what the fuck are you waiting for?" Elliot jumps to his feet and holds his arms out.

"What?"

"She wants to talk to you so why are we still sat here like limp dicks, come on I'll drive" He is already halfway across the great room before I even manage to engage my brain with my feet and tell them to move.

"Elliot wait I'm not sure about this"

"Why not? That was your green light, she wouldn't ask you to come round if she didn't want to see you" He pulls his jacket on and bends down to tie the laces on his boots.

"What if she wants to see me so she can tell me it's over?" I breathe out in a gruff whisper.

"If she wanted to do that why would she tell you she loves you? Or misses you for that matter? You're over thinking this just come the fuck on before it's too late and she gives up on your sorry ass for good" He slaps my bicep roughly and stabs the call button for the elevator.

He's right. She wants to see me so I need to go to her, right? Of course I do. I have already been a complete asshole and I cant risk her walking away from me for good, by some miracle she still loves me and that alone fills me with hope. Even If she tells me to fuck off I at least know I tried, but there's not a chance in fucking hell I will let her go without a fight.

Not now, not ever.

**Anastasia****'****s POV**

Fear. A strange emotion but yet so powerful. What causes it? What could be _so_ terrifying it causes your entire body to freeze as the trepidation and panic takes hold and consumes your mind and soul.  
Your heart rate quickens, your palms become clammy and your throat constricts. Every time you attempt to swallow you have to literally gulp past the ball that seems to be lodged down there and unwilling to move, the urge to cry takes over and you fight with every fibre of your being to stay strong because if you don't what happens?

Do you break down? Do you crumble? One thing for sure is that you become vulnerable.

You become a target and you are instantly perceived as weak. And it is weak right? Because what is it you are so afraid of? Is it the fear of a phobia? Unpredictability? Death? _Survival?  
_Or is the fear of the unknown? To me that is the biggest one of all, not knowing what the outcome of a situation will be, will it turn out in your favour or the complete opposite? Not knowing if your whole world will be turned upside down at the blink of an eye is truly petrifying.  
I have only felt that fear once before in my life when my step father was on top of me un-buckling his pants so that he could rape me. And now I can feel that same sinking feeling creep in.

As I stand here on this fire escape face to face with my ex boyfriend I feel nothing but petrified. He has me rooted to the spot as he pierces me with his ice cold eyes, the eyes that would once fill me with warmth now only fill me with dread. What is he doing here? What does he want? I breathe through my nose and blink several times to prevent the tears that are threatening to fall from falling. I don't know how long I stand here just staring at him, the words are struggling to even form in my mouth so that I can speak.

"B..Brody? What are you doing here?" He cocks his head to the side staring into my eyes and I feel like he can see right through me. It's as if he is trying to read my mind and guess my thoughts. A chill runs right through me as his face breaks out into a grin that I can only describe as fucking disturbing, Has he always looked like that when he smiles?

"I'm here to see you of course, I miss you so fucking much and I knew that I couldn't just approach you at the table with Kate and Olivia there so I waited for you to come up here" He makes it sound like we're old friends who haven't seen each other in years?! What the hell is he thinking?

"You shouldn't be here, you know you shouldn't be anywhere near me" I try and keep my voice level but I know I'm failing miserably, I'm fucking scared but I don't want him to see that.

"Why not?" He frowns obviously confused "Haven't you missed me, baby?" I want to gag when he calls me baby and I have to literally fight the bile rising in my throat as his hand reaches up and strokes my cheek. He takes a step forward and I automatically take a step backwards but with the railing behind me there is nowhere else for me to go, I can smell the stench of whiskey on his breath and I wonder for a fleeting moment if that's all he has been taking? Is he high right now? I've never came across a person under the influence of drugs before so I wouldn't even know what the hell to look for.

"Brody, you shouldn't be out here. I think I should go back inside now"

"You look so beautiful, you have no idea how much I have missed you these past couple of weeks baby. Fuck it's been hell" He's still stroking my cheek and he now has his other hand on my hip. Has his touch always repulsed me like this? Or is it because I have now experienced the touch of Christian and understand what love really feels like for the first time in my life? _Christian! _My mind instantly flits to my man and I have to breathe through a sob resonating deep in my chest, I want to go to him. I want to curl up in his arms and stay there forever. _Why the fuck did I come out tonight instead of going to him?_

"Listen, Brody -" I'm cut off with his lips as they crash onto mine. He grasps my face as my hands fly out and land on his chest, I push with all my strength to try and get him off me but it's to no avail he's too strong. I whimper in disgust but he clearly mistakes it for pleasure as he groans into my mouth. I think I am actually going to be sick. I finally muster up enough strength to push him off me and when his lips detach from mine I instinctively wipe them with my h and, needing to remove the feel and taste of him off my skin.

"Why are you fighting it? I know you want me, Ana" _He__'__s fucking delusional!_

"No. I. Don't. I don't want you, Brody! Why are you even here I thought you were going to you're dad's?!" His eyes morph from lust to rage in one split second.

"Is that what _he _told you? Huh, did he?!"

"Who?"

"Don't act fucking dumb Ana it really doesn't suit you, you know exactly what I am talking about"

"No I really don't -" He cuts me off once again but this time its not with his lips it's with his hand as it curls around my throat, my face is tilted higher so that I am eye level with him and his thumb presses into the base of my throat.

"Don't. Piss. Me. Off. You will make me angry and you really don't want to see me when I'm angry, Now stop fucking lying to me and tell me the truth, who told you I was going to my dad's?" He spits out inches away from my face as his hand remains around my throat, okay now I really am scared. He could strangle me right here on the stairs and who would even know about it? I decide not to antagonise him any further, I'm really not in the position to antagonise him.

"Christian" I manage to choke out as his hand applies more pressure to my throat.

"I'm sorry what was that? I didn't quite hear you" _Fucking bastard!_

"Christian!" As soon as the words leave my mouth he releases me, my hand flying to my neck as I rub gently. That fucker is going to leave a mark.

"Oh that's right your lover boy. How fucking sweet, so that's still going on is it?"

"You know it is"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe I just want to hear you say it" Okay, if he wants me to bite, I'll bite.

"Yes it's still going on. We're still together and before you ask yes, I'm still in love with him" His face drops and his eyes well with tears, Fuck this guy is even more mercurial than Christian! His emotions are all over the place!

"You don't mean that" He rasps out.

"I do. I'm not saying it to hurt you, Brody but it's the truth. I don't love you any more" In a flash he is grabbing for my arms and slamming me against the door, I yelp as my head makes contact with the wood behind me knocking the wind out of me slightly.

"Yes you do, I know you do! This is him, he is brain washing you and making you feel what he wants you to feel. I know it's me you still love"

"No it's not. You need to except that it's over between us and move on!" He opens his mouth to speak but decides to stay quiet as we hear faint voices coming from the distance in the hallway.

"_There is no fucking queue for the toilet Kate, so if she__'__s not here where is she?!__"_Christian!

"_I don__'__t know, this was where she definitely went and she hasn__'__t came back down so she must be up here, let me check the stalls__"_Before I can even produce the breath to scream Brody's hand clamps over my mouth as he presses himself against me, mouthing a _"__Shhhh__"_and pushing my body into the door. I vaguely feel a vibrating in my pocket but choose to ignore it.

"_Well?__"_

"_She__'__s not in there__"_

"_FUCK Kate! Why the hell didn__'__t you go with her? Where is she?!__"_

"_I don__'__t fucking know stop yelling at me she probably went outside for some fresh air!__"_

"_You better hope and fucking prey that__'__s where she is__"_Their voices become fainter and fainter as they descend back down the hallway - They're leaving. Fuck they can't leave me! I bite down on Brody's hand as hard as I can causing him to yell as his hand moves away from my face.

"Christian! Christian! Kate!" I scream as loud as I can but shut the hell up as soon as I feel a sharp sting against my cheek, the sound of cracking skin reverberates through my ear and as I raise my hand to my sore flesh I feel something sharp pressing into the side of my stomach. _He fucking hit me!_

"Now. Will. You. Shut. The. Fuck. Up" I look down and when I see what's in his hand a tiny whimper escapes my throat. A knife. He's holding a fucking knife to my stomach. I think I'm going to be sick, where the fuck did that come from? What the hell is happening to me right now? My cheek feels like it's throbbing from the impact of his hit and all I want to do is cry.

"B…Brody, what are you doing?"

"Ah, ah, ah!" He taunts as he wags a finger in my face "No talking. I want you to walk" _Walk? Walk where?_

"W…What?"

"I really didn't want to do that Ana but you made me, I told you not to make me angry" I can feel his hand shaking at my side and that only makes me more nervous, where the fuck did he get a knife from? This isn't him. This isn't Brody.

"Please don't do this" My voice cracks but I take a deep breath and will myself to act normal, if he notices I'm scared that will just empower him even more and that is not something I want to happen.

"Just fucking walk, Anastasia. They know you're not up here and before long they will be back looking for you so I really need you to fucking walk right now" He presses the tip of the blade into my stomach once more to reiterate his point and I know he's really not messing with me right now. He has a knife for fucks sake! He grasps onto my right arm and twists me so that I am facing the stairs. I take three deep breaths and blink the tears away. _I will not cry. I will not cry._

"Move" He spits into my ear and pushes me, I stumble slightly but my hand flies out and I manage to brace myself against the wall just in time. I focus my attention on my black, heeled pumps as I take each step at a time. Not even thinking about anything else except one movement to another.

"Where are we going?" I ask softly as I hit the bottom step, he doesn't answer me he just pushes me along to wherever it is he wants to take me, I don't see a car anywhere so what the hell is he planning on doing with me?

"No getaway car I'm afraid" He says as if reading my mind. "You're security is parked outside the bar watching so we have to go this way" Sawyer's here? Since when? For the first time in weeks relief floods through me knowing I have protection only yards away from me. "It was fucking hard enough even getting in the god damn place without him seeing me" He mutters more to himself than to me, I only just realise that we have just left the bar from the back entrance and are now heading towards a back alley way. It's dark and isolated and I know that no one will come this way, Oh my god he's going to kidnap me, or rape me. I don't know which one is worse right now.

"Brody what are you doing? What are you trying to do?" His hand snakes into the back pocket of my jeans and before I have time to ponder what he is doing he holds my phone in front of me as Christian's caller ID flashes across the screen.

"I'm getting you away from here, away from _him__"_He spits out venomously as he tosses my cell across the road, I hear the smash and my eyes close in defeat as I realise I now have no way of calling anyone for help.

"To where? Brody someone will find us this wont work!"

"Shut up!" He increases the pressure on my arm and I once again feel the blade of the knife protruding through the fabric of my top.

"What do you think will happen exactly? That we will run off into the sunset and live happily ever after because we won't, no matter where you take me I will _never _want to be with you" I'm spun around to face him once more and he grips my biceps with his hands, he's really starting to hurt me and I can feel the anger rising in me more and more. He is trying to intimidate me and frighten me into doing what he wants but then again that's Brody Williams all fucking over. He's a selfish and self centred asshole that only cares about number one and I know now that he will never change, I should have seen the signs at the start of our relationship but I was too blind and naïve to admit the truth to myself. He never once put me first, he never once worshiped the ground I walked on, he never once made me feel like I was the only woman in the world for him - When let's face it, I wasn't.

"You are only saying that because he has made you think this is what you want! This is what he does to women Ana he reels them in and spits them out when he's had his fucking fill" He shakes me roughly with each word and I can feel myself being pushed backwards into an abandoned alley way with trash cans and disposed cardboard boxes scattered on the floor "Look at all the women before you, I was the one that watched him fuck his way through the past five years _ME! _He didn't care where he was getting it from as long as he was getting it you're not special Ana you never were, you were just a forbidden fuck that made him feel good but all of that will ware off you mark my words" He's saying this to goad me I know he his, hearing him talk about Christian having sex with other women sickens me but I'm not an idiot I know he had a colourful past before me. Before I know it I have been backed into the wall at the end of the alley way, my eyes frantically scan the area for something or someone that can get me out of this but see nothing. His left hand remains curled around my arm in a death grip as his right hand moves up to my throat once more, I can feel the cool, steel blade pressing into my neck but I can't figure out if that was an intentional move or by accident.

"And you are so fucking honourable aren't you Brody, tell me something. Was it me who you were thinking about when you fucked your whore of an ex girlfriend?" I seethe at him and watch as his eyes widen in disbelief and for a slight second his grip on me loosens until he composes himself.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know all about the night you saw her out and had sex with her, what was I doing that night I'm sure you will be able to remember - Was I sat at home in _our _apartment waiting for you to come home like the good little girlfriend that I was?" My voice is portraying a confidence that I really don't feel right now, on the outside I look strong but on the inside I am a bag of crumbling flesh and bones praying that I will wake up any minute and realise all of this has been a dream and in reality I am with Christian, we never would have fought and I never would have left. I never would have gone out tonight and placed myself in danger like this. Why the fuck didn't I even think about taking security with me? Clearly Christian secretly arranged for Sawyer to tail me but right now I feel anything but angry, If I get out of this alive I will never pick a fight with him about security again, never fucking ever.

"It wasn't like that, she was there and it just happened" He doesn't even sound remorseful, he cheated on me and it's like he doesn't care. How could I have thought he was the love of my life? How could I have been so blind? I place my hand on top of his that is wrapped around my throat and squeeze as I lean my face forward never once breaking eye contact.

"You. Make. Me. Sick" My voice is barely above a whisper but I know he heard every word judging by the disgusted expression marring his face, I want him to know just how much I hate him. It repulses me that we even breathe the same air. I have been going out of my mind with worry this past week thinking about him hurt and in trouble but now he is stood in front of me I can't even remember the reason why I was so concerned. I slowly raise my knee while still remaining eye contact and within seconds he is hunched over howling in pain as my knee connects with his balls, his eyes screw together tightly and I think I hear a strained rendition of "Fucking bitch" But I don't stick around long enough to make sure as I take two steps forward so I can run, my pulse is thumping wildly in my throat, chest and wrists and I feel like my legs will keel over at any given second but I don't stop.

You know when you're having a nightmare that someone is chasing you and you're running away, yet you're legs don't seem to move they just feel like they are stuck to the floor? You're screaming at yourself to run faster and faster but it's no use because your legs won't work, you're feet wont co-operate and just as the enemy grabs you from behind you wake up in a cold sweat? Well this is exactly how I am feeling right now - Except I don't wake up.

Brody's arm locks around my neck and shoulders holding me in place as I fall back into his chest, I try to scream but it's like he knows that's what I'm going to do because my mouth is covered with his sweaty palm. My heels are dragging along the ground as he pulls me backwards to that very same spot I just tried to escape from only this time he drags me around the corner so that we are faced with a dead end.

"Why did you run. You shouldn't have run" I can hear his strangled voice in the background but it sounds like he is underwater because all I can hear is my heartbeat ringing through my ears, my hands fly up to his arm as I try with all my fucking strength to pull him off of me but it's no use it's like he has the strength of ten men. I can feel the tears rolling down my face and this time I am powerless to stop them, I'm hysterically crying and screaming at the top of my lungs but nothing more than a muffled moan comes out because of his hand that is covering my face. _He's going to kill me._

"You should never have tried to run" He slams me against the wall and for a fleeting movement his hand leaves my neck and I use this opportunity to slam my elbow into his face but he's quick to respond and my arm is caught in his hold once more within seconds. My legs are kicking wildly as I try to defend myself against whatever it is he is about to do to me but he's too strong "I would have done anything for you, I would have loved you forever" He breathes harshly into my face as he tries to pin my arms to the side, I'm fighting with every ounce of strength I have in me but there is no point I'm no match for him, all the self defence classes I took when I came out of the hospital are nothing more than a blank memory right now.

I can't remember one hit. One kick. One stance. One throw. Nothing.

"Let me go!" I scream in his face but he's not listening to me. We are both pulling and pushing and clawing at each other trying to do something, _anything _to get the upper hand.

I then feel a sharp, white hot searing pain in my stomach as all the breath leaves my body. My hands automatically fly to my side as I hear a loud clatter on the ground next to me. My eyes find Brody's wide and horrified green orbs as I feel sticky liquid coating my hands, my gaze trains lower and I see blood oozing through my fingers as the pain intensifies causing me to struggle to fight for breath. I feel my knees buckle and my back slowly slides down the wall before I land on the cold, hard pavement beneath me with a thud. My vision begins to blur as I open my mouth to articulate a cry but nothing comes out. There is no sound. Just pain.

I see his feet slowly stepping backwards as tears begin to cloud my eyes but I don't pay any attention, all I can think about is the rush of excruciating pain that hits me in what feels like never ending waves. I increase the pressure on my stomach with my hands as my head flops to the left and I see the pocket knife lying next to me on the floor.

_Knife… Knife… Brody's knife… Blood… Blood on the knife…_

My eyes become heavy as I shake and shudder through the pain. I want to scream for help but once again nothing comes out, it's like someone has their hands around my throat strangling every last breath from my lungs and there is nothing I can do to fight it. The pain is unbearable and all I want to do is close my eyes and go to sleep…

I don't want to hurt anymore. No more hurt, no more hurt, no more hurt, No more.

**Christian's POV**

"Now before you go in there all guns blazing and drag her out by her hair just remember that she made the first move and called you, don't be an ass and piss her off again" I cant believe I am receiving a fucking lecture from my brother - A lecture on women of all things. Just because he is all in love with Kate now he thinks he is the ultimate go to guy for relationship advice, Ha! That's a fucking laugh.

"I'm not going to do anything like that so you don't need to berate me like a fucking kid , just park over there you're pissing me off driving round in circles" I point to an empty spot two hundred metres from the wine bar and Elliot swings his truck in and puts it in park. I glance over my shoulder and spot the SUV stood at the end of the road so at least I know she is still here. Elliot drove here like a bat out of hell and I swear he managed to get us here in under three minutes.

"Right come on no time to waste" His door is already open before I get the chance to bottle it and demand him to take me back home. The bar is heaving and I struggle to even locate the girls table until I hear a shrill laugh that I recognise as Kate's instantly. I spot her hunched over a small round table laughing her ass off with Olivia beside her - Where's Ana?

"I don't see Ana do you?" I boom in Elliot's ear as Taylor Swift's Trouble begins to blare from the sound system. Where is she if she's not at their table? Kate stops laughing as soon as her eyes land on me and fuck if looks could kill.

"Hey, babe" Elliot bends down to kiss her but she doesn't even acknowledge him she just continues to glare at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Her voice oozes with contempt but I can't say I blame her, after the way I have treated Ana I'm lucky she hasn't shot me in the head by now.

"Kate don't be rude! Hi guys" Olivia chimes in as she places her hand on my arm and squeezes gently, why can't Kate be more like Olivia? Sweet and warm natured? Why does she have to be the devil woman dressed in black?

"Rude? He's lucky that's all he is getting after what he did to Ana don't take his fucking side!"

"I'm not! But it's none of our business so stop being such a bitch!" Whoa a bit of fire coming from Little Miss Demure there.

"Where's Ana? I thought she was here?" Kate shrugs and swirls her cocktail glass like I'm not even here.

"What's it to you asshole?"

"Baby don't be like that, he's here to make things right aren't you?" Elliot nudges me in the side with his elbow and I nod animatedly like a whipped little pussy. "Ana called him and told him she wanted to talk that's why we're here" She raises her head and narrows her eyes at me but I can see her resolve weakening slowly.

"She's gone to the bathroom"

"She's been gone quite a while actually there must be a queue" Olivia pipes up over the rim of her glass.

"How long has she been gone?" I say with a cocked eyebrow, Kate shrugs again and I swear to god if she does that one more time I will throw that fucking cosmopolitan in her face.

"Fifteen minutes or so"

"Fifteen minutes just to piss?"

"Well aren't you a fucking gentleman, like Olivia said there is most probably a queue have you seen how busy it is in here tonight?"

"I'm going to look for her"

"Oh no you don't!" I hear a chair screeching across the tiled floor and before I know it Kate is at my side tugging at my arm but I yank it away from her grip, if she tries to stop me from looking for Ana I will lose my shit.

"Fuck off Kate and stay out of it" I am already barrelling up the stairs two at a time mildly aware of the sound of Kate's shoes hitting the metal staircase as she tries to keep up with me. As soon as I hit the top landing I am expecting to be faced with herds of drunk women gaggling and squealing as they wait in line for the bathroom but I'm surprised when I only see a group of five blondes leaning against the wall talking. Huh? I move closer and try to glance through the half open rest room door but I cant see a thing.

"There is no fucking queue for the toilet Kate, so if she's not here where is she?!" I yell at her as I continue to scan the hallway for her.

"I don't know, this was where she definitely went and she hasn't came back down so she must be up here, let me check the stalls" She disappears through the door as I pull my phone from my pocket and dial her number. It rings and rings but she doesn't pick up, god damn it!

"Well?" I ask when Kate comes back and holds her arms out as she shrugs her shoulders and juts her bottom lip out.

"She's not in there"

"FUCK Kate! Why the hell didn't you go with her? Where is she?!"

"I don't fucking know stop yelling at me she probably went outside for some fresh air!" I'm already bolting back down the hallway and to the staircase. Fucking fuck! How could they lose her? She must still be in the building because Sawyer is stationed outside and there is no way she would have been able to walk out the front entrance without him seeing her.

"You better hope and fucking prey that's where she is"

"Christian calm down she can't be far she left her bag with us, we have her keys, wallet the lot"

"You don't have her phone though she took that with her"

"She takes her phone everywhere she goes" My eyes dart around the main floor once we arrive downstairs again but I still can't see her, if anything this place has gotten even more busier if that was at all fucking possible.

"Well?" Elliot asks as we reach their table, he's lounging in a cheer with a beer bottle and a bowl of nuts in front of him, I'm pleased he's made himself fucking comfy.

"She's not up there" I rummage through her purse next to Olivia's chair to see if she has taken her apartment keys but they're still there along with a bunch of other shit. Where the fuck is she if she is not in this bar?

"I haven't seen her come back down?" Olivia scans the room from her seat frantically much like I did just in case Ana came back without them realising. It's a possible clause, they were both immersed in their own conversation tossing the drink back like fucking water, they weren't even paying attention for Ana.

"I'm going to check outside" I don't even wait for them to follow me as I am already halfway to the door before they can even blink, there are smatterings of people scattered outside the bar but yet again no fucking Ana. I run my hands through my hair as I start to panic, a bad feeling starts to pit in the core of my stomach. She phoned me not even ten minutes ago and now she is nowhere to be seen? I don't know what the fuck is happening but I don't like it one bit.

"Christian!" I hear Elliot yelling my name as I jog down the street to the awaiting SUV but I don't stop to respond. Sawyer must see me approaching because he is opening the car door and stepping out within seconds. See what I mean? Hawk eyes.

"Sir? Is everything okay?"

"Have you seen Ana leave the bar?"

"No, Sir"

"Not in the past fifteen minutes or so?

"No, Sir. Miss Steele entered the bar an hour or so ago and they haven't left yet"

"Ana's not in there" I rasp out in one breath as I turn and continue to scour the pavements but it's no use, she's not here. I feel like I will start hyperventilating at any minute if I don't see her or speak to her.

"Excuse me, Sir?" Sawyer looks and sounds as fucking confused as I feel right now.

"We can't find her, she apparently went to the bathroom but hasn't returned to her friends. Are you sure she hasn't left?"

"One hundred percent sure Mr. Grey I can assure you I would have seen her" And as much as I don't want to believe him I know it's true, Sawyer is one of the best on my team that's why I assigned him to Ana in the first place. He's efficient, plays the game well and remains professional at all times, Ana teases him for being stiff and miserable but she just doesn't understand that he's like that for a reason, if he's laughing and joking with her then he can't do his job properly. He can't protect her if he has taken his eye off the ball _just _so they can talk about the fucking Kardashians.

"Christian call her again" Elliot pants as he comes to join me with Kate and Olivia at his side. I dial her number once more hoping that she answers even if she tells me that she has changed her mind and doesn't want to talk to me anymore, I just want to hear her voice.

"Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up… Fuck she's not answering!" I feel like throwing my phone against the brick wall in frustration but I know that would be pretty fucking stupid and pointless.

"Right, I think maybe we should split up" I reach for Ana's purse that is hanging limply in Olivia's arm and toss it into the back of the SUV.

"Sir, may I suggest that we perhaps call for back up? Taylor maybe?" I turn to look at my security and I am surprised to see a hint of uncertainty flash across his face, If Sawyer is getting worried I know I need to fucking worry.

"No there isn't enough time go with Kate and Olivia and case the bar one more time. Check every fucking nut and cranny of the place and call me the minute you find her do you understand me, the minute!" I am yelling now but I can't control it, I am a thousand emotions all rolled into one. I am scared, anxious, petrified not to mention confused? I don't understand what the hell has happened here if she is not in that god damn bar?!"

"Kate are you listening to me?" She hesitantly nods as Olivia gently links their arms together, they both look scared and so they should be. They weren't looking out for her when they should have been, I thought women always went to the fucking bathroom together anyway? Why the hell was she on her own?

"Let's head this way, there is another bar around the corner that she could be in. Maybe she just wanted to be on her own for a while?" Elliot and I start to walk to the right side by side in hurried, unaltered steps.

"But Sawyer didn't see her leave she couldn't have left through the main entrance"

"Sawyer could be wrong Christian there is a chance that he missed her, you saw that place it was fucking packed to the rafters with people. How many of them do you think would have been hot little brunettes?" I want to lay into him for calling Ana hot but I don't have the strength nor the energy.

"I've got a really bad fucking feeling about this Elliot, something's not right" I stop walking and place my hands on my hips like I have just finished running a marathon needing to catch my breath.

"Hey, hey shut the fuck up" I feel his hands roughly grasping the sides of my neck and he jerks my head so that I can look him in the eye. "Nothing bad has happened so you need to get that out of your head okay? I don't doubt for a minute that anything has happened to her, she has clearly just snuck away to be on her own for a while I love Kate to bits but even I will admit how hard to handle she is" He tries to make light of the situation with a chuckle but I feel anything but light right now"

"But what if -"

"What if nothing okay! Stop fearing the worst and pull yourself together, come on we need to keep moving" He shakes my head one more time before releasing me and leading me to a smaller bar tucked away in the corner of the street almost adjacent to the Wine Bar, it's shabby and cosy inside with country music playing that can barely be heard over the loud and rambunctious chatter from the locals. Hope floods through me as I instantly recognise this place as a bar Ana would love to come to.

"Excuse me?" I holler for the female bartender wiping glasses in the corner of the room "Have you seen a woman in here tonight, she's 5ft 4 and around 112 Ilbs, brunette with blue eyes - Really blue eyes actually…Um she's most probably dressed in jeans?" I ramble out in a rushed breath but realise how fucking ridiculous that just sounded. Elliot's right, exactly how many women have there been fitting that description tonight? I scroll through my phone until I come across a picture I took of her only the other day. She's sat at the breakfast bar in Escala dressed in one of my tee shirts that she loves wearing so much, her hair is tied in a loose bun at the top of her head and she is engrossed with the newspaper in front of her as she cradles her tea - Okay it's a little intimate to be showing to random strangers but it's the only one I have where you can clearly see her face, she looks so fucking beautiful it actually makes my heart ache.

"No, no I'm sorry sugar I can't say I have"

"Are you sure? She definitely hasn't been in here tonight?" I say while shoving the phone to her that little bit more, she studies the photo once more and shakes her head apologetically.

"No I'm positive. I would know if I had seen her in here, pretty little thing isn't she" _You have no fucking idea. _I drop my head in resignation as my heart sinks.

"She's not here Christian lets look somewhere else"

"Where else could she be?"

"This is the first place that we have looked in she could be in any number of others. Come on lets keep looking" Elliot puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me out of the bar but all I want to do is scream. None of this makes sense to me whatsoever, it just makes no god damn sense.

"Right I think we should stay this end don't you? Otherwise we will lose track of where we have been" His voice is hopeful and enthusiastic and for the first time tonight I feel grateful that Elliot is here with me, I can tell that he is just as worried as I am but he's being the strong one out of the pair of us and right now that's what I need. I need strong and I need positive because as time goes on the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach only intensifies even more.

"Why are we going down here?" We come the top of a very poorly lit alley way - Well a number of very poorly lit alley ways, and judging by the smell these are obviously what the bar and restaurant staff use to dispose of the waste at the end of the night. Litter is strewn everywhere and it's crawling with fucking health and safety hazards.

"It's quicker this way to the next lot of bars" I am about to ask how he even knows about this shortcut but think twice when I realise he has no doubt had a few quick fucks down here in his time. Not exactly romantic my brother but then again neither was I. I hear a large crack as I step on something and when I check to see what it is all the breath leaves my body in one full swoop.

"Christian? What is it what's wrong?" I bend down to pick up the now crushed aluminium encased in plastic and try to remind myself how to fucking breathe. "Christian?"

"It's Ana's phone"

"What?" I turn the device over in my hand looking for something to tell me that I am wrong but I know that won't happen. Even though its battered and clearly un-repairable I can still make out the background picture as I click the menu button on the centre panel and I know straight away what it is. It's a picture of Ana, Kate and Olivia that was taken on the night out they had when I turned up at her apartment begging for forgiveness, I only know that because I can faintly see the outline of her sexy as fuck dress that I forebode her to ever wear again unless I am with her.

"It's Ana's phone….IT'S HER FUCKING PHONE!" I scream causing Elliot to flinch in surprise. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Why is her phone here? Why hasn't she got it with her like Kate said she would? Why is it smashed up on the ground in the middle of fucking nowhere? Where the fuck is my girlfriend?

"Christian!" Elliot has his hands on my shoulders again no doubt trying to get me to calm down "If this is her phone then that means she's close it's a good thing" It's not a good thing, finding her phone smashed up in the middle of an alley is not a good thing. It's bad, It's really _really _bad.

"Come on we need to keep moving" Somehow my feet manage to move of their own accord, I blindly follow Elliot in the direction he is heading but don't quite know what to do. I don't want to go any further, I'm too fucking scared of what I might or might not find. This isn't right, we shouldn't be doing this, I should have _never _let her come out on her own. I should never have let her come out full stop! I reach a long and narrow lane that is pretty much muted into darkness, the only lighting being provided is from an overhead neon sign flashing "Milo's" in a tacky font.

"Where does that one lead?" I ask Elliot as he catches up with me.

"I don't know I've never been this way, let's check it out" I slowly pad down the uneven concrete avoiding the broken shards of glass that are scattered around the trash cans and I am relieved when I notice that there is a smaller lamp fitted to the wall providing more light, it's not a lot but it's something. I don't see where this could be leading to it looks like a fucking dead end. I'm just about to turn around and head back when I spot something in the very far corner, I was right it is a dead end. I squint my eyes to try make out what it is. A hand? Is that a hand? I take three small steps closer to see what it is and once I get a clearer view I almost drop to my knees.

In front of me is the limp and lifeless body of my girlfriend. My world spins on it's axis and my heartbeat pounds through my ears getting louder and louder and louder as I take in the gut wrenching scene in front of me in, she's sprawled on the ground unconscious with one arm sprawled out next to her, her other hand is on her stomach and when I see blood I all but sprint to where she is and pull her into my arms.

"Ana, Ana, Ana, Ana!" I chant her name over and over again as I cradle her to me and smooth her hair away from her forehead. She's pale and cold, fuck she feels really cold. I see Elliot crouching down next to me in the corner of my eye and his hand reaches out to feel her pulse.

_She's bleeding. She's bleeding. So much blood._

"She's breathing Christian she's still breathing, Fuck! Okay I'm going to phone an ambulance okay, do you hear me Christian?!" I don't hear him, I don't hear anything. The tears are streaming down my face as I rock her body in my arms and kiss her forehead over and over again. She feels so cold. That can't be good can it? She shouldn't be so cold.

"Yeah I need an ambulance now" I hear Elliot's voice in the background "My brother's girlfriend, we've just found her…She's been attacked…It looks like she has been stabbed or shot or something, you need to get here now" _Shot? Stabbed? No, no, no, no, no, no!_

"Ana. Baby can you hear me? I choke past the tears and push her hair back off of her face once more. She needs to open her eyes, why isn't she opening her eyes? "Don't leave me baby please! I love you so much and I am so, so sorry, please don't leave me, please don't leave me"

"The ambulance is on it's way Christian. They told me that we need to apply pressure to the wound so I'm gunna' take my jacket off and hold it against her okay?" I see his leather jacket pressing against her stomach but I don't take my eyes off of her for a minute, I feel like if I do she will disappear and she can't disappear she just cant. I need her so much.

"She's so cc….cold Elliot!" I gasp out through strangled sobs, I feel like my heart is being twisted from the inside out and I can't feel anything but excruciating pain.

"She's lost a lot of blood brother that's why, take your jacket off and lay it over her that will keep her warm"

"No! I can't put her down. I can't let her go I promised I wouldn't let go"

"She will freeze if you don't Christian,, you only need to put her down for a second that's all. Just to warm her up and then you can hold her again" Just for a second? Then I can hold her? I gently lower her to the floor and rip off my jacket like it's on fire before laying it over her small frame and Elliot's hands, I lift her back in my arms and cradle her to me again as I nuzzle my nose in her hair and try to smell that Ana smell but I cant. She smells like blood and dirt, her skin is cold and I can hardly even feel her breath on my face. A fresh batch of tears roll down my face and several drop onto her beautiful skin. _I can't let her go, I can't let her go._

After what feels like a lifetime the EMT's arrive and try to pull my baby from my arms but I wont let them, they can't take her no one can - She's mine, she's mine.

"Christian let them take her, they need to get her to the hospital now" I can't!

"But she's cold"

"That's why we need to get her to the hospital son, we need to take care of her" A middle aged African-American male crouches down beside me and tries to lift her from my arms, I reluctantly let her go and watch on numbly as they lay her on the gurney and place an oxygen mask over her face.

"What's her name and age?" When I don't answer I hear Elliot speak up.

"Anastasia Steele. Twenty three years old"

"Does anyone know what happened?"

"No, we just found her like this she was already unconscious" _My girlfriend. That's my girlfriend on that trolley._ They wheel her in and I climb in right behind grabbing onto her hand, any closer and I will be on that gurney with her.

"I will meet you there Christian okay, I'm gunna call Kate and Olivia" All I can do is nod. I have no words to speak even if I wanted to, what the hell is happening? This is all just a dream? A really bad fucking dream that will end any minute now. I lean forward and plant soft , tender kisses along her knuckles.

"Please don't leave me, Ana. Please don't leave me"

**A/N 2 - Ohhhhh! ): I know that was quite dark and maybe not what a lot of you were expecting but it paves the way for the rest of my story. We all knew that when Brody got his hands on Ana it wasn't going to be pretty! **

**Please let me know what you think! **

**MrsCTG x**


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